


To Die For (Norman Reedus X Reader)

by MiyakoNanashi



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead RPF
Genre: Actors, Affairs, Angst, Angst and Drama, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Award Nominees, Awards Presentation, Car Accidents, Child Death, Complicated Relationships, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Denial of Feelings, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gen, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Love/Hate, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, RPF, References to Depression, References to Drugs, References to Real People, Romantic Friendship, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Insert, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 154
Words: 249,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25898092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyakoNanashi/pseuds/MiyakoNanashi
Summary: Norman couldn't have done better, yet he remembered feeling a little disappointed: Y/N had talked as if that possibility was absolutely out of question, as if the idea of a relationship with him was the last thing she would ever want. But who knew that she was the woman for whom he would even die for.{possible grammatical errors}WATTPAD - [STORY START: 2019 ~ FINISHED: JUNE 2020]
Relationships: Hilarie Burton/Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Johnny Depp/You, Norman Reedus/Original Character(s), Norman Reedus/Other(s), Norman Reedus/You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

"And that was it! Good!"

"Good?"

Norman stood up, adjusting his elegant black suit. There was a deadly heat in that studio and certainly that didn't help at all.

"Magnificent."

"Wasn't it too boring?"

He went over to the camera. The photographer was always too enthusiastic about everything he did. If another one had been there, he would have had the photoshoot done at least ten times, just to catch the single moment of imperfection, which would have made it unique. Norman joined the man, trying not to appear too critical, he wanted to trust him but his perfectionist spirit always ended up getting the better of him.  
A sudden movement to his left caught the attention of both and forced him to stop. Just a moment before seeing someone disappear behind the corridor door, followed by Greg Nicotero's disconsolate expression.

"Here we go again..."

The photographer returned his gaze to the camera, without even trying to hide how annoyed he was about the behavior of one of the new actresses on the TV show The Walking Dead.

"I'm sorry to tell you Norman, but that woman is a real pain in the ass. If I had known that we were dealing with such a diva, I wouldn't be here, for sure!"

Norman was silent, how should he have answered? It was his fault... He more than anyone else had pushed for Y/N to play the role of C/N (Characters Name) in The Walking Dead and this to the detriment of equally, if not more famous names like Jeffrey Dean Morgan.  
But he had preferred to rely on instinct, it had never deceived him and told him that he could trust her, her professionalism and the fine and ethereal touch she could give to each of her characters.  
They had already worked together on the set of another movie only a couple of years before and the experience told him that he wanted to play again with her, it was a stimulating collaboration and yes, even an exciting one.  
Y/N had the rare ability to question herself during the work, to model herself according to the interaction with her colleagues, it was as if the film breathed, as if the characters were taking life little by little and weren't instead the result of long months of study and exhausting make-up sessions. That was the approach that Norman loved the most, the risk, the improvisation, the exaggeration, which always ended up being more credible than reality itself.  
They would have gone great in the role of lovers, with a great understanding and an innate sense of humor, which Y/N had already proved she knew how to show off, admirably hiding her incredible shyness.  
So it went like this, when Norman had found himself thinking about who he wanted at his side to play the role and right away his thought went back to her. Now things finally seemed to have moved on and a chance, aided by his decision-making weight, had made them meet again, on the set of the Walking Dead soon and right now in a studio for photoshoots.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/N - Character's Name (I chose not to use a name for the Ex and some other Character's you'll encounter, so you can decide what the name will be...)
> 
> Y/N - Your Name  
> Y/L/N - Your Last Name  
> Y/E/C - Your Eye Colour  
> Y/H/L - Your Hair Length  
> Y/H/C Your Hair Colour
> 
> ~

So many things had happened since their first collaboration some years ago. On the contrary to what the tabloids reported, Y/N was nothing more than a friend back then, just like now.

Officially Norman had been in a relationship with C/N (Characters Name), a woman just as beautiful but with a personality completely different from his.  
The attraction between them was already there on the set back then, thanks to the surreal atmosphere, which made the making of their film more like an vacation.  
At the time nothing concrete had happened, Norman couldn't certainly be said to be immune to the charm of his female colleague but was busy with his partner, to whom he had been linked for more than five years. She already had a passionate temperament and a loose talking, a woman in short, who in other circumstances would surely have made him lose his head.  
And so it had actually happened, even if almost some years late: When they met again for the promotion of the film, the woman with that beautiful skin seemed inclined to pull out all her weapons, to conquer one of the most desired man in the world.  
Norman had tried to resist her, but his safety, the angelic and brazen charm that seemed to come out of that film alone, had ended up bewitching him to such an extent that he thought of starting not only a relationship with her but even a new life, far from everything else.  
They had been good at keeping their story a secret for so many months, but when her separation from her companion was made official in the summer of 2012, then the name of the woman began to circulate insistently on all the gossip covers.  
An incredible passion made of ups and downs, separations and fiery peace. She had tried to get away from all that for the first time, unnerved by all the clamor that the scoop had gotten from the media; she did not want to go through the ruins of Hollywood families and above all she did not want to lose her freedom, to be united instead only to the name of the famous actor. She ended up retracing her steps, in the face of Norman's insistent demonstrations of love that, with all his gifts, he had managed to win her back.  
He seemed to have gone mad, within a few months he had decided to buy a huge house, so he could live with her, the life they both dreamed of. And just then, at that time, she had left: She had fled to Paris, feeling perhaps too pressured by his attention, even if the well-informed claimed that she had joined a French model agency, where she met the boss and had established something more than only a simple friendship...

It had been hard months, he was so used to going to work, he found himself without short-term projects, going from one place to another, from one photoshoot to another.  
The evenings had followed one another at a fast pace, Norman had ended up going out more and more often with his companions, Jeffrey Dean Morgan first of all; with whom he spent the evening, among the parties.  
He was as always at the center of the cyclone and the fact of not being able to take refuge as before in the safety of his family, made him feel lost; moreover he continued to be obsessed by the constant presence of the paparazzi, who managed to find him everywhere, making him feel hunted as if he were never the man of his own life. By now he must have gotten used to it but the fact that they were so morbid about his private life, they could still make him feel uncomfortable: It was as if every time he left the house, they asked him to do something, without realizing the border between being a star and being just a man.  
Many years before he had suffered from this face of popularity, which had brought out a kinda dark and das part of his soul. Only the connection with his Ex had succeeded in turning him into a better man but now that everything seemed to be over, he felt like he had nothing left but dedicating oneself to oneself and his passions. Not even his private paradise which he bought together with her, had the same taste without that presence and even though he had tried to recover, the cracks that relationship accumulated in those years, had ended up causing everything to collapse.  
But how much could life go on before it breaks? A new tattoo, a couple of appearances and then he found himself again...  
Norman needed to go back to thinking, to talk without having to scream to overwhelm the music of the locals, he needed someone who really understood him and didn't let him feel the weight of all the changes that had occurred in his life.  
Jeffrey Dean Morgan had known him for some years now, he was his friend, his alter ego a little crazy and a little paternal at the same time, even though they were almost the same age.  
It was supposed to be the usual dinner with friends: with Jeffrey and his wife. Each time it was like coming home. They would have eaten excellent food, they wouldn't have skimped on some wine and would certainly have ended up talking about work even without wanting it; finally Norman would have played something with the children before they went to bed and they would find themselves discussing some problems, in front of a good glass of Whiskey.

Instead Y/N had appeared before him. She had apologized for the delay with her unmistakable voice and when she looked up at him acknowledging him, she had addressed to him one of those smiles, which couldn't be answered, except with another smile.  
Meeting her again had been strange, unexpected, almost shocking. She was so different from how he remembered her: Her Y/H/L (Your Hair Length) Y/H/C (Your Hair Colour) hair framed an almost ghostly face, from which those two enormous Y/E/C (Your Eye Colour) eyes emerged like the depths of the galaxy.  
There was something that troubled him in his eyes, something that forced him to stick to it, like a small flame, which could be felt burning behind an incredibly melancholy look.  
Y/N remained one of the most mysterious creatures Norman had ever met: It was as if her soul was visible at every step, a dark and elegant shadow, which gave her only more charm.  
They had spent a pleasant evening, one of those moments in which one has the feeling of having found one's place in the world, in contact with other human beings so similar to one's personality. There was nothing out of tune in that little gathering of fools, they were four somewhat eccentric and nostalgic creatures, who loved themselves being over the top with silly jokes, without having to flaunt it.

Hilarie, Jeffrey's wife, and Y/N, who hadn't worked together much since one movie they made together, understood more than Norman thought, perhaps because this woman with a slight accent and a slightly whispered voice was a sort of miracle.  
He still remembered when Jeffrey had confided to him in all seriousness that according to him, that Y/N was able to let her personalty like something to hover in the air, only a few centimeters above the ground; Now, observing her in front of him, while she ate and told funny stuff about the things that happened of her latest scenes, the man realized that something magical had to be there and in that almost diabolical smile and at the same time so sweet, too. Now that there was no shadow of makeup and her face revealed a myriad of very small but clear freckles, now that her Y/H/L Y/H/C hair gathered in a disorderly fashion, left the delicate profile uncovered, Norman recognized something irresistible but familiar at the same time.  
Only several hours later, when dawn had caught them, illuminating his skin through the curtains, he realized that Y/N's face reminded him of something beautiful in an incredible way.

He had felt puzzled by that sort of revelation, as if he realized only then that he had not yet freed himself from the past; He felt guilty, not against his former Ex, but against the woman, who now slept peacefully next to him and, somehow, felt he had betrayed with the memory of another.  
Perhaps he would never have succeeded in loving anyone else in the same way he had loved the his Ex; For a moment he had thought he had succeeded with his last partner, who had made him feel like a kid again willing to put everything at the edge, just for love. And instead it turned out to be a sort of mid-life crisis, a man, who needed to search for a new confirmation, in the arms of a woman with all too clear ideas of her future.  
He had remained for some time in that bed, without making up his mind to leave but also unable to touch that perfect body of hers...  
Even now he could say, Y/N was exactly like something perfect, there was something uncommon in her aristocratic beauty and at the same time she's so alive, almost childlike. The intuition of one of the directors on The Walking Dead was revealed to him that night: Y/N was now an adult woman and incredibly brilliant but she had nothing to do with the men being in the films she played in. She was a delicate creature, with a sensitivity that had surprised him or perhaps, it would have been better to say, stunned him a lot. The magnificent body, the design of her lips and that hand that now rested against his chest.  
He had wanted her from the first moment he had seen her and had caressed her with his eyes for a long time, even before he could place his mouth in the hollow of her neck and on her trembling lips of desire.

One night, one night...

How could this have happened? How many times had it happened in the past? How many women hadn't been able to tell him no?  
But this time it had been different, it was him who had failed to resist, when he found himself on the threshold of his own room back home. They had looked at each other without needing to say a word and everything had happened so naturally that it left him blown away.  
But what did he know about her? Almost nothing.  
Her name had been around for years in both America and other countries.  
It didn't often happen, but in that case he had investigated her before calling her for the audition in The Walking Dead.  
Norman had to admit it, he was a little biased towards her: Shee had that look of being the classic pretty girl, more accustomed to undressing in front of a camera, than reciting a couple of jokes in a credible way.  
It was a bit like seeing himself, cleaned up and hidden behind a mask again; maybe yes, the critics were right in continuing to define it as a woman with a naturally beauty flavor, with one of those Looks ideal for bad roles too but there was also that innocence, the gash on a damaged personality, which she could perfectly render, without ever falling into banality. In the character she played you saw her and at the same time you had the feeling of never seeing her.  
Y/N was really an unpredictable being, so introverted and at the same time so sincere and fun.  
She was one who knew how to do that job, one for which Norman had esteemed even before that attraction.  
She was a woman aware of her own complexity, she loved to dare and she knew how to do it with a humility and a passion, which reminded him so much of himself at the beginning of his career. She was not suited to easy roles, because she couldn't stop, she wanted more, she dug more and it was a pleasure to watch her metamorphoses: She adapted, became a sort of sponge, able to shape herself according to her working partners and that made the interpretation believable, funny or dramatic  
It was therefore not so strange that everyone had thought of their story only a that time before. Y/N first tried in every way to convince him not to cast her for the role of C/N; at first he had insisted that someone else join the cast, then he tried to control it also through his friends, following him and asking him continuous questions about his outings outside the set. He then was obsessed with the presence of that woman and the fact that he had chosen her personally: Y/N... Now they couldn't talk about anything else. Perhaps all those suspicions and the constant pressure to which he was subjected had meant that nothing happened between him and the young actress.  
It was ridiculous, Y/N had never shown interest in having a romantic relationship with him, certainly on some occasion it seemed to him that she was provoking him, but that was the chemistry that was created between their characters and it was difficult to be able to part with them on command.  
He smiled at the memory of that interview released the previous month for the new season of The Walking Dead. Just then, while all the attention was catalyzed on their hilarious first scene and rumors of a possible relationship between the two, instead of riding with the wave of gossip, that woman had simply told the truth and done it one way so candid and direct, to leave him absolutely speechless. What were the ranks of public relations professionals, when two transparent eyes were able to look a journalist straight in the face and tell him that those voices were totally unfounded and that people had to be really bored to think of her and Norman together. One could do nothing but smile from such a lack of diplomacy.  
Norman couldn't have done better, yet he remembered feeling a little disappointed: Y/N had talked as if that possibility was absolutely out of question, as if the idea of a relationship with him was the last thing she would ever want. But who knew that she was the woman for whom he would even die for...  
It was so unexpected now, that Y/N was not one who did foolish things, she wasn't one of those dolls attracted by the world of Hollywood, on the contrary sometimes she seemed even scared and maybe she was scared of him too.  
He couldn't say that he courted her on the set openly, since his Ex's behavior inhibited him, but he realized right from the start that there was a particular harmony, their feelings, their eyes were bound by a force, which went beyond the script's lines. Meetings between friends had begun followed by long evenings spent drinking wine and riding long ways with their bikes, so that the woman behind the camera had come to like him even more than the femme fatale, hired to bewitch him.  
And then he understood that he didn't define her as a colleague but as a friend, one of the most amusing and brilliant people one earth, with whom anyone wanted to work again.  
And yet Y/N remained an unknown factor: She didn't talk about her private life, her family or her future mich and above all she didn't talk about men, with whom she probably had a story far from the limelight. In the past she had tried on her own what it meant to have a relationship in the spotlight; her Ex, a man some years older, a true star who lived the Hollywood life and she, so reluctant even to be seen on the street without the dark glasses.

Norman studied her delicate profile for the last time, her long eyelashes and Y/H/C hair. It was adorable, a bit younger, while looking strong and fragile at the same time, who at any moment could have started singing around the room and everyone would love it.

What was he thinking now?

It was so much more complicated than that, Norman had no idea what had driven her to go to his room. But above all he had no idea what she expected of him.  
And he, instead, what did he expect from that woman?  
He had ended up brushing her lips with his finger, returning with his mind to the moments of the previous night; finally he had given in and got up, careful not to wake her and had gone to take a shower, hoping that the hot water would help him clear his head, but when he returned he had found the bed completely empty.

Y/N was gone.


	3. Chapter 2

They had seen each other the next morning. Their embarrassed and guilty gazes had gone completely unnoticed to their two friends, who had their work cut out to keep the children and hangover from the night before at bay.  
Y/N had left that day, saying that she was busy shooting for some new scenes and a photoshoot after it, while Norman still wasn't happy at all for a few days, trying to keep busy with work and not to think about their night of passion.  
And then, like a wave, 'Daryl Dixon' returned to sweep away everything, to bring him back into The Walking Dead. He loved those places, when they were shooting, they were part of him like that character, but it was only a small consolation.  
Of course, going away from home allowed him to live in another big family every time, one made up of actors, technicians, make-up artists and all those who collaborated on a colossal project like that. After so many years Norman had ended up feeling like a sort of patriarch and despite hard months, he savored every moment of that life far away from the rest of the world.  
Returning to civilization after days of work had something surreal.  
That weekend now was just one of the many that he would return to the house he bought for his Ex and sometimes his son Mingus was there too: He would wait for him to come home and he would feel upset, realizing how much he was growing up. He missed it...  
That Saturday he had one of those unexpected encounters that lead to changes. A role in a new movie.  
Within a couple of hours it was all decided and here he was catapulted into the new side project.  
There wasn't even the time to finish filming at the set of The Walking Dead. He already had to attend meetings and make-up rehearsals had begun and then also the auditions for the female part.  
He had been talking about his possible partners in movies for years: There were respectable names, award winning actresses, beautiful women, who had worked with other big actors. And among them, her...  
He had to admit, she's really good. Yet the embarrassment in seeing each other had been masked by professionalism and probably also by their qualities as actors.  
Even if he hadn't said the woman's name, Y/N would certainly have deserved that part; she would've charmed everyone, only a couple of jokes to realize that no one could take their eyes off her lips when she spoke to them... And right after he got rid off those thoughts, she was there. Their exchange of looks had something natural, immediate, whether they wanted it or not.  
Still Norman had been happy that the part was his, they would work together again and everything would go smoothly; after all it was work by now, they knew each other, they faced each other on both sets and they didn't need to prepare themselves to be absolutely magnificent. So magnificent, that he had insisted on celebrating the new job with her, so as to bury the old embarrassments forever; it was important that they could go beyond what had happened, to be able to work in the right way, without any tension.  
He had invited her to a concert, where he ended up going on stage to play bass. He had seen her dance to the sound and enchant all those present with her infectious laugh and that fabulous body.  
There was nothing to say, it seemed that all eyes were catalyzed on the newcomer, which was certainly not a habitual presence. And Norman was instantly drawn to her again so He had forced himself to try to stay away from her even during dinner, but the rivers of alcohol and the presence of friends had certainly not helped his attempt. He had watched her as she slowly undressed her unvisible armor, behind which she loved to hide, he had seen her happy, so natural, revealing the same person, whom he had caught a glimpse for a moment that night at their friends house. He had therefore stopped drinking so as not to make any other mistakes, until he had greeted her reluctantly, when her taxi had arrived to take her back to the hotel.  
Only when he got home and undressed to get under the covers did he realize that he couldn't sleep. An old anxiety that was well known to him had come back to haunt him.  
He had taken a cigarette, starting to smoke without a particular idea what to think but he already had decided it.

Arriving in front of the hotel the curtains closed and a light turned on, which convinced him even more to try.  
He knew very well which pseudonym Y/N would use and it didn't take long before the young concierge, recognizing him, showed him the room where she was staying.  
Who knows, maybe it seemed like quite a normal date between an actor well known like him with an equally famous actress.  
He saw the numbers of the floors scrolling in the elevator and wondered if she was alone, if by chance she didn't have a companion waiting for her or who knows, maybe even a boyfriend?  
He knocked on the door decisively, at most he would have invented something on the spot.  
And instead he heard a sleepy voice, asking who he was at that hour.  
That sound made him panic, before seeing the big Y/E/C eyes and the Y/H/C hair emerge from a slit of the door. She looked cute, so disheveled and confused, she was probably still dizzy from the evening which just ended, Norman thought. He just stared at her in silence, concentrating on the long black eyelashes and on her full lips.  
The woman's initial instinct was to withdraw slightly, disappearing back into the room, but this did nothing but making Norman smirk a bit, and he knew she liked that.  
He now saw her lower her eyes and it was then that she decided to let him enter her hotel room.  
Everything seemed so slow, almost as if even that was just the set of one of their scenes, who knows? But no, there was only the silence of that hotel room.  
Norman turned around to see her close the door and without knowing how, in the next second he found himself exploring that body with his eyes, which he sensed through the white cotton of that big shirt she wore, to caress those long ivory legs, getting lost in the smell which stayed in the air, which smelled of flowers and cigarette smoke.  
The desire was so powerful now that he felt his sighs more and more agitated and his nails on his own skin. He wanted to look at her, he wanted to possess her and love her for hours, forever.

They had ended up staying awake until the sun was already high in the sky, they had made one of the longest showers he could remember and then found themselves having lunch in bed, still completely naked. And there was no one else in his mind at that time. There was no embarrassment, no fake modesty. There were just the two of them, stripped of their characters of function and reality.  
Norman had laughed as he hadn't remembered for some time, looking at some of the material that the directors of their new movie had left to study the part and had fun mimicking the characteristics of their characters. And then they had made love, again, until they ended up falling asleep, embraced in a lovely hug.  
They had greeted each other the next morning Just with smile, Norman had remained in bed, preparing one of his cigarettes as he watched her prepare carefully. Y/N didn't even look like the same woman right now with the smile of a goddess, who had cradled him for hours in that limbo of play and passion.  
Now the woman with a feline but enigmatic gaze had returned, the one who would make every man turn his head around. The two versions of the same woman...  
Norman wondered which one he could resist more of these two.

Later he had put on the clothes he left on the floor two evenings before and kissed her on the threshold of the door, as if greeting her before going to work, to see her the same evening.  
But they would not have seen each other that evening or even the following evening. Yet deep down they both knew that this was not a goodbye.  
Y/N had climbed into a taxi shortly after him and greeted him with a wave of her hand, hiding her eyes and he had stayed there, with his cigarette between his lips and an annoying feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
What had he thought of? Why had he been so stupid?  
He knew that if there was one thing to avoid it was just that; no rumors on the set, at least not yet.  
He was no longer a boy who could afford the luxury to slip into a colleague's bed and stay there for two days.  
Perhaps his Ex was right, maybe he had a problem with women, he couldn't help himself and the female gender seemed to love him too much to resist him...  
Now that the taxi was just a dot at the end of the driveway, he felt like he was drained, as if he had gone back in time ten years at least and had done nothing good for himself. He and Y/N should have started working together as actors, and now he was doing such nonsense, he thought to himself.  
So why had he taken her out? Why had he felt so good when he knew he had her attention when he was on that stage? And why had he waited at home before he reached the hotel?  
Now it would have been more difficult to work together without falling back into getting and showing cold looks while having a undeniable desire for each other. He couldn't commit himself, he didn't want to do it now. He loved that woman, she was one of the brightest colleagues he knew and with her the understanding was skyrocketing... But it was too much. Simply too much.  
There was something he had sensed from the very first time and which he had now focused on, spending so much time with her: Y/N actually wasn't a woman for a one night stand. She had been with him but also she hadn't really been.  
Both knew it would happen again and this shouldn't have happened. No, he wouldn't let it ever happen again. He would talk to her before the next time on set.  
But now that filming had actually begun a few weeks ago, everything had taken a different turn from what he had imagined.  
Not only between them the reports were reduced to the minimum both on the set and outside, but it seemed that nothing was left of the wonderful actress, whom Norman had known and appreciated.

The director was disappointed by the behavior of his protagonist: Y/N showed up late on the set, often with terrible looks, that not even the best of make-up artists could have made it any better.  
Norman didn't know what to do, things had changed a lot since the last time of filming The Walking Dead, there was nothing of the fun and relaxed atmosphere that was there anymore. He was confused and upset by that inexplicable behavior; initially he had thought it was because of what had been between them but he soon realized that it couldn't be, since he, although he didn't want it, found himself looking for her on more than one occasion, failing it to his good intention to close.  
Y/N showed herself cold just as if she had erased all memories of that weekend of passion.  
Maybe he was wrong, maybe she was exactly the blow-and-go type. Maybe he had idealized her, thinking that something more could be there with her.  
He had no idea what was going on until he had discovered through someone from the crew, that Y/N had a boyfriend, a wealthy entrepreneur. Probably she had always been already engaged, and that with him had only been yet another escape.  
He had been the lover, the diversion. And so the image that had become of the perfect woman had turned into that of a spoiled girl, probably accustomed to certain behaviors.  
What went through her mind and what she was doing to be reduced to that state remained a mystery.  
The more days went by, the more Norman wondered what was on her mind, if she felt guilty for having betrayed her companion.  
But what could he do now? They had never talked about it and they wouldn't have done it, it was a tacit agreement between them, that neither of them would have violated, in order not to jeopardize the work balance.

Suddenly the voice of Y/N's assistant was to be heard, approaching.

"I'm sorry, she will be ready in about ten minutes... If all goes well!"

"Yeah, if all goes well... And it seems like that nothing ever goes the right way with that woman!", answered the director. 

Norman recognized the director's disgruntled expression in front of him. He felt mortified, the professionals certainly didn't behave that way. The whole crew had been at work for months for that long-awaited production and they had already struggled so much to get the okay from the producers. They couldn't risk questioning everything.

"I'll try to talk to her!" Norman said, already knowing the man's answer.

"And what good would it do? At first things didn't seem so complicated... If we hadn't already fixed everything, I wouldn't hesitate, believe me."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault! Come on, let's try again the other scene..."

Norman was ready to resume his position on the set.  
But he would have talked to her anyway, Y/N couldn't continue to behave like this could she?


	4. Chapter 3

The watch already marked midday when Y/N had made her appearance.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry..."

The director motioned for her to come closer and Norman couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Excuse me. I didn't feel very well..."

"Yeah... Is this a fairly recurring excuse or am I wrong? I would like to know if your poor health has always been a cause for problems on your sets? You know there are medical certificates, there are specialized centers where you can get help... It is a lack of respect not only for those who pay all this but also for all the hundreds of people who work every day so that everything is perfect and according to plan!"

Y/N looked down, feeling guilty. She didn't need that lecture, she knew what the boss was thinking, what everyone had been thinking for days now. They were convinced that she had some problems with alcohol or perhaps with drugs; her face looked more and more hollow and tired letting them guess that she spent sleepless nights and it was not difficult to imagine her hanging around until late. But all this was at the expense of the work of a large number of people. She had to decide to talk to him, she couldn't keep repeating that after all, the judgment of others didn't matter.

"No... You're right, I know. But I'd rather discuss it in private... Later..."

The director raised an eyebrow, amazed by the somewhat ambiguous request, made with a whisper. What could she mean that was so important? For a moment he had the distinct feeling that Y/N was going to leave everything: The role, the film, America. It was no mystery that she hated those productions and Hollywood itself. She panicked, couldn't afford to blow it up and start all over again, even if she gave up her mind-boggling cachet. He looked at those perfectly made-up eyes with curiosity and saw no other choice.

"Okay, I'll see you in my office at 8pm. Now go, we can't stay too far behind."

He followed her with his eyes as she walked away with that slim, sinuous body of hers and saw her reach his colleague, who had been waiting patiently for too long. If Norman hadn't had a weakness so obvious to her, he would have left everything long ago, he knew that temper too well.

"Hey... Are you okay?", he asked as soon as he could meet her eyes. They needed to have contact at least before starting to act, it would have been too difficult to jump into the cold spotlight.

"Of course... And I guess I also owe you an apology..."

He saw the small ripple of her newly drawn lips and the dark shadow under her tired eyes; no matter how busy they were, the trick had failed to hide her ghostly features. Sometimes he had the feeling that she had never left her movie character. She wasn't feeling all right and Norman didn't have the slightest idea what was going on in her life so bad, that she reduced it that way.

"We could have a coffee after the shoot... What do you say?"

The proposal came out of him so quickly, while the technicians were busy around them for the final preparations. Y/N nodded smiling but couldn't hide the flash of nervousness in her eyes.

'Okay... Are you ready guys?'

'Action!'

One of the usual convivial scenes, a number of actors plastered in their clothes, in front of a table, covered with glasses.

He walked over to her ear, barely touching her.

"I think-...", she started, while he saw her stiffen and looking down for just a moment. He didn't exactly remember what she had to do now, but he was ready for any change she wanted to make in the script; often it worked like this between them, it depended on the moment, they would still have managed to have perfectly accomplices in their characters.  
But Y/N's expression when she looked up at him again made him realize that she was no longer acting. He felt her take a deep breath, struggling to keep control, while her face, suddenly beaded with sweat, became very pale.

"I think ..."

"Y/N?", he sked her worriedly, approaching her again and brushing her bare arm. Y/N jerked aside, stammering.

"Norman... Sorry... I don't... There's a tremendous heat in here... I can't... I can't...", she started and her voice sounded uncertain as she tried to get out to get some air. It was only a short moment after that, before her body gave up, letting her fall back into the arms of Norman.

"Stop! Damn! Stop! Stop!", the directors curses were getting closer and closer, among the excited reactions of those present, who crowded around them.

"Let her breathe... Move away... Let her breathe!"

Norman laid her down on the ground, right next to the table with the glasses and started to give her air with one of the scripts. Without even thinking about it, he stroked her forehead, realizing how cold it was.  
Their assistants were already there.

"Y/N darling... Can you hear me? Come on, it's nothing, it's all right! Open your eyes! Guys, give me that water please.", the assistant said, pointing to one of the fake glasses of alcohol. Norman watched the man's hand and his light strokes on his friend's incredibly pale cheeks. What was happening? From what was going on, their assistants didn't seem the least bit surprised about what happened...

"Here... good, drink some water! Now it's all over, you know it! Everything is okay!"

A little moan and the huge Y/E/C eyes opened again; Norman met them for a moment and left spontaneously, letting the assistant help her sit up.

"You almost made me have a heart attack!", the director tried to smile at her, kneeling beside her.

Y/N was embarrassed, she didn't like being the center of attention, that was clear.

"Okay... Sorry it's okay! That must have been... Only the lights or something..."

"Yes you are right, it's a terrible heat in here! Bring her a coffee, please! With lots of sugar..."

"No boss. No coffee, thanks! The water will be enough..."

The woman stopped him, unleashing her strong tone again. Norman saw her get up, while the blood slowly returned to color her cheeks.

"Okay, I'm really fine. Let's start the scene again!"

Y/N was avoiding Norman's gaze at all costs. He could hardly believe that she was the same person, lying helpless in his arms only a couple of minutes before. She was cold again, aristocratic, almost insensitive even to the slight embarrassment she had just shown.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be better if you recovered for a moment?", Norman decided to ask her, running a hand through his hair.

"No, there is no need, I'm serious! I did waste enough time today already, didn't I!"

'Action!'

The director went back to his chair and Y/N stood still, while the hairdressers arranged her hair again, looking deeply into Norman's eyes, just for a moment, a glimpse of a second and there still was something Norman couldn't explain, but he had to find out.


	5. Chapter 4

"What do you mean with changes?", he asked, exhaling a cloud of smoke from his cigarette, scratching his cheek with his thumb.  
The director had introduced himself that morning with an unperturbed expression on his face and had given voice to all his news within minutes. Norman had listened to him in silence, trying to remain calm, even though the constant movement of his leg showed a certain uneasiness.  
Anyone knew how sympathetic he was, but he hated that kind of last-minute improvisations. The truth was that there had to be no changes during the filming of such a film, they never had to exist, unless there were obstacles beyond possible initial forecasts.

"It won't be anything, we had a bit of trouble, that's all... Well last night I met Y/N and given the situation I think we should only make some tiny changes! It's about giving her a little more time... Well, you will and need to understand her personal needs too!"

Norman couldn't help but smile.

"Her needs? But what does personal needs mean? There are no personal needs in this work... We decided to sign and we know exactly where and when the filming will take place. In so many years I haven't been able to afford many personal needs. It amazes me that you willingly accept such a situation! You would never do that for anyone!"

The director looked at him in surprise; sure, Norman wasn't one who raised his voice and he had rarely seen him so annoyed like now.

"Listen Norman, I understand that you are upset but it will be just a change of the lineup, so as to stay on time and the money! You can't ask me to give up the main character of the film at this point in the shoot. I don't know what your problem is. And sorry, but isn't she your friend? Weren't you the one who wanted her here so much? Y/N Y/L/N here... Y/N there..."

"Yes! And it is precisely for this reason that I now take it so serious! I have always supported her and I never imagined that she would have shown such bad professionalism. I feel responsible to those who work with me too!"

Now he was really angry. He had tried in every way to find excuses for his colleague's behavior but it was too much. Both had also other projects, they had deadlines to meet.  
The director lit a cigarette, crossing his legs behind the desk.  
"Come on Norman, we're talking about more than valid reasons!"

"Well, let's hear these reasons then?"

The director became serious, sat up in his chair and leaned slightly towards him, resting both arms on the wooden surface.  
"Wait... So you want me to believe that you don't know anything? Didn't she tell you anything? Nothing at all?"  
The man's impassive face made him realize that he was unaware of the whole affair.  
"Come on Norman... You're kidding me!"

Norman put out his own cigarette in the ashtray, giving him a questioning look. What should he have known? What was he waiting to spit out?

"Well okay. Then I'll tell you, since you pretend nothing happened and that you don't know anything. Y/N is pregnant!"  
His hand, still intent on removing the residual embers in the ashtray, remained blocked in mid-air and he continued impassively.  
"By now she should be in the first... No wait, maybe second month... Now I don't remember... Anyway what does it matter? She only told me last night... I was convinced you had known it for a while!"

Norman couldn't find even a sensible word to say. Not only did he know nothing but he felt an annoying sense of panic growing, while the director continued, as if nothing had happened.  
"Well of course she thought that this wouldn't affect the shooting, since it should end next month but now there is a risk that things need too much time we can't afford. In any case I don't feel like blaming her, she hasn't spoken about it openly but I don't think it was a planned pregnancy."

Norman struggled to sit still, almost as if he were burning.  
Y/N was expecting a baby and he couldn't help but think about what exactly happened one or maybe two months ago. Suddenly he felt that the room was becoming too small and stuffy and his instinct urged him to get up and run outside, looking for air. He had to know...

"Norman, are you okay?", the director asked as he had noticed his absent gaze.

"Yes. Yes of course...", he answered automatically.

"You look upset. You really didn't know? That woman is really an enigma... She probably didn't want this to affect work..."

Norman swallowed hard, feeling that his mouth was getting incredibly dry.

"And then Norman forgive me... We would also be legally wrong, if we didn't give her the chance to work at her best, especially after the health problems that occurred..."

"What... What problems?", he asked and realized that he had been a little too abrupt with that question, failing to curb the note of apprehension in his own voice.

"Well... I don't understand much about these things, however, nothing that could compromise her presence on the set. You saw it too... Nausea, dizziness. It looks like that it isn't a simple pregnancy and certainly to stay all day here in this infernal heat, is not easy at all... I just wonder why she didn't want to talk about it before, we could have helped her a couple of weeks ago already."

"Y/N is very... private..."

He didn't even know why he had to say those words in his defense, since he was bothered by that conversation, perhaps even more than the director.

"Yes, in fact she wasn't forced but we would have avoided questioning its seriousness and above all we would have found someone immediately, who would replace her in some scenes. Now I'll explain how we'll do it. Clearly we will try to shoot all her scenes in the next weeks, before the pregnancy starts to be too visible. Being inside, we can take advantage of the evening hours, in which she should have fewer problems."

He wasn't listening, how could he? Norman remained with his eyes fixed on the movements of his hands, without thinking of anything else, but that night and his life, which was maybe about to change.

"...I've already thought of contacting a stand-in for the action scenes, I don't think it's safe to risk it. Then we will focus on the rest of the plot itself... You will see that we will end up in time to go into postproduction before fall. At Christmas we will be ready. Perhaps even earlier. What do you say?"

"Yes... That's perfect! Okay...", he answered, unable to hide his confusion and finally got up from the chair, ready to go out and look for her before shooting.

"There she is!"

The directors exclamation forced Norman to turn towards the door, which was opening at that very moment; there she was, beautiful in her long robe.  
Y/N smiled, avoiding Norman's gaze.

"Did they already tell you that that pregnancy makes you even more beautiful?", the director told her.

"Did they ever tell you you're a big liar? But thanks anyway for the attempt!", she replied, in that usual tone of hers that was both playful and seductive.

"Come on, you wouldn't be ugly even if you tried! Look... I bet even Norman agrees. We will start with the shooting in the bedroom okay... Are you ready?"

Norman looked for her gaze but once again it escaped him; Y/N must have just realized just now that he also knew and was entitled to explanations.  
The directo stood between them, leading them out of the door of his office, heading for the set.  
"You know I was convinced that Norman knew and you were keeping the secret for yourself... We felt almost offended! And you have confused us all! Who would have thought it... Did you want to keep us in the dark?"  
The slight blush of her face betrayed the mood of the woman. Norman could feel anxiety rising inside him as he waited for an answer from her.  
"I wanted first to make sure everything was going smoothly."

No answer would have been fairer than that. And yet it was a lie, it could be read in every part of her face, in each of her movements.

"Okay let's move on before the same happens like yesterday. I recommend darling, if anything you feel like hot, cold, cravings, dizziness, you warn us. We don't want Norman to break his back to support you again, right? And above all I would never want to find myself with a mad guy out here, ready to break my nose... We already have enough of jealous boyfriends on the set, right Norman?"

Norman felt his powerful pat on his shoulder, while his words caught him more like a punch in the face: Guy? Boyfriend? Suddenly he felt like a perfect idiot; how could he have thought he could be that child's father? They had been careful and he had always suspected that Y/N had a boyfriend in New York with whom she maybe was already together by the time of filming The Walking Dead. Now that he thought about it, perhaps she had named him herself on a couple of occasions. In an instant all the castles he had built in his mind had crumbled and all the panic had melted, leaving him with a strange sense of relief but also emptiness.

They walked along the corridor to the set, where about thirty people had already been working for hours.

"Do you feel better?", he whispered as they walked side by side. He did not know what he had to do, in those cases he congratulated the future mother, wondered about the sex of the unborn child and whether the father was happy with the news. But not between them, it was all so absurd and embarrassing at the moment.

"Sure... I'm sorry for yesterday..."

"You don't have to... I was just worried. You didn't look so magnificent, let's be honest!", Norman tried to joke and managed to steal a smile From Y/N.

"True, I've never looked good lately."

"Why didn't you tell me?", he finally decided to ask as a number of people took turns around them to control the light and the lucidity of their faces.

"I told you why..."

"It can't be just that... I thought we were friends."

"We are."

"Don't you think I should have known?"   
  
Y/N Y/E/C eyes answered in silence, while an assistant put the lipstick on her parted lips.

"Okay, ready... lights-..."

They had no more time to talk, now it was time to turn into their characters...  



	6. Chapter 5

"Oh... I can't believe it!"

Hilarie rose from the living room chair, bringing her hand to her hair.

"What do you mean?"

Jeffrey looked at her troubled by that theatrical reaction.

"Ah nothing... Forget it! Come on, let's go. It's time to go to sleep!

"You know I don't give up. So please tell me!"

"That's not the case..."

He was already moving away towards the stairs to go, but the curiosity was too much. And she knew how crazy that behavior was.

"No, I really don't get it, you know I always need a little clue."

He saw her stop for just a moment, giving him her back.

"There are only inferences!"

"But I adore your inferences!"

He had made it. She loved that he called her that, she adored the inflection of his voice as he spoke those words and adored him, despite that he was an actor with an utterly handsome appearance. They both found themselves smiling a little stupidly at the sweetness of that scene. It was their life, their unique life and love, of which they were so proud.

"So?", Jeffrey said first, looking at his wife.

"Well, then it's his!"

She knew his facial expressions well, his eyes wide and his forehead slightly frowning, which made it obvious something so obvious to her, what he was thinking.

"When... Whose?"

"Oh Jeffrey... Do you think Norman is calling you at this time of night just to tell you that Y/N is pregnant? What did you already know? And what did you pretend not to know? And don't try to change the subject... However this is not the point. We knew about her pregnancy for at least a month, didn't we? And he who works there every day, didn't have any idea? And the first thing he does when he finds out what it is? He calls you! Everything seems really strange to me! Y/N is not the type to keep such news a secret!"

"Well, she tends to mind her own business as usual... It's probably because of that."

Hilarie was exasperated by the obstinacy of her man, he seemed to be doing everything not to understand.

"Okay. But don't you think it's very unusual that he didn't even mention the 'boyfriend' when he told us about the baby?"

"What are you trying to say?... And Norman? What has he got to do with it?"

She remained silent, scanning her companion's face, who now stared at her with a slight smile, not daring to utter a word more. And then he realized, he instinctively raised his chest, joining his hands on the table and taking a deep sigh.

"No! No Hilarie... No way!"

"But now you know what I mean! Come on, we know very well what happened between those two."

"We can't be so sure!"

Hilarie looked at him sufficiently, placing a hand on his.

"I am a woman, I hear certain things. And anyway, even if my sense had abandoned me, it was enough to look at Norman's face... He always has that expression when Y/N is around."

"What expression?"

"Don't tell me you've never noticed? He has that guilty and somewhat childish expression at the same time. The point here is that something happened between those two and I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that something happened even afterwards. So Jeffrey, Y/N and Norman like each other... Do you remember the chemistry during the scenes on The Walking Dead? I didn't feel it alone, there was something! Never before has Norman been so fascinated... Well apart from-..."

"No, don't even mention her! I can't take that story anymore!"

Jeffrey stopped her by opening both hands, as if he were physically defending himself from her words. He knew that Hilarie was right, Y/N and Norman had been the best couple he had ever worked with. He couldn't deny that they shined together. 

"Okay, so let's do as you say, let's assume you're right. Don't forget that Y/N is a busy woman and from what I know, also very much in love with that boyfriend in New York. I mean he never gave a sign of wanting to take advantage of his ascendancy on Norman."

"Yes, but this was before... before... everything..."

"Hilarie, please, you are raving! We can't be sure anything has happened. They are your own fantasy! Y/N is not a woman who goes around giving birth to children from the first guy one that passes by."

"Norman is not the first to pass!"

"And who tells you that she is no longer with this man? What makes you so sure?"

"I don't know... I believe that 'boyfriend' is out of the game at this point!"

"Oh yeah... You believe!"

"That man wasn't in Europe with her when she came here and he's not even in Georgia right now!"

"You know people work, they probably don't have time!"

"Would you have stayed away from me, knowing I was pregnant with your kid?"

He remained silent, how could he blame her? But not everyone followed their logic, maybe what was normal for them, for others it was not.

"I don't know... I can't think of such a thing!"

Yet Jeffrey was already thinking about it and the more he reasoned about it, the more he realized that it was not a hypothesis so far-fetched. Y/N had been very evasive about the pregnancy and now the voice, which he had heard beyond the receiver, was not that of the usual Norman. It was clear that he had called him with an excuse to give him the news and Jeffrey had the feeling that his friend was expecting something from him.  
He sighed, trying to metabolize all those thoughts.

"Okay... Why not tell him then? And soon he must work with his Ex together again."

"C/N. That C/N?"

Jeffrey was still sure he had misunderstood. He had completely forgotten Norman's Ex, but he was sure that he would never get back together with her after the shoot.

"I'm afraid yes... Maybe they'll try to sort things out too?"

"And how can you know?"

"I haven't talked to Norman about it... Maybe you could do it..."

"And what should I ask? 'Hey man, are you still doing it with your Ex?' Norman and I don't talk about these things... We don't talk about women."

"Okay okay... Don't be so scandalized. I'll do it, okay?"

His wife stood up but her husband's words stopped her.

"And what about Y/N now?"

"I don't know Jeffrey. What do you think we could do? I'm pretty sure, she can't lie, I mean his Ex... She gets nervous and starts to gesticulate in that hypnotic way and then widens her eyes and her accent becomes so serious..."

Jeffrey smiled and stopped her, taking her hand.

"Okay... I see that you have analyzed her character well."

"Oh yes I'm sorry... You've heard it too, she doesn't feel well and have to work next to Norman every day. We just need C/N to come back..."

" But why can't we just do our own business? Have we not already had thoughts? They still have to finish all the work and then-..."

"Jeffrey, how can you always be so cynical?"

Hilarie looked down at her hands; not even she loved to search through the affairs of others, especially Norman. But now this scenario was nothing short of surreal, even going beyond the best films he played.

"I'm not cynical, I'm just a realist! Y/N is an adult, if she needed our help, she would have told us about it, don't you think?"

"In fact, that's exactly what she did when she came here last month. Because she would have told us if she didn't want us to find out the truth. You saw how sad she looked... And admit it, she never talked about that suspicious 'boyfriend', not even once!"

"She didn't even talk about Norman."

"Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm making up everything! But do you understand what I'm telling you? It doesn't matter if this child is his or not... Y/N feels something for Normam, this is obvious."

"Here we go again... First it's Norman, who feels something for her, now it's her who feels something for him..."

Jeffrey stretched his legs under the table, dropping the sentence in half and sighing resignedly.

"It was Norman who called her, wanted her and gave her that damn audition."

That said he went back to checking his e-mails on his mobile phone, declaring the conversation as ended.  
Hilarie got up nervously from her position; it was not like Norman to behave that way, no matter how much he still adored His Ex, it was clear that their love was now over and certainly not because of Y/N.  
She took a few steps toward the stairs, before stopping again.

"So what do you say... I call her? I will try to investigate. I bet it doesn't have to be easy to carry a similar weight... Maybe talking to a friend will help her to open up..."

"Do as you like..."

"I tell you, I'll be right!"

Jeffrey grimaced resignedly, taking the last sip of water and nodded into her direction.

"Okay then I'll go right away. Wish me luck!"


	7. Chapter 6

Norman drank a sip of champagne, thinking about how it was too sparkling and tasteless, compared to wine. He didn't like that kind of social events where he was right now, everyone was polite and could not wait to be immortalized, pretending to participate in the charity cause, for which they were invited.  
He looked around, hoping to recognize the unmistakable shape of Brian; it was really strange that he too had been invited, Marilyn Manson, the enemy of the jet set, the Antichrist, the one who had made the rebellion against the system with his music for more than twenty years. But even this was a symptom of how much time had changed, the boundary between the inhabitants of the great booth called Hollywood, was nothing but an invisible thread, of which he was also a part like. He looked past the heads of those present and his attention was drawn to a strangely familiar figure.

"Hey, if that that isn't Norman.", that known voice said.

"Can't believe it... What are you doing here, old man?"

Norman hugged Andrew, they hadn't seen each other for some time now, even though they often were on the same set from The Walking Dead.

"Look at you... You must have made a pact with the devil, there is no other explanation!"

It was always a party when they saw each other again, Andy was an extraordinary man, of a unique loyalty and humility.

"Meet my wife... Well, no use introducing you, right?", he laughed while Norman shook the hand of Andy's wife. He then realized how much his friend had changed since the last time they met; it was not only the merit of shorter hair, now he seemed a satisfied and finally more happy, since he had more time with His family. It reminded him so much of himself years ago, when he had started a new life alongside Helena and their child.  
Norman cast a distracted glance behind him, getting a strange feeling from the man, who had passed by like a hurricane to greet someone else.

"Well hello there, darling.", he only heard from the man who was Orlando Bloom, but suddenly he was brought back to reality by an embrace from Andrew again, which literally immobilized him.

Immediately there was a scent, which hit him even before the woman entered his field of vision; then he saw her, a sinuous figure wrapped in an almost impalpable fabric, which merged with that diaphanous skin, leaving only her generous shapes to guess. Her Y/H/C hair was gathered in two small braids, leaving the line of the neck uncovered; her hands were adorned with some of the most beautiful rings he had ever seen.

"Y/N... It's so nice to see you again! I heard you were here!"

Norman looked around, hearing her name again. How could he not immediately recognize the sensual and unmistakable atmosphere of her being around?

The joking words of Orlando, however, wanted to highlight a true admiration for the woman, who for several years now, attended those events in favor for those who really needed help.

"Yes of course... I don't think I know half of these people! But don't tell anyone... Yes, I've just been here. And how's your girl...?", he heard Y/N asking.

"You know you're the only one in my life. And with who are you working at the moment, I bet you're missing me?", Orlando had made that comment in a whisper, smiling, addressing himself only to his friend, who could do nothing but nod in embarrassment, as if anyone could read her distress in her face.

Y/N then turned around, right in the direction of Norman and almost fell, recognizing him only then.

"Well... We're actually working together now!", Norman suddenly said, drinking his glass out in one gulp, without looking into her eyes. But what was happening? They had seen each other on the set all day and didn't even know they were both attending this event. And now it turned out that Y/N actually was Here too?

"Really? So you're here together?", the smile of Andrew's wife couldn't really be sweeter and more naive than that. Y/N tried to smile in return, avoiding the gaze of the two men, Norman and Orlando.

"No. Actually we came here separated. You know..."

"Oh yes... This woman is perfect but if there is something that she really doesn't have, it is punctuality!", Orlando teased her, tapping her head with his finger.

"Oh, stop it!", Norman tried to laugh at the joke like the others, but his gaze was already pointed at the new waiter, who was passing with the tray full of champagne glasses. If at least they had something stronger right now...

"Look, here's your friend!", Orlando pointed to Brian as he entered, followed by the flash of photographers. A nod was enough and the star also joined the group. Even Y/N and Brian had known each other for a long time and so had Orlando and the others, but there was no doubt that Brian had been struck by the sight of the woman. Norman realized he felt slightly uncomfortable, when he saw him show off one of his obsequious kisses, it was an almost grotesque scene; what did he expect then? Y/N was just the kind of woman who would drive everyone crazy. A mysterious lady, as he would have called it, the ivory skin, the Y/H/C hair and those two witch's eyes, which would have made any creature of the night fall in love with her.  
They were saved by the announcer's voice, which decreed the beginning of the evening; there would be performances, prizes, more or less some speeches.  
Norman sat down at the central table with the others, who would later take turns on stage, while Y/N remained with Orlando Bloom and those who were probably the organizers of the event.  
The man couldn't help but cast continuous glances in her direction, surprising himself in seeing her so formal.  
How many things were there which he still didn't know about her?  
He had to admit it, it was strange to see her so familiar with actors and directors of that caliber.  
And now here she is, while she was joking with Orlando, as if they were best friends or while she was smiling at a joke that someone else had made in her ear, or while she was going up on the stage and barely whispering the words of thanks. It was as if the whole room had suddenly fallen in love with her and her gaze, which escaped the audience because of the immense shame she suddenly felt and Norman couldn't help but think back to when the same look had been only for him.  
Y/N wondered where her companions where and without even realizing it, she found herself looking around, trying to find them.

Norman suddenly felt that the room was becoming too narrow for him, so he decided to go out for a few minutes for a cigarette.

"So that's her mysterious witchcraft?"

Brian, who had followed him, wasted no time before starting to ask. Who knows how long his brain was grinding those words.

"Yeah. It is!", Norman nodded, holding out the zippo's flame.

"Wow. Now that's what I call goddamn fucking woman, man!"

In turn, he lit his cigarette, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

"A 'goddamn fucking woman'...?"

Only Brian could talk that way, probably in his vocabulary was not a derogatory term, but he wasn't sure that Y/N would have found that flattering.

"Well, how would you call it? Did you see those lips? And these eyes! Let me tell you, I have known about women but one like that would make me forget them all! I just hope you did it!"

Norman frowned in shock but his friend couldn't be fooled.

"Stop it Brian! You say that just because Y/N reminds you of your Ex! How predictable... Get the woman out of your head once and for all, times have passed! And now you've changed your target, haven't you?"

He was referring to the man's girlfriend, Linsday, with whom he had been for some years now.

"Well I wouldn't say... By the way, where did you leave your C/N tonight? She's nice, I'm glad you're back together!"

Norman threw out a cloud of smoke, removing a bit of tobacco left between his lips.

"Together? She went away, she's only working together with me at the moment."

It was obvious, Brian was crazy about that kind of story.  
Norman cut him short, preferring to change the subject.

"She was kept on set..."

"Oh, what a pity... So you are single for tonight! And look over there... There is our witch!", Brian said and patted him on the shoulder, nodding at the theater hall, visible from the glass door.  
Norman watched her walk in a cloud of lace, which left nothing to the imagination. No, Brian was right: There weren't more women like that, he could well understand why his friend was so attracted to her. Despite not wanting to, Y/N kept that aura of a bad girl, to which however uncommon femininity and elegance were combined. The more he looked at her, the more he realized that it was the typical beauty suited to his friend Marilyn Manson, certainly not to him.  
They saw her unexpectedly deviate towards the corridor of the room. There was something strange about her, her way of walking and her somewhat confused expression.

"Norman, I have to talk to her, at the party tonight.", he heard the voice of his friend, but his attention was completely absorbed by what was happening inside the room; Y/N had just turned around the corner and Orlando appeared, following her at a fast pace, with a dark expression on his face.  
What were those two doing?

"Hey are you listening to me? Norman?"

"I... Yes... Brian yes, haven't I already introduced you? And then she's busy... She... Excuse me now, I'll see you in there, okay?"

He threw the cigarette away, without even turning it off and headed for where he had seen the two disappear.  
There was certainly something between them, otherwise why run away like that, right in the middle of such an event?  
He went down the stairs, finding himself in a living room with red and golden armchairs, probably the antechamber of what must have been near the toilets.  
And now what could he do? He had been a fool, probably they had only gone to the bathroom and this certainly didn't prove the existence of a clandestine relationship.  
The place seemed deserted, since all the guests were upstairs. Norman looked quickly in the mirror, resigning himself to enter the men's room, there at least he could see if Orlando was really in there or if he was hidden somewhere with the woman he adored.  
He went in, finding himself in one of the most luxurious bathrooms he had ever seen: Only the solid gold taps and the mirrors on the ceiling were missing and then it would have been the perfect set for a film.  
It didn't take long for him to realize that he was the only person in there and he naturally pricked up his ear to get the voices of the two in the next bathroom.  
He came out without a clue and it was only then that he recognized Orlando's voice coming from the women's bathroom.  
He entered without even thinking about it, oblivious to the fact that he could have surprised them in attitudes which were nothing short of equivocal and he remained motionless before the last scene, which he would never have expected to see.

"Okay... Ist it better now?", Orlando said and stood by the sink and turned his back to him, supporting Y/N, who had both wrists under cold water. It was clear what was happening, it was enough to look at the unnatural pallor of his face.

"What... What's going on? Are you okay?", Norman asked and both looked scared, not expecting to find him in there.

"Norman?"

He walked over, meeting her Y/E/C eyes and realizing that Y/N didn't want him there.

"How come?"

Orlando looked surprised. It was clear that not even he knew anything about her friend's pregnancy and that he had followed her only because he had noticed his illness.  
Norman suddenly felt guilty for doubting both. He noticed that Y/N was sweating, then he took off his scarf and bathed it in the cool water, before placing it on her bare neck.

"Here... Is it better this way?"

Hesaw her bow her head forward, with a sigh of relief barely perceptible.

"Can you explain what's going on? What does this mean?", Orlando asked, turned away and was now waiting for explanations, looking confused.

"Y/N is pregnant!"

Norman's voice was deliberately impassive, as if telling him something that was now in the public domain and that shouldn't have been surprising. In reality he had not the slightest idea of the reaction, which the woman would have had at this intrusion.

"Really?"

Orlando was looking for answers on the woman's face, while she only managed to nod, leaning with both hands on the edge of the sink.

"Well... But it's great! This is absolutely fantastic news! Congratulations!"

Y/N tried to sketch an unconvincing smile, in response to all that enthusiasm.

"I don't think she's so happy right now!", Norman growled, pushi g aside a strand of hair that had escaped and suppressed his instinct to hold her, seeing her unstable on her legs.  
"Breathe... Take deep breaths!"

Y/N tried to follow his advice, already feeling embarrassed enough to be in there, while wearing one of her most expensive clothes, next to two of the most wanted men on the planet.  
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she felt a new wave of nausea growing.

"Fuck..."  
That was all she could whisper, before rushing into one of the bathrooms. The two men stood motionless facing each other, not sure how to behave.  
It was Norman who stepped out to find her crouched on the ground in an attempt to recover, while Orlando finally took the situation in hand.

"Okay, now I'm going to get help."

They had been left alone in that bathroom with refined mosaics and expensive Majolica. Norman knelt beside her, handing her a towel, which Y/N took with trembling hands.

"No thank you, I'm fine."

"Sure... Don't lie to me.", he smiled, stroking her hair lightly, unable to take his eyes off her face.  
Y/N tried to avoid those eyes so blue and deep that they seemed to want to read her mind.

"I'm so damn sorry..."

"And for what?"

Norman couldn't believe his ears.

"Well for everything... For the scarf, for this scene."

"...And for having fainted on me, no?"

"Yeah... Also...", the woman said, rolling her eyes.

"Stop it! How can you apologize for such a thing? Rather you should try to stay home instead of being like an ambassador, don't you think?"

Y/N exhaled slowly, trying to regain control and a slight smile formed on her lips at those words; it was just the kind of thing her family would have told her.

"I know... But it's an important evening, perhaps the most important for me! And then at the beginning it only happened to me in the morning, I thought I could manage it... But now..."

"Now it's worse? What does the doctor tell you?"

"Yes, the Doc says it happens to many. I just have to wait for these first few months to pass."

"Come, I'll help you..."

He girded her around the waist, helping her to get up and walk her out.  
Y/N rinsed her mouth and face before looking up at her own image.

"Look, I am a disaster!"

She tried to adjust his slightly smeared rimmel as the man behind her watched her through the reflection of the mirror.

"You're perfect! On the contrary... If I were you I would be careful with that smudged trick, you've already made inroads into some mens hearts."

"Let me guess, it's Brian. He was the only one missing."

"Don't worry, I've already told him you're a busy woman! From what I could tell your boyfriend is a rather ... a jealous man ... right?"

Y/N remained motionless at those words, the handkerchief in midair. She had never mentioned it, but it was obvious that Norman thought of him as the father of his child.  
She had avoided looking him in the eye for all that time but now, perhaps for the first time, she felt the need to tell him everything: That was the right time, now that they were alone and there was no one else, no camera ready to immortalize them.  
She took courage in both hands and searched for the words, which she had repeated at least a hundred times in her head and which now seemed to have vanished.

"No... He... He is not..."

"No, wait..."

The man stopped her unexpectedly and she was forced to turn around, to look him straight in the eyes.

"I guess he is not here... And as much as I try I can't understand how it is possible... Howw can...?", Norman stopped sighing and instinctively put his hand to his hair, looking down.  
Why was it so hard to talk? It was a week since that thought continued to haunt him day and night, he could no longer even concentrate on his work, waiting for a sign, only one, to allow him to approach her and talk to her.  
Even though it was clear by now that it had nothing to do with it, he had to ask her, he had to know it from her if there was even a single possibility that the child was his.  
But how to do it without Y/N slipping away every time he tried to get closer? And above all how to deal with his Ex's return in his life?  
And now that they were finally there, alone facing each other, Norman didn't know where to start: Only two words would have been enough or she could only answer yes or no... Or maybe she might not answer at all, it would be enough to look into her eyes and all her doubts would finally disappear.  
From a certain point of view this was a legitimate question, since Y/N would have had betrayed her boyfriend with him.  
Yet they had been careful, the chances that they had conceived a child in that hotel room were practically non-existent, right?

"Norman...?"

Y/N's voice begged him to return to look at her. The man forced himself to continue.

"Okay listen, don't take it badly... I don't want you to misunderstand what I'm about to tell you... But I have been thinking for a long time and-...", she started again but was stopped abruptly, recognizing Orlando's voice.

"Y/N, darling, are you still in here ...?"

The man almost tiptoed into the toilet, followed by two other people. Suddenly another voice was heard when the door opened.

"Oh Norman, thank goodness I met Orlando! I no longer knew where to look for you..."

Norman couldn't believe his eyes: Orlando had just made his entrance behind and with him there was a known woman, a woman he knew too well.  
He tried to swallow so as not to be suffocated.  
What was she doing there at that hour? She was supposed to still be at work.  
He cast a fleeting glance over Y/N, who at the same time ran back into the bathroom, seized by a new attack of nausea, while his Ex-Girlfriend looked at him with a confused expression.

"What the hell is going on in here?"


	8. Chapter 7

"Hold on! I got a water for you!"

The young man handed her the glass, sitting next to her near the wall of the terrace.

"Thank you."

Y/N turned her gaze back to the view, while the light breeze of the ocean ruffled her hair, now loose on her shoulders. The long evening had ended, since Orlando had made sure that his friend was feeling better. Y/N actually really felt better now but had preferred to avoid the party and now she and Orlando were there, in that little corner of paradise, which they had discovered almost ten years earlier, during the filming of a movie they both filmed there. Both landed in Hollywood and both were so refractory to participating in that life of light and fiction. Somehow two complex souls could be heard, stubbornly closed, despite the success had tried in every way to eradicate them from their world.

"Don't look down, otherwise your head will  
spin again!", he joked, leaning slightly from the wall, towards the valley below.

"And you're a second away from falling down.", she scolded him, tugging him by the shirt.

"But I won't fall."

Orlando sat up with a leap, turning his back to the lights of the city and staring into the Y/E/C eyes of the woman, who now clutched at his suit jacket.

"So?", he addressed her, with that sly smile.

"So what?"

"He doesn't know, does he?"

Y/N remained silent, not sure of the meaning of those words.

"But of all the men... Norman Reedus? I mean, he was the last I ever imagined by your side... I didn't think you liked that kind of man!"

He was clearly trying to ease the tension but Y/N didn't have the courage to look at him. How could he understand everything, without even giving her the chance to talk? She now felt that the tears were rising to burn her eyes and she looked with her eyes towards the horizon, hoping that Orlando wouldn't notice it.

"Hey..."

Too late, she felt a grip on her shoulder and hid her face in her friend's embrace.

"I fucked up!"

"Why? Look, this is a beautiful thing!"

The reassuring and so sweet tone only had the effect of making her yield even more to emotion.

"No... Nothing about that is beautiful! I know he is with another woman and she is everywhere! And me instead? I can't even look him in the eye! You have no idea how difficult it is to see him every day and pretend to be his wife aka girlfriend on both sets... I'm doing everything wrong! I should have told him right away, every day it gets worse ... Look at me! I just throw up... I can't work, I can't sleep... I-..."

"Come here..."

Orlando held her tighter, stroking her hair; Y/N was a bit of a diva but also like a child, a very good friend, with whom he often found himself joking as if they had known each other since forever but when it came to entering that private sphere, it seemed that she began to fear her own physicality, yes she stiffened, raising that sort of armor that wasn't easy to break through. But now that she had lost all her confidence, that she was far from home right now, she needed someone close to her and her friend knew he was the only person who could understand her. The man smelled the sweet scent of her hair, before meeting her now completely make-up-free eyes.

"You don't have to be afraid of him... I mean, it's him, it's still Norman Reedus!"

Y/N sniffed, badly wiping the remains of the tears, which went down her cheeks.

"But I'm not afraid of him... Everything was so good between us! I don't even know what's happening to me... I'm afraid of myself, of this whole situation... Maybe I'm even afraid of this child and how it will change my life! I... I'm not even sure anymore if I really want it!", she answered and burst out crying again at the thought of the words she just said. She felt like a monster just for having thought such a horrible thing, but it was the truth, Y/N didn't feel ready to be a mother, she wasn't even sure she wanted to tie her life to that of another human being.

"I know... It's normal that you think so right now. It's only the first few months, you have to get used to it... You'll see that everything will become clear as soon as you see it... I don't even know how to explain it to you."

"For now there is no way you could explain it... I don't understand anything! I feel like I'm no longer safe in my own body... Or in my own head! Just look at me...", she said again while she wiped her red and swollen eyes.

The man smiled, handing her a new tissue.

"These are just the hormones my darling..."

Y/N couldn't hold back a laugh in tears.

"You can't go on like this, Y/N! You need someone... Tell Norman. Tell him, he must know... He is a good man, you know how he would never back down!"

Now he was serious, he absolutely had to convince her to abandon the fortress in which she had closed herself in. For her own good and also for that of Norman, he knew him enough and saw how he was in that bathroom. He wouldn't have told her but it was more his friend's behavior that made him understand the truth, certainly not that of Y/N, who barely looked him in the eye.

"Precisely because of this... Don't you understand? He would never back down and I don't know... I don't think I want him in my life just for his feelings of responsibility!"

"You're in love with him! Really Y/N! Come on... You fell in love with him, right?"

"What are you saying?"

"You want him to stay with you... For you, not for the baby! You said it."

" No... I didn't... I didn't say he had to be with me. I don't want him to feel forced to be around me, that's all!"

"And you think he would feel forced? That man can't wait to be present!"

Y/N shook her head decisively.

"And C/N? She can't wait too for him to be present in her life again."

"So the problem is his Ex? To be honest, he didn't seem so happy to see her tonight!", Orlando smiled at her, placing a hand on her shoulder to encourage her. He could only imagine how she felt at that moment.  
"Come on, stop it Y/N, these are just excuses. That woman can't even compete with a woman like you!"

"Right now it seems to me that I am not capable of doing anything!"

"Well I wouldn't say that... For sure you know how to cry.", he smile and squeezed her again in his arms, kissing her cheek and looking at the horizon.  
"You'll see that everything will be fine, I promise."

Yes, everything had to go well... Doesn't it?


	9. Author's Note

A/N: The next chapter will be a little bit longer and I could've split it into two parts but I think it's time to get more into the story itself...  
The first part will be described from the point of view of yourself, the reader, who certainly has a very different view from that of Norman in the other chapters...


	10. Chapter 8

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror with a critical eye.  
The clothes had to be reviewed day by day, it was impressive how much her body was starting to change. Her slim and slender figure had hidden the pregnancy for some time, but by now it was almost impossible to hide it anymore.  
Luckily her part of the job would have ended in a few days, so she could have go back to her home in New York or who knows.

"Perfect. Look here how well it falls... No doubt about it. You look beautiful.", her assistent said and Y/N smiled slightly.

"If you say so…"

"Oh but yes honey! This tells you one who has had four children and has dressed hundreds of pregnant women! Look here, you have blossomed!"

The expert hands of the old seamstress touched her shoulders; YN contemplated the long dress, which slipped softly, caressing her now so sensitive skin. The generous breast, had increased at least one size, while the rounded belly was visible just below the light fabric. Finally, the period of constant nausea, which prevented her from doing anything, was over.  
Now the work was progressing faster and although she felt more tired than before, she was getting used to the new rhythms and her new body.  
What she couldn't get used to was the presence of Norman's Ex, next to him.  
Sometimes in the morning, when she arrived on the set, with a glass full of coffee, she saw them emerge from the corridor; they looked so perfect, he with his complicit smile and her, so pretty, even at that hour that she looked like a doll. It looked like two best friends seemed to have returned, they couldn't stop looking at each other, caressing and teasing each other waiting for the next pause, which would bring them together again.

How could Y/N only think of telling him the truth now that he was probably back in love? How could she think of asking him something, to put him in front of the last thing he would ever want?  
After the night of the event, Norman no longer tried to talk to her, perhaps because he was too busy with the return of his old flame or perhaps inhibited by his evasive attitude.  
Y/N knew all too well that she would have to talk to both of them, after all they were a couple but she didn't want to do it, she didn't want to even talk to him to tell the truth.

Hilarie said everything so easy, for her that situation was nothing but a sign of destiny, which wanted them united for eternity.  
The good, romantic, beauty Hilarie, who continued to call her every other day. Hilarie and Jeffrey had understood immediately, hoping that Norman never became so perceptive.  
But no, there was no such danger, since all his attention was absorbed by his girlfriend.

That moment would come and Y/N knew that. She should have spoken clearly, she should have stopped hiding in the dressing rooms to avoid or nod when he asked her if she and Orlando would spend the weekend together.  
There would have been nothing romantic in that confession, Y/N already imagined having to face a whole practical and legal part of the question: They would have to discuss her decision to keep the child without consulting him, of her hypothetical involvement in the life of her child and probably of the paternity test, if Norman thought she was trying to frame him.  
But was that really what she wanted from him? Did she want Norman to be a part of her life?

As the weeks went by she was convincing herself that perhaps the best thing to do was to disappear, leave for New York or perhaps to Europe and start all over again.  
But it would have been so unfair to that child, that it wasn't even born and was already the center of so many problems.  
If only she had continued her story with her own Ex, if she hadn't left him immediately after the betrayal, perhaps now things would have been different and perhaps that child would now be his.  
He would have so much wanted a child with her, but instead Y/N had always been so reluctant to the idea of becoming a mother. Too complicated, too independent and too disorganized, to think that she could take responsibility for another human being for the rest of her life.  
Instead everything had taken a wrong turn, the story with that enterprising and romantic man was over, since the sense of guilt for what he had done, even prevented her from looking into his eyes.  
She had promised herself to forget everything, to throw herself into work as she had always done; would have examined all the proposals, choosing the most difficult and controversial role, as always. She would have committed body and soul to free herself through the new character, of all the emotions that tormented her.

But despite the opportunities that fell, the filming of The Walking Dead, which had kept her busy for many months, and despite the attentions of many beautiful and interesting men in the country, Y/N couldn't forget Norman's voice, his hands and every inch of his skin, his irresistible smell of tobacco and those deep blue eyes, from which it seemed impossible to detach, when she was home. Perhaps no one had ever made her feel that way in many years.  
Everything was so far now, she didn't follow the gossip, she didn't feel the desire to know what was going on in the private life of the famous Norman Reedus and above all, she avoided going out when she was in Georgia.

The months had passed and the call of her manager had arrived and with her, the proposal of a new role.  
Y/N had been waiting for that opportunity for more than a year and right now, it had been served on a silver tray. She had introduced herself to the auditions, knowing that she would find herself fighting with a number of more beautiful and certainly more suitable actresses, which led her to do better than all.  
She had not played the role, she had become the character.  
Norman had done the rest, indeed they had done it together; all the embarrassment had been conveyed in those few lines, which had been exchanged and no one could have remained insensitive to their improvisation, so fresh and amusing.  
The other part was his and so was the chance to see him again every day.  
Y/N couldn't tell if she was happy or just frightened at the idea of being so close to him again; she had never committed such madness, like that night at Jeffrey's house: She wasn't an enterprising woman from that point of view, in fact most of the time she felt terribly clumsy. But she had done it and Norman hadn't pulled back.  
Now all they could do was behave like adults, like the two professionals which they were and start studying their parts, trying to live that time in the best possible way.  
They both knew they were capable, liked each other, enjoyed themselves, they just had to discuss what had happened once and for all, to break the ice and start all over again. For that reason she had accepted his invitation to the evening, not that he particularly loved that kind of thing, but Norman had shown himself so nice towards her, surely a refusal would have been seen as a residue of some embarrassment on her part.

She had made the biggest mistake of his life.

She had watched him for a long time, in that charity evening next to his friends, she had seen him laugh, telling small anecdotes of the past and she had noticed the slight melancholy, with which he pronounced the name of his child. She had finally been kidnapped by the irresistible charm that he gave off while on stage.  
She had returned home even more confused, even more convinced that she had to stay away to avoid any kind of involvement; Y/N knew herself well, she knew that it was not easy to fall in love but she also knew how to recognize the symptoms when love appeared in her heart.  
She had gone to bed with an annoying ringing in her ears and confused images of the evening, which continued to torment her.

And then she opened the door...

The truth was that she hoped to find him there and wasn't sure it wasn't all a dream. But then another dream and another one had been added to that dream... They had spent two unforgettable days, feeling so close and complicit, almost as if they had known each other all their lives. A few times she had happened to open up with a man like that, feeling so at ease that she didn't have to hide herself. Norman was a bit older than her, he had other experiences, certainly a more complicated past but the feeling was that nothing bad could have happened, until they were locked inside that room.  
It wasn't just the magnetic charm, which seemed to emanate from every pore of his body, it was much more. She had never met a person more interesting and genuine than him: Norman put love and passion into anything, you could not fail to be fascinated by his hands, by his voice, by his way of looking at things with his eyes, in some ways still childish. It was as if his rough and imperfect voice couldn't hide, how beautiful his soul was and no one could remain immune from such a profound beauty.

She remembered when as a young girl she came home from school with her backpack on her back and remained attached to the TV, looking at a movie where he was in. Now that she thought about it, maybe she had always had a crush on him, but this she would never have told him.

The second night she didn't sleep a wink, thinking about what would happen: She would leave, she would return to her family, to her old life... They would have to wait a few weeks before starting to work together again and who knows, maybe then they could talk about it.  
Those few weeks that had separated them had been incredibly long, now that her Ex was gone, and that she was a free woman, she couldn't wait to see him again.  
She had tried to call him several times, making herself a fool before pushing the damn button. After all they hadn't made any promise and if she wanted, she could have called him.  
She had waited for the day of filming to start the day with a whole new anxiety, which made her stomach turn and which had soon turned out to be something far more important than a trivial state of mind: Y/N was still pregnant and she had no doubt about the identity of that child's father.  
The day of the shooting had arrived then too quickly, leaving it still full of unresolved questions.  
Should she have called him and asked him for a meeting before they started working, so she could make things clear?  
Should she have waited a few days to rediscover the old complicity?  
Surely they would have spent a lot of time together and perhaps it would have been easier to break the ice off the set.  
Then she arrived on set and the knot in her stomach rose to her throat when she saw him again next to to his Ex.  
What was she doing again in his life? She was supposed to have left him a long time ago!  
And so the meeting, which she had imagined thousands of times in her sleepless nights, turned out to be even worse than all her most catastrophic thoughts.  
Y/N felt as if a huge truck had just hit her and instead C/N seemed to come out of a work of art.  
Y/N just wanted her head to stop spinning, while his Ex kept telling her how happy she was to meet her and asked her if she wanted to join them for a dinner she couldn't eat.  
Y/N postponed her interview with Norman every day... And C/N... Well, for sure she didn't send anything away with that man.

The days had passed, turning into weeks and then months.  
At first she had decided to postpone her confession in order not to jeopardize the filming of the movie, but then everything had shifted because of her health problems, which had turned out to be more serious than she had expected.  
After fainting there was no way to hide the truth, the doctors were worried, her faithful assistants and her family also and she had to admit it, she was too. She felt terribly alone, she didn't know how long she could bear the weight of her decision.  
Norman was surprised by the news but didn't seem to suspect his involvement, continuing to be so damn cute and detached towards her.  
Who knows, maybe he didn't even remember the nights they spent together, now that he had found better things to take care of.  
Y/N didn't really know what the future held for her, she just wanted to get out of that place and put some distance between her and his blue eyes, which always left her paralyzed.  
She said again that she would talk to him, maybe before she left or maybe she would still wait, she would wait to see the same eyes again in those of her child, who would come into her life, like a gift.

"Okay, now pay attention!", the old seamstress said and helped her take off the dress, which would have been ready in less than half an hour.

"Hey, I was wondering if-..."

Norman suddenly stopped at the door.

"Oh... Excuse me!"

He withdrew, mortified, recognizing the figure reflected in the mirror opposite.

"Can't you even knock?"

Y/N grabbed the robe and covered herself, feeling safe at last, while the assistant looked out the door, with her usual annoyed look.

"What's up Norman?"

"I... Well nothing... Sorry, I didn't think you were-..."

"What's the matter with you? Looks like they knotted your tongue. Oh look here... Is it that why you came? Wait... Come in!"

The man looked at her hesitantly, he felt himself a perfect idiot, the image of that body had upset him and not a little.  
He held the handkerchief pressed to his bleeding hand, without even feeling the pain.  
Y/N went into the dressing room, while the assistant went in search of a first aid kit, she who was more reliable than any doctor.  
The blue cloth was abandoned on a chair nearby and the perfume, which he knew well, invaded the whole room. But there was no trace of Y/N anymore. She seemed to be particularly good at escaping him.

"Here. It will burn a little..."

He allowed himself to be medicated, gritting his teeth in pain and trying to respond sensibly to the woman's questions, which continued to observe him in that way, which he so hated and made him feel so vulnerable.

"Well, isn't your Girlfriend coming today?"

That's why he hated that look, it was always the premise to some digs.

"C/N! Her name is C/N... No, she went back to Las Vegas today.

"Okay."

They remained silent for a few moments, while she continued to heal his wound.  
Norman swallowed, making sure he didn't say anything. He did it on purpose.  
He and the old lady had worked together dozens of times, she was like a sort of putative mother, let's say he could even consider her a mother, who enjoyed sewing so many outfits for him.  
Finally he couldn't take it anymore and broke out.

"Okay what is it? Don't you like C/N?"

"Oh no... I wouldn't say that I don't like her...", she said and squeezed the bandage just enough to make him suppress a groan of pain.

"So?"

"Do you really like her that much?"

"Why can't you see it? I like her, yes!"

"Well, you see... I honestly didn't expect you to come back together after the last time..."

She left him free to go but he didn't move.

"Okay... But instead we got closer... What is it? Why does it always seem like you know something that I don't know? Come on, spit it out!"

The woman took off her glasses, rubbing her tired eyes.

"Oh I don't think it's something you don't know!"

"Come on..."

That woman always had to be so strange. Her half sentences could continue to buzz in his head for some days, without ever being able to find the solution to the problem. But it couldn't be otherwise, Norman liked that woman, in her he recognized the wisdom of old people, combined with that bit of extra sensitivity. She had always been a great counselor and a great shoulder to cry on but now it seemed like she was scolding him.

"I was just wondering if... If you like your Ex like you liked Miss Y/L/N...?"

Norman couldn't hold back a stunned expression.  
How the hell did she get to that conclusion, without ever having seen them together?  
He tried not to look too anxious and gave her an amused smile.

"Well... Of course Y/N is also a beautiful woman... But... What has she got to do with it now?"

"I saw the look of you before when you came in."

"So what? What's up with that? I just didn't expect to surprise her half naked, that's all!"

"As if you'd never seen her body already..."

Norman jumped up, almost wanting to run away from the woman's words.

"Hey... No! What are you saying? I don't-..."

"See? I meant in the movies... The movies Norman... But you've never been very good at hiding your bravado, haven't you?"

Here he had been discovered and he had done it all by himself.  
He squeezed his bandaged hand, feeling it throb.  
What did she expect him to say? Yes, he and Y/N had had an affair, it happened. They were adults and consenting, there would have been nothing wrong, if only the old seamstress hadn't kept looking at him that way.

"But you shouldn't worry... You didn't tell me..."

"Y/N?"

Y/N would never have confided that story to anyone, probably not even her to one of her family members.

"Not exactly... But now you know, being in here you understand more things than you can imagine... I see that girl every day for at least a couple of months, I see her body changing, her skin which looks almost transparent and her eyes, which become deep and restless every time your name is pronounced."

"Mine? What did she say to you?"

"Who? Y/N? Absolutely nothing! She doesn't talk about you! She talks about everything and nothing, she leaves everything mysterious and yet she is like an open book and if I know you well, that's exactly what you fell in love with!"

"In love? I'm not in love. I mean yes, I am, but with C/N. Y/N is nice but between us it could never work... And now it's a completely out of question, she is expecting a child from her partner."

"Finally, right here I wanted you."

The man froze, staring at the seamstress, who had returned sew on Y/N's dress.  
But who was that woman? A witch? His conscience?  
He swallowed hard, drawing a tone that was a little too much set.

"Well... But what does that mean?"

She continued her work, pulling out the pin, which she held between her lips, without even looking up to meet Norman's eyes.

"You know, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure everything has nothing to do with it at the same time. You're afraid of that girl for some reason..."

Norman opened his mouth to reply but the woman was faster than him.  
"You think this kinda thing has already happened to you and you don't want to fall back... It's understandable! But you know... Sometimes things happen even if we do everything to escape them and we can't cancel them. Now, I have no idea what happened between you and Miss Y/L/N and above all I don't know when this happened. However, I believe that if you are interested in half of what I see now, you should try to focus only on that and leave the rest for a moment."

"This thing...? What? Isn't it possible that you could speak clearly for once?"

"Clearer than that, son...!", she said and was looking at him from above her glasses: "Oh you actors are so good at pretending, that you end up forgetting how to be serious... Everyone is like that... In many years I've never seen one, who didn't like to complicate their lives."

But what was she saying? For a moment he thought she was delirious, maybe it was her old age, which maybe made her say everything that came to her mind.  
"Norman... Look her in the eyes!"

Look her in the eyes? But what did it mean? He looked into her eyes every day.

He was suddenly distracted from his thoughts. A loud noise followed by the screams of many people, startled him and forced him to follow the mass of people, who ran in the same direction.  
In front of his eyes was a confusing scenario: Smoke, rubble and a tangle of electric cables. A part of the set had collapsed under the weight of the lights, bringing with it the most expensive instrumentation.  
He was forced to cover his mouth with his sleeve so as not to breathe the smoke, trying to stop the people, who were rushing to watch the scene; the cry of security alarms were getting louder, the help would soon arrive.

"Is there anyone down there?", a voice asked, the voice of the security chief, came muffled into confusion.

"I think so! We have to get them out before everything breaks down! You have to evacuate the building, get everyone out of here!"

Norman stood still. A missing person in his mind was enough for a shiver to run through his whole body.  
Y/N. Was she down there?  
He had left her only a few minutes before and was now submerged by that mass of rubble.  
A wave of nausea caught him suddenly, forcing him to support himself on the shoulder of a lighting technician.

"Hey ist everything alright?"

"Yes... Yes, we have to go get them. We have to get the out of there!"

"Norman, don't-..."

He didn't have time to stop him, Norman was already in the dust, which was slowly settling. Many followed him, while in the distance the sirens of the firemen began to be heard.  
He saw some colleagues, who helped another actor out unscathed and a little farther on, there was the directors unmistakable red shirt and a strip of white dressing gown, which Norman had seen the woman wearing only a few moments before.

"Here they are! ... Y/N!", he shouted, still looking for her but was dominated by the huge figure in an uniform.

"Sir, stand aside and follow me, it's too dangerous."

"Norman go away! Everything will collapse!"

The lighting technicians mighty squeeze forced him to stand up, while the woman's groans came clear.  
He felt incredibly relieved that she was alive, but he was also terrified of seeing her suffer.  
Only a few minutes and the expert hands of the rescuers had released her, removing all possible sources of electricity and leaving room for the doctors, which arrived with the ambulances.

"Okay... Slowly now, bring the stretcher! What's her name?"

"Y/N... Y/N Y/L/N!", said the director in a trembling voice.

"Miss Y/L/N... Y/N, Y/N can you hear me? Look at me. Y/N!"

The woman seemed to have fainted, her pale face had been badly wounded at the temple but it couldn't have said if she had suffered fractures in the rest of her body.  
Norman followed each of the movements of the paramedics, who controlled the vital signs and were preparing to place her on the stretcher.  
Suddenly the old womans words came back to his mind and he felt like he was sucked into a huge vortex.  
He ran to the ambulances with a shocked look, which even struck the doctors.

"Wait... Please wait! She is pregnant. Y/N is pregnant for four... No, I think almost five months.", he said and his voice was firm and desperate at the same time.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am sure!", he replied in shock, but what questions were they asking?

The director nodded behind him, confirming his words.

"Come on then, warn the central, code red... We have to move!"

He made the act of following the stretcher but was blocked by the rude voice of the paramedic.

"You're... Aren't you Norman Reedus, the actor?"

Norman raised an eyebrow without answering, did he seriously want an autograph right now? It almost was like as if he had asked him if he was the doctor.

"Yes!", he answered, hesitating. What did it matter if he was an actor or the electrician?

"Excuse me but you can't get into the ambulance car. You can follow us with your own car. If you can, you should call her family. Call the husband, the father of the child."

The amazed look, that was painted on the man's face had to be similar to his own while he heard himself utter the next words...

"I-... That's me!"


	11. Chapter 9

Why had he done it? He had said it with a certainty and a low voice that he didn't even imagine he possessed.  
Now he stood there, standing in front of the window, looking at the sad panorama of the city and still trying to convince himself, that that answer was just a way to follow her to the hospital. Yet he was convinced that it was exactly that, what the old assistant tried to tell him in the dressing room.  
The electrician was sitting on a chair in the waiting room; he had already called Y/N's family and probably would have even called her partner. Perhaps it would have been better not to be found there when he arrived. What would her boyfriend have said if he found out that he had passed himself off as his child's father?  
What if it was all a misunderstanding? If he was simply wrong? Besides, Y/N had never tried to tell him such a thing, despite having had the opportunity every day.  
He put his hand in his hair, the electrician was beside him, handing him a glass of steaming coffee.

"So?", he asked him apprehensively.

"C/N will have to have an operation to fix his shoulder, he has a couple of cracked ribs and some bruises, but nothing serious. About Y/N I still know nothing..."

They remained silent next to each other, looking out.

"Did you really mean it before? When you said it's yours... Were you serious?"

Norman took a sip of his coffee before taking courage to answer.

"Maybe... I'm not sure..."

"How can't you be sure?"

"She didn't tell me anything... But it could be... In short, everything coincides. I tried to push this thought away for weeks but now..."

"Now what? Are you telling me it's only your guess? It seems to me a little bit strange, don't you think?”

The electrician, who had been following him for years on almost every set, realized he had been a little too brusque and tried to look more sympathetic.

"Okay, let's say you can be right, that the times coincide and that you and she had a relationship... Let's say at risk... Apart from the fact that you are no longer two little kids and you know how certain things work, I seriously doubt that Y/N wouldn't talk about it. I mean, you've been working together for such a long time now... But wait... So this happened before we started shooting?"

Norman just nodded, letting his eyes wander over the landscape.

"Yes... I know her... She would never have accepted to work in Here... Unless..."

"Unless you were involved too? But Norman, we're talking about something more important than work here. How could she keep such a thing from you? And then sorry... Doesn't she have an boyfriend?"

"I don't know, I have no idea! I've always thought so too... But have you ever seen this boyfriend? Where is he now?"  
He finally gave a questioning look at the man, who replied with a shrug.  
"There are too many things... Too many. How do you think a man leaves his partner alone at such a time? Don't you remember the first few months of filming?"

"Well yes... But what do we know? Y/N is a particular type, you know too that she does not like to put her affairs on the market. Just think how much it took you before deciding to talk about the baby!"

"Exactly..."

Norman chewed on his lips, before taking a deep sigh and deciding to talk again.

"Okay. The fact is that I feel it, okay? I know it matters little, but when I found myself there, it seemed so obvious! How did I not think about it before? I was so taken away by my own business..."

"Your Ex..."

"Yeah..."

He took another sip of coffee, forcing himself to drink it. He hadn't thought about the woman's part in that whole story. What would he tell her now?

"This waiting is killing me!", he said, finally moving away from the window and returning to scan the movements at the end of the corridor.

"Come on Norman. If things had gone wrong, they would have told us right away!"

Norman sighed again, looking at the cell phone vibrating in his hands. His Ex had already called him a couple of times but he didn't feel like answering her at that moment.

"Here you are! I arrived as soon as I heard it!"  
The familiar voice startled him; Orlando was almost running down the corridor with his unkempt curls and the face of someone who had just woken up.  
"But what happened? Where is she now?"

It was obvious he was referring to Y/N.  
Norman rubbed his eyes to avoid Y/N's friends gaze. He didn't want him to understand his torment and at the same time he felt that he absolutely needed to confide in him.  
Fortunately, it was the electrician who intervened first.

"We don't know anything yet, they brought her in a couple of hours ago but they won't tell us anything. She seems to have hit her head, maybe that's why they need so long, I don't know."

"And the baby?"

He wasn't talking to the electrician, he was addressing Norman directly and for a moment their eyes met.

"I don't know..."

The distressed expression on Norman's face made Orlando realize that there were no longer any secrets between them. His heart clenched to see him reduced in that state, his face seemed more hollowed, as if he had aged all at once. He put a hand on his shoulder, just as he had done only a few weeks before with Y/N, and he had the impression that Norman could break down under the weight of that gesture.

"You'll see that everything will be fine! Nothing will happen to her, I'm sure... You must have faith!"

"Faith? Faith in what?", He asked while a bitter smile formed on his lips.

"Faith in god... Or in life if you prefer!"

"And you believe that if there was a god, would he let all this happen? I maybe have already lost a child, whose existence I didn't even know until a few hours ago. Is this justice?"

He was getting angry but it was a completely normal reaction given the situation.

"No, I don't know..."

"And you knew it. I can't believe it! You knew it! But why? Why didn't you tell me? This is even more unfair!"

Orlando felt terribly guilty; he wanted to give him an answer that made him feel better but didn't have one.

"Because of fear Norman... Y/N was afraid! She was terrified of this pregnancy and of you..."

"Of me?"

"From the fact that you came back with your Ex, yes, but above all from the fact that you would have decided to take care of this child, driven only by your sense of responsibility."

Norman turned around to him with a confused look on his face.

"Yes I did! So what?"

"Exactly! You would have done it because you are like that. But she didn't want this from you, she didn't want to be the cause of problems between you and the woman you love. And she didn't want to tie you to her for duty."

Norman remained silent, observing the others at the other end of the room, while trying to work out Orlando's words. He knew everything from the start, he must have hated it every time he showed up around with his Ex.  
He pursed his lips, trying to control the emotion that was about to take over.

"We're talking about the past... As if it wasn't already there anymore."

"No Norman, don't even think about it. You must be strong now, you must be strong for her too. These haven't been easy months. Believe me, even if I had known before, I would have tried to reason with her."

"Sure, reason... Don't forget we're talking about Y/N Y/L/N!"

Orlando answered with a smile full of understanding.

"My Ex or not, I had a right to know! You can't imagine how many times I tried to talk to her, but you know how good she is when she wants to disappear!"

"Of course I know! Come on, don't tell me you never thought about it? I saw you the night of the gala in that bathroom... You knew it, you knew it perfectly and you didn't want to admit it even to yourself... Probably because of the same fear that Y/N has!"

Norman remained silent, reasoning about those words so full of truth.  
Orlando was right, if he really wanted to know, he would have insisted, he would have reached her in his hotel room as he had done in the past, he would have forced her to look him in the eye and to be honest. But instead he was terrified, since he had known about the woman's pregnancy, his first instinct had been to leave, to run away. Maybe he didn't want to get involved, maybe the idea of starting over, of getting back to that, it had seemed too big and he had instead preferred to concentrate. Or maybe he was just afraid that Y/N would prefer to stay with another man younger and more reliable than him, a better one to be by her side and to raise his baby.  
That's why the old womans words had been so important, they had made him understand that he was making the same mistake as Y/N, who was running away from herself first and foremost from her real desires.  
And now they were telling him that his son's mother was afraid of him, she was afraid to force him into a situation, which instead Norman already felt he wanted so much.  
Orlando looked at him almost mocking him, as if he had been the victim of a huge bluff.  
He felt himself a perfect idiot for not wanting to see beyond his nose, when everything was so obvious. He rubbed his face with both hands. That story was likely to drive him crazy.

"This is not possible..."

He heard his voice crack, without being able to control it and he instinctively clung to Orlando's gaze.

"What are they doing in there? Why do they need so long? If they had operated they would have told us, wouldn't they? Orlando tell me something please! I have a terrible fear. All I can think of is that it can't end like this. I have to talk to her as soon as possible and then-..."

Orlando's voice softened, trying to calm him.  
"I know Norman, I understand you."

"And the baby? Will it be okay?"

It didn't matter that Y/N hadn't given him confirmation, Norman felt he was the father of that child.

"I don't know... We can't know until the doctors tell us something. But now you try not to be discouraged, you must remain lucid Norman, because Y/N needs you now more than ever! She tried to be strong for too long and I know you're probably confused now, but try to understand what you feel for her and tell her!"

Norman quickly wiped his wet eyes.

"Thank you... I can understand why you are her best friend."

"I know she would have done the same for me... And even you would have done it."

"No, she would have taken you by the ear and would have forced you to speak immediately..."

They embraced, perhaps for the first time as two friends.


	12. Chapter 10

He entered without making a sound. The room was lit only by a small lamp, whose cold light made everything look even more sterile. Monitor beeps gave life to a rather monotonous and disturbing melody. Y/N had her eyes closed, she hadn't heard him enter, the endless series of cables, coming out from under the blue blankets.  
He decided to force himself and get closer, she was so pale he remembered one of her most successful stage tricks; her Y/H/C hair looked like a mane around her face covered with almost cuts, while the eyebrow was held together by a series of small stitches.  
He touched her hand which was resting on her belly and saw her wake up with a slight jolt.

"I'm sorry! It's me…", he whispered, with a reassuring smile.

The eyes that he found on him seemed at first as black as the night, the pupils so large as to give the impression of wanting to devour everything, and then they started to shrink in front of the light, letting the sea of an almost transparent Y/E/C emerge. "Look her in the eyes.", his assistant had told him just before the tragedy happened. And now that he was looking into those eyes he finally realized that everything that his lips should have said had already been told by that look, day after day, scene by scene.

"It's all right... You're fine, that's what really matters."

From the long black lashes a tear escaped her, hearing those words.

"I was stupid!"

Norman smiled, moved by her hoarse voice and her slight accent, which she struggled to suppress.

"Yes, you were a fool... And so was I! You should have talked to me immediately..."

"I know..."

"No, you don't know. I mean you should have talked to me right away, even before you found out about the child. You should have talked to me when you left, when we saw each other at the audition and you should have done it that night after the concert and all the other days. And I should have done it too. I should have told you that that night was not enough for me, I would have to admit to myself, that I was looking for you and I was afraid to do it and that, at the first opportunity I made sure you came back to me."

"It is... A little girl...", he heard her whisper, without even answering his words. Norman's expression turned serious, in front of the woman's excited look.

"Didn't you want to know? Here... My stupid mouth... I'm sorry!"

He was really mortified. How could he not have thought of it? He had never wanted to know the sex of his children before they came into the world but this time, the fear of losing her without even knowing anything about its existence, had been too much and he had ended up asking the Doctor, who had taken care of Y/N from the beginning of pregnancy, but never about that.

"No... It's fine. Everything is alright."

"At the last ultrasound they were not sure, it was too early and she was very good at hiding."

"Like her mother."

Y/N looked down, staring at her hand, still resting on the blanket. She felt guilty, she knew that this moment would be embarrassing but she certainly didn't imagine she would hear those things in a hospital room. She tried to find the words, which she had tried to prepare as a script for all those months, but now nothing came to her mind.

"Norman, I don't know... In fact, I know exactly what you'll think of me. I'm a coward... I didn't take my responsibilities for fear of facing you. I know you hate me, you have all the rights to do so. But I'm not the monster you think I am, I wanted to tell you from the beginning. I just didn't imagine you and your Ex-..."

"Hey... Hey I don't hate you. How could I hate you?"

He put his hand on hers, searching for her gaze insistently.  
He knew that this wasn't a movie scene, everything was harder in reality. Talking about feelings, about strong emotions like love, fear, became a thousand times more complicated. Y/N was confused, scared, maybe she wanted to run away from him, maybe she didn't want him next to her but he would have been there, because as Orlando had said, she needed him there.  
A few moments and the woman's hand slipped away from his grip; Norman saw her searching for her wounded temple, then withdrew it with a grimace of pain.

"Does your head still hurt? The doctors said that the hematoma will be reabsorbed in a short time. You'll see that you'll be able to get out of here soon. The director has decided that he will continue shooting even with his arm in a sling, but you will not need to shoot anything... I'll finish everything else and go to post production before the end of the month."

"Norman..."

He stopped abruptly. Was he so upset that he started talking about work?  
Y/N's expression made him understand that she wouldn't say the words he wanted to hear. He decided to go ahead to spit out everything he felt at that moment, all that he had repeated inside himself in the long hours spent in the waiting room.

"Listen, okay? I will speak clearly. I'm going to take my responsibilities. I want to be there, I want to stay close to you and I want to raise this child with you. I want to be with you.", he said and moved slightly closer to her, squeezing her hand again.  
She replied with a frown, as if there was something strange about what he had just said. Y/N spoke slowly, she seemed unable to perfectly control her voice.

"I know... You will be there. But I'm not the woman you think I am... Norman, I don't think I'm capable of it. I never thought of a child!"

"But what does that mean? What are you saying? Are... Are you trying to tell me you don't want to keep it...?"

Norman couldn't hide the fear in his eyes.

"No! That's not it. I have already made my choice. I didn't even think for a second of getting rid of it, I never thought of having an abortion, nor of giving her up for adoption, even when I was sure I couldn't give her a father. But now... Now you are here, you look at me with your eyes... And... And that expression so worried and you tell me you want to be present, well I... I don't know..."

"What don't you know?"

"I don't know if it's the right thing to do! You and I are not a couple... We can't become one for a wrong reason!"

"And this seems to you like a wrong reason?"

"Yes. We are two independent people... We both know. I want her to be born where I grew up and to grow up in a stable place, I want her to have roots and not to be tossed back and forth across the ocean."

"Is that the problem? I'll come to New York if that's where you want to live!", Norman asked panicking, he didn't understand what she was trying to tell him and now saw her giving him a slight smile.

"How long would you stay away from all this? You live for this. Your work, your friends... And C/N, we can't deal without her. How do you think she will take it?"

"I don't know... But come on, it has nothing to do with her! This is something that only concerns you and me. There have always been ups and downs between me and her, she has left me twice already... Probably she will do it again by the end of the month..."

Y/N once again put her hand to her temple, felt her head hurting and began to struggle to focus on the speech. Norman noticed it and stopped.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. But I don't want that Norman. You are in love with her... I have seen you several times in these past months and I can't... And we... We are so different. I am not willing to share you with another... I can't do it..."

The sentence remained halfway, Y/N suddenly closed her eyes, bringing both hands to her head. The pain had suddenly become stronger and prevented her from continuing.

"The... My head..."

Norman saw her eyes roll, while her body was suddenly shaken by convulsions. He searched desperately for the bell and called the nurse, trying to keep her still so she wouldn't fall out of bed.  
In less than a minute the whole room was full with doctors, busy around Y/N's bed, asking him to go out. He saw her only for a moment, as they hastily transported her to the lower floor for an emergency.  
He followed the stretcher with his eyes, until he saw it disappear behind the elevator doors, then leaning against the wall almost to support himself, his face turned towards the corridor wall, trying to hide his shining eyes.  
What was happening now? They said she would be fine.  
Y/N's last words continued to echo in his head. She wouldn't have shared him with another, so she preferred not to be with him at all.

And now that everything had fallen apart again, even the fear of not being able to love her, became insignificant in the face of the terror of losing her.


	13. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I got caught up in my insecurity receiving no signal from anyone here, I also felt a bit stupid to still publish it, seeing no criticism/positivity at all yet or if you even like the story. But it keeps me going to write since I see that some of you are still reading it.  
> You maybe also won't like the next chapter ... but you need it.
> 
> Kate.

"The head injury is more serious than it seemed at the beginning..."

"But how? Doc, you said that she was going to be okay. That the hematoma would be reabsorbed in a few weeks!", her mother said, sounding desperate.

Norman ran his hand over his face, without having the courage to look up at Y/N's parents, who had just arrived a few minutes ago.  
The Doctor intervened, looking at the colleague in difficulty.

"I know but it can happen in traumas like your daughters. We are witnessing an initial improvement, before the actual extent of the trauma is revealed at neurological level. There's a more serious hematoma than the one we had previously detected... This compresses a very delicate area and unfortunately there is the possibility that a hemorrhage may develop and the consequent increase in intracranial pressure could-..."

"Speak clearly, please!", Norman was bursting out, the Doctor's trailing words were only delaying the inevitable.

"There is a possibility that a surgery is needed, to avoid serious consequences..."

"How serious?"  
The uncertain voice was that of Y/N, who had regained consciousness after the attack a few hours before again. She now remembered absolutely nothing of the convulsions, much less of the subsequent examinations; she felt just terribly confused and that headache seemed unwilling to leave her.  
She saw the Doctor's face become even more serious. He was the most important neurosurgeon in that hospital, one of the most famous in the whole city, so if there was someone who could tell her how things really were, he was definitely that guy.

"It could lead to the loss of temporary knowledge or coma... If not worse!"

"Oh my God!"

Her mother was unable to stifle her exclamation, hiding her face with her hands.  
Y/N felt Norman's grip on her hand as she tried to voice her confused thoughts. Silence fell heavily into the room.

"So... Are you telling me that I have to put my baby's health at risk if... If I want to save myself?"

Norman narrowed his eyes, as if to erase that terrible image, he didn't want to listen, he didn't want to see that unfair verdict. He was afraid of Y/N's gaze, it seemed that the Y/E/C, once so clear, had now turned back into a deep black.

"The percentages of malformations and leukemia in cases of exposure to radiation of this entity turned out to be-..."

"Leukemia...?"

It was only a whisper, the one that came out of Y/N's trembling lips .  
The Doctor had taken up the word again and he didn't seem at ease either in front of his patient's scared look.

"Miss Y/L/N, we cannot hide from you the risks that could derive from a certain type of treatment. It is true, we have been forced to subject it to numerous tests, which in a minimum percentage have increased the incidence of these diseases but we had no other choice. I know what I told you, a total anesthesia is never recommended in this phase of pregnancy: It is time that we have the development of the nervous system and of the whole neurological apparatus of the child, but now we must evaluate the situation in his complex, so my colleague is here. The condition is serious, Y/N; the risk of loss of consciousness and even permanent brain damage is too high, compared to the potential damage to the fetus..."

"It's a little girl, Doctor. A little girl..."

The voice suddenly clear, made them all shut up. How could he talk about a fetus, just him, who was by her side for all those weeks?  
For her the choicees were closed, she would never have accepted such a thing.

"Y/N tries to reason. I know it is not easy to think of being able to hurt your child but if she refuses to undergo surgery, her life will still be at risk..."

The doctor's voice was like that of a mother, you could tell by how he participated to the pain of his patient.

"But she... She could survive a few more weeks, she could grow up before I let her be born..."

Her pleading gaze was directed at the Doctor, who was now scratching his unkempt beard with nervousness. He was feeling uncomfortable, he had never been in such a delicate situation, especially when faced with two superstars like these. That woman had been really unlucky, not only had he followed her from the first difficult weeks but now he found himself having to tell her that all the work, patience and effort of the first months could be thwarted in a second. He had children and could not even think about what he would do if they were born with some disease. After all he understood her, he had seen her change from a frightened woman to the idea of being pregnant, to a mother willing to do anything to protect her child. This was what he loved about his work, it was the very essence of life.  
He looked for the right words, he didn't want to be too abrupt and at the same time, he felt that he had to convince her to intervene for her own good, even before that of the child.

"Yes... Yes in theory it could. However, this would involve months of incubation, respiratory and heart problems could occur. Her organs are not yet quite developed..."

"But if we wait... In that case it would be less probable..."

She was trying in every way to attach herself to the man's dismayed expression.  
The Doctor tried to show off a firmness that he felt instead to waver from minute to minute.

"If we continue to wait, we would be forced to monitor the situation on a daily basis, by subjecting it to high amounts of radiation it's still too dangerous for the child... It's a too big risk. Y/N you understand?"

The Doctor had put an end to her hopes with those harsh words, which penetrated Norman's flesh like a stab. He swallowed and closed his eyes, hoping it was just a horrible nightmare but when he opened them again there were still the white coats and the serious expressions, the sobs of her mother, who remained clinging to the bed and Y/N's pale face, with those eyes so big and scared.

"No Y/N..."

Her mother knew how to read her mind, knew her better than anyone else and knew that she had already decided. She would have risked dying, in order not to do that operation and to save the baby.

Norman touched her shoulder, moving closer to her.  
"Please...", he whispered to her with half-closed eyes, hoping that she understood how much that decision concerned him too. She was so tired and confused, yet her eyes didn't lie, she had already made her decision, knowing well, like everyone else in that room, that she would decide her destiny.  
"Y/N!"

She finally looked him in the eye and stammered.  
"I... I need to think... I have to... Please give me a moment."

The room emptied silently, and Y/N found herself thinking. Only the two of them remained, feeling destroyed and terrified.

"Do the surgery!", Norman urged her immediately, his voice sounded more like a plea than an order. His gaze brought tears to her eyes; now that her mother had gone out, she didn't have to force herself to look strong for her.

"It is not said that it is necessary... The doctor said that it is only a possibility!"

A sad smile was painted on the man's face; he was touched by how she wanted to lie to herself, to keep away the fear.

"No... Y/N could die! You must do it! You heard what they said, you can't wait. You'll fall into a coma, is this what you want? And the little girl... Even if you sacrifice yourself and let her be born in a month, you would risk the same. I would lose you both!"

He was about to cry, he had stayed strong so long but now he wouldn't have succeeded holding back the tears.  
Y/N closed her eyes, biting her lips. On her face was visible the internal struggle, which she was having.

"She may not have to be born immediately... I could succeed in completing the pregnancy, there is a pharmacological coma... I read it, I read that a woman-..."

"What are you talking about? You can't really think of such a thing! And even if she'll be born healthy, it would be too late for you! What would you do?", he said and realized he had raised his voice with anguish.

"Precisely because I am her mother! How can you not understand? How could I live with this terrible weight on me? If she was born with problems... How could I continue to live? I can't Norman... Try to understand, what you're asking me is... It's too much! And then you are there... You said you will be... You'll will see her grow up, she will, she will be happy. And my mother... She will treat her like a daughter... She is a very good mother..."

Tears were now running down her face without her being able to hold them back.  
Norman couldn't believe his ears, he kept staring at her without being able to take his eyes off her face. The knowledge that the decision had already been made and that he had no chance of doing anything, made him feel lost. He rose from his chair, moving away from the bed and starting to measure the room with long and nervous steps.

"No... No Y/N, don't do it. That's crazy! You can't do this to me... No... There will be a way! There must be a fucking way... It can't be like this!"

He was upset and felt that despair was turning into anger. He was angry with her, even though he knew she had no fault and that what she was doing was the same thing he would have done in her place.

"Calm down... Hey? Come here!"

That now so calm voice, with the slightly drawling vowels typical of his little accent, made him stop. Norman approached the bed again, holding the hand that the woman held out to him, giving him a tired smile.

"Everything will be fine... She will be a lucky child to have a father like you!"

Norman squeezed that cold hand in his, bringing it to his lips, while the tears had begun to burn his eyes again.  


"I told you to operate!"

His screams echoed down the corridor.

"Mr. Reedus please... The patient was very clear about what she wants."

The Doctor's expression was confused and mortified. Y/N's body had held up a few hours, even less than expected, and had lost consciousness after a second attack. Her condition remained stationary but it was clear that without intervention, only a miracle could make her wake up.  
Norman face was like a mask, the dusty suit, with which he had arrived that morning, was now unrecognizable, a veil of a shadow beard covered his face and his blue eyes, gave him that scruffy look, which his fans loved so much. There was a rag, the news of the woman's condition had caught him unprepared.  
His faithful bodyguard, had not left him for a moment and had ensured that his closest colleagues and friends had alternated along the corridors or called him without a receive reply. Y/N's mother was asleep in an armchair when the doctors announced the bad news.

"She hadn't signed anything yet!"

He was beside himself, what were they waiting for to take her to the operating room? Both would die, didn't they understand?

"No, but she expressed her will verbally and even wanting to proceed, in these cases we need the signature of a family member!"

The doctor's eyes suggested that he was now afraid to take a punch in the face, from that man who was feeling destroyed and lost.

"So? I am the father of the child, won't my will count!"

The silence that he obtained as an answer was quite exhaustive.

"I'll sign it!", the mother's voice came like a breath of wind to their ears. They both turned around to her, unable to comprehend what she was saying. She was taking responsibility for the intervention, which would decide the fate of her daughter.

"Okay... Okay come with me. Do you have your documents?"

They walked away like ghosts along the deserted corridor and maybe even with a new hope in their hearts.


	14. Chapter 12

"Y/N don't run... Y/N! Wait for me!", her mother shouted.

The clear water seemed to call her and her feet couldn't wait to touch the foam of the waves, which broke on the beach.

"We have to get back before dinner!"

"Come on!"

She narrowed her eyes, shielding her face from the sunlight, which was falling over the water.

"Y/N come back... I don't want to. Y/N!"

She turned her back to the sea and the light of the sunset.  
"Okay... If I must, then let's go home!"

It was an incredible effort to retrace the steps along that beach; her bare feet sank into the fine sand. As she proceeded she heard an unknown voice calling her name, becoming more and more clear, while the cold crept into every part of her body.

"Y/N!"

Her mother was crying right in front of her, while she was unable to say a word.

"Can you hear me? Y/N! Squeeze my hand if you understand what I say!"

Of course she understood, she was practically screaming in her ears.  
She tried to squeeze her hand as she asked for that insistent voice but this involved too much effort. She tried to open her eyes again and to focus on the confused images in front of her, when a violent light suddenly struck her, forcing her to tighten them again.  
She felt dizzy and couldn't distinguish all those voices, which seemed to scream her name. Where was she? Surely there was no beach behind her. Why was her mother crying?  
She felt how her eyes were focused on her, even before turning around and recognizing them right next to her. He saw it, a moved smile and swollen, red eyes from crying.  
She tried to speak but from her mouth nothing came out but an unrecognizable lament.

"Don't strain yourself, don't talk now! Here, you must be thirsty...", she silenced her, wetting her dry lips with a wet handkerchief, to get some water.  
Y/N followed her movements with gratitude, it was as if only the two of them were in the room.

"Everything went fine! Everything's fine..."

She was so confused, she didn't recognize any of those people except her mother, who seemed so broken.  
He focused on her eyes, she looked horrible, she who was always so impeccable.

"Mom... You..."

She saw her smile in tears for those utterly unexpected words.

"Yes..."

Y/N's mother wiped her eyes, trying not to be overcome by emotion in hearing her daughter's voice. She glanced at Norman, who nodded to encourage her to continue: It wouldn't be easy to tell her that they had completely ignored her request not to operate on her. Y/N would have been angry, she probably would have ended up getting upset and it was the last thing they wanted at that moment; for that reason the Doctors were present.  
It was one of them who intervened, checking the patient's pupils again.

"Can you understand me?"

Y/N nodded slightly.

"Is something wrong Doctor?"

Norman's worried voice overwhelmed that of the other Doctors, who had begun to chatter among themselves perplexed. It didn't look like they were quiet and that didn't make him feel comfortable either.

"No... I don't think so. We will have to wait for the next few hours to see how the brain reacts to the intervention. The hematoma has been completely removed, the pressure has returned to normal levels..."

"What did they still want?", Y/N thought. She just wanted to sleep, she wanted to go back to that beach with her mother in her dream.  
She opened her eyes again with difficulty and found herself again a few centimeters away from that magnetic and familiar look. There was something about that man, in his hands and in the marked features of his face, which reminded her of someone. She couldn't say who he was and yet he was right there, in a corner of her brain, ready to pop out.  
The man in the white coat was still talking to him, sure that he would follow him, so she tried to concentrate and managed to steal only the last words.

"Do you recognize me? Do you know who I am? I know it's hard but try to talk..."

She tried it, starting to feel the attention of too many people looking at her and it made her panic.  
Why did he continue to insist? She would ask him to leave, those words pounded in her head, which had started to hurt more and more.  
But at one point he was the man with those beautiful eyes to speak, always holding her hand in his.

"Y/N, don't worry... Try to stay calm. Do you recognize me? It's me, it's Norman!"

She remained a moment to get lost in those eyes, studying the design of his lips.  
Norman... Well of course Norman. Now that she thought of it, it was him. But what was he doing there?  
She looked away from the other side of the bed, looking for an answer in her mother's appalled expression.

"The famous actor?"

It was such a naive and direct question, that Norman almost had the instinct to burst out laughing. But there was nothing to laugh about. Y/N didn't seem to remember him, she was absolutely surprised to find herself face to face with what she considered a famous actor.  
He and the Doctor exchanged a worried look. Why was this happening?  
Y/N's big eyes looked at him with curiosity and perhaps a little embarrassment.

"Yes... The actor...", Norman answered her with a whisper, closing his eyes.

"Don't be worried, we will have to wait a few hours to get a clearer picture. Her brain has suffered a severe trauma, it is likely to be just a passing amnesia. Now she needs to rest a little."

Y/N looked back at Norman incredulously, before finally closing her eyes. She was too exhausted to think, the ringing in her head was so annoying and she felt nausea rising with every little movement.  
Now she just had to rest and think about her child...  
Suddenly the fog began to get clear in her mind. The child...  
She couldn't even hear the Doctor's words, all she could think of was that she had to know how her baby was and what happened.  
Her eyes widened again, now scared and everything became clear: Her mother, the Doctors and Norman.  
It wasn't Norman the actor, it was Norman the colleague, Norman the friend, Norman the father of her daughter.  
What had they done to her? She raised her hand slowly, barely touching the large patch on her head.

"No, don't touch it again. Don't worry, the scar will barely be seen. They had to shave your hair lightly but I'm sure nobody will notice. The headache and confusion will disappear within a few days, but a rehabilitation for this kind of trauma will have to follow. As I said to your family, there may be episodes of nausea and dizziness or even short personality changes, in which case we will proceed with a suitable therapy... The important thing is that everything went well, we really feared losing you."

So they had operated on her. Although she had repeatedly said that she would not allow it, they had done it anyway. She didn't even know how she felt at that moment: Betrayed, angry, happy, but also disappointed. She now brought a hand to her belly just visible under the covers.  
Norman recognized the fear in her eyes.

"Hey... Y/N you don't have to worry, the baby is fine!"

"Yes Y/N, I monitored the situation for the duration of the intervention and the child was not affected by anesthesia. Her values remained stable, we can be satisfied."

Y/N recognized the reassuring face of the Doctor and felt tears rising as the pain in her head grew.

"No... You don't know... Nobody knows!"  
Finally the words had come out and were full of resentment.

"You don't have to worry about this, the radiations to which it has been subjected did not have such an intensity as to constitute a real risk for the fetus. And they were absolutely necessary to allow its survival. Believe me, we have worked in the best way; your condition had plummeted, not even the child would have made it."

The woman's face was pale at those words.

"Y/N... It's my fault! Please forgive me but I couldn't lose you, I wouldn't have survived without you..."

Her mother sounded so destroyed by remorse, she knew it could happen but how could she make a different decision than that?  
She and Y/N had never been the mother-daughter thing, united by a bond so strong as to make them a unique person. They had always lived separate lives, they had different interests, they even lived in different states. Her mother had always been a woman so sunny and extroverted, always ready to have fun and enjoy life, while Y/N was the classic 'nerd' of the class, the one who did not like going out, had never entered a disco and preferred to stay at home to play an instrument. Even now, years later, no one would have suspected that they were mother and daughter. Yet her mother hadn't hesitated for a moment and had flown to the other state as soon as she heard the news.  
Y/N could read in those familiar eyes, and now more than ever she had the feeling that that connection had always been there, despite the conflicts, despite the distance and the different visions of life.  
Her mother had always decided for her life, yet no matter how hard she tried, Y/N couldn't take it out on her, because deep down she knew she would do the same to save her.

"It was the only thing to do... You'll see that the baby will be fine.", Norman said and his deep voice distracted her from those thoughts, forcing her to turn back to him.  
"You understood me? Look at me... Y/N? It's me..."

Yes she was back, his Y/N was back and she looked at him with a dreamy expression, which he couldn't decipher.

"I insisted, it's not your mother's fault. She only signed! It was me who decided, I couldn't lose you, not now! So if you have to take it out on someone, then it is me."

He waited for her answer but got nothing but a lost look.

"Doctor... Can't we... Can't we see her?"

The words had come out so abruptly, he knew that the only thing that could have reassured the woman slightly and him, too, was seeing the images of their little girl.

"Of course... I'll go to get the ultrasound. But I have to ask the others to go out."

Her mother left the room, followed by the Doctors and the nurses.  
Norman concentrated again on the pale face in front of him. He helped her drink a few sips of water before the Doctor returned with the equipment.

"Here we are... You already know how it works, don't you?"

Y/N nodded silently, while the nurse moved the covers and helped her discover her belly, while Norman was suddenly assaulted by incredible nervousness.  
"It's been a while since the last time..."  
And now Norman felt an increasingly tight knot in his stomach, just like it was the first time.

Y/N looked at him, holding out her hand and immediately felt reassured by that contact. Did she mean she had forgiven him? She wanted to say that she was happy to be able to continue living that moment, despite the many worries for the future. But that was part of the whole package, they would have become parents and that meant it would never be quiet in their life again, they wouldn't sleep without thoughts for the rest of their lifes. And he knew this already. As soon as the images made their appearance on the monitor and the Doctor began to indicate the head, the spine and those tiny little hands, he felt that the tears were threatening to get out.

"Hey...", Y/N smiled sweetly, realizing his reaction.

"Sorry... I don't-..."

"Don't worry Mr. Reedus, it's absolutely normal. I see so many every day and despite this, at my son's last ultrasound I couldn't even help myself."

Norman smiled sheepishly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  
The Doctor pushed a button on the computer and the whole room was invaded by the pounding sound of the little heart.  
Norman gasped, he didn't remember how fast it was.  
Tears of emotion, which he saw on the woman's face, left him speechless. There was nothing more beautiful in the world. Nothing more important for which it was worth living.  
He had made the right decision, they would have raised that child in any case, it was too much of love they already felt for her.  
The Doctor now turned off the monitor, helping the patient dry the gel.

"Okay, now I'll leave you alone, I guess you have a lot of things to talk about!"

They waited in silence for the door to close before meeting eyes again, exactly as they had done hundreds of times on the set.  
It was really happening, those twenty-four hours had completely changed their lives. Norman felt as if they had catapulted him into a parallel reality.

"You'll see that she'll be fine!", he told her, trying to reassure himself too.

"What if it won't be like this?"

He squeezed her hand in his, squinting.  
"Many things can happen, many children are born healthy and some inexplicably sick. We will do anything and I am sure she will be a healthy and beautiful child.", he said and kissed her pale hand.

"I just want you to know... Never do that again, do you understand me? I was so scared while you were in there!"

It was the truth, the pure truth and Y/N could read it so clearly in the tired look of the man, that she felt a small part melt inside her.  
She had tried to appear strong even in the most dramatic moments, it was her nature, her eternal armor and instead that man's eyes and the small wrinkles that rippled around them every time he smiled, made her feel that she could do it, she could abandon herself, she could stop resisting and show her most fragile parts.  
Without taking her eyes off his, it was she who returned his grip and touched his hand with a kiss.  
She wouldn't have left him alone, wouldn't she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here I am again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter a little bit more. I tried to be as good as possible to the medical reality, but I only got the information out of the internet so I can't guarantee its accuracy. Thank you as always to anyone who is still reading.
> 
> \- Kate


	15. Chapter 13

It had taken less than twenty-four hours for the news of the accident to go around the world.  
It was to be expected, everything about Norman always became a media case. What no one expected was instead that the leak could create such a delirium in front of the hospital.  
Norman had remained inside those walls, in total isolation and once the fear for Y/N had passed, he found himself facing a situation that was nothing short of surreal: Hordes of journalists crowded in every corner were waiting to snatch his image, while crazy fans were still convinced that even their idol had fallen victim to the collapse.  
He found himself stuck inside the hospital lobby, waiting for the other security guys to give him the go-ahead to go out, escorting him to the car that he would find in front of the secondary exit.  
All the hospital staff were in turmoil over this diversion and the worst thing was that the patients' attention was suddenly catalyzed on him.  
He hated that sort of thing, he hated feeling himself a prisoner of his own popularity and having to worry about every move. But above all he hated that the people he loved most were involved: Norman was perfectly aware, that if he hadn't been present, the press would probably have left Y/N and her family in peace, respecting such a delicate moment. And instead the woman's friends and relatives were forced to shake hands, while her room was guarded all the time, the shutters lowered and authorized personnel reduced to a minimum.  
The woman's father had left their home as soon as he had known and would have arrived at any moment, while the last thing Norman wanted at that moment was to find himself in front of the her father amid the flashes of the press .  
He looked around, seeing some girls sitting in the hospital lobby, photographing him with their mobile phones. He lowered his head and listened absently to the words, that his bodyguard was shouting.  
His manager also had worked tirelessly to re-establish a semblance of a media order, trying to make official statements that did not compromise the figure of the actor.  
No one knew exactly what had happened, but surely something big had to be missed about the true nature of the actress's shelter.

He now prepared to come out into the open: It was a bit like entering the scene or perhaps more like hurling himself into the lion's den. He put on his ordinance mask, hoping that the sunglasses would hide the heavy marks of tears and the sleepless night. He tried to look straight ahead without listening to the hysterical screams of the fans and the more ungraceful ones of the photographers.  
He seemed to be transported by a very strong current, while the boys in dark suits escorted him quickly, taking him safely to the black SUV.  
The familiar scent that struck him left him stunned.

"What a nice mess!"

His manager's dry voice stung him like an insect.

"Yes thanks, I'm fine! And you?", he replied sarcastically, without having the courage to look her in the eye.  
For some strange reason he had always feared the judgment of that woman. He adored her, esteemed her, worshiped her most of the time, but knew how to be so terribly cynical in situations like that.

"Call your boy...", she said dryly, handing him a second cell phone.

"Shit!"

He had completely forgotten to call his son.  
After chatting with Orlando, he had decided to wait until morning back home as not to alarm them unnecessarily. After all, it was just a purely selfish need for him: He needed to know that his son was well, just when he had learned, that he was in danger of losing another. Then things had changed quickly with Y/N's awakening and the following operation, everything had taken an unexpected turn and the hours had passed, without him noticing.  
He dialed the number, lingering on the tanned profile of the woman sitting next to him. How many times he had talked to him in front of her, how many times he had done it even in situations that were nothing short of embarrassing. Yet now it was so different, it was as if everything had exploded, his world, his relationships, his life. Now all that seemed reduced to a thousand pieces and he wasn't sure where to start, to try to put them back together.  
He spoke quickly with his Ex-Wife, reassuring her of his own conditions and promising that he would call her again as soon as he got home; then he let his son know, feeling immediately relieved.

"Well... And now read this!"

His manager didn't even waited for him to hang up and handed him the tablet, on which it was already possible to read the latest news and various comments of the ether.  
He quickly scanned the words of the article, without saying a word.

"Okay...", Norman finally said, taking off his sunglasses and looking out the window.

"Okay? Fuck it, Norman! Did you read what they wrote? It was to be expected! The news of the pregnancy had been going on for quite some time, but that girl is much better than you to keep her business to herself!"

"Yes, I know..."

What did she expect him to say? Yes he didn't care what people said about his life, the only thing he cared about was that they didn't bother his family.

"We must deny it immediately. In fact you will have to do it! They can't really think you're the father. Norman that is absurd! Do you realize the scandal? Right now that the story with C/N is official again... Give me her agent's number... Just tell me the name, I'll take care of tracking it down!"

The man's silence was so eloquent, that she had to refrain from getting out of the car. She looked at him shocked with those two eyes as transparent as water.

"No. Telll me it's not true! Tell me that's not what I think!"

Norman answered her gaze, searching for the right words but couldn't find them.

"No! You can't be serious! Not you and Y/N..."

She lit another cigarette, despite having just thrown the previous one out.

"Shit! An accident happens and one learns that not only the protagonist of your film is seriously injured but that she is expecting a child from the other actor! But how can you... I wonder how you could be so stupid? You are an adult, you should know how to avoid certain things! And then not with any one, no! You're fucking around with Y/N Y/L/N! Are you crazy? Oh God... I'll have a panic attack!"

He saw her open the window slightly, throwing the cigarette out she just lit.  
He had never seen her so beside herself, she's always so composed and controlled. Something made him guess that maybe he wasn't just talking about what that news meant for his image.

"Listen, try to calm yourself. Enough already happened in there believe me and yes... I know how certain things work... How to avoid them and how to behave with famous colleagues, I don't need you to tell me them. But now how can you think I am interested in all this?"

"Oh I think you should care instead... Do you know the repercussions this will have on the film? On your Ex... Have you thought about your son? At least tell me how long this story is going on! How long have you and that woman-..."

"Hey! It's not like you think it is! Y/N and I didn't have a relationship... We didn't think it would happen... I found out about her pregnancy just a few days ago!"

Her drawn smile made him realize that she didn't believe him.

"Oh come on... Now you want me to believe that you both had sex and you didn't think it was yours? Did you not notice anything? I even doubt that Miss Y/L/N took the opportunity to get the biggest fish in the pond."

"Okay, I can't say I didn't think about it... I tried to talk to her but what should I do? I was convinced she had a boyfriend for years."

"If I had asked myself, I would have told you right away. Now what are you going to do? We can't pretend anything, the tabloids will talk. My God... Right now that new photos came out with with C/N! Do you have any idea how that girl will take it? She's out of her mind... I wouldn't even be surprised if she paid a visit to Y/N right now."  
Norman immediately felt more uncomfortable on that leather seat.  
"If at least you said it immediately! It would have been a great advertisement for the film... But now..."

"The what? The movie? Who cares about the movie! Can't you understand that she was going to die? I would've lost both of them!"

His manager seemed struck by his words and the expression on his face; she remained silent for a few moments, watching him absorbed.

"So are we really at this point now? Do you really want me to believe, that you're expecting a baby from your, I don't even know what to call it, affair? And you're suddenly falling in love like a little boy?"

"Oh, stop it, what are you saying?"

"No, what are you saying! Do you realize how ridiculous this story is? Not even the director could have written a more unlikely plot. Now it turns out you love Y/N Y/LN desperately, after years of denying any involvement with her. And I'm not talking about the press now!"

She tried to provoke him but there was something about her attitude, which made him realize how hurt she was.

"Why is it so hard to believe me according to you?", he said and immediately regretted having uttered those words.  
her eyes darkened but her tone remained firm.

"Because I know you. There was your Ex-Wife, then C/N and now Y/N is nothing but yet another crush. But we're not on the set... How do you plan on getting out of this whole situation?"

"I have no intention of getting out of it!"

His manager focused on her hands, fiddling with the ring on her finger.  
The man noticed it and understood what she was trying to tell him by hiding behind the usual facade of the work.  
She too had been one of those women in some way. They had been friends; she had been close to him, she had tolerated his escapades, the long relationship with the mother of his son without ever abandoning him. She had been a real friend, a traveling companion, a sort of sister to come back to whenever he felt lost but now even she realized that everything was changing. Norman had lost his mind over the next diva, which not only seduced him, but managed to trap him with the most powerful weapon at his disposal.

"Listen to me, try to understand. I'm still confused, I didn't expect all this to happen and we're still not sure that everything will go the right way... But I don't want you to make any statement yet, okay? The thing must remain between me and Y/N. There are already so many problems, I don't want to create one that doesn't exist."

"The press exists...!"

"I want to do things in the least traumatic way possible. I'll talk to my Ex-Wife and Mingus before making any public statements. Denying it would be useless, telling lies about a story that is not there, as well. I want Y/N to decide, I put her in an even more difficult position than I should."

"Oh yeah sure... Our poor, lovely Y/N!"

She was angry, furious or maybe just jealous.

"Okay, do you want to know if I really like her or if I'm just blinded by the news? Or do you want to know if I just need to feel young? It's strange you know... Even Y/N told me the same things. It is already a very complicated situation. I just want to take one step at a time and make the right decisions for our little girl."

"A female... How perfect...", she said and opened her arms in a resigned gesture, as if that were the cherry on the cake.

"It doesn't matter whether it is a female or a male. What the hell are you saying? Want to know if I like Y/N? Well, from the first moment I met her a few years ago... And do you want to know if I was impressed? Enough to watch all her films and take her with me on the screen of The Walking Dead. And if by chance you want to know if I've done everything to take her to bed just to make her my trophy... Well no, I'll have to disappoint you... Things didn't go this way. Y/N... She is different..."

"Yes of course... Why does love have to do this to you? I never thought I'd say it but your Ex-Wife was always right."

"Actually she has always said that it was me who lost my head for Y/N. Nothing suggested that she had the slightest interest in me and it needed a long time before something happened. And anyway it still is over between me and my Ex-Wife!"

"And me? You have always taken me for granted, you probably think that everything will continue as always between us... Now you will have another beautiful girl and then when you feel alone under the sun of Georgia or God knows where, there will always be me, your sister... Like I never say no, isn't that so!", she said and closed her eyes, as if to force herself not to go on; she didn't like being seen vulnerable in front of him.

Norman approached, forcing her to look him in the eyes.  
"Please don't say that... I never thought of using you, you know that! You know what's between you and me. What it always was! You were always my sister."

"And will I still be? Do you think we can continue like this?"

Norman was forced to look away, he knew the answer and he didn't have the courage to tell it to her.

"Yeah... I knew it... Well then, be careful Norman, you will be seriously burned this time! And I won't be there picking up the pieces!"

Norman looked out the window how she left, feeling he had just lost one of the most important parts of his life.


	16. Chapter 14

"Don't even mention it!"

"Why? I've already talked to the Doctor about it and she said that there will be no problems!", Y/N said and leaned out of the bathroom door, pulling out her defiant look that sometimes made her look a bit crazy.

"I told you no! I'm not comfortable knowing you are on a plane. Do you know how many hours long the flight will be?"

Norman followed her, leaning his head inside the bathroom and saw her spit out the toothpaste in the sink.

"We both know it. We've done it a lot of times!"

"Yes, but you've never been pregnant for almost nine months. It's a useless risk!"

Y/N rinsed her mouth and gave him a seemingly absent-minded look through the mirror in front of her.  
Despite seeing him every day she just couldn't get tired of his slightly sulky expression, of his beautiful skin and of his slightly long and uncombed hair at that time of morning. Now he stood there, standing against the door with his arms crossed over his bare chest, a few days' beard and those trousers, which made him look like a biker.

"Exactly... Almost! The premiere will be in mid-November, or am I wrong? So what's the problem with the plane? And then there is the Doctor, he will be available for anything, he knows the situation better than anyone."

Norman shook his head, watching her put the moisturizer on her make-up remover.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn? I can never reason with you... The problem is not the premiere or the Doctor, the problem is the flight, altitude and the cabin pressure. I read a lot of things about it!"

"Oh really...?", she asked him as if she wasn't listening.

"Yes... Maybe if you tried to read some of those magazines that you keep on your bedside table as an ornament-..."

"Look... You shouldn't read them, they write a lot of nonsense... Their only purpose is to make you even more anxious... As if you didn't already have enough fear!"

"What do you mean? What am I anxious about? But did you think about it? If something could happen while we're up there, what could your Doctor do? It's too many hours... It's not possible, do you understand?"

"Norman it's also my job... Do you understand this? I'm not saying I'm thinking of swimming there. I just want to do what I have to, what they pay me for and what I was chosen for. I want to be there, that's all. I worked hard for that film..."

"But I know... I know this!"

The man came up with a more condescending tone, taking a small package from her hands and pouring only a few drops of perfumed oil on his hands.

"I know how much you care about your work and I know you are a professional... But here we are not talking about an unjustified absence. You don't have the flu! I will go... You will see that will be enough!"

Y/N closed her eyes, enjoying the expert touch of his hands on her bare neck. Both loved that moment of the day, a sort of ritual after the shower, which they wouldn't have given up for anything in the world.

"And it's a tiring event... You know how these premieres are. Do you want our girl to be frightened even before she comes into the world?", he said and saw her smile in the mirror as he craned her neck under his fingers; she looked like a little cat ready to purr. He smiled in return, lingering over her delicate skin, of which he now knew every little flaw.  
A flash brought him back to another mirror in which he had only glimpsed at her a few months before; an old dressing room, a seamstress with wrinkled hands and that dress, left on the chair. It seemed like an eternity, Y/N's body had changed now that there were only a few months left to give birth and there was no longer any trace of that modesty and embarrassment, which then had forced her to hide from his gaze.  
Now they were in New York as he had promised them in the hospital; they lived in Y/N's apartment, a small but beautiful terraced house in the heart of the city.  
On the other hand she had a further advantage: Now that she lived near Orlando again, she would spend a lot of time with his friend talking about work, projects, passions or just walking around.   
But Norman was aware that he couldn't afford the luxury of staying in one place, it wasn't his life and as much as he didn't want to admit it, it wasn't even Y/N's. This also made him fall in love with her every day more.  
He also knew that soon that idyllic moment would end. In spring the shooting of the new season of The Walking Dead would begin, this would take him away for who knows how long and he certainly couldn't ask Y/N to follow him with a newborn baby girl. Yet that idea continued to haunt him: What would she do? There were things he couldn't avoid thinking about, that life was too complicated for two families and it was just this that Y/N had tried to tell him, when she had expressed her doubts about a possible relationship. But Norman couldn't have avoided it, he was falling in love with her day after day and the idea of getting away from her made him feel bad. So he decided to enjoy every second of his new life, postponing the problems later and waiting with growing impatience to meet their little girl. 

(choose the name you want for the baby)  
C

/N: They would have called her that, a name with a beautiful sound and a deeper meaning. She would have been a pretty girl, he already imagined her with her long eyelashes and her mother's eyes, who took on all the shades of that colour.  
Norman was happy as he hadn't felt in a long time, too long. It was like having found his own corner of paradise, the one that had taken so many years to build and that he thought he had lost forever.  
Now that at his age he thought he knew himself enough, he felt instead that he was a very different man from how he was so many years before. He had the same experience with another woman, his son's mother.  
Perhaps the Doctor was right when he said that age made the soul of men soften, but being more mature told him that there was something different now and it was not just about him, his age or his way of life relations.  
Norman had always thought that the perfect union was the one he had established with with his Ex-Wife, the one who had kept him tied up for so many years and raised his son, making him a man; a kind of relationship that went beyond marriage, children, love itself, respect, friendship and trust, serenity... But all this was not enough. There had been something making them unhappy. Sometimes he thought it was success, or the distance but now that he found himself getting up at five in the morning only to see the dawn rise over the skyline and getting tickled by Y/N's rebellious hair, Norman had the feeling that he had finally found the answer.

She was a strange woman, Y/N, it seemed that she was never perfectly at ease in her own skin but gave off a sort of magnetism, which was impossible to resist; Norman saw it every day in the eyes of the men who met her on the street and in the smiles of the women, who recognized her and stopped her to wish her well. The resemblance, which he initially found between her and his Ex, stopped at the big clear eyes and the fine features of the face but everything else was so different: The charisma, the passion, the strong sense of humor and that pinch of insecurity were qualities that belonged only to Y/N and that at times reminded him of the biting and enigmatic personality of her character in The Walking Dead.  
And then he loved that new life: Their long walks in the park, the smell of the cakes made with freshly bought fruits at the market and those reflections, which could be seen in her hair in the light of the sunset. She loved being a bit fussy about cleaning the house and her incurable laziness. He had learned to laugh with her, to recognize her small eccentricities, to tickle her where she suffered the most.  
It was so nice to wake up in the morning and hear her singing out of tune in the shower, to reach her and kiss her still wet skin. It was nice to see her eating breakfast voraciously, waiting for him to tell him how bad his coffee was. And it was just as nice to move her hair away from her neck, to kiss her every night before falling asleep.

Now Y/N looked at him through the mirror, seeing him so absorbed in his thoughts.

"I don't understand you... We knew this time would come. You cannot assume that I give up just because I am expecting a child. I am certainly not the only one who attended such events. Believe me, if it were a risk I would not do it, but I will do all the checks before leaving and if necessary I will do them even after the arrival. Then you will be with me. The plane will be comfortable..."

The man snorted, wiping his hands from the remains of the oil on his arms. He insisted, she would always have the last word.

"And what would I do if something happened? Apart from getting angry and being a stupid fool? Listen to me Y/N, I know you will do it your way, but I ask you to think again. You almost risked dying for this little girl and even then I was there and I couldn't do anything at all!"

Y/N looked up, struck by the reflected face behind her and turned around to find herself right in front of that face.

"I know. I know what happened and I know how you felt. But we cannot avoid anything out of fear. I feel great now and I want to do it... I want it so much! Please, I will be careful... You will always be with me, I swear. Only the conference and the film, then I'll let you go to the party alone!"

"But who cares about the party!"  
She smiled uncertainly and the small wrinkles, which she could not resist, rippled around her dark eyes.  
"Do we have an agreement then?"

"We'll talk later about again, okay?"

"So... You agree!"

By now he had already surrendered.

"Fuck it!", he said defeated, stepping back as she clung her arms happily around his neck.

"Thank you so much! I love you... Thank you! Thank you!"

Norman tried to resist but ended up smiling at her, holding her close to him as he felt her warm breath brush against his neck.

"You know you don't have to say that."

The slightly hoarse voice was a clear signal that he was rapidly losing control. How could he resist her?

"I know. That's why I do it."

Their eyes met for a few seconds and he saw that inviting light flashing between those long black eyelashes. To hell with those planes and parties, all what mattered was to hold her in his arms and love her, to always love her, but that's not how things go, right?


	17. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here I am again! I wish everyone a good reading!  
> \- Kate

"No thanks, that's enough!"

Y/N leaned back in her chair, sighing. By now she had entered the seventh month and the pregnancy was starting to get a little too heavy, especially due to the constant back pain and headaches, which after the operation continued to torment her even more.

"But you didn't eat anything!"

"Oh Jeffrey stop it... You used to tell me that too, remember? You can't expect everyone to eat like you do!"

Hilarie always knew how to silence her husband.

"And I always thought you SHOULD eat for two.", Jeffrey replied, feigning surprise.

"Yes, as long as one of these is not sitting literally on the other's stomach! Hey, don't you dare get up from that chair, honey!", Hilarie admonished Y/N, who was already starting to gather the dishes.  
It was Norman who instead intervened by surprise.

"Yes, I'll take care of it... Only this time, though!"

He wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it on the table before getting up.  
By now the dinners at the Morgan house were a weekly ritual, neither couple would have been able to give it up, perhaps because they knew all too well how much that retired and peaceful life was a short-lived luxury for people like them.  
Jeffrey also got up and walked towards the cabinet, in which he kept all his liquor supply; he was not a big drinker but he loved to share some of those treasures, which he gathered around the world and there was no better time to do it.

Jeffrey turned to Y/N, seeing the bored expressions of the other two, who knew the him by heart.

"Here. Now we will talk and-..."

It was then that Hilarie decided to turn around and stared at his friend with a questioning look. She knew something was wrong from the moment he crossed the threshold of their house. He set the dishes on the marble shelf, undecided whether to leave them there or put them back in the dishwasher. Much depended on what Norman had to tell her, since it was clear by now that his offer of help hid something else.

"So?"

"So what?"

Norman focused on the dishes, pretending he hadn't noticed the change in his friend's voice.  
Did he really think she didn't notice anything?  
The woman began to rinse the dishes one by one even too slowly to give him time, until she saw him hesitate.

"Okay, I should ask you for advice... I could talk to Jeffrey but I don't think-..."

"Tell me you didn't do any of your usual bullshit Norman!", she said coldly, as if she was talking about the weather.  
What she feared from the beginning of the story with Y/N was in fact that, after the first few months of mad love, Norman would succumb to some of his useless passions.  
Hilarie had always had the feeling that those two belonged to each other, right from the filming of the first time on the set. She was so happy for Norman and for how he saw him serene for some months but he also knew that Y/N was not an easy woman and that she would never have forgiven him if he had even barred an inch. In that case Norman would regret it for the rest of his life.

"Not yet!"

Norman's reply came to her dry and unexpected.

"What do you mean? Who is it now? Your make-up artist? Your real estate agent? Don't tell me that she is Y/N's gynecologist?"

"Oh my good god what are you thinking? What are you saying?"

"Okay, okay... I was just thinking out loud! As if I didn't know you...", she said and pointed a dirty spoon at him and looked at him grimly.  
"Let me just say that if you hurt that beautiful creature sitting there, you'll have to fight me! You've never been so lucky in your life Norman, don't fuck that up!"

"And that's it! As if I were the most unreliable person on the planet! No, what I wanted to ask you was an opinion... About this!"

Hilarie looked down from her face to Norman's hands, which revealed a blue box with an unmistakable shape. Her eyes widened, still keeping the spoon in mid-air and she almost fainted.

"It can't be-...", she stammered in a faint voice.

"Oh for once you are speechless! We will tell it to your grandchildren!"  
Norman was amused by the reaction of his friend, always so direct and cynical and above all always with the prompt joke.

"No... Well it can't be that... Open it... Open it Norman!"  
The adrenaline seemed to be taking over, as if that gift was for her.  
Norman opened the box, letting the diamonds shine in the kitchen light.

"Wow... Well... Well... Wow!"

It was certainly not the typical engagement ring, it was all bigger, complicated but there was nothing to say, no one had ever seen such a masterpiece.

"So…? Do you like it?"

"Well if I like it? Norman, it's absolutely fantastic! Y/N will go crazy. Of course..."

"Oh well... I hoped so!"

She saw him rummaging in his jeans pocket and Hilarie's eyes widened when she saw yet another blue box appear.

"Are you kidding me? Two?"

"Well I had to ask you for advice about the engagement ring."

"So you said it! Engagement!"

"Be quiet... Please!", he silenced her, glancing quickly towards the open door.

"Okay, sorry! Let's see!"

She found herself speechless in front of an authentic masterpiece of design again. An explosion of white and black diamonds and a wonderful black stone in the center surrounded by small red stones engraved on the side. It was the perfect ring for Y/N, a showy jewel as dark as night, but also vital and brilliant. A star, a piece of heaven.

"Well, what advice? This... This is perfect!"

Norman now looked at both rings thoughtfully.

"You think so? Yes, in fact the first one seemed a bit too classic... To be honest I would have commissioned a third one..."

Hilarie rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"I can't believe it! You are completely crazy!"

"Wait, wait... Three is the perfect number, isn't it?"

He took out the third box identical to the previous ones.

"You're such an asshole!", she suddenly laughed.

"Do I have to deduce that you like it or does it disgust you? I know it's simpler but there is an whole issue of stones..."

"Yes okay, okay Norman. It is okay... I don't understand anything either right now! But it's absolutely amazing! Y/N will love it!"

"See? I was right to ask you. I would have certainly given her all of them..."

"Well, I don't think it would make much difference... It's the meaning that counts! Oh my god, I can't believe it yet! You want to marry her! Norman wants to marry again? This is big news... But wait, why? You have never felt the need to remarry... In short, after your Ex-Wife you always said that there was no need to formalize your relationship. And now? Y/n does not seem to me a woman who needs this kind of thing..."

Norman was silent for a moment, a little thoughtful.  
"Yes I know! But what should I tell you? I feel it... It is strange for me too, believe me, I happened to think about it and put the idea aside, but then I thought about it again... And again..."

"I understand, you're afraid and that you want to run away! You're afraid that Y/N may be leaving... It's a way to hold her tight. A little stupid, let me tell you..."

"What are you saying? It is absolutely not because of that..."

And yet he felt troubled by those words, perhaps because he had unconsciously done that reasoning himself.  
It was absurd, he had to admit, he who had never even asked, but now he found himself buying not one but three engagement rings, without being able to mask the anxiety for a hypothetical rejection.  
Norman had already been married and if there was one thing that experience had taught him, it was that marriage was nothing more than a difficult contract to dissolve. When he was finally divorced, he had promised himself never to make such a mistake again.  
He looked away guilty, suddenly feeling less euphoric and closed the boxes again.

"Hey, I didn't want to ruin this thing for you... I see you care about this but be careful. It is only a few months that you have been together and it cannot be said that you have followed the conventional steps of a relationship... Y/N is a mysterious creature, do not frighten her. You always look like a kid, you let yourself be taken away by the feelings in this somewhat naive way."

"Until I hit my head with reality...", he agreed in a bitter tone.

"Or until the others knock you out with it. It seems to me that so far it has always been the case for you with women. I don't want Y/N to do be the same, that's all. Think well before you take a step like that and maybe talk to your son first..."

Norman nodded.

"And when did you think about asking her anyway?"

"The premiere of our movie! I thought it would be a great way... After all..."

"Do you mean among everyone?", Hilarie asked and looked at him puzzled.

"No! Y/N would kill me... I thought of organizing something maybe that evening, when we will return... Something romantic but not too much. Something strange something mysterious, like she loves it. I was thinking of making a sort of riddle. I'll prepare some quotes and she will slowly understand..."

"Actually I don't think I would understand it!", she laughed.

"Well you would. But not Jeffrey...", he answered and they both laughed.

Hilarie watched him hide the boxes again, this time in the pocket of his jacket and stopped him to look into his eyes, before returning to the dining room.  
"I'm happy for you Norman... Really! You deserve to be happy!", she said and stood on tiptoe to hug him, feeling really excited for him.  
He smiled at her, it was very important that she was on his side, that she had supported him from the first moment and that whatever happened, she could always figure it out and help him.  
  
They returned to the living room and found Jeffrey already slightly tipsy, in front of his bottle  
"There you are. We thought you were lost. We have had time to be attacked by that little devil of our child!", he laughed.

"Yes, but tonight I let Y/N tell a story and I have to say that she did very well... You know, you should record a couple of cassettes with those fairy tales, so we won't have to do anything but make them listen to them!", he laughed.

Norman sat down at the table in front of the glass of liquor, which Jeffrey had already poured.  
He and Y/N exchanged a quick glance and recognized that shy smile, which appeared every time the woman was in the spotlight.  
He had the instinct to get up and kiss her but the light weight of the boxes in his pockets made him hold back.  
Was he doing the right thing? That of marriage had seemed to him the easiest and most natural choice in the world but now that he had talked to his friend, he suddenly felt more insecure.

"You know, Y/N and I were talking about the next season of The Walking Dead. After all in the original the stories followed one another."

Norman took a sip and frowned at him.

"Yeah. But we should twist the plot."

"But it's a good idea. Try to think about it.", Y/N suddenly said and Norman turned around to her with a questioning look.

"What?"

"Well... Yes..."

He hastened to correct Y/N and teased her, turning around to his friends.

"Here she is! Sometimes this side of Y/N's character of the show comes out..."

Jeffrey laughed at those words.  
"Let's just hope she doesn't turn into her character while you're in bed, otherwise poor you... Not to mention the mess while slaughtering zombies!", he said, sparking the general hilarity: That extreme sex scene would remain etched in everyone's memory for a long time, not to mention the fan's. They still remembered all too well when Y/N kept repeating talking about it in all the interviews.

"Well Y/N, you could rise... Why not? You're a actress..."

Hilarie was already writing a whole new script in her head.

"Yes, too bad you made me break into a thousand pieces for now on the show, including your own heart... It doesn't work, her character's fine how she is right now! Rather focus on the return of Rick and Maggie... Those are so interesting!"

If there was one thing Y/N hated, itwas that her characters, often gone for no reason, were brought back to life in questionable ways. Certainly that production had been particularly enjoyable and she would have had the opportunity to work again with her friends, perhaps even to participate in the drafting of the initial script, but it didn't have all this importance. She maybe would have done something else, she always wanted to do something else beside the show.

"In short, you just don't want to say it and that's it, am I right..."

Their friend clearly wanted to provoke her.

"No, I don't think that's it... I rather think that she no longer wants to work with me... Too much gossip, you know?", Norman had intervened with what he knew would be the final hit.  
He immediately saw the change in expression on the woman's face: Suddenly the tiredness seemed to disappear as she straightened up in the chair.

"You have nothing to do with it. Why do you always have to be the center of attention?"

"Oh here she is, the diva, now I recognize her!", Norman laughed, revealing that he had exaggerated to unleash her reaction.

"Well I think that many interesting ideas might come up instead. Maybe Rick comes back and let's not forget that Michonne might be bit before the final battle... And yes, Daryl was heartless but he's fighting and searching for her, isn't he? As well as Negan! And let's not forget that there is Eugene, who has now become the father of Rosita's child! And what about an interesting triangle which could be set off again. What if Negan finds Y/N's character first and Daryl didn't knew she was pregnant and so on... Think about it!", Jeffrey said those words pointing to Y/N's belly, as if he were certain that the magic creature he was talking about was hiding there.

"Of course! Sure why not? A child... That's what was missing."

Now, no one could stop Jeffrey and Norman when they started fantasizing that way.

"Hey... I remind you that I would always be dead in the end, or gone!", Y/N tried to say, trying to intervene in that brainstorming of ideas.

"You're a monster... Don't just die!", Jeffrey silenced her, almost annoyed by this minor objection, and turned back to Norman.

Hilarie and Y/N looked at each other with resignation, they were now been cut off from the discussion.  
Y/N remembered trying to look at some passage to study her character but she ended up being inspired by something else; Norman still scolded her but all the man's subsequent attempts to make her passionate about it had ended with an uncomfortable sleeping on the couch.  
Hilarie suddenly changed her expression, she knew exactly how to get the attention of the two men back.

"Well, who knows what actor we could find to play the part of an maybe new boyfriend? Maybe Christian or not, Honey, how about him? Otherwise Y/N could contact Orlando... You are such good friends and then let me say it, you'd make a magnificent couple!"

The woman raised her voice slightly, so as to overlook the chatter, which stopped immediately.  
Norman raised an eyebrow and despite trying to restrain himself, ended up bursting out.

"Orlando? As in Orlando Bloom...? Well sure, who else! We talk about something and immediately he comes up. As if there were no other equally popular actors!"

"Oh sure they exist... And Jeffrey what would you say instead of Daryl aka Norman? Come on, Orlando would be perfect..."

This time Y/N started first, knowing all too well what would be the partner's reaction. But she tried to ignore it, observing the increasingly annoyed expression of Norman: It was funny to see how his friends knew him so well that they could hit his smallest weaknesses, only to see him react.

"Wait, who?"

"Orlando, remember? Tall, broad shoulders, a bad boy's smile... He had worked with Y/N already. Didn't he look good in their last movie in those clothes..."

Norman threw down the entire content of the glass and glared at Hilarie first and then at Y/N. Why did she have to be so sadistic? He had just shown her the rings and she talked about the 'so fabulous Orlando', as if he were the most fascinating man in the world.  
Certainly he didn't want this actor to appear on the set every morning to play the role of Y/N's new boyfriend.

"Yes I remember him. Vaguely. But in this case it feels like we don't just talk about clothes."  
Hilarie winked smugly and amused by Norman, which continued as planned with a more jealous tone.  
"Anyway yes... What can I tell you? He is a professional, of course... If you think it might be right, I will not be the one to oppose."  
He looked at his friend for help and in response received only another glass of alcohol.  
"But no sex scenes..."  
He had dropped that phrase like that, trying not to look too jealous.

"Here we go again... It looks like the focus is only on my sex scenes! Looks like I don't do anything else! I'm not a porn actress Norman!"

The way she pronounced his name even silenced their two friends, enjoying the show they had caused.  
Norman immediately put himself on the defensive, certainly not expecting such a strong reaction.

"Hey okay... And who ever said anything about it? I just wanted to make sure I didn't see you in bed with your... Best friend... Okay? I just thought it would be embarrassing, that's all! Try not to get too upset please!"

"And stop it... Aren't you the one who provokes me and I should pretend nothing happened? It's like I'm talking to my father!"

"Ouch..."

Hilarie let out that exclamation, expecting to hear Norman annoyed. He certainly didn't need Y/N to remind him how old he was compared to her.  
Norman's eyes widened at those words. He wasn't sure if Y/N really meant it, sometimes she just teased him by pretending to be angry, other times he was sure that it was the hormones that made her so susceptible.

"Okay... That's enough! I didn't want to provoke you...", he said and raised his hands in surrender.

"Certainly not... Like the time you listed all the scenes I had to do with him in a shower... Okay, there were a lot of them, I admit it, so what? And what should I say then? How many sex scenes have you done in your career?"

"Oh yes? So it's you and Orlando in the shower, then. That's what you want?"

"They were dressed in the shower...", Jeffrey had intervened unexpectedly.

"Yes, but they were wet... And, and... Fuck it... In short, all these things are more than a real sex scene. I mean come on! He likes her! C/N and I have done nothing but kiss each other in those scenes!"

"Oh really? Kisses... I really want to see these kisses... They were so fake that she became your lover back then!", Y/N said.

"Okay, okay guys, time out!", Jeffrey had intervened, restoring peace. They were stupid love skirmishes, it was clear that those two were in love but had two highly flammable spirits.  
Hilarie put her hand on that of her friend and glanced at Norman, preventing him from intervening before the next discussion of sex in their work was the topic.  
The man leaned back in his chair, turning the liquor in his glass.  
Okay, maybe he only had a little reason. He hated that Y/N accepted extreme roles and hated to see her in too intimate attitudes with others, not because of the nude scenes in themselves but because she always seemed so much involved and he knew from experience that a minimum of chemistry had to be there, not to mention with Orlando...

"Well this was just a possibility... We can also not include other men and continue with the triangle between the characters on the show. Negan could team up with her... He could even bring her back! And then yes... Fans would also love this couple, and then when Daryl finds out! We could have some really interesting scenes right away! So when does it happen again?"

"No Jeffrey... I don't think it's a good idea..."

Norman glanced at Y/N, looking for confirmation in her eyes.  
The child would be born two months later and the last thing to do at that time was to start working on the new season, which perhaps would never even have been produced right away. And then he would have felt embarrassed, they were no longer Daryl and her character... They were their two and their child maybe.  
But predictably, Y/N didn't seem so refractory to it; she couldn't stand to stay at home without working. She was so used to traveling, to studying all the time, now she felt lost. Norman had already discovered her more than once how she read the scripts, which arrived from who knows where from.

"Well maybe we should evaluate this hypothesis. But why not? It's not a bad idea Norman... We could shoot a couple of scenes, develop ideas... It would be like a new job, don't you think? And now we're here, we have no other upcoming projects and we could call Greg and the others..."

Norman closed his eyes, exhaling a deep sigh. She always had to be a little more daring.

"Y/N, we have the promotion of the film and then if you had forgotten it, we have a little girl on the way..."

"Oh, think about it Norman, don't be the usual troublemaker now..."

Jeffrey was already rubbing his hands, knowing that he would win the woman's opinion and sooner or later they would work again at that show and that material. It was just a matter of time. Of course having an character like her's who is pregnant with Daryl's child was beyond all expectations.

"Jeffrey, please, don't you, too... We have other plans for now, all of us..."

"Okay... Think about it. I only ask you this!...", the man concluded without going any further. He had to let Norman talk to her and he had no intention of ruining the evening for that.

"In the meantime, I think I will use your bathroom for the, I don't know, yet another time, excuse me!"  
Y/N stood up, heading towards the corridor.  
As soon as they heard the door close again, Norman snapped.  
"Are you crazy? I have no intention of filming sex scenes with my wife while she's pregnant!"

An unexpected laugh made both men turn to Hilarie.  
Jeffrey was puzzled by his friend's reaction, by the woman's and by something else, which he still missed but which soon took over in his mind.

"So... Repeat that from the beginning, I don't think I heard it right. No one has ever talked about sex scenes... But above all Norman, here nobody has ever talked about wifes."

Jeffrey put his voice on the last word, not understanding the slip he had caught but above all the expression now painted on his face.  
Hilarie teased him, tasting only a sip of liquor from her glass and trying not to spit it out.

"Well... Here..."

This was embarrassing, very embarrassing. How could he have let this thing slip away so easily. He approached his friend, lowering his voice for fear that Y/N would hear him.

"Okay... Yes I did! I mean no... I just bought the rings..."

"The rings?", Jeffrey asked with a stunned expression.

"Yes Honey... he bought three... Appearantly the perfect number."

"Stop Hilarie! It's a long story to explain now. But yes..."

To hear him say it had a certain effect.

"Well... I'm speechless! Do you want to know if you're wrong? But of course you're wrong Norman... And you want to know what I'm telling you?"

He glanced quickly at his companion, who was smiling right next to him.

"What?", Norman asked, obviously worried.

"It takes another toast here!"

A pat on the back and a happy smile from his friend made him feel better immediately.  
He couldn't wait to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So what do you think? Will Norman finally make the big move? 


	18. Chapter 16

"What are you doing?", she asked while her voice was still slurred with sleep.

"I take the sleep away from your eyes...", Norman whispered to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  
Y/N smiled, stretching slightly. She would always have woken up like this.  
She decided to play along, he was so sweet that she remembered that scene of their first job together and used it to stage one of the riddles, on which the whole movie was based.  
She pulled him close to kiss him but he stopped perplexed just a few inches away from her lips.

"Oh... It's my breath isn't it?"  
They both laughed this time, before Norman kissed her.  
She sat up finally stretching her legs under the covers and only then noticed the tray with the food, placed right next to her.

"You're going to spoil me!"

"You're already spoiled...", he replied, handing her a glass of fruit juice.

"How do you feel? Did you manage to get some sleep?"

"Yes... I think so. I was so tired that our girl wouldn't have woken me up even if she danced! But what time is it?"

"Almost nine..."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You slept so well..."

Norman knew by now that because of the progress of pregnancy, it became more and more difficult for her to succeed in to sleep. He often woke up in the middle of the night, realizing that he was alone in the bed and found her in the shower downstairs or maybe on the couch in front of an old movie, of which she knew every line by heart. He did not remember that it had ever happened with his Ex-Wife but the doctors had assured him that it was absolutely normal: Often it became difficult to find a comfortable position, with back pain and an increasingly bulky belly.  
Y/N did her best to try to follow all the advice but often she became impatient when she realized that everything was too tiring for her now, accustomed instead to running every morning.  
All Norman could do to help her was to try to make those last weeks enjoyable, taking advantage of all the time available and pampering her as much as possible. He realized how delicate that moment was for her, Y/N was at her first pregnancy and had already had many problems, plus the distance from her mother and sister were certainly heavy, even if she tried to hide it.

"And now where are you going?"

He sat on the bed with the glass still full, which she had returned to him, while he saw her disappear behind the bathroom door and smiled. He waited for her to appear again, with her faded Ramones shirt and her Y/H/C hair loose on her shoulders. How could she be so adorable even now?  
Norman was surprised to think that he wanted to stop that moment forever: Y/N seemed to be at the height of her sensuality, a sort of fertility goddess, who embodied the very essence of being feminine. Who knows, maybe Jeffrey's idea about the shooting wasn't all that stupid; it would have been a shame to deprive the world of such beauty and the most irresistible thing was that she didn't even realize it.  
Now he saw her sit cross-legged on the bed again, biting into a piece of toast.

"Well, why are you looking at me like that?"

Norman was puzzled and answered instinctively with a gesture. He leaned forward to kiss her again and, like every time, that simple contact was enough to make her realize that she didn't care about food, sleep and the jokes: When she was in his arms everything seemed to stop.  
They remained embraced between the covers, disturbed every now and then by the movements of the child, who, like every time, had woken up. They had eaten a cold dinner now, feeling like in that hotel room again, where they had spent the best days of their lifes.  
Norman had found himself wandering more than once in the direction of the drawer in which he kept the rings hidden, undecided whether to take them or wait to be at the event as planned. He wanted something special, he wanted to surprise her but then he looked at her, huddled against her and thought that there would be no better time than that.  
Maybe it was just the fear of a refusal that held him back.

"Wanna do it?", he finally asked her, getting up and placing himself only a few inches away from her face.

"What?"

"The idea from Jeffrey... The new season of The Walking Dead... Would you like to do it?"

Y/N looked at him stunned.  
"What are you talking about? We talked so much about it. Well... Yes maybe, when Greg and Angela will find another actor, a suitable script... I mean you know better than me how long it takes for these things."

"But Jeffrey already had some ideas. And... If Orlando was available?"

"Oh I don't know..."

"But what are you saying... It is the best show you ever had. If not it's definitly the most fun. There are a lot of reasons why your character shouldn't just disappear like 'Heath'."

"Okay okay... But I still think it's not a good idea to make it like that. These things don't work..."

"Are you sure it's not because you just don't want to work with me anymore?"

Y/N sat up, pulling back the sheets.  
"What are you saying? I love working with you. I just think there are things to evaluate carefully, that's all. It risks becoming uninteresting... But then excuse me for asking about it now? It seemed to me that I had already said no to Jeffrey?"

"Yes, I said it... But maybe it's not such a bad idea. Okay, maybe not now... I'm not sure it's right to feed us to the cameras right now and I don't want to risk our private life being confused with work... But think about it, it would be great to be back on that set again. We had fun... We're a family. And I think the public would like it! Think about it..."  
Norman sat down, kissing her shoulder left uncovered.  
"Think about it... We would have the chance to stay a little longer together..."

This time he kissed her cheek and then went to her temple, on which the small scar was still visible.

"Oh... That's why...", she murmured more seriously.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I know you a little and you are starting to come to terms with the fact that we are aware that our work will rip us apart... We've already talked about it, Norman! If you start thinking about this now, do it for the right reasons and not because you're looking for an excuse to force yourself to stay here. You know, that would be an effort for you, for your own career! Don't put the work in the middle, please."

He felt struck by those words, it was as if she had read his thoughts in the most hidden drawers of his mind. He had tried so hard not to let anxiety shine through him for the future and instead he was there.  
Y/N was right, they had talked about it for a long time when she insisted on keeping him at a distance but now things had changed, they were no longer just 'parents' who had to make the right decisions for a child, they were a full-fledged couple.

"I always did it... I always thought first of my children and then of work.", he protested to justify himself.

"Yes, but this is because when your Ex-Wife worked, you followed her with Mingus and then the opposite happened. Among us it won't be so simple, you know. I'm not a singer, I can't compose and write where I want to! I do the same job like you and we both know how it works..."

Norman wanted to argue something, he wanted to blame her but he knew how true she was that things were exactly like that. She had been an established actress for years, she was at the height of success and had the chance to decide her own future.

He now stroked her face with one finger.  
"I know... But the past has passed, okay? She and I have experienced a very different situation. I never thought you had to stay home with the baby or follow me to the end of the world depending on the shoot. We will try to make it work... I could stop for a few months, then you would do it... There will be a way and we will find it!"

Y/N smiled but it was a sad expression.  
"But it doesn't work out by working on the same set, you understand that? It takes time for such a project. We have many requests, and I have signed for other productions too. When do you think we have time to do it?"

"Okay... It was just an idea... We will think about it later."  
He was silent for a moment, repeating Y/N's last words in his head.  
"Hey, but... What do you mean with you signed? What did you sign?"

The woman's guilty face immediately alerted him, he hated being kept in the dark about things and she hated talking about it.

"Nothing... Nothing yet. But I've received several interesting movie proposals in the last few months. And it's strange because after all what happened I thought that no one would ever want me as an actress again..."

Norman felt guilty only for a second but then tried to make her capitulate; Y/N was taking time, she always did it when she was agitated and gesticulated in that way.

"So?"

"So... Well, in short, there would be this project... It would be divided between Europe and America..."

"Y/N don't go around it, what's so important? Who will you work with?"

"No. No, it's not about that...", Y/N hastened to reassure her companion: "Well I would play an actress... She rejects a proposal and escapes to America, because she is in love with someone there. Later I decide to betray him to save someone else and-... I'll let you read the script, okay? I like the story. You absolutely have to read it. She is such a lively character, so strong and at the same time it would allow me to get out of the stereotype. Beautiful but cruel... It is a path, a road in which it is essential to shed all the superfluous and to remain a kind soul."

The man was perplexed, nodding without answering.  
What was he supposed to answer? He could have read the whole script but the passion with which she talked about it was already quite contagious. It was as if she was already that woman.

"I think I understand. But when would the shooting start?"

"This spring, around April, maybe May..."

"And the child?", he asked and tried not to appear perplexed by that eventuality but the truth was that he never had thought that Y/N started working again immediately: "We wouldn't see each other for weeks, maybe months..."

"See? This is it... We will never agree! I'll never be the woman you want!"

Norman hated being told those words again, because she was exactly the woman he wanted.  
"Well... Let's focus on our work at the expense of everything else! Who cares about family, who cares about us? But why not reason me, Y/N? That job will involve an incredible commitment, you will probably have to lose a lot of weight in a short time. How are you going to do that with a newborn baby?", he added and she felt that she was starting to cry, while he was also taking away her smallest hope.

"I'll do as everyone does... I'll follow a special diet, I'll do some movement, with the baby I imagine I won't have much time to sit still. And then this doesn't matter, you know, we work with our body, it's our tool, we can do everything we want."

"I can't believe you're really saying that... You are expecting a child, you can't do what you want with your body!"

"Do not insinuate that I am a degenerated mother!"

"I insinuate nothing, I only say that we cannot think only about ourselves now, you are not alone anymore! You must account for it."

Her long black eyelashes let her eyes rise over him and Norman had the distinct sensation of seeing her only then for the first time. He sighed, feeling slightly guilty, though he still couldn't openly approve the woman's choice.

"Then... We'll find a solution. But it is also important that we talk about it, do you understand me? From now on you have to talk to me about your work, your choices, I don't want to interfere but we are a family now."

Y/N let herself be embraced, trying to recover the old serenity. It was strange for her to hear that word, she was no longer used to having a real family for at least some years.

"I know... It's just that I've never had to talk to anyone until now about that. I've always made my own decisions, always taking all the risks. But I can't just think of me, you're right."

Norman now put his hand to her belly and took a long breath. It was normal for it to happen but he still couldn't hide his concern. From the last hospital visit it appeared that the child was preparing to get in position and often during the night Y/N felt small contractions.

"Do you want me to give you a back massage? You'll feel better."

"No... It's all right. Listen... Would you do me a favor? Beside my purse in the living room there must be an envelope with a book. Would you get it? But don't look into it!"

He stood up and headed into the hallway.  
"Don't tell me it's one of those books about water birth and hypnosis and all that.", he laughed when he heard her voice.  
"No! Norman please don't look!"

"Here."

Y/N smiled, getting the small book with the red cover.  
"Something tells me there's nothing good in that book... I recognize the face you make.", he came back to her side trying to read the cover, but he didn't succeed since the woman kept it hidden against her chest.  
"What are you doing? Tell me what it is! You know that if it's one of your discoveries on water birth, on a tree or inside a cave, I won't be your accomplice.", he laughed: "By the way, when is the next meeting?"

"Tuesday... But you don't have to come! In fact, maybe it's better if you're not there, remembering how the last time ended!"

"Why? It's not my fault if they liked me so much!"

She smiled at him and made him melt when he saw her biting her lips, in that gesture she always did, when she was nervous.

"Tell the truth. You just think that I embarrass you at those meetings!", he laughed again but didn't get an answer, so he rolled his eyes.  
Y/N's expression hinted that she would resist anything, rather than talking about that with him. Norman took the opportunity to peek at the book but was stopped by the woman.

"No, wait ... Before showing it to you I want to explain something to you. But don't take it badly."

"Now you really scare me..."

"So... A few days ago... No, maybe a little more than a few days... Well, I was thinking about our names, their story..."

"So?"

He saw her hesitate, looking down at the book, which was no longer hidden.

"So I thought that even if we have already chosen the name, we could somehow make it more ours, you know..."

"Our own? Do you want to call her Y/N?"

" No! But I found this in an old library nearby.", she said and finally handed him that little book simply called 'Names & Meanings'. The characters were a little faded and the image was ruined, but inside there were lots of anecdotes, curiosities, photos and above all the names.  
Y/N watched him in silence, nervously biting her lips.  
But all he could do was smile and kiss her. He had no words, he felt as if he had just told him that they would call her as his mother, just because of this little gift.  
Y/N tried not to let herself be carried away by the emotion, knowing that now the most complicated part began. She had already chosen the name to tell the truth, she had chosen it since the first time she had looked through that book and decided to buy it. But would he have agreed?

"Okay, but now take a look at it. I warn you, most of the names are fine except those I marked red."

Norman burst out laughing, not expecting that sentence at all. He returned to the list of names, starting to understand why she had asked him not to get angry. They would spend all night on that book and who knows how many more. They never really agreed on anything...  
Norman sat down again by her side, not taking his eyes off Y/N's concentrated expression; she was beautiful, until they found a good name.

"So C/N it is!", Y/N nodded, not hiding her joy about that choice.

"Good, so it's decided. How does it sound to you?"

"To be honest? I would like to call myself that.", Y/N replied enthusiastically.

"C/N? Or would you like to let the last name away?"  
Norman held his breath, realizing what he had just said. He had practically asked her to marry him, at least in his mind it seemed like it. However, Y/N seemed not to notice the reference to becoming Mrs. Reedus and smiled while Norman approached to kiss her again.  
He hadn't been able to ask her to marry him yet but he would have done it soon and he was sure that everything would be all right. For now all that mattered was that they were together in that embrace, which made them one with their little girl.


	19. Chapter 17

"Are you okay?"

Y/N rolled her eyes, sighing.  
"Yes Norman! For the hundredth time, yes!"

"Okay okay... Don't get mad!", he answered defensively but it was clear he was joking.

The trip had gone well, even though it had been tiring for both of them and they had only had a couple of hours to rest, before the press conference.  
The fatigue from the jet lag was accompanied by the apprehension of his companion's health, which would never have even mentioned it to show him that he was right. She had been so stubborn for that trip, that Norman had ended up thinking she just wanted to keep it under control. But no, that wasn't like her. That was a behavior that could be expected from his Ex, certainly not from Y/N.  
The conference had been the usual long annoyance, he hated being in front of those bored journalists, who pretended to be interested in their work, when in reality all they wanted was to capture Y/N's baby belly and learn more about their private life. But they had found something; if he had always been considered a reserved and jealous of his privacy, they had not yet come to terms with the woman's airtightness, who had shown one of her best smiles and candidly pointed out that she wanted to keep her working life separate to the private one.  
Certainly interpreting the part of the two, did not facilitate them in giving evasive answers about their relationship. How to explain that at the time of shooting they were not even together? That Norman didn't know he was the baby's father and Y/N was too scared by the presence of another woman?  
No, those details would have left for future interviews, those in which their grown child would tell how the scandalous love of her parents began.  
Photos, thank you's, a crowd of people who just wanted to congratulate them, it wasn't clear whether for the upcoming film or for the upcoming birth.  
Then finally they had escaped, escorted by their trusted bodyguard to the car with dark windows, which was waiting for them under the theater, while hordes of crazy fans didn't know whether to be happy for him or hate the newcomer.  
Y/N had entered the car laughing, had taken off her shoes immediately, complaining about the absurd heat.

"Will we go home immediately?"

"You can swear! I'm exhausted, I didn't remember that there could be so many people at a single conference!"

"Maybe because this time they were all focused on your every move..."

"Yes, actually I felt a slight pressure... But  
never mind, they got what they wanted, didn't they?", Y/N smiled, continuing to massage her bare feet.

"You've displaced them... They didn't expect a lady so elegant to shut them up like that!"

"Oh why? Haven't I been elegant? They would have ended up asking us how many times we do it in a day and if we use the same bathroom at the same time? Has it never happened to you? Back then when I was the first time with Orlando on set together we were always in the middle of attention. I remember once they even asked us if we liked to dominate or be dominated during relationships... They are crazy!"

"Why? Did you and Orlando had a relationship?", Norman asked her, pulling out his most shocked expression.

They looked at each other for a few moments before bursting into laughter.  
Norman knew that Y/N was right: Almost all of his relationships since he was dealing with the press, they had tried to go under their own skin, how repellent journalists could be. He often felt hunted, as if being a public character had erased him as a single person, as if he had become just a glossy photograph or a piece of film.  
Suddenly he saw her pull herself up with one of those ambiguous expressions, which always managed to scare him. What a weird idea was on her mind now?

"Hey, how about instead of going home, you take me to that store?"  
It was a bad idea, he had to expect it.  
"Tomorrow there will be the premiere and Wednesday we must already be back! Who knows how much time will pass before we can come back?"

"And you weren't exhausted? I think you should better catch up on some sleep!"

"I slept the whole trip...", he answered, and that skeptical look she got from the man, made her realize that maybe she was wrong.

"Not really. Only a couple of hours! But it's not like you sleep so much at home, with your daughter trying to be a dancer in there!", she said smiling.

"Who knows why."

"Because she knows how to be annoying just like her father!"

They loved to tease themselves that way, if they had known each other before they would have understood that they didn't have to play much later the roles of Daryl and C/N.  
By now he had lost her attention, Y/N had started to give directions to the driver.  
Why did she have to go to that store? He looked at his hands absentmindedly, giving up voicing his complaints.  
Instinctively he put his hand to his jacket pocket and recognized the small box, which he had kept for weeks. That was the big day, he had prepared everything to be perfect.  
And let alone even their bodyguard didn't know how to say no.  
In any case, he couldn't do anything about it, he would spend the rest of the day with Mingus and couldn't force him to stay indoors. Actually Norman would have liked to take him with him to finally present her to his son, who by now knew who she was and was old enough to know his sister's future mother. They would meet when they had the baby, so he didn't feel threatened by her but part of that concerned him.  
And then she didn't want to meet his Ex-Wife, she felt terribly embarrassed and didn't feel like invading his home like that.  
For his part Norman hadn't even tried to insist, he was already quite agitated at the idea of having to talk to the boy about his intention to get married again. He already imagined his reaction: Probably Mingus would have limited himself to saying that Y/N was okay, as he said more or less for everything that entered his visual ray for some months now; but, on the other hand, he would also have been a tough one, being jealous of his father.  
No one seemed to expect that decision from him, yet every minute that passed Norman felt the growing conviction that it was the right one.

Now the car stopped in front of a small window full of small shiny objects.

"I'd be safer if our bodyguard stayed here with you. You could always call me. Our driver will pick you up again later."

"I don't think he cares that much about jewelry!"

"You could discover new sides of him...", he smiled with a wink, aware of his small victory.

The driver got out of the car and opened the door for her.

"Okay, so please call me when you're done. Call me..."

"Don't worry, I will!"

Norman leaned out of the lowered window to kiss her. The fact that he wanted another and another could become a problem in the middle of the street.  
Then he left. He couldn't wait to see his son again, it's been some weeks since he returned home and although he always saw him through Skype, his evenings with him were terribly lacking.  
Now he put on his sunglasses and settled into the empty seat.   


  
"Congratulations. You are really beautiful!"

"Thanks!"

"Please let me know when it'll be born... Although I imagine that the newspapers will be faster!"

Y/N greeted her friend, giving her kisses on the cheeks, a habit she couldn't get rid of.

"Okay... I will try to beat them on time then!"

"And say hello to Norman from me!"

"Sure, I'll do it!"

She left the store, paying attention to the steps and found her bodyguard waiting outside, with his usual earpiece planted in his ear and the mobile phone in one hand.  
"Done? So we can call Johnny?"

"No, wait a minute, I saw a fantastic store for baby items... You know... Cradles, changing tables... Please, it's only two stores further back. Let's go there and then we'll leave, okay?"

The man nodded, showing a little reluctance at the idea of getting out of the initial timetable. He didn't like program changes, he didn't even like wheelchairs very much and he was afraid that something might happen, even just in those few meters.  
They entered the shop and, despite himself, he still let himself be infected by the enthusiasm of the future mother. He followed her, remembering when he too had only time for diapers and lullabies. Norman was really lucky to have found that woman, the more he knew her, and the more he realized that he could really be the right one for him, all he had to do was see how much she had changed in recent months. He now watched her go from a cover to a white and pink teddy bear and couldn't help thinking about how she would react that night, when his friend would finally take the big step.

"Excuse me a moment!"

He heard his phone vibrate and walked away towards the exit to answer, it was definitely his colleague, who was looking for Norman after the conference.

"Look who we have here... Madame Reedus!"

Y/N looked up, certain that they were talking to her. Her surprise was enormous, when she found herself in front of his Ex's long hair and smile.

"C/N...", she only managed to say, without hiding the distraught in the air.

"I did not imagine you would have made yourself be seen ever again...", the woman said, looking her up and down.

Y/N felt so uncomfortable that she struggled to find the voice to answer her. Instinctively she put her hand on her belly, as if to protect the baby from the sharp look of those very cold eyes. Why couldn't she be the diva when it was needed in real life?

"And where did you leave your knight in shining armor?"

"Norman is with his son...", she answered but immediately regretted her words, she shouldn't have said anything about herself, let alone him.

"It doesn't surprise me... He would do anything for his son. But you know this better than anyone, don't you?"  
His Ex was doing exactly what Y/N expected of her. Insinuate not too covertly that she had set her up with the pregnancy.  
Y/N now decided to answer, if she had been silent, she would have given her the chance to take the upper hand in the conversation, which she instead wanted to conclude as soon as possible.

"Of course, he loves his son! And it is good that he spends as much time as he can with him... Besides, it's his family... And we know he always comes back to his family."

Y/N looked down, imagining where she wanted to go.

"Come on Y/N. You're such a smart woman! You won't fool yourself that you can be a part between him and his real family, right? And it is also obvious that I am the love of his life."

"It seems strange that you do this bullshit now!"

"And why does it seem so strange, honey? Because it's the truth?"

That wry glance made her even more nervous than words.

"Because it seems to me that you have done no scruple to come between him and the REAL love of his life! And if I remember correctly, you cheated on him!"  
She saw her wavering for a moment, maybe C/N wasn't so sure of herself either.  
Y/N decided to continue, taking advantage of that moment of confusion in the woman's eyes.  
"It is ridiculous what you are doing, you are trying to be superior to this whole story, when we all know that it started because you! What happened between me and Norman has nothing to do with you, you cheated on him for the hundredth time when it happened!"

"So you're satisfied with the waste? Is that what you mean?"

"Well, if you want to call it 'a waste'!"

It was unbelievable how low that woman was falling and to think that Y/N had once even thought they could become friends. She now turned around to leave the store and the hateful scene behind.

"Hey wait... If I were you I wouldn't be in such a hurry to sing victory. Just because you carry his baby like a trophy, doesn't mean you won his heart!"  
Y/N turned around, struck by those words so full of contempt, and was taken aback by the amused look that the woman aimed at her.  
"Y/N darling, do you really think I'm the cause of his breakup with his Ex-Wife? Do you think it was me who slipped into his bed from time to time? Maybe you have a slightly distorted idea of our beloved Norman. He is not that prince you think you found, honey! She was exasperated after years of betrayal, even she had to leave. He is like that, it's his nature. But how much can you take for the love of a man? You have been nothing but another affair on his list and the problem is that you got screwed! But it won't be easy, he loves me with all his heart and unfortunately for you, I do love him, I know him like no other in the world and you could spend the rest of your life, trying to replace me but you will never reach that level. And how would it work when you know your man fucks his colleague whenever he gets on his new set?"

Y/N felt a kind of numbness descending all over her body. The words kept coming to her ears, falling like a blanket more and more thoughtfully, threatening to crush her to the ground.  
What was she saying? In her mind the images of Norman and her, of his Ex-Wife appeared.  
They were lies, it couldn't be true what she was describing, C/N had no respect for his family and even less for herself.

"...-And I'm talking about his most stable relationships. Everyone knows this. You can't control Norman, he has no control! There is no man on earth who can have so many women like him. You know that you can't resist that look, those shoulders, his voice. Oh that voice..."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Yes you're right, poor Y/N... I know I shouldn't talk to you now. But someone will have to tell you this. Everyone knows it, his family, his friends, the bodyguard out there... And you look like you are on another planet, Y/N! I've been there for a while, I've really thought about managing a similar relationship. I spent months presenting myself on the set of his films, going out with him and making his friends mine too. I really deluded myself into loving him, even though everyone called me a whore for tearing him from the arms of his beloved wife back then. But I couldn't change him! So I tried to leave, to get away from all that massacre, to provoke him, but the truth is that all I wanted was to look stupidly for a reaction on his side. Do you think he never offered me a child? Do you think he never looked after me since he ran away with you? He won't stop Y/N... He won't stop for this child, as he hasn't stopped for his other one and let me tell you darling, I really don't envy you, because you really got yourself into a huge fucking mess!"

Y/N stood still, looking at her, while the woman turned her back to her and stepped nonchalantly into the corridor between rows of prams, just as if she was on the red carpet.

"Oh and... Congratulations by the way!"

Those words came to her ears like the final stab in the back. She looked down, realizing that she was clinging to the edge of a pastel-colored baby carriage; she slowly loosened her grip, finally walking as though stunned toward the exit.

"So you're finally done? You've been inside there for such a long time and haven't bought anything?", the bodyguard greeted her surprised to see her emerge from the shop empty-handed.

"Y/N... What happened? I'll call Norman."

"No... No, I'll take a taxi!"

"We won't argue about that... We agreed. The driver will only need some minutes!"

"I told you I want a damn taxi!"

She was losing control, the man had never seen her in that state. Y/N tried to recover by lowering her tone, she had no reason to blame him, despite the fact that he was necessarily aware of the whole affair.

"I'm... I'm just very tired. I want to go home..."

Having said that the bodyguard stopped the first taxi and helped her. He would warn Norman and he would make sure she got home safely. But something told him that their romantic evening for a proposal wouldn't be like his friend had imagined.


	20. Chapter 18

"Okay, let me out here! Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow..."

He closed the door and greeted him with the usual hasty gesture, before going up the stairs.

"You came back early!"

The bodyguard was sitting at the long wooden table in the living room; his massive figure in the black suit, out of tune with the warm atmosphere of that room.  
Norman loved that place, it was the house that represented him the most, the one where he had resided for some years and lived with his family when he wasn't in Europe. Everything in there was talking about him and his travels, everything was so familiar and yes, maybe even a little too masculine, as his family kept saying every time they spent a few days with him.  
He put down the house keys and took off his hat, to finally approach his friend and take a sip of his now-warm beer.

"Oh it sucks! Mingus has an important test tomorrow and had to go to bed early."

Norman was absorbed for a few seconds, shaking his head slightly at the thought of his son.

"He made me read an article, which he wrote for the school newspaper. It is fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! He's so smart!"

"He certainly didn't got it from you! You can't even write the shopping list!", his bodyguard teased him, closing the magazine with an expert gesture, before tapping out the cigarette he had just lit.

"Hey that's not true! By the way, where is Y/N? Is she sleeping?"

"I don't know... I think she's in your room. It didn't seem appropriate to follow her there too..."

The man stood up, approaching the large window that opened onto the terrace; he knew he could safely smoke in that room but he was too rigid to get used to.  
Norman looked at his watch, which marked eleven at night.

"So you found the courage?"  
He was clearly referring to the announcement, which he had to make to his son.  
Norman lit one of his cigarettes and threw out a cloud of smoke.  
"Yes I did it! It went well, all in all... I thought that he would have taken it worse. He said Y/N is cool!"

His eyes widened, unable to believe his ears while Norman opened his arms in surrender.

"What do you want to do about it? It's the age…"

"I didn't even think about his age.", was the man's dry reply as he scanned the view.  
They both smiled and remained silent for a few moments, savoring that moment of peace in the fresh night air.

"Everything is ready, you just have to take it to the annex and you will find everything you asked for. I know that Y/N doesn't drink at the moment but I thought that a couple of bottles of wine wouldn't be a waste."

Norman felt his friend's mighty pat on his shoulder.

"Thanks. What would I do without you?"

"You would pay another one!"

"Probably..."

It was their classic exchange, a bit cynical but that masked a deep trust and mutual recognition. Norman entrusted his life to that man every day and would have entrusted him with that of his sons and all his loved ones. He had been with him for years, sometimes he was surprised how he managed to anticipate his moves and even his thoughts.

"Are you nervous?"

"No..."  
He hesitated a moment longer, before resuming.  
"Yes... But I can do it. I never did it seriously. I know I was already married but I was young and I don't even think I asked. I don't know anymore."  
Norman smiled, turning off his cigarette in the ashtray and staring at the ruined tip of his boots.  
"What do you think she will answer?"  
He finally decided to give voice to his only reason for his anxiety.

"Who? Y/N? Oh, I bet she won't even answer...", his friend answered and it certainly wasn't encouraging.

"How?"

"She will cry... Y/N will cry. And it's the best answer you can get from a woman, to whom you ask to become your wife."

Norman felt like he was freed from a huge weight.  
It was nothing more than a prediction, but it was nice to hear it said by a man like his bodyguard.  
"Okay, but now I'll go! And Norman... It's probably not important, but today Y/N seemed a little strange to me!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I couldn't tell, I left her all happy in front of a crib and when she came out she looked like another person! She was upset... I don't know, maybe it's just the pregnancy. They say that it causes mood swings."

Norman smiled at his friend's concern.  
"Okay thank you... I'll try to figure out what's on her mind! But it doesn't surprise me, you have to take it that way. She's crazy in a lovely way, and my crazy girl!"

A short time after his bodyguard left, he walked slowly towards the room. Upset? What could have happened? Had someone recognized her and bothered her? He now opened the door trying not to make too much noise, he expected to find her already in bed.  
And instead the bed was completely empty, the blankets hadn't even been touched.

"Y/N? Babe, are you here?", he called her, imagining she was in the bathroom, but the door was just next to him and not even the shadow of her was in there.  
He was struck by an unexpected sense of anguish, he knew the house was huge and she could have been anywhere; yet he felt a bad feeling growing inside of him, which forced him to go out into the corridor.  
The house was deserted at that hour, everyone was in their rooms just because they knew he wanted to be left alone that night.

"Y/N?"

He began to look for her more and more agitated. Where could she have gotten herself?  
He looked into the kitchen, expecting to find her in front of one of her unhealthy nighttime snacks, for which he always teased her. The room was dark and the refrigerator didn't even seem to have been touched since their arrival. He took a beer but thought better of it almost immediately, putting it back on the shelf.  
Finally there was a clue, the door next to the kitchen was open, so Y/N had to be out. What if she had already discovered everything, ruining his surprise?  
He took a few steps along the driveway, lit by the yellow light of the street lamps, and reached the pool.  
Here she was, sitting cross-legged on a deckchair, staring at the slight movement of the water.

"Hey... I finally found you..."

Norman came over, brushing the back of her neck softly with his lips and felt her turn slightly in his direction. She didn't seem surprised to see him there but he could recognize something melancholy in her eyes; maybe it was one of those moments when she preferred to be alone.  
He sat down next to her, scanning her profile illuminated by the faint light.

"Trying to free your mind and to relax?", he asked her smiling, pointing to her belly, barely caressed by the white linen suit while the cold breeze moved some strands of hair. Norman stroked her back, approaching her to kiss her again as he used to do but her standing up as fast as she could made him look surprised.

"No!"

It had been an abrupt and absolutely spontaneous response, it almost seemed that she had moved involuntarily away from him.

"Hey... What's wrong?"

"No... Sorry... But I can't do it!"

Now the woman was shaking her head, bringing her hand to her temple, as it happened every time she was hit by one of her strong migraines.

"Is it your head? I'm going to get you something, don't move..."

He couldn't even see her face now that it was hidden behind her hand, but he could sense that something unusual was happening. What was she feeling? Did she laugh?  
When her pale face became enlightened again, he realized that it was really so, Y/N was laughing without looking at him.  
Instinctively Norman found himself sketching a smirk, confused by that senseless reaction.

"What... What's so funny?"

He noticed that there was something out of tune in that laughter, something vaguely hysterical, that was slowly turning into a mocking, almost mad expression.  
He now returned immediately serious, awaiting a clarifying answer.

"What it is? What is it Norman? You should know! It is so... It's so absurd! You should tell me what's so funny!"

On Norman's face was a huge question mark.  
Y/N seemed suddenly crazy and now her eyes full of tears, shone like two gems ready to explode into a thousand pieces.

"I was so stupid... I knew it, I knew why I didn't want a relationship with you!"

"Y/N, what are you saying? What's going on?"

"I've been out here for hours and I keep... I keep looking for a justification at all costs, you understand? A clue that makes me understand that nothing is true, that you are still the person I fell in love with. But I can't find them, I can't see them... Because there are none!"

Tears began to fall just as their eyes met and Norman felt a painful stab in his chest. He felt that he had no control over that situation and his life was slipping away from his hands all over again.

"If only I think about that today I was there, right in front of you... Who knows how much you laughed over me! An enormous asshole and smiling idiot... That's what you are... Who knows how many times you fucked her in that same chair, in which you made me sit down with all your regards! Oh... It's so... It's so pathetic!"  
Her little accent was getting more pronounced with every word and Norman had never heard her speak with so much anger. He was almost scared, he knew how much of a threatening diva she could become.  
"Who knows how satisfied you were to see us both at your feet at the same time! If only I think about it... All those looks, who knows... Maybe you even managed to take advantage of it while I was sleeping! And don't look at me like that, like I'm crazy! I can't stand it... You know it's all true! She's your bitch. Now I understand why you didn't want me to take your damn private plane too!"

Y/N was beside herself, spitting out those words with all the contempt she was capable of. 

"What are you saying Y/N... I don't-..."

"No, you did. I see it in your eyes... You did it and who knows how long it has been going on. You thought I would never know it, didn't you? Did you think I would remain your stupid, not knowing 'girlfriend', while you used to have her around all the time with you?"

I never cheated on you! It's the past you're talking about..."

"And C/N? Is she also a story from the past? Who knows maybe some weeks ago... Or maybe next month, when you go to Japan for the promotion of that video game! I... My god, I can't believe it yet. How did I fall so low? How did I not notice anything?"

Y/N hid her face in her hands again, ashamed of that situation so mortifying to both. She had lived an illusion, she had made enormous mistakes to trust that man and even more to really fall in love with him.

"Y/N! Y/N that is enough! Listen to me! Please!"

"Do not touch me!"

The woman struggled, feeling her hands searching for his. Norman was perhaps more shocked by this gesture.

"Now you have to listen to me, okay? These are stories I've had in the past, when things weren't going good any more between me and C/N. It was sex... Just sex! I swear to you, please believe me. I am in love with you, I never betrayed you. Never!"

"And how do you think I can believe you now? You even did it with the mother of your son... You did it with C/N and you were so in love with her too, or am I wrong! But no... It was all a cover, a big bluff to mislead the press I guess. Oh no... And to think that I also worried about you... I didn't tell you anything because I saw you so happy with her... How could I imagine that in the meantime there was more..."  
Norman tried to intervene but Y/N silenced him, continuing like a flooding river.  
"And all the crap at work, the fact that I don't have to think only of myself, the fact that we are now a family... You don't care about me or our child, you just care about keeping your own business around, as you've always done! I told you... It was clear from the first moment. And it was precisely this that shouldn't have happened! I'm not like that... I can't share you with another woman, I can't do it."

"But you don't share me with anyone! How can I make you understand that I am sincere? I don't want to mind my own business with anyone. Here... Do you want to call C/N? Call her... Call her for god's sake!", he said and began to scroll through the phonebook without even reading the names from the agitation.

"No... Stop it! I won't call anyone! I don't want to know anything anymore! I don't want to hear anything! I just want to be left alone... I just want you to give me an Aspirin and I want to get away from this fucking house and you! I hate you... I hate fucking hate you Norman!"

The sobs began to shake her and he had the instinct to hug her. That whole situation was so absurd. How could she knew all that? What did she still knew? But above all how could she really believe that he was cheating on her with some other woman, right now that they spent all their time together?

"Enough... Enough, it's enough now...", he heard her whisper as she forced himself to regain control and choke back the sobs, wiping her eyes. He realized she was about to leave and jumped up before she could do it.

"What are you doing? We're not done..."

"Oh yes we're done! We have finished everything... I have nothing to say to you anymore! This is over!"

"I do instead... I will not let you end everything here, you understand me? You don't know anything. You didn't understand anything about how things went. Who did it? Tell me who told you these things?"

"It doesn't matter who did it!"

"Yes it does... Someone tried to get between me and you and I need to know who it is and why that person did it! This whole situation does not exist. You've misrepresented everything, I don't even had the idea of being with another woman! And look at me while I talk to you! You know me Y/N... Please look at me! I'm not lying to you!"

"How could I do it? You haven't changed... How can I think you are true to me? And then... I really can't..."

Now she was no longer full of rage, only with sadness.

"Of course you can... You have to do it! You have to trust me!"

Y/N lowered her head, feeling the baby kick. What was she doing? Why did she want to stay there with him, even though she had just discovered what kind of man he was?

"Norman please... Don't make things even more difficult!"  
She was avoiding his gaze, she knew that if he looked into her eyes, she wouldn't be able to resist.

"There is nothing difficult! This situation does not exist... Here are just the two of us! You can't ruin everything because of fear!"

Norman was getting angry, he realized that anyone who talked to Y/N, must have done so knowing that it would break her heart. She was vulnerable, scared and above all she didn't trust him anymore. Yes, maybe in the past he had given way to his companions not to trust but not this time.

Y/N now continued more calmly.  
"Maybe what I'll is just the anxiety or maybe I'm all wrong... But we both know how things are, we know how this story will go. If you stay with me it's just for the baby. You can't wait to start again, you think this daughter is just another child, but she's not. And I'm not just another wife!"  
Norman was troubled to hear her say those things.  
"No Norman, I am Y/N... I will not save you from your monsters. I will not bear a wrong union for the good of the family... Because I don't believe that this is the good of the family! Two wrong parents, chasing each other around the planet. I don't think I can stay home with the anguish of knowing you are on a plane or in some hotel on the other side of the world. And the only thing that now makes you think you can be with me is that you're afraid of losing your daughter. But it is not like that... You will never lose her... Yet it cannot work between us. This is not what I want. And now let me go... "

"Go where?"

Norman was forced to move but he held her by the arm.

"I asked Orlando to pick me up, I'll stay at a hotel tonight."

"What are you saying? No... You're not going anywhere!"

His grip tightened. He couldn't lose her, he couldn't think of her going out of that house, out of his life.

"Leave me!"

She released his grip, realizing that he could do nothing but use force.

"Please Y/N!"

He was following her towards the house, while the lights of two headlights made the path brighter. Orlando must have already arrived, ready to take her away from him. He felt the earth collapse under his feet at every step. He saw her hurry with a firm step, despite being slowed by the weight of her pregnancy. She was running away from him.  
They went into the kitchen and Y/N's phone lit up on the counter.

"Yes, I'm coming!"

The woman hung up and went upstairs to the bedroom to collect her things still in the suitcase.

"I will not let you go through that door, you know it! You can't just leave!"

"Please Norman, don't insist!"

"You can't spend the night at the hotel alone... Not in your condition!"

He was clinging to everything in order not to let her go, he felt anguish and anger growing of so much obstinacy. He had been accused of something he hadn't done, at least not with her, and he had no way of convincing her to believe him, since in the past he had sometimes behaved like that. He seemed to have returned to the last few months with his Ex-Wife but now things were different. That was Y/N, he couldn't even imagine starting again without her.

He now took the suitcase from her hands.

"You can sleep in another room okay? But please stay!"

"No...", Y/N sighed, trying to get back the suitcase, which the man had no intention of leaving. The situation was degenerating, they were behaving like two children and neither of them would have given up.

"Oh... To hell with this bullshit!"

She ran to the next door, leaving him with her suitcase in his hand and went down the stairs.

"Y/N!"

"I'll send someone tomorrow... At least the dress for the premiere I'll be able to take, okay?"

She picked up her purse and opened the door, while Norman couldn't help but stare at her from the stairs.  
"And how... How will you go there?"

"Oh please, don't tell me you're thinking about this! I'll take a taxi... Or are you afraid they'll see us being separated?"

"You know I don't give a damn about what they see!"

If it was cynicism what she wanted, then she would have get it. That provocative behavior only made him more angry.

"Well, we'll see you there then and we'll do as usual!"

"What do you mean?", the man asked and raised an eyebrow waiting for the final stab into his heart, which was about to knock him out.

"We will act."

He saw her go out in slow motion, seeing Orlando sitting smiling in the car as the door slammed shut behind her. 


	21. Chapter 19

'Norman! Norman, look here!"

'Hey, Norman!'

'Norman I love you!'

The whole scene seemed made of only screams and hands and lights.  
The red carpet was always a unique sensation: The barriers, the people gone mad in its passage, the worried expression of bodyguards and security, who tried to protect him from that crowd and their affection.  
With the passing of time he had become accustomed to all that around his person, perhaps he wouldn't even be able to do without it by now. But not that night.  
The after-effects of the drunkenness of the previous night were still felt, even though it was now eight o'clock in the evening. Getting out of the car was the most difficult part, the first impact would have been like an explosion, then everything would have become natural.  
Norman had learned not to smile too much, not to talk too much, not to react too much, it was the only way to keep himself intact. He would follow his manager and be surrounded by his faithful group of bodyguards and collaborators; he would have signed photographs, posters, diaries and even arms, hands and other merch. He would answer the questions of journalists, feeling that they were undressing him with his eyes and he would be still waiting for the flashlights to steal his soul, as Y/N always said.  
That was his only thought: He had woken up on the couch, seeing the room spinning around him, the same room where he wanted to asked her to be his wife. The three bottles of wine prepared by his bodyguard to celebrate, had instead been the only pretext to which he could cling. But the effect of alcohol was over, letting reality collapse on him.

Y/N had really left, she had left him for the stupid mistakes of his past, which he couldn't even make up for if he wanted to. He hadn't wanted to listen to her explanations and he couldn't help but see her getting out of that door. After all he knew that it would happen sooner or later, he knew he should talk to her about that part of his life and he should make things clear once and for all, but he didn't.  
Between him and C/N the passion had been going on for quite some time, the chemistry that united them was so strong that it couldn't be held back most of the time. But it had never been anything more: Attraction, passion, fun. That relationship had undermined the foundations of the story with his Ex-Wife but he had never risked becoming anything more, because he wouldn't allow it and she knew it. Nevertheless the girl had not reacted well to the discovery of Y/N's pregnancy; right now that the story with its historical companion was archived and the one with the colleague was a victim of ups and downs, this diva emerged from nothing, to frustrate all the progress.  
Quite the opposite of his old manager, the confident business woman and mother of two kids, who followed him everywhere, managing his public life better than he could ever have done. Norman had asked himself more than once what went wrong between them, their friendship which was like sister and brother, what prevented a greater sentimental involvement. Perhaps the woman was too practical, too mature. Unlike others she had tried to remain professional at the news of Y/N's pregnancy, but Norman was aware that something had irreparably changed from their chat in the car a few months earlier.

Did Y/N thought so wrong of him to think that he couldn't be faithful at all? That he couldn't live without those presences in his life, although he was sure he was deeply in love only with her? Of course, the past told him that fidelity hadn't always been his best quality when things had become unmanageable and this had done nothing but feed the morbid jealousies of his Ex-Wife.  
Instead Y/N wasn't really that much of a jealous woman, simply because she avoided any situation that put her in a position to doubt her partner. Norman didn't know if this was a sign of strength or insecurity, he only knew that it wouldn't be so easy to be able to regain confidence. That evening he had sworn to her that there had been no one else since they had started their story and it was the truth; he no longer even thought of touching any of them: His Ex-Wife, with whom things were over already for a long time, C/N, who had proved herself as a spoiled and undecided bitch for whom he felt nothing.  
Perhaps Y/N was right when she accused him of looking for another wife in her, to save him from his weaknesses and take him back to the right path, since not even the thought of his children could make him happy by now.  
Yes, perhaps in her, in her reassuring and sensual smile, he tried to find the reason to become a better man and for this reason he had hidden everything from her, he had let the months pass and their relationship grew, convinced that it would be enough to close with the past to be saved. But it was not enough, because someone had to hit him right in his weak point and he had done it, knowing how much Y/N was vulnerable from that point of view.  
He would have done everything to win her back, but he knew that with her, not even dozens of roses and poems would be enough, it wouldn't even be enough to dedicate an island to her, not even to get a tattoo with her name or anything else what came to his mind.

The rest of the day was spent by him with trying to survive and contact her. He wanted to see her before that evening really started, he wanted to clarify everything before launching himself into the fray, but Y/N had turned off the phone. Now he peered among that amount of people looking for him already. He felt kidnapped by the long embrace of the public, people of every kind, of every ethnicity, of almost every age. Everyone was in line from who knows how many hours, just to tear out a look and a smile. Norman was surprised not to feel the usual adrenaline, he even struggled to smile in front of cameras and mobile phones, which filmed his every expression. Right now he didn't care that everyone loved him, if the only person he cared about at that time won't even talk to him.

His bodyguard finally took him away from the crowd and joined the rest of the cast, greeting Jeffrey, his wife Hilarie and the others but not even the shadow of Y/N.

"Hey Norman! Come here... How are you? And Y/N?"

Sooner or later someone would have asked the fateful question. He was recalled by one of the usual journalists with a familiar face. The questions would have always been the same, no matter what movie it was or what show, everything was always repeated in the same boring way.  
He tried to stay focused but suddenly the voice of the speaker forced him to look down the catwalk.

'Miss Y/N Y/L/N everybody!'

There was a car with dark windows and a door that opened, to give a glimpse at the silver high heels definitely too high.  
He remained as stunned by the screams of the crowd in front of that vision, which seemed to come from another dimension. A long dress with silvery reflections, the fabric fell lightly like a veil on the soft line, to which pregnancy had taken nothing of its sensuality; the almost impalpable lace was the most provocative thing Norman could except. He could hear her name being screamed by hundreds of people, as she stopped to sign autographs, take pictures and to thank everyone with her so affable and genuine way. For Norman, answering questions was becoming increasingly difficult now that she was approaching. 

'Y/N... Y/N here!'

'Y/N! Turn around... Look here!'

Norman looked at her out of the corner of his eye, as he lent himself to be eaten by the thousand flashes of the objectives, until she met his gaze. She seemed just an extraordinarily beautiful woman, happy with her work and proud to show her sweet expectation to the whole world. Nothing suggested that it was the same woman, who only a few hours earlier was crying in front of a swimming pool some kilometers away.

'Norman! Where's Norman!'

'Norman! Come here!'

'Together guys... Here! Norman!'

'A photo together!'

He had to expect it. It was no mystery that he and Y/N had an relationship and that in a few weeks they would become parents. The fact that they hadn't shown up together would certainly have been the most juicy topic of gossip magazines in the following days.  
His manager, in her black business suit, motioned for him to approach; as usual it was her who managed the media, with the professionalism that distinguished her even in such an embarrassing situation.  
Norman felt stung by Y/N's Y/E/C eyes as he joined her to pose by her side. He hugged her waist gently, holding back the instinct to kiss her, while he felt that the woman's pale arms remained along her body.

"You look beautiful...", he finally whispered into her ear, triggering even more paparazzi.

"You too.", she replied, displacing him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He was trying hard to act but he couldn't really do it. He wasn't on set, he couldn't pretend that everything was perfectly fine. He was there next to his daughter's mother and couldn't even speak to her freely. Now he heard her approach again. And he knew her, she was giving in too, maybe the contact was too much, both knew that they couldn't resist each other.

"Smile for the press.", she whispered into his ear with an enigmatic smile, while journalists and the public went crazy for what seemed like a gesture of intimacy stolen from the most reserved couple. But he was doing it: Y/N was taking revenge, provoking him in front of everyone; Norman didn't know that part of her character, he had never seen her so cold and controlled in his life. So he tried to smile but wasn't sure that the result was convincing. He hugged her slightly, almost as if to claim some sort of possession and he was embarrassed when the photographers started asking him to place his hand on her belly. Why did they have to be so morbid? It was Y/N who broke away from him, declaring the shots finished to get out of that situation. She approached the rest of the cast, forcing him to follow her and letting the paparazzi continue with the usual photos.  
Norman was struggling to take his eyes off her as he saw her leave professionally to finally get closer to the reporters' microphones. Even he had to resign himself to yet another media torture, starting to say the same things to the second pathetic journalist, while with one ear he tried to steal the words of the woman next to him.

"Oh Y/N, let me tell you... You are absolutely wonderful!"

The young journalist seemed so small in comparison to the actress.

"Thank you... I appreciate that! You're not that bad looking too!", she said, looking down. It was typical for Y/N to make that kind of joke, it was her way of easing the tension: She knew she had all eyes on her, because of her body, the dress, because of her work and especially because of her private life.

"What was it like impersonating Norman's wife on set? A sort of general rehearsal?"

It was that kind of question, which Y/N had been preparing for some time. All they wanted to know was if she intended to become Mrs. Reedus. But it wouldn't have been so simple, it would have given her a hard time. She focused on the beauty of the dynamics between their characters, on the producers work, on the professionalism of the cast, on the costumes and on the responsibility of staging a cult of that genre, making it modern and captivating for today's audience, without deviating too much from the essence of the original characters.

"And so Y/N, is Norman ready for his big debut too?", the journalist asked, pointing to her belly.

"Well... Yes…", Y/N continued to smile, visibly embarrassed. She had to try not to appear so vulnerable when talking about him and above all, she had to try not to gesticulate so much. She placed a hand on her belly, hoping that everything would end quickly, when she felt a familiar touch on her bare shoulder.

"Shall we go inside now?"

Norman's deep voice behind her startled her and made it even harder for her to appear normal.

"Sure!", she answered softly, without taking her eyes off her interlocutor. But this ended faster than the journalist thought and so she took her big chance.  
"Hey Norman wait... So you two have already decided on the name?"

Y/N hoped she hadn't heard well, then only hoped it was Norman who hadn't heard it either, but she knew all too well that he was there behind her and that he had retraced his steps, blocked by the reporter's words. It was a difficult situation, if they had asked him only the day before, everything would have been so natural between them, they probably wouldn't have been able to even untie their hands to sign the autographs.

"Well... The name..."

Y/N felt the man's hand go down on her lower back and turned around to meet his confused gaze; it was as if he asked tacitly for a permission to speak. She therefore decided to intervene to save him from the embarrassment.

"Yes... Let's say we have an idea... But I'm rather superstitious about these things, so I prefer not to say it until we have looked her in the face!"

She gave him a quick glance and finally saw him smile.

"So Norman, I guess you already know what the next tattoo will be!", the journalist concluded, alluding to the fact that he had tattoos.

"Yes... That's for sure!", he replied with an affable smile, which meant the end of the interview.

"Thank you guys! Good luck for the future and already happy birthday for the girl!"

"Thank you so much!"

Norman grabbed Y/N's hand without even thinking about it, to finally drag her away from that hellish mess.

"So I guess you saved me.", she said quickly, while the bodyguard and the other security guys escorted them a few meters away. They entered the hall, hand in hand among the photographers' cameras.

"I called you today..."

"There was no need to speak."

"Where did you sleep?"

"Norman...", Y/N warned him without looking at him.

"Tell me at least how you feel!"

"Finde... Very well, she's just a little rough!"

"Yeah, I could see that."

"From what?"

"From your expression out there..."

Y/N tried not to smile, thinking that he already knew her too well and that she must have had a really ugly expression when this happened. But suddenly she stiffened, seeing the familiar figure in front of the entrance to the main room. Norman immediately noticed the drastic change not only in her expression, but also in his gait; he had the feeling that at any moment she would turn around and run away.  
Y/N's hand untied from his as she passed his manager to join the other colleagues, who were waiting to make their entrance into the crowded hall.

"I can do it alone."

It was her brusque response when Normam tried to help her go down the stairs to reach their seats: More than once they had joked that she would wear high heels, a long dress and would not even be able to see her feet. They sat next to each other in silence, feeling all eyes on them. Y/N desperately tried to focus on the words of the director, who was preparing to present his movie, before the lights went out leaving her at the mercy of memories.  
It was even worse to see themselves as husband and wife on the screen for the first time and to hear the whole audience laughing amusedly while they felt so bad. Each scene reminded both of what had happened: That dressing gown, that stolen kiss, that scene they had to do ten times because Norman couldn't pronounce a joke, or the one in which Y/N was passed out in his arms.  
From time to time Norman would glance at her to see his reactions; he saw her slightly uneasy, both hands on her belly.

"Are you feeling uncomfortable?", he whispered into her ear, seeing her continually change position.  
"Should I bring you a pillow?"

"No, there is no need!"

Y/N saw him change his position and approach dangerously close, she could feel his breath on the neck left uncovered by her hairstyle and closed her eyes, biting her lip.

"Y/N please..."  
Norman instinctively placed a hand on hers and she drew back, as if she was scared of the touch.

"Not now Norman! Please."

He knew it, that was a wrong moment but he hadn't seen her for a whole day and feeling her so close made him mad.

'End.'  
T

he closing credits appeared on the screen and the lights came on amid the applause of the audience. He helped her to get up and saw her leave for the toilet, accompanied by no other than Orlando who literally came out of nowhere.  
Now the second part of the event began, with other interviews for all the main newspapers and the reactions, after the first viewing of the film.  
He saw her reappear and did not even have time to reach her, before she was besieged by a myriad of cameras. When the crowd finally cleared and the cast was left free to go, he managed to catch up with her while some others still collected their stuff.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving. I don't think I can do it until the afterparty. I'm really tired. I guess the others will understand..."

"I'm going with you. Just wait a second!"

"What are you talking about? You can't. Everyone expects you to be there. You have to stay."

"Why? Do you realize what you are doing? There is no reason to ruin everything! Please..."

"Norman please... Not here!", she silenced him, looking around and seeing the looks of those who were curious, who had heard the man's voice getting louder.

"Oh Y/N stop it, who cares about them?"

"Norman, let me introduce you to-..."  
It was his managers voice, who had just approached to present him to some big journalists of the press. Norman saw Y/N's face change in front of the figures and he found himself passing his gaze between her and the newcomers, who held out their hands with a huge smile.

"Yeah... Nice to meet you! Y/N wait..."

But it was too late, the light veil dress was already gone, her being seen next to Orlando hugging her tight and going towards the exit.


	22. Chapter 20

"Norman come on! Did you hear what he said? Come on, let's go home!"

His bodyguard picked him up, trying to get him back to the car. As expected he had left the room completely drunk and had insisted that the driver had taken him to the hotel where Y/N was staying.  
Both men knew how difficult he was to handle in certain situations, the only one who seemed to have a certain ascendancy over him was his manager but this time she wasn't the most suitable person.  
His bodyguard had followed him after the afterparty, seeing him being too upset to go home in that state and ended up resigning himself to his will: In those moments Norman knew how to show off the authority of a leader and there was not much that could be done to stop him.  
Luckily the hotel employee was used to that kind of nightly behavior and hadn't let himself be intimidated by his threats, but he had kindly asked him to leave the hall, without even doing the act of revealing the room number of the actress. Everyone knew who Norman Reedus was and everyone also knew, that he was no stranger to that kind of behavior under the influence of alcohol.  
Now his bodyguard and the driver were trying to get him back into the car, without attracting the looks of the curious. The last thing they needed was a video, in which he couldn't even stand up alone.

"No. I have to see her! I want to see her. That asshole doesn't want me to go up because he doesn't know shit... Tell him! Hey man, we're together... Madame Y/L/N and I are together! She... Didn't you read the goddamn newspaper!"

He was ranting a little too loudly, he wanted to be sure that the hotel employee could hear him through the closed doors. His bodyguard was able to hold him back just in time, before he lost his balance and fell ruinously to the ground.

"Help me to put him into the car!", the bodyguard said sarcastically, when the driver decided to get out of the car to come to help the two men; it was absurd that two men, so big, couldn't get him up.

"Let's go... It's time to sleep!"

The driver took him by his arm, but Norman gave no sign of wanting to give up. It was amazing how much strength he could have.

"She's the fucking mother of my daughter! You can't keep me away from her!"

"No Norman, we don't want to keep you away. But you're too drunk tonight!"

"I'm not drunk .. I just had a few drinks!", he shouted, while the man behind the counter was watching him worried with the telephone receiver in his hand, probably ready to call the police.

"Y/N!"

His voice echoed in the middle of the street, while Norman tried to locate the window behind his woman was hidden.

"Norman! We're in the middle of the road, you'll wake everyone up!", his bodyguard said and began to worry.

"Get in the car man... Get some sleep and everything will be alright!"

"It will not... Nothing will be alright! Y/N! Get the fuck down here! Y/N! These bastards won't let me to you!"

"Please Mr. Reedus, stop shouting. You'll wake up all of our guests!", the hotel employee interwined.

"He doesn't want me to see my own wife!", Norman laughed to himself. His thick, too-sharp voice, tore through the silence of one of the most beautiful avenues at night.

"Don't worry, now we'll take him home! Don't we Norman?"

His bodyguard tried to calm down the atmosphere and distracted himself enough to allow Norman to break free, slipping away from the grasp of the two men. He approached only a few inches from the hotel employee's face, who instinctively turned away.

"Call her. Call her and ask her! Please... Show me the register... Please do something!"

"Norman..."

He looked up behind the few strands of hair which fell into his face and tried to focus on the figure, which was approaching from inside the hotel. It was her, he had no doubt.

"Y/N... I told you! It's her... I told you she would come!"

He went to her, trying to pretend a semblance of being sober that he surely didn't have.  
Y/N looked at him as if he was a madman, clutching her black robe together, from which Norman could see one of the shirts, which she had taken from him.

"Y/N forgive him, he exaggerated a little!"  
The bodyguard was right behind him because of fear that he would do something stupid now that he was in front of the woman.

"I see... Normam it's late, go home."

"No, you come home! With me! Together!"

The woman looked with dismay at the men standing behind, ready to limit the damage, which Norman would maybe have committed. Some of them were paid for that task, but surely everyone was motivated mainly by their deep friendship with him.

"It's too late, I sleep here tonight... I'll see you tomorrow.  
We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

The only thing she could do was to try to be condescending. She had never seen him that reduced in that state and on the one hand she was sorry for him, on the other she was also afraid.

"Tomorrow we have to go back to New York..."

"We'll talk to each other in New York then!"

His lost look suddenly became frowning and confused.

"You... You mean on the plane, right?"

Y/N looked up at the sky, how could she tell him that she wouldn't come back with his private plane?  
"No... I booked a flight for tomorrow morning. I'll fly with Orlando I guess..."

The bodyguard braced himself for Norman's furious reaction, trying to get him away from her.

"You can't do that... Not with him!"

"Norman, come on, you've done enough for today! Can't you see that Y/N is tired? Let her go back to bed, you'll talk to her tomorrow!"

To everyone's surprise Normam didn't get angry, he didn't even try to get close to her but he remained silent, continuing to stare at her as if he didn't understand that the conversation was over.  
He was then dragged into the car without any resistance.

"You can't do that..."  
It was the only thing that he kept repeating to himself even when the car was already in motion and Y/N was away, leaning against the entrance of the hotel, her eyes full of tears and with an enormous weight in her heart.  
  
  
  
Finally they were at high altitude. Norman unbuckled his seat belt, stretching his legs and sighing. His head was spinning, although he had already taken painkillers and had drunk who knows how much water.  
He could hardly remember anything of that night, he only knew that he had seen Y/N, because he had gone to her hotel. He didn't even remember the words they'd exchanged, he just remembered his shirt under her robe and her eyes, which didn't want to follow him.  
Why had he been so stupid? Why had he had to drink that night so much? He knew he couldn't control himself when he was in that state, and the last thing he wanted to do was to scare her or to make a fool of himself.  
He remembered how he had joined her in the same hotel back then and everything had been different: She had let him in silent and allowed him to love her; it was at the time that they had conceived their child, probably in the same room, where she was now hiding to escape him.  
He looked at his watch again, feeling his tongue padded like a towel. What had he been drinking?  
He turned the phone back on, hoping for a phone call from Y/N but realized he didn't have a signal right now.  
He was worried, he had tried calling her a dozen times that morning but she hadn't answered, probably because she was flying to her own destination.  
That woman was so damn stubborn; a journey like that would have been too long and tiring in her condition and certainly it would not have been comfortable.  
He lit a cigarette and intercepted the look, which his bodyguard threw at his desk and turned away at once, hiding behind a cloud of smoke and lowered the window curtain to get some darkness. He tried to get comfortable and lowered the seat, crossing his arms over his chest and hoping that the sound of the plane would make him fall asleep. It was then that he recognized a small box in his jacket pocket and remembered the ring, which he probably would never have given her anymore.  
He closed his eyes, feeling that sense of anxiety growing, which hadn't left him for hours now. What should he do?

"Yes... Wait a moment... Norman? Norman!"

His bodyguard shook him slightly, making him wince.

"Yeah? What's up?", he asked tired and saw the cell phone, which his friend was holding out to him.

"For you!"

"Yeah, sure."

"Norman, is it you?", a male voice asked.

"Yes, who speaks?"

It was strange that someone had his bodyguards number and called him just as they were flying to New York again.

"Norman finally! It's Orlando! I've been trying to call you for hours! I even called your manager!"

"Yeah fuck off and fuck yourself..."

"Me-… You are flying but-... Has happened-... Y/N-... You know-..."  
Norman tried to decipher the words, incomprehensible because of the disturbed signal. Then suddenly he sat up abruptly.

"Y/N? What happened?"

"We don't know yet-... This morning-... With me-... Now-..."

"Damn it, I don't hear you Orlando! Tell me where you are! Tell me where you are now!"  
He tried to punctuate the words, hoping that the man could hear him better than he did.

"At the hospital near-..."

"I can't hear you... Orlando? Orlando are you there? Really? Fuck!"  
He hung up with anger, threatening to throw the phone and stood up, running to the cockpit.

"Reverse the course... We have to fly back as fast as we can!"

The old pilot laughed, looking at him as if he was teasing him.  
"Hey son, what are you saying? We can not reverse anything here, we are not in one of your movies or whatever!"

"I don't care what you can do, we must return immediately!"

Everyone present seemed to realize that he was not kidding, and indeed, his expression presaged that there was something serious happening.

"I have to get back as soon as possible!"

"But I can not go back now... They'll never give me the permission to land!"

"You! You do as I Said! I'll take care of the rest. We got no fucking time!"

"Okay boss... Contact the control tower."

Norman returned to his seat without being able to sit, he was too agitated, he needed to smoke while he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"What happened? Is it the baby?"  
His bodyguard was visibly worried.

"I don't know man... I don't know! I understood nothing! Oh god... It's too early, it can't be born now! How long will it take to be back?"

"I have no idea, half an hour... Maybe an hour..."

Norman sat up with his face hidden in his hands, his bodyguards eyes still on him.


	23. Chapter 21

Y/N opened her eyes and saw the same shutters which parted on the blue sky by clouds. She could hear the machines that marked the rhythm of her heart, which merged with the faster one of the baby, while the drops continued to fall into the infusion.  
She felt exhausted now that the fear had passed.  
She had a hell of a night of; she had just managed to fall asleep when Norman's screams forced her to rush out of her room. She felt sick and looked at him with those two red and unhappy eyes.  
Y/N couldn't stay away from him, only a few days were enough for her to get used to him so much, that she couldn't help it. But she had no intention of retracing those steps, C/N's words continued to echo in her mind, same with her confident, mocking expression.  
After seeing him disappear, she returned to her room, knowing that she could no longer sleep. She was agitated, confused and even the baby seemed to realize her mother's state of mind.  
Fatigue had finally prevailed when she woke up with a startled pain in her back. She had tried to get up to walk a little, but immediately realized that something was wrong: The pain had spread to the lower abdomen, becoming increasingly unbearable.  
She had tried to calm down and breathe, reaching for her cell phone to call Orlando for help. She was alone in that hotel room and had no idea what was happening to her. She had never had contractions in her life and she didn't know if those were the famous birth pains, which everyone was talking about, all she knew was that there was still more than a month to go and that she was away from home and from Norman.  
When Orlando had joined her only a couple of minutes later, he had found her there, in the bathroom of the hotel room, in pain and terrified to notice that she was losing blood.  
The rush to the hospital had been the worst part, the pain returned in increasingly strong waves and the paramedics' eyes of the ambulance didn't seem encouraging.  
She held her friend's hand, thinking how stupid she had been to go to the event and not to listen to Norman's words. Now if anything had happened to their child, he would never have forgiven her and she certainly couldn't have survived such great pain alone.  
She asked Orlando to call him repeatedly, she needed him by her side, while all those voices that spoke to her and all those hands that touched her made her feel dizzy.  
She remembered recognizing the familiar face of the Doctor and immediately feeling more serene when he shook her hand, accompanying her inside the ward.  
Then everything became confusing, the pain grew and then gradually diminished when the Doctor gave her that injection.  
Now she was there, motionless of fear that any movement would precipitate the situation again. They had told her that things had stabilized, the bleeding was now under control and the child seemed to have reacted well. The infusions would help her uterus to relax, so as to stop the contractions and from the visit it seemed that she could stay calm, since there were no signs of dilation.  
She closed her eyes again, abandoning her head on the pillow, waiting for the Doctor to return as he had promised her: He would do an ultrasound scan so she could see that her baby was fine, just as it had happened after the operation a few months earlier.  
She must have dozed off because she didn't notice the door opening and the presence near the bed, but when she opened her eyes she felt his eyes on her.  
She turned around slowly, trying to focus on that figure.

"You finally woke up..."

She felt the hand of Orlando, resting on hers and it was like being invaded by an enormous heat.  
Y/N tried to talk but didn't know what to say; she stiffened immediately, trying to sit up with a mortified expression painted on her face.

"No... Don't worry. The infusion..."

The man got up from his chair, to prevent her from moving further.

"I'm so sorry... I didn't expect... Oh God... I'm sorry I left you alone!"  
The woman's face showed a smile.  
"I called Norman this morning. But how do you feel?"

Y/N swallowed, unable to say a word. Orlando was right there in front of her and he looked at her as if he had been feeling guilty, while she felt so intimidated that she couldn't even form a sensible thought.

"I... Better. I think I feel better."

"I can't imagine the fear you've had! I'm sorry!"

Y/N smiled shyly, thinking about how she must have made him worry about her so much.  
She felt heartened by the presence of him, it was almost as reassuring as having her mother beside her. Now she saw him come back to sit down.

"She'll be a princess just like you, I know that."

"We'll see.", the actress replied and her eyes lit up.

"I can't wait to meet her! And to be honest I was a little afraid of staying here, I don't know how Norman will react. You know, I adore you a lot... When you and Norman got together, I thought you had finally found your way... But then it was over... I think I suffered more from that than you, I just want you to be happy..."

If only they had given her a shovel, Y/N would have started digging her own grave in that room. There was not much to respond to such a declaration of love. She knew how he felt but always tried to push those thoughts away. But Orlando continued, paying no attention to the woman's embarrassment.

"I was worried... I know you are a grown woman, even more than an adult now, but you are still my princess and I know how fragile you can feel. I tried to talk to you so many times to make you come back... I was the one who thought that the good for you was to continue being near me... The truth is that I kinda suffered as much as you did now and I couldn't wait for it to end... I'm sorry... I really am..."

"Excuse me... I don't... I have nothing to do with the end of me living next to you... I had to go because of the role on the show... Really, I swear!", Y/N said, but had no idea where she wanted to go with what she said and those words came out so abruptly.

"No! I didn't mean to blame you darling, I know you had to go... What I wanted to say is that I am so grateful to still be in your life, you can't even imagine!"  
His expression softened and Y/N suddenly had the insane need to be close to those arms, but she remained still, waiting for him to continue.  
"Norman is different from the others you had around you, he always has been... For me, it's not easy at all to be around him, I have to be very patient and very tactful with him. But then there's you... And you know how to be the most generous and devoted woman on this planet, this universe. I couldn't have wished for a better friend than you... You did so much for me and you deserve to be happy. Even if it's with him I guess..."

Y/N felt terribly guilty.  
How could she tell him that she actually had been avoiding him for days back then and that she had discovered sides of herself that she couldn't even imagine? And how could she tell him that she had an extreme need that he was there and that she loved him precisely because he was so different from Norman? Was it even 'real love'? Y/N didn't know, she didn't know what to think or to feel or if maybe this was all just a dream.

"Hey, but don't cry now..."  
Orlando stroked her face with a lovely gesture and Y/N blushed slightly, because she couldn't hide her weakness at such a time.

"Can I?"  
An unmistakable voice interrupted that moment.  
Norman stood motionless in the door when he recognized Orlando by the bed.

"Finally! We thought you wouldn't come! Just don't look at me like that!"

Norman came over, lowering himself slightly and met Y/N's lucid gaze, not knowing whether to smile, so unexpected was that situation.  
"Are you all right? What are the doctors saying?"

"Oh, what do you want them to say? Always the same things. Now I'm going downstairs... I think they're waiting for me in the radiology.", she answered.

"I'm coming with you, just wait a minute!"

"Orlando is with me..."

Norman looked at her confused. The time between the plane and the car before arriving at the hospital had been the longest of his life. He had been glued to the phone, but no one seemed to be able to give him more information. He had rushed into the waiting room with his face looking upset and his eyes looking empty and thought he would faint when they told him that Y/N was out of danger and that there had been no premature birth.

"I'll wait for you outside... I imagine you got a lot of things to say.", Orlando said and printed a kiss on her forehead, then turning to Norman.  
He looked embarrassed, worried and angry at the same time. So he stood there for a moment in front of the closed door, turning his back to Y/N and holding his hands over his eyes, looking down.  
When Norman turned around, Y/N saw his tired face. His shiny eyes, still red from the previous evening, weren't hidden by the usual blue lenses.  
He approached without saying a word, until he sat down next to the bed, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly. Perhaps too strong.  
Y/N saw only a slight tremor on his lips and could no longer hold back her own tears.

"Excuse me... Sorry...", she stammered between sobs, as she felt his hand caress her hair.  
She felt so guilty about everything: She had wanted to do as she did every time, she had put her pride, her job and her stubbornness before their child's health and now she felt like she deserved that punishment; her, not the baby and certainly not Norman.

"It's okay... Everything's fine... Don't cry..."  
Norman kissed her forehead, realizing in turn that she hadn't recovered from her fear yet.  
"I missed you so much..."

"I missed you too...", he heard her whisper before sniffling.

"I know I was wrong not to tell you anything about those stories... I know you don't trust me. But give me the chance to show you how much I love you. Please Y/N, don't leave. I need you..."

Y/N just kept crying, she didn't have the strength to tell him anything, she didn't have the strength to keep on staying away from him, even though she was so afraid of what she felt for that man.

"I just ask you this... Give me a chance. We have all the time we want, we have known each other before and you shouldn't have so many doubts. But we will do it, we will learn to do it while we will get to know our daughter! I know you're confused now and I don't want to take advantage of your weak moment to force you to play the perfect family. But I know I love you. I really love you Y/N and that's regardless of the child and I will continue to do so even if you don't want it. I can't let you go for my own mistakes in my past, do you understand? Let me stay by your side, because there is no other place where I would like to be and as you saw I can't stay anywhere else without doing damage..."

She squeezed his hand tightly without answering anything and was no longer sure of anything now, she wasn't sure he was the person he claimed to be, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to be again in that kinda story, when all her life she tried to avoid just that kind of overwhelming and total passions, for which she always ended up losing control. But by now she had already lost control, and had done so since the first night she had walked barefoot along the corridor to his room.  
She now clung to his embrace, feeling safe at last and wished she couldn't leave it anymore.

"Can I? Sorry if I interrupt."  
The smiling face of the Doctor surprised them in that moment of anxiety and happiness together.  
Norman broke away and wiped his eyes in embarrassment. He went to meet him, wiping his hand on his trousers, before stretching it out to the man.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything you did. You saved her for the second time!"

"For heaven's sake... It's my job! I have to admit that I didn't expect to see you again so soon.", he laughed: "But I hope you understand that the journey was a risky move, that I would have absolutely NOT allowed..."  
The accent on the last words was expressly addressed to Y/N and she replied with her most guilty gaze, like a child scolded by her parents.

"I have to admit that I don't think it's related to what happened this morning. Tell me Y/N, you have already felt some contractions, even painless ones... Does it happen at night?"  
.  
"It happens and her back Doctor... Her back hurts a lot, I don't know if it's a normal thing."

The Doctor smiled, sure to see a scene already known.

"That could depend on the change in posture or maybe the position of the child. We cannot even exclude that these are the after-effects of the accident."

"Yes, I have to admit that last night I also had severe back pains, but then they were gone... I never imagined I would risk an early labor..."

"In these cases one cannot always foresee... What worries me is something else. We have averted the detachment of the placenta but it is necessary that you rest as much as possible. I will get in touch with your Doctor in New York, so he will send me all the necessary documentation."

"But... So I won't be able to go home?"

The doctor cleared his throat, flipping through the folder quickly, without really reading it.  
"I should advise you against another journey..."

"But tomorrow there will be the premiere of the film!"

Norman looked at her with a mixture of amazement and resignation  
"Y/N!", he admonished her, but he knew he couldn't get angry with her, since he too would have asked the same thing.

"I can't force her to stay here, but I have to recommend her with the utmost caution. The myolene tablets that I will prescribe will help keep the contractions at bay, hoping that it will reach at least the 36th week. I will not tell her to be stuck in bed but it is necessary that you try to keep any tiring activity to a minimum and follow all the instructions I gave her: Mostly magnesium and iron. She needs to eliminate stress and above all, try not to be alone anymore. To give the green light to the trip, I would like to wait a few more hours... Clearly I would be calmer if I knew that on the plane there is a specialized staff, prepared to handle an eventual emergency."

Norman couldn't avoid her gaze. The staff on his plane was certainly not able to handle anything from that genre and above all he knew that the woman would never even let herself be touched by a flight attendant.  
Suddenly he was enlightened and turned back to the Doctor.

"Come with us!"

"Sorry, what?"

"Yes. You will come with us, so you can monitor the situation closely and we will be calm. You will be our guest for a couple of days, even for the whole weekend if you want. You will be able to take part at the premiere, if you wish and you can make a tour through New York! Please... I will pay you the double of what you get daily!"

The Doctor looked at him with a confused and frowning expression.  
"But it's not a question of money. I honestly don't think I can leave..."

"Oh, I'll talk to your superiors. I am convinced that they will understand the situation!"

Of course they would have understood, not even a madman would have said no to the offer to follow some of the most famous actors at the moment. The result would be excellent publicity for the hospital and his personal career. But he was not convinced, there was something that prevented him from consenting as he would if the same request had been made by anyone else.

"Maybe he's worried about his wife? You can also bring your family if you wish. A nice vacation, I bet you will enjoy it!"

The Doctors eyes went from his face to that of the woman, who lay on the bed just a few meters away from him, begging him with her eyes. How could he say no to them?

"Okay... I think I will have to cancel some appointments and of course I will have to inform my superiors immediately... I still prefer to come alone, this is work for me."

"Thank you... Thank you so much Doctor! You have no idea what this means for us!"  
Norman shook his hand gratefully again.  
The Doctor stepped back slightly embarrassed, adjusting his white coat and feeling more and more uncomfortable in front of his patient's eyes.  
What was he doing?


	24. Chapter 22

"Okay, Y/N try to relax as much as possible. I'll try the pressure now that we're at high altitude. It's always better to check and that you don't get up too much..."  
The Doctor helped her pull up her sleeve, looking for the most suitable point.

"When will be the next check?"  
Norman was next to them, monitoring all the doctor's movements, as if trying to understand the secret of his job; probably that was just the typical watchful eye that the Doctor had seen on so many actors: It seemed that they studied every gesture to be able to bring it back to life on set.

However, the man felt pressured and looked at his watch to distract him.  
"Let's see... A couple of hours more. Every 6 hours will be fine... How are the contractions going?"

"No contractions yet!", she answered smiling and felt much better while she had to admit that the doctor's presence calmed her.

The journey promised to be quite difficult for him, he was terrified that he would end up committing some foolishness of his and that Y/N for her part would lose her head at the slightest provocation.  
He tried to concentrate on the conversation that Y/N and his bodyguard were having; they seemed to be enjoying the bodyguard's jokes, which despite its usually surly character, loved to tell those amusing anecdotes about Norman and their travels around the world.  
Y/N contagious smile had returned to her usual one and it was normal for even the stiff Doctor to feel at ease with her, now that he had abandoned his white coat. They talked about movies in cinemas, politics, music, until Norman collapsed exhausted into his seat, overcome by lack of sleep and hangover.

Y/N stood up for a while peering out of the window, trying to get to sleep, but no matter how hard she tried, those seats still remained too uncomfortable for her.  
"I think it's time for the pills."  
The doctor's voice averted her thoughts, passing her a little tablet with a glass of water.

"Thank you."

"Inconvenient isn't it?"

Y/N nodded, smiling at him; he was already too grateful for agreeing to make that trip and she didn't want to give him the impression of being a capricious and insatiable patient.

"Why not try to lie on one side? You will see that you will feel better!"

"And how?"

"Oh, I show you. Come on, get up."

The man helped her up and began to tinker with the seats, under the watchful eye of the bodyguard, who watched him closely: In many years of traveling on that plane, no one had ever even thought of an accommodation so practical and functional.

"Come on, take the opportunity to take a few steps, it will do you good, believe me!"

Y/N looked puzzled but started walking toward the toilet, while her legs felt heavy. When she returned, he found a perfect bunk made with two fully lowered seats and complete with cushions.

"Please Mrs. Y/L/N..."  
The Doctor helped her lie down, taking off her shoes.  
"Get up... You will see that holding this pillow between your legs will help with your back, sometimes the pain comes only from a wrong position."

Y/N obeyed, as she saw him return to sit right in front of her.

"Why are you laughing?", he asked, also amused.  
The actress was caught off guard, not even realizing she was smiling. She was undecided about the best answer to give. Maybe she should have told him that at first she thought he was one of those doctors with his nose so high that he couldn't even see anything anymore? Or that she had hated him, because he hadn't stopped the operation a few months before?

"It's nothing... But this is awesome."

"Well... It's my job."  
The man's smile astonished her: The unkempt beard and his small, intense brown eyes lit up with an almost childlike light when she smiled.

"Oh no... It's not just a job. It was really kind to accept. I know we asked you a lot, I wouldn't want you to think that we took advantage of it... But to be honest, I feel like I took advantage of it... But if so then it's only because of Norman!"

The man's smile turned into an amused expression.  
"Look, you both are also quite famous around here..."

"Yeah well... I didn't mean that..."  
Y/N felt even more embarrassed, probably never going to be used to being considered a star, as they called her.

"Will I never get this label away from me?"

"I wouldn't take it off if I were in your place!"

They both laughed.  
That man was really surprising, he didn't even seem the same that in a dry and professional tone, he had confirmed her pregnancy all those months ago.

"Did they ever tell you that you actually look like an actor?"  
Y/N could no longer resist, she had wanted to say it for too long. The man looked at her in surprise, raising both eyebrows.

"Really? And who do I look like? Christian Bale or what?", he said and laughed.

"Hey this was meant to be a compliment!"

"Thanks for the compliment then!"

His smile faded slowly as he shifted his attention to his hands before focusing on the clouds outside the window. It almost seemed that he regretted opening up with her, as if he had gone too far. Usually Y/N was not one who loved to chat, she preferred to spend her journeys in silence, enjoying the view and maybe a good book, but this time it was different; it would have been interesting to find out more about that doctor. Now both were distracted by Norman, who had started snoring next door.

"I tried not to be too strict in front of him, but now I have to tell you: You risked a lot tonight. It surprises me after everything you were going through... I thought you understood that you took a big responsibility when you decided to keep his daughter."

Y/N felt her heart sinking. Of course, there was no need for the Docotor to point out what she already knew, but seeing him so open and sincerely worried made her feel even more guilty. How could he think she had taken the mother's role so lightly?  
Both remained silent. Y/N could feel his gaze on her and she didn't have the courage to meet his eyes, so she concentrated on her light jeans, hoping that everything would end.  
The more he looked at her, the more he realized that there was something about that woman that could not be ignored, he had felt it from the first day, when he presented himself to his patient. He had spent years in the university and then in the ward before deciding on his specialization; he had thought of devoting himself to neonatal pediatrics but then he realized that there was nothing more beautiful than to hear the first cries of a life that began, combined with the cry of a mother, who welcomed that life in her arms. And now, after months of problems, tears and hopes, here he is again, with one of the many women who had entrusted her child's life to his care.  
Y/N was the last person he imagined seeing again after the last time they said goodbye; he thought she had gone out of his life forever, when fate had brought her back on her way and he hadn't been able to tell her no and certainly not because she had been one of the most famous actors in the world to ask him. He had failed because that morning, when he had looked through the doors of the emergency room, he had felt a knot in his stomach and for the first time since the beginning of his medical career, he had had to make an incredible effort to appear calm, while trying to reassure his patient.  
He couldn't say what had made him fond of Y/N more than the other women, perhaps all the obstacles he had to face, perhaps the way she had done it or who knows, maybe just the fact that she had just a face of a mysterious and beautiful woman. All he knew was that with her he felt at ease, as he hadn't for a long time, and perhaps he felt he was ready to face certain ghosts of his own past, thanks to her trust.

"He thinks I'm an egoist, right?"

"What?"  
Those thoughts had distracted him and now he didn't even know what she was talking about.

"As soon as we arrive in New York we'll go home to put the luggage down, so you'll have plenty of time to take a shower and rest for a couple of hours. Clearly you don't want to come to the premiere, maybe you don't even care about it, don't you?"

"Oh no... I mean yes, I'd love to come! Just don't show me off on the red carpet!"

Y/N laughed, imagining the scene and the confusion that this man would have created.

"But I don't need you to stay with me, I have a house in New York already."

"Really?"  
Y/N was amazed by that. If there was one thing she could never have imagined, it was that this man could have something to do with New York.

"Yes, it was my parents' house."  
The man hesitated for a moment, suddenly feeling uncomfortable on the chair.

"Where are they now?"

"Away."

Y/N became serious, sensing that she had touched a sore button.  
"Oh sorry... I didn't want to... You don't need talk about it..."  
She could never say the right thing in those moments. Surely the last thing he needed was to be pitied by a stranger, who told him how terrible his past was.  
He instead smiled at her serenely, which left her stunned and looked at the clock apprehensively, the flight would last at least eight hours and he couldn't prescribe anything, except perhaps the classic Tylenol, which he clearly didn't have with him.  
He measured her pulse at the wrist, a useless but routine gesture for him and checked her eyes.

"Can I tell you something? I have no idea how his son will see this child. Maybe he will never see her as his sister... What if he won't accept her? I know, I should be a little more resolute, I should fight for my daughter but when I think of it, I feel terribly guilty.", Y/N suddenly said.

"Guilty?"

"Yes. And it's not that simple..."  
She sat up and sat down again.  
That thought always managed to make her feel a little sick, she tried not to think about it but C/N's resentful words had only been a confirmation of what she had already thought and feared from the beginning.  
She sat cross-legged on the fully lowered seat, torturing her hair, which now, in the bright sunlight, gave a clear glimpse of the Y/H/C reflections.  
"Since the breakup, they had talked about me, not C/N, do you understand? She hated me even then and even though at the time there was nothing between me and Norman, how do you think they will see it? The truth is that the more I know him the more I realize that he belongs to his old family and as much as I try to think positively, I continue to see him with them: That is his place! Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just a parenthesis, a mid-life crisis. I mean, I never told you, but I think it was pretty obvious when I arrived in the hospital... This baby was'nt wanted at first, neither of us were ready for this and neither of us wanted her. Probably by now we would all be in our own hotel, waiting to see each other again at another press conference, before he can return to his iwn life, to his son and his friends. Maybe his Ex was right, none of us will ever give him what that woman gave him. She was the love of his life and certain loves last forever... Who am I to put myself in the middle of that?"

The Doctor was speechless, there was such resignation in the woman's words that he couldn't find a way to reply. Y/N did not seek consolation, she did not want someone to tell her that they were just fears and that everything would be fine, she had exposed it like this, as an objective fact, as if it was something that already happened and inevitable. And yes, she accepted it.  
Of course, he understood that she wasn't happy about the pregnancy. She needed a little longer time than others to get used to it, but in the end she had made it, she had turned into a mother and now the Doctor felt disarmed, because he didn't know how to help her.

"Oh sorry... I didn't want to annoy you with all my paranoia!", Y/N smiled, trying to ease the tension.

"No... What are you saying? I just believe that the situation is not exactly as you described it."

"I don't know, it all seems so wrong to me. Sometimes I don't even have the courage to talk about his son, because it seems to me like a taboo subject... Yet it is the thing that he loves most in the world, he lives for him!"

"And don't you think he will live for your daughter too?"

"Sure, he will... But in a different way. I know that Norman will be the best father in the world, I'm just afraid to see the moment when he realizes it was wrong to have a child with me... Maybe this little girl should have C/N as her mother. Maybe she won't even be as perfect as his son..."

The Doctor now didn't hold back any longer and knelt on the ground only inches away from her.  
He didn't touch her, he didn't want to invade her private space but he felt that what had just happened between them, went far beyond the classic doctor-patient relationship. He spoke to her in a lower voice, searching for her gaze, which remained hidden by the long dark lashes.  
"Y/N, your baby will be absolutely perfect. You have seen the ultrasounds, the amniocentesis... I have subjected you to any type of examination and certainly also in New York they will have been equally scrupulous. It is healthy and with a genetic background like yours, I bet it will be one of the most beautiful creatures in the world! But it doesn't matter... Because Norman will love her anyway, indeed he already loves her... Exactly like you do! This does not detract from his other child. I know you have no idea what it means, but I do and believe me, I don't know what this woman told you, but people change. You love, you design, you think it will be forever and then it will end and it takes so much courage to turn the page and get back into discussion, like he did... But now if you keep thinking these things, you'll end up ruining your relationship even before you really start it again. Hey, smile!"

And Y/N tried to smile. She who usually remained closed in her shell, felt like knowing that man for a lifetime; perhaps this feeling stemmed from the fact that he was the person who knew more about her and her body than anyone else as a Doctor. That thought made her slightly embarrassed. She was talking to her gynecologist as if he was her psychologist.

"Now... Now I think it's better to walk a little, sitting here is making me feel sick!"

The Doctor took both her hands and helped her up to her feet again. The bodyguard looked at her perplexed but she calmed hin down and headed for the bathroom.  
That 'headache' was threatening to drive her crazy.


	25. Chapter 23

Norman's eyes snapped shut, still pretending to be asleep. The Doctor was asking for water and crackers probably for Y/N, who had just disappeared into the bathroom.

"Is everything alright?", he finally asked, feeling forced to speak to him.

"Yes... Y/N has a bit of a headache..."

Norman shook his head in thought.  
"I shouldn't have allowed this trip!"

"Well, she doesn't seem like a woman who listens to everything others tell her."  
The Doctor had hit the mark exactly as he had minutes before, when Norman had heard Y/N reassure him about her love for him.  
He didn't know why he had eavesdropped so shamelessly without letting anyone know he was awake; it was not like him, in fact he would have been furious if he found out that someone had done the same to him. He had woken up hearing the name of his son and was amazed to hear that this was Y/N's voice and was even more struck by the words that followed, not even imagining that behind the woman's reluctance to a relationship with him could be hidden behind these fears. The fact that she had thought of his son's reaction to their baby, her fear of not being good enough to that kind of situation. Her guilt towards his son and his Ex were perhaps things he could have imagined given the complex personality of the woman but he certainly did not suspect that those thoughts tormented her to such an extent that she wished to let him return to what she considered his family.  
Y/N didn't think of them as a family because she was still convinced that he could not be detached from the previous one.   
He then regretted not having forced her to meet the boy, he regretted never having spoken to her much about it.  
But it wasn't all about that: Norman was struggling to accept that uncomfortable feeling of being not good enough compared to the man so normal and charming.

Now his thoughts were distracted by the Doctor again, who had suddenly stood up heading towards the bathroom.

"What's going on?"  
Norman's instinct forced him to follow him, sensing that it was about Y/N.  
The Doctor repeatedly knocked on the bathroom door still locked from the inside.  
"Y/N, are you alright?"

"Yes... Just give me a moment...", she answered but it didn't sound like the voice of someone who was fine.

"Open the door!"

Norman looked for an answer in the doctor's increasingly worried expression.  
It took a few moments before the lock clicked, letting them enter the tiny bathroom.

"What's the matter with you?"  
Y/N stared at them with a questioning look, unable to understand what was happening.

"Do you feel okay? Are you feeling dizzy? Tachycardia?"  
The Doctor took her wrist, looking at his watch.

"Yes... I mean no, I'm fine! I only have a headache but we know that it's normal. But why are you looking like that?"

Y/N slipped her hand away from the doctor's grip and left the bathroom while Norman turned his confused and annoyed glance towards him.  
"Okay nothing... In some cases the treatment you are doing can have side effects... There are women who do not hold it and can have serious consequences. For a moment I thought I had underestimated your headache, that's all!"  
The Doctor's apprehensive and professional expression had given way to a slight blush of embarrassment while Norman closed his eyes, breathing slowly again.

"That's all? You must stop letting me get these scares or I'll end up needing a doctor!"

They all went back to sit down, feeling more relieved after that little moment of panic.  
Norman saw the man's eyes, which escaped Y/N's gaze, as if they couldn't sustain her sight for a second longer. The woman seemed not to realize it, maybe she was used to arousing those reactions in men but Norman was now nervous and stiff as the Doctor explained to her how to relieve headaches with massages and homeopathic treatments. He looked at her, so professional and concentrated as he touched the points of the neck and shoulders which she should have been pressing; Norman then realized that he was annoyed by the scene, by his hands touching her and by the fact that he almost felt like the third wheel in that situation.  
What was he thinking? That was her doctor, he did nothing but his job and it was good that she trusted him so much.  
His bodyguard's gaze only pierced him then, telling him that he had understood perfectly what was going through his mind.

The hours that followed were endless, until the pilot gave the announcement that they could fasten their belts for landing.  
YN had slept most of the time and Norman, while trying to distract himself, hadn't been able to take his eyes off her for a moment.

"Apparently the doctor cares about his patients very much..."  
The bodyguard's words arrived like razor so sharp just as they were about to get off the plane and Norman gave him a look that needed no explanation.  
"Come on Norman... You can't tell me that you didn't notice!"  
He looked around, making sure no one was on board anymore, before approaching the man's ear dangerously. Norman could feel the touch of his hand, which lingered on his shoulder.  
"If I were you, I would keep my eyes a bit more open Mr. Reedus!"

The wind and the light rain in New York hit him like a thousand needles; he wrapped himself in his scarf and followed the group, which was moving away towards the bus that was already waiting.  
He looked at Y/N, who walked slowly beside the Doctor while the words of his friend continued to echo in his head. Yes, of course he had noticed: The harmony between him and her was so obvious, probably they didn't do anything to hide it. Yet from the outside the eyes of that doctor couldn't lie when they lingered over her, when his face opened up in a contagious smile or while his worried and careful expression followed every movement of the woman.  
It only took a few hours to realize that the Doctor had not chosen to make that trip for personal reasons, money or prestige but because Y/N was not a patient like any other he had.

Norman quickened his pace and joined them on the bus.

"Hey... What's up?", Y/N said and put her hand on his leg, noticing his frown.

"Nothing... Nothing really! Let's go now, it's already late!"

Certainly it hadn't been very convincing, probably Y/N had sensed that the bodyguard had something to do with it and she was certainly not happy about it but pretended that there was nothing.  


  
The bodyguard opened the door, holding the umbrella to protect them from the rain.  
The screams of a lot of crazy fans echoed from both sides of the avenue as Norman adjusted his coat and waved. He turned around and held out his hand to Y/N to help her get out of the car. The look they exchanged before she appeared in the spotlight was an unspoken mutual encouragement: They were about to go on stage, that would be the first official release together, since they had arrived separately at the event back then. All that had happened in the last hours, the quarrel, the shelter, the flight, would have remained distant for at least a few hours.  
The screams became even more deafening to the sight of the woman, who instinctively shook herself to protect herself from the cold. She was absolutely perfect in that dark dress, which left her shoulders bare.  
Norman took her by the hand as they stepped onto the red carpet and was surprised by himself when he realized that he felt incredibly lucky and proud in showing himself next to that creature. They no longer had to hide, they would not dribble any questions, they were a full-fledged couple in his eyes.  
The constant presence of his manager loomed as always behind them: It was her who accompanied them, it was her who managed the flashes of the photographers and the times of the interviews, dealing with every detail that concerned public relations and that wouldn't change.  
They were forced to separate to sign autographs and release the other interviews, it was the practice and they both knew they had to keep a serious professional profile first, without falling into easy gossip.  
Everything went smoothly and finally the bodyguard was able to take them away from the fans to enter the theater, where they found Jeffrey and Hilarie, also invited to the premiere. They waited for Y/N to reach them too, seeing her still besieged by the photographers and finally she entered.

This time Norman was allowed to help her down the stairs and made her sit in the place reserved for her, in which she had already prepared a bottle of water and a pillow.  
Y/N smiled at him, reminding him how much he was apprehensive and how much she loved him for that too and the lights went out.  
Norman couldn't watch the movie, he didn't care much, he felt the Doctors gaze behind him and his own growing anxiety, which grew even stronger with every scene.  
He turned to Y/N, who seemed completely taken in by the vision of the film; he knew that she didn't like to see herself on the screen again, probably on other occasions she would have avoided the torture, but Norman had insisted on seeing it all over again. He saw her make a grimace at one of the jokes as she instinctively brought a hand to her belly, before turning in his direction, feeling observed.

Their eyes finally met.  
"Hey, what's up?"

Norman shook his head, smiling a little in confusion.  
There was nothing, he was just happy right now. He decided to reach into his pocket, now only a few scenes were missing at the end and the box was still in place.  
It was not exactly the way and the place he had imagined to take that step; he knew that Y/N would have preferred something more intimate, but all he had thought of were gone for so many reasons and so many times, that he had no intention of losing any minute more.  
If there was a place to do it, well... Then it was this cinema. They were part of that world, they had grown up in that world, they had met, thanks to it and now they were there, in front of a huge screen, which portrayed them as a couple that was not perfect but in love, just like they felt.  
Norman took his hand from his pocket to place it on the one the woman still held on her belly and felt the little rhythmic strokes of the baby. He was excited, almost like it was a sign.  
Y/N looked down as she felt small taps, this time on her hand and realized that it was Norman who wanted her attention.  
In the dark, however, she did not notice the new ring, which now shone on the man's little finger.  
She then returned to concentrating on the images, turning away annoyed when he heard him insist again.  
This time he squeezed his hand into a fist, hiding his fingers and showing her only the one on which the great garnet shone, surrounded by a myriad of diamonds.  
Y/N looked up at him without understanding and then he saw her excited eyes, which shone in the light of the images.  
He returned a look at first incredulous and then moved, he could feel how agitated she was as he slipped that fantastic jewel from his finger, hoping she would offer his hand to slip it onto her ring finger.

Suddenly Y/N no longer knew what was happening around her: Norman was so close and his eyes asked her that one question, which she wouldn't have expected.  
She didn't know what to do, she had never thought about it.  
The screen was giving away the last Y/N felt tears rise to her eyes, blurring Norman's face as she held out her trembling hand. It was then that the credits started and the hall was invaded by a huge applause. The lights lit up their radiant and dazed expressions at the same time.  
Y/N hid her face on the man's shoulder, hoping that they wouldn't notice her tears of happiness and he tried to thank the audience in the hall, realizing that he didn't even remember one of his consummate actor's tricks.  
It was incredible, Y/N had said yes.  
He looked at the woman's hand before rising from his chair to greet the audience, who still cheered them.  
If only they had imagined what had just happened in their life.  
The interviews that followed were rather difficult and challenging for both; he and Y/N couldn't help exchanging looks that were a little embarrassing from one end of the room to the other, as if their faces couldn't hide what they felt from the whole world.  
They couldn't have said if it was happiness or perhaps only anxiety, mixed with confusion and excitement and the strangest thing was that they had not exchanged a single word yet.

"Norman, were are ready here whenever you want!"

His manager had approached his ear while a reporter was asking him once again how fun it was to impersonate Y/N's husband in fiction and if he was going to turn fiction really into reality.

"Excuse me, now I have to go!"  
He tried to leave, looking for Y/N in the crowd.

"Won't you be at the party?", asked the journalist unprofessionally but very provocatively.

"No... Not tonight. We have just arrived, it is better that my women gets a little rest."

It was clear that he was referring to Y/N and the child and the journalist seemed to almost fall down after that declaration.  
He greeted them with his usual knowing smile and finally reached his manager again.

"Are you sure you want to go now?"

"Sure...I've never been so sure!"

He couldn't wait to be alone with his future wife.  
They joined Y/N, who was besieged by the photographers again along with Jeffrey and Hilarie and noticed the doctor and the bodyguard in a corner, who were probably waiting for them to leave.

"Come on Norman, what are you doing there?"  
He was forced to join the group of friends for the ritual shots. Hilarie put her arm around his waist, tiptoeing with him slowly back to the others.  
"Did you do it?"  
Norman tried not to smile too much, caught off guard by his friend's watchful eye.

"Okay, that's enough!", the manager decreed the end of the siege and they all managed to proceed to the exit.

"Great guys... Good job!"  
Jeffrey congratulated them both, he was really fascinated by that reinterpretation of such a famous classic.

"Oh I'm sorry. This is the doctor, who took care of me. Also on the plane to tell the truth.", Y/N suddenly said when she saw him standing alone.

"Wow... Who wouldn't want a doctor like that?"

"Hilarie!", Jeffrey scolded her, introducing himself to the man with his usual behavior.

"But everything is alright Y/N?"

"Yes, I had some problems yesterday, but now everything is under control!"  
She sought confirmation in the eyes of the doctor, who looked reassuring.  
Hilarie seemed to be the only one to notice the look Norman gave to both of them and continued.

"Your expression looks a bit uncomfortable."

"Maybe because she has just agreed to become Mrs. Reedus... I think she is already regretting it right now!", Norman said and hadn't resisted with that joke while he wanted the whole world to know that she said yes.  
He felt the embarrassment of Y/N, who probably would have wanted to dig a whole, while everyone congratulated them, observing with curiosity and admiration the ring on her finger.

"It was about time!"  
Jeffrey's embrace was the confirmation that he had done the right thing.

"Congratulations then!", another voice suddenly said and the doctor's eyes met Norman's as he hugged Y/N to wish her good and he realized that he would never have made such a blatant gesture if he had not felt threatened by the presence of the man.  
They shook hands, peering at each other.  
The doctor had no reason to be angry with him and indeed seemed very happy about those news, but Norman felt like he was fighting some secret battle with another man again, of which he was still not sure if he was really the winner...


	26. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here I am again! I hope ya'll still like the story and I know this chapter is like the same length than the previous ones and I enjoy writing it. But to be honest, the chapter would've been MUCH longer but I ended it, so it maybe will make ya'll feel a little lost.
> 
> Now let's give Y/N and Norman some peaceful time... But not for too long...
> 
> Enjoy the reading!~
> 
> \- Kate

"You really are a diva..."  
Norman held her slightly to him, stroking her cheek before the sound of the timer interrupted them.

"What is it now?"

He broke away, looking for the source of that new noise. Y/N had the bad habit of putting timers and alarm clocks around the house, knowing that it was the only way to remember anything, from dinner, to the dishwasher, to medicines.

"This must be the washing machine... I think it has finished."

"Sooner or later you will give me a heart attack because of these alarms!"

"Oh, stop it! Now why don't you take advantage of it to empty it while I finish preparing everything here?"

Norman looked up while Y/N blew on the spoon before tasting the sauce.  
"Could you remind me once again why we don't have someone else thinking about these things?"

"Because we can take care of them and we will!"

Norman had tried all his ways to convince her but there had been no way, Y/N didn't want anyone else to take care of their home, shopping or laundry, even now since tge pregnancy required her to rest more.

"We'll only do it because you are a stubborn and childish diva and can't understand that it would be better if someone would help us!", he laughed.

"How many times do we have to discuss that?"

"Until I convince you that you must rest and can not deal with everything as before until the pregnancy is over!"

Y/N then decided to look at him annoyed.  
"Norman this isn't a residence, you don't need a maid for a dozens of rooms... And now we are both at home, why should we call a stranger to wash our damn clothes?"

"Oh, you see that? And this? It bothers you that there would be someone you don't know in your house. I bet I bother you too!", he laughed again.  
It was known that Y/N loved her loneliness and above all she loved that little private corner of her own world, where she could take refuge from everything and everyone.

"Only occasionally!"

Norman took a deep breath, knowing that it was useless to continue arguing with her. He stretched a finger in the crock pot to taste the inviting sauce with an irresistible scent.

"Hey!", she shouted hit him with the wooden spoon.

"A wow to you... And it is not even ready yet! Looks good and tastes good!"

Y/N was a great cook but it was the first time that she tried her hand at that kind of food, which her mother always made her since childhood.

"Okay, ten more minutes! Let's hope it doesn't suck!"

"That seems impossible... And what about this? I bought everything you wrote on the list!"  
He showed her a bunch of chillies, left aside on the counter.

"Oh no, you can put those on your plate. I don't think I could eat them."  
Y/N put her arms around his neck to kiss him on the lips.  
"In fact our little girl will get angry with me if I would eat them."

Norman smiled, remaining glued to her lips.  
"Oh yes? You really think so?"

"Well... She had so much patience with us..."

Norman kissed her again, squeezing her slightly.  
"I'm glad you like the ring... It was Hilarie who convinced me that it is the one you would like the most."

He pulled away to take her hand.  
"I went to someone to explain the meaning of each stone... In ancient times garnet was considered the stone of heroes, it was set in the shields and the handles of the warriors' swords. It was given the power to shine in the darkness, so protective amulets were made to give courage and happiness. As soon as the juweler told me about it I understood that it was the right stone for you... You are a warrior. And these three white diamonds resemble us. The two that becomes three, like our family."

There was no need to look at her to understand that she had tears in her eyes. He kissed her again with more transport, feeling almost like a king in that kitchen in New York City.  
Y/N interrupted that magical moment, to meet his gaze and ask in a more uncertain voice.  
"But your son... I mean, how will he take it?"

"He already knows! I talked to him the other day. When I left you in the store? Everything was ready, I wanted to ask you that evening but then, when I came back, I found you at the pool and-..."

Y/N interrupted him, placing a finger on his lips.  
"Please... I don't want to talk about that anymore! I don't want to talk about your Ex and all the rest anymore. I have decided to trust you and this must be enough!"

Norman felt relieved by those words, they hadn't had the chance to speak after the hospital and, even though he felt that she was more relaxed towards him, he remembered the words well, that he had heard her speak on the plane only the day before.  
He decided to tackle that topic once and for all to reassure her.  
"Listen, you don't have to worry about Mingus... He adores you, you won a long time ago... You don't have to worry about anything... He get's bigger and understands what's happening to me and his mother. He has always been used to traveling and seeing us separately... There is no reason for him to hate you and he understands that that separation does not depend on you, nor on this child. You have to get to know him, I know that you're afraid but I swear everything will be fine!", he said and smiled before he continued in a more serious tone: "I knew it must have been HER telling you all those things..."

"It was the truth..."  
Y/N was forced to look away. C/N had been really hard on her but couldn't tell she had lied.  
Norman sighed deeply, searching for her eyes again.  
"I know... I should have done it... I should have been honest and not ashamed of that time! I made so many mistakes with her... I lost my head..."

"She ... She didn't just say this... She didn't just talk bad about me, she-..."  
Y/N immediately regretted having let those words slip away.

"She what?"  
Norman's voice showed a certain alarm and this made her feel even worse.

"She told me about the old times... She told me that it was never over between you both and that you-...", she started, swallowed and forced herself to finish the sentence: "That you would have wanted a child with her, before I came to rip you two apart..."

Norman felt almost lost at those words. He didn't know whether to be indignant or just sorry. C/N had fallen lower than he imagined.  
"Listen to me Y/N! I don't know what exactly she told you. She loves being the center of attention and probably didn't send down my behavior towards her. How to blame her? Yes, I admit it, I thought about it... I loved that woman or at least I tried! I was fine, I was convinced I could start again but I also did a bunch of bullshit! I was jealous, moody... I acted like a teenager and yes... I also thought that maybe I could create something more. But it didn't happen that way. You know what was there!"

Y/N finally looked him in the eye.

"No... At this point I don't know anymore! I've never seen you so caught up with anyone else. I never even had a doubt that you really loved her! But then I came..."

"Yes, you came! This is what counts! She and I were close but not stable enough."

Norman looked at her pleadingly and pissed off together.  
He knew, he had exaggerated with his Ex, he had gifted her with flowers, expensive and even some little crazy gifts. He had done everything to conquer her and now he realized how little he had done for Y/N in comparison.

"Okay, okay... Enough... Norman that is enough!", she concluded brusquely, gesturing with her hands in front of him, as if to erase the words just spoken. She knew that going on with those conversations would make her feel even worse. She had decided to pass over the words of his Ex for the sake of their child, but above all for the desperate need to believe in the man she loved. She had set herself to live for the day and to base herself only on evidence and on what Norman transmitted to her day after day. But it was tremendously difficult to wipe that mocking laughter of that woman away from her mind.

Norman continued, certain he didn't want to drop the subject.  
"Y/N listen to me, that night at the pool you said a sentence... You said that I still look out after my Ex and that you can't replace her. But you have to know... You can't believe that I want her, I'm not looking for another woman like her. Of course, that time will always be an important part of my life but we have gone further. I chose to start over with you! And not because you remind me of her, not because you play and compose like her... I'm different with you and this ring must prove it to you. You are making me feel reborn Y/N Y/L/N and I don't want even a second from you to hear that you think that you're not good enough in my life."

Y/N looked down, overcome with emotion.  
"You do it on purpose? You want to see me cry at all costs, as if the hormones weren't enough!"

Norman stroked her hair, forcing her to raise her face, to look at him in the warm light of the lamps in the kitchen.  
"This is just the beginning...", he said and kissed her again on the slightly salty lips and then went down to the neck, while his hands lingered on her shoulders.

"What do you think, Norman?", the woman whispered in his ear, teasing him.

He had to stop, biting his lips.  
"I don't think you can do it..."

"I know... The doctor was very clear about that.", Y/N sighed with a mischievous smile, which made him even more aroused.

"We hope this time will pass quickly... I already know I'll go crazy!"

"In the meantime you will leave for a couple of days and surely you will be able to distract yourself..."

"What do you mean? I'm going to promote the movie!"

"Sure."

"Please don't start thinking about these things! Absolutely nothing will happen, okay? I don't even want you to worry!"

"Yes of course..."

"Hey, what are you afraid of? Did you hear what I just said you about us?"

Y/N looked away, torn between suspicion and the desire to believe him blindly.  
"What am I afraid of? You will be on the other side of the country with some terribly sexy women, while I will be here, trying not to roll from one side of the kitchen to the other!"

Norman tried not to laugh but couldn't.  
"Stop it! You have to stop with these stories! You are the most sexy woman with whom I have a story now... I don't look for others!"

"I'm fat!"

"You're not fat! You're pregnant! There is nothing more fascinating in the world!", he said and stroked her belly gently: "Stop thinking about all that... I know I'm pretty good at ruining beautiful things, but I won't ruin this! Do you believe me?"

Y/N nodded with her eyes closed, fighting against herself and all the thoughts that still tormented her.  
"C/N's gone. The other night, when you announced our engagement, she was gone!"

"Yes, I know..."

"Do you think she's been really so upset?"  
Norman was silent a few second, thinking of the woman walking away in the rain while his friends congratulated them. He hadn't followed her because he knew he had hurt her with such a blatant exit and he knew her enough to know that she wouldn't want to talk to him. Y/N would never have forgiven him such a thing, a sign that the bond between him and her was still very, perhaps too strong at that time. He cleared his throat, concentrating on his hand full, still resting on her belly.  
"She is a very impulsive woman, she probably bothered this way of making such an important thing public, without having talked to me before."

Y/N Y/E/C eyes told him that was not what she really meant. He sighed and pulled his hair back nervously.  
"I don't know... You see, there has been a story between us. But never marriage... Now I think she realized that I'm serious with you like I've never been before."

"She loves you..."

"We had an important relationship but I never managed to fully fall in love with her."

"I didn't ask you how you feel, but what you feel!"

Norman was in trouble now, almost with his back against the wall.  
"I don't know, okay! I always thought it was impossible... But I can't exclude it. I think it all started when you came into my life! That wasn't the case with my Ex-Wife. She simply realized that you are different..."

"Oh perfect! So it's not that she loves you, she simply hates me?"

"But no! I'm just trying to tell you that she considers you a formidable opponent... She has always valued you as a woman, as a professional, I think you are very similar in some ways! And anyway I don't even know what's going on in her head but I know what's going on in mine. And what I want now? In so many years I never looked for that with her. So... Don't you think we should start thinking about a date for our marriage?"

Y/an was taken aback; she had certainly agreed to become Mrs. Reedus but had not yet fully realized what this meant. Suddenly, the cooking pot came to her aid.

"Oh fuck! I knew it... What a mess!"

Norman hastened to turn off the stove and remove the boiling pot, which was now overflowing.

"Do you think it burned a little?"

"No, I don't think so... Try and taste it, since you were so impatient!"

She handed him a slice of bread to be dipped in the sauce full of spices, vegetables and meat.

"Shit that's hot!"  
Norman almost spit everything but forced himself to chew.

"So? Is it still good?"  
Y/N had a disgusted and anxious expression.

"No... No it tastes good! This stuff is fantastic! I've never eaten anything like that!"

"Yes, but that's enough, at least wait for us to sit down!", the woman warned him, seeing him eating a second slice of bread to it.

"Yet you didn't answer me."

"To what?"

"When are we getting married?"

Y/N looked at him with one of her diva smiles as she brought the plates to the table.

"I don't know. Maybe you give me time to give birth first? Or do you want to experience the thrill of marrying a hot-air balloon?"

"In fact, I always dreamed of marrying one but that's okay... So let's see, the deadline is scheduled for the next time... In February? Maybe Valentine's Day, what do you say?"

"Really? Are you serious?"

Norman put the still-steaming pot on the table and was about to open a bottle of water.

"What? That's not good? At least we'd be sure to remember it.", he laughed when Y/N stopped while she was already sitting at the table.  
The woman sat down, leaning both elbows on the table and pulling back her hair back while Norman emptied his Glass.  
She knew it would happen, she and Norman were like antipodes: He wanted a big ceremony, followed by a memorable party complete with concerts of the most famous stars worldwide, while she wanted to go to a small church, with a dozen friends and maybe a nice dinner in a cabin isolated from the rest of the world.

Y/N ran her hands through her hair and looked back at him.

"Where do you think we will get married? And with what ritual?"

"The ritual does not matter... Mixed? Civil? I don't care."

Y/N looked at him in surprise.  
"Then why don't we do it?"

"Because I imagined you wanted to get married here in New York, with your family, your friends..."

"Yes... But I wouldn't want anything too sensational you understand? No Hollywood parties..."

"Okay... So I have an idea. We will get married here with our closest families and friends... A ceremony, as we would like it."

Y/N nodded without saying anything but it was clear she was happy with that proposal.  
Norman smiled at her, reaching out to kiss her on the tip of her nose.

"And now let's eat!"


	27. Chapter 25

"Thank you, I'll see you soon!"

Y/N left the small shop, where she used to buy the freshest fruits and vegetables; she had never been a lover of supermarkets, perhaps because the small family-run shops reminded her so much of her childhood, when it was still not necessary to enter a mall only to get a baguette. Over the past few years in New York, she had found each of those typical and a little hidden places and had become their regular customer.  
She went out into the street shivering from the cold morning while she tried to balance the umbrella with the shopping bags, as she searched the bag for her mobile phone.

"Hello!", she answered just in time.

"YN! It's me!", Orlando's voice sounded particularly deep on the phone.

"Oh hi! How are you?"

"Really... That's what I ask you! I haven't left you! I received an interesting proposal here in New York again. A new project with my old manager."

"Really? But that's great!"

The man hesitated, feeling a little bit embarrassed.  
"Well I'm still considering... It was a sudden thing! Then you know, my new movie in Los Angeles..."

"Yes of course, but it's still good news, isn't it?"

"I think so, maybe I will still do it, so we could finally meet again."

They were both silent for a few seconds, not knowing how to continue.

"How do you feel?", he finally asked.

"Good... Fine! Everything seems to be under control, the doctor said I did a good job! Well-..."

"I'm happy. You did your best! Listen... I was wondering if by chance you already have some commitments for lunch? Maybe you want to eat something together? In a couple of days I'll still have to go back to fix some things and I'd like to say goodbye. And... I mean as a friend, not as... Well, so do you have time?"

Y/N had been caught off guard.  
"Sure, why... Why not? What time?"

He was embarrassed.  
"Half an hour?"

They met in a small cafe not far from there, one of Y/N's favorites.  
They remained for an indefinite time talking about art and the unexpected common passion about it. It was now three o'clock in the afternoon, when they realized that it was late and that it would be better to return home; he insisted on accompanying her and so they walked along the Central Park's paths.

"I don't believe it, you smoke?"  
Y/N was surprised to see him taking a cigarette out of his pocket.

"I'm trying to quit! I know I shouldn't smoke... But what can I do? I'm only human."

"Finally I found a fault!", she said with a satisfied voice.

"You have no idea how many there are. And then if I remember correctly you were smoking too."

"True... But I had to stop for now because of the pregnancy.", she smiled, bringing a hand to her belly.

"And what about... Him?"

"Norman? He still smokes a few cigarettes every now and then but it annoys me so much that I force him to stay away from me or I tell him to go outside."

Orlando slowed his pace, adapting it to hers.  
It still made her feel strange to see him since the situation in the hospital. Y/N knew he was a charming man, she understood it from the looks of women which were passing by and she couldn't help but smile, seeing his embarrassed expression at all those attention.

"No, I meant... Where is he? Is he working?"

"Yes... He'll be back tomorrow. I didn't even ask if I could go with him for obvious reasons..."

"True and I bet the doctor wouldn't have allowed it!", he answered: "And so... Will you marry?"

"Yeah... I still don't believe it, it's like it's not happening to me!"

"Aren't you happy about it?"

Y/N looked over the path, towards the little bridge in front of them.  
"Yes. I am very happy. But I didn't think it was his wish... I really didn't even think it was a wish of mine."

"So you marry him to please him or what?"

"No... But maybe he's the one who marries me to do me a favor..."

Orlando buried his hands in his pockets, sighing.  
"The usual insecurities, right?"

"It's not about that... It's just the situation that I always wanted to avoid! I'm afraid that we can't fully distinguish what we do for ourselves and what we do for her. I don't want to marry myself believing I am doing the best thing for my daughter, precisely because of this decision."

"Do you still think he doesn't love you? Do you think you only love yourself for the little girl? For real,if you ask me, there is no reason not to love you. You're special."

Y/N remained silent, looking down and seeing that he had stopped.

"And you... Are you sure you love him? Isn't it that maybe you realized you ran into something you actually didn't want? That maybe... Maybe all you wanted was actually right there all the time?"

The woman looked at him in surprise, as if he had offended her but slowly realized that perhaps the man knew her more than she thought.  
"No... I'm sorry... But I love him. I love Norman... It's just all so different with him, but you're right, it happened... In short, you know how it happened!"

They continued walking along the avenue in the autumn panorama.  
"Yes... Most of the time it probably happens that way."

"That's some serious bullshit!",Y/N laughed, understanding the bad joke but she suddenly changed her expression.

"What?"  
The man looked at her worried, ready for any eventuality.

"Look! Those are caramelized apples! Come on please, I must get one!"

He watched her, not knowing whether to laugh or sit on a bench to recover from that sudden situation.  
"Oh, do you smell that? Doesn't this give you a headache?"

"What are you talking about? Do you want one?"  
Y/N looked like a little girl with a huge smile on her face; even her eyes had grown larger at the sight of all those sweets.

"No! And you shouldn't eat it either!"

"Oh stop being that serious for once. You said we'd go out as friends! And then it's just an apple..."

"An apple...", he repeated resignedly, seeing her happy with huge concentration of sugar.

"You have no idea. I don't even think I liked it so much before getting pregnant, I never really loved sweets..."

Orlando smiled, stopped at the woman's side in front of a second kiosk, quite similar to the first. Something must have caught her attention, since she now seemed to have completely forgotten the apple still in her hand.

"What's up? Don't tell me you have any other strange needs right now."  
He leaned forward to follow her gaze and felt a knot in his stomach as he realized what she was staring at.

'REEDUS AND C/N TOGETHER AGAIN'

This was the title that stood out in large red letters on the cover of a tabloid displayed in the small newsstand. And next to it a second title, even more pitiless: 'TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES'  
All seasoned with an unequivocal photo of a private meeting.

"Y/N lets it go... Who knows when this photo was taken!"

But she seemed hypnotized by the cover and gave no sign of having heard the words of the man, who urged her to leave.  
"Come on, let's go... It's just gossip, you know how it is!"

"No... I... These are recent pictures!"  
Y/N stopped him and began to rummage with trembling hands in her purse for the portfolio.

"What are you doing? How do you know that..."

"The clothes... They are the same ones he put in the suitcase. And-... But where is he? They are new, we bought them together this summer..."

He stopped her, realizing she was about to give in, from the tremor in her voice.  
He paid for the newspaper, feeling like shit for having been complicit in unnecessary suffering.  
"Come on let's sit down."

Y/N was already flipping through the pages obsessively, looking for the offending photos.  
There was no doubt, that it was Norman and his new clothes. And that was his son, Mingus... And yes, that was his Ex..  
They looked like a perfect little new family, surprised outside the same house that Y/N had never wanted to see to avoid meeting his son.  
Her hands were shaking and she couldn't even read the photo captions. She was seized by a rage and almost threw the magazine to the ground.  
Fortunately, Orlando came to her aid, taking the newspaper from her hands and starting to read those few lines, without real content.

'Norman Reedus with his son... Shopping on the streets of Hollywood with his Ex, the story with Y/N with whom he had a real story!'

It was evident that she could hardly hold back her tears.

"Calm down... The Paparazzi could have been taken these pictures a long time ago!"

"Or even worse... Fuck... He is holding her hand, can you see it? And here?"

"You know that photographers can make even a simple kiss on the cheek look like a passionate kiss... I am convinced that there must be an explanation. Why should he do such a thing right now? He just asked you to marry him!"

Y/N was crying, she didn't even know if it was more anger or disappointment.

"Come, I'll take you home now... It's getting cold..."

As soon as they returned to the house, Y/N went to the couch, she was exhausted and her head seemed to explode.

"What do you say if I make you something? We were outside so long..."  
Orlanfo had been trying to talk to her since they got up from the bench in the park but Y/N was completely absent, as if her head had remained with those damn images. There was not much he could do except to comfort her and to be close to her. He now went into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a cup of hot chocolate, helping her getting more comfortable by arranging the pillows behind her back and watched her as she struggled to swallow a sip of the steaming drink.  
He couldn't help but glance at the abandoned magazine on the living room table and hate that man.  
What had happened to him? How could he have been so stupid? He didn't know him except by his fame and Y/N and didn't like to give hasty judgments on people but he didn't believe it was possible that a man could do something like that to a woman like Y/N.  
Now he could see the tears running silently down her face before falling to the edge of the sleeve of her sweater. Instinctively he stroked her hair trying to comfort her, he couldn't see her in that state.  
That contact seemed to make all of Y/N resistances yield, while she burst out into uncontrolled crying.  
He took the cup from her hands and held her tight in his arms, hearing the sobs muffled on his shoulder. That was the worst situation he could have imagined: He was alone with an internationally known actress like he was as an actor, engaged to another actor of similar fame while that mab probably cheated on her and he loved her secretly. An eight month pregnant mother, betrayed, vulnerable. A beautiful woman, whom he had fallen in love with at first sight.  
It took a few minutes before Y/N could calm herself, wiping her tears away and apologizing for the breakdown.  
He looked at her face flushed with tears, her eyes swollen and her eyeliner smudged around them and he had to have a considerable effort not to kiss her.

"What's going on here?"

Norman's deep voice suddenly thundered into the silence of the living room, making them wince.

"Norman!"  
Orlando jumped up from the couch with a guilty face, which he had no reason to have. The situation lent itself to being misunderstood: He tightly hugged the girlfriend of another man who didn't seem to like him at all...

"Oh well... I see you don't waste your time! Shouldn't you have left a few days ago? There is no damn need for you to be here at all! She doesn't need you!"

His eyes sparked jealousy and contempt.

"You know I live here..."   
Orlando was justifying himself and this only added to Norman's hypothesis.

"Of course! Do you think I didn't notice how you look at her? I know it! I know you love her! Or maybe you just want to fuck her, who know's! And now this... Get out of here! I want you out of my house immediately!"

Y/N still upset, managed to recover only at those words and, to the great surprise of both men, she literally jumped to her feet.

"No! This is my home! And he stays!"

The decision of her tone and the look he gave him, made Norman silent, who watched her with ever greater restlessness, as he saw her marching menacingly towards him.

"You... How dare you come back here and insinuate that I-... Me and him? Fuck that! It is you who must leave! I can't believe you have the courage to come here after all!"

"Y/N..."  
Orlando knew she was losing control again, just like a few minutes before at the park; he tried to block her before she reached Norman.

"What?"

Norman now looked at her confused, unable to comprehend this sudden change. He was sure he had never seen her so beside herself.

"All of this! And this-...", she told him, tearing the pages of the magazine she held in her hand and slamming them under his nose on the table.  
"Did you think you were getting away with it? You thought I would never know? Again Norman... You lied to me again! And I trusted you?"

Norman wasn't even sure if he was breathing while trying to decipher the confused images between the woman's screams.  
Suddenly he felt Y/N's hands on him and looked up in surprise in her face disfigured by anger and tears.

"You lied to me... How could you? Every fucking day you lied to me! All those bullshit about family... Our family! Your Ex... Why did I trust you again?"

"Y/N... Calm down!"  
A now frightened Norman squeezed her arms lightly but this made her mad even more, triggering new screams.

"Okay Y/N... Y/N, stop it now! You're exaggerating!", Orlando decided to intervene, holding her before he rushed back at the man, to push him to the door so suddenly that Norman didn't do anything against it. The woman seemed to be in the midst of a nervous breakdown as she tried to go away, screaming like crazy.  
The man held her in his arms, standing between her and Norman, who watched in disbelief at the scene.

"Go away! And this... This you can also get back!"  
He saw her take off her precious engagement ring and threw it on the ground right in front of him.

"Y/N calm down... Think of the child! Please calm down! Norman, get out! For heaven's sake go away now!"

Norman continued to squeeze his own arm, without fully realizing what was happening. Y/N was sobbing in Orlando's arms and he, who had come in there feeling betrayed, went out as the traitor.

"Go!"

He picked up the abandoned ring at his feet and went out, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall of red bricks, realizing he had held his breath for the last few moments.  
Y/N's hysterical cry came muffled through the door as he looked down at the pieces of paper and opened them trying to focus on the images.  
It took him a few seconds to recognize his son: 'REEDUS AND C/N TOGETHER AGAIN'  
He closed his eyes, leaving his head against the wall. This couldn't be true! How was it possible? He had timd to see his son, knowing that his Ex-Wife was also far away. He had taken him outside for a ride with his motorcycle and there, as it often happened, he had met C/N. They had spoken and yes, perhaps they had greeted each other.  
And now Y/N thought he had lied to her all this time, to return to the arms of his Ex.  
Once again the paparazzi had decided for him.  
True love? He and C/N had not spoken to each other for months, since he had ended their story in a way that was not too elegant, to follow Y/N. Of course, that woman had a charm that still managed to hit him. If anything, it is only a friendship, gained after months of resentment, especially after the meeting between both of the women.  
He read the article with difficulty and noticed that they had not even spared Y/N, who was described as a ruined pregnant actress, who had deserved that betrayal, having been the cause of their breakup.  
What could he do?  
Instinct told him to go back inside and explain everything but he was aware that Y/N was still out of her mind and that his presence would make things only worse.  
In addition there was Orlando, who could always find himself in the middle of the worst moments between their relationship.  
Norman hadn't really thought that his partner was cheating on him with Orlando, but seeing them together made him nervous, especially after all those other situations of them together.  
He folded the sheets and stood there for a few moments staring at the large red garnet, surrounded by diamonds.  
Everything seemed to have slipped away from his hands again.  
He had to call his manager to try to handle that business before he went around the world but the idea of hearing her voice at that moment was unsustainable.

And so he did the only thing that came to his mind, he called Jeffrey and in less than half an hour he found himself sitting in his best friend's house, with a whiskey in his hand and a bunch of thoughts in his head.


	28. Chapter 26

"What the hell is going on in your head?", Hilarie attacked him again before taking off her coat and scarf.  
By now it was evening when she came home and found him sitting in her husband's room with that distressed look.

"I just tried to call Y/N and look... I have to know... I don't want to believe it!"

"Hilarie please calm down!"  
Jeffrey got up to rekindle the fire in the fireplace.

"I am calm!"

The woman disappeared into the corridor, returning a few minutes later with a huge black sweater, which reached her knees.  
Norman had stopped talking, everything had been made worse by the phone calls of his friends and his manager, who by now had called to know about the incriminated photos.  
Hilarie took a glass of red wine and curled up on the sofa, as she used to do it while her partner worked. She looked at her watch and then looked up at her friend.

"Okay, I have exactly half an hour before I have to go again. Tell me what happened..."

Norman opened his mouth, not knowing exactly where to start; he really didn't care to repeat every detail, all he cared about was knowing how Y/N was doing.  
But Hilarie didn't even give him time to say a word.

"Really? C/N? I can't believe it! Jeffrey, say something to him!"

"What more can I say?"  
  
"And to think that I warned you Norman... You shouldn't have been so unbalanced with Y/N, if you weren't sure of your feelings!"

"But I was sure of it... I'm still sure!"  
The man rose from the chair with exasperation. He didn't tolerate being attacked that way, as if he assumed that all the blame and guilt was his.

"So? You will need a valid explanation. Look here..."  
Saying those words, Hilarie picked up the pages still crumpled, scrolling through the incriminated photos.

"Oh come on... It was not a real kiss!"

"Oh it was not? Then what do you call it? Because it looks like a kiss to me!", she said, her eyes narrowing behind the reading glasses.  
Norman came over, tearing the images from her hands and began to shake them in front of her friend's eyes. He realized that patience was abandoning him.

"It was a greeting! Only a damn greeting! How I greet you and everyone else... Fuck! She and I always greeted each other this way, with or without paparazzi! But no... Now it must become a tabloid affair! Two more inflated captions are enough and here is the scandal!"

The woman sighed, trying to remain calm. Sometimes it was just like talking to a child.

"How old are you, Norman? Have you not learned it yet? Of course they fuck with everything... It's their job!"

"And mine then is to hide from the rest of the world? Sometimes I really feel like I've been cursed! I have to do what they want when they want it... That's what it feels like!"

"Norman..."  
This time it was Jeffrey's quiet voice that warned him.  
He didn't need to say anything else, he always understood when his friend thought he was exaggerating.

"What? Isn't it just like that?"

"You and your Ex spent months hiding to avoid this sort of gossip... What are you doing now? You greet each other in the middle of the street in front of your son like that? And now... I may be wrong but this is your fault. And to be honest, you know that the real problem aren't the photos..."

Norman looked down, nodding and putting a hand to his hair.

"Yeah... The problem is that Y/N thought you were still at Work..."

"Bingo!"  
Hilarie looked at him with a mixture of reproach and compassion; it always seemed that Norman could get himself into trouble. Her eyes followed him as he sat back down on the chair.

"I don't even know why I did it... My son was home and I hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks... My Ex-Wife is in Europe... I didn't think I was doing anything wrong but I preferred not to tell Y/N, I didn't want her to worry, knowing that I would extend the journey... You know how apprehensive she is lately..."

"Of course she's apprehensive... You're her daughter's father!"

Norman didn't answer but just sighed, rubbing his arm thoughtfully.

"And C/N?"

That name seemed to come from another dimension and awakened him as if from a dream.  
"C/N what?"

"I mean Norman, don't fool us... Do you still feel something for her? How are things really?"

"They're like this!", he said, opening his eyes wide and spreading his arms.  
"Nothing has changed, our story is over, what else is there to say? We are however two civilians and it did not seem very educational to pretend to ignore it right in front of my boy! In short, I can't be angry with her... Okay, I know it, I'm wrong! I should have thought of Y/N, the photographers, the fans... As always I should have thought of a thousand things before making a spontaneous gesture! Right now that my Ex and I have returned to having a balanced relationship... Now that we were all happy and we could live quietly, there comes out this story! Will they never leave me alone?"

The feeling of not being the master of one's life, of own choices was frustrating. Everything was always put on display, so that everyone could point the finger at him and decide for him. Hadn't anyone thought at all that this couple of shots could have destroyed all the efforts he made to start over?

He felt Jeffrey's grip on his shoulder unexpectedly and looked up to see him right next to him.  
"Come on man, you can still fix it. Just tell her the truth..."

"And how? Look here!"  
He took the ring out of his pocket.  
"She gave it back to me... She threw me out of the house! No one has ever done that... I never saw Y/N like that... She literally seemed possessed!"

"Yes Norman, but try to understand the situation. Missing just one month to the birth of the child, it is normal to be more vulnerable at that time!"  
Jeffrey was quite right, Y/N was an impulsive woman, but the reaction of that night had frightened him.

"Did you hear that Hilarie?"  
The woman denied it with her head, even before with words.  
"I only spoke to Orlando, he answered on the phone. I think Y/N was resting. I don't know what happened between you but apparently he preferred to stay by her side."

" That... That sounds just like him!"

"Just like him what?"  
It was clear to Hilarie that something had made him mad just by saying the name of the man.

"Bloom has a very soft spot for Y/N... And Norman probably thinks she may take advantage of it."  
Jeffrey was the wizard of summaries, maybe a little too direct while Hilarie burst out laughing incredulously.  
"Oh, come on..."

"I saw them... I found them hugging tightly on the couch when I returned this afternoon! He wasn't only comforting her!"

He spat out the words with a disgusted expression and couldn't tolerate that that man put his hands on her. Norman already thought that he had been loving her for years now and that made him sick.

"No, I'm sure you misunderstood. Y/N has no interest in that man, I'm sure of it! She only wants him as a friend."

"No? Would you behave this way with other actors from your movies?", he asked her, getting more nervous.

"No! But with a friend, yes! In short, Norman, don't forget that he helped you a lot in Los Angeles. I remember well when Y/N telephoned me in tears in the first months of her pregnancy, that he was the only one who really helped her to relax."

"Yes... Yes okay. I don't want to complain about anything. But here we are talking about a man who used the excuse of work to try to be close her. I'm not wrong, I'm sure of it... I'm a man too, I can recognize certain looks!"

Neither of them had the courage to speak to him again, after all they didn't really know Orlando and, from what they had noticed, he had been very apprehensive towards Y/N.

"Okay, let's say you're right. But not Y/N! And above all not now! Try to think about it for a moment... It's absolutely out of question! She loves you, she has never done anything to make you suspect otherwise! All you have to do is to let it rest for a few hours and tomorrow you can talk to her calmly. I'm sure she too will need to see you... And it's been a few days now that you're far away, right?"

"Yes, a week! But honestly... I don't know!"  
His intense blue eyes tried to avoid those of his friends, still sitting in front of him.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know... Maybe it's not how it should go! Maybe I have to resign myself to the fact that between Y/N and me it can't work."

"What are you saying?"  
Hilsrue didn't know whether to laugh or to get up and to slap him, to make him get those absurd ideas out of his head. She looked at Jeffrey to confirm that she had heard correctly.  
Norman looked at the ruined tip of his boots with his arms crossed over his chest and a tremendously sad atmosphere in the air.

"It is like that! In short, try to think of these months! It is only since August that we are together and every shit that could ever happen had happened!"

Norman needed a few seconds but managed to continue, concentrating.

"She doesn't trust me anymore so it's useless! And my Ex? Sge tried from the beginning to get me away from Y/N, it is as if she didn't want me next to her, as if she wanted to convince me that it's all wrong, that she won't last, that I don't really love her! These photos were nothing but confirmation of all those insecurities and I am not surprised that she took the opportunity. My words are worth nothing! So maybe... Maybe she's right!"

Hilarie's dismayed look made him feel even worse.

"But no! No! No! You're crazy!"  
Certainly no one expected that sudden reaction from Jeffrey.  
"If I threw everything away every time I told Hilarie how it couldn't work between us, by now I'd be suffocated by dust! And now? We are happy! You can't do it again Norman!"

"Again?"

"Yes, damn it! You've been crying for who knows how many months and you haven't done anything! Nothing! So? You've got it all wrong... And I'm sure if you think about it, you still regret not having really fought for her. But you are no longer a kid."

Norman sighed, he had suffered from the end of his love, he had sworn that it would last forever. He knew all too well how much Jeffrey liked Y/N as a friend and how convinced he was that sooner or later their time would return.

"But she left me..."

"Exactly! She did it... And for what? You know how she is... And she suffers immensely because of all this, just like you. And she is so different from all the others; come on, you know it too, Y/N is one that slips out of the situations that frighten her, and then you have to go back to her with patience, if you want something good to grow!"

Hilarie frowned. "I will have to remember this when I make fun of you in the next interview!"

Jeffrey pretended not to have even heard it, focusing again on Norman.  
"I know that age doesn't help, let alone the situations with your ex... I was silent all the time, now I won't! There is also your baby! I'll simply say... Go Norman, don't stay here mulling over your insecurities! You want Y/N, you want her... So what are you waiting for?"

Norman and Hilarie exchanged a sincerely surprised look.

"Maybe I'm wrong?", Norman sighed, pulling his hair back.  
Was he wrong?  
Was he really doing it again?


	29. Chapter 27

Y/N closed the door behind her. She was exhausted, there was now less than a month to go before the birth of the child and any movement seemed to cost her more effort every day.  
She put her purse on the sofa and took off her coat, looking at the stairs with hatred. Those had become her number one enemies; she had no desire at all but the thought of the bed, which awaited her upstairs, convinced her to get stronger and go up.  
She didn't have time to put her foot on the last step when suddenly her heart began beating faster, forcing her to cling with both hands to the railing.  
There was someone in the room, a dark figure, who now seemed to have disappeared behind the half-open door. And whoever now had heard her was throwing open the door while Y/N stood still, unable to breathe.

"Hey... It's me!"

She almost fainted from relief recognizing the man's face, who now looked at her as if he had seen a ghost.

"Oh thank you! For a moment I thought you're a burglar! Never do that again!"

Norman smiled, seeing her catch her breath as she entered the room.

"Orlando called me, telling me I could come and get my stuff... I thought you're not here..."

"I thought you were already gone, I didn't see your car out here!"

"I parked it in the back."  
Norman continued to fold his clothes, pretending to be focused on that operation so as not to meet the woman's gaze.

They had broken the ice but now the tension was growing with every word.  
Almost a week had passed since the scene of Y/N and although Norman had tried to call her on several occasions, he had always ended up giving up.  
He was increasingly convinced that their story was not meant to be and probably this didn't depend so much on his behavior, as on the fact that the woman had never really been convinced that she wanted to embark on a relationship with him.  
Now she was there in front of him, standing in the doorway of the room they had shared for a relatively short time and was watching him nervously as he was about to leave again.

He tried to look cold, he didn't want to give up.  
"I left the keys there on the bedside table. And this too.", he said and picked up the ring, showing it from a distance. "It's yours... I bought it for you. Do whatever you want with it."

Y/N remained silent, feeling that tears threatened to betray her at any moment. She made a huge effort to swallow them down, opening her mouth.  
"And now... Now what will you do? Will you return to Los Angeles?"

Norman nodded, heading for the bathroom to collect the last things.  
"Yes... I think I'll stay there for a while... Then I'll come back to New York. I never told you but I was looking for a new and bigger home for us and I will probably finish the deal by the end of the year anyway."

He went back into the room and noticed that Y/N couldn't stand his gaze.  
It had been hard to tell her about the house at such a time, but basically she wanted him to realize how wrong he was with her. He decided to calm down the situation, yet he stayed away from her.  
"And... I would like to be present when the baby will be born... I want to be there."

Y/N hastened to nod while her eyes seemed to widen.  
"Yes. Yes, sure. I'm not going to exclude you from anything... That is... It's obvious! I'll call you as soon as-..."

Norman closed his eyes with a slight smile and approached her a few steps. She always managed to be so clumsy and funny when she was upset.  
"I know..."

He placed his hand on her belly and Y/N struggled not to step back; she wasn't ready for contact, she didn't know if she could resist.

"She has grown a lot.", he said, lowering his voice slightly.

"Yeah... I think I'll end up bursting if she continues like this. I literally have nothing left to wear."

Norman smiled, recognizing the baby's movements and Y/N bit her tongue because her last words: Why did she always have to say such stupid things in delicate moments like those?  
The man suddenly became serious and withdrew his hand, searching for her eyes.

"Is something wrong?"

"No! No everything is okay... This morning I did the last ultrasound, or at least I think it's the last."

"Today? I thought we were going together... I mean Y/N, you should at least have told me!"

"I know... I know, you're right! But I... We had no contact to each other these days and after what happened... I didn't want it. I thought it would be better to go alone! I'm sorry if it was a mistake. And it's okay to be mad at me! But everything is well... That's good. And to be honest, I bet you don't even understand anything from the images! But I have them here, let me get them and I'll show you, okay?"

Norman stared at her, stunned by that river of almost incomprehensible words. He managed to stop her just before she took the stairs again and saw the guilt painted on her face.  
"Okay... Okay no, that's okay, don't go! This has time and I can see them later... The important thing is that everything is well!"

They stood silently facing each other and knew it would be time to face what had happened between them, they couldn't part with a simple greeting, as if they were the two most civilized people in the world.

"I'm sorry!"  
They both froze, realizing that they had spoken the same words in unison. Probably even their expressions were the same.

"Okay, you first!"  
Y/N immediately came forward.

"No. You!"

The woman looked down, yielding to the request of the now ex-partner.

"Okay... I know I exaggerated! It's not like me losing my head that way, I didn't want to throw you out... But when I saw those pictures I... I couldn't believe it really happened! Maybe I should have tried to reason, to let you explain... It was just that I was so afraid that it would happen and in fact at the end-..."

"And in fact nothing happened! Y/N look at me!"  
Norman was only a few steps away from her and he was begging her to believe him again but when Y/N looked up, he realized that something had changed about her.  
"That kiss meant nothing... They are the usual tabloids of the newspapers and you know that! There's nothing left between me and Amber. I met her, that's all... How many times do I need to repeat it to you? I was wrong, I should have told you that I would go to the boy before I went back, but I know you, you would have thought I wanted to stay or that I would have been flying with C/N for who knows how many hours and you would have worried... If I had thought of ruining everything with that kiss, I would have avoided it at all costs. But I just didn't think about it, because I can assure you that if you had witnessed the scene, you would have noticed that she also greeted Mingus and even the driver like that. But that's not it, isn't it?"

Y/N looked down, she felt stupid right now, but the wound was still there and didn't stop burning, despite the man's words.

"The problem is that you don't trust me... You never did it and who knows, maybe you're right! After all, you met me as I got out of a relationship to throw myself straight into another with C/N. But we can't think of building a relationship if we can't live it with serenity. You're not happy with me, I can see it in your eyes... I saw it that night in Los Angeles and also the other day, when you sent me away from here. We seriously risk hurting us both... And I have had too many relationships in the past. I don't want to risk hurting our daughter too with all that bullshit."

Y/N couldn't believe her ears. Now it seemed that it was Norman who left her and that it was her fault alone.  
She felt resentment and disappointment growing; certainly she did not think that he would return again to ask for forgiveness but neither would she face it in such a lucid and impassive way but the dismay grew even more, to the words that followed.

"Who knows... Maybe you really need someone like Orlando. Maybe with him you wouldn't always be in doubt and you could finally let yourself go..."

Norman closed the zipper of the bag and put it on his shoulder, returning to meet the woman's gaze. He immediately recognized those eyes, they had become as dark as the night and didn't promise anything good. He had probably exaggerated again.

"What are you talking about? What's Orlando got to do with it now? You can't be serious... I never-..."

"I know, I know that nothing happened. I'm just saying that maybe, like you always thought my heart belonged to C/N, I think Orlando is the man for you."

"Stop Norman... You can't really think of such a thing!"

"Why not? I saw it you know? I saw how he looked at you on back then or at the premiere. And let's not forget that day in the living room."  
Norman took a few steps towards the exit, declaring the end of that discussion, which began with slight smiles and ended with tears. Yes, he certainly couldn't think of continuing a story on those bases.  
Y/N was forced to turn around to find the man still standing next to the stairs; it seemed that Norman was waiting for her to do something.  
A few moments followed, which seemed very long for both, until the man decided to break the now unbearable silence.

"I'll take the ultrasound with me... And if you need to, if anything happens, just call me. All right?"

Y/N's voice came out like a whisper and Norman barely heard it.  
"I will... Then-..." She stopped, closing her eyes and pursing her lips. She had been thinking about those things for days, she knew she would have no other chance to talk to Norman before the baby was born but now that he was there in front of her, everything seemed too difficult.

"Then what?"

The woman's eyes remained low as she struggled to utter those difficult words.  
"Then we will have to discuss... There are some things... Some decisions we have to make..."  
She left out a deep sigh before continuing, bringing a hand to her forehead, almost to hide her emotion.  
"There are so many things we never thought of... Recognition, paternity test, foster care... God, I don't understand anything about these things... But I don't want to risk it..."  
The words choked in her throat. The tears were there and she couldn't stop them. It was terrible to have to say those things but she had to.

Norman was so upset that he couldn't find the voice to answer.  
He looked away, he didn't want to see her cry.

"I have to go now."

"Yes..."

"Yes..."

Y/N saw him disappear step by step, until she heard the door slam. She was alone. Completely alone.


	30. Chapter 28

Orlando snorted and inhaled a breath of his cigarette, finally returning to focus on the other pages of the newspaper. Only then was his attention drawn to a vaguely familiar-looking man who was talking to someone. He tried to focus on him, thinking back to where he had already seen that man with his short hair and marked features. Finally the fog in his mind cleared and he realized he was in front of Norman's bodyguard.  
His first instinct was to hide behind the newspaper's pages so as not to be recognized, but he thought it would be stupid, realizing how absurd this behavior was: After all he had done nothing wrong and the chances that that man was there to beat him were practically non-existent.  
He pretended nothing but feeling a little uneasy, so he decided to take some steps to get away from that place, where it was still very difficult to go unnoticed, especially when you're an actor.

Orlando picked up his stuff and headed for the toilet, no one would have disturbed him there. He entered, listening for the loudspeaker's voice, which was not announcing his flight yet. But it took only a second for him to look up and find those two blue eyes looking straight into his. He remained motionless, continuing to look at the mirror in front of him and Norman's face, which seemed to hypnotize him in that reflection.  
They both remained silent, feeling the tension grow out of proportion in the few meters that separated them. Norman was only a few steps ahead of him and now had his back to him while he was busy washing his hands with an almost unbearable slowness.  
He wore a long dark coat and an scarf around his neck; the hem of his jeans was torn and he could see some black boots, which must have gone through many adventures, judging by how they looked.

Norman waited until the jet of water ran out and wiped his hands without looking at the man anymore, who for his part didn't know whether to shut himself in the bathroom or start talking.  
What could he say to him after all? The last time they met he had thrown him out of Y/N's house.

"Already finished work here?", Norman suddenly said in a deliberately cold tone.

"No, I'm going to see my family.", was his reply.  
It was clear that Norman was referring to the words of the week before, when Orlando had justified his presence by saying to Y/N that he was working in the city again for now.

Notman threw the paper in the waste basket, returning to position himself in front of the sink.

"Yes, I shuttle back there every two weeks... My parents still live there."

Norman looked surprised.  
"Oh... I see we have something else in common then!"

Orlando grew impatient, he wasn't good at those games, he wasn't good at putting his opponent in trouble, he wasn't even good at lying to tell the truth.  
"Okay Norman listen to me... I'm sorry for what happened between you and Y/N! I never imagined that things would go that way. She was upset when she saw the photos and I couldn't leave her alone in that state. I only took her home, I even tried to reduce the incident but how could I do that when all she did was to look at those pictures?"

"And so you thought about taking advantage of it..."

Now Norman was right in front of him and looked at him without moving a muscle. He didn't even seem angry.

"No! I never thought of taking advantage of it... That is absurd! Y/N is my best friend, nothing else!"

"Nothing else?"

It wasn't a real question, Norman didn't need the man to answer him. Orlando looked down, trying to suppress the instinct that told him to talk, to throw everything out. But that had always been his biggest problem, he couldn't shut up.

"Norman listen to me... Y/N is an absolutely extraordinary woman! Wait... Let me finish before you start insulting me again!", he silenced him, realizing he was about to intervene.  
"It doesn't take anything to figure it out... Anyone would lose their minds at first sight! But this is not the case. I met her at a difficult time in her life back then... Y/N came to me without the slightest idea of what was waiting for her. She was scared, unprepared, and desperately needed someone to tell her she was making the right decision. I always wondered why such a woman felt so vulnerable and I always wondered who would leave her alone in such a situation... I fell in love with her yes, maybe I do still love her. But I saw you next to her in the days of the operation, I saw you cultivate a feeling that not even you were completely aware of and I was so happy for her... Because I finally saw her happy! And do you want me to tell you that I wasn't jealous? No, I can't. I was terribly jealous! And I felt guilty about this, because in so many years something like this had never happened to me. And I was glad that she trusted me, I was happy that everything had turned out for the best... But no, I never thought of anything more! Never!"

The man's eyes were sincere and Norman didn't even have the courage to interrupt him.

"That day, when you came out hand in hand from the hospital, I knew it would be all right, because she had you by her side... Y/N wanted you. You're right, maybe I shouldn't have accepted her invitation, I should have immediately realized that my feelings were too compromising and that being close to her could only worsen the situation. But how could I tell her no? It would have been unwise to leave her alone without assistance and above all I was convinced that, once I had spent time with you, I would have realized how stupid I was to think about certain things. I knew you were in love, I knew you would ask her to marry you and that, despite the doubts, she would accept. And this is what... I never tried to be anything more than a good friend, Y/N is not a mischievous person, she has no ulterior motives and neither do I. But now let me tell you, you are in danger of losing her... You are losing her and no matter how hard I try, I just can't understand why!"

Norman realized he frowned and had a sullen gaze. He did not expect even one of those words and did not expect to have to give up and be equally sincere.

"I've already lost her."

"But why?"

"I don't know... I don't even know why, okay?But it's not your fault, if it makes you feel better.", he said and spread his arms, emphasizing the phrase.

"But can you know what your problem is? Are you really one of those men who can't be loyal to one woman? You didn't give me that idea... Okay, I admit that there are some rumors about you..."

"Those are rumors. I don't even care anymore! I didn't cheat on Y/N, if that's what you want to know! I'm not a saint okay, but I haven't betrayed her. To be honest, I don't even know if I even could."

"And that's why you're leaving?"  
Orlando glanced at the small bag resting on the marble of the bathroom.

"No... I'm leaving to spend a few days with my son, who will probably be too busy with their friends to be with me..."

"And Y/N knows it this time?"

Norman sighed, answering exasperatedly.  
"Yes, she knows! But I don't think it matters now... This conversation is over! Bye!"  
Norman wanted to get out of there. How had it occurred to him to go to that bathroom? That was rule number one: Never go into the bathrooms of the airports, at least when you have one on a private jet, waiting for your sign to take off.

Orlando's tone became more decisive and provocative.  
"But how can you be so stupid? I wonder, if I were in your place, I would know exactly what I want and I wouldn't give up everything like this. Everyone a mile away can see that you are suffering."

Norman turned around facing him again. He had tried to stay calm until then but now he was really exaggerating.  
What did he know about what had brought him up there?  
"Yes Orlando, I suffer then? What should I do? You tell me that you know everything... What do you advise me to do? Y/N threw me out, threw the ring that I had given her back to me and she just talked to me about foster care... And I, like you say, I've seen all the most important relationships in my life sink, what should I do again? Should I cry until I have made enough compassion? Should I force her to be with someone she doesn't trust? She doesn't want me... She's not comfortable with me... She's not comfortable with everything around me! But don't you see? It's a mess! I can't move without a bodyguard... I have to watch my back, hoping that a passer-by does not decide to photograph me and disgrace me in front of the rest of the world! This is not the kind of life that everyone expects for someone like me and to be honest, I really think that a woman like Y/N will feel better if I am away from her for a while. But this has nothing to do with you."

"No, you're right... I'm no one to interfere. But forgive me, I can't do it, I can't believe you're serious. So, do you want to know what I'd do if I were Norman Reedus? If I would be so disgustingly rich and famous, that I had to have a bodyguard even in front of the bathroom door and I had to wear dark glasses, to defend myself from photographers' flashes? Well... I would get my fantastic private jet back into the hangar, I would send my personal pilot on vacation... And then I would run home to get my woman back, which yes, threw me a ring for at least thirty thousand dollars in my face back and tried to rip my eyes out... But she did it because she loves me and because she's so afraid of getting lost, of committing a madness like that. I don't even tell you this as a friend, you know that. But I tell you as a man... And believe me, I would do everything for her."

Norman wasn't sure he heard right. He was crazier than he and Jeffrey put together.  
Meanwhile the voice of the loudspeaker announced boarding for New York and Orlando prepared to leave quickly.

"Okay, it was a pleasure to have this conversation with you! And remember that if you do bullshit like this, this time I'll really be there, ready to take your place."

The man went out and Norman found himself alone and confused in that bathroom.  
He reached to the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out the small envelope, which held the cigarettes and looked at himself in the mirror.  
Suddenly a boy came out of one of the bathrooms, heading for the sinks right next to him. Loud music could be heard through the headphones and invaded the whole room, while he moved his head in rhythm. Norman looked at him for a few moments amused and a little upset, thinking that Mingus would do the same.  
The boy now looked up at him bored.  
"Hey, what are you looking at?"

Norman shook his head, raising his eyebrows, as if to tell him that there was nothing wrong.  
The boy wiped his hands on the fabric of his trousers, returning to look at him for a moment.  
"Do you know that you look a little bit like that Redneck from The Walking Dead?"

Having said that he went out, continuing to move his head to the rhythm of his deafening music.  
Norman stood motionless in front of the mirror, with his cigarette box still open and an incredulous expression, painted on his face. He turned around, laughing on his own and put the cigarettes back into his pocket before lowering his hat to his face and leaving the bathroom.

"Daryl Dixon...", he muttered to himself.


	31. Chapter 29

"Thank you, take the rest. Have a good evening!"

Norman got out and greeted the old taxi driver.  
He hadn't taken a taxi for some years, since he had started paying a driver, which would allow him to move without the risk that some taxi driver too busy looking at him would make an accident. It was more or less the same reason he had been traveling with his private plane for years now: The problem was not so much being around people but the people themselves, who looked at him like a freak, wherever he went.  
That evening he had decided to make an exception to the rule and to follow Orlando's advice: He had left the bathroom immediately followed by his bodyguard, had headed back in the eyes of the curious and had called his manager to cancel everything. They could all go home.  
On his way back to Y/N's house, he had lingered on each of the words of the man.   
He really felt like a fool for thinking he'd let her go, he wasn't a guy who threw away everything, he never did. But as he had told Y/N only a few days before while he was embracing her in front of the stove, he was particularly good at ruining beautiful things.  
But this time he wouldn't let it happen... At least he hoped so.

He stopped in front of the dark wooden door and waited a few moments, undecided about what to do. He no longer had his key to enter the house, this meant that he had two solutions left: He could look for the spare key, which had to be hidden there somewhere or risk it, hoping that Y/N was home and wasn't resting.  
He decided on the second option, rang the bell and waited a few seconds but there was no answer except for the barking of a dog in the distance.  
He began to feel a little uneasy there in front of what was his home until some hours before.  
He tried it again, already regretting having sent the taxi away. Only then did he hear fast footsteps coming down the stairs and an unmistakable voice.

"Wait a moment! I'm coming!"

His surprise was enormous, when the door burst open, finding himself not in front of Y/N, but her mother.  
Norman remained a few seconds in the doorway without having the slightest idea of what to say; he had already met her but this was a much more embarrassing situation. Even speaking so natural seemed very difficult right now.

The look of the woman said everything, she knew what had happened.

"So? Do you want to come in or do you prefer to stay out in the cold?"

"Oh... Yes, of course!"  
Norman wiped his boots on the doormat and went into the house, taking off his hat.  
He was in obvious embarrassment and wasn't used to that kind of pleasantries while this situation forced him to a sort of formality towards the almost mother-in-law.

"I honestly didn't think to see you so soon... Do you want a cup of coffee?"

"No... Thank you!"  
He watched the woman's gestures carefully as she fiddled like an expert next to the stove. She was very similar to Y/N but in her movements he saw something more familiar.

"It is useless for Y/N to ask, she won't drink it at the moment! Excuse the mess but I just arrived, I had the bad idea of not taking a flight but you know... I would also have arrived this morning for the ultrasound scan but everything was a chaos, there are always queues everywhere..."

Norman tried to smile.

"Y/N is upstairs with our little boy... I'll leave you in peace!"

He looked at her a little perplexed, not daring to go up the stairs.  
"Well... I can wait, I don't want to disturb them..."

"Disturb them?", she said and burst into laughter: "Our little boy is a dog! I thought it would be good for her to spend some time with him, so I brought him with me. Now that she's home, she can take care of him too!"

Of course, how did he forget? It was a little Jack Russell Terrier, whom Y/N had been forced to leave to her mother, when her work commitments around the world had become too intense. He smiled at the woman, realizing that this was the typical gesture of love that a mother would make for her child knowing she was in trouble.  
He now climbed the stairs noiselessly but was immediately struck by that dog, which, not knowing him, started barking at him.

"Hey! Stop, stop it... What are you doing? Come here!"

Norman was surprised, hearing Y/N's voice to his left: That was not her room.  
He picked up the little dog, already too busy sniffing his hands and headed for the room where the woman must have been. Y/N fell silent as soon as she recognized him.

"So this would be the famous dog? I think he likes me! Or not? What do you say?", he said and stroked him again, before leaving him on the ground and returning to focus on her.

He found her in what would become the child's room; Y/N was sitting on a large rocking chair, one of those that no longer existed and that Norman had only seen in some old black and white movies. Next to her was a small cradle, completely covered with very light white veils and decorated with a carillon of some butterflies. That image excited him even more and swept away all the insecurities, which still held him back.  
Y/N had returned to pet the dog, who now wagged it's tail beside her. She avoided looking at him, perhaps she didn't believe he had returned to stay. Norman took a few steps closer, touching the crib with a smile.

"It's wonderful!"

Finally Y/N let herself go with a slight smile.  
"Yes... My mother brought it to me! It was my cradle..."

"So that means you have grown up...", he  
said, smiling, lowering himself to the level of Y/N's chair.  
They finally looked into each other's eyes. There were so many things to say but none seemed important at that time.

It was Y/N who held his hand first, holding on to him as if she had been waiting for that moment forever. Norman looked at their hands for a few moments and recognized the ring, which had returned to shine on the woman's finger.

"I too grew up a little this evening... I didn't think it was still possible but instead-..."

"But instead?"

"But instead I had a strange meeting in the bathroom of an airport... And I must admit that it wasn't as unpleasant as I would have imagined..."

Y/N laughed. "Do you know how that sounds?"

"Yes, I know... I can assure you that it wasn't that kind of encounter! Let's say someone helped me understand what I was throwing away."

"And who was that?"

Norman hesitated, fiddling with the woman's fingers.  
"It doesn't matter who... He's a person who knows how much you're worth, that should be enough to know..."

He knew from her look that Y/N had already understood who he was talking about.

"I'm sorry I was so impulsive... I didn't believe you... But I'm not used to-..."

"Please... You already said it, I know how you are! You're not perfect... But I'm convinced of what I'm doing, you're the right one for me Y/N! And you might still not believe it, but I will repeat it whenever it is necessary..."

Y/N smiled, finally letting herself being kissed by him.  
She was so convinced that she would never be together with him again, that she would never be able to lose herself in the colour of those deep blue eyes.

"Goodnight guys, I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted!", Y/N's mother interrupted them, leaning out the door and Norman stood up abruptly.  
Both women laughed at his suddenly self-conscious expression and Mrs. Y/L/N came over to print a kiss on her daughters cheek, in her typical manner.

"Good night Norman! I'm glad you're back... Be patient, sometimes Y/N is intractable!"

"Mom!", Y/N scolded her, pretending to be offended.

"Oh okay, you know I love you Sweetheart!"  
That said she left the room, to disappear along the corridor.  
Norman turned around, looking at Y/N in a somewhat confused way.

"Well... Was this normal?"

"Oh yes! My mother is a bit crazy, like me. And of course she speaks almost always inappropriately, just like me! Let's just hope that will skip the next generation!", she smiled, touching her belly.

"Haven't you told her the name yet?"

Y/N suddenly became serious.  
"Why? Did you do it? Who did you tell it?"

"No... To no one. But do you think we haven't chosen it yet?"

"It's the only way to shut her up, believe me. If she knew that we chose it already but we don't want to say it, she would continue to annoy us day and night to find out. And maybe even try to make us change it!"

"Well at least she convinced you to finally put something in this room. We would've end up having nothing when she is born."

Y/N had insisted on not wanting to buy anything before the baby was born, she did it for good luck, she said. But by now the child could have been born at any moment and they hadn't even thought about the color to give to her room.

"Oh but stop it... Tomorrow she will take me to get something... I don't know, overalls, diapers, creams... All that stuff that is needed."

"I could help you too... I know what it takes."

Y/N sighed, she was already losing her patience. Why didn't he and his mother go there alone then?  
"Okay... We'll go together! But I was hoping that you would have devoted yourself to the bedroom, like all good dads..."

"What do you mean?"  
He didn't like that tone, she was about to tell him one of her ideas, where he couldn't say no.

"You take the paint... I would do it too, but I'm afraid I'm not very agile right now!"

Norman nodded, biting his lips and looking around in confusion.  
"Well sure... All the good dads... And don't you think that good dads could pay someone, so that they don't make this room look like some wannabe Picasso was trapped in here?"

"You could play around on the walls... You could do everything you want. What do I know? Come on, it would be great! Now that you're home, you have all the time! Come on, I swear I'll let you work in peace!"

It wasn't exactly what he expected but after all that idea wasn't that bad.  
He now helped Y/N to get up from the rocking chair.

"What do you say, can we talk in a moment? I need a shower."

He kissed her and she nodded, starting to undress before heading to the bathroom, to jump into the shower.  
Y/N went to bed, still unable to believe the turn that terrible day had taken. She began to read one of her books while the dog remained at her feet, wagging his tail happily to be next to her again.

"Hey no... Don't even try it! Get down from that bed right away..."  
Norman came out of the bathroom, dabbing his wet hair with a towel.

"What's wrong? He's always in bed with me!"

"But not with me!"

Y/N rolled her eyes, lifting the dog off the bed.  
"Excuse me buddy, he is a bit unpleasant at times. But he is a good man!"

Norman went to the door of the bathroom again, his voice muffled by the sound of the dryer on.  
A few moments passed and he finally managed to lie down beside her. He was exhausted by that day of traveling and excitement but he was so happy to have finally returned home; yes, because even if that wasn't really one of his apartments scattered around the world, he knew by now that his home was in Y/N's arms.  
Y/N smiled, lowering the book and he began to speak again.

"I really love dogs... I had one but he didn't sleep in my bed! I don't know... I find it unhygienic. Then with the baby..."

Y/N now looked at him with a sweet expression.  
"He is the cleanest dog I know and he is also very polite, so he won't go up if you don't want to... And our daughter will get used to him..."

"So he will stay with us?"

"Sure... I don't want him to go back again! It cost me too much to part ways with him a couple of years ago... I felt like a bad dog mom to him. Now that I'm going to be a real mother and I have to take care of a real human, I don't see why I can't take care of him too."

Norman saw the dog, crouching beside the bed, looking at him with his attentive eyes.  
"So you are in the family now too?"

The dog seemed to understand him, because he tilted his head to one side.  
Y/N put the book back and lay down, curling up in his arms. It seemed like centuries that this didn't happen and every night spent in that empty bed had been infinitely long.  
Norman held her close to him, sighing and trying to relax, but when he opened his eyes, he saw the same little dark eyes, which now looked at him imploringly on his side of the bed.  
"Oh... Okay fine! Get in... But you stay there at the bottom! And woe to you if you try to wake me up with that damp little nose!"

Y/N smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek before turning off the light.

"You're a good Dad already."


	32. Chapter 30

"I'm home!", he shouted, after removing the mail he held between his lips.

He closed the door behind him with a kick and hurried to place the bags on the ground. By now he had become the man with the suitcase, he didn't even know how many clothes he had scattered around the world but he certainly knew that a part had finally returned to his home. He put down his car keys, then got rid of his heavy jacket.  
He concentrated on the mail, a lot of publicity and probably bills.

"Honey, you will never imagine what I found-...",  
he continued in a loud voice to be heard by his companion, trying to understand what contained the big yellow envelope addressed to them.

"Y/N?"  
Norman waited a few moments without receiving a reply.  
In fact it was strange, usually the dog would run over him as soon as he crossed the threshold of the house, yet there was no sign of him either.  
He left the envelope on the table and headed upstairs.

"Honey, are you there? Y/N?"  
The bedroom was empty and so was the bathroom and the little girl's bedroom.  
He looked in the other rooms, knowing that he would not find her and panic began to make its way inside him, just like that night in Los Angeles, when Y/N seemed to have disappeared into thin air. This time she couldn't even be in the garden, it was mid-December and certainly the temperature was not as mild as in California.  
He ran down the stairs, heading for the basement.  
But where could she have gotten herself? The presentiment that something had happened became stronger and stronger. He searched for his cell phone in his pocket and tried to call her, without getting any answer.

"Y/N! Where are you? Please answer me!"

He dialed the number again, running up the stairs.  
Y/N never left home without telling him anything, at least not now that there was only about a week since the child would be born. Who could he call? Any hospitals? Jeffrey? Perhaps even Orlando...  
Suddenly a sound reached him in the distance, just as he climbed the last step.  
At the same time the door opened and the dog ran to him, wagging his tail.

"Here I am... Sorry but I saw your car and I didn't answer you... I was so-..."

"Do you know what time it is? I was damn worried!"

Y/N was struck by the man's anger, who stood there looking like someone who had just run the New York marathon.

"Four in the afternoon? Hey, what's wrong with you? We only went for a walk... And look what I bought you!"  
She smiled at him with satisfaction, taking out a bag, from which came an inviting scent.

"Norman, it's the pudding you like! I didn't mean to upset you.", Y/N corrected herself, seeing the still very upset expression of the man.

"I don't care about pudding! How did it occur to you to leave without telling me anything? I came back and found no one, something could have happened!"

"But... In fact, I would have called you if something had happened!"  
The woman put the bag down with a disappointed look.

"And then you went out while it's so damn cold? They recommended maximum rest and what do you do? Take the dog for a walk!"

"Oh stop it! I no longer have to rest! Those damn pills have slowed everything down.", she said in a tone between the afflicted and the resigned.

"Well... So you decided to walk some kilometers to speed things up? Do you think that's the case? Our little girl will have her time like everyone else... Why do you already have to torment her before she is born?"  
Norman was no longer so angry now that the worry had passed. He approached her, softened by the expression on her face.

"I know... I'm already a pain in the ass! But I'm tired... really, I can't take it anymore! Look at me, I don't even remember how my feet look, not even your clothes fit me better... And I finally want to see her, hold her... This waiting is driving me crazy!"

Norman smiled, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.  
"It's normal... It's the same for me too but you have to be patient... It's just a matter of a few days!", he said and held her, kissing her head.

"You see? You can't even hug me anymore!"

The man laughed and Y/N pretended to be even more offended.  
"Sure, just laugh!"

Norman stopped laughing yet he was still smiling, seeing her take off her boots just then.

"Are you happy now?", Y/N snorted, sitting down on the couch.  
Norman didn't have time to sit next to her, the dog immediately jumped between them.

"Come on, let's do something to help you relax!", he told her, helping her to lie down.  
They had just made themselves comfortable, when Y/N's phone started ringing, forcing Norman to get up to retrieve it and pass it to her.

"Yeah? Oh yes hi... No, nothing yet! No, nobody! Why?"  
Suddenly the woman's expression darkened and her voice began to show signs of nervousness.  
"But who made the excuse? No! We've already talked about it... My answer is still the same!"

Norman looked at her worried, sitting up again.

"Then tell her she can do it. And who cares about Brad and Angelina? No... I don't want to hear about it anymore and the next time she has something to say to me, tell her to call me... My decision remains, so it's a no anyway! Yes, bye..."

She hung up with a scowl, throwing the phone on the couch.

"What's going on?"  
Norman watched her confused as Y/N got up and started pacing back and forth in the living room, literally torturing herself right in front of him.  
She seemed much more than nervous, that phone call must have been pretty important.

"Oh, I can't believe it! She... Your manager decided to sell our daughter to the press!"

"What are you saying? Imagine if she-..."  
He was incredulous at that statement; it certainly wasn't a decision his publicist would make.

"But she did it... She called my agent to agree on exclusivity! We 'must' give them a photo exclusively, because even Brad and Angelina did so! You know.... She said so we can give money to charity. But do you think you do charity this way? I can't believe it!"

Norman stood up, trying to get her to reason.  
"Come on Y/N... Nothing serious happened, right? We decide! Come back and sit down..."

Y/N stopped to look him straight in the eye.  
"Don't tell me you didn't know anything! It's your manager Norman, not mine!"

"No, I assure you that she didn't tell me about it, maybe she wanted to hear your agent before proposing it to us both..."

"Yes of course... And since when did the parents' agents consult first?"

Norman sighed, now sitting on the chair nearby.  
He knew that sooner or later they would come to that conversation, they had avoided it for all those months, as an implicit price to pay and now it was time to give voice to what would have been the biggest problem of all that.

"Y/N you know... She will never be a normal child with two parents like us. We will try to protect her, we will try not to expose her to make her have a serene childhood and as normal as possible... But we cannot deal without our popularity. Believe me it's not easy... Every time I have to deal with Mingus it has always been that way, paparazzi always spied on us while we were driving his pram around. Now everything is a thousand times more amplified. You are not only known here and I have had all the newspapers talk for more than twenty years. I'm sorry... I've always felt guilty about the effect of success on my family and I know how much you hate this part of the job... But we can't do anything about it! It's our price to pay!"

For a moment he was surprised by his own words: Once someone else had said the same thing to him, when he had beaten every paparazzi, who tried to disturb his family. Now the roles seemed to be reversed, he was the one to accept the weight of his role and to try to make his partner think, still so young and jealous of private life.  
Y/N was silent in front of him, aware of the uncomfortable truth that contained those words.

"It is true, in a much more restricted situation but I remember the photos, the prejudices... I will never be myself and that's it! And it's not as beautiful as it may seem... There was a time when I hated my mother for those photos of me as a child which she published... I won't do that."

Norman got up to get closer to her again.

"How will we protect her from all this? She will be judged, she will be chased... I can't even think about it!"

"You don't have to think about it. It might not even be so. Who knows, she might even love these things! Look at Mingus, he is not at all bothered by the photos, the blogs, the fans..."

"Or she will be like me and send everyone to hell and hide herself..."

"And if that will be the case then we'll be by her side. And in any case, knowing both of us, I doubt that she will be easily put down by tabloids."

Y/N finally managed to smile.  
What could she do now? Their baby would be born and get all the attention from the media. She would not sell her to any magazine but she couldn't even hide her forever from the rest of the world, after all she's the testimony of their love.

"So, do you want to go back and sit down now?"  
They went back to the couch after that little family storm.  
The little dog, who had continued to follow the movements Y/N with a curious gaze, was now able to finally calm down to enjoy his well-deserved cuddles.  
It had been clear enough in fact and certainly for him too that would have been the best solution, especially now that the media seemed to go mad, with all the social networks and those infernal machines that had become cell phones.

"Oh, I almost forgot... There is an envelope for you! An important thing I guess."

Y/N cast a distracted look at the table, on which the envelope was placed.  
"Okay. I will open it later."

"Why? Open it now. Aren't you curious?"

"Not really... It's probably one of those useless catalogs!"

Norman got up to get the envelope between the woman's protests.  
"But why later? Look, if you don't open it, I'll do it!", he said, as he put the envelope against the light to try to understand its contents.

"Okay. Show me.", she snorted, snatching it from his hands.  
She knew very well what it was and it was precisely for that reason that she would have preferred to open it without Norman. She tore off the yellow paper and took out a bundle of bound sheets and a sealed envelope.

"So? It doesn't look like advertising!"

"Nope.", Y/N said seriously, turning the envelope around in her hands, not daring to open it while Norman took the opportunity to remove the package of white sheets and started reading it.

"Hey but this... Isn't this a script?"

"Yeah..."

The man started to scroll quickly through the pages, understanding almost immediately what it was.

"Is it the movie you were talking about back then?"

"Yes... It is the final draft. And here is the contract to sign...", she answered and waved the envelope without even opening it and placed it at the side table.

"Well what do you do... Won't you open it?"

"No need... I've already decided!"

"Yes I know... We had already talked about it at least two months ago."  
Norman had been thinking about that opportunity for the woman for a long time and that the character was so important to her. It wouldn't have been easy, he probably would have been busy on the other side of the world while Y/N would have been detained somewhere else with a child of a few months.

"No, I've already given my answer by phone... I don't see why they continue to insist. There are a lot of actresses, who would even make false papers for that role... And maybe they won't even need to lose twenty pounds like me!"

The man frowned, unable to believe he had heard right.  
"No? Did you say no? But it was you who told me-... It's important!"

"Yes but not so much! Come on, how can I think of working at certain rates with such a small child? And you then? What about you? You would be far away, we couldn't see each other for who knows how long... No, I can't embark on such a project now! In fact, I've been thinking about it a lot and I think the best thing to do would be to move to Beverly Hills, to your home!"

"Okay okay... That's nice of you but-... No! That's not what we had decided and not what you really want! If you renounce this for me now, I know you will regret it forever!"

"Not for me... I do it for you! I couldn't stand to leave her with a babysitter for who knows how many hours, maybe in a makeshift bungalow like a make-up room. What mother would I be?", Y/N replied as if she expected his reaction.

"A working mother... You might not be in a bungalow... If they want you so much, then you can have all the comforts you require."

"Yes, of course, but I must remind you that I am not the famous Norman Reedus!", she replied, teasing him.

"So? It's for our daughter! And then you are not the first actress who does that... Do it Y/N, don't be stupid! It's an opportunity!"

"No. I,ve decided, we really don't need to talk about it anymore! It's not that important... I'll think about it later, for a while."

Norman resigned himself and put the papers aside to return to her. That woman was really stubborn, almost more than him. Or maybe not.


	33. Chapter 31

Y/N suddenly opened her eyes and realized that the other half of the bed was empty. She looked at the clock, it was just six in the morning and there was no sign of Norman; it was impossible that he had already left and they had both slept so little that night, since the man woke up with every movement of his companion.  
Leaving the warmth of the blankets cost her an incredible effort but she wrapped herself in a big sweater and left the room.  
She then looked into the small room, now ready for their child, finding it deserted and finally resigned herself to go downstairs.

"Norman?"

She noticed that her voice was trembling slightly; there was something disturbing about that silent and still dark house, something very similar to one of her last recurring nightmares. She turned on the kitchen light, looking around suspiciously. Everything was exactly as she had left it the previous evening but not even the shadow of Norman was there.

"Norman?"

This time she said his name more worried, turning on the living room light. Perhaps for the first time in her life, Y/N wasn't sure anymore if she wanted to be alone. The dog, who followed her faithfully at every step, suddenly stopped as if he had sensed something, before running towards the dark corridor.  
Y/N felt anxiety grow as she struggled to put one foot behind the other.

"What's wrong? Is someone there?"  
The bathroom door suddenly opened, flooding the corridor with light, and Norman looked out with an anguished expression on his face.  
Y/N's panic immediately turned into an amused grimace; she was trying with all her heart not to burst out into laughter but he looked too funny with all that cream on his face and his wide blue eyes, which looked at her like she was a time bomb.

"Everything is okay now. It's just that I didn't find you in bed and I got worried! What are you doing?"

The man seemed to notice only then the mask and returned to the bathroom, looking absently at the mirror.  
"Oh yes... Nothing. I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you up, so I came down here. You can go back to bed if you want."

"I meant what do you do with that stuff?"

"What? This? Nothing..."

Y/N leaned against the door, watching him as he shaved his face carefully.

"What's your opinion?", the man asked and began wiping his face and studying Y/N's reflection in the mirror carefully.

"In my opinion what?", she urged him, seeing him frown and then relax again.

"Do you think I look like Daryl Dixon?"

Y/N laughed.  
"What? What kind of questions is that? Of course you look like him! You are Daryl Dixon!"

Norman remained impassive to that hilarity and continued.  
"A little boy told me a little while ago that I look a bit like him... Only a little, you know?"

"Well sure... You miss a lot of dirt and some asshole attitude."

She approached forcing him to turn to her as she took his hand.  
"Everyone loves Daryl Dixon... He is cool!"

"Cool?"

It was hard not to laugh, seeing him so serious.

"No, I mean... How can someone tell me that I only look a bit like him? Maybe I should lose a couple of pounds...", he said, looking back at himself in the mirror.

"What! Norman, what's going on? You're acting weird... It's not like you to worry about your appearance like that! You will always be Daryl! You're cool, okay! You're cool enough to be Daryl... To be anything you want! Indeed... You are even cooler!"

The sound, with which Y/N's had spoken those words, made him finally smile.

"I'm getting old, that's what's up!", he finally decided to say, looking away from her Y/E/C eyes but Y/N took his chin with one hand, forcing him to look at her again.  
"Hey, enough with that bullshit! It's ridiculous. Look here, you look younger than me, you seem to have made a pact with the devil!"

"But instead I'm some years older than you... Did you even realize that?"

"Yes, so what? And that's the problem? Our age difference? We have always said that the chronological age does not count. You are the young man among us! And then your Ex was even younger than me!", she answered and struggled to get a smile from him, before Norman looked down.

"No... It's not because of you... It's that... I'll look like I'm the grandfather of our little girl, not her father!"

Y/N's eyes widened in amazement; surely she did not expect that the reason for so much fear was growing old.  
"What are you saying? A lot of men have children at your age... Look at Jeffrey. I don't think there have been many problems! And then you already have a son."

"Yes, but when our little girl will be a Teenager she will see me as an old man!"

"So? You'll probably be the same like you are now! But what's your problem? She'll will be the luckiest girl in the world to have a father like you!"

"Oh thank you so much! How much confidence... Do you really think that?"

Y/N raised an eyebrow. Of course she thought so, the women from all over the world would still have thrown themselves at him, but who could blame them?

"Okay... Let's forget about it! Norman it makes no sense thinking about it now. The important thing is that you are a father to her, not that you are a young father!"  
Surely she hadn't convinced him, but he seemed heartened by those words; he needed to hear her say those words, just as she needed to be told that she would be a good mother.

"Thank you!", Norman said and printed a small kiss on her forehead.  
Y/N looked down at her belly, giving voice to all her frustration. This time it was him who smiled at her funny expression.

"Come on... The important thing is that all of us are feeling well!"  
He hugged her, his hands down her hips and hid his face in her hair. "You know, I know a foolproof way to speed things up...", he murmured softly, brushing her ear with his lips.  
Y/N laughed, withdrawing slightly. She couldn't believe that Norman wanted her at a time like this.

"Are you kidding me? Did you look at me?"

The man lowered his face to focus on the amused and surprised look on her face.  
"Sure... You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!"

Y/N burst out laughing.

"What? Don't you believe it? Look, I'm serious... I'm very serious!", Norman justified himself, looking for her gaze to show her he wasn't joking.

"Come on Norman... Stop it..."  
Y/N went out of the bathroom, laughing and he followed her with a sigh.

"Okay... Then it will mean that we will go back to bed for a couple of hours! We will have little time to sleep in a few days!"

A few hours later the bell rang insistently.  
Norman looked at the clock, realizing that it was already past noon and that the couple of hours had doubled. He turned to Y/N, who answered him with a sleepy moan.

"What?"

Again the bell.

"Don't go..."

The woman's words were barely comprehensible, while Norman stood up, cursing by himself all the electricians on the planet, all the bell-makers and why not, even the inventors of those infernal machines.  
He went down the stairs barefoot, risking to fall down at least a couple of times and opened without even checking from the peephole.  
Daylight dazzled him, forcing him to squint a bit.

"Oh hello Norman! Finally..."

"Hello?"  
Norman focused on the two figures standing in front of him and waiting to enter.

"Hello Norman! So what's up? Did you just wake up?"  
The baritone voice of the man surprised him even more than how tall he was.

"Oh look at your face! Don't tell me the baby was born and you didn't warn us?"

"No... No. No!"  
It was all he could pronounce.  
He stepped aside, letting his future in-laws come in, and they sat down as if that was already their home.

"Mom?"  
Y/N had only appeared in the living room at that moment, recognizing her mother's unmistakable voice.

"Oh darling! How are you feeling? So... Still nothing?"

"I'm fine. But what are you doing here?"

The puzzled look that Y/N gave Norman while hugging her mother, said a lot about her happiness for that unexpected visit.

"Well... It's Christmas soon!"

"But you don't celebrate Christmas?"  
Y/N looked at her puzzled, unable to take off that embarrassed smile from her face.

"Yes okay... Not religiously maybe... But I know you're crazy about it!", the woman said, taking out a huge chocolate cake and cherry cake.

"Don't pay too much attention...", her father whispered in her ear, embracing her warmly.

It was always the same story, her mother would not be able to stay one more day in their own home, waiting for the news of the birth of their niece; she had probably insisted until her husband had decided to satisfy her had taken her to their daughter, so as to be present.  
They were the roles that her parents had always played, but after all Y/N knew very well that it was her father who was more worried than the two of them and that he had only pretended to please his wife, when in reality when she called her twice a day it was just him. But they wouldn't have told anyone... In the end they were two actors too.

"And this Norman, is for you. It's a particular fabric, I had it made by a tailor in Paris, maybe you know it..."

Norman tried to show a semblance of lucidity in that barrage of terms. All he was sure of was that Y/N's parents had given him a very well-designed waistcoat, of which he could not even dream in his imagination.

"Honey sit down, you don't have to stand... How do you feel? Did you go to the hospital yesterday? What did they say to you?"

"Darling, stop it... Let her breathe!"

"Oh please shut up, you men don't even know what that means!"

Norman bit his lip to keep himself from laughing at the couple's skirmishes while Y/N sought for help in his eyes to free herself from that little nightmare.

"Yes Mom, it's okay! We were in the clinic yesterday and the Doctor said that everything is fine and that we will have to go back after Christmas for another check!"

"Oh good! Well... And can you sleep? You look so pale! I bet you're not eating anything!"

Y/N closed her eyes to her mother's touch, she loved her caresses but was absolutely suffocating when she decided to show off her apprehensive part. Now she wondered if she would do the same to her own daughter one day.

"She is always pale..."  
The laconic voice with which her father tried to silence his wife, would always remain one of the most amusing things that Y/N would remember of them.

"Okay okay... Yes Mom I'm fine, I eat, I sleep... Normam doesn't let me touch practically anything!"

"That's not true!", he defended himself, feeling all the eyes on him and only remembering in that moment that he was only wearing sweatpants. Maybe it wasn't the best way to greet your soon in-laws.

"In fact, Norman, you seem to be the one who doesn't sleep much lately! Even for me it was the same the last weeks before the birth of our girl! To hell with the constant fear that something might happen...", Y/N's father said and gave him a knowing look.  
They liked each other, even though they knew little; Y/N's father was a charming and very easy-going man. He had welcomed him like a brother.

"As if you were the ones who had to do all the work! Y/N, where can I put this stuff down?"

Only then did they notice the huge bags full of gifts they had leaned against the entrance.

"Mom, what's all that stuff?"

"Oh nothing... Things you'll need in the first period. We will stay for a few weeks here, to be sure to witness the birth of the child... But then we'll go back to and I'm sure you won't have much time to think about everything. But don't you have a babysitter yet? A person to help you in the first few weeks... It's not easy with a newborn baby! Then you, Norman, you should know-..."

"I know!"

The companion's fiery look made him regret that little outburst. He couldn't understand why, but Y/N seemed to ask him for help and certainly that wasn't the best way to do it.

"No Mom, but we will manage it... There is no need for a stranger to take care of our daughter! But where are you staying here?"

The thought that the parents wanted to install themselves in their home until the birth of the child gave her an uncomfortable feeling. That was absolutely out of question, she had left home at seventeen and would not be able to live under the same roof again with them, except for a few short breaks.  
She looked at Norman and recognized the same anguished expression at that idea when her father intervened to calm her. He knew his daughter and knew how much she cared about her privacy.

"Don't worry honey, we rented a small apartment near the center... We will still be very busy with everything."

Norman smiled, thinking that he too would one day call their little girl honey, while Y/N now returned to breathe, relieved by the news given to her by her father.

"Okay so I brought these things instead for dinner tonight! We will prepare all our house specialties! You have no other commitments, do you?"

"No... No we thought we would stay home... Waiting..."  
Norman's words were blocked by the look of Y/N, who nodded with her head.

"Oh great... Then we'll all be together! Will you hand me that bag over there?", her mother said and asked her husband.

"Norman... Can you come over here, please!"  
It wasn't a question, it was more of an order, and Norman couldn't help but follow her in the kitchen.

"What did I say?"

"They can't stay here tonight!"

"And why? It's Christmas soon... We usually spend it with our family and our families are always far away! I think it was a nice gesture, they came here to be with you!"

Y/N's eyes widened, unable to believe her ears.  
"You put yourself in it too? They came here to check on me... Can't you see it? I mean my Mom is a fantastic woman but I remember it: She will be after me day and night, tomorrow she will want to come to the clinic with us, nothing will go well for her... Please tell me this is not happening! Tell me I'm dreaming!"  
She leaned against the marble counter, bringing a hand to her face while Norman finally understood what she was afraid of and softened.

"You're not dreaming... But it's just for tonight! They are your parents! They love you, they let you fly alone around the world but they want to be present now, which is what you need! That's what I'd do with Mingus and that's what we'll do with our daughter too... And when she curses us and wants to get rid of her mother, you and I will stay in the living room to wait for her to calm down!"

Y/N looked at him more relaxed again.  
"Okay... But when my mother takes you to all the shops in Manhattan or Brooklyn or wherever, using you as a driver, porter and slave, I don't want to hear a moan from your mouth. Not even one!"

"Yes my lady!"


	34. Chapter 32

Norman felt he was about to give up, only a meter more and he would have fainted right there, on the pavement in front of the door. Mrs. Y/L/N rang the bell with the same insistence with which she had woken him up a few hours before.  
Y/N opened the door crossing her gaze, while Norman entered breathless, with an impressive load of shopping bags.  
He knew that sadistic smile and the slight glow in the Y/E/C of the woman's eyes: 'I told you so'. That's what it meant. And yes, she had told him: Her mother was worse than a general, those hours of shopping had been the most grueling interpretation he had ever had to make in his life.   
Not only was she able to get into all the open stores, finding something that suited her daughter, but she managed to complain about everything. He didn't even remember ever hearing anyone speaking so fast in his life and he didn't even remember when she had started talking about it so quickly in those few hours.  
Maybe Y/N was right, it couldn't be easy to always be perfect for such a mother.

He put all the bags on the table, hoping that the woman's attention would shift to something else, at least to get enough time to catch his breath.

"Oh there, over there... We got everything... Norman showed me a small grocery store, where we found aromatic candles... Listen here, honey!"  
She walked over to the couch with all the bags of candles and it literally looked like as if she just robbed that grocery store.

"Hey, what are you still doing there on the couch?", she  
scolded her husband, who was in exactly the same position she had left him in front of the TV.

"Listen darling, I haven't seen my daughter in four months, don't I have the right to be with her in peace?"

"Yes, mom, he is right.", Y/N intervened, as she began to empty the shopping bags.

"So many years and you still use the same excuse! It's already three o'clock! And the decorations? And the meat? Y/N, the potatoes certainly do not peel themselves!"

"God...", Y/N said to her companion, who now nodded fully understanding her words from a few hours before.  
It would have been a very long day. Her father now stood up, knowing he couldn't escape his fate.

"Oh finally! Pass me that stuff! I will take care of marinating the meat and preparing the sauce. But I need some of you to find some fir branches to use as a centerpiece... If you look inside there are candles and even those colored lights that-..."

" No mom, please, no more lights!"

" Okay... No lights! Yet as a child you liked it so much! Anyway, I saw that a few blocks further south there are plants, which are good... Maybe we can buy some of them to get this place a little more green!"

"Excuse me, Mrs. Y/L/N..."  
Norman really couldn't hold back.

"That is a park... A public park! I won't steal from a public park."

"Exactly! No one will notice... You won't steal it from a private garden! Come on, let's go before it get's dark..."

"Just go... You have no other choice if you want to get out of this...", Y/N concluded, sitting down at the table and starting to peel the potatoes.

Those that were supposed to be absolute rest days would now become longer and longer to accommodate her mother. This was just one more reason to hope that their baby would hopefully decide to come into the world as soon as possible. Just as her father was preparing to put on his jacket and Norman lowered his hat on his head, armed with scissors, the bell rang again.

"Surprise!"

Norman was stunned for a moment looking to the door; he couldn't say anything, couldn't even move a muscle, so huge was the surprise.

"Dad!"

"Oh God I can't believe it! I don't believe it! It is really you!"  
He welcomed his now adolescent and almost as tall as him son into his arms.

"Hey how you grew up!"  
He then looked up again, recognizing the two huge eyes and that smile. It was his Ex-Wife.  
He was happy to see his son but at the same time that image of his reunited family had brought him back to reality, making him remember where he was and above all with whom. He broke away from his son, glancing at Y/N's father, who had watched the whole scene behind him. It was so embarrassing to him and he didn't even know why.

"Well..."  
Norman took a step back, undecided about what to do.  
Perhaps it would have been better to go out with his son, instead of creating such a difficult situation for all of them.

"Norman, what are you doing? Come on, invite him in! Come in... Please!"  
Y/N's mother had taken over the situation as a good hostess. He glanced at his son and noticed that Y/N had turned cold as ice and that she showed no signs of movement. Then her mother headed for the door to welcome the new guests.

"It's a pleasure... I am Y/N's mother and he is her father."

"Yes, well... This is my son... Mingus and his mother."

There were a series of embarrassed smiles and handshakes. Only then did Norman realize that he was the only one in the room still speaking. He saw Y/N, who slowly rose from her chair to reach them, with an expression similar to that of a man condemned to death. He sought for her gaze but could not meet it while Y/N was shaking his son's hand, with one of her radiant actress smiles all too sailed.

"We were just preparing dinner... You'll join us, won't you?"

His Ex-Wife smiled at Mrs. Y/L/N's proposal but took a step back instinctively.  
"Oh no, I actually only accompanied the boy... My husband is out here in the car waiting for me, tonight we will be having dinner with some friends. Tomorrow morning we will go back to spend Christmas day with my family and since we were flying, we thought we would come here."

"Yes, I knew that Dad would not come this year so we thought we would instead! Even if I hoped my sister would already be born!"

Mingus turned clearly to Y/N, who stiffened slightly.

"Anyway, we brought her lots of gifts... I tell my husband to bring them in, okay?"  
His Ex-Wife lowered her voice, turning to Norman and Y/N.

"Of course he can also come with us to dinner... I don't want him to be in the way! It was just for a greeting."

"What... It will be a pleasure having him here!"  
Y/N was striving to be what everyone expected from her and she was also succeeding.

"I'm sorry Y/N, Norman knows I don't like improvisations, I preferred to warn you first but Mingus insisted on making it a surprise."

"I would say they he did it!"  
The man smiled incredulously, stroking the hair of his son.  
At that moment his Ex-Wife's husband made his entrance, with a large number of packages of all shapes and colors.

"Thank you very much... Mingus will come with us to dinner, so you can enjoy your own dinner with your friends!"

Norman followed the woman and the man towards the door.

"We'll be back to pick him up as soon as the dinner is over. Around midnight I think!", she said and hurriedly embraced her son, who was immediately attracted to the dog and his desire for attention.

"Thanks!"  
Norman stopped her in the doorway, giving her a look of sincere gratitude.  
"He wanted to see you both so much... And I know you wanted him here too."

The woman's eyes shone with a golden light as she leaned back to meet Y/N's.  
"Thank you too! I was glad to finally meet you. I know you wouldn't want to hear it, but if I came to accompany them it's also to reassure you and to give you my best wishes for the little girl."

Y/N, now also at the doorstep next to her companion, felt the need to withdraw again.  
"Thank you..."

"Okay... Now we'll go then! See you tonight!"

Norman closed the door and turned around: Y/N was already far away, while Mingus was now playing at the piano, under the supervision of Y/N's father.

"Are you all right, honey?", Y/N's mother asked and had joined her daughter, who had returned to peel the potatoes. It was obvious that this surprise had been a shock to her at such a time.  
"I know it's not easy... But you behaved really well!"

Y/N pushed away impatiently when her mother tried to caress her hair.  
"It's okay, mom! Everything's fine... I just need a moment..."

"Okay... But don't let the evening spoil you! It is important for Norman,just look at him..."

The mother went away into the kitchen and Y/N tried to breathe deeply, before seeing her man kneeling beside the piano with his son. He was really another person, it was what she had never wanted to see in all those months.

"So what do you say, let's go together to get the christmas tree?"  
Y/N's father had buttoned his jacket and was preparing to face the frost, which was rising as it got dark. It was amazing how much her father could do with young people, he always seemed much more comfortable with children than with adults, probably because he had never really grown up. While Mingus was now ready too, Norman still tried once again looking for Y/N's gaze, which instead had her back to him to reach the kitchen and wash the potatoes under the water.

"Okay, I'll see you soon... But if they arrest us, come and pay the bail!"

He went out, clutching his scarf around his neck to protect himself from the icy wind and began to make way for that unlikely company.  
He was with his son and his father-in-law. The absurd thing was that they seemed to have known each other since forever, there was no embarrassment now that they had left the house and ventured through the almost deserted streets.  
And then he was reminded of the famous verses that had haunted him for months:

";Lovers that bless the dark  
On benches in Central Park  
It's autumn in New York  
It's good to live it again."


	35. Author's Note

A/N: The verses from chapter 32 (";Lovers that bless the dark  
On benches in Central Park  
It's autumn in New York  
It's good to live it again.")  
are from this song:

Frank Sinatra - Autumn In New York

from the album 

Come Fly With Me


	36. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter will be a little bit longer than the others. I admit it's hard to think of Christmas Eve at the moment, but I'll try it.
> 
> Enioy!  
> Kate~

"Here it is: Crepes stuffed with cream and walnuts! To follow, ratatouille, gnocchi on cream of potatoes and boeuf bourguignon with mushrooms and rice... I would have preferred noodles but my husband doesn't like them. And to top it off, the Christmas tree!"

Y/N's mother gave a knowing look to Mingus, who was bringing the salad to the table. Norman sighed, before smelling the red wine he had just uncorked. The fact that he and his father-in-law had already shared a bottle of excellent Burgundy wine meant that they had become more than friends and that they were probably already a bit tipsy. Her father now looked at him from the other side of the table.

"Norman where is Y/N?"

"Here! I'm here."  
The woman made her entrance just then.

"Where were you?"

"I was... I was on the phone with my agent. So... Are we going to eat now or not?"

"Do you always need to work, Y/N?", her mother protested, starting to serve the appetizers.

Norman waited for his companion to join them and moved her chair to accommodate her; it was not a customary gesture for him and he knew perfectly well that Y/N was not a woman who appreciated certain fads, but it seemed like the only way to approach her right now.

"Is everything okay?", he whispered to her as soon as she sat down.

"Of course!"  
She smiled at him as always, lightly squeezing the hand that the man held onto her shoulder.

Norman took his place at the head of the table, feeling a little ridiculous when he was facing her father from the other end. They were the two heads of families and that strange meeting probably marked the beginning of a long series of similar moments. Mingus meanwhile looked at the crepes, as if he hadn't eaten for centuries and even Norman had to admit that they hadn't eaten such good food for years. Perhaps all the suffering of hours of shopping with Mrs. Y/L/N had helped.  
Now Mingus looked at his father with an oddly amused smile.

"Dad, where does that jacket come from?"

Norman looked around, then raised his head again with some embarrassment.  
"Mr. And Mrs. Y/L/N gave it to me. Tailor-made by a tailor in Paris."

"Oh okay.", the boy answered, biting now into a piece of bread. Norman felt his son's eyes on him while Y/N's father smiled, fully understanding the point.  
He raised his arms to the sky, as a sign of victory.

"It's okay? Did you all hear that? It's okay for him! I think it's the best you can ask for! It's okay...", Norman now laughed, finally understanding that his son was teasing him.

"But by the way... Now you have the room and everything... But what about a name?"

Y/N reluctantly raised her head, her mother was stressing her with that story sincr who knows how long.  
"Mom! For real? Now?"

"Yes... You didn't tell us what you would call her! And it's still my sister. Can we give some ideas?"  
Mingus wasted no time in showing off his questionable proposals.  
"Oh! And why not Mystique, like in X-Men? No, wait... Or Pepper, like the woman from Iron Man!"

Y/N looked at Norman, who nodded, giving her the green light to finally discover that card.  
"Okay... We've decided for a while... It's not Mystique and not Pepper... I bet you won't like it, I'll tell you right away! But know that there is no way to change it, you will never be convinced and only she can hate us for what we did to her in the end!"

Mingus raised both eyebrows.

"As a premise it's not bad!"

"Okay... She will be called C/N... C/N Reedus!"  
Y/N decided not to look at the expressions of those present but she already imagined her mother, who looked at her with disapproval from behind her lenses and her father, who instead laughed under his beard for that brilliant name.  
"Well?" Norman, who had looked at each of those faces instead, needed their approval. Mingus was the first to speak. "C/N?"  
Now Norman found himself in difficulty, certainly he did not expect his son to make such a remark. It was more a thing he would have expected from his mother-in-law. He looked at Y/N and saw her amused smile because of his embarrassment.

"Okay, now I'll explain... I have chosen it-..."

"It's true, Norman chose it... But let's say I have helped him a little! We had chosen C/N, you know the character of our film... And so on..."

Norman cleared his throat, wiping his lips with his napkin. He encouraged her with his eyes and the companion continued with more difficulty.  
"That was the first choice. But then I came across this book, which listed all the names and so I started looking through it."

"Oh Y/N, what a great idea."  
Her mother was moving the food, hearing that story and Y/N looked at her worried, without have the courage to continue.

"Yes... She gave me a list of the names she would have preferred and among them was it. So what do you all think? How does it sound?"

"Very good Dad! It sounds great!"  
Mingus was exalted as never before, that was really the most beautiful name in the world for him, now that he knew the whole story. He couldn't wait to tell everyone, he couldn't wait to pick her up and play with his sister.

The whole table was galvanized by food and that wonderful news. Now that she had a name, their child seemed to become a full-fledged family member.  
Norman realized that little by little Mingus was yielding to the charm of Y/N and that, after a first moment of bewilderment at the news of the arrival of their daughter, now he really wanted to participate in that joy. The fact that he had insisted on spending Christmas with them was a proof for him.

Later Mrs. Y/L/N began clearing the table.  
"Y/N don't you want to eat more?"

"No Mom, thanks..."

"But love you have to force yourself... Look, you haven't touched anything!"  
She took the plate still practically full of food. "Don't start with that... I bet you haven't even had lunch! I know why you do it! It's because of your body. I remember when you only ate those tasteless soups. What do you worry about... You'll see that you'll look exactly like before!"

Y/N looked up, before getting up to help her clear the table.

"And now, what are you doing? Stay there!"  
Her father as always ran to help his daughter.

"Honey, don't overdo it... Leave her alone! You also didn't eat anything when you we're pregnant with her."

"I'm hust not hungry... Really!"

"It is not true that I didn't eat, I didn't eat only those junk, which your mother prepared for me!", replied his annoyed wife, heading to the kitchen.

Y/N's fatger sank into his chair, sighing.  
"Touché!"  
He now made a new toast with a glass of eine towards Norman.

"Dad... There's something I have to ask you. Mom has already said that it's okay but you know the rule..."

Norman didn't even have time to drink from the wine. "So?"

"There's a concert... February..."

"So?"

Y/N's mother made her entrance with the huge plate of beef and mushrooms, followed by her daughter with rice.

"Please Dad! All my friends will go... You don't have to be there too, Mom's friend will come with us! Please, please!", he answered the question.

"Okay, okay Mingus, you're going to the concert but I want to know everything and I'll talk to your mother first."

"Thank you so much Dad! I'll call my friends right away!"

"No! Now you finish the dinner then tell then... And another thing: I give you permission but I categorically forbid you to go alone!"

"But I'm old enough! In a few months you won't be able to tell me anything about that anymore! At my age you were already doing everything that was on your mind!"

Y/N looked at him worried, managing to feel the bitterness that Norman was trying to hide.

"You know I do it for your own good..."

"No, it's not true. You don't do it for my own good, otherwise you would let me go there when I want! You just don't want that I grow up!"

"Hey, what's that got to do with it? No! That's not true…"

"It is."

Those were the resentful words of a normal boy, towards a normal father but they were also harsh accusations for Norman, who had spent his whole life trying not to make the mistakes of the past and to protect his child from the effects of his popularity.

The silence had settled on the table, after that heated argument between father and son.

"Who wants beef? Honey, give me the potatoes, please?"

Mingus meanwhile accepted that his father would let him take a sip of his wine, sanctioning peace for at least that evening. It would have been a shame to ruin such a special occasion. Y/N's father started to tell some of his anecdotes, while his wife again began giving each of them their food, starting with one of her monologues, which soon made everyone forget what had happened.  
Notman found himself to be a great shoulder for the stories of that big man. Wine had helped bring out that more comical and 'theatrical' side, and Norman realized that it would be an interesting character, to take inspiration from in the future. Y/N's father managed to become the caricature of himself, without falling into ridicule, it was probably the same charisma he had passed on to his daughter.

"Guys I still have to congratulate you on the movie. Is it true? We went to the premiere. A true masterpiece!"

"Thank you! Yes, well... Maybe it was a little too different from the original!"  
Norman wiped his lips with a napkin and slight embarrassment. He had a beautiful memory of the premiere of that film.

Y/N's fatger did not seem to pay attention to his clumsy expression and increased the dose of his wine. "Don't drink so much, please!", his wife already said.

"Oh, what a couple you guys are! And the dialogues... Who wrote them? Funny, brilliant... I literally saw myself with my wife again, which is saying something!"

His wife punched him against the arm, causing everyone to laugh.

"And you darling... Absolutely divine! Finally a movie where I don't have to skip any scenes!"

"Dad!" Y/N's eyes widened.

"What? It's the truth! No, the other one you did together... It was a brilliant idea to leave you completely dressed in that scene!", her father said and Y/N tried to restrain herself, feeling the well-known frustration growing. She was stronger than she pretended to be, she hated feeling like a child because of her father, which right now made her feel like a total failure, a disappointment.

"Can you just stop it! I'm tired of being called a porn actress by my father! Like I'm not able to act good without undressing... Is that what you see when you watch one of my movies? Do you think that's the only thing what they ask me to do?"

"Y/N!"  
Norman tried to call her back while her mother shook her head, accustomed to that discussion.

"On Y/N, calm down! Stop with this story of the pornodiva... You're a little too touchy! It's enough now!"  
The condescending tone of her father, who tried to belittle the words just said, made her even more angry.

"No. It's not enough! Ever since I was twenty I have been hearing the same things over and over again. At least Mom told me right away, she tried to oppose it and then she understood... But you don't! You always put me on that shelf, avoiding looking at me... I bet you'd be ashamed when they'd ask you if your daughter was the one who was naked in the bathtub in that movie. As if I were really a-..."

"Enough!"  
The man's deep voice had suddenly become frightening. Even Mingus looked down all the time as he ate in silence.

"Sure! It's never the right time for you! Perhaps if I had become a lawyer then you'd be happy with me for the first time in your life! Why did you even come here!"

Norman was struck by Y/N's words full of disappointment and the expression of being hurt on the man's face, which now seemed incredibly more old.  
For a moment he saw himself and Mingus on the other end of the table, in that man and that woman, who now faced each other just as they had done before.  
He decided to give voice to his thoughts, hoping to be able to calm down the situation. He felt the eyes of all those present on him and realized that he had made the right choice: Not only had Mingus understood his words a little earlier, but Y/N and her father had seen each other again in the little skirmishes of a father with his teenage son. Norman himself had seen himself in that father who simply could not see his own naked daughter, while having sex with a stranger, even if only for fiction.

"See Mingus? It will always be like that between us... In twenty years you will still call me the prudish father and I will disapprove of your choices, because I will always see you as my little son!"

He suddenly felt sick at the thought of what he would have thought, if Mingus had found herself in the same situation as Y/N at that moment, only vice versa: Friends miles away from home, with an older woman who is already mother of a teenager and a career in Hollywood and around the world...

Y/N's mother tried to fill the silence, which had become heavy.  
"Y/N darling, what happened to that new movie? Is it true you won't do it? You practically signed!"

"What? Sorry Mom... I'm sorry, I wasn't listening!"

"As usual... I talked about that movie! What you told me about..."

"Oh, yes... No, I guess I won't do it. I decided to give up on it... It's not the most responsible thing to do at a time like this!"

"Why? I know you cared so much!"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter! I thought about it and it will be better this way... And we will buy a house in L.A. too so Norman can be closer to Mingus."

"And what if the movie was in Los Angeles?" Norman had dominated all the comments with that question.

"What do you mean?"

"If your film was shot in Los Angeles instead in Europe... What if we would move there and shoot the same days that I'm going to shoot in the studios in the city? We could share the tasks, you would still be at home in the evening and someone could take care of our baby... And Mingus' nanny will be there too."

"Yes, but what does that mean?"

"This..."  
Norman pulled out a folded envelope of his jeans pocket.  
"I wanted to give it to you at midnight but since we are all here together..."

Y/N took the envelope and opened it with uncertain hands.

"It's your contract... Or rather a new contract! I just convinced the director that there are some great sets in L.A.. The rest will be recreated..."

"What do you mean with recreating?"  
Y/N seemed more upset, than happy.

"Well you know... In the studio, on the computers... The sets..."

"But how... How? Norman, how can you recreate what happened in those places? These are not things that a bunch of set designers can get their hands on!"  
Y/N stood up, feeling she was about to cry. She was as surprised as everyone else by her reaction and walked quickly into the kitchen, without saying a word anymore.

Her father and Norman got up in unison to follow her but her mother restrained her husband, letting her partner talk to her.  
When he entered the kitchen, Norman found her leaning with both hands on the bar now full of dishes to put in the dishwasher. Y/N had her back to him as she tried to regain control and didn't even notice him.

"Hey... I'm sorry! I thought of doing something good for you, I didn't mean to ruin everything... I didn't think about the importance of that..."

Y/N silenced him with the gesture of her hand; now that he was near her, Norman saw that her eyes were closed.  
It took a few seconds for her to look at him with an unreadable face.

"Okay, okay! You didn't do anything... I'm just nervous about my father... Now go back to the others... I've already ruined the evening..."

Norman tried to read her face, it was really strange that Y/N didn't take the opportunity to argue about what had just happened. She was not one to let go so easily.

"I don't think so... Okay, I know, if I had known about the boy's visit I would have warned you! I know it's a heavy situation, your parents, my son. In short we were not ready for all this, if it had been just you and me, I would have explained everything better to you..."

"Are you sure everything is going well?"

"Sure..."

"I understand, really Norman, it's enough! I just need to stay a little alone!"

The man's face was visibly frowning but Y/N's tone was peremptory and almost annoyed.  
"Really. I'll be there in a moment! Why don't you bring some more wine for the dessert?" Y/N softened, trying to smile and put two bottles of sparkling wine in his hands. Norman pursed his lips in a small unconvinced pout and finally decided to go back to their guests. Maybe Y/N was right, that was not the time to discuss in front of everyone.

The evening continued in a more relaxed way, the boy had convinced his father to pick up a guitar and so they ended up singing a series of songs, with the accompaniment on the piano of Y/N's father. Y/N seemed a little uneasy after their brief conversation in the kitchen; Norman watched her out of the corner of his eye as she helped her mother rearrange the table and saw her disappear from time to time in the kitchen. As soon as they were alone, he knew they would argue; Y/N had to be furious about that contract story and she was not entirely wrong. It was almost midnight when her parents decided to go and call a taxi back to the hotel. "Okay darling... I recommend you to rest now!"

Yet it was one of the best nights that Norman had remembered for a long time, despite the small and big squabbles, he felt he was an integral part of that family.

"Yes mom, don't worry!"  
Y/N hugged her mother, inhaling her unmistakable perfume of lipstick and lacquer.

"Tomorrow we'll be having lunch with some friends, but if anything should happen don't hesitate to call us!"

As he was tipsy, Mr. Y/L/N managed to scare him a little when he looked him straight in the eye; he was telling him that he had entrusted his daughter to him and that he would hold him responsible for anything.

"Of course... We will surely call you!"

They shook hands a little formally, before deciding to hug each other for the final greeting.  
When Y/N finally closed the door, she let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Excuse me. I'm really sorry for my parents! Sometimes they don't realize that they're so intrusive!"

"They're great!"  
Mingus displaced everyone with that comment. Of course, it was clear that he felt a disproportionate admiration for Y/N's father, but it was not for him to go that far.

"What are you complaining about, Y/N?"

Y/N smiled weakly and took the opportunity to say goodbye already. "Excuse me guys... I would like to stay with you but I am completely exhausted! I leave you alone for a while with your father, okay? It made me so happy to meet you!"

Mingus got up from the carpet, moving closer to her to hug her. Y/N looked at Norman displaced, when she saw him stand on tiptoe to kiss her on her cheek. She lowered herself, returning the unexpected gesture. "It was so nice to finally get to know you and to meet you too!"

"Goodnight Norman... And a good night to you too!"

Perhaps this was even more unexpected: The boy now put his hand on her belly to greet his little sister and then returned to look at the woman with a sweet expression.  
"Do you mind if I already call her my sister?"

Y/N smiled in surprise.  
"No... Of course not! She already is your sister and she'll be happy to have a brother like you!"

The smile that replied to her was exactly that of Norman, the young Norman Reedus, not the one who watched her from the couch, still with the guitar in his hands. Y/N had never noticed that similarity in Mingus' eyes, which at first sight seemed so similar to those of his mother's. Norman got up at that moment, putting the guitar on the carpet and put his arm around her to give her a kiss. He whispered in her ear, then followed her with his eyes as she climbed the stairs.

"So? What do you think?", he then asked in a whisper to his son, who was already expecting that question.

"I like her a lot. She's a woman with balls!", was Mingus' provocative but honest answer.

"Okay, that's good to know, I'm glad you like her!", Norman said, using the same expression as his son.

"Yes... But is she really a pornodiva?"

"Mingus! What are you saying!", Norman silenced him immediately.

"She said it...", he justified himself, raising both hands to defend himself as well.

"Why do you always have to be so naive? You know very well that she didn't mean that!"

Norman now was surprised to see the fury with which his son defended hinself; probably he had actually identified with Y/N a little bit.  
"Well... I know that Dad! I do like her! And I know that she is the woman you would die for!"

This was beyond all possible forecasts, all of Y/N's insecurities had proved unfounded.  
And Norman couldn't wait to tell her.


	37. Chapter 34

Norman closed the door with a sigh. It had been a really heavy day and so full of emotions. Now that his son was moving away to his mother again, he already felt that well-known feeling of emptiness in his stomach.  
His laughter still echoed in the deserted room, as he looked with nostalgia at the scores abandoned on the carpet and the drawings, which Mingus had scrawled in every corner: That boy really had talent, he would become an artist.

He turned off the light, postponing the cleaning to the next day and headed upstairs.  
The room was dim and the dog raised his ears as he heard him open the door.

"Y/N..."

The woman was lying on her side on the covers and her back was turned to him.  
Norman approached slowly, trying not to make any noise so as not to wake her up. He took off his jeans and the jacket, remaining in underwear and a shirt; he tried to get under the sheets but as soon as he touched the bed, Y/N woke up.

"Hey...", she muttered sleepily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up!"

"I wasn't sleeping...", she replied, continuing to turn her back on him.

Norman approached until he was attached to her back and was lying on one elbow to kiss her neck, like every night. Y/N smiled at that contact.

"You made an impression tonight! Mingus fell completely in love with you!"

Y/N didn't answer.

"About the movie... I didn't want to intrude on your work... You know I would never do it, but I know the writer perfectly and he wanted to talk to me... Really Y/N, you can still refuse, it was just a proposal! But... Are you even listening to me?"

Only then did he notice that there was something strange in the woman's silence. He saw her tighten her lips as her breaths grew more agitated.

"Y/N what happens? What's wrong? Is it the baby?"

Y/N nodded with her eyes closed, clutching the pillow.  
Norman panicked, he was supposed to know what to do. He put his hand on her tense belly and immediately realized that it was really happening.  
"Okay... Okay honey... Tell me, how long have you had the contractions?"

Y/N tried to keep herself in control.  
"I don't know. A few hours..."

"A few hours? A few hours! How many few hours?"

"Norman please... I don't know..."

"You don't know? Since when?", he asked again and saw her shake her head.

"Since... Since your son came..."

Norman looked at her incredulously.  
"What? But he arrived this afternoon. Since afternoon? Are you completely crazy not telling me anything!"

"Don't scream! Not now... Please..."

The man finally realized that this was not the time to scold her; he quickly climbed over, to kneel on the floor by her side of the bed and face her.  
"Okay... Breathe now... Concentrate!"

It took a few more seconds before the contraction passed and her eyes returned to look at him.  
Norman's expression softened, seeing the weariness painted on the woman's face.  
He pushed her hair back from her forehead, trying to look more serene.  
"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I couldn't ruin everyone's dinner... Can you think of it? My parents and your son together... It would have been a disaster! My mother would have gone mad... And then... I wasn't sure... The pain was'nt so strong before, it's only been a couple of hours like that..."

Norman now remembered all the moments when he had looked at her this das, she acted strange, absent, too silent and too nervous. How had she even managed to hide what was happening from everyone?

"Okay... Now let's go to the hospital!"  
He told her to stand up but Y/N stopped him, holding him by the hand.

"No. It's still too early!"

"But how do you know it's too early? You have contractions since how many hours?"

"No it's early... Really Norman, it could take hours!"

"Okay... But from now on I'll check the time!"

"Take a seat.", Y/N smiled, pointing to the clock next to their bed.

  
  
Two hours had gone by and Norman kept shifting his worried gaze from the clock to the woman's face, who was trying to stifle the moans.

"Y/N enough, now let's go!"

"No!", she replied, shaking her head once more.

"I don't care what you think, I won't hear any more reasons! It's time to go!"

He continued rubbing her back as she leaned against the door frame, waiting for the pain to pass. She had tried to stay in bed but her back pain had become impossible to manage.

"We will call the Doctor!", she finally managed to say again, still out of breath.

"Okay, we will call from the car. Let's go!"

"Norman... I can't go out like this!"  
In fact, she only wore a huge shirt and almost invisible shorts under it.

"Ugh, yeah, I'll help you..."  
He looked around confused, not knowing where to start.

"I'll do it!"

Norman followed her with his eyes as she took a couple of clothes from the closet and disappeared into the bathroom, only to come out a few minutes later, completely transformed.

"Looks like you're going to a funeral!"

Y/N put on a heavy dark sweater.  
"I don't have much choice. Okay, help me with my boots!"

"I think you're the only woman who shows up in the hospital in boots."

"And how should I go? In slippers? It's December!"

"Yeah. Christmas...", he smiled at her, holding out his hand.  
Their little girl had waited for that special day to come into the world.

They went down the stairs, talking over everything they needed.  
"Okay, the documents are downstairs in the kitchen, the bag?"

"Norman, the bag is already in the car, you know..."  
Her words fell on deaf ears, as she opened her eyes and realized she had made a mistake.  
"What's up?", Y/N asked worriedly.

"The car... The car is the one our driver brought to the garage the other night..."

"In the garage? What garage?"

"That garage in L.A. ..."  
Norman ran a hand through his hair, waiting for the woman's reaction.

"But why did you leave it there? You know very well that we never really use it. And now what are you going to do?"

"I don't know Y/N... Let me think..."

Y/N leaned back on the sofa, feeling that the pain was coming back.  
"Well, I hope you'll think quick..."

Norman felt panic grow. How could he have been so stupid?  
"Okay, I'll just call our bodyguard!"

"You can't call him, it's Christmas..."

"And what should we do? Wait! Wait, we have a car here! God, I'm stupid!"

Y/N was in the middle of a contraction and kept showing him her back, unable to speak.  
He had to hurry, they had already waited too long in his opinion.

"Okay... I will go up and prepare another bag with what we have... Then tomorrow I'll ask our driver to take me to the car in the garage, okay?"

Y/N nodded quickly.  
"Tell me what do you need... Where do I find it?"

"Oh Norman I have no idea... Please just hurry up!"

He saw her dig her nails into the fabric of the couch and realized there was no time to lose.  
It took only a few minutes to get back into the living room with a bag full of stuff.

"We can go! What are you doing?"

Y/N looked up at him innocently, while sitting on the sofa she was quietly playing with the dog.  
"Nothing, I was waiting for you..."

"And you played with the dog?"

"What should I do? I gave him food, who knows when we'll be back! We'll have to call someone, to take care of it! I bet you didn't even think about taking my toothbrush with me..."  
Y/N stood up slowly, catching the guilty look of her companion.

"Wait a second!"

"Hey no... No no, forget it. We will think about it tomorrow, okay? Now let's go, I don't know how long I can resist this pain!"

"Don't you dare give birth in the car!"

"Oh hell, let's hope not..."

Norman smiled and closed the door behind them.  
"I wonder if the dog will be be jealous of her."

"Impossible! He will love her!"

They got into the car just in time before a new contraction came stronger than the previous ones.  
"Try to concentrate!"

"You too! Look at the road for heaven's sake! We are in New York, Norman!"

He felt a strong current of cold air and was forced to turn around to see that the woman had opened the window.  
"What are you doing? It's December!"

"It's a hellish heat in here. I need fresh air...", she replied, abandoning herself to the back of the seat. Norman realized that, although the pain had passed, the woman did not seem to get better.

"What's wrong? Nausea?"

She just nodded, continuing to breathe deeply.

"Do you want me to pull over?"

" No... Just drive to that damn hospital!"

Norman could not really watch the road, Y/N's face grew more pale and she seemed about to vomit at any moment. He parked right in front of the clinic entrance, helping her to get out of the car before crossing the sliding doors and being in the completely empty hall.  
They looked around perplexed.  
That was one of the best private clinics in New York, it guaranteed maximum efficiency, combined with discretion, so it was chosen by the most famous people here. Norman wished his bodyguard or some of his friends were there, he was no longer used to moving on his own and he would feel more secure with them.  
Finally a young nurse with long hair appeared at the reception.

"Yes, what can I help you with?"

"Finally... Good morning, or maybe night, I... My wife... Not yet, I mean... God... Y/L/N, her name is Y/L/N!"  
Norman realized he was babbling things senseless, as he felt Y/N stiffen at his side, again in pain.  
"The contractions started this afternoon... Now they come every five minutes... We have to contact a Doctor!"

The nurse remained for a moment absorbed as if she didn't understand what he was saying, until she addressed him staring into his eyes.  
"But you... Aren't you Norman Reedus?"

He couldn't believe his ears. He stood there motionless, staring at the woman, as if suddenly he had become a wax statue.  
"No!", was his curt reply.

Instead, the laughter of her companion arrived, which, despite the pain, had not been able to restrain herself from the comedy of that scene.

"Of course he is... Don't mind him... My name is Y/N Y/L/N, we must have reserved a room back then... I tried to call the Doc but he didn't answer and-..."  
She clung to the counter, trying to catch her breath.  
"This is my first child, I'm not sure if it's time... But..."  
She was forced to stop and the nurse finally realized that there was no time to lose.

"A wheelchair for Miss Y/L/N. Now! We will take her to her room until one of the doctors will arrive... I will call them immediately, the boss has no time."

Norman rolled his eyes. It didn't matter that it was night and that the patient would have preferred to feel safe with a familiar face, what mattered was their popularity and prestige, that that birth would lead to the good name of the clinic. He was disgusted by that hypocritical and corrupt system. He didn't want his daughter's birth to be a business.

They were now led into a cozy room, with warm colors and beautiful paintings on the walls.  
"Here is your room... Now get comfortable, here you will find the bathroom and everything you need. Soon the doctor will be with you. If you need, ring the bell and I will be with you in a second."

They saw the nurse go out, with a smile all over her face, probably she would have started to write on social media that she had just met Norman and Y/N.  
And that would have been a disaster.


	38. Chapter 35

The old doctor looked up at the patient, keeping his hand on her belly.  
"So Miss Y/L/N... I have good and bad news, which one do you want to hear first?"

Norman looked at him incredulously. What was he saying?

"The... The good news...", she replied hesitantly, slightly shaking her partner's hand.

The Doctor moved away from the bed, taking off his gloves. They saw him take the medical record and begin to examine it carefully before speaking.

"Doctor... Is something wrong?", Norman urged him, worried.

"No, no! Everything is okay. The child is healthy, moves regularly and is ready to be born..."  
He paused, writing down a couple of words in his incomprehensible writing.  
"...But probably not today."

"What do you mean not today? Y/N has had contractions for at least twelve hours... They are regular and strong..."

The doctor smiled, as if he had heard that sentence millions of times. The fathers were always so anxious...

"Yes, I know... But it's still the initial phase... What we call podromic. It is often the case that women, especially in early pregnancy, exchange symptoms for labor. The contractions she feels are nothing but the preparation for the actual birth. You see? On examination the cervix is almost completely thinned but there are still no signs of dilation. This means that it will need some more time."

" Oh... Perfect..."

Y/N abandoned her head on the pillow, tired and demoralized.

"How long?", Norman asked with more impatience. That doctor was really starting to get on his nerves.

"It depends a lot on the mother's hormonal levels and also on the child's position. For what I see now, it could take a few hours, or even a week."

"A week? No... I can't wait another week like this!"

It seemed like a nightmare. The pain was coming back and this time Y/N felt tears rising too.  
Norman tried to support her, feeling powerless.

"Try to relax, the more you get upset it will get worse... The contractions will probably drop in intensity in the next few hours, they might even stop. I advise you to go home and lie down, find a comfortable position, maybe enjoy a nice hot bath. It usually helps to relax the muscles.'

"But can't you give her something?"

The doctor looked at him almost disgusted.  
"Of course not... We would risk blocking everything and an induction or worse, a cesarean section would be necessary. Nature must follow its own course... Y/N is young and has no need for us to intervene."

The barely perceptible moans that came out of the woman's lips meant to tell the opposite.

"Now don't worry, go home and we'll meet again tomorrow to do another check. You will see that you will both be more relaxed. You will find the letter of resignation at the reception, do not hesitate to contact us! Have a good day... And Merry Christmas!"

Norman shook his hand, unable to utter a word.  
The man had just left, saying that there was nothing to worry about, while Y/N was still writhing.  
Of course, these were things that happened every day, he remembered that his Ex-Wife had also experienced a similar situation with their son, but seemed to have been treated with excessive sufficiency.  
He now felt that Y/N's grip weakened and he tried to smile at her.

"Hey...", Norman smiled at her, catching a tear from her eyelashes.  
"You heard the doctor, it's normal... Now we'll go home and get you into a nice hot bath."

" But a week..."

"It will not be a week you will see... Trust me! Come on, now I'll help you get dressed and I'll take you home."

"Can we go home now..."

"Yes... But do you think you can?"

"Sure."

He helped her change again and they found themselves in the same hall, now lit up.  
"Here is your letter... We'll wait for you!"

The nurse was talking to Y/N but seemed to be hypnotized by Norman's eyes.

"Thank you..."

They were already about to leave, when they again heard her thin and somewhat hesitant voice.  
"Norman... Norman sorry, could I have an autograph... Please?"

The usual question. He smiled as always and retraced his steps. It was a little strange to sign an autograph at a hospital reception, but why not, he thought.

"Thank you... I wish you a Merry Christmas!", he said and kissed her on the cheek, making her flush and went back to Y/N's side, who laughed like every time.

"Thank you...", Y/N said impersonating his voice, as soon as they crossed the threshold of the clinic.

"What?" I wasn't trying anything!"

"You're just the usual Gentleman!"

Norman closed the woman's door and at the same time he noticed the flashes of a camera; now he had a certain flair for those things, he knew exactly where to find those bastards with their thousands-dollar camera zoom. There he was, hidden behind some parked cars.  
He lowered his hat over his eyes, making a rude gesture at it and hastened to get into the car, backing up.

"Damn paparazzi! How did they find us? It's seven o'clock in the morning and he was already here in front of the hospital... Bastards. I'll will call our bodyguard, I don't want anyone to come closer to you!"

"Try to calm down, nothing happened! I didn't even notice... And then, what was there to see? Just me who has become sloppy and fat. 'The Redneck and his whale', that's how the titles will be!"

Norman let himself smile; he just couldn't stay serious with her, even in a situation like that.  
Y/N sighed, stroking her belly.

"How sad! I was already convinced to get out of here with my baby in my arms, and instead... Did you hear all those children crying in the nursery? Look, now ten minutes have passed and nothing happens! The doctor was right! Who knows how long it will take..."

"Come on, it's just a matter of a few days. You have already waited so long, a few days more won't be that bad.", he answered, looked at her and wanted to kiss her, seeing her pout.

"Now let's go home, I'm exhausted!"

"Do you know what I want?

Y/N's words made him raise an eyebrow. It could be anything, she could even ask him to go ice skating right now, knowing her all too well.

"What is it?", he asked her with little conviction.

"A caramelized apple... But not a red one, I mean one of those covered with peanuts!"

Norman almost had the impression that the woman's eyes had become two enormous apples too, so strong was her desire to eat them. Y/N had no special cravings during her pregnancy, but when it came to caramelized apples, then the conversation changed.

"And where do you find a caramelized apple at this time of the day, and on Christmas? I can't even get the ingredients right now to make them at home..."

"I know... But I really want them so much..."

"Y/N, how could I do that? Where do I find an open pastry shop right now?"

"Maybe a kiosk... At the carnival..."

"And at what time will the carnival be open?"

Y/N resigned herself, returning to look out of the window. Just a few moments before her eyes lit up again.  
"Wait... The kiosk near the park! Come on let's see... I'm sure it's already open! And then it's close to our home! Please Norman, just five minutes. I swear that I won't ask you anything anymore! Never again for today!"

Norman sighed, not moving his eyes from the road. How could he tell her no?  
"Okay... But only five minutes. Indeed, I will look if it is open, woe to you if you try to get out of this car! I'll be right back."

He parked a few meters from the entrance to the park.  
Unfortunately it took only a few steps to realize that yes, that damned kiosk, from which came a nauseating smell of sweets, was open. He retraced his steps, opening the door like a perfect chauffeur.

"It's your lucky day, Y/L/N!"

Y/N got out of the car, clutching her dark jacket.

"Do you feel like walking up there?"

"Of course! Who knows, maybe she won't move!"

Norman hoped that nothing was stirred up but he resigned himself to the woman's will.  
A couple of minutes later Y/N was biting her huge apple covered with peanuts, while Norman watched her with a disgusted expression.

"What? It is very good! Do you want a piece?"

"Oh no! I would never deprive you of it!", he told her raising both hands, as if to protect himself from that apple.

"You don't know what you're missing!"

"No, I guess! Now can we go? ...Hey, but where... Where are you going?"

Y/N was moving away in the opposite direction from their car and was moving quickly towards a bench. Norman realized that she just needed support to deal with a new contraction and he followed her worried.

"It started again?", he asked, rubbing her back as she handed him his apple, finding herself in difficulty.  
"Come on sit down!"

"No. It's better this way..."

Norman followed her movements with apprehension, before being attracted by something unusual just a few meters away. Only a few seconds later and he noticed a man in a jogging outfit, filming them with his mobile phone. He rushed to him, without even thinking.  
"Hey you... What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

The man didn't have time to escape, the actor was already on him and held him by the collar of his outfit.  
Y/N's anguished calls came to him as if they were muffled.

"What were you trying to do, huh? Aren't you ashamed? Aren't you ashamed to spy on the lives of others? Asshole. You and all those of you! That's what you are! You have no respect for anything!"

"Norman... Norman, please stop it!"  
Y/N was behind him now, trying to hold him back. She was sure she had never seen him such in a fury and was as scared as that man, who didn't even dare to breathe too loud.

"I want that mobile phone right away! Give it to me, I told you!"

"Norman, please, forget it... It already happened! That's enough!"

The woman's frightened words brought him back to reality, but here he was, ready to smash the phone of a man, who was like all the other paparazzi but who was probably just running around in the park when he recognized them.  
Norman now loosened his grip and regained some lucidity as he felt Y/N's hand on his back.

"Go away! And know that if I see this video or even hear about it, I will get a lot of lawyers against you, who will make you regret doing this!"

He buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket, moving nervously away along the path, while the frost of winter dawn penetrated his bones.  
He felt that Y/N was a few steps away from him but he could not slow down right now... He had to reason, he had to regain control and needed a cigarette.

"Norman!"  
The companion's excited voice made him stop abruptly.

"Excuse me... I'm sorry Y/N, I don't know what got into me! How are you feeling? Oh god, your apple... I must have thrown it on the ground... Sorry, I'll buy you another one right away, wait for me here..."

"Hey, hey no! Forget it... I don't want any apples! Just calm down now!", she held him back, stroking his cheek slightly."

"Forgive me... I should have stayed with you. I shouldn't have done that, not now..."

"It's all right! Just take me home, okay?"

Norman nodded, letting himself be kissed gently.  
Why couldn't he control certain emotions? Why couldn't he tolerate that part of his life after years? He felt hunted, especially now that he was experiencing such a stressful situation.  
Norman tried to forget the last few minutes and he had sworn to himself that it would never happen again...


	39. Chapter 36

The dog greeted them by wagging his tail but Y/N didn't pay attention to him, instead leaning immediately against the railing of the stairs.

"Come on... It's passing, isn't it? Take a deep breath!"  
Norman stared at her face, he wasn't sure if he had done the right thing to listen to the doctor. He probably should have insisted on staying in the hospital for a few more hours with her but he had made them feel so stupid and apprehensive, that they had decided to finally go home.  
He waited for Y/N to look up again and he knew immediately that she was as worried as he was. He helped her up the stairs slowly; only a few minutes had passed since their walk in the park, but now it seemed that any movement cost her much more effort.

"Lie down, I will prepare the tub... You'll see that it will get better!", he said, trying to sound calm.

Y/N nodded, ready for a new contraction.  
"No... But no tub please... A shower would be better!"

Norman walked quickly to the bathroom. Of course if that situation had really lasted a few days, neither would have made it to wait without being worried.  
He looked at one of the many watches that Y/N had scattered around the house and noticed that four minutes had passed since the previous attack.   
He let the warm water flow and returned to the bedroom, finding Y/N lying on her side, already asleep. He sat down beside her, stroking her arm.

"Honey? Don't you think we should go back to the hospital?"

"You heard what they said...", she answered without opening her eyes.

"Yes but I'm not calm... You're too sick!"

"He said it's normal. It's the phase... What was the name of it?"

She looked at him with one of her funny little faces, to which the man tried to smile even though he couldn't.  
He stroked her back, hoping she was right as his head continued to wander in memories of the past.

"Listen, I know what he said... But he also said he can't know for sure. My Ex-Wife-..."

"Well I'm not her!"

"I know…"

"No, you don't know! How many times have we already talked about it? And yet you keep on talking about her... You have been talking about her for months: Your Ex here, your Ex there... She did the epidural, she did this and that... Well, good for her! But I'm Y/N... Y/N! And obviously I'm not that good! Oh god, not again..."

Y/N grabbed his hand once more.

"Okay, enough about her... But this doesn't seem like a false alarm, that's what I was about to say!"

She also knew that the pain was growing and that she would not be able to wait much longer, before returning to be teased by that doctor, but she could not tolerate feeling compared to his Ex-Wife, not after all this that had happened in the last few weeks. She knew that in those anecdotes, which Norman often reminded her of, there was no malice, but Y/N always felt like she was the latest arrival, the one who had to take an example from the perfection already achieved by another woman. She now tried to hold back the groans, she didn't want to be weak right now when she was so angry with him.

"Y/N, listen to me at least once!"  
Even Norman looked angry now.  
"Let's go back to that fucking hospital, no ifs or buts! I don't care what they say there!"

Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep sigh.  
"Okay, let's go back... But please let me take this shower! Maybe everything will be fine again after it."

The man reluctantly agreed to her request and helped her to get up and undress, while the hot steam was already tarnishing the bathroom windows.

"Is it better now?"  
Y/N nodded, leaning on the taps. Hot water seemed to have a magical effect on the pain.

"I'll call your parents, they'll certainly want to know what's going on... Call me if you need me, I'm out here."

He closed the shower door and dialed his father-in-law's number but didn't have time to pick up the line when he was called back by shouts of the woman.  
When he opened the shower, he found her huddled in a corner gripped by severe pains.  
He entered, not even thinking about the fact that he was fully dressed and closed the taps.

"What happened? Tell me what you feel!"

Y/N couldn't hold back the screams, feeling that the pressure in the lower abdomen was becoming unbearable. She tried to fight the instinct, which forced her to push but her body seemed to decide for her.  
Norman looked at her in terror, without even having the courage to touch her for fear of hurting her even more.

"Y/N please... Tell me something!"

But it was clear that she couldn't talk. Only then did Norman realize what was happening and panic fully invaded him now.

"No, what are you doing? Y/N please don't push, you can't push now!"

The screams became more and more intense, until a scream stronger than the others turned into a desperate cry, as soon as that terrible pressure melted.

"Okay... Okay, it's okay! Nothing happened! The water just broke... Honey, it's all right! It's normal..."

Norman stroked her wet hair, trying to comfort her. It was clear that she was frightened by this sudden and uncontrolled pain. He did not remember that it had been such a painful thing for his Ex-Wife but it certainly was not the case to give voice to that thought. He waited for Y/N to calm down and helped her to get up again. They had to go to the hospital immediately, there was no false alarm anymore. He wrapped her in a bathrobe and they got out of the shower, while his clothes were dripping everywhere. He hugged her, realizing she was shaking, probably more from shock than cold.

"Now I'll help you get dressed and we'll drive to the clinic... I have to change too, wait here..."

Y/N didn't hold him back but leaned against the sink with all her weight; the pains of a few hours before were nothing compared to those pains. She felt like she was going to vomit, while it seemed that someone was trying to crumble her back. Norman quickly returned to the bathroom, wearing the most unlikely clothes of his wardrobe.

"Come on, get up... I'll help you with the clothes!"

Y/N had her head down, hidden by her wet hair and gave no sign of wanting to get away from the ceramic of the sink.

"Y/N, we have to go! The baby will be born!"

He Now saw her shake her head repeatedly.

"What? Don't start with this story again..."

"No... Now...", she barely managed to pronounce those almost incomprehensible words.

"What do you mean?"  
Norman tried to read her face in a grimace of pain.

"No... We have no time anymore-..."

The man almost felt himself faint at those words. It couldn't be true, it took hours to give birth to a child. But Y/N did not seem to be in the mood for jokes, he felt her stiffen again and she perceived a completely new sound coming out of her tight lips, a more guttural, almost animalistic sound. There was no doubt, the child was about to be born and he was absolutely unable to help her. He looked convulsively for the phone, which he had left on the marble in the bathroom and dialed 911 immediately.

"Hello... Yes, my name is Norman Reedus... I need an ambulance right away, my wife is giving birth... We don't have time, the water broke and-... Hello? Hello!"

They had hung up believing that he was the usual idiot, who enjoyed making bad-talking telephone jokes.  
What could he do now? He tried to find the number of the private clinic, they wouldn't have mistaken him for an imposer.

"Oh god, Norman... Please help me, I can't... I can't do it here!"  
Y/N's pleading voice forced him to look at her. He didn't even try to hide his fear but realized that she was terrified.

"I'm calling the clinic, they will send an ambulance... Hold on, love! Breathe! Keep breathing..."

"No... Call Dr. (C/N)! The one we had in Los Angeles!"

Norman was stunned just to hear the name.

"Norman... Please call him..."

"What's that got to do with Doc C/N now? He's in L.A.!"

"No... No he's in New York... Don't you remember? Please call him! We need him..."

Y/N clung to the edge of the sink again, her face flushed and her breath more and more agitated.  
"Norman, call him now!"

That desperate order didn't admit replies and Norman backed off.  
"Okay... Okay, stay calm! I'll call him but you don't push, please concentrate!"

He picked up the phone and hoped that the man was really in New York and that he wouldn't hang up seeing their number.

"Yes?"

"Hey... Hey, it's Norman. Y/N-..."

There was no need to say more.

"I understand! I will join you in the clinic!"

"No... No, we're not in the clinic! We are at home... They sent us away from the clinic this morning but now things have precipitated..."

The doctor recognized the woman's screams in the background and understood the gravity of the situation.  
"All right, give me... Maybe ten or five minutes. Five minutes or it's up to you! You should call an ambulance too!"

"I tried it already... They don't believe me!"

"Okay, I'll call you when I arrive."

He hung up, feeling slightly better and returned to concentrating on Y/N.  
"Don't worry, just a few minutes and he will be here!"

It really only took a couple of minutes before they heard the bell.  
Norman ran downstairs and found himself facing an unrecognizable Doctor, in shorts and a sweatshirt.  
"I'm sorry I was playing basketball and I came here like this... I know, that's not very professional. Where is she?"

Norman accompanied him upstairs and as soon as the man entered the bathroom door, Y/N burst into uncontrolled crying.

"Please help me..."

The Doc was right next to her and helped her up, letting her hold on to the sink.

"Listen to me, everything is fine..."

"I'm afraid!"

The doctor stroked her hair, trying to reassure her.  
"I know... I know you are afraid but everything will be fine. You don't have to cry, you have to gather all the strength you have!"

"But I can't... She can't be born like this!"

"It seems like she want to... But now you have to lie down otherwise I won't be able to help you!"

Y/N resisted, even though she trusted the man blindly.  
"No, my back... It hurts too much!"

"I know, but it's normal... Try to hold on just a few seconds! Can you make it to another room?"

Y/N denied faintly, she wasn't even sure she could still move; Norman helped her lie down on a large sheet he had laid on the ground, while the doctor washed his hands and pulled his gloves out of his bag.  
"Now try to relax, you will only feel a slight pressure!"

Norman couldn't hold back a small grunt of annoyance, when he saw him open Y/N's bathrobe. The man seemed to notice and stopped abruptly.

"I'm working! I'm just working okay!

"Yes ,sorry..."  
It was stupid to be jealous, but the idea that he undressed Y/N made him nervous, even if he was just a doctor who did that a lot. He decided to behave in an objective manner and hold his partner's hand, feeling her stiffen slightly.

The Doctor smiled, checking the child's position.  
"You're already six centimeters dilated, this means you've already done most of the work by yourself. Now we have to wait for the dilation to be complete and you can start pushing."

"But I already pushed!", the woman replied in a tired voice.

"I know... But you're not ready yet. Okay, we'll do it this way... Norman will fill the tub and finish the labor there, you'll see that your back will get better."

Norman immediately started to let the water into it, thinking of how many times he had repeated that he would never consent to such a birth, as advised by those midwives of the course. But now he was there, hoping that the water would descend faster to give a minimum of relief. He almost had the impression of being on a set, in which all the most terrible things followed one another.  
Y/N was trying to hold back the screams, now that the Doctor was helping her with relaxation techniques and Norman prayed that they would work for him too, because he felt he was about to faint.  
Finally they helped her lie down into the tub and the warmth of the water immediately had a beneficial effect on her body. Now Y/N was lying on her side, her head lying on Norman's arm, comforting her from the edge; the water massage accompanied her during the long moments of transition between one contraction and another. Everything seemed much calmer now that she could control the pain and remained focused on her body, without panicking.  
Norman was amazed at the ease with which the woman had regained control of herself, she seemed almost to be back at the beginning of labor, when she had managed to hide it from everyone for so many hours.

"Honey you're doing great!", he encouraged her, placing a kiss on her forehead. He just hoped things would go fast, as announced by the doctor...


	40. Chapter 37

The bell rang, awakening them from that silent and surreal atmosphere. The doctor went down to open and accompanied the other doctors upstairs. The fact that the ambulance had arrived with all the appropriate equipment reassured both Norman and Y/N.

"Hi Y/N, I'm a specialized midwife and no matter how good your doctor is next door, I'll tell you right away we both here will help each other."

Y/N smiled weakly at her, while the old blonde lady expertly controlled the baby's heartbeat and the other paramedics prepared everything they needed for that first visit.

"Oh my! Isn't this the guy from that zombie show?"

It had taken a while but one of them recognized Norman.

"We have seen stranger things than that.", the woman said, addressing her colleague directly with her tight accent and that hasty and somewhat comical way.

"Do you want to tell me that we are giving birth to Daryl Dixon's kid?"

The habit would have forced Norman to smile and respond with the usual way Daryl Dixon would speak but the situation prevented him from having a sense of humor.

"Good Y/N, I'd say we're ready!"

"Can I push now?", she pleaded, raising her head.  
The doctor nodded and the midwife helped her up, giving her instructions but all Y/N could think of was that her body was telling her what to do. She felt the pain grow again and instinctively pointed her feet to the bottom of the tub, arching her back and clinging to the edge with all her strength.

"Come on, good... Just like that... Now I'll count to ten, okay? Then you'll have to catch your breath!"

Norman held her up, feeling that every muscle in her body were straining. He realized she was repeating the numbers along with the midwife, while participating in the movements of her companion as if they were her own. He looked at the doctor's face as Y/N abandoned herself with her head resting on his chest, to gather her strength for a new push. There was still the fact that they were in the bathroom of their own house and there was no certainty that things were going the right way. The contractions continued ever stronger, even if slightly spaced; Norman couldn't have said how long he had remained in the same position to comfort her and echo her complaints. As time passed Y/N seemed to become weaker: She was exhausted and frustrated by the fact that, despite all her efforts, the child seemed unwilling to be born. Norman wiped her forehead for the umpteenth time, offering her a sip of water, which she refused.  
The man scanned the faces of the two doctors, who were monitoring the fetal heartbeat.

"What's going on? She had to be born hours ago!"

"I know... It seems that there has been a slowdown..."

The midwife looked at the doctor apprehensively and decided to intervene.  
"Two hours have passed..."

That seemed like a code of their own, and Norman couldn't just sit there.  
"Give her at least something, please! Don't you see how she suffers?"

The doctor stopped him immediately.  
"No Norman, we're too far ahead now!"  
He again monitored the child's position and looked worriedly at the old midwife, who was busy airing Y/N with a newspaper.

"What's wrong?"

"Bregma..."

"What does that mean? Explain yourself for heaven's sake!"

The doctor sighed, before speaking with a heavy expression.  
"The child's head is not in the correct position... It is less flexed how we say... This causes problems."

Norman became alarmed and looked at Y/N, who instead seemed to be not aware of anything.

"So what should we do?"  
He was afraid to hear the answer.

"Y/N... Y/N, can you hear me?"  
The midwife was shaking her slightly, trying to wake her up. She had to be conscious to decide what to do.

"Y/N, open your eyes!"  
For a moment Norman feared she had lost consciousness, but a slight moan made it clear to everyone that she was listening. Y/N opened her eyes with difficulty, as if she had awakened from a dream that had lasted for centuries.

"Y/N you have to listen to me carefully now, do you understand me?"  
She nodded without speaking and the doctor continued.  
"Your little girl is not in the right position, so you can't make her be born... It's not your fault, it can happen. But now we have to decide what to do. You are very weak and even the heart of the child can feel a slight pain when you push, we must make it be born as soon as possible!"

Certainly it did not leave room for many choices but it had to be clear, given the seriousness of the situation.

"So?", she asked faintly, as if she was resigned to the worst by now. Norman realized she was looking down and could not meet anyone's eyes for fear that they would see her desperation.

"So in these cases the most sensible thing to do is to have the operating room prepared and proceed with a Sectio caesarea, that's a cesarean... But for us, this involves the risk of a trip by ambulance to the hospital..."

Y/N closed her eyes, trying to understand the news.  
"It's all my fault..."

"What are you talking about?", Norman awoke to those words said only with a whisper.

"Yes... I shouldn't have waited so long, I shouldn't have insisted on staying home... I should have listened to you. But I never do..."

"No, honey, stop it! It's not true! It did not happen that way, it was that doctor. We couldn't foresee it!"

"Do I have any other choice?"

Tears immediately turned into groans. Norman held her up again, pulling her hair back from her face and the midwife approached her to check the situation with a critical eye.  
"Yes... There is another choice!", she finally said, catching everyone's attention.

"Yes, but it is a risk to attempt natural childbirth... Y/N is too weak!", the doctor tried to oppose the idea of the woman.

"Not at all! Y/N is young, she will make it. I have seen situations far worse than this! Listen Y/N, now you will give birth to your child because she can't stay in there anymore. But to do it you have to be strong, we can put her in the right position, okay? But we can't do it if you stay in the tub, you have to come out. Do you feel like making that last effort?"

"Prepare sterile drapes and all the tools..."  
The doctor had regained control, but it showed that he disapproved of the risky approach, typical of midwives, who thought they were holding the secret of life in their hands. This notion that everything had to happen according to nature had been the main cause of many birth deaths and the doc cared too much for that patient since L.A. to take a similar risk. But he also knew that an ambulance transport would be an equally dangerous risk, as well as an anesthetic at such an advanced stage of childbirth.  
Norman looked from his companion's face to that of the two doctors. He had no idea what was going to happen and he felt fear growing inside him as he helped Y/N to get up and leave the tub.

"Don't worry, I'll be with you!", the man told her as the midwife surrounded her with a towel.  
Y/N felt that her legs would not hold her for much longer, but being clinging to Norman made her feel somewhat more secure.

"Now listen to me both-...", the midwife continued, addressing the future parents, who looked at her in fear.  
"Y/N, you have to force yourself to stand up, Mr. Reedus will take care of you. All you have to do is follow what your body tells you, lean against it and move your pelvis... That's it... It's like dancing, isn't it? This will help the child position herself correctly."

Y/N followed the woman's instructions, realizing almost immediately, that it was really what she would have done spontaneously. They were hugging each other now and Y/N was hiding her face on Norman's shoulder, who held her close to her, helping her in that sort of dance. She looked up only a moment, to meet his blue eyes now tired after the many hours of fear.

"You never dance...", she murmured with a slight smile.

"I think I'll make an exception this time...", he answered, gently kissing her head.

Y/N could feel how tense and scared he was and for a moment she had the desire to calm him, to tell him that she would make it but the problem was that not even she was so sure of it. Now she felt the pain return even stronger, while the midwife vigorously massaged her back.

"Okay Y/N, we are ready... Now push!"

There was no need to tell her, Y/N followed her instinct and crouched on the ground, followed by Norman, who kept holding her tight while behind her she could feel the reassuring presence of the midwife.

"Push Y/N, come on! You're almost there! You're doing great!"

Y/N shook her head decisively.  
"No, I'm not doing great! I can't do it!"

Nothing was moving, the child was stuck and for sure the doctor's worried look didn't help. They waited for the pain to pass for a time that seemed infinite to her and finally they got back on their feet and started all over again. Y/N felt weak by now, the words of the midwife were of great comfort but the more time passed, the more she wondered if it would have been better to even run to the hospital.

"And again... Push!"

This time things went differently, Y/N clung with all her strength to Norman's shoulders, feeling the pressure increase dramatically. She could hear her own uncontrolled cries and could hardly recognize her own voice. The doctor stood beside her, pushing back a strand of her hair and encouraging her.  
"YOU'RE doing great Y/N! Breathe..."

"Oh, there it is... I see it!"

Norman couldn't believe his eyes, he could see his daughter, who was struggling to come into the world.  
He instinctively stepped back to allow the doctor to help his patient but it was the midwife who stopped him.  
"No. No, stay where you are, your daughter needs you too!"

Y/N's grip grew stronger and the screams deafened his ears.

"Come on, Norman, be with them..."

"No, I can't do that!"  
He was scared to death of being able to do something wrong.

"Of course you can. She is your daughter! Now accompany the head... Just like that...", the doctor encouraged him, continuing to monitor the situation.  
The contraction passed and Y/N gave up exhausted in the midwife's arms.

"Come on honey, you're almost there!"

"No... I can't do it! It hurts too much!"  
Y/N could no longer control her breathing.

"But you're already doing it!", the woman encouraged her. Those were certainly the most difficult phases but they would have been swept away by the immense final joy. Y/N prepared for another push and Norman realized that his shoulders were ablaze, where the woman was digging her nails. But what did it matter now?

"There it is... Y/N, I see it... Oh my god!"  
He felt that the emotion was about to overwhelm him now that he was in front of that little miracle with that tiny nose and the most beautiful face he had ever seen.  
He who thought he had seen it all, realized that no emotion had ever come close to the one he was feeling right now, that he held a new life in his hands and helped her come into the world.

"Make sure she doesn't have the umbilical cord around her neck, that's it!"  
The doctor kept giving him directions, trying to talk through Y/N's screams.

"Just one last push... Just one!"

The last harrowing scream and here it was, finally, a tiny and wrinkled bundle, which lay between Norman's trembling hands.

"Y/N!"  
Norman placed her on the woman's breast, still in shock from the pain she had just experienced. It took only a few seconds for the baby to take her first breath and burst into desperate tears. Everyone present was relieved by the sound, even the dog outside barked.  
Norman still couldn't believe his eyes, did he and Y/N do that? He wiped away the tears, which prevented him from seeing his child, while a powerful pat on the back brought him back to reality.

"You were great! I wouldn't have been able to do better either!"

"Thank you... I don't even know how... Thank you all so much!", Norman answered him confused but with a look full of gratitude.

"I know... I know exactly what it feels like..."  
That man had given him the opportunity to experience an emotion, which he too had experienced personally, even though he was in contact with the miracle of life every day.

Y/N was lying on the towels now and held the baby tight, who by now was quiet again feeling the embrace of her mother while Norman approached them.

"I can't believe it... She's here... You're here...", Y/N stuttered upset and happy at the same time.

"You were very good Y/N, you have no idea... You... I think I just fell in love with you for the second time!"  
Norman couldn't take his eyes off the woman's face. She already looked so beautiful now that she was holding that little jewel.  
Y/N smiled at him, giving him a look full of joy: She loved him too, loved him more than ever.

"Oh look Norman... Isn't she perfect? She doesn't have my ears!"

Norman laughed, touching her tiny ears.  
"She is beautiful, isn't she? She won't give me a moment of peace, not even you.", he smiled.

"I'm sorry but now we'll have to check her and Y/N.", the midwife called them back, handing Norman the sterile scissors.  
"I bet this is your job?"

"Sure!"

Norman cut the umbilical cord and had the impression of freeing his child a second time.  
Now he felt that everything made sense. He had given birth with Y/N to a human being and maybe yes, maybe this was his lucky day...


	41. Chapter 38

Y/N opened her eyes. It was as if she had slept for an eternity and instead only a few minutes had passed. The cold light of the afternoon filtered through the half-closed shutters. She smiled in silence, she didn't want to ruin the absolute perfection of that image: Norman was sitting in the chair right next to the window and he was holding the little bundle tight to his chest.   
His gaze was that of a man hopelessly in love and the words he just whispered, coming out of his lips, had to hide only some of the many secrets he and his daughter would have.

She saw him look up just a moment to meet his eyes.

"Hey look, mom's awake!", he said in that deep voice of his, which for sure their daughter had already recognized for some time.

"How do you feel?"

"I was watching you...", she answered with a smile.

"Oh, you spied on us...", he smiled too and looked back at the little girl. Now that a few hours had passed since the birth, they were enchanted by the many small similarities they thought they could find in her.  
Norman got up, continuing to rock her gently and approached the bed again.

"Take her... I bet she wants her mom back..."

"No no... Keep her!", se answered nervously. Norman drew back, bewildered.

"What's the matter with you? You won't hurt her... Take her!"

Y/N didn't seem convinced, as she tried to sit up without success.

"She's so small!"

She was worried but Norman was handing her that helpless creature and she didn't have the slightest idea of what to do. She realized that all the courses in the world would be of no use, no one had prepared her for that moment and she felt happy, yes, but also scared to death.

"She'll recognize you, you've spent nine months together already!"

Now that the shock had passed, she could finally look at the little girl she had been waiting so anxiously for all that time. She was exactly as she imagined, as she dreamed of her almost every night. 

"What do you say... Won't it be time to feed her?"

"Now?"  
The woman raised a look of apprehension upon him. 

"Well yes... She must be hungry. The nurse said to warn her so she can come and help you."

"No Norman, don't..."  
But Norman had already rang the bell when Y/N tried to stop him.

"What? Why not?"

"I don't know…"

He saw her lower her eyes embarrassed about the child.  
"What don't you know?"

"What if I can't? If I can't breastfeed her... I know I will have to wait a couple of days... But what if I am not able? Or if she don't want it?"

Norman tried not to laugh at those worries without any sense.   
"Y/N, what are you saying?"  
He sat down beside her on the edge of the bed.  
"I know you're upset and confused... It's the first time and you have to admit that it wasn't really easy at all, but you'll be fine. I mean look what you managed to do!"  
He looked down at the little girl, who remained quiet in Y/N's arms.

"She has already woken up!"

Suddenly the nurse came in and immediately went to check the drip, then to concentrate on the patient: "But look at her... I know, all the children are beautiful... Besides, with two parents like you..."

"Well yes... Thanks, I guess..."

Norman and Y/N looked at each other embarrassed, they knew they were a sort of attraction in that hospital. 

"Then let's see... It's your first one, right?"

Y/N nodded, feeling like a child herself. She would have been clumsy and their daughter would have started crying. For a moment she hoped that Norman wasn't in there, so he couldn't see her inadequacy.

"Here... You can hold her in various ways, depending on how comfortable you feel. You'll see that in time you will get used to it. Now keep your head up... Just like that... Look... What did I tell you? This baby is really hungry!"

But Y/N had to resist the urge to withdraw.

"Yes I know, it hurts a little at the beginning... But you'll see that you'll get used to it!"

It was such a strange feeling. Y/N looked up at Norman and saw that his eyes looked visibly shiny.

"No Norman, you can't cry!", she teased him, smiling at that small weakness.

"What can I tell you? I'm feel old now, so I'm moved by everything!", he laughed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  
"And then I was thinking...", he started but hesitated a moment, until the woman questioned him with her eyes.

"Your parents should be here..."  
Norman dropped those words into the silence of the room and Y/N returned him with an understanding expression.  
"Stay there!", he finally said, recovering from that moment of melancholy.

"And where do you want to go?"

The man walked away to retrieve his mobile phone and take a picture of her. 

"What do you say if I make a picture of you all together?", the nurse proposed with a smile. 

That was their first photo together as a family, it would have been the one they would remember for a lifetime. Norman realized almost immediately that this cute gesture included an equally cute gesture and then agreed to take a thousand pictures with the young woman and give her a dozen autographs, which she would distribute to all her friends.   
When they were alone they concentrated on the little girl's first meal, who already showed a decent appetite, just like her mother.

"So is it better now?"

"I would say yes…", Y/N answered more calmly, seeing that she could get by even without the presence of an expert.

"I have to admit I'm a little jealous of all this..."

"About what? Is it that I breastfeed her or that she is nursed by me?"  
Y/N laughed at her own joke, understanding from his expression that she had taken him by surprise.

"Oh well... Now that you make me think about it, I'm probably jealous of both..."

They laughed at those accomplices when the door swung open.

"There is my granddaughter!"

Y/N immediately recognized her mother, who almost choked her to kiss her before concentrating on the baby.

"Oh look at her... Look how beautiful she is! She looks the same as Y/N when she was born! Excuse me Norman, I didn't meant to say that she doesn't look like you at all... But anyway, look how beautiful she is!"

"Hello Mrs. Y/L/N!"  
Norman stood still as the woman walked past him, knocking him over like a tornado. 

"Sure... But maybe if you would move I could see her too!"

It was the predictable intervention of Y/N's father, who shook hands with Norman before kissing Y/N on the forehead and looking at his granddaughter.

"Y/N darling, you have to hold her up..."

"Mom, please!"

She immediately silenced her mother, foreseeing that she would start giving her lessons on anything; she gave Norman a knowing look and returned to concentrating on her baby's fine hair.  
The mother sat up, realizing that she should not be intrusive at that moment.

"Okay, so how do you feel? We were so worried this night... We knew you were acting weird! But why didn't you call us right away?"

"We tried but then things went so fast..."  
Norman dropped the sentence, seeing the wide eyes of Y/N looking at him. She didn't want to tell her parents that she had given birth on the floor of their bathroom, she knew that they would be scandalized and feel embarrassed. 

"However the important thing is that everything went well...", she concluded, trying to cut short on that subject and her father came to her aid without even realizing it.

"Yes, look at how she eats! This is really a Y/L/N!"

Suddenly someone knocked on the door and a nurse appeared with a bouquet of pink and white flowers from Jeffrey and Hillary who were already informed about the birth.  
At that very moment another familiar face appeared and this time it was Y/N who lit up.

"Orlando! Come... Come in! You remember my parents?"

The man entered a little awkward, probably feeling a little overwhelmed.

"What a pleasure to meet you again!"  
Her mother was impressed, you could tell by how she had jumped up to approach him.

"I hope you haven't heard of me again in a bad way!", he answered laughing, shaking her hand.

"Oh no, on the contrary... Y/N has always been so grateful for what you did for her."

Orlando scratched his head nervously.  
"Oh well... You know me. Then this time I did nothing ... I heard from the doctors that Norman did almost everything."

"Norman?"

Y/N's parents turned in unison to the almost son-in-law, who immediately realized he had all eyes on him.

"What's Norman got to do with what exactly? What are you talking about?"  
Y/N narrowed her eyes, hoping to get any information but Orlando was too fast.

"Yes, didn't the doctors told you? Or Y/N? Both were very good, despite the difficult situation... Now that it's over, I really have to tell you darling: I had never happened to hear about such a birth and I must admit that it was really exciting for me too even if I wasn't there, I'm proud of you!"

Only then did he realize that he had said something wrong, while the two parents were already bombarding their daughter with questions. Y/N asked Norman for help with a look, sensing what was happening.

"Okay, now all of you calm down! You will make the baby cry!"

He must still have some ascendancy over the people, because everyone was silent as soon as they heard his low and determined voice.  
Y/N raised the baby to make her burp, giving a resolute look to her mother.

"Mom, calm down. It was not planned to happen this way... We went to the hospital that night but they told us that it was still too early and that we would have to come back tomorrow for another visit. Instead, as soon as we returned home, this rebel decided it was time to be born."

"What does that mean? At home? Did you give birth at home?"

A verbal attack would come. But even worse was her father's impenetrable expression, who remained silent in the corner.

"Yes... At home. It was too late believe me, I wasn't able to go back to the hospital again... Luckily the help arrived with the ambulance and everything went smoothly!"

"Oh my poor little girl! Who knows how much fear you've had... But why didn't you call us right away? And Norman... Does it mean that you gave birth to her too?"

Norman looked from the woman to Mr. Y/L/N, knowing that he wouldn't appreciate what he was about to say. After all she was still her child and he was always that stranger, who just had made her pregnant, without even having a relationship with her back then.

"Yes I... In short, the midwife and our private doctor has let me be the one to let her be born..."

It was exciting just to repeat it aloud; he wondered how many times he would repeat the same story to everyone, until his daughter asked him to shut up in shame.

"Oh."  
It was the father-in-law's only comment and certainly not the most encouraging one.

"Yes Dad... It was wonderful. If Norman hadn't been there I don't know how I would have done it... He didn't leave me alone, he was there all the time and wanted to help as much as he could!", she smiled at him, declaring the love with those words but that magic was broken by the burp of the little girl, who rightly claimed to be the real protagonist in that room.

By now the tension had faded and the now new grandmother wanted to hold her granddaughter in her arms.

"Can it be?"

Norman immediately recognized the boy's blond hair, which had appeared in the room.

"Mingus!"

He went to meet him, embracing him, who did not even bother to say hello to run to see the child.  
Y/N hurried to cover her breast and introduced the baby to it's brother.

"Oh she is beautiful! Look... Look at these little hands! Can I hold her?"

Norman was probably the one most surprised by his son's request.   
He was enchanted to see Y/N putting the baby in her brother's arms.

"Hey, hi! Welcome...", the boy murmured, radiant with happiness. 

Y/N was happy too, her eyes were shining now that they met Mingus'. She would never have imagined that this moment would have been so absolutely perfect. 


	42. Chapter 39

"Y/N? Y/N honey... The child!"

It was just three o'clock in the morning and the baby claimed her breastfeed. Y/N hadn't slept for days now, although the little girl was an angel and Norman helped her in everything, it seemed that her anxiety prevented her from closing her eyes even for a few hours. She was exhausted, irritable, and her head continued to hurt terribly. What was supposed to be the most beautiful experience of her life, was turning into a nightmare and the worst thing was that she was terribly ashamed to express these feelings, especially to Norman.  
She got up slightly and took the little screaming bundle from the man's arms, placing it then in the bed next to her breast, so as to allow her to eat without having to hold her. It was three weeks since she had come home, three weeks punctuated by diapers, feedings and baths. Y/N had the impression that her whole life had always been like this, while she looked at herself in the mirror without even recognizing herself.  
Norman assured her that the fatigue after birth was normal and that things would soon be better, but Y/N was more and more convinced that nothing would be better, now that her companion's departure date was approaching.  
The presence of her mother, instead of encouraging her, made her feel even more inadequate, as if she were unable to look after her daughter without relying on the help and experience of others. As if that was not enough, she was terrified of being left alone at home with the child and it was even more so by the fact that she could feel sick, that she could stop breathing or that any movement of hers could damage her in any way.  
She tried to sketch quick smiles in front of the others, tried to force herself while fatigue became more and more unbearable and prevented her from even enjoying the funny expressions of her baby, which grew visibly.

"Do you want me to get you something?", Norman whispered, stroking her hair.

"No... No thanks, go back to bed now!"

"Not even a hot tea? You didn't drink anything at dinner... You know you have to eat and drink for-..."

"You know I don't like tea!"

Her quick reply caught both of them by surprise and made the child complain, still getting the milk.  
Y/N immediately realized that she had exaggerated, she didn't want to take it out on him.

"I'm sorry! Sorry Norman, really... You didn't even have to get up at this time... Sorry, it's just that I'm so tired..."

Norman now made an incredible effort to soften his expression in a smile.  
"Be quiet... I know..."

The reality was that he didn't know. He had no idea what was happening. He knew how upsetting motherhood could be for a woman, but what seemed to be tiredness that was justified after her pregnancy and difficult birth, had now turned into something more serious. He had heard of post-natal depression and had repeatedly questioned, observing Y/N's behavior, her sudden mood swings and those sudden tears, which she tried to hide by locking away herself in the bathroom.  
The doctor had assured him that those symptoms would come back within a few weeks and that all he could do was try to stay close to her as much as possible, lightening the burden of motherhood.  
Yet things weren't improving, Y/N didn't seem to be happy, just as she didn't seem interested in herself, or him or the food; within two weeks she had lost weight worryingly and despite the insistence of doctors and family members, it seemed increasingly difficult for her to eat. A sort of refusal perhaps, towards that change so great in her life but also something deeper, that Norman could not yet understand.

"You wanna know what I was thinking?", he whispered, lying down beside her. Y/N did not reply, as always.  
"We could go on a trip to Europe or where you would like to go. We could stay a little near the coast or maybe stop for a few weeks where you want, so as to calmly prepare the wedding and relax a little. What do you say?", he asked and kissed her neck, as he was used to doing since the first time they got close, but he didn't feel the usual thrill from the other side.

"Doesn't... Don't you think it's a bit early?"

"No, it's only a month away..."

"But our baby is still too young to travel... And then how will we do it? I don't know if..."

Y/N stiffened slightly and Norman had the feeling that she was a thousand miles away from him with her thoughts.

"I don't know if I'll be able to organize everything... I think we'll have to postpone..."

The man sat back, looking for her gaze.  
"To what? What are you talking about? You won't have to do anything, my assistants will think of everything and take care of it... You won't even have to choose the dress if you don't care. And then I could always ask Jeffrey and the others like Danai to join us to help us with the baby. You know how fantastic they are..."

"I don't need them!"

Norman bit his lip, that was one of the most delicate arguments: Whatever he talked about had become off limits. Y/N couldn't bear the fact of being confronted with them and couldn't even resign herself to the fact that she couldn't do everything by herself, given her precarious conditions.

"Why do you insist? You have to do something Y/N... You have to rest! And no, forget it! We will not postpone the wedding! We sent the invitations months ago!"

"As you wish."

Norman stood up nervously, not even responding, grabbing the shirt leaning against the chair and quickly slipping it on.

"Sure! How I want... Always how I want! It has become the only thing you can tell me... How do you want it Norman? The truth is that you don't give a fuck about marriage... You don't give a shit about anything anymore! Not even Orlando would act like that!"

Norman looked at her feeling utterly sad. He then left the room, wounded, bitter, frustrated and again without even getting a reaction from her...

~

  
"Come on Norman, don't worry! Some confusion is normal in the first few weeks!", Jeffrey told him when they met after Norman called him.

"Well then you should listen to us! It's like we're beating ourselves up!", he answered while smoking a cigarette, still sitting on his motorcycle.

Jeffrey had just arrived a few minutes earlier with his motorcycle too. He realized that something was wrong with his friend's phone calls and still he was looking forward to getting to know the newcomer, what he jokingly called his 'acquired niece'.  
He watched his friend's thoughtful face and felt helpless, yet he was more a brother, how he liked to call it.  
Now it was time to return that friendship, he felt that he needed it more than ever and that he couldn't stay on the other side of it without doing anything.  
Norman sighed, rubbing his eyes.  
He was exhausted, not even long months of filming in a post apocalyptic world like in The Walking Dead had ever reduced him like this. The problem wasn't less sleep but fatigue in trying to keep a difficult situation standing and nervousness in feeling useless.  
Y/N wasn't feeling well and continued to refuse not only his help but also that of others.  
Jeffrey and Hillary had tried to stay close to her but not even their good humor was good enough. Or rather, it had only served to force her to play the part of the proud and satisfied mother, causing her to burst into tears as soon as their friends went out of the door.

"Do you think she needs help? By a specialist I mean..."  
Jeffrey was the one who came to the point.

"I don't know... I really have no idea. She even refuses to see her best friend, you know who I mean, let alone a specialist!"

"Well... But maybe for the child's sake she will..."

Of course, the child's good. Norman didn't even know what the child's good was. He only knew that Y/N was becoming a shadow of herself. By now he was so worried about her, that he had started following her even when she went to the bathroom, for fear that she would reject the little food he could get her to eat.  
The help of their private doctor had proved invaluable, but even he couldn't always be at her side or at home with her and couldn't realize that. Instead of improving the situation it was drastically worsening.

"What am I supposed to do? Should I tell her she's not a good mother if she doesn't stop all that? This will make her feel even worse. I have documented, I have even tried to call Orlando and you know how I feel about him. I tried to contact people who understand this kind of thing but she refuses, says that she has nothing, that she has no intention of being stuffed with medicines, or of ceasing to breastfeed our daughter. You know I would die for her but I feel like... I feel like everything that happened isn't how it was supposed to be. We are not supposed to be, that's how I feel, and I think she feels like that too, I feel like she hates me."

"Hey, what the fuck do I have to hear? Won't you tell me you're giving up too?"

Norman now took a sip of coffee, staring at his cigarette.  
"I try... I'm doing my best but sometimes I'm afraid, Jeffrey. I'm so worried about Y/N that I'm neglecting my children and my other friends. I'm stuck here to stay next to a woman, who doesn't even want me."

Jeffrey sighed, realizing how difficult it was for his friend to handle such a complicated situation.  
"And what does her parents say?"

"Nothing, she let them return to their home and she does everything to show herself normal to them... She would see it as a betrayal on my part, if I turned to her mother and told her what is happening. But I'll do it when I will inform them that the marriage is postponed..."  
He made an effort even to utter the last word.

"Postponed? But how... Right now that I had got myself a tailored suit?"

Norman forced himself to smile, but failed.

"Maybe it's the only solution... Y/N wouldn't be able to deal with it. You should see her, a moment before she seems perfectly lucid and happy, then suddenly she becomes unfriendly, and only responds like Negan would... Or she doesn't respond at all."

Jeffrey smiled hearing the name from his character Negan from The Walking Dead, also undrrstanding how bad the situation must be.  
"Well listen... Why don't you convince her to a vacation? The sun always helps in these cases..."

"You talk as if everything would be so simple... Y/N would never accept that."

"But you can propose it... What does it cost you? It will do you good... You could ask her before coming to Los Angeles and then over time you will move. You know that life there is not monotonous. Then we could all be there maybe? Your boy would be there too."

Norman had to admit that Jeffrey was not entirely wrong. The perennial Beverly Hills summer put him in a good mood. Y/N's physicist would have recovered, maybe he would have even started to take an interest in work or charity again, and certainly the baby's presence would have been good for it's mother's health.

It was a card to try... He only hoped that his partner didn't take it too badly.


	43. Chapter 40

"I can not believe it! They are everywhere... Everywhere!"

Y/N quickly entered the cafeteria, followed by Orlando.  
It has been now a couple of months since they had moved to Los Angeles and she felt increasingly hounded by the prying eyes of the people and the targets of the paparazzi.

"Y/N, don't worry, it's normal! We're in Beverly Hills, photographers are everywhere here! All you have to do is to ignore then and let them do their job, without becoming intrusive!"  
Orlando knew well how she felt, but now it was useless to try to avoid them.  
"The more you insist on hiding, the more they will torment you. In a couple of months they will get tired and you will never hear the news again, you'll see!"

Y/N sighed with little conviction. They didn't seem to be tired yet, in fact they were more ardent than ever, even now that Norman was away for filming and she didn't do anything more interesting than showing up in jeans and dark glasses, to have coffee with her best friend. Every week it seemed that it was necessary to report how many times she left home or how many times she washed her hair. She had always refused the presence of a bodyguard and thought she was perfectly capable of managing her reputation, but there in Hollywood, instead of being more accustomed to VIP releases, they seemed only more eager to make everything public to the rest of the world. Even the fans had something morbid about it: In New York nobody would have ever dreamed of stopping her while she was in the queue at the supermarket, to have them talk on the phone with her brother to ask her if she had made up her breast.  
Often she didn't even notice that she had been followed by some objective, until she met someone or her agent phoned her, asking her if everything was all right, since from the photos she looked a little pale, a little thin, a little tired or maybe just nervous.  
Norman was away and could only come home every two weeks. Needless to say, they both waited for that moment; Y/N felt so alone in that huge house in the Hollywood hills, while Norman felt more and more guilty every time he saw his partner's eyes.

"Will Norman be back on saturday?", Orlando asked.

"Yes... Next monday will be his birthday! I thought of organizing something with his son but I imagine it would be better to let them all celebrate together with his old family... Without me..."

She didn't look up at her best friend, but he sensed the veil of sadness in her eyes.

"But what does that mean? You could celebrate it anyway with them... They love you, just look at Mingus, he adores you!"

Y/N picked up her daughter, sitting in the coffee chair.  
"You forget that this was their home before it was mine... Actually I don't think I'll ever feel at home in that building at all."

"Don't say that... Just because Norman is away for now, you'll see that as soon as he comes back everything will be fine again. It's simple."

"Simple?"  
The big Y/E/C eyes darkened.  
"The more time goes by, the more it seems to me that there is nothing simple! Norman won't stay at home, it is his great moment! He has already signed for three more films and another season of The Walking Dead... I don't feel like asking him okay?"

"Yes, but won't the movies will be filmed here? You know better than me how hard it is to keep up with that, not having any break between filming. Months of hiding and then you find them always clinging to you, because without work they get bored to death! And then you need to be a little together too... I could keep care of your daughter, what do you say? So maybe you both can be alone..."

"What are you even saying?"  
Y/N's face blushed suddenly. She was not used to talking about her intimate life with anyone, not even Orlando.

"I don't say anything strange... It is perfectly normal to lose a little desire after the birth of a child. It happens to all couples, you know... The collapse of hormones..."

That 'collapse' was certainly not related to the mere distance of the companion.

"Maybe you're right! But I really don't think Norman-... I mean look at me! I'm certainly not the most desirable woman on the planet!"

Orlando looked at her critically: Her hollow face, her faded hair and that shapeless black coat that fell over her like a garbage bag, yet he knew how he still felt about her.

"I have to admit that you could be from the Addams Family... But who cares? You're one of the most beautiful and sexiest women in the world."

"Sure... Of course! How not?", Y/N sarcastically answered as she pulled the bottle full of milk out of her bag.

"All you need is a couple of tricks: A nice neckline, a bit of makeup. Come on, don't tell me you don't remember how to make a man fall for you? It's pretty easy for you."

" No... Don't talk about it!"

"Yes honey but you shouldn't be stressed like this... You've become so skinny, almost too skinny! You should also start using powdered milk, I assure you that it will do you good!"

"Yes, yes I know... My mother told me that too."

Orlando looked at her sympathetically, he knew very well how important that contact was for a mother and probably Y/N was one of those women, who would have felt guilty about giving up feeding her own little creature.

"What I try to tell you is just to take it easier... There is nothing more natural than what you are experiencing. You don't need to be afraid of your insecurities..."

Y/N frowned at him. She had already heard that speech; she had already heard it at least a million times from Norman's mouth, from her parents', even Hillary and Jeffrey had tried to come up with that 'take it easy' path.

"Take it easy? And what does it mean to take it easy? How should I do according to you, far from my home, alone with a daughter of not even six months, who does nothing but cry and with all eyes on her? And I don't mean the paparazzi but you... You who is always here to judge me, to see if I eat half a burger more or less and stuff like that!"

"Hey... That was not my intention... You don't really understand it Y/N! I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and that these are normal things you feel. You should allow me to help you... I love you, you know that!"

"And that's one of the problems. Because I know what kind of love it really is. And you want me to feel sorry for you? Look at me damn it, you shouldn't even be able to love someone like me at all!"

"Oh hell, why do you have to be like that? What's happening to you? You put yourself on the defensive as if I had just told you that I'm going to kill you! I never wanted that you feel sorry for me! I just wanted to let you know about how I felt about you back then... And I still want to be your friend!"

Y/N did not return the look that Orlando hoped for, but instead focused on the level of milk left in the small bottle.

"I only wish you wouldn't treat me like someone who needs help all the time! I know that I've changed too... But I'm so tired of having to justify myself to everyone!"

Orlando understood that it was completely useless to continue insisting; he would return home and declare his defeat in front of himself.  
They remained for half an hour in the crowded Café, talking about this and that.

"Excuse me, Sir, can I take it away? Or do you want anything else?"  
The waitress approached with her naive voice and her glasses lowered over her nose.

"No thanks, could you please bring us the bill?"

Orlando's voice fell on deaf ears as Y/N felt a strange feeling of anguish growing. She looked around worriedly, putting the baby back in the pram.

"What is wrong?", he asked by that sudden change of her attitude.

"Nothing... I don't know..."  
Even her voice had become a whisper, almost as if she didn't want to be heard by anyone. She scrutinized the faces of everyone present, as if a spy was hiding among them or maybe an alien ready to kidnap her.

"Y/N what is it? You're acting weird!"

"Let's go. Orlando really, let's get out of this place, please.", she said, standing up and picking up her purse in an unnatural hurry.  
Orlando hurried to follow her, leaving the money on the table with a considerable tip, which the waitress would surely have appreciated.  
Y/N was already out of her sight when he went out to the street and saw her right there beside the door, standing against the wall of the Café.

"What's the matter with you? Why did you run away like this? Have you seen anyone?"

Y/N was bent over, her hands clinging to the pram and breathing fast, as if she had just run. Orlando crouched beside her, holding her hand firmly.  
"Y/N?"

"I can't... I can't breathe! I can't..."  
She put her hand to her chest and Orlando realized that her eyes were full of tears.

"It's nothing, calm down now! It's just a panic attack... Maybe it's the heat and the stress... But now just try to breathe deeply in and Out and you'll see that everything will get better!"

Y/N raised a look full of fear towards him. She felt like she was dying, she was convinced that it would happen right there, on that sidewalk in downtown Beverly Hills.

"Breathe in and out..."

It took a few seconds before Y/N regained control and managed to calm down while Orlando immediately tried to reassure her.  
"Look... Now it's better! Here, drink a bit water..."

" I never suffered from panic attacks... And what if it was a heart attack?"  
Y/N was terrified, you could tell from the sweat, which was visibly on her face.

"No... Come on, don't worry! Let's walk a little now!", he said and helped her up. They walked side by side, under the sun of the coast.

"I can no longer continue like this! I can't take it anymore...", she finally said. Orlando remained silent and waited for her to continue with the outburst.  
"I'm so exhausted! My brain gives me no respite, sometimes I can't even get up, all I can do is stay in bed in the dark, so as not to go crazy."

"Then you should consult someone... A doctor, a psychologist... There are effective therapies."

Y/N was on the verge of tears and didn't have the courage to continue. She paused a moment, lowering her head to the pram covered with a thin white veil.  
"It's just that I don't feel like it... I can't think of relying on that. But what kind of mother am I? She still needs me and I'm so unstable that I can't even take care of her. But then sometimes..."

She stopped without having the courage to go on.

"Sometimes?", Orlando encouraged her, looking for her elusive gaze.

"I don't know Orlando... Sometimes I have bad thoughts..."

She wiped her eyes, before the tears escaped from them again.  
"I think of her... I think something can happen to her while she's with me. I think I could hurt her, I could-... Oh my, I can't even think about it! I would never do anything to her, believe me... Nothing! But I'm afraid! What if something could happen and I can't protect her? I would die inside, do you understand?"

Orlando now held her tightly against him.  
It was worse than he imagined, those paranoia went beyond the simple fear of motherhood. If only Norman had been present, maybe it would have been easier.

"Don't worry! Nothing bad will happen to her if you protect her! But you have to let yourself be helped, you have to talk to someone about these things, you can't keep everything of that stress inside! And if you want we will go together okay? I will help you find someone and you will see that everything will get better! Being a mother is not bad, you just have to go through this moment.", he said so as to calm her down agaim, but Y/N didn't even know what to answer.  


  
"Great! Just like that... Come on baby, turn around!"  
He turned the lens and focused before taking another burst of photos.  
He was one of the most successful paparazzi in the entire city and certainly one of those who had less scruples. His job was being a 'mercenary' of information, as he called himself. He didn't need contracts, he chose the scoop and sold them to the highest bidder.  
And now the turn of the almost Mrs. Reedus, a rich actress from New York City, disdainful of the golden life of Los Angeles and far more accustomed to life withdrawn away from the tabloids.  
Just what he wanted: Another woman, who had put her hands on Norman Reedus and had given him some more visibility. As if he needed it...  
By now the paparazzi of the ex-partner had become monotonous, poorly paid because they were not well followed. No one was interested in the umpteenth motorcycle ride, nor the usual spoilers from The Walking Dead...  
What really tickled the curiosity of the public was precisely that unlikely new couple, born almost hidden and brought into the spotlight, when the games were played and rigged from the start.  
Everyone wanted to know how it happened, they wanted to see the face hidden in the pram behind a veil and above all, they wanted to spy on the couple, Norman and Y/N, Y/N and Norman... It was a bit like having a new 'ship' available, but with the difference that these two protagonists were much more jealous of their privacy and certainly wouldn't have let any big paparazzi slip into their lives.  
But now Y/N was crying there in front of him and it was obvious how desperate she was.  
Wasted, without a bit of makeup and hidden in the arms of one of the other famous actors in the world, who had his head laying next to her neck with his eyes closed, Orlando Bloom.  
Anything could come out of those images.  
Maybe Y/N and Norman were at loggerheads. Maybe the photos that came out a few months before of him and Norman's Ex weren't so innocent... Or who knows, maybe it was something even more serious, something serious between Y/N and Orlando only.  
Time and experience had taught him that the perfect and gleaming world of Hollywood, the city of angels, was not as golden as it looked from the outside: It hid intrigues, sacrifices, even tragedies.  
What the paparazzi was certain of, however, was that ranks of journalists were eager to get their hands on those brand new images.

"I'm going to be a millionaire...", he muttered to himself and took the last pictures before the two left.  
That material literally burned in his hands and he announced the arrival of new pictures. He had only to commit himself and continue to monitor the situation... But above all he had to evaluate his next moves well.  
Perhaps his great opportunity had arrived, the opportunity that would have made him extremely rich and famous and he could bet on it that there was one person who more than all the others, would have helped with the way to success for him.


	44. Chapter 41

He went back to scrolling through the photos one by one, trying to mask his distress. He crossed his long legs and pointed his clear eyes at the woman sitting on the other side of the desk.

"Well? What does this mean?"

He had always made him sick; that slightly pockmarked, expressionless face and those ever-rumpled clothes. Yet behind his innocent appearance hid one of the most ruthless and avaricious men of american journalism.

"You see it yourself!", the man said, taking a sip from his can of soda.

"They are photos of Y/N Y/L/N... A whole photographic set apparently. Y/N Y/L/N at the park, Y/N Y/L/N at the supermarket... Y/N Y/L/N with a friend... What should I do? You forget I'm not her agent or manager!", the photographer replied with a smile full of overtones.

"Come on, look! We both know you're interested! But if you prefer, I can always show them to the manager of-..."

He got up trying to tear the photos from the man's hands, but he firmly stopped him.

"I see we begin to reason!", he said, sitting back down satisfied.

"What do you know?"

"Oh nothing of that...", he answered and shrugged with his most candid expression.

"It seems that the future Mrs. Reedus is not doing very well lately. I have investigated here and there and they say that she rarely goes out and that she seems more and more wasted. Indeed, those photos prove it. She is obsessed with the child's privacy and I don't think she cares very much about herself..."  
He accompanied the last words with an eloquent gesture of the hand, which indicated that the woman must have some misplaced wheel.

"Some say she is freaking out... I bet her beloved partner doesn't suspect anything!"

He settled back in his chair, struggling to tidy up his ideas. He could not give him the satisfaction of seeing him happy for the misfortunes of others. But the fact that the man had gone straight to him, said a lot about how well he knew him by now.  
They had worked together for years, collaborating and fighting each other. There had been perfectly designed frames and truths buried, forever buried...  
They didn't value each other but they both knew that it was better to stay on good terms, rather than become enemies in that world of information sharks.

"Do you want me to tell you to share the photos for something in return?", he asked dryly.

"You won't!", was the photographer's dry response, who continued to look at him amused, rhythmically moving one leg.

"So?"

Business time had come.

"If I'm here it's because I think these photos might interest you and your golden career more!"

"Don't call it that!", he warned him, annoyed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I always forget how much you love your work! So we come to the point that Norman comes finally Home in peace after more than just a turbulent year... First the separation, his Ex... Again his Ex... This story of Y/N has destabilized everyone. Especially you..."

"Me? And do you really think a little loss of money is enough to destabilize me?", he laughed in his face.

"No, maybe not... But I know very well what happens to those who try what you are about to. Especially in private lifes!"

He suddenly felt uncomfortable in his black leather chair. What did the photographer still know? He seemed to notice and continued with more confidence.

"What I propose to you is to work together, not to hide an uncomfortable truth but to bring it out into the open... Y/N is doing it all by herself, that poor naive woman! She has no idea how things turn out here in Beverly Hills... And Norman will understand that he made an unforgivable mistake in trusting that woman, probably leaving her to return to the cold and rainy New York!"

"Norman will never stay away from her or from his daughter!"

"And who said we need to separate them?"

The man's expression finally opened a gash in his mind.  
That's where he wanted to go from the beginning: To make Y/N appear like an unstable woman, victim of her own weaknesses and unable to take care of her daughter. Playing with the same weapons that the actress had used to hook up with Norman, the only man she probably had ever loved.  
It was a difficult plan to implement without triggering the wrath of Norman himself, but it certainly wasn't impossible, given his privileged position in the actor's public sphere.  
Who knows, maybe one day he would even thank him for making him open his eyes?  
They looked at each other in agreement. The photographer smiled smugly and relaxed further.

"Well... Now let's talk about the compensation!"  
  
  


  
  
  
Norman stood there for a few moments just looking at her. Y/N was facing the porch, it was dark by now and only a few lights illuminated the immense estate. Her gaze was lost in the void, while she carried her cigarette to her lips and eagerly sucked in the smoke. Her Y/H/C hair fell on her bare shoulders and the sun had made her skin slightly amber, making that myriad freckles, which he loved so much, even more visible. He approached her without making a sound and wrapped her in his embrace.

"I missed you."

His voice was so deep as he said those words, that even he was puzzled.

"Same here..."

He was exhausted, the journey had been very heavy as usual and he had already seen his son, so he could spend that evening only with his partner and their little daughter.

"I'm glad you're feeling better... The idea that you were here alone made me feel like shit..."

"But I wasn't alone...", she replied, abandoning her head back on his shoulder.

"I know... But you know what I mean! I wasn't calm at all, I saw you were feeling sick and I couldn't do anything but call you or see you for a few minutes!"

Y/N smiled, letting the last cloud of smoke wrap around them, before turning off her cigarette.

"But why did you start again?"

"You know I've always smoked, at least before I was pregnant!"

"Yes, but you've been quitting for over a year..."

"Oh really? No breastfeeding anymore, no need to worry! I'm old enough!"

Norman noticed the change in her voice and decided to take a step back; he had no intention of arguing with her right now, when everything seemed perfect.  
The woman who had welcomed him at home did not even look the same as the one he had left a few weeks ago: Her little black dress, which would have made any man lose his breath... All topped off with an excellent dinner and red wine at will, with everything else that Norman loved.  
He didn't know what had brought her to this drastic change, he only knew that in the last two weeks Y/N seemed to have begun to take care of herself, of the house and probably this had positively influenced her relationship with the child.  
The companion had only anticipated that they would discuss it at home but that evening they had not yet had the time, since even the dinner had to wait.  
It was from the birth of the child that the relationship between him and his partner had suffered a sort of block; Norman knew that a break in their passion in the first months was completely normal, but her depression and his distance had certainly not made things any easier.  
Fortunately now it seemed that Y/N had returned to the usual woman like he knew her, a little thinner and slightly more susceptible maybe, but she still knew how to make him light up with desire.

"So? Tell me how are you feeling... And tell me the truth though..."

Y/N opened her eyes and turned adound, to find herself face to face with him. She could only guess his profile, as the man turned his back to the light from the house.  
She knew he had to tell him what she went through while he wasn't there; he probably would have been angry because she had kept almost everything from him. She was convinced that she had taken the right path, yet she was afraid of the man's reaction.

"I'm feeling better... Really! I know, I haven't been the simplest person in the world in the last five months..."

"Have you ever been one?", he teased her gently, kissing her neck.

"Yes, you're right... I didn't realize that I was losing control just because I was so busy trying to live my life as I knew it at all costs! Believe me, I don't know what happened to me. I always had this sense of anguish and those headaches, which didn't even let me think correctly... I was a hyena I know, with you... With all the others... I'm so ashamed!"

She looked down and it was Norman who forced her to look up again.

"What? You don't have to be ashamed of anything with me, do you understand? It's normal... It can happen to any woman or man, you just have to make up your mind to talk about it, without feeling wrong about it."

"That's it... That's exactly what I have to talk about..."

Y/N realized that she was hesitating. It seemed that all the progress she made in the last few days had vanished into thin air now that he was there in front of her.

"I... I began to feel observed, to feel pursued. I was afraid of everything, I had these terrible images of me, of our daughter... In short everything was falling apart in my mind. I even had a panic attack in a coffee shop the other day."

Norman looked worried now.  
"A panic attack?"

"Yes... It was terrible but it helped me to understand that I couldn't do it alone. So I went to a psychotherapist. It's helping me to get out of it. I don't know how long it will take... I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing yet..."

Norman smiled, trying to cheer her up.  
"Of course... Of course it's the right thing! I wanted to try to tell you so many times, if only you hadn't been so absent! I am proud of you, you can't imagine... I am proud that you got there with your own strength!", he said and squeezed her, kissing her head.

"Yes, but I've just started... I don't know how long it will take to get everything back to normal but I'm not going to let it go... I want to feel better and I really mean it!"

"And I already see you're doing better... Much better!"

Norman suddenly kissed her on the lips, only to go down to her neck and give her a thrill of pleasure.

"For now it's only thanks to the medicines... I will have to-..."

Norman suddenly stopped, looking back at her.  
"What medicines?"

"The ones I got prescribed..."

The expression of the man was certainly not convinced.  
"Did they prescribe you psychiatric drugs?"

"Well yes... They are antidepressants and then also a therapy for the headaches. I didn't even remember how beautiful the world was without that constant pounding in my head!"

Norman tried not to be too annoyed, after all she was still under medical supervision. He looked at her again and perhaps he seemed to see again the sad and destroyed woman, who could not get out of bed, except to breastfeed her baby.

"Okay... If it makes you feel better. But I'd like to meet this doctor... You know I don't trust everyone so easy!"

"Sure... We'll do it when you come back permanently from the set, okay?"

She held him close, placing a kiss on his shoulder.  
Norman smiled at that contact and felt himself shudder again. He had missed her so much, that body, those hands...

"Do you like it?", she asked her in a faint voice, as she raised her big Y/E/C eyes at him. He just nodded, smiling, before returning to focus again, lingering over her with his lips.

"But... You still haven't told me why right here...", he whispered between the kisses. He still tried to keep his control, while his hands went down the woman's back with knowing gestures before he continued: "Maybe you don't remember that you almost tore my shoulder apart, while You were giving birth..."

Y/N broke away, peering at him with a mixture of disbelief and admiration at the same time.

"Are you for real?"

"Oh, you can bet... I'll never forget the signs you left me that morning."

"It was right that you also felt a little pain, don't you think?", she then told him, giving him a look.

"Of course... And I'll never forget it again."

"And what if it happens? Maybe I need to show you again..."

"Oh, you think so? Well... It depends where... You should show me."

With those words Norman wasted no time and undressed her, throwing the clothes on the floor and concentrating on that body, for which he went mad.  
They went back inside without being able to break away from that embrace, to enjoy their first night together after so long, full of desire.


	45. Chapter 42

Norman rolled his eyes and waited for the hated beep.

"Hey, it's me. Here we go again with that story! Call me as soon as you hear this message... It's urgent!"

He hung up sighing and looked at the magazine again. Only the last of the many, who were now stacked on the table in front of him.

'Tears because of Reedus!"

'The fall of Y/N!'

'Y/N Y/L/N in a private clinic in Los Angeles!'

'A broken mother!'

It seemed that suddenly all the national and international press had concentrated on the private life of his companion and this continuous media fury only worsened her already precarious psychological and physical condition.  
It had been a few weeks now that this story was going on but Norman had stayed away from home for the last few days and Y/N had been careful not to let him participate in the cyclone, which was investing her.  
Now that he had been home for a week now and was starting to settle into his everyday life, Norman realized how heavy that situation really was, even for him.  
It seemed that any movement of the woman was monitored twenty-four hours a day and everything to capture evidence, to endorse the insistent voices on the actress nervous exhaustion.  
According to the press, the reasons for the emotional collapse were the most varied: From nostalgia because of the motherhood, to the well-known baby stress, from the work crisis because from lack of proposals to the increasingly interesting one, for which their love story hadn't been nothing more than a flash in the night, destined to end with the arrival of new flames in Y/N's and Norman's life.  
They were nonsense, they were all a bunch of crap, which only served to get bored people talking.   
And yet, that Y/N had problems was more than obvious to everyone; the photos of her ever so skinny, less and less visible behind the hollowed eyes and the videos of her unusual shots of anger against the flashes from the cameras of the photographers, were the order of the day.   
Norman had been hanging out in that environment long enough to understand that it was no accident: A huge story was in place, and this story had reached such large dimensions, that it was probably out of hand even to its creator.   
Who? Who could have been so angry with Y/N, to start such a thing?   
To suggest that their story was in crisis and that she had a new lover and to spy on the woman and stress her so much, just to see her finally give up.  
Whoever that perverse mind was, had to know Y/N or someone close to her well, to know that she was going through a difficult time.  
Suddenly Norman's thoughts were interrupted by his daughter's crying.  
He put the magazines aside and headed for the living room, where those two huge eyes and a toothless smile greeted him.  
He took her in his arms, making her smile with his funny grimaces. Norman sat down on the couch, continuing to watch her. It was so nice to see her play and discover new things every day. By now she began to study shapes and colors, to sit alone, getting lost in the images on the television or in music. The more he looked at her, the more Norman wondered what he had done to deserve such a miracle from life again. He loved to bathe her and see her wallow in the water or to spend his evenings lying on the veranda, rocking her to sleep.   
Y/N seemed quieter now that he was at home and that they could share everyday life together again for now. But Norman couldn't help but notice how much she had changed and how this apparent tranquility was nothing more than a facade, to hide an ever-increasing anxiety.  
It was then that the door opened and the woman made her entrance, wrapped as always in her huge armor, the one she used to hide from everything and everyone, as if it was a uniform.

"Hey look... Mommy is back!"

However, Y/N was not in the mood to play along. She dropped the blanket heavily to the ground and headed for the kitchen without a word.  
Norman took the little girl on his shoulder and followed her, ready for yet another crisis.

"Y/N? Is everything good? Did the audition go wrong?"

He approached and saw that she was pouring water into a glass, before opening a door and fumbling frantically for some kind of thing.

"No... Yes, it went well! Oh... Finally, here they are!"

Norman immediately recognized the orange bottle and didn't even have time to open his mouth because Y/N had already swallowed two of the pills.

"Again?"

The woman closed her eyes, leaning an elbow on the marble counter and rubbing her temple.

"Yes... I thought I couldn't do it... Really I... They are everywhere, Norman!"

She accompanied that disconnected phrase with a deep sigh, as if she could return to relax only now that she was protected by the four walls of the house. The pressure on her was getting too heavy.

"I know... I called my manager! You will see that she will end this story! I promise you!"

He stroked her back, looking at her displeased. He couldn't see her in that state and felt responsible for her.

"Her? Sure...", Y/N laughed, getting up and putting a weary and irritated look on him: "Is it possible that she's always involved? I don't need her now ... I just need those damn paparazzi to leave me alone once and for all! I don't understand Norman... Why can't you do a step without that woman? I know that she is your manager, but for real?"

It was always the same old story, Y/N even hated to hear her mentioned and she hated even more that Norman had turned to her for something that, in her opinion, didn't concern her at all. If it had been for her she would have eliminated the manager already and that damn mobile phone, which kept her in touch with her man day and night.

"Y/N, don't start again! You know why... She's the best in this stuff, she knows every single paparazzi and every single director!"

"Oh yes? So why didn't she think of it before? Why did you let me humiliate myself like this? I'll tell you why!"

"Y/N stop screaming!"

The woman had moved away and her eyes had taken on the same color as her daughter's, heralding the catastrophe.   
Norman was worried about those more and more frequent shots of anger, and he was worried mainly because he had no power over her in those moments, except to make her alter even more.  
Y/N was now close to the table and tortured her long Y/H/C hair, unable to stand still.

"That woman hates me... She always did. I wouldn't be surprised if she had unleashed all these photographers after me!"

"Stop it... Don't be paranoid now!"  
Norman looked at her with an ironic expression, returning the pacifier to the child, who looked at them without understanding.

"I'm already the paranoid one! Look here? Look!"  
She picked up the magazines, which the man had left on the table only a few minutes before and Norman felt himself sinking, seeing her eyes shining with anger and pain.

"The fall of Y/N! I have to turn off the phone to not answer my mother, you know? They are massacring me and you're surprised that I am like this right now? But what have I done? What did I do to deserve this?"  
She sat down on the kitchen couch and buried her head in her hands.

Norman came over and sat down next to her, putting their little daughter on his knees. 

"Nothing! Honey, you did nothing! You're just having a stressful time and they take advantage of it... It's just gossip... You are the novelty here!"

Y/N didn't answer, she didn't even raise her head and Norman was quiet for a few moments looking at her: Her legs wrapped in black trousers seemed even more skinny, her long Y/H/C hair hid almost all of her face, showing only her trembling hands.

"Y/N... But... All these medicines..."  
His voice was low and hesitant as he spoke those words. It was difficult for both of them to address that topic, but they had to do it.

"No... Don't even try it!", she admonished him, interrupting him immediately and raising a haunted look on him.

"But I have to! You're exaggerating! I don't know what your damn doctors tell you but they are not helping you as they should! Look at yourself! Look... You are very calm for a second and then you start shaking like hell!"

"It's not true!"  
Y/N stood up abruptly and the child burst into desperate tears.

"Oh no! No, love, excuse me! Sorry, did I scare you? Mommy didn't want to scream... Everything is fine!", he hastened to calm her with a gentle tone, almost as if he were about to burst into tears in turn.   
"This is what I mean... Look at yourself, even with the child it is the same!"

"With the child, what?"

"Don't look at her for hours and then become overprotective! It's a continuous swing... Do you really think you're feeling better? So where are the other pills? Those for headaches?"  
Norman got up and was particularly threatening even for Y/N, who was never afraid of him. The woman looked away, unable to hide her loss.

"In the-... They are in the car!"

"No! They are not in the car... That's why you're freaking out here!"  
He strode over to the counter and picked up the orange bottle, showing it to her with anger.  
"Here... Do you know how many are in here? Exactly twenty-five... There are twenty-five pills that you take as if they were candy along with who knows how many others, that you keep upstairs and that you don't even show me!"  
He was furious with her, it was as if he thought that she insisted on telling him absurd lies.   
Norman continued approaching her still with that bottle in his hand.  
"Now tell me, how many should you take a day?"

Y/N did not answer and held the child close to her as if to protect her from him, but this did nothing but make him even more nervous.

"One! One pill Y/N! And you're taking them like drugs. You can't even leave our home without these..."

It was bad of him, he knew that. It was horrible to shout those things in her face so directly, but he could no longer stand there and watch her when she destroyed herself before his eyes, with trying to lie to him.

"They are painkillers... They are only for headaches. I have to take them, don't you understand? The doctors said that if necessary..."

"If necessary. But it's always necessary for you!"

Y/N seemed to recover suddenly and took the bottle from his hands in anger.  
"How dare you rummage through my stuff? Do you think you can control me like a child?"

"Yes, I control you because you're hurting yourself! This stuff is ruining your life... And it's ruining us too!"  
He now saw the tears sparkle between her dark lashes and he felt broken for being so hard to her.

"Come on now. It's time for dinner."

Y/N did not resist and let the man take the child from her arms, to put her on the high chair. She was still shocked by his words, by the photos and by all that confusion.   
She quickly wiped her eyes and tried to get out of that room as quickly as possible.

"Y/N, where are you going? You know that she eats more if you give it to her..."

Norman's now calm voice made her stop in the doorway.  
"I don't think that's the case..."

"Of course that's the case!", he answered, staying focused. 

He waited a few seconds and finally heard her fumbling with the plastic bib, while convincing the child not to do the usual whims.   
He had never raised his voice like that with her, he had never been so hard and determined. He felt bad, he felt guilty as when he had to deny something, knowing that he did it for their own good. But this time it had to be of some use because Y/N had to recover.


	46. Chapter 43

Now they were there, in a room full of people, who just wanted to celebrate Norman and that new movie production where Y/N felt like a stranger. She watched him take pictures and shake hands, wondering how she could have done the same until a few months before. It was enough to look at them to realize it: Everyone loved Norman Reedus, from the fans to the colleagues, up to the experts. Everyone wanted a piece of him and she couldn't even stand their accusing eyes anymore.

"Is everything okay?", his manager asked. She knew him too well and immediately realized that something had changed in his expression.

"Yes... Y/N comes my way, sorry, I have no time to talk right now."

"Where were you?"

Norman looked annoyed, as he whispered those words in her ear and Y/N couldn't help but feel the managers gaze on her back. She was only there because she wanted to prove to the whole world that things between her and Norman were going well, but in reality the evening was turning out to be a complete disaster. She didn't answer, tried to smile at the waiter and took a glass of wine from the tray on the table.

"You shouldn't drink, you know!"

"Stop controlling me!"

She drank the wine down in one gulp and the man snorted beside her, continuing to sip his beer without too much enthusiasm. From the first discussion in their relationship, instead of improving, it had become more tense. Norman was breathing down her neck and she felt more and more judged, not only from the whole world but also from him. She saw his reproachful gaze every time he entered the house, every time he picked up the child or when she isolated herself in the garden just to stay away from him. It had reached the point where she hid even when the headache returned to torment her and She tried to stay as far away from home as possible so as not to cross his way.

"I'm going to smoke a cigarette, leave me alone!", she told him, turning her attention away from his conversation with others.

Norman couldn't help but sketch a fake smile as he followed her with his eyes as she walked out of the room.  
  
  
  
Y/N came out and took a deep breath of the L.A. night air. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall beside the door, while the laughter and the music was heard from inside. Why was she here? Why had she thought she was strong enough to face all that terrible pressure?  
They had arrived on the red carpet and the first thing she had thought as soon as the flashes of the cameras had started to blind them, was that she wanted to run away from there. The nausea, which had assailed her, had almost threatened to yield her, but then Norman's hand had reassured her and she clung to him, trying to force herself and smile. Always to smile, that was the rule.  
What if she could no longer support that situation? If even the medicines could no longer calm her and keep her upright? She should have left that job, she should have left Norman and the whole world.

"Do you need a lighter?"

The click of a lighter and the warm voice suddenly woke her up.

"Oh... It's you! You scared me!"

"I know, I always do this to women!", their bodyguard joked, lighting her cigarette and studying the woman's profile carefully.

"Difficult evening, isn't it?", he then asked, standing beside Y/N and lighting one of his thin cigars in turn.

"Yeah... I wonder what pushed me to come! It would have been better for me to stay home!", Y/N sighed before taking another puff.

The man was silent for a moment. He was not good at those things, he was a man of few words, who knew how to do his job without interfering in private matters, but the more time passed, the more he realized that he had become attached to that sad-looking woman who was once more than a diva.  
He had also been happy when Norman had told him that they would both return to Los Angeles; everything would have been easier for him, for the manager and for the whole enormous entourage, which had surrounded the actor for years.  
As soon as he had seen Y/N again, he had immediately realized that that return hadn't really been such a happy choice. No psychologist was needed to understand that something was wrong with her and that this was also affecting the life of Norman, who had never been so irritable and worried in his life.  
While the actor was away for the shoot, it was him who had set up everything needed for the safety of Y/N and their little daughter; after all, he had always dealt with the issues of Norman's Ex.  
Yet something had gone wrong, he didn't know what it was but there was always some problem, it seemed that the whole world of the magazines always knew exactly where the young actress was.  
Y/N did not like being followed but with time and with the beginning of the mediatic aggression that had struck her, she resigned herself to trusting him or not going out at all.  
If that was one of the couple's first official appearances together again, it certainly wasn't one of the easiest for both: Y/N was nervous, the flashes seemed to annoy her in a special way, as if she was more sensitive to blinding light and to the screams of the crowd, than she hadn't been in the past.  
The indiscreet questions were not lacking and often the mask she had worn, badly hid her suffering.  
Now the woman was there beside him and smoking eagerly without saying a word, with her eyes closed and the appearance of a ghost. The black dress, down to her feet, wrapped her body again, threadlike, and her face looked more angular, thanks to her makeup and refined hairstyle.  
There was nothing to say, Y/N was a fantastic woman, of a particular elegance but now she seemed just like a scared little creature who does not belong on this planet.

"Oh shit!", he heard her exclaim as she tried to recover her cigarette, which had slipped from her fingers.

The woman's hands were visibly shaking and when he met her gaze, he realized immediately that she was confused, as if he had discovered some kind of secret.

"Is everything okay?", he asked, while she was already looking for an escape route. "Do you want me to walk you inside?", the man asked her, seeing her in difficulty and bending down to help her get up.

"Yes! Everything is fine! It's just-..."

"Is your head spinning?"

"I... I must have drunk a little too much..."  
Y/N's eyes widened, freeing herself from the hands of the bodyguard, who held her firmly for fear that she would lose her balance.  
"Oh no... No, no! Maybe I should go home! Yes... I think I'll go home!"

"But now? And Norman?"

"He must stay until the end... I'll take a taxi... Could you tell him? I can't go back to that room now!"

The bodyguard was worried, what was he supposed to do? Accompany? Call another driver to escort her or leave her alone in a taxi? And what would Norman have said?

  
He immediately spotted it from the other end of the huge hall. He knew it was Eva, it had been twenty minutes since she had just disappeared for a cigarette. "Here's Johnny ... Eva said she wasn't feeling well and ..." "I mean? ... Is she gone? Did you let her go? But did he give you the brain? ” Jerry didn't expect such a reaction from the man. "He wasn't feeling well ... seriously Johnny, I couldn't force her to stay!" "Oh sure! And you always believe in everything he tells you, isn't it ?! Has she become your boss now? ” Johnny immediately regretted those words out of place. He was not used to being so rude and certainly he was the first to be surprised by his reaction. "What happens? Something wrong?"  
A nod was enough for Johnny to abandon his conversation and approach the bodyguard with a questioning expression.  
"What's up? Where is she? "

It was his manager, who had approached him in his elegant black suit.

"No, nothing! Y/N is gone!"

"Did you let her go?"

The bodyguard nodded, feeling himself blush in front of the accusation, which the woman gave him. They had been working closely for years but they could barely tolerate each other.

"Her head was spinning, she didn't look good! She went home!"

"Oh perfect... And now paparazzi can have as much fun as they want! One must not complain if certain images come out!"

Norman looked at her angrily from that unprofessional comment.

"Ok thanks... I'll be back soon!"

He dismissed him with a friendly pat on the shoulder, hoping he hadn't taken it too seriously.

"I have to drink! So, what are you taking? The usual?", Norman said, looking around and heading towards the counter, followed by the woman, as he called back the barman with a nod.  
They remained leaning against that counter to observe the man's expert gestures and she could not help but watch Norman's profile, the same profile she had liked for so long.  
She saw him pull back his slightly long hair again, with his usual hasty and tremendously sexy gesture, and then leaned with an elbow on the polished marble top.

"Are you worried?", she finally asked, posing sympathetically.

"I don't even know!", he said, lowering his gaze and then continuing more sincerely: "Yes... Yes, I am! It's all falling apart..."

Norman felt the woman's hand on his back.  
"Don't say that... I know it's hard with Y/N... But Norman, she's not feeling well... And you can see it very well! These are not things to be taken lightly!"

Norman sighed, looking away from the glass in front of him and letting him wander again over the waiters' movements.  
"Yes... The real problem are those damn medicines! Instead of helping her they are changing her!"

It was hard to see him so down but his manager knew him well and knew that he just needed someone, to tell him what he probably already thought.  
"Maybe you should force her to seek treatment. I mean if she can't do it herself?"

Norman looked at her surprised and took another sip of whiskey with a grimace of disgust.  
"What do you mean? Y/N is not incapable of understanding and wanting! And she's already being treated!"

But she decided to continue on that road; Norman could not continue to protect a woman, who had only created problems for him. Y/N was a mass of insecurities and self-centeredness and certainly did not deserve all that what she had already obtained. Soon Norman himself would have changed his mind and even the nature of his feelings would have been clearer.

The man's gaze suddenly darkened as he was intercepted by two well-known green eyes.

"Fuck... What's she doing here?"  
He drank the entire glass in one gulp, before bringing a hand to his jeans pocket to get the tobacco.  
"Come on, let's go out for a cigarette!"

His manager immediately understood what had upset her friend. His attractive Ex-Girlfriend had just entered, hand in hand with a well-known producer she was working with.

"Does she still have this effect?", she asked point-blank, as soon as they were away from indiscreet ears.

"What effect? There's not any effect..."

"If you say so..."

The woman studied his worried face for a few moments. She herself had never thought of his Ex, she had fought so hard against Y/N in her mind, that she had completely forgotten about it.

"I have other things on my mind now...", Norman concluded, throwing out a cloud of smoke as if to dispel the image of her from his mind.

"Yes sure. But have you thought about what to do? For Y/N I mean... This story is in danger of ruining your image Norman!"

A predictable grimace was painted on the man's face.  
"My image? Again this story?"

"No, maybe not... But surely the fact that your daughter's mother is labeled as an unstable and maybe dangerous woman is not the best thing. And now I'm not just talking about your public image! In short, Norman, Y/N has a serious problem, it seems clear to me and almost everyone else! I don't think this kind of thing has a positive effect on a girl as small as your daughter!"

She stared him straight in the eye, knowing that she was pushing herself beyond their professional relationship.

"What are you saying? Y/N would never hurt our daughter!"

"Maybe not... But do you think she has a positive influence on her? Do you think your daughter does well to live with a drugged mother?"  
His manager dropped that sentence into the void, knowing she would hit him right in his face with it.

"Hey no, wait a minute... It's not like that!"  
The man was on the defensive but his eyes were full of fear at the very idea that she could be right.

"Maybe not voluntarily... But, who tells you that Y/N is no danger? You also said that she is unrecognizable and let me say it, you are too! I never saw you like that, not even when things went wrong with your Ex-Wife!"

She stroked his cheek, with a maternal and reassuring gesture, just what Norman needed in that moment of loneliness and worry.  
She raised her clear eyes on him, always so sincere and transparent, and the man had the unhealthy instinct to approach her. But he restrained himself and shifted his gaze to his hand.

"I know it's hard..."

"I love Y/N..."

"Okay... So if you love her, help her!"  
The woman sought his gaze, sketching a smile to which he replied gratefully.

"Do what's right for your daughter Norman. She's the most important thing now! And know that whatever happens, I'll be there! You can always count on me..."

The man finally let himself go, letting himself be embraced.  
"Thank you! That means a lot to me!"


	47. Chapter 44

"Y/N where are you?"

It was almost three in the morning when Norman crossed the threshold of their house. He took off his boots and leather jacket, before climbing the stairs to the bedroom.

"Y/N?"

He lowered his voice in fear of waking up the little girl, who was sleeping in the room next to them.  
Only then did he hear noises coming from the bathroom and looked around, finding the door ajar.  
Y/N was refreshing her visibly tired face; it was clear that she had just felt sick and her eyes were still full of tears.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing.", she mumbled, wiping her face with the towel.

"You're sick? Again?"  
He was angry with her and seeing her so annoyed towards him certainly didn't help him to calm down.

Y/N did not look at him and walked past him to return to the bedroom. Her hair was badly tied and she wore only a dark cotton shirt, which made her eyes stand out impressively.

Norman meanwhile followed her with his eyes.  
"So you ran away without even bothering to tell me?"

The woman seemed to want to hide her face behind her hair while sitting on the bed, spreading the cream in her hands.

"Answer me at least!", he finally blurted out, now exasperated.

"It was wrong to come to the premiere... That's all!"

"Then what should you have done? Do you wanna stay here like that every day?"

"Yes... I would have avoided everyone!"

"Surely you would have avoided me making a fool of yourself in front of everyone!"

Y/N stared at him incredulously.  
Norman began to undress, taking off his shirt and jeans with nervous gestures.  
"You left me there like a fool with everyone else, with people who were happy to meet you! What do you think they all thought? And then you are surprised that gossip is unleashed?"

Y/N felt herself feeling down again and followed him like a fury towards the bathroom, which he had just entered.  
"How can you say such a thing? You know what happened... You know how the press is! Do you really think I wanted all this? Do you think I would have built this nightmare to ruin your career and mine too? How can you be so... So self-centered!"

Norman noticed immediately that he had exaggerated, he had spoken to her exactly like his manager had done only a few hours before.  
"No... No I don't think so! I think these are the cause of everything!", he said, opened the cabinet with anger and grabbed the pills, shaking them under the nose of his companion.

"Norman stop it! You're drunk!", she begged him, with a hysterical note in her voice. She was not used to seeing him so beside himself.

"Yeah! I drank, so what? Tomorrow I will pass but you? Probably not..."

"No, what are you doing? Stop!"

She tried to stop him, as he threw the whole content of the bottle into the toilet. Norman then wrenched himself free from her grip.

"What I should have done from the start! Thats enough! Because... I want my Y/N back! I will not continue to see this bullshit!"

"What did you do! Oh fuck... What did you do?"

The woman seemed not to hear his words, she kept looking at the pills that were slowly melting, feeling as if they had just removed the oxygen from her lungs. What would she do now?

"See? You're ridiculous!"

Tears flowed down Y/N's face and her unkempt hair made her look slightly crazy.  
Norman held her tightly in both arms, shaking her slightly in the vain hope of getting her back to him. The effect of too much whiskey did not allow him to understand how much he was exaggerating.

"Who have you become, Y/N? Who are you?"

"Stop it Norman, please..."

He saw her lower her face, unable to hold his gaze and no longer saw it; he felt anger and frustration growing second by second and made an incredible effort to maintain a firm and authoritative tone.

"Listen to me, because I won't repeat it to you again: I want you to stop with this shit! You have to detoxify once and for all... I don't care how long it will take, how much money you will need, but you have to do it! I'm not going to stay here and watch without doing anything. I have no intention of leaving my daughter in the hands of a woman so unstable!"

Y/N could only shake her head, barely suppressing the nausea, which had hit her as soon as Norman's alcoholic breath reached her. The man looked straight into her eyes and his voice seemed to come from a cave far away, so deep and frightening.

"If you don't, I swear I'll ask for custody!"

Norman didn't have time to realize that he had spoken those words, that a dry slap hit him full in the face, leaving him still and forcing him to let go.  
Y/N took a few steps away from him, looking at him with an incredulous expression, full of disappointment and hatred.  
This was too much... He had told her that she was a drug addict, a madwoman, and a bad mother, but she herself couldn't even think of that.

"No! You won't do it... You won't take away my baby! I will never let you do it! Never!"

Her screams echoed down the corridor, as she was already running towards the floor below like she was possessed. She had to get out of that house, she had to get away from him, before she did something foolish.

"Y/N! Where are you going? Come back here!"

Norman chased her, paying no attention to the fact that he was half naked and that the woman was barefoot and wearing only that nightgown.  
Their daughters desperate cry came to him far away and forced him to stop, while Y/N grabbed the keys to her car and was about to leave.

"What are you doing? Come back here... You can't drive like that! Y/N, fuck! Y/N!"

The door closed with a loud noise and when Norman opened it to reach the woman, the tires of the vehicle were already scouring in the driveway before disappearing far away.  
  


Norman looked around confused, unable to realize what had really happened.  
He had seen that scene almost a year before. He had already seen the same door close behind Y/N's shoulders and had already felt so lost. But this time he was not alone, his daughter continued to cry and he felt weak, unable to move, as if emptied after an attack of uncontrollable anger.  
What had he done? Had he really threatened to take their daughter away from her?  
He went back into the house, ran up the stairs and took her in his arms, trying to calm her. But in reality he was the one who had to try to calm himself; his mind swirled in a maze of terrible thoughts and images.  
Why hadn't he stopped her? He had to know where she was heading before she did something she would regret.  
Y/N was upset, undressed and barefoot, she had been drinking and certainly was stuffed with medicines, but above all Norman didn't have the slightest idea where she would go and he was almost sure that she didn't know either.

"It's fine... It's all right, love!", he whispered, kissing the child's hair on her head, which by now had taken on the tones of brown.  
He searched for his mobile phone and dialed the woman's number, but as expected he heard the ringtone downstairs, where Y/N had left her purse.  
What could he do now?  
Should he get in the car at that time of night with a child only a few months old, without a specific destination? Should he wake Jeffrey up and ask him to come over? Or should he have called his bodyguard, or better yet, the police and denounced the disappearance of his companion, so as to make her find but at the same time put her in trouble with justice?  
He couldn't even spur all these thoughts as he paced back and forth in the room, hugging the baby and looking for a solution.  
Suddenly the effect of alcohol seemed to have vanished and only the lucidity and the awareness of having made a huge mistake remained.  
The phone rang suddenly in his hands, waking the baby up again and making her wince. For only a second he was animated by the vague hope of hearing Y/N's voice but only ten minutes had passed and she certainly did not have another phone with her.

"Yes?"

"Norman it's me... I knew I would find you awake! Are you sure Y/N is okay?"

The man felt tears rising as he recognized his bodyguards voice.

"Oh hell, it's you! No... No I fucked up! She left... We had a fight and she took the car..."

He was aware of the incomprehensibility of his words but could not explain himself better and the screams of the child prevented him from concentrating.

"Should I call the police? The hospitals perhaps?"

"Okay, okay Norman... I'll be right there, okay? Give me ten minutes and try not to do anything at the moment!"

His bodyguard knew all too well that Norman could become extremely impulsive in such situations.  
Less than ten minutes later, the bodyguard's car entered the tree-lined driveway.

"Excuse me, really... I shouldn't have involved you! But I really don't know what to do... Oh helle, she won't stop crying..."

"Come on... Let me take her."

He had wasted no time and had taken the little girl from the arms of Norman, starting to whisper a lullaby to calm her down, bringing her with him inside to leave her in her bed. When they were finally alone the atmosphere of the room returned into absolute silence.

"Excuse me... I'm really sorry. I think I went too far. She probably went to Orlando's house. But she was so upset... She was beside herself..."

The man walked nervously up to the window, bringing a hand through his hair and looking out in the hope of seeing her come back.  
His bodyguard followed him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Norman was much thinner than in the past and certainly all the nervousness accumulated over the past few months had contributed to that change.

"But how could I have been so... So insensitive? So mean..."

"But what did you do? What could you have done that's so bad?"

Norman turned around but didn't have the courage to look into his friend's dark eyes.

"I have... Oh... I can't believe I did such a stupid thing!"

He couldn't even say those words again but the mans silence convinced him to spit out the words, with shame painted on his face.

"I threatened to take the baby away from her."

The bodyguard was silent for a few seconds, trying to recover from that kind of surprise.

"You did what? No... I can't believe it, did you really said such a thing?"

It wasn't Norman's behavior, he was someone who always looked for the best solution, especially if it concerned the people he most loved.

"I know... I know I was wrong! But I just wanted to spur her. I wanted her to stop with those pills, to react once and understand that what she's doing is harmful to her... To all of us! I don't know what came over me... She was there in front of me and she didn't even seem to listen to me! Oh hell... What did I do? And now?"

He finally looked up at the man, who looked at him with a mixture of understanding and tenderness.  
"Now you can do nothing... It's four in the morning, even if we call the police station they won't do anything because of a disappearance of a person after only an hour. You'll see that she's really gone to Orlando or some other friend in the area. Y/N is not reckless!"

"No... You didn't see her... She was unrecognizable!"

The bodyguard saw the desperation in his eyes and squeezed him, hoping to be right, hoping that Y/N put the mother instinct before anger and frustration.  
Norman now sucked in the unmistakable scent of his cigarette and felt the tears rising in his eyes again.

"If anything should happen to her..."

"No, shut up... Nothing will happen to her, you'll see..."


	48. Chapter 45

Norman looked around disoriented, before identifying the unmistakable figure.

"Orlando? You're already here?"

He stood up to meet him out of breath, which almost prevented him from speaking. He still felt confused by the drunkenness of the night before and by the terrible quarrel, of which he was not even sure he remembered all the details.  
His bodyguard too had stayed with him until that morning, when the call had woken him from his restless sleep. He could not have said how, but as soon as he heard the ringtone, Norman understood that something had happened and that everything was about to collapse.  
He had been surprised, however, by the rumor that had made him aware of what had happened: Bloom, he again. That man seemed to be everywhere.

"Norman, you're finally here! I was about to call you..."

"So? What happened? Is she okay?"

Orlando looked at him hesitantly, their last meeting dated back to the birth of the child and certainly neither of them expected to meet again in the same hospital, which had brought them together so many times in the past, negative and positive.

"Yes... Like I told you on the phone, it wasn't a serious accident and fortunately it didn't involve other cars. Y/N only reported some superficial excoriations but-..."  
He pulled him aside, lowering his tone so as not to be heard by prying ears.  
"When the ambulance arrived, she was in a state of shock... And the toxicological tests-..."

There was no need for him to continue, Norman knew very well what he was talking about. He looked down, ashamed of the words he had to say.  
"Yes... Y/N is going through a difficult time! But what about the drugs? Those are medicines regularly prescribed by-..."

"Yes, I know... I know everything Norman! Don't worry... We have already contacted the doctors, who have treated her at the private clinic, but it is possible that the police will ask for clarifications! I will do everything in my power too, so that nothing comes out of here, I assure you!"

Their eyes met and Norman understood that the man still loved Y/N, just as when he had prayed to him in the airport bathroom not to make her suffer anymore.  
But he had not succeeded and for the umpteenth time their story was broken in the balance.  
Norman put his hand to his hair and wandered with his eyes to the people, who were busy in the corridor throwing him curious glances. The bodyguard's eyes intercepted his from far away. He had arrived as soon as he could and now he checked that everything was under control.  
Orlando realized how much Norman felt guilty and hesitated a few moments, without having the courage to go on.

"Where is she now? Can I see her?"

"Not immediately..."

Norman looked at him anxiously but couldn't read anything in his eyes. What could be worse? He let him continue, not knowing what to expect.

"Right now they're preparing her to take her downstairs. If-..."  
Orlando hesitated looking for the right words.  
"They maybe need to do an operation... A Caesarean section, it's because of a Miscarriage..."

Norman looked at him without understanding.  
"An operation? A WHAT?"

Orlando's sympathetic gaze was filled with something that looked very much like compassion, as he slowly began to realize what was happening and the words died in his throat.

"Oh my God!"  
Norman brought both hands to his hair, walking a few steps away. He felt that his legs would not hold him and Orlando seemed to notice his moment of difficulty, going to help him.

"I'm sorry Norman! They only noticed it during the last tests. Y/N's didn't know... She was only a few weeks pregnant!"

"It's not possible... No, it's not possible..."  
Norman could only repeat those words, as he began to realize the enormity of the situation. He couldn't even look the man in the face, he could only continue to wander with his eyes in search of a hold, which would not make him collapse.  
Y/N had lost a child in the accident and he felt like it was all his fault.  
Everything suddenly became so clear: The nausea, the mood swings and that persistent headache, all symptoms that both had attributed only to drug abuse, but certainly not to a possible pregnancy. Besides, their daughter was only seven months old and Y/N had just stopped breastfeeding; both were sure it would be impossible to conceive again. And instead...

"And does she know? Did they tell her?"  
For a moment he hoped that Y/N was not conscious and that he could be the one to prepare her for those terrible news.

"Yes, they had to tell her a little while ago... We have to leave her alone only a little time to metabolize the news!"

His eyes escaped his gaze for a moment and Norman understood how difficult it must have been for him too. He felt small again towards him, as if he had betrayed his trust, in addition to Y/N's too.

"We are ready!"  
A nurse appeared in the corridor and everyone changed their expression.  
"You don't have to worry, it's a routine procedure... There will be no complications of any kind. The doctors will come and tell us how it is as soon as they are finished!"

Norman stood still, looking at the closed doors, while that sentence continued to echo in his head: A routine procedure. But what could a routine procedure be like?  
He leaned against the wall and retraced all the moments that had brought him back to that corridor in the last year. It couldn't be all that hard, it couldn't all fall apart!  
His bodyguard now approached him with concern, he must have heard everything judging from his dismayed expression.

"Y/N won't make it...", Norman murmured almost to himself, shaking his head. He felt completely powerless but he knew that it was nothing compared to what the woman had to feel.

"Of course she will make it! You will both make it..."  
His bodyguard seemed almost like a father at that moment and who knows, maybe he felt exactly like that towards that man, who he had protected for a lifetime.  
But now he couldn't protect him from what was happening to him, all he could do was to remain beside him in silence.  
  


  
  
He had spent so much time watching over Y/N in rooms like that. In a room like that he realized he loved her for the first time, he had hidden tears when he thought he was losing her and he felt the most proud man in the world when he had witnessed their baby's first meal.  
But now? This time everything was different, sadder, lugubrious...  
Norman hesitantly entered, trying to get used to the darkness.  
His every move was a frightening slowness and this was because in his heart he hoped to delay the moment when he would have to face the woman's gaze.  
He went to the bed and took a few moments to recognize her, curled up in a corner and completely hidden by the blankets.   
Y/N turned her back to him and gave no sign of having noticed his arrival.  
Norman stood still, not daring to say a word or raise a hand to touch her; he had the impression that she was so small that he would surely crumble at her touch.

"Y/N...", he finally murmured in an uncertain voice, without getting any answer but a suffocated sob.

"Y/N, forgive me..."

That's all he needed to tell her from the moment she slapped him, bringing him back to reason.  
The woman did not move, it was obvious that she was crying and that she probably had no intention of talking to him.  
Norman finally reached out a hand, stroking her disheveled hair and continued with his explanations.

"I shouldn't have... I... I just wanted to see you react. I would never take her away from you, you know that. You must know!"

Y/N's almost imperceptible voice reached his ears, forcing him to stop.  
"No... You were right... Everyone was right... I'm a danger to her. I-..."

The voice broke into a silent cry and Norman felt himself dying inside.  
The instinct to hold her in his arms had become the only thing he could think of but he knew he couldn't do it, she would reject him.

"Y/N please, no! Not like that... Look at me!"

The woman seemed to shut herself even more in her shell, even hiding her eyes.

"Honey, you couldn't have known... It was an accident! I should never have allowed you to leave in that state. I should never have told you those things..."

He froze, overcome by emotion.  
Y/N kept shaking her head, trying to stifle her sobs.  
She had the feeling she couldn't move or maybe she was just too afraid to look at him. She wanted to suffocate in that bed and no longer feel the burden of guilt, which was killing her.

"No... It's my fault... It's all my fault..."

Norman didn't want to hear the next words but he stroked her back anyway, to encourage her and to let off steam. As great as the confusion and pain was, he had no idea what she could feel at such a difficult time.  
Finally Y/N turned around, clinging unexpectedly to his arm; her eyes were empty, liquid, frightening.

"How can you not understand? I did it... I... I killed it, not the accident. It was me with all those medicines... I even drank! Oh hell, how could I? How could I..."

Norman had never seen her so desperate, the sobs almost prevented her from breathing.

"Y/N, no... Stop it! Neither of us could imagine it. You would never have done these things, if only you had a presentiment... I know you! Now you just have to try to get back on your feet... You must let me help you! You will see... We will have other children..."

Y/N looked away, denying with her head in a now hysterical movement.  
"No! I don't want other children! I... I want this!"

Norman closed his eyes. He also wanted that child. He also wanted to notice first what was happening to his partner, so as to avoid the tragedy. But he had to force her, he couldn't collapse right now that she seemed reduced to a thousand broken pieces.

"I know! I know it, Sweetheart... But we can't do anything about it now... All we can do now is try to be strong and go home to our daughter. She is there... She needs both of her parents!"  
He realized he was holding her a little too tight and loosened his grip, reaching out to kiss her forehead but Y/N pushed her face away again to escape him.

"No. I can't, I can't..."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I can't do it anymore..."

That sudden change left him speechless. Y/N was avoiding him again and seemed more convinced than ever of her words, of which, however, Norman could not yet understand the meaning.

"Y/N, what are you saying?"

"It's useless now... Everything... It's all over! We... I can't go on like this."

"Of course you can! We will through this time together, we both and our daughter!"

"Please Norman... Leave me alone..."

It was then that the man understood the real gravity of Y/N's words. She was leaving him.

"No! You can't be serious! Now you are upset but you will see that everything will work out... Please..."

Y/N hid her face in the pillow and just kept crying. Yes, she was upset and now even the man was completely broken.

"You'll see that it will pass! This time will pass and we will be able to go back to being happy!"

Yet even he was no longer so convinced, he was just clinging to his own words, realizing that Y/N was always further away from him.


	49. Chapter 46

"I have already contacted an expert of neurology and our major psychiatric department expert too."

"Psychiatry?"  
Norman returned the pacifier to his daughter, casting a worried glance at the doctor sitting across from him.

"In these cases a consultation with them is a must. Here you see... This is not my field but I took some time to study Y/N's case and I came to the conclusion that they could have mistaken the initial diagnosis."

"What does it mean? A mistake? It's one of the best clinics in Los Angeles!"

The doctor focused on his hands, still fiddling with the pen.

"I know... But I'm afraid they haven't thoroughly evaluated her medical history... From a neurological point of view, I mean. Y/N suffered a rather serious head injury in early pregnancy. I believe that the mood swings, the depressive and paranoid state, were nothing more than the consequences of that trauma... Of course the postpartum depression could have exacerbated them at first... The sudden downfall of hormones, which occurs following the birth may have been the trigger... But it can't be the only cause, at least not in the long term and not with these results."

"Are you telling me they didn't have to treat her for depression?"

"No... I'm telling you that they should have focused more on physical problems than psychological ones. You said so too, her problem was mainly migraine headaches, not anxiety... That stemmed from media fury and medicine abuse. They probably just focused on the fact that she had given birth only a few months ago. I see every day women who suffer from this disorder and I can assure you that I would probably have made the same mistake if I had not witnessed everything that happened before. But then again, the brain is not my field, so I asked for the help of some specialists."

Their private doctor was forced to look up at Norman but tried to concentrate on the little girl, without intercepting the deep eyes.  
He felt a great pity for the man, who seemed to have the world in his hand and who instead found himself alone in his own, with a girl not even seven months old in his arms.  
He had envied Norman so much, he had even detested him when he thought he was a weak man and unable to keep up a story with the woman another man clearly loved too. And instead now, he began to estimate him again. He didn't even imagine the point of stress he had reached, to quarrel like that with Y/N.  
Now he should have put him in front of the reality of things, a reality he certainly wouldn't have liked.  
He took a deep sigh, looking back at the papers and test results which laid in front of him.

"Listen, what I believe is that by changing the medical approach, she could get better and longer lasting results. However, the body of Y/N could not hold this rhythm for much longer. Painkillers, stress, abortion... And then Norman, I have to tell you... She's very undernourished..."

Norman remained silent, putting a hand to his temple and then going down towards his chin. He knew there was no need for the doctor, as a perfect hero of the country, to point out to him what was happening to his partner's body.  
He took a deep breath, changing position on the chair and arranging his daughters little sweatshirt.

"So... Will you change the medication?"

The doctor cleared his throat.  
"We will have to proceed by trial and error until we find the right therapy for her. But I'm sure we'll make it. Y/N wants to get better..."

Norman swallowed, realizing that the woman had talked a lot more with the doctor than with him.  
He held the baby close to him, making her sit on his knee and letting her play with the ring on his hand.

"I've never seen her like this... You can get her out of this nightmare, right? I will do everything you tell me, you know that money is not a problem. I'll have her family come from New York if she needs them, I'll stop acting for a year... Or more, if necessary!"

He didn't even know why he was saying those things, maybe unconsciously he hoped the doctor would tell them to Y/N.  
It was then that the doctor again cleared his throat and intervened uncertainly.

"You see... I don't think there will be any need for it. Y/N asked if she could stay here..."

"Here?", Norman asked and his surprise was obvious.

"In psychiatry...", he had told him. The doctor had feared that moment all day.

Norman shifted in his chair, raising the child and squeezing her closer to his chest.  
"Did you ask her? What do you mean? I thought she would come home tonight..."

"I know, but she doesn't want to go home... She says she doesn't feel like going home with you and the baby... She keeps repeating that she doesn't want to hurt her too... I think this abortion story upset her more than we thought."

"No... It's my fault! Who would shout those things at the woman he loves? I did! And you can't imagine how much I think of that, I'm a terrible man!"

He stroked his daughters little head, continuing to think of the scenes of the night before.

"Maybe it's better this way. We as physicians are obliged to do what is best for our patients... Perhaps now Y/N needs to be alone and above all to be supervised by experts accustomed to these kind of problems. The fact that it is not mere depression does not make things easier. Post traumatic syndromes are not easily going away, especially if there is a period of drug and medicine detoxification. Y/N could be even more irritable, she could have relapses, personality changes... And she must try to live with violent headaches, at least for the first time. I believe it is better to keep here here for a few weeks, so as not to expose her to even more media pressure."

Yet Norman understood, it was not a simple medical choice. He nodded without appearing convinced.

"There won't be any visits later from a certain man, won't they?"

The doctor was caught off guard, he knew who Norman meant.

"No... I don't know!"

"Of course you know... She tells you everything! Who knows, maybe if we hadn't run away from New York... If HE had been present in her life while I was away, things would have been different..."

"Maybe... But we can't know! I haven't been in touch with her for the past few months, so I don't know anything."

The doctor was on the defensive. They weren't talking about work and medical records right now and that was making him nervous. Yet he really didn't knew what was going on between her and Orlando Bloom.

"Y/N wants to leave... She wants to run away from me. She'll be back in New York... I can imagine it. She is not happy here! She is not happy with me... She never has been happy with me, but with him..."

"Norman don't say that! She's just upset and tired over the last few months. Leave her alone for a while. Give her time. She certainly won't leave the child alone."

"Aren't you seeing it? I left her alone for months and when I returned I did nothing but accuse her. That's what happened."

The doctor adjusted his coat, feeling uneasy about the unexpected confession.  
He pulled back a strand of his hair and started talking again, trying to look sympathetic.  
"Just leave her alone for a while. You'll see that things will work out! Clearly she will be able to see your daughter whenever she wants and you too can visit her every day... We will try to be at your disposal without attracting attention. I understand how delicate this situation is for you and your family."

He had dribbled the subject, starting to focus on work again, but Norman didn't seem willing to let go of his owm thoughts.

"She told you that she didn't want to see me, didn't she?", he said and lowered his voice, as if he was afraid that the child might understand what he was saying.

The doctors instinct forced him to answer, not immediately, but his heart told him he shouldn't lie. He hesitated a few seconds, rubbing his beard.

"She just wants to get a grip of her own life again..."

"And she can't do it with me...", the actor finished the sentence bitterly.

"Not with you... But with this world, with yours! I never followed the gossip but it was impossible not to come across those articles... They were absolutely derogatory. It surprises me that there are no reports against those newspapers."

"It doesn't work exactly like this Doc... I tried to stop them, believe me! But Y/N had become broken and tired and they took advantage of it. We... Well, I'm already used to this kind of thing."

"Yes, but Y/N isn't! Maybe she was too vulnerable to handle such a situation."

"Yeah, maybe...", Norman concluded, looking at his daughter with resignation.

The doctor got up from his leather chair and walked him to the door; certainly the bodyguard was there in front, waiting for him to escort him out.

"We will take care of Y/N, we will do everything we can to return her to being the woman like you know her. In the meantime you have to think about this little angel, so you won't miss her mother too much."

He squeezed the little girl's hand, who answered him with one of her magnificent smiles.  
They shook hands and the doctor stared at the now closed office door.  
It was terrible to see the sadness in Norman's eyes as he asked him to leave the woman he loved alone.  
He didn't know how much Y/N's refusal to everything and everyone was due to her delicate mental condition and how much it would affect her future. He only knew that he had faced an absolutely unrecognizable woman and that he would not abandon her now that she needed help most. Once again he had the feeling of having put himself in a situation, which would make him suffer: Another man loved Y/N too, she told him everything about Orlando and he knew he would be there, by her side tomorrow. He knew that this man had never stopped thinking about her and now that he saw how bad the relationship between her and Norman had been, he knew that Orlando probably regretted having her let go for the first time. And maybe he still had a chance.


	50. Chapter 47

Why had he agreed to do it?  
He had never gone so far to save a relationship.  
Norman looked around disoriented, continuing to torture his chin.  
Y/N was sitting at the other end of the sofa, she wasn't looking at him but remained with her eyes fixed on the umpteenth lighted cigarette.

"Norman...", the psychoanalyst resumed, crossing his legs and starting to write on his huge notebook: "What made you decide to attend one of our meetings?"

Norman tried to concentrate and not be distracted by the obsessive movement of Y/N's leg beside him.  
"I think it can help her feel better..."

It was a banal but sincere answer.  
Y/N had entered the clinic for more than three weeks now, which had served her mainly to purify her body of harmful substances and start a new type of therapy; this marked the beginning of another long journey made of medical care but also of psychological support.  
It was Y/N's mother who contacted him and asked him to attend that meeting. A sort of couple therapy, if they wanted to be honest.  
Norman had accepted without even thinking about what was better or worse. He had just done it and now that he was in there, he began to regret it.

The doctor nodded without looking up.  
"Y/N, do you also thinks he can make you feel better while he is here?"

The woman took some time to answer.   
Norman saw that she was biting her fingernails and was wrapped in the smoke of her cigarette.  
"I asked for it...", she answered finally in an uncertain voice.

Norman was surprised at the obviousness of that sentence, which in reality for him had nothing to take for granted. He didn't know that Y/N had asked to see him, he thought it was a decision by her mother.

"Yes, you asked because... So you want to  
tell Norman why?"

"Because of our daughter..."

It was a sharp answer, which made him feel a little sick. It was obvious that that was their daughter's good but in a corner of his heart Norman had hoped it was for the feelings she still felt for him.

"Norman, the child lives with you now, right?"

The man nodded.

"And you gave up working to take care of her personally?"

"I only moved some commitments... I think she has already undergone enough changes in the last time. Then there's the nanny and Y/N's mother. In short, we're trying not to let her miss her mother too much."

He cast a fleeting glance in the direction of the woman, who was staring at the carpet, fighting back tears while the analyst's voice continued calmly.  
"Y/N told me about your quarrel about your daughter..."

Norman immediately raised his tone.  
"It was a mistake... I repeated it a thousand times. I exaggerated... I drank... I didn't do it for months... And so did she... Y/N knows it very well, it was not my intention to tell her that she is a bad mother!"

"But Y/N now thinks she is."

The man turned to his patient, inciting her talk but it seemed that she preferred to leave it to him to expose his thoughts.  
Norman put his hand to his head, pulling back his hair in his usual nervous gesture.

"And... She has always had headaches since the birth of the child. Indeed, even earlier! Y/N always thought she wouldn't be able to take care of her. But it doesn't make any sense... So far she has always done it! Do you think I would have left her alone for months with our daughter, if I had feared that she is not a good mother?", he concluded, looking her directly but got no response.

Y/N just kept moving her leg; she was about to explode but something seemed to hold her back and Norman wondered if by chance it wasn't the new therapy, to which they were subjecting her.

"So you never thought about taking the baby away for this reason?"

"No! I was not myself... I wanted her to come back! Her old self! I've been there too... I've seen people ruin themselves! I know what it means to be unable to do anything, to be dependent on something to the point of losing touch with reality and with the people we love most. I didn't want her to end like that too..."

His voice died away in the silence of the room. He didn't want to talk about himself, but especially he didn't want to talk about that nicht.

"Are you talking about people you loved?"

Norman looked up at the therapist. He struggled to find the right words.  
"No... I mean... I met several people in my life..."

The look he received as an answer was clearer than any other word: The problem was not his moments of self-destruction, the problem was that story, which seemed to repeat itself endlessly and with worse and worse results.  
First there had been his Ex-Wife, who had suffered terribly from their divorce, so much so that they said he was the problem and the cause of her depression and anorexia. Then his Ex girlfriend, who, despite now appearing to live a new life, had obvious problems following their breakup. It seemed that every important woman in his life ended up suffering so much, that they had to resort to shelters to get back on their feet. He still could not understand what was wrong with him or in the choice of his women, he only knew that he had spent his life feeling guilty about these people and now he could not bear that even Y/N had fallen into an even more abyss dark. He loved her, he hadn't left her.  
He pleaded with the therapist, hoping that he would not continue on that path but to the great surprise of both men, it was Y/N's voice that interrupted that silence.

"But it wasn't the same! Why don't you understand it? I... I had no other choice!"  
The desperate note in her low voice was the most heartbreaking thing Norman had ever heard by now.

"Y/N, why not try to explain to Norman why you had no choice?"

It was important that she did it, it was important that she talked to the man once and for all. It had taken weeks for her to abandon that shell, in which she had hidden herself from the night of the accident.  
Y/N seemed to think about it for a few seconds, as if she regretted opening her mouth. It was difficult to be in front of Norman now and she felt trapped in the eyes of the two men.

"I... I was sick! I had no idea what was happening to me! The headaches were getting stronger... And the tears, the feedings... I couldn't sleep at all, Norman. I couldn't even get up to change her clothes without feeling like dying... Andd then all those camera flashes... Those eyes... It always felt so wrong with her by my side... Towards everyone! I knew I was ruining you, I knew you were ashamed of me... You were all ashamed of what I had become! And you? You did nothing but repeat to me how happy and proud I must be... While I just wanted to stop with everything!"

Y/N put her hand to her head, as if the pain had returned.  
Norman already knew all those things, he had read them, he had talked about them every single day with Y/N's doctors but it was the first time that those words came directly from the woman's mouth.  
Now the doctor's voice continued with the same inflection as before.

"Okay Y/N, you were feeling sick and you had the impression that nobody understood you?"

"No... No, I didn't want them to understand. I didn't want... I didn't want them to think I wasn't able to... I mean, what was I supposed to do? I was just afraid of disappointing them, it seemed to me that everyone expected this from me."

"Who? Who did you expect this from, in your opinion?"

Y/N quit the cigarette with a nervous gesture and threw out the last cloud of smoke.  
"I don't know... All of them... Him, my mother... People out there..."

"So you were afraid of disappointing Norman?"

Norman closed his eyes for a moment, biting his lips to not intervene. How could she think such nonsense?

Y/N seemed to have taken confidence now.  
"I don't know... Yes... I think so, in short, he is one of the the most desired man on this planet! I still remember as if it were yesterday when I had seen his pictures in some magazines... And then? Do we want to talk about my mother? The perfect woman who gave birth to a daughter and even gave up her career to raise her in her hometown! 

And me? I'm nothing like that... Nothing! And then there was Orlando, who had done so much for me... And Jeffrey, Hillary, so many people..."  
Y/N's eyes seemed to get mad while she gestured with those words.

"Okay. Then let's talk about Norman's Ex who you met back then."  
The doctor had taken the opportunity to investigate the problem that remained unresolved.

"There is nothing to say..."

Y/N raised her hands, as if drawing a supernatural creature in the air before her and Norman couldn't help himself this time.

"Still with this story? I'm done with her, period! You've always had this sort of competition against her, but why? I tried almost every way to make you understand that you don't need to worry... But it doesn't make any sense how you still react, you know?"  
He couldn't bear to talk about that topic.

"Doesn't it make sense now? Didn't it make sense to compare myself to her every time I took a step?"

Norman realized that they had already done that speech, just before their daughter was born.

"Norman, don't you think you have fed Y/N somehow fears about motherhood?"

"No! I don't... I don't know!", he sighed, declaring himself defeated. What did he expect him to say?  
"Maybe... Yes, it may be that I talked too much about my Ex. I never thought Y/N would be a worse mother than my Ex-Wife! I would never have had a child with her, if I'd think that!"

"You would've never wanted it anyway, if it hadn't happened by mistake..."

The woman's words forced Norman to stop. He closed his eyes, his jaw tightening before speaking.  
"It wasn't a mistake!", he sighed, looking down at his own hands so as not to cross the woman's eyes, who was now resentful.

"I didn't say it was a mistake... I said it happened by mistake! We didn't want it to happen. Neither of us."

"Then why did you keep it!"

The man turned to her, visibly angry. He saw her slightly widen her eyes at those words, before a grimace of disdain was painted on her face.

"How can you ask me such a thing?"

Norman shifted on the couch, settling himself towards her and talking to her directly, as if the doctor no longer existed.

"Because you wanted it too! Y/N admit it, we wanted it to happen! We are no longer two little Kids... We took the risk, that's what we did! Did you really think I'd turn my back on you as soon as we both found out? The truth is that you have decided everything, as always. You decided to keep it and if the set hadn't collapsed, maybe you would have even decided to leave without telling me shit! And that's the trust you had in me!"

Things were coming up that he thought were now buried, things that had been overshadowed by fear, love and the joy of fatherhood.

"Yeah! I didn't trust you, that's fine! How could I have anyway? Have you ever saw me with your crazy Ex girlfriend? Or have you ever tried to imagine how I felt while I saw you together after what had happened between us?"

Y/N was about to cry with anger but she couldn't collapse, she couldn't do it again, not now.

"I thought you were engaged! I thought I was an just an affair or something like that!"  
Norman still couldn't believe he was reproaching those things after so long.

"So much about trusting each other.", the woman smiled bitterly, looking at the doctor, who kept writing.

"What confidence did I have? You disappeared and hid the pregnancy for how long? Two months? No, more... And what did you plan to do? Would you have told me through your lawyer? Or maybe you would have gone away and I would have discovered it by reading the newspapers... Who knows, maybe as stupid as I am, I would have also sent you flowers with my most sincere wishes. Why Y/N? Why do you always have to behave this way? Fuck these situations! I was about to lose one of the best things in my life just because of your damn anxiety!"

Y/n remained silent, swallowed and closed her eyes, unable to continue.  
Norman on his part was struggling to sit still and he felt the anger that slowly subsided after the outburst.  
They remained silent for a few minutes, it seemed that no one had anything more sensible to say, while the doctor's voice was lower when he started talking again.

"Y/N... If I remember correctly, in the last session you told me that you were afraid of losing her... Your daughter. Was this probably one of the reasons you didn't want to tell Norman right away?"

Y/N frowned slightly as she shook her head decisively.  
"It wasn't... Yet there was his Ex girlfriend..."

"Yes, Norman had begun to meet another woman... But this would have been secondary, if you had not been convinced that you could not carry out your pregnancy, wouldn't it?"

"I... I had the usual problems..."

The doctor continued calmly: "So what you told me is not the truth? You did not hid the pregnancy from Norman, because you thought that if you lost the baby, would ruin his love life?"

The inflection on the last word startled Norman, he felt as if a huge knot had clenched to his stomach.

"I... No... I mean, my doctor... He hadn't been very positive at the beginning and I was afraid to raise it without the security of-...", Y/N stopped, realizing she was babbling. She caught her breath, bracing herself and continued: "I didn't know how Norman would react to the news, I didn't even know what he thought of what had happened between us! In short, he could very well tell me that I had been an escape affair and that he had done it on purpose! I would have questioned everything, our relationship, our work... I was afraid he would tell me that I am a liar... I was afraid of not being strong enough."

"If things had gone wrong, plus your health problems, would you have felt NOT strong enough to the situation? Which is, NOT to be strong enough to being the mother of Norman's son?"

"Not his son..."

"-...of any son!", the doctor finished his sentence.

Y/N looked down, bringing a hand to her forehead and rubbing her eyes, to hide her tears.

"Why don't you think you can play that role, Y/N? Where does all this insecurity come from?"

They all knew why and they also knew that Y/N would never blame her mother, her being famous, and her privileged relationship with her parents at all. The same choice to follow in their footsteps was a clear symptom of what she probably harbored in her mind since forever, to be as good as her parents.  
Norman now realized that she was no longer talking about him.  
It seemed impossible that a mother could have such an effect on her daughter's mind. He and his parents had not always had the most idyllic relationship, but he was absolutely convinced that their influence on him had been positive. Perhaps only because he had already passed that stage, which instead for Y/N was still uphill.

"She knows that she is a good mother, doesn't she?"

Silence.

"Y/N?", Norman urged, seeing her hesitating.

"I want to... But no, I am not..."  
She froze, shaking her head again, just like the morning she asked him to leave.

"Is it because of what happened some weeks ago?"

"I don't want to talk about it.", was the woman's dry response.

The doctor knew all too well that Y/N was still very sensitive on that point. He turned to Norman directly this time.

"You see Norman, Y/N thinks it wasn't an accident and that she caused the abortion."

"I know...", he replied, muttering just those two syllables.

"But what about you? What do you think?"

"Me? You already know what I think about it. I feel as guilty as her... I exaggerated, I shouldn't have let her go... I shouldn't have told her those things..."

Y/N now interrupted him, her voice sounding exasperated in the silence of the room.  
"But... I literally drugged myself so much that-...", she  
hesitated for a moment.

"So you did it again. You excluded Norman because you felt inadequate for him."

"No. No!"  
The woman jumped to her feet, trying to keep relaxed, but failed.  
"I didn't exclude him... I didn't exclude him from anything! I can not do that. I don't want to talk about it!"

"Why Y/N? Why don't you feel you are the right woman for Norman? Or is it his Ex girlfriend?"

"Stop it!"

Y/N had her hands on her head again, this time not from the pain in her temple, but probably not to realize what the doctor was saying, urging her with increasing insistence and decision.

"Or because you are not like your mother?"

Norman had the instinct to get up to approach her, seeing her so upset.  
It was as if Y/N did not want to let the therapist's voice in, as if she were denying to herself that he was right.

"No. Stop! I won't stay in here a minute longer!"

It was obvious what had happened. Y/N slipped through the door and ran away.  
She wouldn't get out of the clinic but Norman was equally shocked. By now he had seen her in all the physical and psychological states but he had the feeling that the forced enclosure brought to the surface problems too great to understand, even for him. Y/N felt like a terrible broken woman because she had failed to protect their child; she felt like a bad mother because she wasn't like her own mother... But above all she had the assurance that he, Norman, thought the same.

That therapy session had served to clarify, perhaps to get to know each other better, but certainly not to start over.


	51. Chapter 48

"I have to admit that I miss New York City a bit: The yellow and orange leaves, the smell of freshly baked cupcakes..."

"Yes of course... And that sometimes eternal drizzle, which will literally whip through your face!"

"You're always the same!", Y/N said and stopped in front of a small kiosk, which sold ice cream.

"What do you say, sweetpea? Do we want some nice ice cream?", Orlando lowered himself to the level of the stroller, from which the little girl answered him with a series of sounds, from the not yet recognizable meaning. He paid for both ice-creams and together they sat on a bench, which looked to the seafront.

"You're still in time for the autumn leaves if you want... It's just September!"  
The man dropped that sentence, already knowing Y/N's answer.

"Yes, I know..."

He saw her look down only an instant, to return to concentrating on her daughter's bib.

"You're already feeling better... You'll have to start living again."

Y/N smiled for yet another encouragement from the man and hesitated, before starting talking again.  
"I don't know... I am not sure... So many things have happened... I don't know if I'm ready!"

"Of course you are... You should start in New York again, in your world. You have passed the hard part, you are out now! Completely out!"

Whoever had seen them at that moment, would have mistaken them for a couple of lovers, or rather for a perfect family, one of those of advertisements. Instead they were none of this.  
Y/N was out of the clinic only since a few days and after almost two months of isolation, she was dealing with the real world again.  
It had been difficult weeks. Intense weeks of solitude, marked only by medical checks and meetings with psychologists and neurologists of all kinds. Weeks of very strong headaches and apathy, which kept her away from her family and that led her to reflect at length on herself and her choices.  
Norman seemed light years away now, and had it not been for their sporadic contact of separated parents, their streets would probably be separated forever.

"Yes... I'm feeling better. But who tells you that I am still able to do so? It seems to me impossible to get back to achive my goals now. The very thought makes me feel sick!"

"I know, you're right... But try to think of your whole life, you've always wanted to be an actress, you are an actress, Y/N! Don't give up now, you would make the same mistake your mother made and you would regret it!"

"And who tells you it was a mistake?"

"You! Every time you talk about it I see a devoted mother but also a woman, who has given up the dream of her life! Y/N, you've always run away from all this and you still have so much to prove! I know you're capable of it!"

Y/N looked down embarrassed. It was nice to know that someone had so much faith in her.  
They remained silent, lulled by the sound of the ocean.

"What is it?", the woman finally asked point-blank, interrupting that magical moment.

How many times did she find him staring at her with that unreadable look and how many times he pretended it's nothing.

"Nothing... But you're all dirty with chocolate!"

Y/N wiped her lips, laughing.  
"I'm worse than her! She's a real star already!"

The little girl burst out laughing, answering her mother's voice and the woman picked her up.

"Here we are... So will you stop making tantrums because you feel excluded?", she laughed and kissed her daughters little nose.

"Will you keep her this weekend?", the man asked, fiddling with the girls chubby little hand.

"Yes... Norman is busy on set and then he will start promoting the new season of The Walking Dead. I don't think he'll be back before next Saturday."

"And are you okay with it?"  
Orlando didn't even know why he had to ask that question.

"Well... I'm sorry for my daughter. She hasn't seen her father in five days.m. And who knows how many more she'll spend without him. But we knew this would happen, Norman has postponed its commitments for months because of me...", she answered and printed a kiss on her daughter's head, then turning her gaze to the sea.

Orlando sighed, following her gaze.  
That was such a difficult situation: He and Y/N had become more and more united like in old times, probably something would have happened between them, if only she hadn't concluded the story with her daughter's father so little.  
The man knew that they would be very well together, her daughter loved him and Y/N was slowly letting herself go. But the shadow of the other actor continued to hang over them and especially him. Of course, Norman was almost always far away, and between him and the woman all that was left were the cold, occasional meetings because of the child, but how could he think that Y/N forgot such an important love from one day to the next?

"Orlando? What is it?", she decided to ask him again, sensing that the man didn't have the courage to go on.

"I just wondered if... Yeah well, if you're out now..."

"Do you want to know if I'm going to recover my relationship with Norman?"

"I just want to know if you miss it!", he concluded, a little ashamed for that demonstration of insecurity.

Y/N looked up and finally their eyes met, like a meeting between the sky and the sea, which seemed to blend in perfectly together.

"I would lie to you if I said that I can erase everything from one day to the next... But I am convinced of the decision I made. It was the only one that was possible..."

"That's what happened? It was because of the photos, right? I can't believe it yet..."

Y/N silenced him, continuing with a slight smile on her lips.  
"No! No, it's not because of that story... We were too deluded into thinking that it worked and now... Well, now everything is back in its place!"

Orlando saw her lower her face back to her child and felt his heart tighten. She was really convinced of those words.

"At least you have her now...", he said timidly, touching her daughters small hand.

"Yeah... I have her!", Y/N smiled and the wind ruffled throughher hair, partially hiding her face. Orlando couldn't help but put them away with a delicate gesture.  
Here it was, that was the moment he had been waiting for many years. Now they were only the two of them, their experiences, battles, suffering but also a lot of strength and of course, their friendship.

Y/N was the first to reduce the distance. And he answered gently, almost hesitantly.  
A romantic kiss, one of those that make you forget everything that happens around you. A long and tender kiss, interrupted by the screams of the child, who demanded their attention.  
They separated with embarrassment but also happiness.  
Yes, Y/N seemed finally serene and Orlando knew that it was also thanks to strength he always believed in.


	52. Chapter 49

"Y/N, let me explain..."

Norman looked in vain for her tear-stained eyes.  
But she remained silent on that bench, while their little daughters hands toyed with the fabric of her clothes.

"Y/N please, say something!"

He finally saw her blinking, as if she had only returned from another dimension. Norman wondered how much the medicines had that apathetic calm, which seemed to animate the woman.  
A few days had passed since their session with the psychologist and for the first time Y/N had agreed to see the child after weeks of solitude.  
Now they were there, in the middle of the huge hospital park and Norman felt as if that woman in front of him was a stranger. Her face was still hollow and pale and her eyes seemed empty, while she shook her head slightly.

An infinite moment had passed since his last question, when she finally decided to speak.  
"There's nothing to say... Never mind, Norman... It's okay..."

"It's okay? What does that mean? Never mind?"

The panic was taking hold of him, as he saw her shrug slightly, as if there really was nothing else to say.  
It had happened again: The photos of Johnny and his Ex girlfriend caught at dinner together, had already been around the world and only the common sense of doctors prevented her from seeing them before.  
Y/N had remained in the muffled environment of the clinic for all those days, but in the end it was her mother who decided it was right to let her know what was happening outside those four walls.  
Norman had begun to see his colleague again and it didn't matter if it was because of a moment of weakness.

"Y/N you can't really think that... Nothing happened between us. We were having dinner with friends and a thousand other people! Damn it! Your mother can't really believe that..."

"Don't scream! That won't help!"

Norman had never felt so lost as in those few weeks; Y/N had left him alone in a huge house, with a little girl still so small, whose mother was missing and who couldn't do anything but look for help.  
Like every time the help came from the people closest to him...  
It was not predictable, it was not even possible, but his Ex had been close to him like no other and it had been natural for him to end up venting his difficult situation and to seek comfort in her arms.

"I know it was wrong... I should have pushed her away! But what was I supposed to do? You excluded me from everything... We drank too much and everyone else went home! But absolutely nothing happened! Nothing! Try to understand, Y/N... I have no intention of throwing everything away! You are the person I love! You can't believe the bullshit of the newspapers... Not again!"

He certainly didn't expect that Y/N would welcome him with open arms, but neither would she ignore him that way. It was as if she just didn't care.

"Stop it, calm down Norman! You don't owe me any explanation... We both knew it would happen sooner or later."

"We knew? No! We didn't know anything at all... Nothing important happened!"

Y/N looked down at the gravel below her feet and brought her face close to her daughter's head, eagerly inhaling the scent of her hair.  
"It was already over between us..."

That said she got up, holding the girl tightly to her.

"And where are you going now?"

"Inside. It's time for a snack... Let's go!"  


"Mr. Reedus will not release any statements! Please stay behind the barriers!"

"Norman, are you there? Hello?"

His Ex's voice made him come back to reality. He looked around confused, as if he didn't remember why he was in the lobby of one of the most luxurious hotels in Berlin.  
It had been weeks now that he did nothing but think of that bench, that avenue full of centuries-old trees and the slow and sure steps with which Y/N had moved away from him. She had left him like that, without a tear, without a word of anger or blame for his umpteenth mistake and now that the days had passed and Y/N was out again, Norman tried to stay as far away from her as possible.  
He followed his bodyguard out of the hotel and the screams began to get louder.  
He made a couple of nods to the fans, who cheered him and let his Ex sit in the car, before sitting next to her.

"I thought it would be worse.", he said, lighting a cigarette.

His manager came in right after him and sat in the seat opposite the two actors', while his bodyguard took the seat next to the driver.

"Yes, we managed to stem the news by luck. Oh... Look here. Here we go again...", she said and showed him the blurred images on her tablet.

"What's that?", Norman asked and tried to focus them, without success.

"It's us, idiot!", his Ex teased him, giving him one of her biggest smiles.

"Well then...", he grumbled, unable to hide his disappointment. He hated all that chaos, he hated those stolen photos but at the same time he couldn't help it, the news of their backfire had traveled around the world and his Ex would never have forgiven him, if he had asked her to remain hidden again as in the beginning of their relationship.

"What's up? Nothing is seen!", the woman urged him with an amused laugh  
.  
"There could be peace once and for all. I don't understand what they want to look for yet... Now they have their gossip, don't they? We won't hide anymore!", his manager intervened, showing off her usual cynicism.

"Oh don't fool yourself... You know very well that they won't let you down so easily this time!"

Norman inhaled the smoke, letting it come out in a cloud from his nostrils.  
"Maybe they should think I have children at home."

"I guess you should think about that!"

The woman always got nervous when the man started making those speeches about privacy. Norman could show off a slightly hypocritical side of his character in those cases and he got on her nerves.  
The man didn't answer but looked out the window, before going back to fiddling with his colleagues fingers.  
His managers gaze was involuntarily attracted by that gesture full of complicity. Those two gave off sparks and she could only sit there and watch what she herself had helped to create.  
The paparazzi had set up a mammoth operation against Y/N, but now that things had gone so far, his manager herself wondered if she had acted in the best way. She, who hoped that Norman would finally look for support in her arms, had again been invisible next to the well-known actress. Now there she was, his Ex, satisfied and slightly bored, her hair honey-colored, which looked so much like hers only with fifteen years less than her. They both tolerated each other, but they certainly didn't like each other. The woman had been smart to be found in Norman's range of action just at the moment when he most needed a distraction. And as much as the man didn't want to admit it, that woman had always had a particular ascendancy over him.

Her sensual voice filled the silence, which had become heavy in the car.  
"What's up? Tell the truth... It's because of Y/N! Are you afraid she is going crazy again?"

"Why on earth? Y/N is doing great now!", Norman answered, showing a certain nervousness.

"Certainly more than you!"

That slightly allusive reaction made him mad.  
"What do you mean?", the man challenged her, turning surprised in her direction.

"She wasted no time and at this moment she probably is already ready to count the money that this whole story brought her..."

"What are you talking about? Do you have any idea what it meant to her?"

His Ex recognized that frown, only partially hidden by the blue lenses.

"Oh, poor little Y/N! Norman, can you please just stop it! Don't always make her be the victim. It was her who left you, she gave up on you as soon as you stopped making her feel comfortable!"

Those few words were enough to reopen the wound, which would never heal completely in the heart of the man.  
His manager immediately noticed his expression, that suffering was only hidden.  
It was the truth, Y/N had left him and this time, she had done it definitively; she had decided to expel him from her difficult path of healing and Norman hadn't known how to do anything but throw himself headlong back into work and into his old life.  
Anyone had the feeling that their story had only been a brief infatuation, resulting in an accident which was their daughter. Probably most of his fans still expected him to come back with Y/N at any moment, while the pictures of him and his Ex went crazy on the internet. The last year had taught Normam that he had no power to change things, so he had stopped fighting and let himself be lived, waiting to see his children again between one Jet Lag and another.

"Look... Now you don't talk anymore!", the woman retorted, knowing that the silence was a bad signal.

"What should I say? I have no desire to attend this party! It will be boring, they will have terrible champagne and I will probably also find someone who knows Y/N."

"There... There we go again! In the end everything always is about her!"  
His Ex was furious, while Norman was just annoyed by the woman's reaction.

"No! I only wish they would let me spend my evening in peace!

The car suddenly stopped and his bodyguard opened the door, inviting them to get out.  
His manager took one last look at the other page opened on the tablet and after a moment of hesitation, decided to go out. She already felt the crowd quivering at the arrival of their idol and the flashes of the cameras, which were firing furiously. Only then was she blocked by the grip of the well-known hand. One glance was enough to understand that Norman had seen everything.

"Give me that tablet!"

"No Norman, forget it! Come on, we're already late!"

"I told you to give me that tablet!"  
The man didn't listen to her and tore the monitor out of her hands.

'Y/N Y/L/N returns to love!', was shown on that page as the headline.

His blood froze in his veins, in front of those images on the seafront.  
Y/N and Orlando.  
Y/N, Orlando and his baby girl...  
He was surrounded by flashes and hands. He could hear the people screaming his name and he felt the presence of his bodyguard, who was waiting for him with a questioning look.

"So guys, what do we want to do? Get out of here!"

Those few meters cost him a lot of effort.  
He struggled, holding out his hand to his Ex, who radiant as always showed herself to the cameras in her magnificent dress.  
Norman stroked her back before taking her hand and proceeding like a machine towards the entrance.  
He could not clear his mind, nothing could make him get the image of the kiss between Y/N and Orlando Bloom out of his head. He felt like he had pushed them into each other's arms because of his behavior.  
He was jealous, he felt the urge to be in front of that man, to punch his face and His almost irresistible smile.  
But what could he do?  
He had got what he deserved, Y/N had given him back exactly what he had done to her.


	53. Author's Note

A/N: The chapters, scenes and parts which you will face from now on, will be slightly different; I will try to slowly throw light through the small cracks in the convictions of Norman and you, the reader... And it will be fundamental for the growth of the relationship...

~Kate


	54. Chapter 50

"Yes, but was it really necessary to be filmed?"

"I seem to hear my mother sister, Andy!"  
Y/N turned around, giving her colleague a smile of hers and walked away to the ladies' toilet.  
Andrew Lincoln. He watched her, until he saw her disappear around the corner and then sighed, settling into the large velvet armchair.

"When will she understands it...", he finally said with a tone full of bitterness as he shook his head.  
The silent gaze of his wife sitting in front of him told him that she thought the same way.

"Can she be more stupid than that?", Andy continued like a river, he just could not remain impassive in front of those images. The idea that Norman had already rebuilt a life with another woman made him indignant.  
He particularly loved Y/N; from their first meeting on the set of 'The Walking Dead' it was clear that they would be a close-knit couple, or a criminal association, as his wife liked to call them, when he saw them together.  
Many years had passed since the start of their first meeting but their sympathy had turned into a real friendship. He had been so happy when he had seen her with his other colleagues and was also happy to see her grow film by film and season by season. That woman had class, but she was also extremely funny and had brought out the most playful and childish part of her on set.  
Now that Y/N had returned to London for a short business trip, Andy and his wife, had taken the opportunity to find themselves all together.

"So Andy, do you want to stop it?", his wife glared at him and Andy stopped abruptly.  
It was a rather bizarre scene: Andrew stared at his friend, who gave no sign of wanting to intervene and finally broke out.

"Is it possible that you have nothing to say? He had the courage to come back with that woman!"

The impassive expression of the man made her get mad.  
"I mean, would you ever do something like that?"

His wife looked up, almost bored.  
"What should I say in your opinion? No... Neither I nor you would do it! But things are different here and I don't think it's good to re-open old wounds!"

Andrew leaned back in his chair, nodding his head at the laptop still open on the table. The last thing Y/N needed was their compassion for the sad fate of her love life.

"And what should we do then? Should we ignore it and talk about this and that?"

"You know very well what to do..."

Andrew suddenly changed his attitude and quickly shut the small pc, seeing Y/N approaching with a tray full of sweets.

"Here I am... You could hire me as a waitress, what do you say? I will have an assured career, when Hollywood will throw me away!"

Both Andy and his wofe tried to smile, making room for them on the table in front of them.

"Please Andrew, take that compassionate look off your face now!", she finally concluded, settling back in her own chair now.

"My... What? Oh no, Y/N! What are you talking about?", he immediately put himself on the defensive, straightening up in his chair.

"Come on, you can see a mile away that you're still mulling over that gossip. But who cares?"

His wife raised an eyebrow with the half smile of someone who already expected that reaction and Andrew answered with a grunt of defeat.  
"What can I do? I worry about you, that's all! I know you are feeling better now, but don't we want to talk about what happened just a couple of months ago?"

"It's the past... Really!"

Y/N tried to look calm, even though she knew it wasn't all that convincing.

"Well... It may be, but remember that you are not a machine to which you just need to reset the memory! And honestly I thought Norman had a little more sensitivity!", Andy's wife intervened with her usual calm, the one that Andy was particularly annoyed from.

"Come on... This is not about sensitivity! You know how they do it... The gossip, the paparazzi. If you are Norman Reedus or if you go with Norman Reedus, you already know you can't escape. It's part of the complete package!"

He took a sip of his coffee, without fussing too much.  
"Yes, Andy is right... Norman is always in the eye of the storm. It becomes difficult to hide anything for him. And then what is there to hide again? Him and his Ex? Come on, who are we kidding? I always knew it would happen... If I hadn't been so naive, maybe I would have even avoided putting myself in this huge mess!", Y/N answered and Andy couldn't believe his ears.

"Huge mess? But how can you talk like that? Look here!"  
He snapped his laptop open again, moving it in the direction of his friend. Norman and his Ex were together again on who knows what beach and, judging by the date reported, it must have happened even before Y/N came out of the hospital.  
His wife did not even give Y/N time to focus on those images, which had already brought the computer closer to her, preventing her from looking.

"That's enough! Nobody cares what Reedus does or who does it. We are here to spend time together... Who knows, we might even come up with something good from our three empty heads!"

The woman smiled at him, grateful for that gesture and his wife also gave up, realizing that her husband was as worried as she was, even if in his own way.

"Well... Then what does your empty head propose?", he asked point-blank, already knowing very well what his colleague was talking about.

"Oh, nothing... But the Angela Kang wanted to contact me for a project to throw out next year..."

He paused for effect, to create the famous suspense.

"Movies guys! Three movies!"

His wife burst into laughter.  
"You three?"

"Of course! We'll be hilarious... Wait to hear the idea! It's brilliant... As soon as she told me about it I immediately thought of you. Take a look here..."

From the nothingness three small books of thickly written pages came out.  
Y/N quickly scanned the lines, before deciding to put on some glasses.  
It was nice to recognize that thrill of excitement, which always came at the time of a new proposal. She had missed it so much that she didn't even remember the effect it was creating.

"But then... I would be the bad one again there?"  
Y/N's Y/E/C eyes seemed to have darkened.  
"I'm tired of being the bad one, even Negan got better. My character improved so much and now since my character is missing in the show you want me to be bad again while I search with Michonne for Rick?"

"Hey... I think it's a nice role... Your character would definitely evolve all over again!"

"Well, that actually sounds good and interesting too... Then we should start immediately! You should call Angela! I'll see you at dinner tonight so we can decide the details!"

Both of them turned to Andy's wife, waiting for a reply.  
The woman looked down, her eyes still on the script.  
Now that things were getting more concrete, Y/N was afraid. It had been more than a year since she set foot on a movie set and she wasn't sure if she could do it again, from one day to the next and with a show like that.  
The two faces, who now looked at her confidently, told her that she could do it and that the proposal was already in the air for some time, more than they wanted her to believe. They were doing it for her, to help her get out of the tunnel she was being in and that, given the media implications, would have been difficult to overcome.  
But they were sincere friends even before they were colleagues and they were showing it to her without much fuss, forcing her to get back in the saddle.

Y/N nodded with a slight embarrassment.

"Oh finally! You won't regret it!"

Andrew couldn't hide his satisfaction. Who knows how long the two of them were concocting those movies.

"Yes, but I can't move There... I've already spent too much time away from my daughter!"  
She put her hands forward to make sure the work didn't sacrifice her relationship with her daughter.

"There will be no need... Prepare your bags Y/N, Georgia is waiting for us!"

Andy raised his cup of coffee, offering a toast.

"The Walking Dead!", he merely said, shifting his gaze to both his wife and his friend.  
Y/N had nodded and now not only did she smile, but make the audience smile again too, waiting for her impatiently. They could bet on this.


	55. Chapter 51

"Congratulations!"

The bodyguard walked past her and her voice was barely perceptible in the confusion of the hall.

"Why?", she replied, not sure If the man could hear her.

As expected, he was already far away with his hand on the earpiece and was talking to someone about security.  
There was no need to answer, Y/N knew very well what the bodyguard was referring to: She had had the guts that night. She had decided to go back to the big stage and had done so by facing one of the most difficult challenges: A world premiere of a new film with Jeffrey and his wife Hilarie together would be an opportunity to show everyone that, despite having tried, that they hadn't been able to break her down.  
But this time there was no Norman beside her.  
They could see it now, just a few meters away, while she was besieged by photographers in front of the room where the release party was held.  
No, it was not easy to say yes, it was not easy even to face Norman and argue that they would both find themselves in an embarrassing situation and above all, it was not easy to get out of that car alone, knowing that he would come to the side of another woman.  
They had avoided looking at each other for most of the evening, deliberately ignoring the screams of the photographers and even now, trying to keep their distance so as not to be forced to prove anything to anyone.

"Champagne Miss Y/L/N?"  
A well-groomed hand handed her a glass of champagne.  
Y/N smiled, recognizing the unmistakable voice of the man.

Andrew gave her one of his complicit smiles, then glanced towards the entrance.  
"So, how's it going?"

Y/N looked down again, she should have said it was all right.  
"Well... I mean it's a great movie, don't you think? I am glad you did it. Even though I still think it would be time for you to move to the side of Rick Grimes again."

The smile that replied was sweeter and less amused than Y/N wanted.

"I meant how are you?"

This time she was taken aback and seemed to look for an answer.  
"I... Well... I think I'll have to go easy on the champagne."

Andy stood before her, completely covering her view.  
"I know it's hard... But you did the right thing to come, believe me!"

"That was what I thought too until a few hours ago... But now I don't know..."

"Now what? We are here... We have fun, we all know... And to tell you Y/N, you also have a fairy tale knight and my wife is gonna be your guardian angel.", he finally said, adjusting his tuxedo jacket with a proud and laughing look.

"I didn't know I had a knight?"

"But how? And just so you know, I also left the horse in the second row, so as not to make you wait!"

This time Y/N stood on tiptoe and hugged him gratefully.  
"Thanks Andy... Thanks a lot!"

He smiled, holding out his arm with a stiff gesture.

"I don't understand, you are both here and you come here in two different ways... What's the point?"

"Drama!"

Y/N smiled at him with sincere gratitude.  
She and Andrew had met back then only some time before on the set of 'The Walking Dead' and she was still convinced that he was one of the purest and most genuine men she had ever known.  
Y/N was so happy to see him again, his smile always managed to put her in a good mood, as well as his jokes in bad taste.

"Come on now, throw down the drink and let's have fun. I'm tired of these long faces!"

She barely had time to finish her champagne before her friend dragged her towards the center of the room where his wife was already smiling at her.

"You're completely crazy!", she tried to protest as her eyes caught Norman's eyes, who had just entered the room and was watching her in turn.  
She hastened to divert attention from him, feeling like a clumsy girl: When would she stop getting that damn heart-pounding feeling every time she saw him?

"What?", the man shouted, trying to get over the music.

"I said you're crazy!"

This time Andrew just burst into a loud laugh and hugged her, leading her into a pirouette towards his wife.

"Don't you know that I'm a great dancer?"

"Of course I know."

Y/N realized she was a little stiff. She felt all eyes on her, as if the dance floor had emptied and a huge reflector was aimed at her and her friends. She hated being in the spotlight so much, especially if it happened under the frown of her ex.  
But what could she do? The room was packed with people, there was no beam of light and Andrew and his wife were trying hard to make her forget what was happening.  
She had to put it in her head once and for all: She wasn't necessarily Norman Reedus' ex... She was Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N!  
  
  
  
  
"What are they doing?"

That sentence came out like an indistinct grumble.

"I'm not sure... Dancing? Yes, I'd say they're dancing!", Jeffrey replied, raising himself slightly on his toes, before moving motionless beside him with his hands in his pockets and that ironic expression on his face.

"I can see that. Thanks..."

"It's okay. I find it good. Norman it's Andy..."

"Yes... I know..."

Norman looked away annoyed by the woman's smile and took a glass of champagne from one of the trays, to swallow it in one gulp.

"Hey... Take it easy! This is only at the beginning of the evening!"

His friend's gaze was a mixture between being amused and being curious and Norman could not stand it right now. He merely grimaced with disgust.

"Ugh."

"I thought you didn't like champagne that much?"

"Yeah... I need something stronger!", he replied, putting his hands in his pockets and doing the act of approaching one of the bar counters.

"Now I recognize you... Hey Norman... Let her have fun, don't spoil it!"

Norman's expression grew even darker as he turned back to his best friend.  
"Ruin what? Why does everyone start with the assumption that I always have to ruin something? Isn't it possible for her to do it for once? To ruin something?"

He glared at him and Jeffrey knew he'd better let the subject drop. It would never pass...  
Norman left him and headed for one of the counters, trying not to look at the now very crowded dance floor. Yet Y/N's smile could not escape his attention even for a second.

"What? Do you want to leave already?", his Ex had approached, leaning against his side with an intriguing smile wrapped in her dark blue dress.

"I think I'll get a whiskey first. Do you want something too, Babe?"

He placed a kiss on her lips and she pulled away smiling. She was surprised that Notman didn't want to hide anymore, after months of keeping their relationship a secret. But he seemed anxious to show it to the rest of the world... Or maybe just to Y/N?  
She followed the man's gaze and recognized her there in the middle of the room, in the arms of the charming colleague.

"And you're worried about her again..."

Norman immediately turned around, looking almost guilty for being discovered.  
The woman immediately noticed that change of mood and continued to tease him, knowing that she would do nothing but irritate him even more.

"It bothers you, doesn't it? I can see it in your face..."

She saw him squeeze his glass and take a deep breath, before answering her with all the calm he was capable of.  
"And what makes you think it so annoys me? We have just arrived and I am getting a drink..."

"Exactly... You are getting a drink... It is clear that something is bothering you..."  
The woman turned around, turning her back to the counter and scanning the crowd.  
Norman felt incredibly under pressure from the woman's sly look.  
What was she trying to prove?

He didn't care what Y/N did, nor did he care that she was having fun, letting herself be guided by one of his best friends. But of course he was in love with his Ex again, he was happy to be able to live their story again and everything else didn't matter.  
He ended up yielding, addressing his companion in an involuntarily angry tone.

"Come on, stop staring..."

At those words, the woman blurted out.  
"There is not only her in this room, Norman! Enough, I got tired of this conversation!"

He saw her pick up the tiny handbag, before walking away with her provocative pace.  
As expected, it took two seconds before he saw her all smiling, next to a colleague. By now he knew her enough to understand that she was provoking him, she had always done it, it was her weapon, which she had used since their first departure and Norman had to admit it: It worked.

The umpteenth song ended and Y/N approached the bar with a warm face and a radiant smile.  
Norman had the instinct to run away but a sudden hold on his arm forced him to remain still.

"You are certainly not the portrait of happiness, my dear! And yet it was a success... Did you see them?", Hilarie had reached him just then and looked slightly shining.

"I'm just a little tired, that's all!"

"Tired? Already? Oh look..."

He saw her leaning over the bar to get into another actresses gaze, who was ordering a few meters ahead.  
Norman hoped to himsef in a low voice, hoping that a chasm opened up under his feet and made him disappear. Yet it was too late.

"Hilar, honey!"  
Y/N's voice was approaching dangerously and he had no choice but to turn in her direction. He saw the two women hugging each other warmly.

"Y/N, you look absolutely perfect! Look at you! How happy I am to see you again, I feared that you would stay away from us this evening too!"

Norman tried to smile, catching her magnetic gaze as she warmly embraced Hilarie again.

"Hey, hello Norman!"

Norman looked down at the outstretched hand and took a few seconds to make up his mind.

"Of course, hello Andy..."

"Enough with these formalities... Come on Andy, Jeffrey has an interesting proposal to talk to you about too. I'm convinced you'll like it!", she concluded, glancing at those present.

"Hilarie!"  
Y/N's Y/E/C eyes implored her to stay.

"What? We'll come back in a minute..."

Her friend spread her arms in surrender, while she was already dragging him away.  
Norman looked around, torturing his chin. That situation was too embarrassing and he had no idea how to get out of it. Fortunately they were at a strictly private party and there were no paparazzi flashes to document that bad time.

"Miss Y/L/N!"  
The waiter handed a glass to the woman, showing an excessive courtesy.

Norman answered, throwing his whiskey down in one gulp.  
"What is it?", he finally asked, pointing to the transparent cocktail in which a lemon peel floated.

It was the barman who answered him, even before Y/N removed her lips from the edge of the glass.

"A special Martini, Sir... Three pieces of Gordon's, one of vodka and half of Lillet Blanc, shaken with ice and with the addition of a thin lemon peel!"

Norman looked surprised over his glass, hearing the woman laughing.

"You remembered everything?"

"Sure Madame. How could I forget!"

Norman meanwhile was sick of the man's tone. What did he think he was doing? He looked like he was showing his feathers like a peacock.

"Do you want to taste it?"  
Y/N's voice surprised him.

"No thanks. I think I'll continue with a beer..."  
He pulled back his hair, straightening himself against the counter.  
"So... Now do you even have a cocktail, which bears your name?"

His eyes could not settle on her, which remained beside him sipping on her vodka martini.

"I would say it's more like a average cocktail..."

He saw her take another sip of the concoction and realized that she too was agitated.

"Hey... I'd go slow with that stuff if I were you!"

"Shut up... It's light...", the woman hesitated, turning the lemon peel, before looking up at him again.

"Well, congratulations for the film you're working on. It's really spectacular, I think our daughter will love it when she sees it!"

Norman looked away with a certain embarrassment, sinking his lips into the foam of his beer.

"You think so?"

"Oh yes... It's true..."

They stood in silence for a few moments, looking around confusedly. They felt like two teenagers at a high school party, of those who stand in the corner without having the courage to make any move.  
Norman now decided to interrupt that moment of tension.

"And your man isn't there tonight?"

"Who, my father? No, he went with mom back Home... He couldn't stay away from his family this weekend again."

Norman cleared his throat and looked up at the bottle, which the bartender was handling expertly.  
"No, I meant Bloom."

He was always a little annoyed at that name, as if Orlando had stabbed him in the back.

"Oh no... It's not really his kind of evening!"

"Too normal for him? Or what?"

The silence fell again between them, leaving only the notes of the music and the voices of the people to fill it.

"So... How's it going with the shoot? Nicotero said you are always busy."

"Yes. We don't have much time but maybe it's better this way... I missed the set... You know, waking up at five in the morning."

Y/N immediately regretted having said those words. She didn't want to open up with him, she hadn't done it for months and she had no intention of appearing vulnerable. She would have liked to interrupt that conversation immediately but she didn't want to be uncivilized and above all she felt that her feet didn't want to move. It was as if a huge magnet kept her anchored to that damn bar.

"Yes, I understand you! Hours of make-up... Costume rehearsal... Lights...", he smiled, knowing all too well how absurd that part of their work was, too. Finally he became more serious and decided to look at her.

"I'm glad you decided to start over. The TV's and cinemas need you..."

It was a compliment. A huge compliment, especially when told by a man like Norman Reedus.  
Y/N felt his blue eyes resting on her and did not have the courage to meet them, overcome by embarrassment.  
"Well... Thanks! In fact, there's always a need for bad acting women like me!"  
A nervous laugh came out and she took another sip of her cocktail.

"You know I think-..."

Now Norman was talking to her as a colleague and it was his fantastic personality full of charisma and sensitivity, which made him so unique.  
Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to be so damn perfect, despite all that had happened between them?

Suddenly the bodyguard's big hand landed on her shoulder just then.

"Great dancing! You should take a couple of lessons from her, Norman!"

"No, you will never convince me... I won't dance!", Norman smiled. Both were relieved by the arrival of the bodyguard, who had saved them from that moment perhaps too intimate.

"No, forget it! I think they all tried... Not even Jeffrey did it!"

"Oh, thank you!"

Norman looked down, feeling uncomfortable.  
For a moment, only for a moment, that situation had brought him back to the moments of happiness of the past, when he, Y/N and his friends still found themselves in the garden or even in the car, joking like eight-year-old children. It had been a fleeting and terribly melancholy feeling, the moment he realized that instead everything was different. They were no longer the same people.

"Now I think I'm going to save Andy, before Jeffrey and Hilarie drain him with all their talk. Good continuation and have fun."

"To you too..."


	56. Chapter 52

He hadn't been able to resist for the first time.  
The camera flashes made that scene even more surreal, the whole audience was pretty fast now to run to the stage and wait for yet another memorable Anthrax concert with their friend Norman who will play the bass again.  
Y/N desperately looked for Andy and found him sitting in a corner with Jeffrey and a mug of beer, from which he would certainly not have separated to run to his aid.

"Come on, don't just stand there!"

Hilarie picked her up and dragged her closer to the show.  
She was doing it on purpose, she knew all too well the effect that Norman made on that stage and it was certainly no coincidence that neither she nor Jeffrey had given the slightest hint of the concert.  
The music started and with it a roaring play of lights, which blinded her. Smoke, lights and deafening music... And yes, maybe some more Martinis too.  
Norman was shining up there, he seemed to become one with his bass guitar and the notes that emanated from his fingers seemed to her like many little sparks.  
Y/N stood there, motionless, with her arms to her chest and an involuntarily rapt air, when those two very blue eyes pierced right through her.

She made her way to the counter and the usual bartender served her yet another Martini, without needing to ask her anything. She didn't have to drink, but had Norman left her any other choice?  
His Ex was right under the stage and she was eating him with her eyes, while her every move seemed to hypnotize the crowd. Suddenly the whole place had become just her place and all eyes could not get away from her and those irresistible atmosphere.  
Or maybe it was just Y/N's eyes, which couldn't get away from her?  
She leaned against the counter, feeling her head spinning and the distorted sound of the bass guitar getting louder.

"Hey... Someone exaggerated!"  
Jeffrey's voice reached her.

"Okay honey, I think it's time for a good night's sleep!", Andy meanwhile said, holding her with a groan.

"But no... I am not sleepy..."  
The thick sounding voice said exactly the opposite, while Y/N let herself be lifted up and carried into the room adjacent to it, holding the glass half empty between her fingers.  
Jeffrey managed to save his shoes before it fell to the ground and ordered a bottle of water, following the two actors.  
It was then that his gaze and that of Norman crossed.  
He knew him enough, he knew his friend wanted to leave the song in half and jump off the stage to see what was going on. But he was stuck up there and the screams of the audience left no room for those thoughts.  
His friend replied with a nod and disappeared behind the door.  
Norman swore inside himself, hoping that no one had noticed that moment of defiance and perhaps for the first time in his life, he prayed that everything would end quickly.  
It took him another hour before he could fulfill his wish.  
He was sweaty, exhausted, he had a terrible thirst and above all he was dying to know what was happening in that room.  
He knocked on the door and it was Hilarie who opened it. She looked a little brighter than he had left her, you could tell by the sleepy glow of her eyes. She held a small bottle of water in her hand and a lit cigarette in the other.

"Everything okay in here?"

He tried to peek inside the dim room, but he found himself facing Jeffrey's imposing figure.

"Yes Norman, it's okay... Great performance! Wait until I reach you, we have to go back to other guests."  
Having said that, Jeffrey came out trying to close the door behind him to keep him out, but Norman rebelled.

"Hey No... I want to know what you're doing in here!"

Hilarie, for her part, offered no resistance and threw open the door, beneath her companion's consternation.  
"Oh nothing, join us... We were making a hangover party! I really believe that Y/N actually won the first prize!"

He entered and immediately and recognized Y/N, huddled on a black sofa with laddered stockings and her hair loose, which hid her face. Norman approached her, pulling them away from her forehead.

"But what did you gave her?"

"We? Look, she did it all by herself!"

"Oh perfect... And where did her 'knight' go?"

Norman was furious, Andy seemed to have vanished into nothingness and left her unconscious on that couch.

"He got home, he too has a family and he also got a call!"

"He too... And so do you.", he  
told her, scolding Hilarie without realizing that he was also scolding himself.

"What do you want it to be... A little more will certainly not kill you!"

Norman didn't seem to be of the same opinion.  
"Y/N is not used to drink so much anymore... Three of those are too many cocktails with all the medicine she has taken until the other day!"

"Three? She must have drunk at least twice of that number!"

The woman abandoned herself in an armchair, risking to fall ruinously to the ground and Jeffrey realized that it was time to downsize the situation.

"Okay come on, who of us has never been drunk as hell?"  
The look he gave him was full of meaning: Certainly Norman was not the best person right now to do paternati on that topic.  
The man went back to studying the quiet face of Y/N.

"We should make her throw up..."

"But if she practically fainted... Leave her alone and you'll see that tomorrow she'll wake up and she will be fine!"

Norman's worried expression suddenly became more serious and annoyed.  
"You have a lot of fun, isn't it like that Hilarie! You couldn't wait to get us together again in the same room!"

"Well, what's wrong with that? You too couldn't wait! Maybe you never imagined you would find her collapsed..."  
She put out the cigarette in a half-empty glass of whiskey and looked back at him.

"And now? Who takes her home in this state? We can't get her into a taxi, she won't even be able to go to bed alone!"

"You!"

Norman wasn't sure he understood correctly, yet that sounded like Jeffrey's voice.

"Me?"  
He looked shocked at the faces of his two friends. Why did they look at him as if it was the most obvious and natural thing in the world?  
He and Y/N no longer lived together and above all, he was with with his Ex now.

"You didn't even talk about it... Bring her to you or something!"

"Sure, no... We are in the hotel next door and we should go all the way back? And then I don't think our driver will be willing to put her to bed... Or who knows, maybe yes... Who wouldn't be willing to put Y/N Y/L/N to bed?"

Hilarie always knew where to hit with him.  
Norman looked down, tortured his lips and finally grunted something, which they both didn't understand.

"What?"

"All right! I will accompany you..."  
This time he chanted the words, without hiding the irritated expression.  
He didn't like being set up like that and both of his friends succeeded in their intent, when he could see a spark of satisfaction in their eyes.

"But listen to me... Don't ever dare to pull me into such a joke again! We won't talk about it anymore, you won't ask questions and I won't tell anything about it. And now get those smiles off your face, I need you to get her out of the back door, it would be too much if the paparazzi saw us go away together."

That said, he stood up facing Jeffrey and raising a kinda hateful look on him.

"I have to find (C/N)... We're leaving now!"

He took his friend's beer mug from his hands and swallowed the whole content, before going out and slamming the door shut. He needed to get a dose of courage to do what he was about to do.

"I predict a beautiful disaster!", Jeffrey commented to him as soon as he saw them leave the hall.


	57. Chapter 53

"No, keep it up!"  
Norman was trying to find the house keys in Y/N's purse but it seemed impossible.

"So do you want to move?", his bodyguard whispered, settling the woman in his arms with difficulty.

"I don't fucking find them..."

Norman didn't know where to look anymore, he'd looked through that damn bag at least a couple of times, to no avail.

"Where could they be? What if she hid them somewhere?"

He looked around in the darkness of the night, wondering which hiding place Y/N would choose.  
He remembered that in New York she used to change the place once a week, to be sure not to facilitate thieves. The problem was that she did not even facilitate herself or even himself, forgetting more than once the new infallible hiding place and making the fortune of the blacksmiths of the neighborhood.

He looked in the mailbox and under a strange-shaped stone.

"Give me that damn cell phone! Hold it up, give me light. How many hands do you think I have? Come on and give us a hand instead of just sitting there!"

The bodyguard now protested at the end of his strength, turning to the driver, who was watching them from the parked car.  
A light lit up in the house next to Y/N's and a dog started barking, scaring them almost to death.

"Norman let's get away, they'll call the police...", the drivers voice came from the open window of the limousine.

"So what? It's her house... I'm not robbing her."

He shifted the light from his cell phone into the flower pots on the balcony, feeling the damp earth, but there was no sign of the house keys.

"And again, nothing... Wgo knows where she has put them! We should wake her up to ask her..."

"Yes of course... And surely she will tell you!"

The bodyguard glanced at the woman, who seemed to have fainted with her head abandoned against his chest and her arms dangling.

"Norman, you do whatever you want but it's five o'clock in the morning and it's terribly cold here. I'll put her back in the car... Tell me if there is any news!"

"Hey, no, but what are you doing?"

He had raised his tone too and the neighbor's dog began to howl in front of the gate, forcing him to follow his friend along the driveway.

"Oh... Thank God!"  
The bodyguard left Y/N in the back seat, then stretched his aching back.

"What does THAT mean?"  
Norman's Ex's face at that moment showed all her nervousness. She couldn't believe he was in that situation: She was in a car with her boyfriend and Y/N. But what was on his mind? Was it really necessary for him to accompany her?

"We don't find the keys to carry her inside..."

"I can't believe it!", she replied, crossing her arms over her chest without trying to hide how annoyed she was about that new program change.

Norman arrived at that moment and immediately realized the delicacy of the situation.  
"Come on man, you can not just stay Here... At least give me a hand to find them!"

"How, please? A hand? And what have I done so far? I bet you had those damn keys under your nose! I won't move away from the car. I can't understand what we've been doing down here for almost forty minutes, when you have a house with fifty rooms just seven miles from here!"

The bodyguard was leaning against the open door and looking at him with a mixture of provocation and fatigue.  
Norman knew he was not entirely wrong, but the fact that his girlfriend had agreed to take her home, did not imply that he would agree to host her for the night.

"What, did you agree with Jeffrey and Hilarie too?", he answered, adjusting the scarf around his neck.

"No... I agreed with my brain, which tells me to go to bed. It is five o'clock, can't we do the simplest thing for once?"

Norman now cast a quick glance inside the car and (C/N) who turned towards the window on the other side, making him understand that she would never forgive him.  
He had to choose.  
  



	58. Chapter 54

"Y/N, come on... Try to cooperate..."

Norman stopped, trying to hoist her better on himself and looked at the few steps that still separated him from the bedroom.  
It was not a good idea to let his bodyguard go home before settling Y/N down, but now the men probably hated him for that hellish night.  
And they weren't the only ones to do so...  
(C/N) had been very clear about it: If Norman had brought the ex-girlfriend back to his house, she would have gone back to her apartment. She wouldn't have agreed to sleep under the same roof with that woman.  
But what else should he do? He certainly couldn't expect them to leave Y/N passed out on the pavement in front of her house.  
And so after discussions and attempts to reason with her, the driver had had to resign himself to making an unlikely u-turn, to get off in downtown Los Angeles and take her back home.  
Now it was six in the morning, the light of dawn filtered through the curtains and the only sound that could be heard loud and clear was the chirping of birds in the park.  
He had to try not to make too much noise, otherwise he would have woken up his son or worse, his daughter.  
The grip around the woman's waist became stronger and began to rise again, fighting against the breath and fatigue.

"Come on, a couple more steps and we're there."

"No...", Y/N's plaintive voice surprised him.

"But... Come on, hold on a few more minutes and you will be in bed."

The woman resisted and stopped on the ladder, forcing him to make a huge effort to keep her from rolling underneath.

"No, just leave me here..."

"Fuck Y/an, you can't stay here! Move... Or everyone will wake up!"

Norman looked around, lowering his voice and tugging on her with strength but Y/N seemed determined to want to stay on that ladder and, clinging to the handrail, crouched on a step with her head lowered and her eyes closed.  
The man took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain calm.  
He knelt beside her, pulling his hair back and talking to her too softly.

"Y/N? Please... Go to the room! You can't sleep on the stairs. Our daughter will soon wake up, and you want to be here?"

He saw her raise a blank look at him, followed by a slightly disturbing smile.  
"You have all the smudged make-up on you.", she told him with the typical drunken voice.

"You look so stupid now...", she continued, laughing a little too rudely.

"Be quiet and shut up!"

"Norman, are you back?"  
That was the voice of the babysitter, who had spent the night at his home to look after his daughter, while he and Y/N were at the party.

Norman covered the woman's mouth, forcing her to laugh silently.

"Yes! It's me... I'm only going to bed!"

He looked back at Y/N, signaling her to remain silent, before slowly removing his hand from her face.

"Now you stand up and we'll go to bed... You'll sleep in the room next door, okay?"

"I don't like that..."

Norman sighed, lifting her up and putting her arm around his neck.  
"Well, you'll have to like it for at least today! You've already messed up enough!"

They stumbled onto the next step, trying not to tumble together on the ground.

"The bodyguard..."

"What's with him?", he asked her with difficulty.

"He was wrong... I wasn't good... I had to get back in the saddle. I had to smile... And instead I was a mess."

Y/N's words came to him muffled, since she had her face hidden on his shirt.

"These are drunk speeches, my dear... That's why I don't drink like I used to!"

"I... I don't make any good choices! They were all lies, do you understand? I had to show everyone that I'm a woman with balls, that I could do it... I could see you again with HER and should go straight my own way. But I'm not one with balls... No... And, and I felt so... So bad."

Norman climbed the last step and stopped, raising his face to look into her eyes. He couldn't believe that she, Y/N, was saying those words.

"But you are a woman with balls! You're the woman with the most balls I've ever known! You went on after all I have said and written... And you did great!"

The woman's eyes were gray in the gloom, and they could not remain fixed on his.  
Y/N shook her head repeatedly, as if to deny the man's words.

"No... I went in there with a huge fucking fear of seeing you..."

The man smiled slightly, thinking how adorable she was as she said those words, which came directly from the soul.  
He found himself observing her lips in a way he could hardly remember.  
What was he doing? He looked away quickly, recovering from that moment of weakness and only then did he notice Y/N's shoes, still abandoning a few steps lower down.

"Shit! The soes... Okay, now stay here. Don't move... Hold on tight, please!"

He placed her hands firmly on the railing and ran to get her shoes, but it only took a couple of seconds for him to turn around and find her sitting again, only a few feet higher than before.

"No, I can't believe it!"  
Norman rolled his eyes, going back to kneel beside her, to wake her up and convince her to get up again. They would have taken another hour of that step before going to bed.

"Y/N, get up! Stand up!"  
He lifted her up, forcing her to take one step behind the other to the bedroom. She opened the door and detached it from the jamb, to which she had leaned with her eyes closed.

"Now go straight to bed! And woe to you if you dare to leave this room without my permission!"

Y/N opened her sleepy eyes, remaining motionless for a few moments, as if she didn't understand what she was supposed to do.

"You heard me? Bed! Now!"

Norman studied her confused face.

"I have to go to bed... The bed..."

"Yes, I know... The bed... But what are you doing?"  
Norman stopped suddenly widening his eyes in disbelief.  
Y/N was undressing right in front of him, as if nothing had happened.

Of course, they had surpassed that kind of shame, but it was embarrassing to say the least in a situation like that.  
He tried to cover his eyes quickly with awkward gestures, opening the door of the room and literally throwing her inside, before someone decided to look out onto the corridor.  
Y/N was laughing now, she didn't realize what she was doing and Norman was afraid of that situation: They were alone in a bedroom and she seemed to have forgotten the reasons that had led them to break up.

"Y/N don't... What if someone saw you?"

"Come on, relax! You're always so serious Norman."

He felt himself blush, yet he couldn't look. He didn't have to look.  
The woman was finishing to undress and had her back to him. Just a few quick gestures and she's almost completely naked on the blankets.  
Instinct told him he couldn't leave, he wanted her more than anything else and it was the same for her too, he could read it in each of her languid and so terribly sensual gestures.

"Y/N I..."  
His mouth was dry, even struggling to formulate a thought.

He looked again at the half-closed door and then at that perfect body, which seemed to invite him. But Y/N was already asleep, and she had one of the most beautiful smiles Norman had ever seen on her face.  
He took a deep breath, approaching cautiously. If she woke up now, she wouldn't be able to restrain herself.  
He studied her for a few seconds, resisting the temptation to caress the skin, of which he recognized every inch. He missed that body, he missed everything of that woman.  
He covered her with an abandoned cloth at the foot of the bed, barely touching her lips with a finger.  
Now he had to leave.  



	59. Chapter 55

She rolled over in bed, hoping the walls would stop whirling around her so hard.  
But where was she?  
She was sure she had never seen a similar hotel room. Now she would turn around and find one of those damn phones, on which it was enough to press number 9, to contact the reception. Y/N needed water.

"Wake up."

Y/N tried to focus on the figure, which had just burst into her room. It seemed impossible, but she was sure he had Norman's voice.

"No...", she complained, seeing the light seeping through the curtains that had just been opened by the man.  
"Close them, please!"

"Do you know what time it is? Three in the afternoon!"

"No... Just get out of the room!"  
Y/N tried to sit up, but immediately regretted that burst of vitality and hid her head under the pillow again while the man struggled not to laugh.

She was really funny with her possessed looking hair and upset face. He approached the bed a few steps, trying to look serious, he had to remember that he and Y/N were not on good terms.

"Didn't you have to be on a plane this morning?"

"Shit... Fuck! I had to fly back to New York! Fuck!"  
The pillow gave a glimpse of a shocked and still slightly angry face.

"Come on, take this!"  
Norman sat at the foot of the bed and pulled an aspirin from the blister, passing it with a glass of water. Y/N pulled herself up, feeling like shit.

"They moved the flight to tomorrow... But if you want I can call someone to prepare a jet."

Was he really making a private plane available to get her to the city on time?

"Oh no... No, no, no... I can't accept that! I'm already here and that is too much... But, why am I here?", she said, looking around disoriented, before lowering her eyes and realizing that she was almost completely naked.

"Oh fuck! I... I am... We? Did we?", she said, covering herself quickly with the sheet, without having the courage to look up at the man's face anymore.

Anything could have happened in that room and she didn't remember anything at all.  
Norman noticed her embarrassment and hastened to calm her down.

"Don't worry... Nothing happened... I only got you into this room so that you can go to bed!"

Y/N put both hands to her head, she was sure it would burst. Yet she couldn't even remember a single fragment of the evening, except for the image of Norman on that damn stage.

"Perfect... I must have made a great impression!"

"You slept all the time... We tried to take you home but we didn't find the keys to get into your house..."

"I must have hidden them somewhere... In one of the lantern perhaps?"

Norman rolled his eyes: Why hadn't they thought of the lantern? Finally he decided to get up from the bed with a sigh, rubbing his back.

"So you are not as wasted as you looked actually."

The piercing blue eyes stared at her without understanding, forcing him to be clearer.

"I give you forty-five minutes... I don't think I ever managed to do better either, so don't worry."

Y/N's eyes widened, unable to believe those words.  
"I don't remember anything... I'm really sorry! I'm so ashamed..."

"So what? It can happen... Get dressed now and come down, your daughter is downstairs waiting for you too."

Norman was about to leave the room now, thinking how strange it was to be under the same roof with her again. He still could not forget the words that Y/N had told him that night in the throes of alcohol fumes. She wasn't as cold as she had tried to show herself in the last few months. And he? Well, he never had been. He had forced himself to go on, to take a deep breath and start over, but had he really done it?

"And how did your new old girlfriend take it?", the woman's question stopped him abruptly.

"She... She was quiet, she had to go to work this morning..."

He hastened to shut the door behind him, wondering why he had lied so shamelessly.


	60. Chapter 56

"What are you doing?"  
Norman looked into his son's room.

"I'm studying...", Mingus replied castily, but the act of closing the laptop so fast betrayed him.

"Yes of course... Turn off that computer and go back with those eyes into your books."

"But I study on the computer! Do you think they still use those books which more than five hundred pages?"

Norman raised both eyebrows, retreating slightly.  
"Okay, okay... Excuse the ignorance of your old man, who still prefers a good book! But since when did school programs include laughter? Come on, let me see..."

He decided to enter the room, causing an unusual expression of panic on his son's face, who tried to immediately close the open pages.

"Well... That's how you study then?", Norman told him with a slight note of reproach, forcing him to let him look.

"Hey, you can't do that. It's my privacy!"

Norman turned around, looking at him as if he had just spoken a different language and finally focused on the images that still flowed on the monitor, remaining unsettled.

"Okay... I was watching the trailer for Y/N's new movie or show or whatever they decide it to be later... It's cool! A friend asked me to get him the tickets for the Premiere later here in Los Angeles, but please can you do it? He can't wait to get to know her too!"

Norman did not reply raptly from the images of that trailer, which already looked great.

"Dad!"

"What? Yes... I don't know... But who is he?"

"My best friend Dad! I mean my best friend!", the boy protested with an offended expression.

"Well... We will see what we can do about it... There is still a lot of time left..."  
That said he walked away distractedly.

"But there will be no more seats until then!", Mingus protested, without getting a response anymore.  
  


That was one of the evenings that Norman hated the most: A useless sunday in late november, when his son remained locked in his room and (C/N) left early to return to the set she was working on in Santa Barbara.  
He would usually do something, have dinner with some friend or take advantage of it to relax a little with a good book and a glass of his wine.  
But not that night...  
It was a sort of restlessness that animated him all day, preventing him from stopping.  
Reading helped him, throwing his emotions into his fantasy, making them visible in his own head was almost better than expressing them with acting sometimes. It was something that remained fixed in front of his eyes, something concrete and not passing for some time.  
Yet he was distracted by his daughters tears, which came through the intercom.

"Yes honey... I'm here! I'm coming!"  
He pushed the button so his daughter could hear his voice and stood up, putting the book down and back on the table.  
He felt like shit, as if he had just undergone a three-hour workout and his body began to rebel. Perhaps being a full-time father was not as easy as it seemed at the beginning.

"Here I am, honey... What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

"Mommy..."

Norman felt himself die, while he took her in his arms and tried to comfort her.

"Everything is fine honey... Look, I'm here with you..."

He stroked her hair, glancing at the hands of his watch. It was only nine o'clock in the evening.

"Come on, are we going to read something? Would you like to listen to me reading for you?"

He started goinf towards the floor below, knowing that he would no longer be able to put her to sleep.  
He sat down again on his couch, trying to prevent his daughter's little hands from placing herself right in the center of the book. It was nice to see her so fascinated by his reading voice sometimes, it seemed a little like seeing his son as a little child again.  
Norman's gaze was suddenly drawn to something unusual, something that had never before been particularly important to him. His laptop remained buried under old photographs, for centuries now no one had opened it. But that look was enough to make him understand that his anxiety was due precisely to that and that his head had remained anchored to the images of that afternoon.  
He decided to reach to the table, pushing all that stuff away and taking the laptop. He switched it on, waiting for the screen to load and wondered why he still kept that ruin in there, since he was used to use his mobile phone.  
His daughter did not miss the opportunity to type something incomprehensible on the keyboard and Norman had to make an incredible effort to return to the damn trailer, which had kept buzzing in his head for hours.  
Here she is, there is Y/N... It was something that he himself would go to see, if only the rejection of the cinema had not become so strong. It was the kind of stuff suitable for the whole family, one that could even be liked by Mingus, despite his difficult tastes.  
He remained with his gaze fixed on the now motionless images, wondering why that attack of curiosity was a little morbid. He wasn't a fan, he wasn't even a stalker... So what was he trying to do?  
He thought he was stronger than it, but clicked on the next video and found himself facing an old interview with the actress. An interview which belonged to the period of the promotion of the first 'The Walking Dead' season with her, when nothing had happened between them. He smiled, recognizing the almost whispered and shy voice for which he had always teased her.

"Mommy!"  
His daughter immediately recognized her mother's Y/H/C hair and smiled happily, trying to touch her through the monitor.

"Yes honey, it's your Mom!"  
Norman was strangely kidnapped by the entire duration of the interview: Y/N had that elegant way of drawing the words with her own hands and her face could never stay still, her eyes barred to then shrink into an irresistible grimace and her lips only rippled for a moment to explode into a contagious smile... She was like a mime, one of the naturally most comical actresses he had ever known

"Yes?", he paused, pushing the laptop slightly away when someone knocked on the door.

"Excuse me Norman... It's me!"

What was Jeffrey doing at his house at that time? He usually told him... The figure made its entrance and as every time its excessively face lit up as soon as it saw the child.

"So? What are you doing all alone in here?"

Norman let his friend pick up his daughter, who wasted no time, smiling at her.

"That's good, go see Uncle Jeffrey!"

"But how beautiful you became, princess!"

"Please... Please sit down!", Norman sighed, casting a distracted look at the computer.

"So how is the mother?"

"You mean Y/N?"

Jeffrey nodded without looking at him and Norman smiled for the apt comparison.

"I would say well... She's feeling better. She has just finished shooting and now she is already down with another film or show or whatever it will be."

"Oh thank goodness... I was beginning to miss her magnificent-..."

"Hey, no! Not in front of the little girl!", Norman immediately stopped him, knowing that it would be another one of his comments about Y/N's backside.

His friend looked at him with an innocent expression.  
"…Smile! Norman... Her wonderful smile! Your father always thinks badly."

"Yes of course..."  
Norman shook his head, smiling.

"Mommy!"  
His daughters attention had shifted back to the computer.

Norman's eyes widened, hoping that Jeffrey didn't realize the panic painted on his face.

"Mom? Oh no, I'm not your mom!"  
Jeffrey looked up at her amusedly, while Norman seemed to have seen a ghost.

"Mommy!"

Jeffrey followed the child's directions and in a few moments realized what was happening.  
"Is your mom there?"

He got up from the desk, instinctively approaching Norman.

"But yes... She sees her on Skype when she's too far away...", he tried to fix it, lowering the monitor to prevent him from seeing the images but his friend was faster than him.

"Oh well... Sure... Skype..."  
It was his ironic comment, as soon as he focused on the unmistakable profile of Y/N.  
With a quick gesture he pressed the play button and the woman's warm voice filled the room again.

Norman now wanted to be a thousand miles away from there, while he saw Jeffrey so silent and focused on that interview, he didn't even understand a word of it.

"Come on, that's enough!"  
He tried to put an end to that embarrassing situation but his friend's amused smile made him speechless.

"Of course you two look like a match..."

"The two of us?"

"Yes, look at it..."

But Norman looked up at the child, who was now already busy pulling on the man's hair.  
"But it's not true!", he protested with an injured tone.

"You think so?"  
Jeffrey gave him an evil smile from someone who knew her longer than him and returned to concentrating on Y/N's face.

Perhaps Jeffrey was right: He and Y/N were really so alike.  
Suddenly he felt close to her again, as if there was nothing to separate them.

"Wait, wait... Let's look at this!"  
Jeffrey clicked on the next video, without giving him time to finish with that interview.

"But, no! What are you doing?"  
Norman tried to push his hands away, but Jeffrey silenced him, forcing him to look.

"Come on, stop it, this is better... Look at it..."

It was really embarrassing, one of his best friends was looking at photos of his ex fiancee, some that Norman himself had never seen anywhere.

"Give me my daughter! I don't want to see them!"

"Oh come on, stop it! They are beautiful, you just don't want to admit it."

Norman looked up, taking his daughter in his arms and rising from the couch. He had no intention of being his accomplice in that thing. Yet every now and then the eye fell on the images, which flowed slowly by.  
"Enough... Let's go, it's time to sleep for my little girl anyway!"

Having said that, he walked towards the girl's room.

"Yes, just a moment... This is a photo shoot by the way. What's your opinion?"

Jeffrey took his time, standing in front of the laptop.

"Come on, Jeffrey..."  
  


  
Norman knew very well that he didn't have to go back to that room, and yet he did.  
Jeffrey now had been gone for just half an hour, when he had finished the last sip of his non-alcoholic beer and headed home.  
His daughter slept upstairs, as did the boy who was still in his room, in which Norman was not allowed to break into.  
He needed to read something good, to help him not think about himself and the whirlwind of thoughts that would not have made him sleep so easily.  
He chose a volume now without a cover with worn pages and a series of almost invisible notes along the edges. It was one of his favorites, one of the five or six books he always kept with him and he hadn't gotten tired of reading through it.  
Yet it seemed impossible to find the right concentration.  
He glanced at the work table and recognized the abandoned laptop, the monitor still open exactly as his friend had left it a few hours before.  
He reluctantly got up from the couch, sitting on a stool.  
He took his notebook, starting to write the date.  
Confusion. Desire. Solitude. Guilt. Flavor. They were just some of the words that came to his mind, as he thought of Y/N's voice.  
Norman looked back at the computer with a puzzled expression and prepared to smoke a cigarette.  
He would have turned it off, that's all. But a quick glimpse never hurted anyone, didn't it?

  



	61. Chapter 57

"Where are you?"

He tried to be as cold as he always was.  
"I'm with a friend at the store..."

Y/N held back a sigh of annoyance  
"But isn't it a little late?"

Norman checked his watch, which didn't even mark midday.  
"No... I wouldn't say that... You were the one who called earlier than usual."

It was embarrassing, he was away from home and that meant he couldn't pass her up, so they would just talk about the latest news, which could go from what the little girl had eaten for breakfast, for how she had slept that night, to the progress of her last words.

"Yes, sorry... It's because I had an appointment and I'm done now. I'll call you back later, okay?"

Y/N rubbed her forehead, leaning with her elbow on the restaurant table and flipping through the pages of a book.

"What?"

Norman's voice made her stop just as she was about to hang up. She decided to remain vague.  
"Nothing, an interview..."

Norman remained silent and sat down. He didn't even know why he had asked her, the days had passed when they were talking about their jobs.  
He absently scratched an eyebrow, feeling strangely lighter.

"I hope this is not another photoshoot of yours...", he said and immediately regretted his last words.

"What do you mean, another?"  
Y/N's tone had changed dramatically.

"No nothing, I'm sorry. We'll talk later when you get home."

"No, no... Now you tell me!"

Y/N would not let it go so easily. Norman had insinuated something with his usual evasive tone and she couldn't ignore it.

"There's nothing to say, okay?", he replied, annoyed, lowering his cap to his face.

"No... You said something about a photoshoot of me. What photos would I have done, let's hear?"

"Oh Y/N, stop with these paranoia! You know how many photos are running on the web..."

"And who could know better than me? I certainly know the stuff that has been going through it for months!"

Those words silenced him. It was more than obvious that Y/N was referring to the images, which portrayed him with his girlfriend on thousands of occasions. The man stood up taking a deep breath, secluding himself in a corner of the shop.

"Y/N now isn't the time..."

"It is not! But don't provoke me if you know you are the first to behave in a certain way."

"But... What... I, what?, he stammered, feeling that patience was about to abandon him.

"I honestly don't know what photos you refer to, but you know very well that I haven't posed for any service since I discovered I was pregnant with our daughter."

"Yes, I-..."

Y/N's voice prevented him from continuing.  
"And anyway, any shoot I decide to make will never be more scandalous than those of your current girlfriend! Now I think I'll try to call Orlando, good night. Sorry, have a nice day!"

"Y/N? Y/N!"

The repetitive sound of the telephone made him realize that she had really hung up.  
He almost threw his phone to the ground, so great was his frustration that he could not respond to her anger.  
Why did she always have to be so terribly touchy?  
And why did he always have to be so stupid? Couldn't he keep it to himself?  
The truth was that his curiosity had cheated on him: The images of the night before had been enough to upset him. He couldn't get them out of his head. The interviews were followed by the filming of the charity spots and finally the photo shoots, in which Y/N appeared in sexy poses. It was a blast to see her play the part of the femme fatale. He missed her grimaces and smiles.  
So why had he said that sentence? What had bothered him so much that he couldn't shut up? Why did it bother him so much to think that that Y/H/C diva on the leopard background was the same woman who had given him a daughter? He had made a false step, that's all.  
Norman put the phone in his pocket, cursing the moment he decided to answer.

The truth was that Y/N missed him and was afraid, a terrible fear that she preferred her career and decided to move back to New York, taking their child with her.  
In recent months the work had been so tight for both of them that they had hardly had time to meet; it was their friends who often shuttled between their homes, taking their little daughter with them, to allow her to spend time with both parents.  
Now, however, Y/N was busy on the set of something new, on which she should have taken part in the previous year. It was a great opportunity for her but the shooting was divided between Germany and America, which is why she had preferred that her daughter stays home with her father.  
Norman knew how frustrating this situation was for the woman, who could do nothing but think about her daughter and spend entire evenings on the phone to make her hear her voice. He remembered only too well when he too was confined to another set and could only go home every two or three weeks.  
But what if Y/N had decided to stay in New York again now? Had she decided that this was her home again? So what would Norman do? Would he move back to New York too? Or maybe they would have continued that life of planes and video calls for life?  
It seemed impossible that it really happened... The separation had been too heavy for everyone: For their daughter, who, although small, always suffered from the lack of one of her parents. For him, who felt guilty, because he could not give her the stability he wanted. And for Y/N, who worked eighteen hours a day, just to be able to go home more often.  
Norman felt suddenly lost in that little shop, in which he loved to hide and try the strangest and most precious things. He looked around, immediately catching his friend's eye, who was talking about cars with the owner and signaled him to go. They both greeted him hastily and left, paying attention to any prying eyes of the people.  
Norman adjusted his dark sunglasses and lowered the cap onto his eyes, hiding behind the massive figure of his friend.

"Bought nothing?", he asked, visibly surprised.

"Nope!", he replied, sinking his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

His friend knew immediately that he wasn't feeling good and merely walked slightly in front of him to escort him into the car.  
Norman got into the car and immediately took out the tobacco; that phone call had made him nervous, maybe too much.  
He could not help thinking of Y/N's angry voice and resentful words.   
The only thing he could do was return home immediately to his little daughter, hoping to intercept the phone call that Y/N would make to her new boyfriend.  
No, the only sensible thing to do was to call her back immediately and apologize to her... But that probably wouldn't help at all.


	62. Chapter 58

Y/N hung up and sighed deeply.  
Why had she said so much? After all, Norman had nothing to do with her work and her choices. If there was one thing she had understood in those long months of self-analysis, it was that she absolutely had to recover her identity as a woman and actress.  
She had not even allowed her parents to intrude on her choices, now who was Norman to decide on her working life?  
He was the father of her daughter. That is why his judgment still had so much importance.  
In those few words she felt a sort of criticism on her seriousness, on her sense of responsibility now that she was a mother.  
After their meeting in the office with the analyst, Y/N had often thought of talking to Norman about what she had witnessed that day, but she had never found the courage to do it, so great was the shame.  
She looked out of the cafe window and stared at the reflection of the lights on the wet asphalt.  
She had no idea what pictures Norman was talking about, she only knew that centuries had passed since she had agreed to pose for a magazine or some designer.

"Do you want something else?", the waiter asked deferentially.

Y/N nodded, realizing she was the only one in the room.  
She was very late, she had forgotten how fast the rhythms in that kind of productions were, but it had been her choice and now she wouldn't have pulled back for a miserable moment of discouragement.  
She knew she could do it, she knew she was a good mother and a good actress and that her daughter would be proud of her one day. But she still couldn't feel serene, when she went to bed every night, with her daughter's little voice still in her ears and her photo held in her hands.  
Even now, in the heat of the deserted cafe, her child's toothless smile was the only thing she could think of.  
The hint of a smile was painted on Y/N's face at that thought.  
It had been a particularly difficult evening, she had taken one of the most important steps in her life, both public and private, and had done so after months of hesitation and paranoia. She had released one of the longest and most difficult interviews of her entire career. And now she felt drained, as if she had taken off not only a great weight, but also as if she had just lost another part of herself.  
Perhaps for this reason she had waited for the journalist to leave the premises, to scroll through the column and call Norman. She knew it was early, she knew she would probably disturb him, but she couldn't resist. She needed to hear his voice to calm down and instead the man had the magical power to make her even more nervous.

She closed the book, leaving the waiter a tip.  
She went out and squeezed herself into her heavy black coat, which made her look more and more like a modern Morticia Addams.  
She could have taken a taxi but decided that she needed a walk. The icy air of the city would certainly have cleared her mind and would have psychologically prepared her for the next difficult intercontinental phone call. She insisted on repeating that it is the past now but as soon as she needed something, instead of calling her family or Orlando, what did she do? She called Norman to show off a cold and cordial tone, receiving half sentences and annoyed moans in return.  
She now looked at her boots, continuing to walk and feeling more frustration at every step.

"Shit... What the hell am I doing?"


	63. Chapter 59

"We shorten just a couple of centimeters, okay?"

Y/N nodded to the seamstress, retrieving the cell phone that kept ringing, although she tried to ignore it.

"Yes?"

"Y/N it's me."

"Norman? Oh, what's going on?"

" Nothing... Our daughter fine, she's sleeping now. Mingus is with her..."

It had been just twelve hours since their last phone call but now Norman seemed unable to speak.

"Did you drink?"

"No..."

"Norman!"

It was incredible, how did it occur to him to drink and call her at that hour?  
"Only a couple of glasses!"

"What? If you're going to start over with that photo story, know that I don't have time."

Y/N was getting impatient. She was working for that movie and all because she wanted to finish shooting as soon as possible, to go home a few hours early for that weekend.

"No... I..."  
He was hesitating again.

"Listen, in ten minutes I have the first shoot of the day and-..."

"When are you coming back?"  
The way he had silenced her left her speechless. Norman seemed shocked, he could tell from the slight crack in her voice.

"I... Well... I hope Friday. If I leave immediately after shooting, I'll be there for the interview. I promised you, I would never let you get late to it."

Silence.

"Norman, are you still there?"

"Yes... She misses you so much!"

"I know... Same here..."

If he had called her to make her feel like a bad mother, he was succeeding perfectly.

"Y/N..."

"What is it? Norman you starting to making me worry!"

It was too difficult to stand there in the midst of all those tailors and make-up artists, trying not to show any emotion. Norman's voice had something very strange and it wasn't the fault of probably too many glasses of alcohol.

"No... It's my mother..."

"What? Did something happen to her?"  
She decided to walk away into a corner of the dressing room, signaling the others to wait a few seconds.

"I spent the whole day with her..."

"And where is she now? In the hospital there in Los Angeles?"

"Yes, luckily she was here with Mingus! I don't even know how it will go this time. I was hoping she had passed everything. I don't know if I'm ready to start over... I can't stand to see her suffer!"

Now he was holding back the emotion and Y/N wanted so much to be with him to hug him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Norman! Listen, you should only think about staying close to her now... Everything else will settle down, you'll see... In fact, I'll try to move my shootings. I'll go to the airport and take the next flight okay?"

"No! No, what are you saying? There is no need for it. I didn't call you for this, our daughter and Mingus can handle it very well! I just needed to tell you... To talk to someone who understood..."

Y/N bit her tongue, feeling her heart tighten. It was true then, he too needed her presence.  
She tried not to get carried away by the emotions and to give him some courage.

"Try to trust, your mother is in good hands and she is a strong woman, she will not let herself be beaten this time either, you'll see!"

"Yes, I know..."

"I wish I was there..."

They were silent for a few seconds. Norman was smoking and Y/N could almost see him, lying on the couch in the shadows of the deserted room, while he was torturing his hair.

"Now Norman, please stop to drink... You know it's not good for you and if your mother saw you you would regret it. Come on, go take a shower and go to bed. You will see that you will feel better tomorrow."

She heard him take a deep sigh.  
"Okay... And Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you..." 


	64. Chapter 60

"Norman can you please just move!"

His manager was trying to calm his daughter, who screamed desperately in her arms.  
By now it was normal for her to spend time with her when the child stayed at her father's house but she had never seen her so upset.

"Come on, Daddy is coming now!"

She rocked her, speaking to her in a low voice but the little girl kept crying with a red face and an inconsolable expression.

"Hey... Come here!"  
Norman took his daughter in his arms, handing her the bottle full of milk. It was not normal for her to drink it at that time but she refused to eat for lunch and this must have made her even more irritable.

"Aren't you ready yet?"  
His manager stared at him shocked.

"I'll be readyt in a moment...", the man replied, trying to restrain the child, who didn't want to think about drinking.

"We need to take the plane in less than an hour, we'll never make it if you all won't move!"

Norman snorted at his manager's words, glancing at the clock on the wall.  
It was four o'clock in the afternoon and they had to leave right away if they didn't want to risk being trapped in traffic.  
Y/N had to return that afternoon and, as she had promised, she would go straight to them to get the baby.  
It was sad to think that those few minutes were now their only occasions to meet, made only of bags full of spare parts, games and recommendations on the behavior to keep with the child.

"Come on, Honey, just a little bit... But what's the matter? She didn't even sleep..."

Norman looked up at his manager worriedly, looking for an answer.

"She's probably getting teeth! You know this is a delicate time... You will see that with the medicine you gave her, she will calm down!"

The man felt slightly comforted by the words of the woman, who certainly had more experience than him in that field.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Norman rushed downstairs.

"Finally!"  
He heard the exasperated exclamation as he ran down the stairs and glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible with that punctured milk-stained shirt and unkempt hair, which made him look like a retired professor.  
He had already opened the door to Y/N and Norman saw her come in like lightning.  
She didn't even have time to put the bag on the ground to run to her child: That crying made her feel physically ill, she couldn't stay away for a minute longer.

"Oh, Honey! What is happening? Come to mom! It's all right..."

She hadn't even bothered to say hello but Norman didn't mind, understanding very well what she had to feel after the umpteenth week away from her daughter.  
He watched her for a moment, so flawless in her black clothes as she hugged the girl, kissing her forehead and whispering sweet words into her ear.

"But... Isn't she a little too warm, Norman?", the woman asked with concern, returning her lips to her daughter's forehead.

"No... I don't think so!"  
Even Norman now touched her forehead and cheeks.

"Look here, she's all sweaty!"

"I know... She didn't stop crying for a moment today. She didn't even want to eat... The doctor says too that it's probably the teeth!"

"But with the other teeth it didn't happen! No... Norman she is not feeling well... Look how red her face is!"

The man felt a little annoyed by the tone of those words, almost as if he hadn't been able to take care of his daughter.  
"Don't start being apprehensive! She was fine until this morning..."

The little girl looked at him with a trembling chin, before bursting into tears again with that sharp and deafening little voice.  
Norman realized he didn't have the courage to part with her. They had spent so much time together and the idea that he wouldn't hug her that night before putting her to bed, made him feel lost.

"Here, keep the bag."  
He put the red bag on Y/N's shoulder.

"Sure... But you should know that I have everything at home..."

Y/N placed the child on her shoulder and Norman picked up her purse, which was left on the ground.  
Luckily his girlfriend always avoided being present in those moments already so embarrassing.

"Okay, I'll call you as soon as I get to New York... And then when I get back to the hotel tonight! I don't know... I already gave her some medicine twenty minutes ago... Try to get her to drink a little more. She doesn't want water, she spits it out every time!"

Y/N nodded, letting the man kiss the baby for the last time.  
Then she saw him looking around as if he were looking for something there in the courtyard.

"So no Orlando here today?"  
He tried to be indifferent.

"No, he has a shooting in Las Vegas..."

Norman raised an eyebrow, winking.  
"Oh, but in Las Vegas?"

"Stop it! Rather, tell me about your mother? Is there  
anything new?"

"Yes, she is feeling a little better now... She will only have to remain under observation for a few days, assuming that the nurses endure it for so long!"

He smiled and Y/N was happy to see him more relieved than a couple of days before .  
She returned it, stroking her daughter's hair.

"I'll go see her in the morning, I can't wait to see her again! Good luck for tonight, then... And don't overdo it with that hair!"

Without even thinking about it, he ran his hand through his own hair, lowering his gaze.  
She had always told him, Y/N loved his hair but Norman had this bad habit of touching them all the time, especially if he was embarrassed. He was a brilliant and talented man, he didn't have to prove anything to anyone and he had no reason to be intimidated by a camera.  
The woman turned her back on him now and Norman watched her as she put the child in the seat and got into the car to leave.  
He greeted her with a wave of his hand, but she was already far away...


	65. Chapter 61

Why didn't Orlando respond?  
Y/N interrupted the call with a snort, when she heard the voice of the answering machine again. She had already left three messages in the last hour, he probably couldn't answer at that moment.  
Now she looked around with growing anguish.  
Why didn't they tell her anything? Everyone seemed to be tremendously busy as they passed by her without looking at her.  
She sat on the red armchair in the waiting room, checking her mobile phone again. Crossing her legs, she looked at her watch for the hundredth time and stood up again, unable to stay still.  
They were taking too long.  
As soon as she returned home, she had felt the child's fever. Within a few hours, however, the fever had risen and Y/N had begun to notice the appearance of small red patches all over her daughter's body.  
If only Orlando had been with her, she wouldn't have needed to go to the emergency room, but what could she do? He was in Las Vegas, Norman in Los Angeles... She would look like an apprehensive and paranoid mother but at least she would be quiet and more calm.  
But now more than an hour had passed since the nurses had taken her away from her arms to let her visit and no one had yet come to tell her.  
She wanted to smoke a cigarette but she didn't have any with her and anyway she would never have left the room.  
Now she saw the old nurse from afar, who had welcomed her and decided to try asking her.

"Excuse me...", she cleared her throat, realizing she had spoken too low.

"Excuse me? Here... My baby entered about an hour ago. Do you remember me? I just want to know something... How is she? Is she okay?"

The crack in uttering the last words betrayed her apprehension.  
The nurse studied her from behind the glasses and seemed to change her expression. She approached her, placing a hand on her arm and leading her back to the waiting room.  
"Yes Mrs. Y/L/N, your baby is in good hands. Our Doctor is the best! Now you just need some patience... I'll warn you as soon as we know something new!"

Y/N's heart lost a beat. Why did she talk to her like that? Why did the best pediatrician in the hospital have to visit her daughter, if she had only a little fever?  
A terrible premonition took hold of her, when she saw the worry in the old nurse's eyes but she still tried to control herself.  
She sat down again, torturing her hands and convincing herself that she was probably only exaggerating.  
Hours and hours of psychoanalysis had by now become accustomed to the fact that that terror could only be the fruit of her mother's anxiety, perhaps she was having a relapse and being alone certainly did not help her to reason and think correctly.  
Yet her daughter had been in there for so long.  
She buried her face in her hands and took a deep sigh.   
Again she looked at the mobile phone reluctantly. She had to do what shr had postponed until then, she had to make Norman aware of what was happening. He had a right to know more than anyone else.

So she dialed the number, yet hoping he wouldn't answer either.

"Yes?"  
Too late, he replied.

"Norman... It's me, Y/N! I hope not to bother you!"

As always, no other words were necessary to understand each other.

"What happened? Is everything okay?"

Y/N heard the alarm in the man's voice and regretted calling him.  
"Well, the fever rose quickly and her body got red spots. It's probably nothing serious but... I didn't know what to do..."

"And where are you now?"

"At the hospital. I didn't manage to stay home and Orlando isn't there. I got scared!", she was justifying herself, she was afraid Norman would tell her again that she was crazy.

"But no... You did well! Y/N?"

The silence on the other side of the phone was certainly not encouraging.

"They don't tell me anything... They took her in over an hour ago and nobody came out yet. And what if it is something serious? "

She had said it. Shr needed to let off steam and could no longer hold back all the anguish.  
Norman sighed from the other end of the phone. Now he would tell her to calm down and everything would be fine.  
"I'll come there, wait for me!"

"What?"  
Y/N was puzzled by the strong tone of the man. She cursed herself, it was not her intention to make him worry so much. She just wanted him to calm her down like he always did when she lost control.

"Yes, I come back to New York..."

"But you have the interview... You can't!"

"Of course I can... My daughter is in the hospital, how do you think I would be in front of a camera then?"

Y/N found herself asking him to reason.  
"No... What are you saying? I didn't call you for this! It may be nothing. I will inform you as soon as they tell me something, I promise!"

"I am there in a couple of hours. Call me anyway as soon as they tell you something... And Y/N? Calm down, try to be quiet! You did the right thing."

The phone call stopped and Y/N looked around disoriented.  
She didn't want to cause that ruckus, Norman had an important interview on a national talk show. He should have promoted the new movie coming out at Christmas and probably all his fans were already crowded in front of the TV studios. He could not decline the invitation a few hours before the live broadcast.  
But of course he could, he was Norman Reedus.


	66. Chapter 62

"Now we will continue to give her intravenous antibiotics and we will try to replenish the fluids lost with fever..."

Y/N tried to hold the gaze of the elderly professor, who stood in front of her and spoke softly. The tissue wrapped between her hands and her eyes wide and full of fear and hope.

"Y/N..."  
The deep voice came from the end of the corridor, where the elevator doors had just opened, leaving a Norman perhaps more agitated than she was.  
As soon as their eyes met Y/N let herself go to an inconsolable cry and the man could not help but squeeze her in his arms, raising his alarmed eyes on those present.  
"What happened? Where is my daughter?"

A terrible premonition took possession of him and forced the woman to look into his eyes, to make sure he hadn't arrived too late.

It was the doctor who spoke, seeing that the mother was certainly too upset, to repeat what they had just told her.  
"I'm taking care of your child. Unfortunately it took us a few hours to ascertain her condition and we came to the conclusion that the child is suffering from meningitis."

"Meningitis?"  
Norman instinctively brought a hand to Y/N's head, which was still resting on his shoulder. He would have foolishly wanted her not to hear, but she already knew everything.

"Yes, see Mr. Reedus, it is quite common that it happens to infants... But in this case the inflammation of the meninges was not caused by a virus but by a bacterium, probably a complication of another lung infection, given the breathing difficulties. As I said to your wife, to be sure that it's pneumococcus, we'll have to give her some drops of cerebrospinal fluid."

Norman tried to speak but realized he had no voice. Everything was happening too fast.

"They will have to do a lumbar puncture...", he heard Y/N murmur those words.

How could such a small girl bear such a painful thing?

"Yes, the procedure requires that the liquid be taken through a puncture in the lower part of the spine. It is a rather invasive examination for this will be done under general anesthesia. We know that most of the neonatal meningitis comes from this bacterium, so we have already provided for the antibiotics and fluids needed to raise the blood pressure."

"But can we see her? Can we be with her?"

Norman already knew the answer to his questions and felt that Y/n was shaking her head, probably because she had already asked for it.

"I'm sorry, but now the baby is under strict medical supervision. She had respiratory problems, that's why she needs mechanical oxygenation..."

"It means... She's attached?"

Norman felt himself faint, only the knowledge that he was supporting Y/N, prevented him from falling into despair.

"At least until we start seeing the effects of the antibiotics. What we can do now is to identify the bacterium and hope to have caught it in time, so that her body reacts to the therapies."

The doctor's gaze suggested that those words were difficult for him to pronounce.  
Nirman hid his face in the woman's hair.  
His little girl's life was hanging by a thread, they had told him. He couldn't even see her, hold her close to reassure her.

"We have excellent nurses who look after her and never leave her alone, don't worry about that! I have to ask you to start an antibiotic therapy, but it's just a precaution, since you too have been in contact with the baby before admission."

Norman nodded, glancing at his manager too, who kept her distance but must have had heard everything; she also should have had that therapy.

"Now I go back there, as soon as we have news we'll let you know. This night will be very important!"  
That said the doctor left, leaving them motionless to look at his fluttering coat.

"My baby..."  
Y/N broke away from Norman's arms, wiping her eyes.

"It can't be... This morning she was fine! She laughed... I gave her a bath..."

Norman was looking for a foothold, something that told him he couldn't help it, that it couldn't be his fault.

"The doctor said they are fulminant diseases. We cannot predict!"

Y/N approached the window followed by the man, while the other woman remained on the sidelines with an absolutely distraught bodyguard too.

"Yes, but if I had immediately taken her to the emergency room when she was screaming that way... I knew there was something strange! But I never thought of anything so serious!"

Y/N realized that the sense of guilt of the man was growing with every second. She remembered when she too felt like a bad parent, unable to protect her child.

"Norman it is not your fault!"

The man took off his jacket and began to torture his beard, still without looking at her.

"Yes, but then why did you notice it as soon as you picked her up?"

"Because I hadn't seen her for a few days... Oh Norman, I don't know why! Maybe because I'm her mother! But it doesn't matter now. The important thing is that they are taking care of it. You have to make it... I can't lose you too!"

In those words there was everything.  
They had lost one child already and lost each other. Now they were in danger of losing their daughter, the only thing that still kept them tied and made them feel alive.  
Norman hid his face, hoping she wouldn't notice the tears, which threatened to come down at any moment.  
Y/N squeezed his arm, she needed him just as he needed her now.

"She's so young... So small!"  
Norman's cracked voice was so low, that it only reached his own ears.  
The woman brought her hand to his hair, forcing him to look into her eyes like it hadn't happened for so many months.

"But our daughter is strong. We must be strong too!"  
Norman had only to nod and take up the situation again. And instead he hugged her, clinging to her and hiding his face in her hair.  
  


  
  
The clock marked four o'clock now.  
Norman changed his position again, since that chair was really uncomfortable.  
He turned in the direction of Y/N, who instead slept lying on more chairs, given to them by one of the nurses.  
He looked towards the transparent glass, from which they could see their little girl lying in a tiny bed, with all those wires connected to the machines. It was painful to see her in that state but it was always better than staying away, without seeing her at all.  
The Doctor had made an exception to the rule, probably due to their name or perhaps only because the situation was so delicate, that any minute with their daughter would have been precious. In fact now they could be alone in that corridor and they had a window, which always gave them sight to their daughter's room, which now seemed to sleep without realizing anything.  
Norman wanted to talk to her, make her feel that they were both there, maybe sing one of those cute rhymes, which Y/N had taught him months earlier.  
He stretched, getting to his feet and measuring the dim hallway for the umpteenth time.  
The nurses of the night shift could be heard from afar, along with the beep of some machines. For a parent there could be nothing worse than being in one of those corridors or inside one of those rooms with more vivid colors than the others.  
Yet Mingus too needed to know what was happening to his sister; he would never have forgiven him if he had kept him in the dark about something so serious and he too had to admit that his closeness would do him good.  
He turned around, feeling Y/N complaining in her sleep.  
He smiled and approached her, covering her with his jacket and remaining to observe her while she slept.  
It seemed like centuries since he'd last done it, yet he remembered that this was one of his favorite pastimes, when they lived together in the tiny house in New York.  
He studied the line of her nose and her soft lips, the small dimples barely visible, the long eyelashes and the shadow they left on his face.  
If they had been in their bed, in their home, he would have touched her cheekbone with the back of his fingers and then he would have come closer to suck in the scent of her hair.  
But nothing was like before.  
He stood up again, stretching his legs and his eyes focused on something colorful, coming out of Y/N's purse.  
Why did he always have the mania to rest her things on the ground? That was just how he managed to lose everything.  
He leaned down to pick it up and put back what looked like a book, when he realized that it was a magazine with a glossy cover and bright colors. Yet it took him a moment to recognize the figure dressed in long black veils, on a winter beach...


	67. Chapter 63

'The Rebirth Of Y/N'

That was the title that stood out on the best-selling magazine monthly in the world, the same one on which even his Ex-Wife had appeared several times.  
It was strange that his manager had not told him anything about it, she certainly knew for some time.  
He quickly flipped through the pages until he reached the article: A long interview, dedicated to her and the last two difficult years. That had to be the interview she had talked to him only the week before and for which they had foolishly discussed.  
He was immediately struck by the photos always taken on that dark and somewhat sad beach, in contrast to the confident and serene gaze of the Y/H/C-haired woman. What his woman had once been.  
He started reading, occasionally glancing at Y/N, as if he was afraid of being discovered reading a personal journal.  
  
'Y/N Y/L/N. One of the most successful actresses on the international screen and one of the most proud artists in America.  
This masterpiece of nature with long Y/H/C hair, Y/E/C eyes and fiery lips, which have bewitched even one of the male sex symbols par excellence: Norman Reedus.  
We met her in a small cafe on the outskirts of New York City: Large black glasses, as well as her clothes are black, perhaps to blend in better with the surrounding environment. We don't know.  
She is waiting for us with a book in her hands and a cup of coffee, as she likes.  
  
She smiles, looking away and fiddling with some of her showy rings with singular shapes. She says she has a passion for these strange jewels, often considered macabre by most people.  
We order another coffee and start our chat, knowing that with Y/N you can't talk about a real interview.  
  
Q: Do you know that we have tried everything to get this meeting?

"Oh yeah sure.", she says with laughter. "My agent has had a lot of work in the last year to get me out of my hole. Let's say I didn't make it easy for her! But sooner or later the time comes for everyone to get back in the saddle!"  
  
Q: How was it to get back to New York after living in Los Angeles?

"For a Hollywood actress, it's the best. It's like being in the land where really everything is possible! But Los Angeles is not for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't like that life there very much, I don't even like the heat very much to tell the truth. I need to know when it's Christmas and when it's time to put on flip-flops. My roots probably got the better of me and I can't fully appreciate everything that happens there."  
  
Q: But now you live with your child. (born from the bond with actor Norman Reedus)

"Yes, we moved there when she was only a few months old. I believe it is necessary to set aside your own preferences when it comes to children. Norman almost always works in Los Angeles, his son lives there most of the time. The best thing for her is to stay close to all her family."  
  
Q: But she misses her Dad, do you think of going back there?

"It's funny, I've been accused for years of denying my Home, which I never did. I chose to leave, to move to study and it became my home. Who knows, maybe when my daughter is older and can travel more, I can afford to return to Los Angeles. After all, my parents still live here too."  
  
Q: Recently you returned to work with two important productions. Was it difficult to return to the camera after this gap year?

"I must admit that it took me some time to get back to the rhythm of the set. It was a painful return, I wasn't sure I was ready to launch myself again. To my great luck, I have always been surrounded by wonderful people, who have encouraged me and always believed in me."  
  
Q: Are you referring to your colleagues Andrew Lincoln and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, with whom you shot the long-awaited new season of 'The Walking Dead' which will be released soon?

"Yes. It was so crazy that I couldn't say no back then. They were wonderful to me, even during the shooting they helped me a lot and it was like being with old school friends. We had fun like children. All of us."  
  
Q: In these days instead you are engaged on the set of a new film. A reckless production according to many, but which is particularly dear to you.

"Yes, it's a very ambitious project, which I loved from the first moment. They are doing an absolutely brilliant job, with a particular sensitivity. No one realizes how difficult it is to approach history. It often hurts to remember what really happened in those tragic places. It is the story of a woman who makes a journey of death and awareness together, in a world where love, personal relationships and political ideology intertwine as never before in any other era."  
  
Q: We know that you love challenges: We saw you in the role of mothers, slaves, warriors and murderers, but for this film you went further, agreeing to strip down not only your clothes but also your beauty.

"I never thought that the role of the femme fatale was right for me. I certainly do not deny the fact that a good physical appearance is useful in our work, but I am also convinced that it is not enough. I've never accepted 'simple' roles, the classic big-screen girlfriends never did it for me. I believe instead that there is a sort of exchange between the actor and his character and it is when I feel I can help one of these women to go out, that I decide to make a journey inside her. I knew that my character would not have been like all the others and that by accepting to give her life, I would also have accepted to dig deep inside myself in a new and not entirely painless way. There are aspects of her that have helped me to face certain ghosts of the past: I can say that she has served Y/N a lot in this sense."  
  
Q: Yeah, let's talk about Y/N. As has been reported in various tabloids, the last few months have not been easy for you.

"Let's say that I had much better moments."  
  
Q: Do you feel like talking about it?

"Now yes, but for a long time it was difficult to do it. I let others do it for me and make up a lot of lies about it. The only truth is that after the birth of my child I started experiencing severe problems with stress, insomnia, lack of appetite. I often had the feeling of not even being able to take care of my daughter or myself. I felt only this enormous exhaustion, which did not leave me the strength to do anything, not even to think. As much as I refused to admit it, I was suffering from postpartum depression, a very common condition that is often underestimated. Many women experience the same thing but do not know how to behave, they are afraid to talk about it with their loved ones because they are ashamed and would just like to be happy with that gift that is motherhood."  
  
Q: But if you are here today it is to testify that you can get out of it. You came out of it.

"Yes, but it took time and a lot of help."  
  
Q: In your case it wasn't just depression. We recall that last year you were the victim of an accident on the set in which you had suffered a bad head injury, when you were already waiting for your daughter.

"Although it had been a long time, the consequences of the accident recurred after the birth of the child. It was as if my body had decided to give in completely at that moment."  
  
Q: Many photos of that period have been published. What do you remember?

"Oh not much... I was confused, I suffered from very strong headaches and I did nothing but abuse painkillers, which didn't even allow me to be with my daughter. I had the feeling of no longer having the strength to do anything, I had come to weigh only 46kg and I did nothing but watch my back. I felt the pressure of the judgment of others and I didn't even notice that it was my most severe judgment."  
  
Q: You were also hospitalized for a few weeks to detox, right?

"Yes, this is the first time I agree to talk about it but I think it's time to get out of the shell. It's been talked about so much in the last few months, I found so many absurdities written on my behalf but also many real things, so now it's useless to deny. I believe that what happened to me could happen to so many people who do not find the strength to react. I had reached a point where I could not even recognize myself in the mirror. Motherhood had become a nightmare and I did not allow people to help me, because I thought I could solve everything by myself. In reality I was just very scared, I didn't realize I wasn't lucid and therefore could become a danger for me and especially for my daughter. From that moment I realized that I needed to get back my life for her, for my daughter but above all for myself."  
  
Q: And there is no doubt that you are a strong woman.

"I wouldn't say that, maybe only a little stronger than before. Anyone who knew me a couple of years ago would have had the impression of me as a rather boring woman. I've always called myself a nerd, a chronic lazy. But a child changes you inside, makes you understand things about yourself and your personality, which you would never have imagined before. Now I'm definitely not less boring, but I know I have a purpose in life, to be a better person. My mother was a great example for me, I could not allow my laziness to ruin the memory that my daughter will have of me forever."  
  
Q: As you mentioned before, the American tabloids certainly did not spare themselves on your story. This year we witnessed a real media bombardment of your person and your private life.

"What should I tell you? They did their job... What they were paid for. I've always been used to letting these kinds of opinions slip through me, since the time of my first film, when all that seemed to matter was my breast. (laughs) When one experiences moments of fragility, however, it becomes difficult to continue to be strong and not to be struck by gratuitous evil. I think it is useless to continue to pretend nothing happened, anyone knows very well that such a fury is not accidental in our world, but I had to accept it as a price for my work choices and not. I've always been a bit of an awkward person."  
  
Q: Are you saying there's someone who hatched a plot against you?

"I'm saying that everyone has to deal with their conscience and that taking it out on a weak is never a full victory."  
  
Q: But now you are no longer weak.

"Now no, maybe even those articles helped me react. Maybe they just made me understand that these means are very powerful and that words can ruin a person's life, as well as improve the lives of hundreds of others. Everything is in the way you decide to tackle things. I believe that if I kept hiding what had happened to me, I certainly wouldn't have canceled it. Maybe I would have ended up enlarging it even further and increasing the taboo that still revolves around these speeches. You suffer from depression, you suffer from addiction and you suffer from love... It is part of life."  
  
Q: Speaking of love, your story with Norman Reedus ended after only a year. Another cause for pain or another way to get talked about?

"To be honest, we would have done both without such an advertisement. Norman, like me, is a shy and reserved man. He particularly cares about his private life and tries to protect his family as much as possible. Of course, it was obvious that he was talking about it. We knew very well what we were going to meet."  
  
Q: But how are things between you? Is there a possibility of a 'getting back together' now that you feel better too?

"It's hard to think of letting it all go. When you love a person and you live with it through such intense moments, so incredible as we have lived, you feel like you've spent a lifetime there. But when you realize that a relationship only risks hurting you, the other person and the life you have created together, then I believe it is better to preserve what is beautiful and not to ruin everything. Norman and I will always be connected, we have a beautiful daughter who looks more like us every day."  
  
Q: Do you feel like saying something about the voices that want your daughter's father and his old Ex together? (actress C/N)

"I think I am the least indicated person." (she smiles, looking down) "All I have learned so far is that you should not force yourself on others too much. Norman and her are two similar spirits. They have been chasing each other for some time and who knows... It was probably fate that they found themselves again."  
  
Q: And for you then? Should we expect any new love on the horizon?

"I don't know." (she smiles embarrassed) "I just got out of an important story and I don't think I can decide when my heart will be ready to fall in love again. Sometimes a good friend's smile is enough to make it start beating again..."  


  
"Hey, what are you doing?"

Norman snapped to attention closing the magazine. He felt as if Y/N had discovered him with his hands in the jam jar.

"Nothing, I... I found it there on the ground... It looked out of your purse!"


	68. Chapter 64

Y/N got up from the chair, standing up with a groan.  
Norman saw her approaching and it was natural for him to hide the magazine, knowing full well that she would not believe he was reading it for pleasure. He hated those feminine things, full of advertisements and badly retouched photos.  
Y/N smiled, taking it from his hands and flipped through the pages again until she reached her photos.

"I look even more crazy! Look at my hair here!"

She was playing the situation down, she always did it when she was embarrassed.  
Recognizing this small weakness made him soften, as well as that strained smile on his face felt by pain and fatigue.  
Y/N walked away, leaving the magazine now closed on the crumpled sheets. She wrapped her arms around her chest and leaned against the glass, watching the girl inside the aseptic room.  
Norman remained silent for a few moments, mentally reviewing the sensations he just felt when reading that interview.  
He did not expect that Y/N would speak so sincerely of her dark time; still less did he expect those words about him and their love.  
Something had stirred as he quickly read those words. He imagined her sitting at the cafe table in New York, with her dark glasses and rings, shining in the light of the lamps.  
For a moment he had seen the woman he had reached at the hotel almost two years before and then the one who had hit him in the bathroom of a too luxurious house, shouting that he would never take her child away from her. And finally the one who had called him from that same table and slammed the phone in his face for one of his jokes too.  
Now he understood why Y/N had taken so much, it must not have been easy for her. He felt like a fool for not realizing she was looking for him, as she had done that night, when he thought he was losing his mother.  
Y/N was right when she said that they had experienced such intense emotions, that they were united as if they had known each other all their lives. They had lost so much on that trip but they had also gotten more than they ever imagined.  
And now it was not him who threatened her to take her angel away but it was destiny itself, which was putting them to the test again.  
Y/N had proved stronger than him at that juncture; after the first moment of discouragement she had pulled out all the strength, of which she spoke in those lines.  
She had returned to being a mother, the same fighter, who had refused the first head operation to protect her child. And now it was her again, that of the photos on the beach, the one that had realized that something was not okay just by kissing her daughter's forehead.

Norman got up from his chair to approach her.  
Only a few steps and he found herself at her side but Y/N didn't turn around to meet his gaze.

"I didn't deserve what you said in the interview..."  
His voice was deeper as he said those words not without difficulty.

Y/N smiled, narrowing her eyes.  
"I know.", she replied as always, teasing him. Then she continued in a more subdued tone.  
"I think it's time for everyone to look back and be honest... Especially with yourself!"

"I know you won't care, but I'm very proud of you... Of how you came out of this whole story with your own strength. I just wanted to be present..."

The man let those words fall between them, as well as a veil. He had been silent for too long.

"But you have been... In your own way you have been! Do you think that if you hadn't told me those things, I would have been able to get back up there?"

Norman wasn't happy to hear that.  
"Again... I think about it day and night now! How many times will I have to repeat to you that it was not my intention to be so hard?"

"You don't have to... Who knows, maybe only you understood that I needed to be taken head on! I think it also helped me what happened that night... If I didn't... If I didn't make the accident, maybe I would have bought more pills to replace the ones you had thrown away. Perhaps I would have continued to lock myself up at home and freaked out and no one would never have discovered the truth about therapy!"

Y/N finally turned to him and saw the same torment that morning at the hospital, when she had chased him away from the room. Perhaps that expression had remained painted on his face since then but she had tried not to look at him, knowing that it would be too difficult to part with it.

"Yeah... Let's say things the way they are, it was probably Orlando who saved you, not me."

The bitter taste of that admission caused him to withdraw a little more.

"No, it was our daughter who saved me! If it hadn't been for her, not even Orlando or all the doctors in the world would have made it!"

It was true, Y/N was always able to tell the truth, even when it was not the one that the others expected from her. Orlando probably knew that truth too.  
For a second Norman remembered the last sentence he had read in the newspaper before he was interrupted: The smile of a friend... Of course Y/N was referring to the handsome actor.

"And he... Is he coming here?"

"Yes. I think he will be here tomorrow. Unless it is not too late..."

"Hey no, don't even say that! You heard the doctor..."

Y/N closed her eyes, covering them lightly with a wave of her hand.  
"Yes... He said that these are the decisive hours, that's what he said!"

"No, he didn't only say this! The fever has subsided and tomorrow morning they will evaluate whether to remove the oxygen."

The woman's hand lowered from her head to the glass, as if trying to touch the child through that cold surface.  
"If at least they would let us in... If we could make her feel we're here! Who knows how scared she'll be when she wakes up... You know she's afraid at night..."

She tightened her lips, trying desperately not to give in again.  
Norman swallowed hard and decided to put his arm around her.  
He was feeling the same things, he was thinking that their little girl was too small to stay in there alone and he was thinking that he had spent too little time with her to lose her. And then he thought of the fact that he had not eaten her food that day and that no one had sang the lullaby to her; but above all that the mask was too big for her and for her delicate face.  
Y/N hid her face in the hollow of his neck and Norman felt his breath become more labored in tears. He held her close to him with both arms, realizing that his body seemed made to match the woman's perfectly. Perhaps that was the right definition of love.  
He kissed her hair, feeling her thin hands cling to his shirt.

"I would like to be able to pray at these moments... I would like to feel closer to her or God or whatever is up there... And I would like to find relief and be able to put my life in his hands. But I can't... I can't think of a God that wants all this... I just can't."  
He lowered his face and shook his head.

In the past, when Mingus had been sick, he had felt the same feeling of helplessness and even then he had trusted in faith. But this time it didn't seem to help him.  
He felt the look of Y/N, who was looking for his and convinced himself to raise his face.  
When their eyes met Norman didn't lose his balance: 8t was happening again.

"She'll make it... I promise you!", the woman whispered, stroking his cheek moist with tears.

Norman nodded, closing his eyes and leaving his face in her hand, to follow the movement.  
He needed her, he needed her to say those words, even if they weren't true, even though her Y/E/C eyes said he was afraid, just like when their baby was about to be born and they tried to be strong.

"I promise...", Y/N repeated. But this time she did it for herself.


	69. Chapter 65

"Mr. Reedus?"

Norman narrowed his eyes, recognizing his name in the distance.

"Excuse me... Mr. Reedus!"

He felt something move and he remembered that Y/N had fallen asleep in the armchair next to his, with her head resting on him.

"Not... I'm not Mrs. Reedus..."  
He heard her mutter immediately before opening her eyes and finding herself in front of the white coat and the doctor's wrinkled and excessively tanned face.  
Yeah, she had never become Mrs. Reedus.  
Y/N stood up, adjusting her light shirt and letting Norman's jacket fall to the floor.  
It hurt her everywhere, after all the hours on the plane and the others spent on those damn hospital chairs. But what was she complaining about? They had even given her a some more chairs, it was her fault that she had fallen asleep in the man's arms.

"So... Doctor?"

Norman's incredibly low voice had already hit the doctor; both tried to decipher his all-too-professional expression.

"We can be optimistic... The child has passed the night and now it seems she can breathe without oxygen."

They both breathed a sigh of relief, as if a large boulder had just melted from their hearts.  
Norman felt Y/N's hand tighten in his own and returned it with equal force.

"But I must tell you that she is not out of danger yet... The fever is still high, this means that the antibiotics are not enough and we will also have to introduce corticosteroids to reduce inflammation in the meninges."

"So you mean cortisone?", Norman asked point-blank. He knew very well that he did not have to be so irritating with the doctors but he could not take it any more than those words and half-explanations.

"Yes, cortisone. It is the only anti-inflammatory that is quite powerful and rapid."

"But will she make it? I mean, he started breathing again on her own..."  
Y/N was about to burst, they couldn't give her good news and then immediately take away her hope.

"Yes, it's a good sign. But we can not forget that the child is still very small and that her immune defenses, although quite high, are much weaker than those of an adult. It is likely that she was lucky and that we took her in in time but I must also admit that meningitis of this type can lead to serious consequences."

Why was he continuing? Why couldn't he just make them hope that their child would overcome the disease?  
Norman did not have the courage to intervene and ask for clarification. He only gripped Y/N's hand, which spoke in his place.

"What kind of consequences?"

It seemed to her that she had returned to the year before, when their private doctor listed the risks that their daughter could get, if she had done the surgery.

The doctor now looked down at the file.  
"In some cases, meningitis can cause neurological damage, especially to such small subjects. There is also the possibility that other pathologies develop, such as deafness, vision problems and seizures. But in most cases, if treated in time, the patients recover completely."

The last sentence had not helped them, although the effect wanted to be that.

"Can we see her now? One at a time... Just for a few minutes?"

Y/N had observed the nurses who took turns next to her baby. She had seen them put on their gowns and masks to enter the little room. From that night she could not think of anything but that.  
The doctor hesitated, moving his gaze from the glass to the woman, who prayed to him with wide eyes.

"Okay, I agree. But it is necessary that you enter one at a time and that you wear all the sterilized material, which our nurses will provide you. It is important that no germs of any kind enter. For now you won't be able to pick her up. You can talk to her and shake her hand but don't exaggerate, she could get even more agitated."

Y/N and Norman weren't even listening to his words anymore, they were just galvanized by the news the doctor had just given them: They could have entered the room in turn and let their child feel all the warmth of her family.  
Norman looked at Y/N and that moment it was enough to understand that she would be the first to enter.  
Only the idea of seeing them together through the glass made him feel better, like when he was thousands of miles away, but he knew that his child was with it's mother and for that he felt at peace.  
The clench of their hands melted as Y/N followed the doctor and the nurse into the decontamination room.  
Their eyes were locked for an unforgettable moment, before the door closed again and he found himself alone, looking at his baby and feeling the excitement growing.  
The minutes of waiting seemed eternal, before the door opened again and two identical figures entered the dim room.  
Norman would not have been able to tell which was Y/N and which the nurse, since he did not even see their shoes, covered by the sterilized material they got.  
Then, however, a trembling hand approached the child's with an excessive caution, until it was tightened. He could see the tears shining in the woman's eyes and he could sense the words, seeing the breath behind the mask.  
Y/N raised a fleeting glance over him and Norman read her gratitude and love in her Y/E/C eyes, the same one he had seen that special morning, when he had put their daughter in his mother's arms for the first time.


	70. Chapter 66

Y/N left the room, taking off her coat.  
There was an unbearable heat in there but it was worth it. She recognized her and, although a bit dazed, she smiled at her, making her recover every minute of fatigue felt during those two days.  
She was surprised not to find Norman waiting for her out there, she was sure she had seen him a moment before behind the glass.  
After she left the room she was a little dazed by the voices of the people.

"Y/N, here you are!"  
Mingus had run to meet her with one of his smiles, which not even Y/N could resist.

"So?", Norman approached, followed by Mingus and his mother.

"She smiled at me..."

It was the only thing she could answer. She was intimidated by that family reunion, but somehow also heartened by the fact that Norman had his closest loved ones next to him.  
This said a lot about his Ex-Wife and the opinion that Y/N had developed about her. She had to be really tied to the man to be one of the first to attend there.  
Y/N tried not to cross the woman's eyes, she wasn't sure she could stand up to another mother, without bursting into tears again.  
Norman smiled back at her, you could see that he was dying to get into that room too.

"Can we see her too?", Mingus urged now, who must have made a huge effort to be on his feet at that time of morning.

"I don't think so... No one can enter the room except the family members."  
The questioning look of his son immediately made Norman understand that he had done something wrong. They were familiar. More familiar than that.

"We will ask the nurses... You can probably see her from the glass outside too.", Y/N finally said, looking for some of the nurses.

Instead she intercepted two known eyes, which immediately gave her a sense of relief. It had been like this since day one.

"Orlando!"

She ran to him, knowing she should have stayed in front of the others.  
They had been waiting to see the girl for hours, but it was as if his presence alone could reassure her. Sometimes Y/N herself wondered if their relationship was not a little sick, an eternal relationship between two best friends, in which she could not take a step without the support of the man.  
Orlando's face cleared as he recognized her among the people.  
He wore a light gray suit; he had certainly arrived directly from the airport. The dark hair, a little shorter than usual, was combed back and left that eternal baby face uncovered.  
Y/N let herself be surrounded by his embrace, cursing herself because she could no longer hold back her tears.

"So? How are you? Did you see her already?"

"Yes... Yes they just let me in. But I don't know if-..."

The man cut her off abruptly.  
"Yes she will make it. How much have you already overcome? Meningitis is cured, fatal cases are only a scarce percentage and in any case it would have already happened... Really Y/N, if she passed the night it means that the worst is over!", he answered, looking over to Norman.

"Norman..."  
The man's gaze rose on that of the man behind Y/N, who looked at him with an ill-concealed hatred.

"Orlando... Thanks for coming."

"Your people are there too...", Orlando said, recognizing the other figures left on the sidelines, studying him with curiosity.

Norman cleared his throat with slight embarrassment.  
"Yes... They were asking me if they could come over."

Orlando looked at Y/N not knowing what to answer.  
"Well... I don't think there will be any problems."  
Said that he walked over to the chairs, getting out of his jacket.

"Don't do that Norman!"  
Y/N hit him weakly. She didn't want to fight, but that attitude bothered her.

"So what?"  
Norman drew his most innocent expression and Y/N decided to let it go.  
He went back to his son to finally give him the news to get ready to enter the room.  
With one ear he tried to concentrate on the sweet words, which Orlando exchanged with Y/N. He asked her if she wanted a coffee and what he should bring her to change.  
These were his tasks, not those of the doctor.  
His...

He tried not to turn around, closing the door behind him.  
He didn't have to think about it, they were absolutely out of place thoughts in that context; Orlando had no importance at this time, all that mattered was that he was about to see his little daughter.


	71. Chapter 67

"Okay, go now..."

Y/N forced Orlando to break away from her to allow him to go home. That afternoon he would work, which implied the fact that she would catch a glimpse of him before he started.  
As soon as he saw him disappear behind the elevator doors she felt slightly lost.  
She was alone again in that waiting room just like the night before, but now the worry was even greater, because she knew what her daughter was going to meet.  
She looked down at the glass full of coffee, but didn't drink it. She took a few steps, she didn't even know what she was doing. She just had to wait.  
Y/N now put her hand to her face to go over her head, which was bursting. In her haste she had left the painkiller for headaches at home, but now she knew how to handle that pain without going mad.  
Perhaps a breath of air would have helped her feel better.  
So she walked towards the bar, which opened onto a large terrace, which dominated the entire city. It was early in the morning, the sun was not yet so scorching and the air moved the trees slightly.

She searched the bag for a cigarette, remembering only then not to have one.

"Beautiful interview!"  
The soft, almost whispered voice startled her. Y/N hurried to hide the corner of the magazine, sticking out of her purse.

She knew perfectly well who it was, but she didn't even have the courage to raise her head to look at her face.

"Oh... Thanks... I didn't think you would have read it!", she said in an insecure voice.

"Of course... I love those magazines."

Norman's Ex-Wife approached, handing her an open pack of cigarettes.

"Thank you.", she merely said, taking one and making it light up by the woman.

"It was very sincere. There are few women who have the courage to say what you said."

Y/N was slightly dazed by those words.  
Yet she didn't like compliments, she never knew how to react to them, much less she knew how to behave with that woman, whom she had always admired and feared.  
The woman seemed to be expecting her embarrassment and continued clutching the wide shawl that covered her shoulders.

"I know how cruel they can be with us... They can trigger fears and weaknesses, which we didn't even imagine we had and they always end up ruining everything. I too have been a victim... But I didn't have the courage to do it..."

She threw out a cloud of smoke from her nostrils and continued, looking at the ash from the cigarette that fell to the ground.

"I never managed to come out and say: Well, now that you have indulged yourself with your assumptions, it's up to me to tell you how things really are, without the usual half-politically correct phrases. But you Y/N, you silenced them all!"

Now that she said those words to her, with her hollow face and irresistible mouth, Y/N saw her as an extremely fragile woman, more than she had ever imagined.  
She then took a drag on her cigarette and decided to talk.  
"I didn't want to silence them... I wanted to silence my head. If I had not spoken, I would have ended up going mad. I'm too good at hiding and often this ends up hurting others."

The woman nodded without looking at her. Both preferred to get lost in the landscape.

"You mean Normam? He... Norman suffered a lot..."

Y/N remained impassive. She certainly didn't want to talk about it with her.

"You know, when you got together... Or rather when they started circulating all those rumors about your pregnancy... Well, then I told myself I was right, I knew my Ex too well to fool me that it wouldn't happen again. I thought that he had been lying to me for all that time... That the story with his girlfriend back then was just a farce and yes... I have to admit it made me feel a great pain. I thought: Here, my Norman has become one of those pathetic middle-aged men, who delude themselves that they rejuvenate putting a child into the world with the first one that happens to pass by! I thought you set him up."

"You weren't the only one...", Y/N commented, knowing very well what the woman was talking about. How many times she had said the same thing in her crises over her partner's past.

"Yeah... And instead he was the one who framed you...", the woman smiled and continued.  
"I think it was Mingus who made me change my mind..."

"Mingus?"  
Y/N raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yes, really! With Norman's girlfriend he got along, of course... But it was never the same thing. Suddenly the wicked stepmother had become only Y/N and the discomfort for the separation between me and his father had turned into something else. You know, things started to get serious between me and my boyfriend almost immediately, but we were in Los Angeles, he rarely saw him and he was never jealous of her... But for his father it's different... And yet he never felt threatened by you."

"I think this is only due to Norman."  
Y/N put out her cigarette before it ended, hoping that this conversation would end as soon as possible too.

"Yeah, Norman...", the woman concluded, making her understand that she appreciated her behavior.

Y/N was about to return, she didn't know what else to say and every time she heard the name of the man from that voice, she felt a slight pain in her stomach. The woman's lips had been making that sound for a lot of years.

"Y/N? You'll see that she'll make it... Your daughter will be well again."

There was the look she didn't want to see. That of a mother, who understood perfectly what she was feeling. She didn't want to feel so close to that woman, whose presence she had feared for so long.  
She swallowed, trying not to give in.

"I... I hope so...", she finally managed to say with difficulty.  
She felt her approaching, she wasn't looking at her but she knew that the woman was only a few steps away from her and tried to infuse her with strength.

"Norman is not always what you expect... He gives up, especially if it comes to such strong feelings. He is not used to being alone with himself, he is afraid of it and... Often he ends up hiding and always falling back into the same stupid mistakes."

Y/N shook her head and narrowed her eyes.  
"No... No, he is very good! He has always been good with us..."

"Yes, even with us... But he is more fragile than he wants to appear and often lets others take advantage..."

Y/N suddenly felt uncomfortable and embarrassed.  
The woman was clearly referring to his girlfriend, the same woman who had once replaced her in the heart of her partner.

Y/N sought a quick and painless way out.  
"He knows what he does... Don't underestimate him!"

"You know what I mean... I never underestimated him. But he is still suffering for you... It's so obvious! You can't let a moment of weakness send everything down to hell."

Now Y/N would have answered. She would tell her that she and Normam had done the same. But then she crossed those big eyes and was forced to take it all back. They were the eyes of a woman who no longer suffered, she and Norman had not thrown away anything, it had not been a fit of anger, it had not been betrayal... They had tried to save what could be saved for their son and in the end they had said enough for their good too.  
And what could she say instead?  
She who still had a fast beating heart every time she saw him. She who every day found small similarities between him and their child and remained enchanted for hours studying her.  
She still suffered, and as much as Orlando reassured her and made her feel protected... Well, he would never have been Norman.

"Mom... Mom she smiled! I think she recognized me!"

Mingus had run out, interrupting their conversation.  
"Sure... You kept banging on the glass like a monkey! It's a miracle that she hasn't started crying!"

Norman reached them only then, his eyes shining with the emotion he had just experienced.  
Y/N was the first to meet his gaze and realized that, now that he had seen their daughter, he was even more afraid of losing her.  
The man seemed to notice only at that moment what was happening. His Ex-Wife and Y/N were talking together? Their expressions spoke for them, Norman knew them both so well by now.

"I... I think I'll call my parents now! Excuse me..."

Here it was, that was a typical Y/N move; how every damn time she had managed to slip away from a difficult situation. They saw her walk away quickly towards the bar and then away along the corridor.  
Norman sighed in perplexity and lit a cigarette, pushing his gaze to the landscape.

"You are just two idiots!"  
The unexpected comment of his Ex-Wife caught him off guard.

"Mom!", Mingus rebelled, feeling the same words very well.

"No honey, I didn't mean you.", the woman smiled, stroking her son's hair and glanced quickly at the man.

Norman knew she was referring to him and Y/N, and that was important...


	72. Chapter 68

"It is not necessary that you both stay here. As you have seen, things could be slow and it makes no sense for you to spend another night in the hospital."

The doctor was standing next to them, who was updating them on the situation.  
The child's condition was still stationary, which meant that she hadn't got worse but that there hadn't even been any noticeable improvements, as they had hoped.  
Y/N and Norman had been in there for twenty-four hours now and they looked at each other without speaking. Neither of them wanted to leave but both would have liked the other to rest and go home at least for the night.

"Yes Y/N, you go! I'll call you if there should be any changes."  
Norman's voice sounded unusually hoarse, perhaps because of too many cigarettes or maybe just the stress and tiredness of that endless day.

"No... No I'm not going anywhere!"

"Y/N, think about it, you can't do anything here except look at her through some glass!"

The woman cast a fiery look at the Doctor.

"All right, gentlemen... I think I will go home instead. Another good Doctor will be on duty tonight, so you can talk to her about anything. My advice, however, is not to overdo it, your daughter is absolutely in good hands and needs two strong and awake parents."

"Thank you doctor, good evening!"

The doctor shook hands with his colleague and watched the two shocked faces there front.

"You guys look like two zombies... I understand the situation but you can't sleep in a corridor tonight too! Miss, you didn't really sleep since how long? Two days? Three?"

"Yeah, I understand... Give us only a moment!"

She hadn't been kind but it seemed that only Norman could understand how she felt in there.

The doctor raised both hands in surrender.  
"Okay, I'm going back downstairs to change... If you want in, in ten minutes I'm ready!"  
Having said that he visibly turned away frustrated.

"He is right... You should pay attention to him every now and then!"

Norman waited until the man had disappeared before saying those words in his defense.  
"Me? Since when would I listen to someone?", Norman smiled but Y/N was just serious and worried.

"It's been too long... The medicines won't work!", he  
heard her say on the verge of tears.

"Tomorrow we'll be with her again. Or do you want her to see you with that face?"

This time the woman smiled a little bit, she had to be really unwatchable.

"I couldn't sleep at home anyway..."

"I know... Oh, sorry give me a second!"  
Norman walked away to answer the phone.

"Yes, tell me!"

"Norman I'm down here with your men... Are you coming down? There are a lot of people!"

"Shit..."

Norman pushed his hair back from his face, looking up at the sky. Why were they already there?

"No... No I'll stay. Tell the others to go home..."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone.  
"Perfect... You'll stay there? Two nights in a row?"

"Sure, or where do you want me to go?"

"Okay... Sorry, it's okay... Tell me, do you want me to come up? I could be with you."

It was nice of his manager to make that proposal but Norman wasn't convinced that it was a good idea. The thought of staying there with her had something wrong about it. 

"No... No thanks, there is no need. Tomorrow I will go home anyway for a shower..."

"Why, will Y/N stay with you?"

He didn't like that tone at all. No, Y/N would have gone home but in any case it would have been legitimate for her daughter's mother to be next to him that night.  
Norman now did something he had never done except in extreme cases. A childish thing he would regret.

"Hey? Hey are you there? ... I can't hear you..."

He heard the woman's voice calling him repeatedly and trying to change position, convinced that there really wasn't enough connection. And finally he hung up.

"What's up?", Y/N asked as soon as she returned to his side.

"Nothing... My manager told me that people are already crowded down here. It must be a sign... Better stay closed in here!"

Y/N nodded, she really needed a warm bath and a few hours in a real bed. And then he knew the man would call her at any time.

"What about a last cigarette?"  
He offered them, taking the bag of tobacco from his jacket pocket.

"Why not.", Y/N answered, walking toward the exit. The hospital was now empty. The various visitors and only the nurses and the attendants remained.  
They went out onto the terrace and immediately noticed the small crowd, which had gathered below, waiting for Normam to come out. Many of them had signs and gifts, probably for the child.


	73. Chapter 69

"Come here!"

Norman flattened himself against the wall in the hope that no one would look up and recognize him. It would have been even worse to have to greet the fans at such a time.  
He held out a cigarette to Y/N and prepared to prepare one for himself, when he was distracted by the troubled exclamation of the woman.

"Hey but that-?"

"What?"  
He leaned out slightly to the terrace, hoping that the light of the sunset would obscure it.

"No nothing... I was convinced that I had already seen that one guy down there..."

"But which one?"  
Norman tried to focus on the various figures.

"The one who talks to your Manager... The guy with the dark shirt..."

Y/N was desperately searching in all the drawers of her memory, to understand who that familiar face was. She knew it had to be important, it was as if she had felt the ground collapse under her feet as soon as she crossed that face.  
Norman's manager was in a corner, away from the fans and away from the main entrance too, and seemed very taken by that excited conversation. The man had a threatening attitude but it could be deduced that they both tried to speak in a low voice.  
Norman recognized a note of panic in the woman's expression, her proverbial confidence seemed to falter as she cast furtive glances around them for fear that they would see her.  
There was something strange about the whole situation, something that alarmed her.

"He... Oh fuck... He is it!"

"He?"

Y/N dropped her cigarette to the ground.  
"Norman that's him... He was with them! Do you understand? He... He was watching me, he was following me everywhere... I didn't imagine it, it wasn't my head! He was there!"

"But where? Y/N I don't understand anything right now!"

Y/N had clung to his arm and now her hands looked like claws.  
For a moment the man had the feeling of seeing the same woman again, from whom he had thrown the medicines away only a few months before.

"The paparazzi... They were everywhere!"

Norman turned his attention back to the strange couple, who were now arguing. He wanted to hear what they were saying as he saw that his manager was trying to leave.

"A paparazzi...", he repeated aloud, as if talking to himself.  
His mind was working frantically to put some pieces back together, which until then had seemed insignificant.

"Norman where are you going?"

Y/N saw him still having the cigarette in his hand and the smoke coming out from his mouth. He looked furious as he headed for the nearest elevator.

"Norman?"

The man pawed in front of the elevator, repeatedly pressing the call button.  
"Oh... Fuck!"

She saw him run towards the stairs and quickly go down one ramp after another, until he reached the entrance, where they found a series of faces mesmerized by their arrival.

"Norman you can't...", she tried to shout but being out of breath made her words die in her throat.

As soon as the sliding doors opened there was a roar and she, taken aback, found himself having to face some crazy fans.  
Norman didn't even seem to notice and took the side of the structure to find himself face to face with his manager and the one he could now recognize.

"What the fuck is that guy doing here?"

The woman's eyes grew huge at the sight of the actor and his threatening expression. Norman had never been so angry in her presence and she was convinced that she had never seen him in such a state.

"I didn't know... He was trying to get in, when I recognized him..."  
The woman took a step back away from the paparazzi, who instead welcomed him with his usual unctuous attitude.  
"Oh Mister Reedus, how nice to see you again!"  
He held out his hand with too much ostentatious cordiality.

Norman pushed him away with a violent gesture, trying not to look at his expression that was always so satisfied.

"Wasn't it enough already? Do you want more?"

He was one of the photographers, for which he had gotten into trouble years before: The most disgusting and intrusive man he had ever known. A petty gossip prostitute.

"Hey calm down... I see that with age the spirit did not fade... I was just having an interesting chat with your manager..."

"You're just a slimy worm. Get out of here before I call the police!"

Yet the precious camera remained at his side, without him taking advantage of it to shoot a burst of flash at him.

"Go away... You heard me!"

Norman felt the anger mounting even more at the thought that the man might have disrespected one of his people or worse, he might have put his hands on them. It was one of the first times he felt that sense of protection towards his female manager too, who was usually so good at defending herself and defending him too.

"Not so fast. Someone has to pay off debts."  
The photographer's voice managed to give as much nausea as his appearance. Norman would have liked to put his hands around his neck; he regretted not hurting him in the past.

"Oh look who we have here? The whole family together... Miss Y/L/N!"

"You? Bastard... You spied on me for months! It was you! It was you all the damn time!"

Y/N noticed herself shaking with anger as she finally found herself face to face with her own personal nightmare, one of the main causes of the turn the events had taken back then.  
She knew she was being followed, she knew she had to watch her back and she also knew that the pockmarked face was too present in her life. But as dazed and confused as she was at the time, she could not reconnect what now seemed so obvious instead. She wasn't crazy, she wasn't paranoid... That man existed and it was the same man who probably threw her over to the gossip sharks, slandering her and humiliating her to the end.

She saw him open both hands with a smirk on his face.  
"Bingo! She's not as stupid as you said, girl..."

"Shut up... Shut the fuck up!"  
It was the manager's angry reply.  
Norman had the feeling that he didn't understand what was happening.

"So we want to finish it or not? Come on, we don't want these two poor worried parents to wait."

At those words Norman turned to Y/N, who was no longer furious but only suffering as the words came out of the photographer's mouth.

"It's the language of business... I give something to you and you give something to me. I thought a professional of your caliber didn't need to take notes..."

The manager was backing away, unable to utter a word. That man had cheated her, continuing to blackmail her even when she had decided to stand back, seeing the terrible results of that whole situation.

"Stay away from her!"  
Norman had to make a superhuman effort not to beat him up. But this time it was Y/N who held him back.

"No Norman. Don't!"

"He did it... He really did it!"

Y/N's eyes were icy as she watched the woman and her accomplice, facing each other in unequal weapons.

"No! No... I don't even know what you're talking about... I don't understand what this idiot wants from me!"

She seemed to have resumed her usual pugnacious attitude but by now Norman had understood what was happening. Y/N's few words were enough to realize that it was all true: Norman's own manager had paid that man to follow her and put together that media psychodrama, which had led them to break up.  
He spent a few moments observing the woman, who continued to defend herself in a pathetic attempt to pass as the victim of the situation.  
He realized that he had been the first to be fooled by the photos, the articles, her. And then he saw himself at the party while he drained one whiskey after another and she told him that Y/N could be a danger to the child. Everything and each image carried another and another, to bring down the enormous castle of the woman's lies.  
Suddenly the woman's monologue stopped when, looking into Norman's eyes, she realized that it was useless to deny it.

"I can't believe it... I can't!"

"Please Norman! You have to listen to me... This is a hype... That guy... He's been blackmailing me for months. I tried to stop everything! You have to believe me!"

This time she was sincere. But it didn't matter now.  
Norman dodged the woman's hand, which wanted to hold him. He was disgusted with everything that was happening. He could not even think that it was him who asked her to solve Y/N's problem with the press while she was actually the promoter of everything.

"No... Don't touch me! Don't!"  
He couldn't say anything else. He just had to go back upstairs and avoid thinking about what was happening out there.

He took a few steps back, parting from the woman and tripping over Y/N's feet, who was right behind her. He turned and looked at her without saying a word and went off again to the main entrance with his head down.  
Y/N was as speechless as he was.  
It was one thing to suspect that there was a plot by the tabloids, another was to have the certainty that their paranoia were completely founded and that one person had not hesitated to destroy her life and her family.

"You have to believe me... At least you Y/N! I didn't mean to... I tried to fix it... Really..."

Y/N took a step away from being touched by the woman, who now looked at her with pleading eyes for the first time in her life.  
She raised her hands in surrender and shook her head to make it clear to the woman that she could do nothing anymore. It was too much.  
Y/N retraced her steps without running, without looking up. She didn't even realize the many voices, which called her name and Norman's.  
She climbed the stairs, counting them one by one and came to the waiting room in a time that seemed endless.

But Norman wasn't there.

There was no one.


	74. Chapter 70

The waiting room was now deserted. Neon lights began to flood every corner as the sun set in the valley.  
Y/N tried to think of the situation: She couldn't let herself be upset by something that had already happened. That part of her life had already ended and with her the fear of leaving the house, feeling all eyes on her and the certainty of being a victim of imaginary injustice.  
Now there was something more important, and they were not newspapers, nor embarrassing gossip sites. Now there was only her daughter, who had been struggling for hours and was alone there, without her parents.  
Suddenly she remembered that she would go home with Orlando but the minutes he had announced had already passed in all that fuss.  
The only thing left to do was to go back to the room and retrieve her purse so she could contact him.  
She entered without making any noise, knowing that it was one of the most delicate moments, the one in which for many hospitalized children the time came to sleep. Some of them had their mother by their side but many others, like her own daughter, were alone. Y/N felt her heart tighten, catching some lullaby as she passed.  
Fortunately, her daughter's room was isolated from everything else, probably because she needed the greatest care for her illness.  
She immediately spotted the handbag lying in a corner, right next to the chair where Norman had slept the night before. He saw that Orlando had already tried to call her and dialed the number to call him back.  
Only then did she notice an unusual movement coming from her daughter's room.  
Norman was in there, a nurse too.  
She blocked the call and tapped the glass, catching their attention.  
She gestured to him what he was doing in there and he signaled her to enter.  
Y/N found herself in difficulty, she who never even broke a rule, she knew all too well that they were not allowed to enter at night, nor could they be both in there.  
Norman insisted repeatedly showing her that he didn't care about the rules for once, so she decided to join him. In the end it was what Y/N wanted more than anything else in the world.  
They looked at each other for a few moments before she decided to listen to him and, looking around as if about to rob a bank, sneaked into the decontamination room.  
Their daughter was awake and tried to get up as soon as she recognized her mother, reaching out to her.

"No honey, I can't take you!"

It was painful to see her there in that cot without being able to hold her in her arms.  
Norman left her space and went to sit on the other side, not taking his eyes off the baby.  
Who knows how long it was since they were left alone, perhaps they had never done it since the birth of her, since Y/N had started to feel bad.  
They calmed her with their voices to make her sleep; Y/N was whispering one of some songs, while Norman's finger caressed her forehead and little nose with delicate gestures, as he was used to doing every night while he cuddled her.

"She sleeps...", the man finally murmured, without having the courage to break away from her.

"Should we leave?", Y/N asked worriedly.

"Just wait a moment."

Their eyes met for the first time. It was the only part uncovered above the white mask but it was also the only part needed to stay in touch.

"She's so calm... She doesn't even seem to be sick!"  
Y/N continued to be tied to that chubby hand that clung to her thumb.

Norman did not answer and began to touch her hair.  
They remained silent for an unspecified time.  
There were no fans, there were no cell phones and above all there were no photographers. What had just happened seemed millions of years away from that room, where every noise was muffled. It was like being in a huge bubble, in which there were only the three of them.  
Norman took a deep breath and finally gave voice to the thousand thoughts that crowded his head.

"I could only come here... It is absurd that a place of pain like this is also the only one, in which I can find some relief for now."

Y/N felt helpless. She couldn't do anything for him, she couldn't cancel everything that had happened and she couldn't even make their child feel better.

Norman continued, not expecting an answer.  
"I... I trusted her blindly... You understand? She's my manager, she has always been there... Always! We've known each other for years... I think I spent more time with her than with my own family and I never doubted her good intentions!"

His piercing blue eyes were fixed on his daughter's regular breathing but Y/N could sense the profound unease.  
She didn't even know what it meant to put so much trust to another human being. She didn't even trust herself.  
She tried to find the right words. It was hard to talk about a person she should hate with her whole being.

"She probably is only a woman in love... Everything she did was served to her on a silver plate."

Norman smiled at her failed attempt.  
"Don't try to defend her! It's useless..."

The hint of a bitter smile made his eyes narrow slightly.  
"If only I think of how many times we talked about her when we were together... How many times have you warned me about her feelings? You told me, remember? I can't believe she went so far!"

"She had to hate me so much..."  
Y/N tried to play it down but Norman didn't seem inclined to jokes.

"Yes, I can't believe it! She never dared to get between me and my Ex-Wife... And look, now with C/N, she even accompanies us in the evenings! It is so absurd! It's true... You and I had our problems but this is manipulating. Playing with people's lives. And not only with us."

His voice died between the beeps of the machines.  
Y/N understood that she was referring to their daughter, the only one who had really paid for all that history. Then the usual sensation returned like a stab in the back and she felt sick. Even Norman was still thinking about it. That was the most terrible part, the one for which they would never forgive the woman, even in a million years.

"I know it's my fault... Ours... We talked about it endlessly! But I can't help thinking that things could have gone very differently that evening, if I hadn't talked to her. Who knows, maybe nothing would have happened, maybe you would never have left."

Y/N tried to remove the thoughts of it, the accident and those months of hell locked in a hospital room.

"No Norman, I don't want to talk about it! It is how it is and it is over, it's history."

"That's true... It sure is the past now! And now you have Orlando..."

Y/N felt his blue eyes on her.  
"And you have your old-new girlfriend! It was always like that, remember? Maybe we just had to avoid all this suffering and raise our daughter like we do now."

"And what are we now?"

"We are two parents, trying to do the best for our child. Who knows, maybe one day we will be friends."

Norman didn't even think for a second that Y/N really believed in her own words.  
"Stop that! You know we've never been friends! We will never be!", he interrupted her, pointing at her a meaningful look, which Y/N once again escaped.

"Yes, we were! We could have behaved like adults and understood that we should not launch ourselves into such a reckless relationship. We were like two kids... If you had stayed with your girlfriend, who knows, we probably would have avoided so much suffering even for our daughter."

The man had the instinct to rebel against those words without any sense; from the beginning Y/N had exposed her concerns about a 'forced' relationship; she was the one who got caught up in the enthusiasm and insisted. But she could not deny her feelings, Y/N could not lie to him pretending not to feel something for him.  
He forced himself to calm down, focusing on his daughter's little mouth, which now moved in her sleep.

"I don't regret anything, Y/N! You know, if you didn't-..."

Y/N interrupted him abruptly, struggling to keep her voice low.  
"Shut up! Don't say it Norman!"

She didn't want him to keep reminding her that it was all her fault, that it was her who ran away again and said goodbye. She knew why she had done it and, despite struggling to stay away from him and seeing him again with his girlfriend, Y/N couldn't help thinking that if her feelings were really important to him, he wouldn't have thrown himself in the arms of another woman.

Norman was silent for a few moments, probably thinking the same things.

"Orlando is gone?", he asked in a much colder tone.

"Yes, I didn't even call him..."

"Do you love him?"

The eyes that Y/N suddenly raised on him, made him immediately understand that he should not have gone that far. He cleared his throat, trying to make up for it in a heavy tone.

"Well... He has always been in love with you. He's a good man... Orlando."

"Yeah... Orlando... Sometimes I don't think I deserve him either.", Y/N smiled, thinking how true those words were.

Orlando too was good a man, too patient and considerate. A man who had helped her without ever asking for anything in return: He had helped her, cared for her and loved her, even though she had always been in love with someone else.

"It's not true Y/N, you deserve it! You deserve the best…"

That voice. That damn voice, which each time made her melt and his blue eyes, which now risked paralyzing her. She could feel them burning on every inch of her skin, despite not having the courage to raise her face to meet them.  
She felt Norman's hand, which touched her own and hated him infinitely for that unexpected gesture.

Was he really telling her that the best wasn't him but Orlando?

"I thought I already had the best...", she decided to finally answer, with a voice full of sweet bitterness.

Norman was visibly struck by that shot against him masterfully.

"Oh no... I've never been the best and you know it! Maybe that's why you dumped me at least two or maybe three times."

He tried to smile at what must have been a joke but both were too involved to do so.  
Y/N withdrew her hand, moving it away from the man's.  
Norman wasn't trying to seduce her but he always had that power over her, that charisma that hit her in her stomach and made her hands feel sweaty and her body shivering.  
He was the best for her, she wanted to scream at her with all the breath she had in her lungs and she wanted to punch him for how he behaved. She would have liked to punch herself for that damn pride, which had prevented her from calling him back, even when she felt she needed him so much.

Y/N now finally moved. She touched with her fingertips her daughter's forehead. It was terrible not to be able to hold her.

"Are you leaving?"  
The man didn't expect that move. He wanted to keep talking to her all night, only the two of them and their little girl, locked in that room, away from the world.

"Yes, I'll take a taxi. Call me, Norman. Call me for anything okay? I'll see you in the morning... And then you will be the one to go home."  
She untied herself from her daughter's hand now and turned her back to them.

Norman waited for the door to close again and sighed, looking back at the little girl.  
"I wonder if I'll ever understand your mother..."

He then looked back at the way out and thought of how many doors Y/N had already slammed into his face.  



	75. Chapter 71

Y/N looked at the taxi, which moved away and walked along the path towards the stairs.  
She put the keys in the lock but was surprised to find that it was already open.  
She entered without taking the time to think about the possible danger she was running in; after all, she could have left it open in the bustle of the night before, when she had taken her daughter to the hospital.

When she put the handbag on the ground she immediately headed for the kitchen, seeing that the light was on.

"Orlando?"

She froze in the doorway of the room, recognizing the figure, who had his back to her.

"Hey... You're finally back home."

The man was perched on the high stool in front of the counter; his shoulders seemed to stood out even more in the tight gray shirt.  
Y/N approached him, printing a kiss on his cheek and went straight to the refrigerator to pour herself a drink.

"Yes, Norman stayed there for tonight... And there were already a lot of people crowded together out there."

"I saw them when I passed by them... But they didn't recognize me."

Y/N realized that there was something unusual about the man's expression: He looked sad and annoyed.

"Excuse me if I didn't got home with you... I tried to call you but you didn't answer me.", she tried to apologize, throwing down her glass of water.

"Because I didn't really want to talk..."

"Orlando, what's wrong with you? It was a hard day... I already apologized to you... I really am sorry!"  
She approached him, reaching for his face but he withdrew, leaving her speechless.

"Do you think that's why? Damn it... Look... It's not the right time for this right now. It was wrong of me to come here."

Orlando got up from the stool and walked towards the door.  
Y/N immediately followed him.

"What are you doing? Where are you going now? I just got home..."

"To my house."

She saw him take his jacket and how he got out without even turning around to look at her.  
Y/N stood in the middle of the living room of her house, while all the tiredness and fear accumulated seemed to fall even heavier on her.  
He had never known that side of Orlando's character. He looked like a different man, tormented by anger, which prevented him even from looking into her eyes.  
She pulled back her hair, remaining in that position for a few moments, with her eyes closed and her hands on her head. What was happening now? What was wrong? Yet she didn't have the strength to even think about that.  
Y/N locked the door and walked slowly towards the upper floor. She needed a hot bath, to wash away all the anguish and other feelings of the last few hours.  
When she was in that warm and hot water, she felt her body abandoning itself to the warm and relaxing touch of it. Yet her thoughts went back to her daughter again and she felt a knot in her throat. Her little girl was fighting a terrible battle and this time neither she nor Norman could do anything to help her. Nothing was possible right now, only waiting.  
She felt the tears burning behind her closed eyelids and let them finally come out, without any shame.


	76. Chapter 72

Norman blinked slightly, surprised by the touch of those soft lips on his.

"Hey sleepyhead..."  
His girlfriend's unmistakable voice made him return to the real world, in which his back asked for mercy for the nights spent away from a real bed.

"Hi...", he finally said, sitting up with a groan of pain.  
"What time is it?"

Looking around he recognized some of the nurses who were busy in the hospital.

"It's seven o'clock... If you knew what an effort it was to get in here! Luckily I got here because of Mingus."

Norman ran a hand over his face, trying to clear his head.  
"Mingus is still here? Where is his mother?"

"Yes, and she's out with her boyfriend... Don't worry, I didn't leave them alone!"

The man stood up, stretching and adjusting his crumpled shirt.  
He took a few steps toward the glass and looked at his daughter, who let herself be changed by the expert hands of the nurses.

"I guess they will have photographed you...", he said thoughtfully.

"Well yes... It was inevitable!"

By now their story back and forth was in the public domain, as was the fact that they lived together and that she frequented them, yet it still bothered him a little to think that people spied on them without retention, especially at a similar time.

"Look what I brought you."  
She handed him an inviting little bag.

"Thanks... But you shouldn't have! Soon I'll be back home... I really think I need a shower.", he said, wrinkling his nose as she stroked his messy hair.

"You have to rest a little Norman. Did you eat anything?"

Norman took her hand, bringing it to his lips.  
The woman was proving to be a perfect companion, caring and never intrusive. Despite all that what was happening, he was glad she was there at his side.  
Their eyes remained glued for a few seconds, when the sound of the door surprised them.

"Mister Reedus? Oh, I'm sorry..."

A nurse had just appeared in the waiting room and was now looking at them embarrassed.  
Norman smiled, seeing her in difficulty and approached her.  
"Don't worry, talk to me!"

"What's happening?"  
Y/N's apprehensive voice suddenly sounded like a detonation in the corridor.

Norman saw her throw a blank look at the other woman before focusing again on the nurse's words.  
"The doctor is waiting for you in his room. He needs to talk to you!"

Y/N and Norman looked at each other for a brief moment. That could mean anything but their spirits were full of fear. Norman knew how pessimistic the woman was in those situations, so he tried to keep control while they walked through the corridor quickly.  
Norman instinctively placed a hand on Y/N's back, which turned around in surprise, as if she didn't expect to find him back there.  
Finally a man dressed in white stopped in front of a door, looking at them with an encouraging smile.

"Hell I'm the nurse of the little miracles here! You can call me for anything... And while you're here already you could even give me a couple of autographs for my grandchildren..."

The nurse's face seemed to turn red; it was not difficult to understand why he worked there, he seemed to be made to entertain people.  
Norman looked at him puzzled but Y/N preceded him, taking the pen that he was holding out to them, and then handing it over with a tense smile.  
Norman's effort to appear calm was almost superhuman; the woman realized that her hands were shaking and that her already questionable handwriting was even more terrible than usual.  
The nurse finally had them seated inside an elegant office with warm beige tones and interesting antique prints on the walls. The doctor was a man with taste and that room reflected his calmness and sobriety.

"Oh, there you are! Please  
sit down!"

The old doctor shook both hands before sitting in his huge brown leather chair.

"So let's see..."

The two parents couldn't take their eyes off the slow, scrupulous gestures of the man, who now opened a thick medical file, probably belonging to their child.

"This morning's visit found a marked improvement in our patient's condition, which is thus considered out of danger!", he had said it all in one breath, as if he were reading a weather report.  
Yet it was great news! Wonderful news!

Y/N felt almost lacking in relief and was grateful to Norman's hand, who immediately reached her own, under the desk.  
The doctor continued, adjusting his coat and putting on his glasses.  
"However... We will have to keep her under observation for a few more days to avoid the onset of complications, such as blindness, seizures and kidney damage."

Norman waited for a few seconds, convinced that the man continued.  
He had already warned them of the consequences of meningitis but it hurt to hear each one of those words.

"So she'll be okay again?", he asked finally, sounding surprised.

"Probably! Your little girl is strong. It wouldn't surprise me if she could get home in less than a week! And now if you'll excuse me... I have to go on with the rounds of visits..."

The doctor got up and walked around the desk and they did the same, without even realizing he was sending them to the door.

"Now we just have to wait for her to fully recover. In the morning we will move her to the normal room's and start slowly with normal food! I'll call you when you can see her."

Norman and Y/N let their hands be shaken, thanking him with their smiles, until without even knowing how, they found themselves again in the middle of the corridor.  
Their eyes met and Y/N put her hand to her mouth, still feeling surprised.

"Oh hell... I can't believe it... I can't believe it!", she repeated through the tears, sinking her face into the man's embrace.

"It's over! It's finally all over...", Norman whispered, trying not to give in to the enormous emotion that the doctor's words had just given him. He felt his heart beating wildly as he held the woman tightly to him, kissing her hair and finally taking her face in his hands.  
They felt exactly as if their child had been born a second time that morning: They were euphoric, worried, exhausted... Their moved eyes met, getting lost in that multitude of feelings.  
It was like being back home, like finding your own self again after a very long journey.  
Y/N reached for the man's hands, caressing them and bringing them to her lips to gently touch them and wet them with her own tears.  
Norman was not convinced he was still breathing; he couldn't take his eyes off those lips, those hands, her.

"No, sorry... I'm sorry...", Y/N suddenly stammered, regaining control and taking a step away from him.  
"Excuse me..."

Norman adjusted his jacket with a visibly embarrassed look. What was he doing? His girlfriend was behind the door and Orlando? Well he could be in that hospital already or on his way.

"Now... Now let's go back there... I'll go immediately and tell my mother...", he forced himself to say.

He walked away quickly, feeling the light steps of the woman behind him but made an effort not to look back at her.  
They were happy, they were in heaven... But this did not give them permission to put everything back into question.


	77. Chapter 73

"Mom, don't go overboard with those crap, you'll end up making her sick!"

Norman good-naturedly scolded his mother; he knew all too well that the grandmothers had been invented to spoil the grandchildren. He too would have done the same with his own.

"Don't listen to it, honey... Ice cream does great! Do you like grandma's ice cream? Come on a little bit more."

She wasted no time and took the baby up again with another spoonful of ice cream.  
By now it was a couple of days that Norman's daughter had come out of the sterile room and, despite continuing the antibiotic treatment, her proverbial appetite was not long in coming back.  
Norman looked at his watch again, wandering around the room, where his mother had been hospitalized for a few weeks. Unfortunately her condition continued to fluctuate but, although age did not help her, the woman's spirit was still high.

"I'm waiting for Y/N to call me, okay? She promised she would call me as soon as she spoke to her agent... These days were so hectic, we had to cancel all the commitments! She's working on a very important project..."

He stopped suddenly, noticing his mother's expression.

"What's wrong, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because it was so long since I heard you talking about her. First it was all a 'she brings me the baby, she comes to take the baby'... You have become very close!"

She continued to focus on her granddaughter, who tried to take the spoon to eat alone at last.

"Just because of what happened!", was the dry response of the man.

Norman wasn't sure if his mother knew everything that had happened that year, since he had preferred to keep her in the dark about most of the problems he and Y/N had had. But his mother was a much smarter woman than he imagined.

"Sure... Because of your daughter!"

"Yes mom, because of her! Is it really so strange? We were about to lose her... It is normal that we talked about it and would meet!"

"You really miss her, don't you?"

"No I don't miss her... How can I miss her? Mom you know I don't want you to talk about it... I know you don't like C/N but you won't convince me to get back together with Y/N!"

Norman went back to taking care of the napkins before he stopped again. She was stronger than he was, he hated when his mother did that, when she was silent, as if she always knew a lot more about him. It literally drove him crazy.

"Mom, okay, what do you want to know?"

"Oh nothing..."

"I love Y/N, okay? But things between us didn't work. Because of a lot of reasons."

"You mean depression, medicine addiction, the accident... But where do you think she lives, Norman? Those articles couldn't have been avoided!"

Norman could not believe that his mother, the person to whom he was most attached to, had not said a word about that to him in all those months.

"Don't look at me like that... You know that I mind my own business! I would have liked to intervene... But with your wife back then I did it and look how it ended! You have no idea how difficult it is for a parent to witness certain things while remaining aloof."

Norman felt he was about to be moved by his mother's words.  
It was exactly like that, he was finally talking to her now but if he had never done it, she would not have insisted... He would have simply stayed by her side, just as he had done until then.  
He decided to confess, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his daughter in his arms as if that contact could infuse him with courage.

"I didn't think it would be so difficult..."

"Yes darling, I know."  
The woman's hands stroked his hair lightly as he struggled to stay focused on his little girl, making her play with a small toy.

"Everything collapsed...", he heard himself say softly and almost did not recognize himself.

"It's difficult for a woman to overcome a loss like that, Norman..."

The man pursed his lips, clearing his throat.  
"Yes, but Y/N cut me off, she blamed me! And to be honest, that's exactly what I think too... That's why I didn't insist, what happened that night was too serious."

"Oh... But do you hear what you say? How could it have been your fault? You were deeply in love with Y/N."

"Yeah... But it wasn't enough! She is now with that... With that Bloom."

"Do you really believe that Y/N is the same like she was before?", his mother asked.

"No, but at least she is happy! With Orlando she is happy... I see her, she is feeling better, she eats, she works... The woman I knew is back."

"She fought so hard to be like that again! Couldn't it have been because of herself, instead of the actor?"

"Yes of course... She was strong... But she didn't want me by her side.", Norman answered, looking into his mother's eyes.

"And your girlfriend? Do you know if that is real love?"

"She is a fantastic woman... She's sunny, sweet..."

"I still think it's different..."

"What's different? Mom you met her too, she is mature, she loves me... And then gets along with my boy."

"Y/N too."

"Yes, of course... But it's different, so many things are different... My girlfriend makes me happy. And above all she does not run away from every difficulty and does not continually reproach me for the mistakes of the past!"

"Then you have already given yourself an answer..."

Norman remained silent, reasoning on the words of his mother, who now told him to continue to be happy with now girlfriend if that was what he wanted. But something inside him rebelled.

"But with Y/N..."

"Look, I knew it... How predictable!"

"I am not predictable... I mean that everything went differently with her..."

"Well... You have a daughter together..."

"Yeah... Maybe that's just... Maybe you're right!"

He was disappointed, he always came back there. He had been an irresponsible to think of jumping into such a serious relationship, without even knowing it.

"No darling, I'll tell you what's there: Y/N is difficult, that's all! And it scares you so much... C/N has never been so complicated. Yes okay, you had to conquer her but you don't have to fight for her. Y/N yes... She's a hot head. So mild in appearance and so unmanageable in reality. I think that was why I liked her right away. And that's why you liked her too!"

"God... Look what you're doing Mom! Now you've turned into a psychologist too... That's crazy!"

Norman got up from the bed, taking his daughter in his arms, to get her to wash her mouth and her hands all covered in ice cream.

"Too bad you took her away from me now."

The answer came from far away, forcing him to smile. It was really true, he and his mother were very similar and not just physically.


	78. Chapter 74

"Orlando finally..."

Y/N entered the man's apartment, feeling immediately uncomfortable among those bare and completely immaculate walls, which gave her the impression of never having left the hospital.  
Orlando had welcomed her coldly, wearing unusually scruffy clothes.  
This was not how she expected his house, perhaps she imagined it as warm and sunny as the personality of the man. But instead nothing in there spoke of him and his story.  
She thought he probably hadn't yet had time to fix it and followed him into the living room.

"Can I know now what's wrong with you? I have been trying to talk to you for days but you disappeared into nothing, not even answering me."

"I was with some friends.", the man replied, without looking her in the eyes.  
It seemed that something inside him was suddenly broken and Y/N had not the slightest idea what it could be.

From the night he left her home, she was no longer able to contact him; he hadn't even shown up at work and he hadn't answered any of the messages, which she had left on his mobile phone.  
It was not like Orlando to have a similar attitude, Y/N knew him enough to understand that something was wrong.  
The woman approached, resting her purse on the couch and sitting next to him.

"Orlando, can you tell what's going on? I would have liked to talk to you... My daughter is feeling better..."

Orlando tilted his head to the side with an indecipherable grimace and turned on the TV. It was as if those words didn't sound right to his ears, as if there was something out of tune in all that conversation.  
Y/N had the instinct to place a hand on his shoulder but she held herself back; it was the first time that that happened to her, usually everything with Orlando was so natural and automatic.

"I'm happy for you... And for Norman of course!"

It was not difficult to pinpoint the resentment as he uttered that name.  
Y/N tried not to notice and went on. The man's jealousy was not justifiable in a situation like that, since she and Norman had been forced to come closer for a more than serious reason.

"I wish you would've been there with me..."

"No you wouldn't have wanted that!"

"But what are you saying?"  
Y/N wondered who that person was who now kept changing the TV channels obsessively, without giving the slightest sign to follow her.

"Orlando!"

"Orlando what?"  
The man jumped to his feet. Y/N instinctively drew back on the couch, seeing the man's face flush with anger.

"Orlando stop, you scare me! What's happening to you? You're unrecognizable!"

She had never seen him lose control.  
"You want to know what's happening to me? Really? Do you really want to know? It happens that I got tired! I got tired of waiting... I got tired of seeing you hanging on that old bastard's lips!"

Y/N stood up incredulously.  
"What are you talking about? I don't-..."

Then suddenly it was clear to her: The old bastard Orlando was referring to was none other than Norman.  
She watched him measure the room.

"I waited... I told myself it would be worth it, that he didn't deserve you. I always did everything for you, Y/N! And you know that, you always knew that!"

"But no... It's not true! I never asked you for anything like that... No!"

"Do you think I didn't know what was happening to you? I saved you Y/N... I saved you for so many fucking times! And this is how you thank me?"

Y/N stared at him incredulously.  
"No, you can't be serious... You can't blame me for that! You know how things went between us!"

"I only know that I did everything for you and despite this, you keep looking at him with those eyes! Do you think I'm blind? Do you think you can keep teasing me like this? Oh sure... I made you comfortable! You know what I think? I think you start deserving it! You deserve to be treated this way by him. Because it's what you want! Go ahead and let yourself be fooled by the great Norman Reedus, the one who let you rot in a psychiatric room, to slip into a another woman's bed!"

Orlando messed up his hair, looking around confusedly.  
He must have been drinking to be so out of his mind.

"So many years with you around the world, never receiving anything in return... Only a pathetic 'thank you'!"

"Orlando please... I never demanded these things from you!"

"Of course you did! You both did it... You and the other one are so used to having the world at your feet, that you don't realize if there is someone around you who really loves you. I was a puppet... 'Who cares about Bloom when Norman calls?'"

"What has Norman got to do with it? Norman and I have ended it!"

Orlando burst out laughing.  
"Oh poor Norman... He has never been wrong! He is a man, one who betrays you all the time and lets you get run over by the media for a bit of publicity! One who was ready to leave you just before you gave birth to his daughter! If it hadn't been me at that airport, do you really think he'd have come back to you? Fuck Y/N, was it so hard to understand that I was the one in love with you for all those years?"

Y/N was starting to lose it. That conversation was not good: Orlando was blaming her for his own choices, when in reality she had never made it a mystery to love the father of her daughter. He could blame her for having leaned against him, for having given in to her advances in the last month and for having even thought, that perhaps for them there was a possibility... But that was too much.  
She tried to put his head in order and talk to him calmly to bring him back to his senses.

"Okay look... I don't know what happened these days to you to be like this. But what do Norman and I have to do with it now? There is nothing left between us except the concern for our daughter! You have no reason to be upset... We were scared! We thought we would lose her!"  
Y/N remained silent, her eyes looking down with a mad desire to cry.

She loved Orlando, he was one of the best people she'd ever met, one of the few she had trusted in her entire life. But now all she could think of was that she wanted to leave as soon as possible from there and from him. She felt betrayed and disappointed by a man, with whom she had the illusion of being able to start a new life, leaving behind everything that had happened with Norman.

"You know what? I can't believe you're making this scene because of me... We've been best friends for so long and now? I don't think I deserve this!"  
She picked up her purse, taking a few steps toward the entrance.

"No, Y/N!"

The woman was forced to freeze, feeling the man's grip on her arm.  
"What are you doing? Let me go!"

"You're doing this every damn time! When you don't want to see something you go away!"

Y/N was afraid to turn in his direction, she felt his breath on her neck and his body that towered over her, imprisoning her against the door. Orlando approached her to kiss her but she pulled away, disgusted by his sudden change of behavior.

"Let me go... I told you... This is crazy."

"I'm crazy? And if I would be Norman it wouldn't be so disgusting to you, wouldn't it?"

Now she was afraid. The man's pupils were only two tiny dots. Y/N was still incredulous, she felt like a mouse being trapped. She could have called for help, she could have tried to hit him to run down the stairs, but what a friend would she be then?  
Suddenly the man's grip grew stronger and he lifted her up, erasing all his thoughts of doing something terribly wrong.

"Orlando! What the fuck are you doing?"

The terror took hold of her when she noticed that he was putting her on the couch.

"No! Don't you dare!"

He would hurt her, she was convinced. She began to defend herself by wriggling and kicking blindly as she felt his hands tighten her wrists, trying to stop her.

"Now you don't like me anymore, don't you? I bet you thought of Norman every time you came to bed with me. Every time I undressed you..."

Y/N heard the unmistakable sound of a torn fabric, while the man's hand was searching for her breast convulsively. Her cries were suffocated by the man's grasp, who pulled back with a grunt as she scratched his face, wriggling away from him and trying to get to her feet.  
The man put his hand to his face, realizing he was wounded and looked back at her.  
It was perhaps the sight of blood that brought him back to himself, because instead of pouncing on the woman again, he seemed to waver for a few seconds.  
Y/N saw him fall on his knees on the carpet in front of her, still staring at his own hands. His first choleric face was turning into a mask of despair and repentance.

"Oh God... What did I do? What did I do? Y/N, please... I don't know..."

Y/N couldn't even look up, she couldn't hold back her tears, for the fear she had just felt.  
The huge guilt was painted on Orlando's face now that he realized what had just happened.  
Y/N quickly covered herself, forcing herself to stop sobbing; her instinct told her to leave, to escape leaving him alone but now she could see the desperation in that figure slumped on the ground with his hands on his face.  
The touch of his hand made her jump, it was difficult to resist the man's closeness after that escalation of uncontrolled violence.

"What did I do... Y/N... Forgive me... Please! Forgive me!"

Y/N looked down, bursting into tears, she felt that Orlando was doing the same while trying to recover.

"I... I don't know what I-... Oh my god... I didn't want to, please, I didn't want that Y/N! Believe me!"

The words were almost incomprehensible in tears but Y/N knew all too well that Orlando was telling the truth.  
They let a few minutes go by, trying to calm themselves down..  
Y/N was locked in her cocoon, she was afraid even to move to approach the door again. But finally she forced herself and met the actor's eyes again, listening to his words, now sounding clearer.

"I tried it Y/N... I really always wanted to be with you, with your daughter... I never really wanted to know that you'll only see me as your best friend... But as friends we were always so strong, so unstoppable..."

Now Y/N began to understand why he blamed her, because he was convinced that he had ruined her life.  
Actually all that history had nothing to do with Norman, but the woman knew all too well that it would have important repercussions on their relationship.


	79. Chapter 75

Norman's daughter was feeling much better and would soon be back home.  
He was already thinking about the huge party they would arrange for her first birthday.  
He nodded to his bodyguard and entered his daughter's hospital room, sure of finding Mingus there too, who had come to give him a helping hand for a few hours.  
It was nice to know that his family was gathered in the city and that he could count on everyone as he hadn't known for a long time.  
He knocked at the door, expecting the shouting of his son, who gave no signal instead. He opened the door slightly, finding the room empty.

"Mingus?"  
He entered the room, looking out to the bathroom but even there he found no one.

"Mingus!", he called louder, looking around confused.

"What?"  
The son's voice reached him at that moment from the corridor and Norman turned around sighing, feeling relieved.

"But where were you? I was scared to death!"

"Why? I went to get a drink from the kitchen... But I left her with my grandfather.", the boy replied with his most innocent expression.

Norman calmed down instantly, but looked around confusedly. It was strange that his father was there, even more so the fact that there was no trace of him.  
He went out into the corridor asking his bodyguard who was just passing by.

"Hey, I'm sorry, you didn't see a rather old man around here, didn't you? He had to be in the room with my daughter..."

The man's face lit up immediately.  
"That gentleman with a leather vest?"

"Yeah, him, he's my dad..."

He couldn't hold back a smile, his father always managed to get himself recognized everywhere.

"He's in the next room, he offered coffee and croissants to everyone... If you hurry up, you'll be able to get some too!"

Just a couple of seconds later and you could hear the unmistakable voice of old Reedus, who was entertaining everyone with his funny stories.

Norman's resigned smile turned into a reproachful expression.  
"Dad, no... She can't eat them now!"

He ran to his daughter, who was sitting on a table in the room, intent on rubbing an enormous cream brioche over her entire face.

"Look here, what a disaster!"

"So what! You don't make her eat anything... Of course she gets sick then!"

His son looked at him sternly from above, continuing to clean his daughter's cheeks.

"Grandpa... I want one too!", Mingus intervened, forcing his grandfather to accompany him under the amused eyes of those present, who were already enjoying the situation.

Norman tried to get rid of the embarrassment, signing a couple of autographs dirty with cream, before picking up the little girl and running away quickly to her room.

"I'll wait for you there... And it's enough with surprises!"

He barely had time to murmur in his old man's ear.  
It took only a couple of minutes and the senior made his triumphal entry into the room, in which everyone already greeted him as if he were at home, while he never missed an opportunity to make unkind appreciation of the nurses.

"Dad, please!"

"So Norman? What can you tell me? Is my bunny feeling better? "

He patted his granddaughter's cheek and looked at his son again.

"Yes... Yes she's feeling better! Soon we will take her home... At least she won't spend her first birthday in a hospital room! But Mingus?"

The grandfather looked around, as if only then had he noticed the absence of his nephew.

"Oh yeah... He had a call to make."

Norman sighed, pulling his hair back. He knew that he would arrive sooner or later again.

"Don't worry... I've been there too. Don't worry so much about him!"

"Oh please..."

His father always knew how to cheer him up by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  
Old Reedus gave no sign of having taken it, but changed the subject as if nothing had happened.

"And that blonde doll, do you still have her by your side?"

"(C/N), dad... Her name is (C/N)!"

"Well okay..."

Norman took his pajama shirt from his daughter, realizing that it was completely dirty with cream. He answered vaguely, without going into details.

"Yes... We still go out together..."

"What does it mean that you 'go out'? Will you go out for a thousand years? Didn't you get divorced from her?"

"I'll try to repeat it, even if it won't help. C/N and I never got married... Never!"

"Always being so harsh..."

Norman pulled out a new shirt, holding his daughter with one hand so she wouldn't fall. Probably the father would stop talking about his girlfriend if he changed the subject.

"And mom? Did you visit her?"

"I doubt that she wants to see me after the last time... But yes, I'll pass by later when I'll leave! I'm also waiting for some old friends, we wanted to eat dinner together. It's been so long."

It was strange that his father agreed to spend an entire evening with friends he hadn't seen in a long time, yet he was happy for him.


	80. Chapter 76

"Here I am, sorry for the delay!"

Y/N entered the room like a hurricane, without even realizing the unexpected visit.   
At first Norman was puzzled by her arrival and by the excitement of her words, while she explained to him that she had had problems with the car without even looking into his eyes.  
He watched her giving their daughter a kiss and realized she had been crying and that there was something very strange in her voice.

"Norman you can't just change the shirt if the clothes underneath are also dirty! Everything has to be changed... Come on, I'll take care of it!"

The woman avoided his gaze and picked up her daughter, to head towards the wardrobe.  
It was then that the man noticed the dark marks visible on her wrists. Instinctively he stopped her, taking her softly by the arm and she looked at him in fear.

"And these?"

"It's nothing!"

Y/N pushed him away, freeing herself and squeezing the little girl more tightly between her hands. But when she turned to head to the bathroom, she was forced to stop abruptly in front of the massive figure of old Reedus.

"Hello Y/N!", he greeted her like every time, while she was barely managing to hide her embarrassment.

"Oh my... Mister Reedus... I... You scared me! Excuse me, I... I didn't see you..."

Y/N tried to keep her voice steady with little success.

"I'll change her clothes and I'll be right back..."

She finally pulled herself out of the mess, slipping into the bathroom with her daughter close to her.  
Norman couldn't help but look for his father's eyes, which suddenly weren't full of irony anymore but became more serious and worried.  
Normally he would have made a few jokes about the breast of his niece's mother or about the fact that his son had run off from a Diva like that, but not this time.  
He was a man who still loved to play the fool in public and take on that role as an eternal young man, especially if this made the famous son mad, but he wasn't stupid and had lived through his own difficult times.  
He didn't say a word, just nodded towards the bathroom door, to encourage Norman to go to talk to Y/N.

The man reluctantly headed for the half-closed door; he wasn't sure he wanted to know what had happened.  
He saw his father walk out of the room, he probably would have joined Mingus and they would have gone together to see his grandmother. He was a good man, there was no doubt about that.  
Norman now pushed back the door and entered the small immaculate bathroom, in which Y/N was changing the child's clothes.  
Even if she got her back turned to him, he could see the slight jolt of her shoulders whenever she stifled a sob.

When Y/N noticed his presence, she hastily wiped her eyes and nose with the back of her hand.  
He approached her in silence and stopped his movements, laying a hand on her swollen wrists.  
He saw her tighten her lips and lower her eyes, as if she was ashamed.

"What happened? Who was it?"

The man's voice betrayed a certain anger. He knew that those bruises could not have brought them alone.  
Y/N did not answer but stifled another sob, pulling her hand away and returning to undress the child.

"Y/N, who was it!"

This time he forced her to look at him and he immediately realized he already knew the answer.  
His heart sank and he forced himself to swallow so as not to start screaming. It couldn't have been Orlando... The actor would never have done such a thing to Y/N. He loved her with all his heart and you could see that.

Y/N noticed the flash in his eyes and exploded.  
"Please Norman, forget it... It's not like you think! He didn't hurt me..."

"For how long has he been doing this?"  
The man's voice was steady and dreary.

"It never happened! He... Orlando never got his hands on me. He was upset and drunk... He was upset. But he didn't do anything to me, okay? You know my skin is so clear that-..."

"Y/N!"  
That roar made her shut up.  
Norman forced her to turn around and look him in the face.

"Who do you want to lie to? You wouldn't be so upset if nothing happened! Look at this... These bruises... No, I'll fucking kill him and I don't fucking care who he is!"

His eyes had just spotted the torn blouse, which Y/N had tried to hide badly under her black jacket.  
The woman made a considerable effort to block him, before he left for Orlando's apartment; if there was one thing Norman knew he wanted to do right now, it was beating the shit out of that man and he would certainly get in trouble. Y/N joined him, taking his face with both hands and forcing him to look into her eyes.

"No Norman, listen to me. You must listen to me now, please... Don't lose your mind too! Nothing happened... Do you understand me? Nothing!"

Normam fixed his eyes on hers, trying with all his might to calm himself down again.  
All he could think of was that he hated him, he wanted to find him and beat him to death, making him regret what he had done.

His voice was still upset when he resumed.  
"Just tell me he didn't... Tell me he didn't!"

His blue eyes were full of anger but also of fear of knowing. He probably would not have held up to such news.  
Y/N hurried to reassure him. She would never have told him that she had missed Norman a little and that if Orlando had not stopped, maybe she could no longer defend herself.

"No! No, we just discussed... Orlando is gone. He... We broke up. It's over and it's good for both of us. I don't know if we will still be friends but... Only time will tell..."

She was no longer pleading with him now, she was just suffering from the end of a story, which he probably kept in his heart too.  
Norman saw her bring a hand to her eyes and without thinking, he took it to put it around his neck and hug her. It no longer mattered what had happened, now he just had to try to calm her down.

"Okay... Okay... Don't worry! I won't do anything! Just tell me that it will never happen to you again. I swear I-..."

He took a deep sigh, feeling her cry and stroked her hair.

"It's okay... Everything will be fine..."

How many times had he always repeated the same words to her? And nothing had gone really well as he had promised.

"Mommy!"  
Y/N withdrew from the embrace, wiping her red face from crying and starting to laugh in tears.

"Yes darling... I'm here. It's all right, now let's get dressed!"

"Go home... I'll take care of her..."

Norman handed her a tissue and finished changing their daughter, while Y/N slowly calmed down beside him.


	81. Chapter 77

"Where do we put them?"

Y/N made her entrance to the hall of the house, followed by Norman's bodyguard who had offered to help her.  
Norman turned in their direction and stopped blowing into the umpteenth pink balloon, letting it deflate in his hands, to approach the three laughing.

"What are you doing with all this stuff? Come on..."

He took the huge box from the woman's arms and realized it was heavier than he thought.

"So Norman... While you support her... I can't move, I am not twenty anymore!"

A clearly flushed and obviously fatigued driver was begging him to free him from that weight too.

"Put everything here on the carpet... But this? Candy? What do we do with all this crap? She has just four teeth!"

Norman was already kneeling on the ground and was snooping inside the box full of the most unthinkable packages: There were chips, candies of every shape and color, saucers, balloons, tablecloths.

"What do you mean? We have teeth... You will see that it will not be wasted! Indeed..."

Y/N knelt beside him and immediately opened a bag with small gummy bats.

"Hey! No! You can't!", he tried to protest.

"Come on... I know you want one too!", she replied, fluttering the candy under Norman's eyes.

"Can you both stop... Please stand up and help me out here!"

The bodyguard was now in a precarious balance on a chair and was trying to stick a huge colored banner to the wall, while Mingus was standing next to him, more busy checking his mobile phone, than helping.

"No man... You wanted Mingus to help you and now you got him... I'm going back to my work!"

Norman got up, preparing himself for another grueling fight against those damn balloons, which were making him regret every cigarette he smoked in the last years.

"Y/N is it you? Could you please come over here for a second?"

She saw the woman roll her eyes, before walking towards the kitchen, which had already been monopolized by her mother and her Christmas specialties.  
Norman smiled at her, remembering the same scene a year ago.  
He was in a good mood, that would have been an absolutely perfect day: Exactly a year had passed since his little daughter had seen the light and the whole family would have been gathered together to celebrate.  
It had been a very long, tiring and sometimes terrible year: He and Y/N had faced so many challenges, they had moved away, they had hated each other but now it seemed that everything was forgotten. The sudden illness of their daughter had united them again, not as certain before, but they could say they had managed to build a mature and relaxed relationship.  
That would have been the first opportunity to get together with all those who had witnessed their separation from afar and finally prove that there were no embarrassments, no jealousy, they could simply spend a Christmas all together, like a real family.  
Norman knew that his mother and his father were not very convinced, they didn't conceive that he and Y/N could simply be friends and live such an open relationship after all that had happened. Who knows, maybe they only knew him too well to believe that everything was so perfect.

Y/N returned to the living room, handing him a spoonful of chocolate.

"No... You know I can't!", he answered unconvinced.

"Oh sure, the big man is on a diet for the show and new season! All right!"

Y/N didn't waste any time and pounced on the spoon, leaving it dry.  
Norman shook his head and followed her gaze as she approached to help her mother again to set the flowers on the mantelpiece, arguing with her husband in an incomprehensible tone.  
For a moment he saw her again with the same shocked and frightened expression of that sunny afternoon a few weeks before. The swollen eyes and the signs of the struggle with Orlando stamped on the body, as she held their child close to her.  
He still couldn't believe that he had lost his mind like that; just him, the same one to whom he had entrusted the life of Y/N and his daughter so many times.  
Yet what Y/N thought and how she felt about it, remained a mystery to everyone.  
Y/N, for her part, had avoided talking about it once she got out of that bathroom. She seemed to have erased everything from her mind, as if that relationship had never even existed in her life, only their friendship.  
Looking at it from the outside even now, only an extremely happy mother could be discerned when she returned to her daughter's home, but Norman knew her enough to understand that she was hiding a great suffering, for the loss of someone as important to her as Orlando.


	82. Chapter 78

"What a mess!"

Y/N put her hands in her hair, stretching slightly.

"Forget it... Our parents and the others will think about it tomorrow!"

Norman went back into the living room, after closing the door for the last time.  
He couldn't believe they were finally gone.  
He looked around fiddling with a balloon and sat down heavily on the sofa.

"Hey, what the hell?"  
He pulled out a talking snail toy from behind the pillow and started making it ring.

"Stop it Norman, you'll wake her up!"

Their daughter was happily curled up on the sofa next to him, exhausted by that long day of gifts and entertainment. They had all come: Their parents, their closest friends.  
The living room looked like a real battlefield, remains of wrapping paper, festoons, balloons and above all toys, an embarrassing amount of toys.

"Not even a party in Hollywood would have been so tiring!"

Y/N picked up some saucers with the remnants of the cake, mixed with the tricks used to paint the faces of the children present.

"Come on, forget it, you haven't stopped for a second! Come and sit here with us!"

It was strange to hear Norman's voice so clear in the silence of the room, after all the noise of that day. Y/N felt herself enveloped by his warm notes, which she hoped she had forgotten.  
In those weeks she had done everything not to be alone with him, so as not to think about what had happened in the hospital again, but above all not to feel completely 'naked' in front of that man, who still had such a strong ascendant about her.

She reluctantly left the plates and sat down on the sofa next to her daughter.  
"She's exhausted, look at her, how she sleeps!"

She would have preferred not to recognize the look on the man's face, the one he always had when he laid eyes on their child.

"It seems impossible that a year has already passed..."  
Norman's voice was barely perceptible, as if lost in memories.

Y/N remained silent, watching hid fingers in their daughter's hair.  
She wasn't ready, she didn't want to go back into the avenue of memories with him.

"I think it was the greatest emotion of my life... When-..."

It was then that Y/N decided to interrupt him abruptly. It hurt too much to hear those words now.

"Yeah... Who would have thought she'd become such a capricious princess... You'll see how angry she'll get when I put her in the car!"

Norman didn't even try to hide how he felt. Y/N always knew how to be so cynical and disillusioned in certain situations.

"If you want you can sleep here tonight... It's useless to wake her up for nothing!"

"I know Norman, but I don't want her to get confused..."

There was the usual intransigence shield, behind which Y/N hid when she felt threatened.

"We're talking about one night... Today it was all different! You can sleep here too if you want, so tomorrow morning you'll find yourself ready to go when she wakes up!"

"No."

The answer came out perhaps a little too quickly. She then tried to make up for it with some unreliable explanation.

"Tomorrow we need to be at the hospital again for the check..."

Norman was perfectly aware of her embarrassment.  
"So? We'll go together! You know I've postponed all commitments for at least two weeks."

Y/N looked down at her hands and fiddled with her eye-catching ring.  
"I don't think that's the case Norman..."

"You should say things rather like they are... But what are you afraid of? You know here are a lot of rooms. You won't even notice that we are there! You already stayed here, remember?"

Y/N raised her Y/E/C eyes on him and Norman had a moment of confusion.  
He wanted so much to be alone with her, he wanted to realize if what he had experienced in the hospital was real or if maybe he was only tied to the particular moment they had together.

"Yes... It's not because of that, you know... It's just that it's too early!"

"Too early for what?"

Y/N felt the warmth of his hand through the fabric of her jeans and had to make a considerable effort not to stare at him. She moved away slightly, trying to put a greater distance between them.

"I don't know... For this!"

Norman remained silent and withdrew his hand, realizing that he had gone too far.

"Norman, I really want to have a good relationship with you. I'm trying my best, believe me..."

"I don't think we are doing so badly!", he replied, trying to look more positive than he actually felt.

He knew that regaining Y/N's trust would be a difficult task, but he was convinced that he had found a new point of contact in the last few weeks and had no intention of retracing his steps.

"Yes... And I'm happy for this. But so many things have changed in my life these last few months and I need some time..."

Her eyes were now hidden by the long black lashes.

"Some time? It's because of 'her', isn't it?"

"No... Your girlfriend... I mean, maybe even for her... But no... It doesn't concern me anymore."  
Y/N hesitated in obvious embarrassment, before continuing.  
"Just, do not misunderstand me Norman, I accepted it. I know you are in love and I appreciated the discreet way with which you were close to me at the hospital. I'm sure we're doing the right thing... For us... For you... Even for our daughter. I just don't think I can do it right now."

This time she decided to look at him and the man saw a kind of plea in her eyes.

"Norman, I can't leave everything behind me. Maybe I'm not ready, maybe I thought it was good to be in a relationship with Orlando! Damn it! He always managed to put everything in order... And now I..."

Y/N put her hand to her hair, she had said it at last. She had thought about it for weeks... Maybe months and now she had said it.  
Norman was shaken. And he could not believe that he had had that jolt at the mere mention of Bloom again. And yet that was not exactly what he wanted, that Y/N let off steam in front of him.

"Do you miss him?", he asked her point blank, realizing that he hadn't been very tactful. And at the same time he realized he had used it as an excuse not to go into what was really important.

Y/N sighed deeply, before deciding to answer. She remembered all too well when Orlando had asked her the same question, referring to the man who now sat next to her.

"Yes, I think so. Maybe I never gave him the love he deserved... Maybe he was right when he accused me of being blind..."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was so focused on our relationship back then, that Orlando paid the consequences until, you know..."

Norman frowned at her.  
"Is that what he told you? Is it because of that why he has-?"

Y/N just nodded. By now it made no sense to keep hiding it, Orlando was with his family at the moment and she was alone again in a city she didn't feel she belonged too now and above all tied to a man, who perhaps had never been hers.

"So this would also be my fault?"

Y/N looked up again, realizing that Norman had already drawn his own conclusions.

"No, it's not your fault! It's mine... I'm always the usual mess!"  
She showed him a sad smile.

"The usual mess?"  
Norman said it almost to himself, leaning back on the sofa. There were so many things he wanted to tell her but she still felt so distant... Or maybe he was the one putting up a barrier this time. Maybe he was afraid of yet another door being slammed in his face.  
Y/N remained silent for a while, absorbed in her daughter's expressions and finally decided to speak again.

"You know, I've been thinking about it a lot these days... Maybe I should just go away for a while. Maybe I should finish filming and then go back to my old house."

Norman seemed to wake up just then. He watched her motionless, feeling the earth collapse under his feet.  
He knew it would happen sooner or later, he knew that Y/N would not last much longer near all those painful memories and especially in that situation.

All his nightmares were coming true.  
"Your old house...", he merely repeated in a heavy voice.

"Yes, but I'm not talking about a definitive thing. I'm not going to push you away from our daughter. I just need to find myself again, it's getting too difficult."

Norman looked across the room.  
At that moment he realized that he had never really doubted the fact of not being able to see his daughter, but it was the thought that Y/N would definitely leave his life, which made him feel lost.

"She is still too small for all these trips... We said to give her stability... And we both have to do it!"  
He was pleading and was using the girl as an excuse, which he later realized.

Y/N gave him a determined and slightly hurt look.  
"I know... And she will have it. But I need it too! Why don't you understand?"

"Because I still think this is your home too... I can't do anything about it!"  
Norman jumped up from the sofa, heading for the liquor cabinet.

Normally Y/N would have protested, telling him it was too late and that he had promised not to drink in front of their daughter. But she remained silent, observing each of his movements.  
The man poured it into his crystal glass and took a long sip, knocking it down as if it was simple tea.  
Y/N stared at him, Norman could feel her gaze on him, while he remained motionless a few steps away and rubbed his eyes.

"I don't want you to go away again...", he finally decided to say without even looking at her.

"Norman, don't force me... You know I don't want to say it..."

Even Y/N was struggling with her own feelings, knowing that their lives had gone too far in order to try come back.  
He slowly returned to the sofa, crouching on the ground and approaching her dangerously.

"Say it... Just say it for once!", he said it in a whisper so as not to wake up their daughter, but from his expression all the urgency of those words shone through. It wouldn't have been another door being slammed in his face, he was sure of it this time.

Y/N forced herself to look at him with detachment.  
"No, it wouldn't make sense! We are no longer just the two of us, we cannot continue with these childish stories! Try to understand, Norman. I can't stay here, I can't go on like this, pretending that everything's fine, when there's really nothing left! I'd end up suffering too much. You went ahead, so let me do it too!"

Y/N's eyes were bright and, although Norman felt the weight of those words, he couldn't help but get lost in them. She was telling him that she was still in love with him and that he could not turn the page if he continued to stay so close to him.  
At the bottom of his heart Norman felt himself in seventh heaven, but at the same time he also knew that everything was lost already.

"I don't know if I want you to do it..."

They were dangerously close, too close to say goodbye.


	83. Chapter 79

The noise of the car in the driveway forced them to regain control just in time, before Norman's girlfriend made her entrance into the house.

"Shit what a mess! What happened in here?"

At that moment the woman noticed the two sitting on the sofa with those funeral faces. She certainly didn't expect to find them alone and she didn't even try to hide her disappointment.

"But where are all the others? I was hoping to arrive in time at least to greet the boy!"

Norman got up, taking another sip of whiskey, as if to give himself the strength to pretend nothing had happened.

"They all just left... But they said I should greet you."

"Now it would be better if I go..."  
Y/N stood up embarrassed and picked up the child, being careful not to wake her up.

"You said she would stay here...", Norman protested, following her to the door.

"No, I said it wasn't the case. And... It is not the case!"  
Y/N gave him a quick smile, glancing at Norman's partner. She was the woman herr now, she was the one who slept with him and shared his daily life.  
It was a difficult situation: Only a moment before she had told him that she had not passed their story and now she was back standing at the door, ready to run away from him and his new life.

Norman merely greeted his daughter, watching her disappear into the darkness of the courtyard.

"Baby why does Y/N always have to look like a bird trapped in a cage?"

The woman's comment arrived loud and clear as he prepared to close the door.  
Yeah, a strange and delicate little bird, as Jeffrey had called her once when they all first met on the set of The Walking Dead... A little bird in a cage, trying to escape from him.

He now returned to the living room and saw her sitting down barefoot, exactly where his daughter was lying down a few seconds before. He was not bothered by it, but for a moment he had the feeling that this woman, with her makeup-free face and long hair, had nothing to do with everything else.  
Who knows, maybe if he had a child with her, things would have gone completely differently. Maybe they would never have left each other and maybe he and Y/N would never have had that night of passion, which ended up changing their lives completly.  
He poured himself some more whiskey and a nod was enough to understand that the woman also wanted some.

"So, was it a good party?"

"Sure. You should have seen my father and hers together. They are like two wandering mines... Two crazy-..."  
Norman realized he had made a mistake and stopped with slight embarrassment.

"I wanted to give her my gift."

"You know, it's still a little too early... You'll see that next year it will be different!"

The woman now approached him with her seductive smile.  
"I don't want to spend every Christmas away from you!"

Norman felt her tongue teasing him and closed his eyes, feeling a chill running down his spine.

"I told you... It won't always be this way!"

"Well sure... Next Christmas there could be another little Reedus to celebrate with us..."

That whisper made him wince. He looked her in the eye, he wasn't sure he heard right.

"No... Don't worry. But anyway... I mean we have been postponing for years..."

Norman relaxed a little, feeling the woman's fingers linger under his shirt. He rested his head on the sofa headboard, thinking back to everything that had just happened.  
He had gone ahead, Y/N had told him a few minutes before. And yet he seemed to be still standing in the driveway of that hospital.  
But what was he waiting for? He had to move on. Wasn't he the one who said he never turned back?

"Why not?", he finally replied, pulling her onto his legs and squeezing her against his chest.

Yeah... Why not?


	84. Chapter 80

"Y/N are you there?"

Danai's voice reached her muffled, through the closed door.

"Yeah... Yes, just give me a moment! Oh damn zipper!"

Y/N struggled through the loose clothes on the carpet, nearly tripping at every step, on the only sandal she could wear.

"Here I am...", she said breathlessly, opening the door to her apartment and then returning to the mirror again.  
Danai watched her with her grimest expression. No, she wasn't ready, she looked like a disaster.

"What are you still doing here? You aren't even wearing make-up."

She followed her, trying to arrange the zip of the elegant dress, while Y/N hopped on one foot trying to free the zipper of the other shoe, which had inexplicably been stuck.  
Y/N snorted, adjusting her tousled hair.

"Of course I'm wearing makeup... And I'm already sweating in here!"

Everything seemed to go wrong that day.  
She had been forced to take the first available plane to New York, after two hours of waiting at LAX airport, they had recovered her luggage purely by chance and to make matters worse, she had found a crowd of paparazzi waiting for her when she arrived.  
She wasn't ready for all this, maybe she wasn't used to it anymore. But the time had come for the promotion of the new film with Andrew, this time she could not hold herself back. The cast of the actors seemed to have moved hundreds of thousands of fans and with them millions and millions of dollars.  
But that pressure was part of the past and she wasn't sure she could handle it again, not after all that had happened in the last year.

"Do you want me to be there?"  
She wriggled away from the expert hands of her friend, who was trying to fix her improbable hairstyle.

"Y/N stop it... Do you know what everyone will say? That you hide again.", she told her.

"So? I like it that way!"

"But you look even thinner... They've already speculated enough, don't you think? You and your obsession to always tell everyone everything!"

Danai was clearly referring to the interview a few months earlier, the one that had been around the world for the burning revelations and the actress coming out with her story with the Hollywood star par excellence.

Y/N looked up, heading for the bathroom.  
"Oh god, I feel sick..."

"Here we go again! Stop being so childish... Even in Paris you felt sick and in London and Tokyo... And you didn't eat, right?"

It was always like this, before any press conference Y/N had a small problem in the management of anxiety.

Danai followed her patiently as every time.  
"Come on... A deep breath and a bit of mascara and that's it!"

Y/N returned a look full of gratitude towards her. Danai, along with Andrew, had been there for her for years and still had to put up with those absurd attacks of insecurity, which as always took control over her stomach.  
She struggled to regain control and adjusted her dress, which looked more like a second skin around her doll-like body.

"Can we go now? Andrew is waiting down there..."

"Yes, yes... Cigarettes...", she replied absently, looking for the package under the clothes.  
"How many people are there?"  
Y/N took the coat, casting a final, puzzled look at the mirror.

"A few..."  
Danai was holding the door open, she knew she had to force her out of her den before she talked about it but she also knew that Y/N knew her good too, and that 'a few' meant she would find at least one hundreds of people crowded in front of the hotel.  
She decided to go out, her legs were shaking and for sure the vertiginous heels didn't help her.

"The purse...", Danai reminded her, now resigned to her carelessness.

"Oh, shit, of course..."

She grabbed the clutch, which the woman handed her with a sympathetic smile.  
The problem there was not the premiere, it was not the conference and neither were the journalists.  
Danai best of all knew the reason for so much excitement and that reason was just the same, which now urged her to look around, hoping not to make bad encounters.


	85. Chapter 81

Norman got out of the car and lit a cigarette, without even looking around.  
At the same time his bodyguard's grip made his way to the entrance of the hotel, protecting him from any hands ready to grab him.  
He nodded to the crowd, which seemed to go into raptures and reached out with his free hand, waiting for that of his companion, who with his usual innate elegance, stepped out of the car escorted by another pair of bodyguards.  
By the time his fans and paparazzi had become accustomed to that scene, by now Norman didn't move without her and certainly the woman wouldn't miss a chance to be immortalized hand in hand with him.  
They would have unleashed the usual atmosphere, exhausted by the flashes and by the long evenings spent in one of the best restaurants in the city. If at first all eyes were for him, now even the woman's fans followed his moves, knowing that she would be present and never missed an opportunity to ask her for autographs on her photos. After all, they were the hottest couple in the recent years, the one that drove both men and women mad: An explosive mixture and neither could say that all that glamour was really annoying.  
They avoided meeting the eyes of the curious and listening to the voices, which called them insistently.  
Norman now was attracted by something... Maybe a drawing, maybe just a different scream from the other fans... There was something out of tune in all that chaos of people, something that he couldn't fully understand, as he was ferried quickly inside the luxurious hotel, in which the concierge was waiting for them obsequiously.

"Good evening, Mister Reedus!"

"Good evening to you too!"

"Did you have a good time so far?"

"As always... Are there any messages for me?"

Norman could still hear the screams behind him as the man reached his station and rummaged behind the counter with a professional approach.

"Okay, let's see... This... No sorry, excuse me, this is not for you..."  
The concierge's face had suddenly turned red as he tried to get out of the way.  
"So yeah... Excuse me... No, no messages!", the man smiled at him, trying to hide the sweat, which was beginning to dominate his forehead.

"Have a good night, Mister. Reedus!"

"Good night!"  
Norman walked away, reaching the elevator, which his bodyguard still held open.

"Is everything okay?"  
His girlfriend looked tired as she hugged him.

"Yes baby, everything is okay."  
  
  
  
He lit another cigarette.  
He could never sleep when he was away from his own bed, unless he was drunk or too exhausted to suffer from insomnia: That was the most tenacious companion of his life.  
His girlfriend, on the other hand, was blissfully sleeping among the finest silk sheets in the entire state.  
He closed the bedroom door, approaching the balcony of the huge suite.  
He opened the windows to let the smoke out but decided not to turn on the light, so that they wouldn't see him.  
He still heard the shoutings of the people, who were down there. Was it really possible that they weren't even tired of waiting for him? Probably he would have found them exactly in the same place the next day, at the time of his departure.  
A lot of years had passed and he still couldn't understand how crazy people could be about him.  
Suddenly the shouting intensified and the turmoil grew as a car with dark windows approached the entrance to the hotel.  
But what was happening?  
Probably it was some other VIP, who was staying in the same hotel. Who knows, maybe some musician of his acquaintance.  
Norman looked at the car, which pulled up with the lights on, letting two strange-looking men out. He was taken by a slight feeling of unease: Of course his fans weren't as loyal as they seemed, judging by the scenes he was watching from afar.  
And then the screams became clear and the sliding door let out a beautiful woman with a strangely familiar appearance, followed by another one.  
It was Y/N and Danai?  
That was the name which everyone was screaming.  
He saw them stop only for a few photos and a couple of autographs. She and her were smiling, while the audience cheered them and their assistants dragged them by force, to bring them in as soon as possible.  
He remained motionless and for a second he had the sensation of recognizing the woman's voice in the midst of the tumult, before being sucked into the door, still anchored to her colleague's arm.  
Y/N was there.  
His Y/N. Not just any actress. Not just any woman.  
And then he remembered what had been so out of place about an hour ago: It was one of the images, which Norman had seen in the middle of all the posters, on which he would have to put his signature. A photo of Y/N in the middle of his face and his girlfriend's.  
What was she doing here?  
He was convinced that she would stay in Russia at least a couple of days before returning to America again.  
He was also convinced that after their last chat and the woman's flight to Europe, the only way not to think of her was to not follow the progress of her promotion and it was just what had been done.  
An unhealthy instinct told him to go down, to book the lift in which she had to climb right then and to surprise her like this, undressed and disheveled, just as he had done two years before in another hotel miles away.

He put out his cigarette. He would have done it, it couldn't have been a coincidence. There are no coincidences!  
Then something stopped him.  
Y/N? She also had to know that he was there.  
He looked around, having become accustomed to the darkness of the room.  
Jeffrey would have told him that these was simply paranoia, a beautiful and good paranoia... But the fact remained that Y/N Y/L/N was in this hotel, just a few meters away from him.  
And the fact also remained, that now the crowd had subsided and probably had already dispersed, so everyone was waiting for it, everyone knew about it. Everyone except him.  
His fans had been waiting for his former partner, they had acclaimed Y/N more than him and Norman was no longer sure of being proud and genuinely pleased, as he had felt at first.  
Why had no one deigned to tell him such a thing?  
Y/N and her damn privacy. That was probably the most obvious answer.  
She seemed to have more privacy rights than he and his girlfriend had. Of course, she didn't do much to appear and couldn't deny that the whole story of his manager's frame had had its resonance in the world of gossip magazines and social media.  
It was decided, he would go out. He would find her room and face her.  
He couldn't treat her like a stranger. She could not leave an entire continent for three months and return without saying anything to him. They still had a little daughter together...  
He walked down the corridor, trying to remember where the elevator was. He felt a dull rage grow with every step and he didn't even know why.  
The doors opened with the well-known metallic sound and Norman found himself looking at a figure in a beautiful dress.

"Danai?"

"Hello Norman! Where are you going at this hour?", she told him as if nothing had happened, looking puzzled. Nothing troubled Danai, nothing made her lose that enigmatic expression of someone you never know if she teases you or takes you seriously.

"What are you doing here?", he asked her point-blank.

"I was just going to bed... But you called the elevator before it went up to my floor."

It was obvious that Norman didn't want to know that. It was obvious and also frustrating.  
"Where is Y/N?"

"Y/N is in her room... She was very tired..."

Norman almost lost his patience and ended up stopping pressing the call button and entering the elevator with the woman.

"So do you want to tell me what's going on? Why didn't you tell me you were staying in this hotel? Maybe we could have avoided letting everyone else know about it."

"And you really think we would have been so stupid to tell you?"

The sound on that 'your' was the most irritating thing Norman had ever heard from her.

"Someone should have done it..."

"Listen, there was a mistake with the other hotel... There was a mix-up with the Moscow airport and then one with the airline... Well they were two rather intense days... And you say we forgot to warn you?"

"You're teasing me, aren't you? But who cares... Y/N, she should have told me. She knows very well where I stay every time I come to the city..."

He pressed the button again, unlocking the elevator and finally silencing the alarm.

"Of course you know all the best ways to go unnoticed! How long will it take before all your henchmen come here in their pajamas?"

Okay, maybe the elevator was a bit of a risky move.  
Danai continued impassively, without even bothering to look him in the eye.

"Yes, Y/N knew it and you don't know how long it took me to convince her to come here and watch you and your girlfriend's 'show' together. But what can you do? Work is work, you know it too! There is no room for private life and she also had to resign. The only promise I had to make was not to meet you and believe me, it wasn't easy! So let her be for a good time, she's trying hard to get back up... Stop dragging her down, stop being around her... For good."

"What the hell? Would I be around her? I haven't even seen her since Christmas!"

"Yes Norman, you! Just you! I know that your daughter is there but you're exaggerating... I see it, everyone sees it... You are terrified of letting her go... Yet she asked you, didn't she? Please, I love that girl, I love her just like she's my sister and she's already suffered too much because of you. Let her be free, for once, just for once."

The doors opened and Danai slipped out without saying another word anymore.  
Norman stood there watching her in silence. He was immobilized, unable to move in front of those doors, which closed relentlessly in front of his still shocked face.


	86. Chapter 82

Norman went into the shade of the small bar.  
He had it built a few years earlier on purpose for his old girlfriend, following the same project as that of the film they had shot together.  
They were at a beach dedicated to her, the one on which the girl was now sunbathing completely naked while the ocean waves lapped at her breathtaking legs.  
It was just one of the endless gifts with which Norman had conquered her, one of those that his friends defined as crazy but that he had done it with his heart, thinking that it was thanks to that corner of paradise, that their history could have been born and grown far from the spotlight.  
It was there that he and the woman had hidden themselves from prying eyes, living an eternal honeymoon, when his Ex-Wife and the boy had not been placed in the midst of the media uproar, which their history had created.  
He dialed the number for the umpteenth time, taking off the cap.

"Come on... Answer!", he grumbled to himself. One ring and another.  
He had been trying to contact Y/N for hours but she seemed to have disappeared into thin air.  
He checked his watch, noticing his bare wrist, then turned to the young bartender.

"Hey, what time is it?"

"3.40 pm!"

"3:40pm...", he repeated in a low voice, making a quick calculation. She was very late, Y/N had to be home for a while and she should have already called him for the usual good night phone call because of their daughter.  
He looked towards the horizon, where the blue of the sea and the blue of the sky merged, reflecting in the glow of the white beach.  
He was about to hang up and call the woman's parents, since she was supposed to have come by to take their daughter back after work.

Suddenly he heard a noise from the other side. "Y/N?"

"Hello?"

Another voice surprised him.

"Y/N?", he repeated stupidly, knowing that it was not her already.

"Not, it's a good friend of her."

Norman was puzzled. He could have expected anyone but certainly not another male voice right now.  
What was that man doing with Y/N's phone at that time?

"Y/N is still in the shower. She'll call you back, okay?"

"And our daughter?", he asked without much compliment, showing off his apprehensive side.

"Oh she is here with me. We're having a lot of fun, isn't that true?"

Norman wanted to smash the phone on his head. How was it possible for another man to put his child to sleep thousands of miles away while he was on a deserted beach in the middle of the ocean?

He tried to be calm.  
"Honey?"  
The girl immediately recognized his voice and he felt the well-known knot tighten in his throat. Every time it was always worse, those very little articulated speeches were the most beautiful moment of his whole day and every time he felt guilty for not being near her, for not being able to hold her, not being able to tickle her and see her laughing.

The man again picked up the phone, bringing him back to reality.

"Okay Notman, she'll call you... Goodbye!"

The call stopped and Norman just stood there for a few seconds staring at the phone.

That man, where he didn't know who it was at the moment, was at Y/N's house and was putting his daughter to sleep, as if she was his own.  
He sighed, going to sit on the stool in front of the bar.

"Hey, give me something... Anything, and strong!"

The boy jumped to his feet, starting to fumble with the ice and the shaker. He was a cocktail master but at that moment Norman couldn't care less.

"Isn't it a bit early?"  
His girlfriend's voice startled him.

He turned around to see her in all its beauty and felt the warmth of her skin against his back. She looked like a goddess, just like the first time he had met her: The light white sarong highlighted her skin and those almost transparent eyes.

He saw her sit beside him, ordering a bottle of iced water before continuing.  
"What happened? Were you able to hear her?"

"Yes, no... Y/N's friend replied..."

"A friend? Let me guess… Bloom?"

If he had turned around, Norman would recognize her allusive and seductive expression.

"I don't know.", he replied frowning.

He was displaced, he had no idea who the man could be and an alarm bell started ringing in a remote corner of his brain. Perhaps he had missed passages, perhaps he hadn't been so attentive to what was happening therr between a conference and a gala dinner.

"Probably a handsome man."

Norman couldn't believe his ears. In his mind the perfect profile of any actor made his way with insistence.

"I had only read a couple of things. Maybe Johnny Depp? He worked with her too, remember?"

"But what exactly do you know? Johnny Depp? They worked together years ago! They had finished shooting Dark Shadows back then, that's what I know at least...'

"You don't need to be so annoyed!"

The woman took a sip of her water and continued to study him that way.

"It was Johnny, believe me..."

He immediately realized that the man's name again, to which she was referring.

"Are you for real? That's not making anything better! I was wondering when it would happen! Those two have been revolving around for years."

"How can you know? They only worked together... And since when are you Y/N's number one fan?"

He had probably only studied the moves of his enemy. Norman preferred not to dwell on that thought and returned to concentrating on what was the core of the problem.  
Johnny Depp, one of the highest paid actors and also one of the sexiest to judge by the comments of the world.  
He and Y/N had been friends for years too, since they were both launched for a movie. Norman knew that they had remained friends and often met when the woman was in France, but he had never, ever thought of a story between them. In his mind that man was nothing but that, a friend.  
But now it really seemed like there was something else, even if he tried to get rid of that uncomfortable thought. In those months he had tried not to follow the promotion of Y/N's new film but he had also come across a myriad of information about it; he had seen her get off airplanes, take part in press conferences and pose for world-class premier photos. Although she was always terribly sexy and adorable, he had never seen her again with a man other than Andrew or Jeffrey, after the sad experience with Orlando.

Norman was not a mischievous man by nature and above all he did not tend to always think of the worst of others but he had to admit it: Y/N had never gone to France so often since he knew her.  
He sighed thinking how strange life was, everything seemed to repeat itself endlessly: First it was his Ex-Wife who had returned home immediately after their separation. Now Y/N was doing the same and, apparently, she too for reasons of heart.

"Are you still there?", the woman addressed him, realizing that he seemed to be far away with his thoughts.

"Yes... Yes, sorry. It's that they had a job... No, maybe a charity dinner, I don't remember! I believe that my Ex-Wife is also there for that-..."

Was he justifying them?  
The woman did not allow herself to be teased and, getting up from the stool, passed by him.

"Don't tell me you're jealous now!"  
Norman took a sip of his cocktail, surprised at how strong it was despite all that ice.

"What does she have to do with anything? We didn't even talk to each other!"

"And now you're friends or what? Aren't you?"

No, he and Y/N could not be friends, so she was gone and was taking a life away from him, their daughter.

"What's so wrong with that man? We knew it would happen sooner or later..."

The woman was getting on his nerves. She was repeating exactly the same situation a few months ago.

"What? But why do you have to jump to conclusions right away? You don't even know Depp..."

"So what?", she teased him like a child.

"Don't tell me the problem is him now!"

"Well... Why don't you take care of your daughter, instead of looking after Y/N all the damn time?"

"Because you're here... Okay, I leave the reality to digest, give me a whistle when you succeeded!"

Now he would tell her that she no longer had to turn to him that way, that she had no right to get involved in what was about him, Y/N and their daughter, because she had no idea how painful and frustrating it could be to stay so far away from a piece of his soul.  
But he didn't. All he managed to do was drain his own glass, watching her move away again towards the beach, even now as he loosened the clothing in a provocative way.  
That woman was not a child, she knew what she was saying. He couldn't scold her and shut her up.  
Among those thoughts the sound of the cell phone made its way to his ears.

"Y/N?"  
This time he recognized her voice immediately.

"Yes Norman, I'm sorry! I didn't even realize I left my cell phone in my room. So how is it going there?"

The man didn't even answer her but immediately started to ask her questions.

"Norman, calm down. Today I did some photos with Johnny."

"Oh, the photos... And do you think it is good to leave your daughter alone with him?"

Y/N could not believe her ears.  
"Only because I took a shower. She has slept the whole afternoon when we were at his house. But what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I just wish you didn't take advantage of it just because I'm not there to check."

Y/N's eyes widened.  
"To check, Norman? Are you doing it again? You didn't stop checking on me?"

She was really angry and struggled to keep a low tone, trying to stop her daughter, who was now trying to get out of bed.

"Just because you covertly do things..."

"I can't believe it! Are you still coming up with that hotel story? You have to stop it! I already explained to you how things went that day!"

Norman realized he had gone too far and backed off.  
"Yes... It's just that I don't want her to be alone with another man. Whoever he is."

"But it's Johnny, he knows me very well. Don't be so possessive please!"

"Well...", he merely answered, holding back the instinct to slam the phone onto the ground.

There was a moment of awkward silence, in which neither of them knew what to say.  
Norman was the first to speak but his tone betrayed a certain nervousness.  
"Did Mingus call you? He wants to be sure that you and I are coming to his birthday... He's so keen on it!"

"Yes, of course, I've already told him we'll be there... I would just like to avoid certain situations..."  
Y/N hesitated, she didn't want to tell him that she didn't want to come face to face with his girlfriend.

"She will be leaving soon for a job in Los Angeles!"  
It was Norman's answer, which now he just wanted her to stay where she was and all that complicated situation ended.

"I checked the flight schedules and I think we will leave Thursday!"

"Perfect... There will be a helicopter waiting for you."

"I'll call you then!"

"All right... Did you... Is she still awake?", he suddenly asked.

Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep sigh. That was the hardest part.  
"Yes... She's next to me..."

"Okay... Good... Good night!"  
Norman heard his voice crack and tried to regain control, to appear calm with his child.

"Have a good night too, Norman!"

The man leaned back against the counter, torturing his hair under the gaze of the young bartender. With just a wave of his hand the boy understood and replaced his empty glass with a full one. He was starting to take refuge in that damn alcohol, although it was said that he had to remain lucid, he felt he needed it to silence all those voices in his head.

"Daddy!"  
The voice of his little girl immediately brought him back to himself, forcing him to put aside his still full glass.

"Hello honey..."


	87. Chapter 83

Y/N threw the phone at the foot of the bed, as if she wanted to do the same with the person who had just hung up.  
She sat down beside her daughter and put her arm around her, stroking her legs.  
Why did Norman always have to make her feel that way? Why did his newly whispered words seem to cling to her stomach like that? But above all, why did he always manage to put her in a bad mood?  
It had been a fantastic day, she and Johnny had been in one of the most beautiful places in the French suburbs and had lent themselves to those playful shots in the same spirit as then, when back then everyone seemed to have gone mad for them.  
But now that discussion had made everything vanish.  
Johnny was one of the very few friends she had kept in her life; despite the distance and the different roads they had brought them so far, it was always as if not even a day had passed since they had fun at their movie together and were ashamed to shoot their first scenes.  
She still remembered their very first meeting, when they read the script and realized they had to face many of the taboos.  
The man had joined her in the dressing room and had undressed in front of her, asking her then to do the same to overcome the inevitable embarrassment of the set.  
Y/N remembered that she had never been so ashamed in her life: He was not a simple man, with whom she went out and something could happen with. He was just a colleague, a colleague who she would see naked for days and days and who tried to help her not feel intimidated by it. He had told her that she had the most beautiful breasts he had ever seen and she had replied something, which she had probably forgotten because of too much embarrassment.  
Now after those years everything was extremely easy between them.  
Norman had made her understand that he didn't appreciate the presence of another man with their daughter but the impression was that he didn't particularly appreciate Johnny. Maybe it was because he didn't know him, maybe just because he missed his daughter too much.  
Maybe he didn't have a good feeling about it, that she and Johnny were starting to spend much more time together, at least than before.  
The fact was that with him she finally felt at home, a strange thing since Y/N had never had a permanent home.  
Who knows? Being close to parents, talking about everything and nothing and having so many things in common... And Johnny understood her, Y/N also had the feeling that her daughter's presence did him good too.  
Suddenly she felt a kind of anxiety rising.  
He didn't think she was ready to fall in love again, not with someone who wasn't Norman at least.

Y/N awoke from those thoughts and quickly put on her long black robe when she heard a knocking on the door.  
Who could it be at that hour? And why didn't he ring the bell?  
She went to the door of her small apartment in central Paris and was heartened by Johnny's friendly smile.

"The phone…", he said, looking up.

Y/N smiled and let him in.

"There it is..."

The little girl had woken up and now, instead of desperate crying, she smiled, recognizing the familiar smile and giving him her toy to play with him.

"Okay, now I better go, I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

He greeted the girl, placing a kiss on her hair and returned to the door, spinning the car keys dangerously around his forefinger.

"Hey, why don't you come and see me on the set... It would be nice, I could introduce you to some people who can't wait to meet someone who really did it!", he smiled at her teasing her.

"You mean that I am not Hollywood prostitute?"

"Come on, stop it! You know they despise but in the end they are all proud that you hold up the name of yourself!"

Johnny leaned against the door frame. He looked tired but also amused, as if he was looking for an excuse not to leave.

"If you say so...", Y/N answered and instinctively squeezed into her robe.

"And then it would please me too if you'd be there..."  
The man's voice seemed almost velvet while Y/N felt herself blushing.

She wasn't embarrassed, she didn't even know what it was.  
Now she felt the touch of Johnny's hand on her cheekbone and finally looked him in the eye. He was telling her that it all depended on her.  
And then Y/N did something unexpected even for herself; she stood on tiptoe and touched his beard with her lips. She had the feeling of trembling or maybe she was doing it, but everything seemed extremely slow and so strange.  
She stood back looking at him again and this time it was clear that he wanted her too.  
Johnny took his hand still resting on her face and kissed her palm before turning around to leave with an irresistible smile.  
Y/N stood in the doorway, still stunned by what had just happened, or maybe it was just nothing.  
Yeah, absolutely nothing had happened, they hadn't even kissed but their eyes and hands had spoken a language for themselves.  
The man's car was already far away when she decided to go back inside, throwing herself on the bed with a sigh.  
She felt like a lost woman, she didn't even know what had pushed her so much but at the same time she couldn't understand that they hadn't gone any further, since they both wanted each other.  
Meanwhile, her daughter had crouched on the pillow beside her, hugging her little toy.  
Y/N wrapped her in her arms, inhaling the smell of her hair and fell asleep almost immediately, finally with a smile.


	88. Chapter 84

Norman settled himself on the cushioned bench, looking at Y/N with a provocative expression.  
The woman looked away with slight embarrassment, returning to focus on the full spoon.  
Norman laughed for that modesty that Y/N was able to pull off at certain moments, despite having demonstrated on several occasions that she was one of the most passionate women he had ever known.  
She had joined them for a couple of days to be present at the birthday, which Mingus had decided to celebrate there on the island.  
At the dinner with the family members of the night before, now the big party organized on the beach dedicated to him would follow. A party from which his parents were clearly banned.

"We go now Dad!"

Y/N immediately recognized Mingus' voice, who had just left home for a perfect bonfire on the beach.

"Hey champion, what are you doing with all that stuff?"

Mingus cast a distracted glance at his camouflage bag and those of the two boys who followed him. They seemed to be ready to go to the trenches rather than to a party.

"Usual things... A guitar, sleeping bag..."

"Beer?"

Norman knew all too well that at the bottom of each backpack he would find at least five or six cans of beer.  
Mingus looked at him with his puppy eyes and Norman had a momentary instinct to give in, but then he immediately resumed his role as a father.  
He was still a child in his eyes and, although he himself had tried almost everything at his age, he couldn't even imagine that his son did the same.

"No, we won't talk about it. Leave that stuff here... There's already everything you need on the beach. And then if you don't leave it here now, I'll will take care of it as soon as you arrive!"

As much as Norman wanted to be present at the bonfire on the beach, he ended up giving up. The birthdays had passed when it was cool to have the Dad present there, despite the fact that this was Norman Reedus. Now Mingus didn't want to be controlled by him, he just wanted to enjoy his party in peace and behave like all the other boys of his age.  
Mingu protested as always, he was as stubborn as his father.

"And what will we do? Will we drink orange juice and look like some boring nerds?"

Norman couldn't believe his ears.  
"Did you hear that? Y/N, did you hear that? Mingus..."

Y/N tried not to burst out laughing, thinking how ridiculous that situation was.

"Dad... Where do you live? I don't have to drink... And then it's just beer... I didn't steal from the cellar. What do you want two cans to be?"

"Yes, Mr. Reedus... We won't do anything wrong... It's a party!"

Norman spontaneously looked over his shoulder to see if his father had come to tell him to stop smoking.

"No guys, don't even think about it! No alcohol! Come on... I'll take these!"

"Prohibitionist!"

"What the? Hey hey, I'm not done with you! Mingus... Get back here right away!"

Norman opened both arms as if to ask for explanations but his son was already away, followed by those two boys, who didn't let him go for a second.

He pulled out a beer from one of the bags and opened it, looking at it with a disgusted expression.  
"At least if they got a decent one..."

"How satisfying is it to board a woman just because you drank?"  
Y/N didn't miss a chance and Norman laughed.

"No, wait... What happened between you and me is not because of alcohol. I didn't make you drink that night! I just took advantage of it a little bit..."

He looked at her with a wink and Y/N sighed.

"Yes... Of course!"

She dropped the subject and took their daughter from the high chair, leaving her free to walk barefoot on the terrace. It was a sight to see her trotting along with only her white diaper and the ever-present pacifier, which she could not be without.

"Hey... No... I'll come over there!"

Y/N sat down next to the man, calling the girl back.  
She had been in that paradise for only two days but she felt like she had never lived anywhere else. Norman was right when he insisted on bringing them here. The sunsets over the bay, the fish based dinners, brought by the fishermen of the area and the nights spent in the hammock watching the stars.  
It was strange to meet up together now that it was all over.  
It was even stranger to be on that dream terrace and behave like an ordinary family, with a relaxation that Y/N didn't remember for a long time.  
She knew well that Norman's girlfriend had left just the day before she arrived, with the excuse of an important job. In reality everyone knew she had done it to avoid meeting both her and Norman's Ex-Wife. It would have been too heavy for everyone and in that case it was Mingus who made that sensible choice.

"Mingus worries me...", Norman finally said, leaning with one arm on the back of the bench right behind her.

"Is he too much like you?"

"I don't know..."

"The truth is that you still want to take him to Disneyland but he don't even want you at his birthday party anymore!"

Norman smiled bitterly and nodded because of that terrible truth.  
"Yeah... And I had to surround him with bodyguards to prevent any of them drowning in the ocean or deciding to procreate behind a boat. You know?"

"It's normal Norman! How many times did you do stuff like that at his age? The time will come for that. He'll come back to you, we've all done it! And what more do you want? You've practically kidnapped us all on an island full of guards... But don't always be like that, you can not always protect them... There will be student parties, holidays, clubs..."

"I know... I would at least like to be present!", the man sighed with a distressed expression.  
"Y/N, do you really think Mingus gave up so quickly? If he left the beers, it means he has something else in mind. He's so stubborn sometimes... I just hope no one fools them!"

Norman leaned his elbows on his knees, still brooding over what was happening just a few hundred yards away. Soon he would start to hear loud music and the hubbub of that horde of young men. He would not be able to sleep and he would have been envious of Mingus'mother, who managed to be less apprehensive than he was and who had left a couple of hours before, to return to her tour.  
The man picked up his daughter and Y/N felt her heart fill with joy, like every time she saw them together.  
Every day she looked more like them.

"Are you happy to be here?"  
The man's question astonished her.

"Sure... This place is wonderful!"

Norman nodded, hiding a hint of pride in his choice.  
Their daughter rebelled against his grip, preferring to stand next to him and play with his hair.

"It would be nice to always live in such a place... With only beaches and woods around you..."

Y/N's words surprised him. Where was the New York rain fanatic?  
He saw her wander toward the sea, where the screams of their guests could be heard clearly.

"And to think that it could even be better! There are usually not thirty people trying to get drunk!", he smiled at her and received only a sigh in return.

Y/N sank back down onto the bench, breathing in the salty air.  
She still wondered if she had done well to accept to drop everything to go to an isolated island in the Bahamas, right now that she was starting to live again.  
Perhaps it was the signal that what Orlando had accused her of only a few months earlier which was not so far away from reality: If Norman called, she ran to him.  
Of course, technically the call had come from Mingus this time, but Y/N wasn't there with the boy now, she was with her daughter's father and she couldn't even imagine parting with him again, after all that time away from him.

Norman noticed her thoughtful expression.  
"I'm so happy to have you both here... It doesn't seem real to me yet!"

He squeezed his daughter slightly, removing a hand that had already clung to his hair again.

"To tell the truth, not even to me. Yesterday I was in the middle of central Paris and today I'm here..."

"So... How's the work going? The film's promotion is over..."

Norman's disinterested tone still couldn't sound convincing.

"Yes, finally! The usual setbacks... But in the end everything went smoothly."

"In the past you would have been furious over the usual setbacks...", the man addressed her, remembering how precise she was at work compared to her private life.

"Back then I would have been furious over a lot of things.", she merely answered, looking at her daughter tenderly.

Suddenly they were distracted by a strangely deafening music made of distorted guitars. Norman was convinced that he had already heard that sound a billion times.  
She replied with a smile and a shrug, hinting at the words of what was one of the most famous songs in the punk world. Finally she answered her phone and went to a corner of the veranda. The man could hear her speak as she turned her back to him and scanned the horizon.  
How many things did he not know about that woman yet? Everyday she presented herself with a new surprise, a new expression or just an insignificant thing like that.  
He stood up watching her, forgetting everything else, even his daughter for a moment, who had now gone over to the destruction of the pillows.  
Norman would have liked to be able to steal some of those words, but Y/N was too far away and the sound of the wind in the white awnings certainly didn't help him.

"Yeah... Yeah sure... Don't worry!"

The call had to be over and Y/N hung up, approaching him again with a slight smile on her lips.  
Norman pretended not to be interested at all and concentrated again on his daughter.

"Work?", he asked her casually, perhaps too ostentatiously.

"No, no..."

"Johnny Depp?"

Y/N raised a frowning and incredulous look on him at the same time. How did it occur to him to ask her something like that?

"It was Danai..."

"Oh... All right..."

Y/N sat down next to him again and couldn't keep quiet.  
"But... Why did you thought it was Johnny?"

The man replied with a shrug, without looking at her.  
"Oh because of nothing... I seemed to understand that you have become very close friends..."

Some days that thought kept hammering in his head and the inflection on those words betrayed all his nervousness.

"What do you want to know, Norman? If I fuck him?"

"Be quiet Y/N!"

The man picked his daughter up, knowing that she wasted no time in repeating that sentence.  
Y/N fell silent and immediately regretted being so abrupt. It always bothered her to talk to him about her private life.  
But Norman continued, not giving her time to look for a loophole.

"I just want to know how things are between you. I know it's not my business..."

"It's okay."  
Y/N's answer came completely unexpected.  
"To be honest I don't even know how things are. We're fine together... Well, Johnny is a fantastic man..."

Norman raised both eyebrows, showing all his doubts.  
"I care only for our daughter, I don't want him to become fond of what happened with Orlando..."

Y/N wanted to punch him. Why did he have to be so stupid? Why did he have to point out again that it wasn't for her or both of them at least? She felt hurt and even dumb for her weakness, so she didn't waste time and decided to repay him with the same coin.

"Yeah... Since your girlfriend is now a constant presence, are you really going to marry her?"

"Who the hell said that?"  
Norman's eyes widened and looked at her.

"Well, everyone. The newspapers... Some friends... I think it's normal, by now you have been together for a long time."

"Well, I mean, not that I didn't think of it. But I don't know if she want to. We'll see..."  
He was visibly embarrassed and Y/N continued.

"Who knows... Maybe it would be time to give your daughter a little brother..."

Silence.  
Norman had no idea what Y/N was trying to do.  
They weren't friends, why did they have to talk like that then? No, they would have never been friends and he would never have told her about such a thing, not at least in front of their one and a half year old daughter.

"Now I think it's bedtime for this princess."

Y/N pretended not to notice, knowing that Norman had deliberately avoided answering her.  
She pounced on the chubby cheeks of the little girl to make her laugh before seeing her disappear behind the windows, in her Dad's arms.  
She stood there alone, on the terrace of a grandiose villa in the middle of nowhere.  
From a distance you could hear the deafening music of the boys and closer the unmistakable sound of a guitar.  
Why had she done it?  
She was terrified that one day her number one enemy and Norman could have children of their own.  
She knew he had no right, but the feeling of fear was stronger than her.  
She still loved that man too much.


	89. Chapter 85

"You'll end up getting burned Norman!"

"Who? Me? You're kidding... I never burned myself!"

Y/N approached the man's back, handing him a glass of red wine, which he welcomed with a pleased sigh.

"What could be better than staying here, kissed by the Bahamian sun with your favorite wine?"

His voice sounded even deeper than usual in that silent corner of paradise.  
Y/N smiled, bringing her face close to the man's to whisper in his ear.  
The man sighed, feeling unusual shivers running down his back, despite the heat of the sun. Perhaps he would really end up getting burned this time.  
Y/N's whisper died on Norman's lips, while he turned around to draw her to him and force her to slide on his legs. The taste of salt on the woman's skin made her even more seductive.

"How about taking a bath?"  
It was not a simple invitation, Y/N had something in mind to judge by her provocative gaze and the slight inflection of her voice.  
Norman reluctantly released her and saw her walk away towards the deck of the boat.  
They were the only two of them that day, their daughter would stay on the beach with everyone else, so they could spend some time together.  
He sipped his wine, enjoying that marvelous view: Y/N took off her swim suit with a studied slowness and stopped at the lower part of it.  
The man had to make a considerable effort to resist and remain seated. Everything about that body seemed to scream with desire and passion.  
Y/N turned her head slightly towards him, leaving him to admire her for a few moments and climbing the step that would take her to the edge of the boat.

"Hey, what are you doing?"  
Norman was stunned when he saw her take off her clothes and being completely naked on the deck. It lasted only a second, before he saw her disappear into the sea.

"Y/N!"

If there was one thing he was terrified of, it was the open sea. He knew how to swim very well, but the depths of the ocean gave him a primordial fear that prevented him from even jumping out of his own boat.  
He got up worried, looking out over the balustrade.  
Y/N had not yet risen to the surface but the bubbles could be seen where she had dived.  
And there she was finally re-emerging, a siren with diaphanous skin and eyes prettier than the ocean itself.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?"

"Come on, go for it!", she urged him, smiling like a child.

"Forget it, it's dangerous!"

" But how? Look... It's very clear! You see everything!"

"Exactly! I won't come in there!"

"All right... Coward!"

"Don't go away! Y/N?"  
He saw her dive again and swim a few feet offshore, while every part of her perfect body was visible from the clear water.

He finished his wine, turning his face to the rays of the sun and inhaling the very special scent that the air had only there.

"Norman!"  
His peace was suddenly disturbed by the call of Y/N, who seemed to be in difficulty.

"Y/N!"

"I got a cramp!"

Norman felt the panic growing and for a moment he had the instinct to look around for help. He would have thrown her a life preserver but Y/N was too far away to be able to get it to her.  
He didn't have time to think about it, so he left the glass and took off his jeans to jump into the sea.  
The impact with the cold water caught him by surprise and forced him to swim even faster, towards the woman.  
Only a little bit was missing when he finally saw her eyes and saw her smile.

"You bitch! Are you serious?"

Y/N tried to hold on to him, without ceasing to laugh at his little joke, but he pushed her away, annoyed. How could she have been so petty as to make him jump like that?

"Oh come on... I just wanted you to get over your fear..."

Norman looked away, feeling he wouldn't be able to stay angry much longer. He realized that the woman's legs had clung to his waist and that contact reminded him that she was completely naked.

"And then... You were so nice to save me. You're my hero..."

Y/N lingered with her lips on his neck and Norman struggled to stay afloat, he was about to lose control and there was nothing more difficult than letting himself go into the open sea.

"I'll make you pay...", he told her, moving away from her and starting to swim back to the boat.

Y/N followed him a few meters away and, when they finally arrived at the ladder, stopped him pulling him back. She said nothing to him, but forced him to turn around, drawing him to herself and gluing her lips to his.  
Norman was puzzled, locked against the boat by the woman's naked body, which emerged from the water from time to time.

"Y/N... What are you doing?'

He tried to wriggle away, but the woman's grip was too strong.

"What do you think?", she murmured, without giving him time to reply.

Now Norman was also giving way as he felt her tongue, exploring every inch of his salty skin.  
He tried to keep his head clear, but Y/N's hands that were pulling on his underwear did not allow him to think.

"But... We can't..."  
His protests didn't sound credible even to his ears.

"Of course we can!"  
Y/N had no intention of giving up.

She was there, feeling her body moving against his chest.  
"But... There could be sharks...", he tried to say between sighs.

Y/N positioned herself on him, clinging to the ladder and harpooning him again with her legs, to become one with his body.

"Then let them look..."  


  
"Norman?"

Norman woke up in shock. It took him a few moments to figure out where he was.  
There was no boat and he was not in the middle of the ocean making love with Y/N, who now looked at him bewildered.

"What... What is it?", he asked, stammering.

He jumped up from the hammock, trying to hide the erection visible under his shorts.  
He was embarrassed to death, he had never had an erotic dream like that, only to find himself with his protagonist a few inches away from his face.

"Hey... Are you okay? You were complaining... You must have had a nightmare!"  
The woman approached dangerously, while he turned his back to her and prepared himself a cigarette.

"Yes, yes... A nightmare. But now I remember almost nothing..."

He concentrated on the tobacco, hoping that Y/N wasn't there anymore.  
Yet he could feel the warmth of her body, it was as if all his senses had intensified and tormented him. He didn't want to think about it... He shouldn't think about it at all.

"Come inside... The party will last until tomorrow. You can't stay out here sleeping in a hammock, you won't control them anyway!"

Y/N's hand had barely touched his shoulder and the desire, which Norman was trying to hold back, was there again.  
He turned around abruptly and found her there in front of him, with her white linen shirt; she looked even better than in his dream.  
Y/N seemed to recognize that look and seemed to want to escape and go back inside, but Norman was quicker and stopped her before she could start any argument.  
They stood looking at each other for a few moments, unsure and terribly torn between instinct and reason. Norman knew it was what she wanted too, he saw it in her eyes and heard it in her slightly agitated breath.  
He approached her body without squeezing her, brought her face close to his, caressing her cheek with his temple and savoring her unmistakable scent.

"Norman, don't! We can't..."

He felt her hands on his back and smiled with his eyes closed, thinking back to his dream.

"Of course we can."


	90. Chapter 86

"What are you doing?"

Norman had just woken up, feeling the commotion in the room next to his.  
He had needed a few seconds to realize that this time there had been no dream: He and Y/N had made love that night.  
Now she was standing there in front of the bed in what should have been her room: She was still dressed only in her white shirt, her hair ruffled and the shocked expression, of who had just realized that she had made a huge mistake.

"I'm leaving!", she answered without even looking at him as she packed all her clothes in her suitcase.

"You're going?" No... You can't leave now..."

He went to the bed, trying to get all the stuff out of her hands.

"Norman, please! I can't stay here..."

Her eyes never lied when she was about to leave and now Norman knew it too well.

"But our daughter?"

"She will stay here with you... I think she needs to spend some time with his father. And two journeys would be too many for her for her right now."

She pulled back a bit of hair, looking around confusedly. She was probably checking that she hadn't forgotten anything.

"You don't have to leave because of what happened tonight!"  
The man's voice was steadier now.

Y/N felt herself almost falling down, recognizing him again a few inches from herself. She could feel the unmistakable call of his skin and the smell of his body.

"Yes I have to! Don't you realize? We've been two fools! Again. Fuck... I can't believe it!"

She took a few steps, trying to close the zipper of the suitcase, without success.  
Norman knew she was right.  
He had betrayed himself and could not even blame the excessive alcohol or the advances of the woman: It was he who had attracted her to him, it was he who had let go of all brakes.  
And it was always he who could not repent now, remembering that passionate night.

"You don't really think so, you liked it. I know it's like that! Y/N?"

He looked desperately for her eyes, which kept escaping him.

"Norman, are you there?"  
The bodyguard's voice forced them to take another step back, so great was the fear that someone would discover them.

The man leaned against the doorway with a tired expression.  
"I'm going to bed now! Mingus will probably go to bed soon too!"

Norman realized only then that it was dawn and that if the man or the boys had arrived only half an hour before, they would have found him and Y/N in the same bed.

"Yes, okay, it's fine…"

He didn't know what to answer. At that moment everything was getting back into his mind, even that Mingus had ended up disobeying him, as expected. He felt he had the guilt branded on his forehead and that his friend must have discovered it at first glance.  
The man standing in the doorway seemed to notice the embarrassment and decided to leave, not without having thrown a baffled look at the half-open suitcase.

"Already leaving?"

"Well... Yes, I have to go back to work. But I leave my daughter here with you all for a few more days."

Y/N tried to be as credible as possible, but had some doubts about her interpretation. And Norman's nervous gestures, who continued to torture his hair, did not help.

"Too bad. I would have liked to have a swim with you together! I know you'd beat me!"

The man greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and the woman had the unhealthy instinct to cry and look for comfort in his powerful arms.

"I'll call a taxi for you...", Norman finally said as soon as he heard the guard's footsteps moving off into the corridor.

Y/N nodded, unable to look at him.  
She should have changed and she didn't even dare to undress in front of him right now.  
The man seemed to understand and decided to leave. He was disappointed, as he stopped only for a moment at the door.

"Stay Y/N! Just for one more day... Please..."  
He hated having to pray to her and he hated to know that the answer would be negative and continued.  
"You know it's our last chance..."

Of course she knew, but Y/N would have left anyway.


	91. Chapter 87

Y/N Y/L/N and Johnny Depp.  
Johnny Depp and Y/N Y/L/N.

It seemed that all the newspapers did not talk about anything else. And why did he buy those newspapers anyway?  
Since Y/N left the island, Norman had done nothing but think about what had happened between them.  
After a first moment of bewilderment, he was angry with himself for having sent the whole thing upside down. Right now that they had managed to keep up a serene relationship, there he was to arrive with his absurd dreams.  
Returning to Los Angeles had been traumatic, especially since his girlfriend was there waiting for him, more beautiful and smiling than ever. She seemed so happy to see him again, now that his short vacation was over and above all, now that she could spend some time with his little daughter too.  
Norman watched her play with her daughter and instead of being proud and attracted to her, he kept hearing Y/N's words ringing in his ears: He and his girlfriend could have given her a little brother.

The idea, which had been buzzing in his head, now seemed to him as far away as ever.  
Where once he saw a sweet and motherly woman, now he saw only a woman, who was playing to be a mother to another's daughter. And that scared him to death, because he knew it wasn't like that, that those were just distortions of his mind.  
He remembered all too well the feeling of anguish, which had turned into a knot in his stomach. He had had to make a gigantic effort to appear happy at that news, but the truth was that he wanted to escape a thousand miles from there, from her and from that perspective, of which they had spoken about dozens of times now.  
Now that everything had turned out to be a false alarm, Norman couldn't help but think that sooner or later they would have to face that subject again, sooner or later his partner would have put him at a crossroads and he would have had to give in, if only for the sense of guilt.  
He had behaved badly, he had left his Ex-Wife for his now girlfriend back then and then her for Y/N, now he risked ruining everything all over again.  
Why did he always make the same mistakes?

"Look Norman... Look at how good she looks with this hat. You will be a beautiful woman!"

Norman forced himself to sketch a slight smile, but he could not convince the woman.

"What's wrong with you? Any bad news?", she asked, glancing at the newspaper, which the man still held in his hand.

"Oh no... Some reviews..."

"Nothing good?"

"No... But anyway, I'll go out soon to go to the supermarket... Do you need anything?"

He approached her, kissing her and feeling like a worm just for doing it.

"No, I will go out as soon as the Nanny arrives!"

Norman put on his cap and got into the car, finally breathing in and out deeply.  
He couldn't keep on lying like that, he wasn't made for that kind of thing and the situation was slowly killing him. Luckily in a couple of days, he would leave for a few shots in Georgia, just what he needed to get his head clear and get away from it all.

Suddenly his bodyguard arrived out of breath and climbed into the passenger seat, biting into his donut.  
The man had always followed him on each of the sets in which he worked. The filming of his new movie had just begun and Norman had to admit that, although it was a project he really cared about, he couldn't concentrate on what he was doing.  
He nodded thoughtfully, looking at the newspaper with a huge writing and then dropped it on the seat next to him, wondering how Y/N could have become infatuated with that man next to her.  
Certainly the bodyguard didn't understand the meaning of all those written, but it didn't make any effort to recognize the profile of Y/N on the pages.  
Norman saw him shake his head repeatedly.

"What?", he finally asked, annoyed.

"Oh nothing... You just can't help it."

Norman intercepted the man's eyes through the car's mirror and hoped his lenses would hide him.

"I worry about her, that's all!"

"Yes, of course. About Y/N? Come on Norman. You worry about yourself!"

Norman stood up slightly in his seat to look between the man and the driver, who kept driving in silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing! I don't want to get involved into that situation.", the man answered and looked out of the window, but the actor had no intention of letting him.

"Okay, you're officially involved then! If you want or not!"

The bodyguard exchanged an eloquent glance with the driver, who, although he remained fixed on the road, he knew practically everything. Finally he turned around, meeting his friend's eyes.

"Then what are you still doing here? Go to her for fucks sake!"

Perhaps of all the things that Norman would have expected, that was definitely the last.

"What are you saying?"

"We can't take this story anymore! You chase Y/N, Y/N chases you, you run away, she runs away... And again from the beginning.", he said and pointed to the newspaper with a nod of his head.

"Y/N and I are over... I'm sure of my relationship at the moment! I don't want to lose her again."

"Well... Then you should avoid doing what you did in the Bahamas..."

Fuck. He knew that he had understood everything. Denying the evidence... That was what Norman wanted to do right now.

"I didn't do anything at all! It's just that she's gone halfway around the world like usual and we have a daughter to think about... We can not pretend not to know each other."

"Then I'll repeat... Go to her!"

"What are you talking about? It's out of question... The days are over when I was chasing women all over the planet. Don't you have to work? Well, if yes, I have to do the same! If Y/N wants to start over with this... This Depp, then we agree. Everyone will walk his own way!"

"Very well said..."

Norman now settled against the back seat and wandered with his gaze to the crowded streets of Los Angeles, not knowing how to stop thinking about the picture and the headline from the newspaper.


	92. Chapter 88

Norman's voice was lost in the sound of the wind.

"Damn it!", he cursed, barely closing the door. They were in the midst of a storm and his bodyguard had decided to go look for his damn tablet. Assuming he had found it, it certainly wouldn't have helped him, since all the lines of communication were broken at the moment.  
He sat on the ground, sighing, his back leaning against the wall and the pack of cigarettes in his hand.  
The storm did not look as disastrous as the previous ones, but it had surprised everyone with the speed with which it had hit the coasts.  
Now they had been locked in there for at least twenty-four hours, directors, actors, technicians, costume designers, all locked up in the second floor of a hotel to watch the world around them.

"Want some?"  
A sound engineer, handed him an unattractive-looking burger and Norman refused with shaking his head. He checked his mobile phone, getting up again and going out into the corridor.  
Nothing. There was no connection. For that reason his stubborn bodyguard had gone to recover the computer, in the vain hope of being able to get in touch with someone.  
He smoked his cigarette, not caring about the 'NO SMOKING' sign hanging on all the walls: The hotel was at their complete disposal, the rest of the city must have been evacuated.  
He scanned the images on the phone one by one, smiling like every time in front of his children's photographs. The toothless smile of his daughter and Mingus funny and frightened expression at the sea, only a few days before. How much he missed those two...  
A sudden burst made him jump, detaching him from his father's thoughts.  
He ran to the room he had just left, recognizing the screams of his colleagues. What could have happened?  
He did not have time to look around, as his face was lashed by a thousand pins of water, coming from a shattered window. The intensity of the wind was intensifying and so was the panic of those present, who certainly did not expect such an event.  
They all ran out, carrying the equipment to safety and remained in the corridor, being on alert.  
But where did his bodyguard go?


	93. Chapter 89

"Oh god, everything will be ruined!"

Y/N hold the script, waiting for the make-up artist to intervene.  
It was June, a hellish heat in Paris, as she hadn't remembered for years. Filming was going on slowly and heavy stage costumes certainly didn't help to concentrate.

"Y/N... A phone call!"

"For me?"

It was so strange that they were looking for her at that time, anyone knew she was working and wouldn't answer her mobile phone. If they had contacted her through someone from the set, something serious had happened.  
She withdrew from the hands of the make-up artist to run towards the bungalow.

"Who is it?"

The producer shrugged, leaving her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello Y/N, it's me!"

Norman's Ex-Wife? It was impossible, it couldn't really be her.

"Y/N are you there?"

"Yes... Yes, I'm here... I just didn't expect to hear you..."

"I know, but it's about Norman."

That name was enough and Y/N felt her stomach sink.  
"What's wrong?"

"Listen, I don't want to alarm you... But Norman is in Georgia now and a storm hit them there. We haven't heard from him since yesterday..."

"A storm?"  
Y/N wasn't convinced she understood well.

"Yes, the alert was issued later and it seems that the situation is more serious than what the experts expected! I'm sure Norman's okay, he's used to it... But all the connection is broken and I... Well, Mingus called me this morning and I think I'll take the first flight to Los Angeles. I thought it was right to warn you, you know... In case you're trying to do the same..."

Y/N's brain was trying to reason, lining up that myriad of information.  
The woman was leaving to join her child and ask her if she wanted to join her to be next to her own daughter? And why hadn't she been informed yet?  
Perhaps because it was her who had avoided him all those days, merely talking to her daughter and her Nanny?  
She felt betrayed, then only guilty for never asking for news of the man and finally completely powerless. What was she still doing there, under the French sun?

"Okay, yes... Tell me what time the flight is and I'll be there!"

"In exactly three hours... Now I'll go, I want to make sure they don't make any fuss! See you at the airport!"

"Okay... Thank you!"

"There is no need to thank me, Y/N."


	94. Chapter 90

"Still nothing... The local authorities can't get in touch with his hotel! The rescuers can't move..."

The woman entered the living room with her cell phone still in her hand and an inconsolable expression painted on her face.

"I should have been there too...", the woman said, sitting on the couch right next to his Ex-Wife.

"Stop it, it's not true!"

"Who wants some coffee?"  
Her boyfriend had just entered, with an embarrassing amount of coffee, who also had prepared some fantastic cinnamon cakes.  
Y/N felt her stomach close at the sight of all that stuff. She felt out of place in that reunion.

The other woman seemed the only one to notice her discomfort.

"Wanna go out for a cigarette?"

"I'm trying to quit...", Y/N lied, trying to avoid her gaze.

"Well, keep me company then..."

Y/N got up and followed the woman onto the veranda.

"I think I'll call Mingus again... He must have been here already by now!"  
The woman sat on a step under the porch, lighting her cigarette and scrolling through the phone.  
"That boy is impossible... In a situation like this I can't keep him at home.", she said, waiting patiently for her son to answer.  
"Oh... How I envy you... You will have at least ten years to enjoy this little angel, before she'll stop answering the phone..."

She stroked the child's hair, looking at the cell phone with resignation.  
Mingus was experiencing a moment of rebellion and the fact that he had not been found at home when his mother arrived was just one of the demonstrations of his new anger. The most effective was certainly this new and ostentatious attachment to Norman's now girlfriend, who for her part could not wait to prove to the whole world how much she and Norman's children got along.  
Y/N sat down next to the woman, looking at her with a sad smile and she seemed to notice.

"Hey... You'll see that they'll be able to get in touch. There won't be any storm to stop him."

"Yeah... But if something happened to him, they'd tell us, wouldn't they? What if he is missing... Oh god, I can't even think about it!"

"You really love him a lot, don't you?"

"No, but what's that got to do with it?"  
It was Y/N's prompt reply, who forced herself to smile at her daughter, while she handed her a yellow flower just torn from a vase.

"You care for him even if he's miles away..."

"No... It's just that our daughter is still so small... She needs him..."

Her voice betrayed her and she decided not to go on.  
Those were just excuses, the woman had hit the mark and the idea of being able to lose the only man she had ever loved that much made her die inside.

The woman could not be fooled, managing to see beyond her words.  
"You need him too. Sometimes when I see Norman with you, you two are so alike!"

"What are you saying? We couldn't be more different..."

Y/N could not believe that she had really heard those words. She and Norman were the antipodes, he was so sensitive and full of life, he was an intelligent, brilliant man, with a thousand interests. She was none of this.

"You are two timid... And the timid are always too afraid to talk to each other clearly. Do you remember what I told you in the hospital? Well... I told him too and look here, maybe something changed? You're out here pretending it's nothing and his girlfriend is there and behaves like the landlady. I swear that if you don't stop crying like that, I'll kick you out!"

Y/N laughed, wiping her tears quickly.  
"Nothing has changed because nothing has changed. Norman is really in love with that woman, and even if we don't like him to be with our children, we must resign ourselves to the evidence... She knows how to be around them and above all, ist makes him happy."

"I resigned myself from that many years ago because of that matter.", the woman smiled, looking back at the phone, which was now ringing in her hands.  
"Mingus? Where the hell are you!"

Y/N remained silent, turning the little flower in her hands.  
Nothing was true, everything had changed since her daughter was born; she and Norman had fallen back on it, they had loved each other again, they had betrayed his girlfriend's trust and now they were so ashamed of what they had done, that they hadn't talked for days.  
If only some news would come, if only they would've given her the confirmation that he was fine... She felt that the anguish would devour her. She needed to hear his voice, which told her that everything would be fine, like every time.


	95. Chapter 91

Norman was trying to stretch his feet under the back seat.  
He was dead tired after that useless journey, he hadn't even managed to finish his work and now who knows how long it would have taken, before they all could return to their set. They would have had to move the shots, get other permits, make other projects slip away... That storm had really put all it's efforts into ruining his life.

"And be careful!"  
The bodyguard complained to the driver.

"Then you should stop playing the hero!"  
It was the driver's reply.

Norman yawned, thinking back to his mother's smile as soon as he saw it.  
He had decided to go first to her, so as to reassure her once and for all, he could only imagine the apprehension of those hours without any news.  
There he was, finally at home.  
He wouldn't have packed his bags for at least a year, he wouldn't have moved from there for any reason in the world. All he needed was a good taco and a shower of at least an hours.

"Dad!"

He hadn't even got out of the car when his face lit up as he saw the smiles of his son running towards him.

"Hey champion!"  
He immediately embraced Mingus, ruffling his hair and then took his daughter in his arms, kissing her on the forehead. He did not imagine being so excited, after all they hadn't seen each other for only a few days, but the fear of not being able to see them again had made him feel lost.

"I missed you so much!", he said taking his little girl's hand and pretending to eat it.

"Come on let's go in... I have a terrible hunger!", he said putting the little girl on the ground, to see her walking alone.

He looked up and found himself facing his girlfriend's eyes. Only the time of a glance and she was already in his arms, tears streaming down her face.  
"I was so scared Norman!"

The man stroked her long hair, trying to comfort her.  
"It's okay... I was locked in a hotel for two days... But everything is fine.", he smiled, slightly moving away from that hug and realized what was happening in his living room.  
His Ex-Wife was there, with her big eyes and her confident smile. She knew he would come back, she knew him too well.  
He went over to place a kiss on her cheek and saw the unmistakable figure a few steps away from them. He could not believe that Y/N was in Los Angeles, that she had returned there for him and above all that she was in the same room with his Ex-Wife and her number one enemy.

They didn't smile, their eyes met and he immediately realized that she had been crying.  
Norman pulled out his cell phone, looking around with a confused expression.  
Y/N had suddenly disappeared from that room and he didn't know what else to do except sit on the couch surrounded by his whole family. Only his Ex-Wife's expression made him understand that she knew.

"Guys, why don't you let him go take a shower? Sorry Norman but you really smell like a goat!"

"Yes, I really need it..."  
He got up, between the disappointed looks of those present and headed for the corridor.  
He did not even have time to go for a walk, as his daughter's desperate cry forced him to stop.

"What happened? Oh, honey, what is it?"

Perhaps he had underestimated what had happened, even though only a few days had passed, the little girl must have realized that something was wrong and now she didn't seem the least bit intent on letting him out of that room.  
Norman took her from the Nanny's arms, wiping her tears with the corner of his scarf. There was nothing worse than seeing those eyes shining with tears.

"Daddy...", she just murmured, sniffling, and Norman cleaned her eyes with a smile.

"Okay, come with Dad... Now let's go to the garden to look for Mommy..."

He kissed her hair, while the little girl abandoned her head against his chest, squeezing her hands around his neck.  
That would be the only chance to talk to Y/N, far from his girlfriend's jealous glances.  
He slipped into the corridor, still talking to his daughter, who was now sucking her own thumb.  
He knew where he would find her, exactly where Y/N was hiding whenever she wanted to be alone in that huge house.  
He was not surprised when he stepped out onto the porch and pointed to the small house in the back of the estate. She must have seen him coming, because he noticed that Y/N had her back to him and was drying her eyes.  
He made the act of putting his daughter down but the child started crying again, not wanting to leave his embrace.  
Y/N pushed her hair away from her daughter's red face, forcing herself to smile at her.

"She missed you very much..."

"I missed her too...", he merely said, looking in vain for her gaze.

"I tried to make her live these days to the fullest, but it was impossible for her not to notice what was happening, she was so confused..."

"You shouldn't have worried so much!"

"I know..."

"I didn't expect to find you here..."

"She needed you."

Of course, Norman expected that answer. Yet he read every emotion on her face very well. By now Y/N could no longer lie to him as she had for all those months. Now both knew what they felt for each other. Hiding no longer made any sense.  
Their daughter stretched out her arms to go to her mother, who took her in her arms and kissed her forehead.  
There was something perfect about that image, something that Norman him from moving, while Y/N walked away.


	96. Chapter 92

Norman had eaten, had a shower, and was now enjoying the light breeze of the evening in his park.  
His Ex-Wife took his cigarette from his hands, lighting it and throwing out a cloud of smoke. That damn habit would never have abandoned them, they had tried to stop thousands of times but nothing seemed to work with them, not even the electronic cigarettes from which they sucked convulsively clouds of steam. All because of that fantastic tobacco that Y/N had discovered years ago.

"Not even time to say goodbye and Mingus went out again... What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing of which you are not already aware..."

"Tell me that he is with his friends at least!"

The woman smiled, looking at her feet as they moved side by side along the tree-lined avenue.

"No... He's with a girl. It seems like that he is in love!"

"In love?"

" How old were you when you fell in love for the first time?"

Norman smiled, thinking it was the truth. You fall in love at that age, when you have the impression of having the world in your hands.

"Don't tell me you really thought about not seeing my ugly face again?"

Norman lit his cigarette, studying the delicate profile of what had always been 'his girlfriend'.

"Oh no ... I thought you're not real when you got home, maybe you're just an illusion or ghost right now."

They both laughed, stopping under a centuries-old tree, on which their son's names was engraved.

"Look here, you can still see it!"  
The woman touched the letters with uncertain fingers.

"A lot has happened..."

"Yeah... Sometimes I think about it and I wonder how we managed to get this far."

Norman just narrowed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. He didn't even know it: Life, choices, routine or perhaps too little routine.

"You should also have your daughter's name engraved here."

Those unexpected words hit him.  
"Are you serious?"

"Sure... She too has the right for her star on the 'Tree of Fame'!"

The woman's smile said she was sincere.  
Norman sat at the foot of the tree, where the roots sprouted slightly from the ground.

"I think we will have to wait a few more years before she knows how to write... Even if with the Y/L/N genes I wouldn't be surprised if she already knew how to read and kept it hidden!"

"Y/N doesn't look like a nerd."

"Oh, you really think so?"

The woman watched him smile in silence, while the man looked down again and ripped off the edge of his ruined jeans a little more.

"Why did you let her leave?"

Norman looked up at her again, as if he didn't expect those words.

"What, why? She had to work... Y/N must always work."

The last sentence betrayed a bitter aftertaste, which the woman certainly could not escape.

"When I called her she was working but she gave up everything because of you..."

"Did you call her?"

"Sure, we came here together... Your daughter had a much greater need for her mother than for the boy! But she didn't even know you were in Georgia."

"See... Y/N and I don't talk much lately!"

The woman put out her cigarette on the ground and looked back at him.  
"But why do you insist on behaving this way? Even Y/N... You should have seen her these days... I have never seen such a distressed person in my life."

"Please stop it... You start sounding like my mother!"

"And it seems to me to hear Y/N instead... You are absurd, you are all waiting for the moves of the other and who knows why no one wants to get out of this limbo, in which you have gone lost. What is so beautiful about staying away from the person you love and pretending that everything is okay? I would never have been able to stay away from you."

"But you are not Y/N!"

Yes, she was not Y/N.  
He still remembered with a smile that first morning, when he had looked at her lying beside him and had noticed a similarity between the two women. How wrong was he?  
His Ex-Wife was quite the opposite but at the same time she was so in tune with her and this scared him a little.  
He sighed and decided to go on, knowing full well that it was time to talk.

"You should ask her... I tried, okay? I tried with all my strength, I tried to make her stay so many times, that by now I've lost count. She can't face herself, her feelings... I don't even know what she's afraid of!"

"And you? What are you afraid of?"

Norman was puzzled, he didn't have an answer to give her.  
"I... Oh, I don't know! I'm afraid of her insecurity, I'm afraid she wakes up one morning and decides to leave again... I'm kinda afraid of her!"

A bitter smile was painted on the man's face.

"That's not really good, don't you think so?"

"Of course not, but you have to admit that in these years you showed her a much weaker Norman than I knew. In short, an examination of conscience! How many has she been through? And how many times do you still have to see yourself in the arms of another woman, to convince yourself that you don't care? Okay... I know... Now you will tell me that these are your choices and you're okay and blah blah blah..."

Norman didn't even have time to answer her. The woman always knew how to silence him.  
He looked up at the slightly golden light in her eyes.

"Let her see who you really are, Norman..."

What if she was right?  
He and Y/N had always been 'interrupted' by insecurities, which led him to look for a simple and reliable feeling in another woman's arms. And it was him who decided to stop everything, not to fight and all for his fucking fear of being alone.  
But was that what he really wanted? Of course not.  
He had told her in the clinic, he had told her in his living room and also in the Bahamas... But maybe that was the problem: He had only told her.  
Norman remained motionless, continuing to be filled with the opinions of others. And it was because he was afraid. The fear of falling in love again that way had not only been Y/N's, he had felt completely guilty, powerless and humiliated at the same time and no woman had ever reduced him that way. Never.  
But how to try to explain two years of back and forth, of silences and words out of order?  
His Ex-Wife didn't need him to do it. He got up, wiping his jeans from the dry leaves, then the woman held out her hand to him.

"What are you looking at me like that?"  
Norman knew that look.

"What do you say, would you let me go to France with you?"


	97. Chapter 93

Y/N quickly got out of the car and greeted him with a final wave of her hand, trying to cover her hair from the rain. Johnny would wait until he saw her safely return home, not denying his reputation as a knight.  
She put the keys in the lock and quickly entered her apartment, breathing a sigh of relief once she removed her shoes. She passed in front of the mirror, untangling her hair with a single gesture and headed for the bedroom.  
Shr couldn't believe it had lasted so long: How boring could a dinner with friends be? People talking about football and wines had been too much for her and her proverbial misanthropy.  
She unbuttoned her light gray suit jacket, then lowered the zipper of her skirt, which quickly slipped to her feet.  
The sound of the phone startled her and it took her a few moments to get back into the living room and rummage through her purse, to find it.  
Norman?  
Why did he call her at that time of night? The anguish immediately took hold of her, thinking that something had happened again.

"Hello Norman?"  
Her voice betrayed great apprehension.

"Do you think this is the time to come back?"  
Was he scolding her? Y/N was so disturbed by the severity of those words that she didn't even notice the strangeness of the question.

"Norman... Is it really you?"

"Of course it's me..."  
The line seemed disturbed.

"I told you I was at that dinner ... Is everything all right, there?"

By now their telephone discussions had returned the same as in the past, or a quick bulletin on the health of their daughter, before hearing her little voice articulating the words, which she learned every day.

Norman seemed incredibly calm, despite his unpromising start.  
"She is very well. She can't wait to see her mother again."

Y/N could hear the child's voice in the distance and, like every night, she couldn't wait to talk to her.  
"Pass me by, please..."

"Wait a minute... Hey? She's there, your Mom..."

Y/an looked at her reflection in the mirror and her face that opened in a smile, recognizing the high voice of her child.  
Suddenly she saw her happy and anxious expression turn into a mask of confusion. She must have had too much champagne, there was no other explanation.

"Mommy!"

"Honey?"

She pushed the phone away from her ear, looking around disoriented. She was her baby, she could hear her and she wasn't on the phone.  
Instinct made her run to the front door to throw it open and find herself facing a completely exhausted and rain-soaked Norman and her little girl all covered by the little raincoat.  
She felt herself almost swooning with joy, when she took her from the man's arms to hold her and cover her with kisses. It seemed like a dream, she couldn't believe she was there.  
Norman cleared his throat and his eyes reminded her that she was wearing only underwear.

"God... Well... Come in!"

She retreated from the doorway in embarrassment and left the child on the ground, quickly slipping on something random.  
Norman put his duffel bag on the ground. It was the first time he saw Y/N's apartment and he was amazed at how different it was from that in New York.  
Everything in there was talking about her, even that terrible and perpetual disorder. The warm-toned walls were covered with old posters from author's and dated photographs. The huge piano that stood out in the middle of the living room was surrounded by plants of all kinds and next to it was the largest vinyl collection Norman probably had ever seen.

"Come on... Take a seat! What are you doing here anyway?"

The man tried to smile but he felt out of place, now that he was still there and dripping water on the parquet. He watched her for a few seconds and realized he had made that long journey, without even thinking about what he would say to her once he met her eyes.  
He had had no other choice, his Ex-Wife's words had continued to buzz in his head all night, until he had decided to follow her advice.  
And so now he was in France. Exhausted, hungry and with no idea what he was doing at all.  
The cinematographic practice would have wanted Y/N to open the door, he would've told her how much he loved her and they'd have ended up making love on the carpet in the living room. But that wasn't a script.

"Are you hungry? Did she eat, Norman?"

Y/N, as expected, was more concerned with her daughter's health than with the fact that Norman had just flown over the globe to reach her. But even this was one of the reasons he had done it.

"Yes, she ate while we came here. She goes crazy for these French food..."

Y/N looked at him with a wink, as she finished undressing the child and then headed for the kitchen.  
Norman took off his leather jacket and followed her, watching her as she prepared the baby's milk bottle. Only then did the woman seem to remember him.

"Oh sorry, I didn't even ask you if you're hungry too. I have almost nothing at home but I can make you a sandwich... Or one of my soups you hate so much!"

"Go for the sandwich!"

Y/N handed him the bottle and he went to sit on the sofa with his daughter.

"You came back late...", he began again.

"Were you spying on me?"

"No, I was locked in a taxi and I was waiting for you to come home."

"You could have called me!"

They were cold again. The memory of their last meeting was still too clear.

"She wanted to surprise you!"

Y/N didn't answer and continued to wash the salad.

"Was it Johnny?"  
Norman's voice wasn't as sure as a moment before.

"Yes..."

"Did you end up with him?"

"Did you see him come in?"

Norman raised both eyebrows, amazed by that dry and resentful reply.  
No, actually Depp was not in that house, he hadn't even done the act of wanting to stay. Perhaps Norman had misunderstood everything, letting himself be influenced by the newspapers.

"Johnny and I are just friends. I wish it would work with him, but..."  
Y/N decided not to go ahead and gave him her back instead.

Norman studied her long bare legs, poking out of her clothes. He got up, putting their daughter in the high chair and only came a few steps closer to her.

"You don't ask me why I'm here?"

"She wanted to surprise me... That's what you said.", she replied with a serious sounding voice, resuming her sentence just before.

She turned around to walk away from him and handed him the sandwich plate, along with a cold beer.  
Norman couldn't even look at it.  
"Y/N, please stop!"

She did. She stopped torturing her hair and wishing she was miles away.

"Why won't you look at me?"

"Norman... We've already talked about it. Nothing has changed..."

"No, we haven't talked about it. You ran away again... You always run away from me."

He took her hand, sure that she would withdraw it but it didn't happen.

"How long will I have to keep chasing you before you understand it?"

Y/N shook her head. She didn't know whether to believe him or not, she didn't know whether to give in and she didn't want to do it again.

"Can't we... Don't you realize how wrong this whole situation is?"

She didn't want to look at him, she didn't want to feel his breath so close to her skin.

"Yes, I see it... Fuck Y/N, I see it! It's all wrong... It's wrong that you and I don't even talk to each other anymore. It is wrong that you cannot look into my eyes. And do you know what's more wrong? That we must force ourselves to stay thousands of miles away to resist what we feel for each other!"

He had said it.  
He had spent almost a year denying the evidence even to himself and now he found himself repeating what everyone had told him to exhaustion, making him go on a rampage.  
He felt her walking away frightened by a possible contact and her voice sounded sharp, as she said those words.  
"No... What are you saying? What do you still want from me?"

“What I want? That's what you're asking me? Wasn't it clear enough for you that night on the Bahamas? I would die for you!"

"Norman... Don't!"

It was not a no and Norman knew it well. It was enough to cover again the distance that Y/N wanted to put between them. Yet Norman approached her and put his lips on those of the woman, who insisted on not returning the kiss. But it was only a matter of a few moments before Y/N gave in to the well-known feeling. She could not fight it, her body seemed to respond to Norman's independently.


	98. Chapter 94

A sudden noise forced them to separate, to shift their attention to their daughter, who had just thrown her bottle on the ground, to make it clear that she didn't want any more.

"Hey hey... Not so violent Honey!", Norman said, reluctantly moving away to pick it up.

Y/N recomposed herself and followed him to the high chair, cleaning the milk left on the floor. It was then that the man's attention was drawn to something unusual.

"And this?"  
He touched the back of her neck, uncovered now that the woman had pulled her hair to one side. He felt her shrink slightly from the pain.

"Nothing... I said I would do it..."

Norman then read the words out aloud. 'To Die For'  
He couldn't believe that Y/N had really decided to get a tattoo.

"What does it mean?"

"You know what it means.", she replied, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Yes, but why..."

Y/N had returned to the kitchen counter and was now rinsing the sponge full of milk.  
Norman came over again, brushing her hair away to better see the letters etched on her skin. It was still fresh and the thin crusts needed to be hydrated. He had the instinct to touch her again, even though he knew she wouldn't like it. The mere idea that Y/N had decided to take that step made him feel something strange. It was as if he didn't know her completely, as if in front of him that woman continued to transform herself.

"It must be something very important if you decided to do it..."

Y/N felt the sting followed by the chills caused by the man's whisper on her sensitive skin.  
"It is…"

She didn't have the courage to turn around to find herself face to face with him, but she gradually felt the desire as she recognized the delicate touch of Norman's lips, which touched her neck.

She tried to resist, closed her eyes and abruptly moved away.  
"No, Norman! I don't want to!"

Her words had come out so decided that the man was forced to take a step back.

"Your body tells me otherwise... Stop fighting me!"

Y/N's hand tightened on the marble countertop of the kitchen, before deciding to speak with all the rationality she was capable of. She was angry with him and with herself, with that body that continued to betray her every time she was a few meters away from the man's.

"No... I decide, not my body!"

She turned around and electrocuted him with her determined expression.

"You can't come here without telling me anything and pretend that I welcome you with open arms! You can not! I am no longer that woman! You have chosen... You have already chosen a lot of times... And you have not chosen me!"

Norman was shaken by those words shouted with resentment and disappointment.  
"What are you saying? I didn't choose anything... I didn't decide to go! Don't you remember? You know I've always been in love with you!"

"Oh sure... That's easy to say and then you go back into another woman's arms! What was I supposed to do? No Norman... Not this time... Do you understand what I'm saying? Go back to your girlfriend again. Go back to your life! She... She is the woman for you!"

Her tear-streaked eyes betrayed her real feelings.  
Norman returned more seriously. He bit his lips slightly, struggling to assimilate the meaning of what Y/N had just yelled at him. If it had been for him, he would have thrown her against that damn marble shelf, to show her once and for all that she was wrong, that this was his place and he would never again have made the mistake of letting her go. But Y/N looked at him as if she were afraid of him, as if his closeness was a threat. He could not believe it was happening again, that this woman was so incredibly obstinate as to reject him and definitively throw him out of her heart.

"You want me to go?"

Y/N closed her eyes and part of her died a little bit at the same instant she decided to nod. The man swallowed, blinking, as if he could not process any information. Finally he decided to take a step back, looking at his daughter with resignation.

"Okay... Okay...", he merely murmured, before placing a kiss on his daughter's hair and retracing his steps towards the front door.  
Y/N made an incredible effort to take a few steps and see him pick up his jacket. It was all so incredibly slow, as if even time was begging her to think again before it was too late. But no, she wouldn't have thought better of it: She had decided by now.

"Let me know when you come back..."

The door closed behind him, leaving behind him only the muffled sound of the rain.  
Y/N pulled herself into her jacket, feeling that her legs were about to give up. She had really done it, she had sent him away from her home... She had refused him for the umpteenth time, despite the fact that he had traveled miles and miles to reach her from the other side of the world. The worst part was that she still felt the burning on her skin, where his lips had barely touched her and she was sure now more than ever, that she would feel it forever. She found herself again in front of the mirror, with a pale face of an unhappy and lonely woman who had just thrown away the love of her life. But what was she doing? Was that what her mother had taught her? Was that the life that had to be lived fully? The one she wanted for herself and her little girl?  
Without even knowing how, she found herself in torrential rain in the middle of a deserted road.

She peered into the darkness of the night, illuminated only by a few lighthouses in the distance.

"Norman!", she decided to shout, trying to push her gaze beyond the rain and the slight mist that this created on contact with the heat of the asphalt.  
"Norman..."

And only then did she see a rapid movement and the well-known figure of the man.

"Norman... Wait!"

The man's face was incredulous as he stopped and in turn looked for her in the dark.  
Y/N ran to meet him, feeling the need to hold him close. She could not afford to lose him again.  
So she caught up with him, being out of breath, her hair stuck to her face and her jacket, which showed the bare skin beneath.

"It's the line you said to me back then!", she told him trying to catch her breath as soon as she reached him.

"What?"  
The man looked at her without understanding.

"The tattoo... It's what you once said... Do you remember it?"

Norman responded to her smile with an incredulous expression, while in his mind that memory was making its way, when he said that she was the woman for whom he would even die for.  
Y/N continued, without having the courage to look him in the eye. 

"This phrase encompasses everything... It's something I'll never forget."

Norman moved a strand of wet hair from her forehead, smiling gently at her.  
"I was the one chasing you this time..."

Y/N lost herself in his blue eyes, finally defenseless.

"You always did."

"Because you're the woman I'd die for."


	99. Author's Note

A/N: After so many climbs it's time to go a little downhill for you and Norman, you both deserve it and I hope you appreciate these very first moments as a couple again in every aspect. But above all I hope you like the way I chose to continue the story and not stopping at the last chapter, which probably would've been the perfect ending for everyone. It's a risk, but let's try... Let me know what you think in the comments if you like to.

Kate~


	100. Chapter 95

Norman looked at his shoulder in surprise, recognizing Y/N's hands on it.  
She shouted, trying to drown out the deafening music.  
Y/N smiled at him, continuing to sing without taking her eyes off the stage.  
She had insisted on going to a concert of her favorite band who was in Paris at the moment.  
Although for Norman it was the best way to celebrate his birthday, he had tried to dissuade her, knowing that she was just trying to please him.  
Seeing her now she seemed to have grown up and who knows, maybe it was really like that.  
Why she had never spoken to him remained a mystery, but so many things had happened in the few months they had lived together again, that perhaps their musical tastes had faded into the background.  
And now here they are, in the most private area of the backstage, where only the experts could enter. Yet Norman had the impression of having to remember each of those faces and as always, he found it very funny to pick up all those whispers behind him; it would never change, they couldn't even wait for him to leave a room, to give vent to their comments.  
Y/N instead seemed to give no weight to what was happening around them. He saw her floating towards their bodyguard to help him with the beers, before returning to his side with a huge smile on her face.

"Cheers!"  
She handed him her glass, toasting with him.

"And what are we toasting to?"  
It must have been the sixth or seventh beer of the evening, but Y/N still looked tough.

"To you we toast... To our daughter and Mingus as well... A toast to everyone!"

Norman had to concentrate on her lips, to distinguish the words she was shouting to his ears, so big was the confusion.

"To our friends!", he smiled, involving his bodyguard in that strange toast.

Even he seemed revved up that night. He had had to fly to Paris without the slightest warning, but he had been happy to do so: For once Norman had followed his advice, perhaps the first he had ever given him in so many years. He certainly didn't think it was his Ex-Wife's merit either.

"Why don't you go too?"  
Y/N stood behind him again and wrapped him in an embrace.

Norman smiled at that question, turning slightly to answer.  
"Because this isn't Anthrax and I don't have a bass guitar here, I can't play every time! This is a serious concert... Here are french people!"

"Oh yes... And the French hate you!", the woman teased him, lingering slightly on the most sensitive skin of his neck.

"Exactly!", he replied, recognizing the well-known chills running down his back.

"Oh, I love it! I love it!"

Norman looked at her again surprised, exchanging a knowing glance with his bodyguard.  
It was so strange to see her in that circumstance, she looked like a wild little girl, a teenager from the '60s, who went mad for her usual idols.  
He took a sip of his beer and wandered with his eyes to the delirious audience.  
Y/N took him by the hand, diverting him from those thoughts, but Norman found himself cemented to the ground. He didn't dance, he was stronger than anything else. He never danced, and she knew it better than anyone!

"Come on!", the woman urged him, pulling him slightly with that inviting smile.  
In response Norman raised his hands in surrender and she turned around with a pirouette to grab his bodyguard's big hand, which instead followed her slightly awkwardly due to the bandage still gripping his arm.  
There was yet another ovation before the grand finale.  
It was then that lead singer had the idea of greeting him to wish him well, thus forcing him to go on the stage. The ovation of the public who reached his ears at that moment made him want to be invisible. He didn't want to do it.

"Go Norman!", Y/N encouraged him, almost throwing him onto the stage.

He gave her a dismayed look, before coming to strength and going out into the open.  
He hated that sort of thing but above all he hated feeling so embarrassed in front of thousands of people.  
He had not committed too much to keep his presence there in Paris, but the fact remained that he had escaped from Los Angeles only a few days ago and did not want to put his business on the streets, especially now that with Y/N things they were going well again.  
He greeted, raising his hand slightly with a very embarrassed smile and thanked the band half-heartedly, before taking up the bass guitar, that one of them offered him with a toothy smile. God alone knew how much he wanted to see the face of his partner at that moment.  
Yet he already had enough of the radiant smile that greeted him on his return backstage.

"Norman! You had to see yourself... You're so good!"

He struggled to hold it when Y/N pounced on him, hugging him and jumping in his arms.

"Hey, hey, you'll break him, Sweetheart!", the bodyguard joked, teasing them meekly.

He had seen Norman in love; he was someone who fell in love much more easily than he wanted to admit. He had met him when he was still with his Ex-Wife and in a few months the story had begun, closely followed by the one with his former girlfriend. He had seen him suffer and get angry, destroy himself and getting hate... Yet he had never seen him so relaxed.


	101. Chapter 96

Norman took another sip of beer and returning to focus on the show's last lines. Y/N was telling him something in his ear, something particularly funny judging by her laughter while the bodyguard looked around with slight concern. Everything was going well but his work was not the easiest. Norman and Y/N must have already been seen by a myriad of people by now and if compromising photos were not yet released, it was only a matter of time.  
The truth was that Norman was worried by his former girlfriend's reaction, which had certainly not welcomed his sudden decision to leave.  
The man hadn't had the courage to tell her that he was still in love with Y/N, since he didn't know exactly what was going to happen. All he had told her was that he needed to take some time to stay in Paris with his daughter and her mother.  
A kind of family vacation in short, which had been greeted with a scene of jealousy. And now the last thing Norman wanted was that, as it happened with Y/N at the time of admission, it was the newspapers that preceded him.  
It was a couple of days now that they didn't hear each other and that was certainly not something to be discussed on the phone, so he would have spoken to her as soon as he returned to America but for now everything seemed okay so far in the eyes of the man, who had the feeling of having a kind of honeymoon.  
He and Y/N were discovering themselves hour after hour, living a life of a new relationship all over again, which they had never had the chance to do before then.  
Y/L/N's grandparents were happy to keep the baby so they could go out as a normal couple, as much as possible. And it was a strange, fresh feeling, almost a memory of the past for Norman.  
Even with his former girlfriend he had been looking for a story like that but with her he didn't feel he had felt that carefree feeling, which he thought was lost forever.  
But no, he could still love without being forced to hide on an island; he could still be surprised by the dawn, making love in the car like two teenagers and he could wait for the first Cafés to open for breakfast. He could even walk around the inland markets, having fun buying the most outlandish and useless items or going around the artisan wineries to taste a myriad of wines.  
All this provided that the journalists did not intervene and the cell phones of the fans did not spy on them. But Y/N was pretty good at hiding and now Norman knew it well.

The lights went out, and so did the screams of the audience.

"Norman, I'll wait downstairs!"  
The bodyguard put his headset back on and walked away into the crowd.

"Come on... It's time to meet the band!", Norman said, grabbing Y/N by one hand and dragging her backstage.

"What? But I already know them...", she forced herself to say, throwing down the last sip of beer, before placing the glass on a table at random.

"Not backstage!"

"No... No, please Norman!"

Y/N struggled to keep up, Norman was practically running in the midst of all the experts, who crowded along the corridors and dodged to their passage, without having the courage to stop them.  
She must have been a bit tipsy and she certainly was, so she tried not to make a fool of herself in front of the complete band.

"So you are Y/N... What a pleasure! You made your boyfriend go on stage, didn't you?"

The man hugged her as if he had always known her and flooded her with sweat.  
Y/N tried not to look disgusted and instead pulled out one of her smiles.

"He has to be fit...", she answered laughing, hoping she hadn't been too rude.  
But Norman's relaxed laughter made her realize that everything was fine.

He stood there watching her as she discussed the concert with the band and realized that he was in a natural habitat. His house wasn't the set, it wasn't even the island or any studio...  
Y/N again greeted everyone warmly, feeling now part of that strange elite family and let herself be dragged backwards towards the exit.

"I'm drunk. They noticed it, didn't they?"

"They too are drunk!"  
Norman stopped abruptly, drawing her to him. He kissed her, not caring at all about those present.

"Norman, no!", Y/N scolded him, moving away embarrassed.

"Oh, stop it! Who the hell cares? But did you have fun?"

"Hell yes! We have to do it again! Too bad I waited so many years to see them live!"

Norman smiled. He had been going to those concerts for a lot of years and every time he still thought the same thing.

"So you're ready?"

Y/N nodded, before Norman opened the door and found himself in a dim hallway. They would not have passed among the people coming out of the theater, he was the king of secret passages now. He knew from experience, however, that once they got out, no one could protect them from the eyes of the people, at least until they got safely to the car.  
The man remembered the same situation well at a concert a few years earlier, when he and his former girlfriend had come out of hiding after months.  
Y/N squeezed his hand and followed him, wearing her own mask of sobriety.  
And here they are finally at the end of yet another deserted corridor, where the bodyguard and the driver were waiting for them with the engine running. They just had to hope that everyone was too busy waiting for their idols and not looking at them.  
But no.  
The first flash hit them, blinding them. Then a second one, a third...  
Y/N wanted to wear her now famous sunglasses. No, to be honest she wanted to wear an entire mask, which didn't make her so vulnerable.  
The screams of the crazy fans deafened them, until the door closed leaving them so exhausted behind the dark windows of the car.

"Norman, I'm sorry, we couldn't do better!"  
The bodyguard's voice was really dismayed, what had to be n easy walk had turned out to be a war path.

"Quiet...", Norman grunted almost to himself, raising the brim of his cap again and making sure that Y/N was still beside him.

"You will be on the web in just a few seconds.", the driver said, trying to ease the tension. Everyone in there knew that the photos of the fans were far more dangerous than those of journalists.

Norman sighed, looking out the window and then looking back at the face of his companion.  
Y/N was tense, she hated too much that kind of situation.

"But who cares? To hell with it!"

"To hell with it?"  
Y/N repeated those words with her own inflection, only to burst out laughing, followed closely by the other men.

Norman looked at them offended.  
"What's wrong? I said what I said!"

"You sound like my grandfather!", the bodyguard replied, imitating him without being able to stop laughing.

Norman struggled to continue, but was happy that the tension had died down and that everyone could laugh at what had just happened and threatened to ruin their evening.  
Suddenly he noticed the slight pressure on his shoulder.  
Y/N had already settled down beside him and was about to fall asleep, lulled by the movement of the machine.

"Hey no, you can't sleep!"  
He poked her, only getting a moan.  
"Don't sleep!"

"You'll be exhausted too, Norman!", the driver teased.

Norman raised both eyebrows with a smile and leaned back against the seat.  
What did it matter? He felt great, in love, satisfied, happy. It seemed like centuries since the last time he had found himself on the back of a car, with his girlfriend falling asleep on him. It may have been centuries indeed.  
He sighed, resting his head on that of Y/N and let himself be carried away by the sound of the music of the band still buzzing through his head.


	102. Chapter 97

"Mister Reedus!"

Norman mumbled something incomprehensible, changing his position. The times when he could fall asleep in a car, without being affected by the consequences, were over.

"Norman!"

This time he recognized the voice, whispering in his ear.  
A slight smile came to his lips, without him deciding to open his eyes. He didn't want to get up, he'd stay in that car all night, lulled by that noise like a child.

"Norman do you want to wake up? We don't have all night!"

This time it was the bodyguard, who with his proverbial delicacy was literally throwing him out of the car.

"Okay, okay..."  
He rubbed his eyes, cursing the light that lit up the cockpit.

"You can't even sleep in peace...", he said in a slightly hoarse voice, stretching and looking out the window.  
"But where the hell are we? It's not your house..."

"No. This is your surprise!"  
The woman's voice suddenly became more velvety and without even having time to turn in her direction, Norman found himself with a bandage over his eyes.

"No... You don't...", he protested, trying to take it off.

At that moment he heard the door open and he recognized the bodyguard's big hand taking his, dragging him out of the car.  
The fresh air of the night struck him making him resume slightly.

"Come on... Stop acting like that!"

"Tell the truth... This is a kidnapping. You will ask my family for ransom!"

"Oh shut up... Wait, there is a step!"

Norman stumbled and nearly found himself with his face on the ground.

"I still wonder how I managed to hire you!", he joked, pretending to be angry.

"Because you like to be treated badly...", his friend replied with his usual subtle irony.

Norman heard a key click and then what must have been a latch and a huge door that opened. He regretted not having studied the environment better, he had no idea where they were taking him.

"Now he's all yours, Y/N! Treat him well, you know I care about him too."

The man's grip loosened and Norman recognized the sound of his steps, moving away from that building.

"Good... Come on, trust me!"  
Y/N took both his hands, dragging him along what must have been a corridor.

"But can I know now where you brought me?"

There was not even a sound. They were alone in that cold and deserted place, which smelled like smoke and dust.

"Okay, stop here... Don't move, otherwise you'll fall!"

Norman swallowed feeling the anxiety grow. Never had such a thing happened to him, and if on one hand it was certainly an exciting situation, on the other he had not the slightest idea of what to expect and he had the secret fear that it was one of the usual absurd ideas of Y/N.  
Maybe she would put an elastic band on his ankles and she would push him from a skyscraper or maybe she would make him eat a pie of grasshoppers, just to make him try something new for her entertainment.

"Are you ready?"

"I don't know...", he answered, genuinely worried about what he would see.

"Yes, yes... You are ready."

Y/N took off the bandage, leaving him dismayed.  
It was pitch dark, he couldn't see anything at all, just as if the bandage had never been removed.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, wait... Give me your hand..."

Y/N took his hand, feeling for something that had to be on the wall. And then there's a strangely shaped lever. There was no need for her to tell him what he had to do, Norman lifted it with a decisive gesture and found himself in front of a beam of blinding light.  
His eyes needed a few moments to get used to that glow again, which was reflected on the red velvets and the elegant inlays on the walls.

"But... This..."

Y/N was right behind him, her hand resting on his waist with a huge smile on her face that Norman could feel even without seeing her.

"What does it look like to you? Yes... It's a theater! One of the oldest in France... It was one of my favorites when I was little and my family took me to see the shows when we went on vacation. I think I fell in love with acting here."

Norman looked around curiously.  
It was just one of those ancient theaters, one of the first that must have been built in the country. The dusty armchairs were arranged in a semicircle, like an ancient auditorium of a Greek theater. The balconies sprang out from the finely decorated walls. The red tent was closed on the stage illuminated by the floodlights, which must have been added recently.

"So what do you think? I know... It has been closed for the last twenty years..."

Y/N went down the stairs, letting her voice reverberate in that huge space with perfect acoustics.

"It's beautiful... I don't think I've ever entered such a theater..."

You could breathe in the history of the city and the actors who had been in all those scenes that ever happened there and Norman couldn't help but be fascinated by that dive into the past.

"But where are you going now?"

The woman stood in front of the stage as she climbed onto it with unexpected rapidity. Thanks to all the hours of training for the preparation of her films.  
The woman did not even answer and simply disappeared behind the curtain, to reopen it after a second, leaving him with his mouth open again.  
At the center of the stage was a huge carpet, with a cake full of candles and what looked like two bottles of champagne.  
Norman smiled without saying anything. He was excited, he didn't expect any of that.  
He went up to the stage, kissing her tenderly.

"It is absolutely perfect!"

"Come on, blow out the candles, before the whole theater is on fire!"

They both sat on the carpet and Norman looked at her for a moment before making up his mind.

"Come on."

"I'm thinking of a wish... I don't have many left!"

"Now we need a toast."

Norman started uncorking the bottle of champagne but Y/N stopped him.  
"No wait... The other one first!"

"Okay... If you prefer...", he replied a little surprised, preparing to uncork the second bottle and realizing that there was something strange about it.

"What kind of wine is that?"

He was a little disappointed with the modest sound of the cork and was about to pour the contents into the two crystal flutes.  
"What's in there?"

Y/N's sly and excited expression made him guess that it wasn't over with the surprises.  
He tried to extract what seemed to be hidden inside the bottle.

"And this?"

"Just look!"

"What should I see? I literally can't see anything."

"Maybe there is a message... You should break it!"

The man raised both eyebrows, surprised by the woman's advice.  
"Are you serious? You want me to break a bottle up here?"

"Well, maybe you're interested in the treasure map..."

That was too much. She knew very well that he would never resist curiosity.  
The sound of shattered glass made him get even more curious; he felt like a child on his tenth birthday and wondered why he had never thought of doing the same with Mingus.  
Finally he realized that there was indeed a white sheet wrapped tightly with a red ribbon. He was careful not to cut himself and removed any glass before loosening the tape with trepidation.  
He had no idea what it could contain, but it didn't matter now that he was savoring the happiness of discovery; that was already a gift for him.

"Okay. Let's see... Norman Mark Reedus - Owner of... Owner of what?"

Norman's blue eyes moved to Y/N's face, which raised an eyebrow, holding out the pen.

"But I... I didn't buy..."  
He looked around confused, still unable to understand what was happening.

"No. I bought it! It's my gift."

"You what?"  
He couldn't believe his ears. Y/N had bought him that theater.  
He looked back at her without being able to utter a word.

"I know it's not really what you expected. But I thought: What can I give to a man who already has everything? So I thought of this... Maybe you don't even want it. But you know, when you get to a certain age it's normal to dedicate yourself to more other interests..."

She was teasing him. Norman smiled back at her, approaching her on the carpet to kiss her, but she continued, looking around.  
"We will have to do some work if we want to come back before Christmas..."

"What are you talking about? Premieres or what?"

"Yes ... Maybe someone would like to organize a film exhibition... Or what about an unplugged concert?"

Norman looked up, bursting out laughing.  
"You've thought of everything..."

"Sure... There are no places like this anymore... You can promote your art in any form. We will have a huge sound system. We could host theater companies, concerts, exhibitions, charity evenings, even book presentations. You can organize any kind of event you want! It will be a new cultural center, a new way of doing it... The people will go crazy for this opportunity. It will be... It will be wonderful! And you only have to sign..."

Norman smiled at her studying the document, which would make him the sole owner of that precious project. He hesitated a moment, searching for Y/N's eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to take it away from her... It was her theater at the moment, the one in which she found the love for acting.

"And if I left it to you?"

"No, are you joking? I don't want a theater that falls into pieces!"

She was clearly joking, she loved the place, it almost felt like she was part of it like the armchairs and the lamps.

"It's your dream..."

"No... My dream is already sleeping in her bed... At least I hope she is looking forward to it! I've been thinking about it for a long time, Norman... This place can go back to be alive with you alone! Only you have this ability, this enthusiasm... The contacts, the ideas... I would have chosen you even if we hadn't come back together."

Norman looked back at the document and realized that it had been written the previous month. This meant that Y/N had bought it before and had already thought of him as the owner.

"For this you have to be you. You deserve it."

Norman took a deep breath and decided to sign.

"And now the cake!", Y/N said to play down that solemn moment.

Norman uncorked the champagne bottle, handing her a glass to toast.

"We'll have to find a name for it..."

"I think our daughter already has a couple in mind..."

"Then I'll have to nominate her for the artistic director!", Norman replied with a wink, while Y/N started eating a piece of cake.

He watched her as she put her hand to her mouth, licking the cream over her finger and realized that now he couldn't take her eyes off her. And the cake was the last thing he could think of.  
Their eyes anchored to each other and a nod was enough to decide.

"Here?", the woman asked, widening her Y/E/C eyes, incredulous and excited at the same time.

"So? Someone will have to inaugurate this stage..."


	103. Chapter 98

"How much is missing?"

"You've already asked so many times!", was the bodyguard's quick reply, who was trying to get in touch with the driver.

"Honey, calm down... Nothing will happen!"

Norman put his hand on her leg that had been moving incessantly for at least a couple of hours.

"Nothing...", she merely repeated with little conviction.

He was soon talking, with that relaxed smile in front of the screen of his laptop while their daughter was trying to sing in his arms the songs of her favorite cartoon.  
Norman realized that words would not be enough to calm her; he had seen her struggle with growing anxiety as the time of departure approached and now he could clearly see that Y/N was already breaking down.

"What are you worried about? You have nothing to do with all this."  
He tried to pull out his most encouraging tone but did not get any results.

"Yes of course... I have nothing to do with it..."  
Y/N hid her face in the palm of her hand, leaning with her elbow on the arm of the chair.

"What's weong? Does your head hurt?"

He saw her nod imperceptibly and turned down the computer's volume.

"You should try to get some sleep, you did nothing but complain tonight!"

"It's useless... I know you will make me pay, Norman... That woman hates me, she always did! And I would hate me too if I were you..."

The bodyguard rolled his eyes, clearing his throat slightly. He couldn't believe that Y/N was really that nervous because of the reaction of Norman's former girlfriend.  
Norman took all his patience and tried not to look brusque. He could understand why Y/N felt that way but he was the first to find himself much less nervous than he expected, perhaps because of his partner's reaction.

"Listen darling, look at me!"  
He forced her to raise her face again and noticed the heavy dark circles under her eyes.

"It was my choice! Mine! You didn't force me... We can't even blame our daughter this time! It's because I love you and only you!", he said smiling as the little girl searched for his hand.  
"She knows very well what binds us, she warned me so many times and already back then, when I didn't want to admit it even to myself. She's not stupid..."

"Exactly... She is not. She knows exactly how to get back what she believes is hers! She already did it in the past..."

"Hey, hey... Trust me this time... I think I deserve it!"

Y/N nodded, narrowing her eyes and the man continued.

"I know I wasn't the best partner in the world... I wasn't for her, nor for you! But those times have passed, I'm not that man anymore! I know what I want and I have no intention of lying! I want to live exactly like we did these days... And I need to live it with you!"

He took her face in his hands, forcing her to kiss him.  
It was incredible, the one that had proved to be the strongest woman he knew always ended up getting lost in those little insecurities and then it was up to him to get her out and show her things objectively.  
Sure, Y/N wasn't entirely wrong, he hadn't behaved well with that woman: He had left with an excuse and had avoided hearing her for a few days but now it would be time for a reckoning.  
He had no idea what he would find on his return to Los Angeles. Maybe she hadn't even come across those photos, maybe she would have preferred to ignore it, just like when he came back from the Bahamas with guilt painted on her face.  
In those few days in Paris, their bodyguard had worked hard to protect them from prying eyes to avoid gossip, but often Norman's new-found thoughtlessness made his life difficult, just like the night of the concert.  
But what was there to hide?  
Norman and Y/N were in Paris, okay. They had a daughter, it was normal for them to spend time together. Or at least that was what he had mentioned to the few shy fans, who had recognized them in a country village.  
They had avoided appearing in hotels, restaurants, shops... They had simply enjoyed those few days away from the chaos, which they already knew would have instead welcomed them on their return to the United States.  
And what did he expect from his former girlfriend?  
Probably nothing.  
She was not a woman who made real scenes, she was more a subtle challenge and Norman was pretty convinced that he would come out of it with at least one broken bone.  
But by now he had no intention of going back and his belief spurred him on, making him want everything to end quickly, to finally be able to start his life again where he left off a year earlier.


	104. Chapter 99

His daughter was close to his neck, hidden from the sight of the curious and the flashes of the photographers.   
Y/N walked just a few steps away from him, escorted by a couple of bodyguards. Danai who was more combative than ever; Norman was convinced she would bite someone if someone tried to get too close to her friend.

"Who the fuck called them?", the man roared even before he left the airport doors, where a car was ready with the engine running and a trusty and upset driver waiting.

"They got a tip from the Paris airport."

The manager greeted them in the car with a serious and professional face of someone who knew she had already jeopardized her job.

"Shit! Are you all okay?", Norman said out of breath as he removed a little hat from his daughter.

Y/N did not answer but instead concentrated on her little girl, who seemed a little confused by all this unexpected commotion.  
She seemed almost calm now that she was kissing the girl's forehead.  
Norman looked for her eyes and saw that she was hating him. She hated him for putting her in that position, for having decided to take her daughter in the middle of that crowd of people, discarding instead the idea of getting her out of a secondary entrance. She also hated him because she couldn't help but follow him in those first hard steps, which they had to do together again.

"It will get better... You'll see.", he whispered, arranging the little girl on the seat made to fit in the limousine with the tinted windows.

Y/N just nodded, though she wasn't sure he was right. With him it was all sensational, there was no real moment of respite.  
They could hear the shouting of journalists, who had already crowded outside of the car again and were trying to get some more pictures with their thousands of dollars cameras.  
The tension was exacerbated by the presence of the manager, who had immediately mobilized, as soon as she sensed what was about to fall on Norman.  
The fact that she had not been fired certainly did not mean that they had recovered a friendly relationship, but the fact remained that she was really good in her job and that the only way to have control over her was to keep it good now that the scandal of a few months before had made her much more docile.  
Surely Y/N would not have given her any kind of confidence, she still carried the deep wounds that this woman had inflicted on her, albeit indirectly. But she was the first to be tolerant, knowing the effect that a man like Norman could have on a woman.  
They wouldn't have become friends, no, but they would surely have endured and above all respected each other.

"Let me tell you Y/N, that of the concert was a bad move! I almost had a heart attack when I saw the photos!"

Danai was not someone who kept her opinions to herself and judging from her face, she must not have appreciated her friend's decision to get back into that which he called 'an unhealthy relationship'.

"I know, I know. Just don't start with that now! At the next turn left..."  
Y/N dismissed him, instead giving directions to the driver.

"Why to the left?"  
Norman wasn't sure he understood correctly.

"Yes. At my house..."

"What are you saying? You have nothing left there!"

The woman looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and compassion. How could she think she would really go to their house? His and his former girlfriend's?

"You can't be serious... You still need to talk to her. I can't... I won't do it, I won't face her. I can't."

"What do you mean? Will we continue to live apart and pass our daughter to each other in the spare time?"

Norman was shocked. Not that he hadn't thought of it but inside his head his house had always remained the home of Y/N and his daughter.  
He turned to the driver decisively.  
"Continue! Do Not stop!"

"No, drive left..."

Danai covered her face with one hand, barely suppressing a curse. They looked like two kindergarten kids, how could they argue about something so obvious?

"Don't convince me this time... Let's go home! We have to do it together, we agreed!"

The driver didn't know whether to laugh or get angry. Instead, he opted for a simple parking lot, studying the two faces in the rear-view mirror.

"So? Should we leave you alone for a few minutes?"

"No!"

That united response was, if nothing else, the first common idea they had.  
There was a moment of nervous silence on one side and an amused on the other. The driver and bodyguard were struggling to stay serious on the front seats, while the manager and Danai would have just wanted to take the heads of those two and slam them against each other with all the violence they were capable of.

"It was said that we would not be separated again, not even for this thing. I will talk to her but I want you to be there too. That is your home, we have lost enough time, don't you think?"

"Not this evening Norman... It would be too much for her and for me."

Norman swallowed, realizing that Y/N was right, but the idea of being away from them another night, away from her and his daughter made him feel terribly lost, especially now that he had rediscovered what he truly loved.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing.  
"Okay then... To the left, please..."  
  


  
  
"So, you're ready?"

The bodyguard was almost more agitated than him as they proceeded at a walking pace along the driveway of his house.  
Norman kept his eyes fixed on his fingers, drumming on his faded jeans.  
No, he wasn't ready. How could anyone be ready for such a moment?  
He would look like a worm, a man with no balls, no respect, no courage, and he was ready to hear every one of those words, even though he knew he had made the only possible decision.  
The car stopped in front of the already wide open door.  
Norman didn't even have time to get out when the woman appeared breathless, with one of her long white dresses and her hair untidy.  
She was carrying bags, probably the last of a long series of suitcases, which had already been loaded onto her '68 Mustang.  
She closed the door behind him, intercepting his shocked gaze for just a moment.

"Apparently I haven't had any luck!"

He heard her say as she threw her bags in the car.

"Just wait. We have to talk..."

"To talk? You think we have to talk?"

Two icy eyes pointed at him, piercing him like two enormous pins, making him regret having said those stupid words.

"I need to explain to you how things went... I don't-..."

"I know very well how things went... You left with your fucking Ex-Wife to go to Y/N. She helped you, your damn Ex-Wife helped you! You told me one lie after another, only to go back to that... That..."

"Stop it, please!"

"No. No Norman, no! You asked me not to listen to the gossip, you told me you had to spend time with your family and instead... You lied to me!"

"Hey, hey... No! I told you that I would spend a few days with my daughter and Y/N away from the confusion! I never lied to you about this... And if I'm not mistaken, we even had a fight before I left?"

Norman struggled to follow her in and out of the house, while she gathered up the last things.

"Y/N and I had to clarify many things... What happened between us..."

"Don't even mention it! I don't want to hear that name ever again! Oh, I knew you hadn't forgotten her... I knew you were macerating in love for only that woman... It's so typical of you! But I thought you were going to use some brains, at least this time!"

They were back in front of the woman's car. Now she would leave and Norman couldn't help but think that if he arrived only ten minutes later, he wouldn't find her there.  
He tried to use all the self-control he was capable of. The woman was upset and he couldn't blame her for that violent reaction.

"Please come back and talk calmly... I don't want it to end this way!"

"And how do you want it to end, let's hear it? Do you want a big good luck quote from me to you? I've never met a person like you Norman, so naive, so out of the world! Did you really think you would get away with it? That I wouldn't have noticed anything?"

"What are you saying? I would have talked to you about my return... Would you have preferred a phone call?"

"I would have preferred not to have your picture taken next to her! Do you realize what will come out of it? Look... Look at your fans, your friends... You really don't think anyone talks about you two? They couldn't wait for me to get out of the way... I wouldn't be surprised if it was just your fucking publicity stunt to promote some bullshit! I feel like throwing up just thinking about it!"

She spat those words out as if she were vomiting them and Norman felt slightly offended by the contempt he read clearly in her eyes.

"A what?"

It was so absurd that she thought of a hype at the time.  
The woman didn't even answer but slipped into the car, pulling her skirt aside and showing off her stunning legs. And Norman knew she was doing it on purpose.

"Okay, then don't tell me... But it doesn't end this way. I need to explain myself..."

"And I need you to disappear from planet earth, do you think you can do it?", she said, started the engine and began to back down, forcing him to move to avoid being run over.  
"You will pay me... You know that, right?"

Her voice was lost in the roar of the engine and the screech of tires on the gravel.  
Norman stood in the driveway, watching her drive away. Who knows, maybe that was his destiny? Perhaps he would always find himself in those alleys and when he couldn't move.  
This was not how he had imagined their confrontation: Maybe screams, insults, tears but at least a minimum of dialogue.

"She wants revenge, right?"  
The bodyguard's voice made him suddenly resume, he could still hear the woman's last words echoing in his mind.

Even Y/N had said the same on the plane: That woman would have taken her revenge.


	105. Chapter 100

Y/N turned over on the couch and nearly fell to the ground, awakening abruptly.

"Fuck!"

All the sheets of the script had just fallen to the ground and now lay scattered on the reclaimed carpet in the living room. Why did she always have to be so clumsy?  
She sat up, still dazed and tried to pick them up without a specific order.  
She must have fallen asleep. Again.   
She had been trying to study those pages for days now, but no matter how hard she tried, it seemed that it didn't want to get into her head.  
She definitely needed a coffee.   
So she got up from the couch, dropping the sheets again but this time she decided to leave them where they were, instead of going like a zombie towards the kitchen.  
There was nothing to be done, those days of transition between the end of a project and the beginning of the new shots had worn her out.  
She couldn't stay home without working. She had never been a good person to relax and, apart from the year of forced rest, she could not conceive the idea of remaining idle without getting depressed.  
Once in the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator and immediately closed it: The dinner that was prepared for that evening was there in front of her and screamed at her to devour it, while she wouldn't even touch it, sticking to the strict diet required by the new character.  
She sadly prepared her coffee, wondering once again why she made that risky choice.  
It was perhaps one of the most difficult characters to whom she had approached, for this she was devoting herself day and night. Yet she still felt far from having the essence of that unfortunate woman in her head.  
She brought the steaming cup to her mouth, moving it away immediately as soon as the aroma of the coffee hit her. She must have had too many in those days.  
The sudden sound of the car in the driveway told her that Norman had to be back. He too was still busy with his last job and spent all his days on set.  
Y/N looked out the window, trying to figure out why it took Norman and the bodyguard so long to get into the house. A glance was enough to make her catapult out the door.

"What the hell happened? What did you do?"

Norman gritted his teeth to resist the pain, while the bodyguard supported him, holding him tightly around his waist.

"Nothing... It is nothing!"

"This doesn't look like nothing."

Y/N tried to meet his gaze, which remained low and suffering.  
"A small set accident... Things that happen!"  
Surely his voice didn't sound as joking as his words.

"Let's say he had a close encounter with some explosives."  
The bodyguard's words drew the woman's attention, who looked up at him in shock.

"What? Explosives? But where was the stunt men?"

The man looked at her eloquently. As usual, Norman wanted to do his own thing.

"Fuck Norman, when are you going to stop doing everything? Haven't you already risked enough?"

"Come on... It's just a couple of scratches..."

"Yes, a couple of scratches... Sure..."

"Oh thank you..."

Norman tried to smile, holding back a moan and also clung to Y/N, who now supported him on the other side. He gritted his teeth and cursed the day he decided to have those steps built in front of the front door.  
He limped to the couch, finally sitting down with a groan.

"And what have you done to yourself?"

"Nothing, what do you want it to be?", the bodyguard intervened, kneeling in front of Norman.

"Shut up and move!"

The friend took him, leaning his head back and clinging to the arm of the couch. The bodyguard was preparing to take his boot off his swollen foot.

"Oh shit, look at this! How did you do that? Did you not go to a doctor?"

"Yes, yes... I just have to put ice on ist and rest, tomorrow I'll go again, but there should be nothing broken..."

"It went well. You should have seen it, he practically flew away!"

Norman gave his friend a reproachful look. He certainly wasn't helping him like that.  
Y/N started to help him but he stopped her, stifling a cry of pain.

"What is it now?", the woman asked, startled by the reaction. She had never seen Norman suffer so much like that and the fact that he tried not to be seen weak in front of her, made her feel even worse.

"The arm...", he managed to answer as he brought his hand to his left arm.

"The arm?"

The bodyguard decided to intervene, helping him to remove the sleeve of the leather jacket.

"Oh yes... They had to give him some stitches... There was glass everywhere."

"Oh, perfect! I can not believe it! Do you think you are still twenty years old?"  
Now Y/N was angry, as she looked at the torn and bloodstained shirt and the big bandage under it.

"Y/N, please... It shouldn't have went like this."  
A grimace forced him to stop and Y/N became even more infuriated.

"Yes of course... Like when you ended up under the hooves of that horse?"

"In fact nothing serious happened even then..."

The woman opened her eyes wide, resisting the instinct to hit him and hurt him even more.

"They don't pay you to hurt yourself! Look at this... And even these scratches, you should see how your face is looking right now... I'm going to get you some ice."

Norman sighed, abandoning his head against the pillows again.

"Well come on, I thought it would end up even worse!", the bodyguard told him, smiling.

"It's just because you haven't left us alone yet. You'll soon  
hear..."  
After all, Norman knew Y/N was right, but he was stronger than the pain. He loved that part of his work, it was fun and he knew better than anyone that those problems were also part of the game.

"Here... Lie down!"  
The woman returned with the ice and helped him lie down on the couch, lifting his foot with a pillow.

"Okay, so I'll go... I will pick you up tomorrow morning to go to the clinic, okay?"

"Thanks man!"  
Norman greeted him with a nod, then returned to cover his eyes with his healthy arm.  
"Please Y/N, don't start with your lecture... You're absolutely right. I know I know..."

Norman took his arm and looked at her with more understanding. He would have reacted much worse if it was her.  
"It really was a simple scene, I don't know how it could have happened... I just hope it was good!"

Y/N fell silent, hoping that he didn't really mean it but her actress instinct forced her to stay. She too had done a lot of nonsense for a good scene.

"And now... How long will you have to sit still?"

"That depends on this damn foot! I just hope it's not broken...", Norman sighed, bringing a hand to his ribs: He must have hurt even a few ribs in the fall.

"Our daughter?", he asked, relaxing as Y/N blew on the newly treated wound.

"The Nanny took her to the park... I just can't study with her pulling on my hair and insisting on dancing."

"How does your work proceed?"

"It's a disaster... I don't even remember some lines... I didn't lose a pound and I didn't want to go to Nevada! Now that you have to stop shooting, how will we take care of everything when I have to leave?"

"Does it matter? It will be only for a few weeks... After all it's just a few stitches! And then now that I'm home, I can help you with the script..."

Y/N smiled, brushing his lips with a kiss.  
"You know I hate it... I would rather try to learn the nurse part."

"I'm sure you'll be fine!", Norman replied, drawing her to him, before suffocating into yet another complaint.


	106. Chapter 101

Y/N recognized the unmistakable sound of Norman's voice and hurried to hide everything in the refrigerator. She sat back down on the kitchen stool and put on a concentrated expression, pretending to scroll through the lines of the script.

"Hey, what are you doing up at this time?", she asked as soon as she saw him coming out of the door.

Norman looked horrible in that shirt with holes in it and the sweatpants. It was a few days now that he was at home and certainly his recovery was making him look lazy as hell.

"I need a painkiller. These ribs are driving me crazy, I can't even lie down!"

"Wait, I'll prepare it!"

Y/N stood up and Norman approached the kitchen counter, on which a hundred or more sheets of the script were scattered. He spent a few moments reading carefully, before raising a frown to look at the woman.

"Not so fast... Do you think I'm here to give you alms?"

Y/N smiled, still counting the drops, which fell slowly into the glass.

"No, forget it... You know I can't learn it with you!"

Norman pretended not to notice, correcting it with a somewhat pedantic voice.

"No, look, this wasn't your joke!"

"I told you no..."

Her tone did not allow replies or even the expression she gave him when she turned around and handed him the glass.

"Why not? I could help you with it... At least with the jokes that are in here. We could also try all night, like that time at the hotel..."

"You don't need to, really. It's just that I can't concentrate... Who knows where my head is these days?"

Yet Norman had the feeling he knew exactly where his partner's mind was.  
"Okay, I don't insist... But... Are you really sure you want to do it?"

"What, the movie? Sure, why?"

"But, don't you think-..."  
Norman hastened to answer, concentrating again on the pages.

He wasn't really that happy to know there would be a scene in it where she was naked and vulnerable in front of the camera again, but he would have kept it to himself.

"I'm just saying it's a risky part... For a woman I mean..."

Y/N raised on him that look full of challenge, which she always had when she felt threatened at work.  
"You're talking about the fact that I am a woman exploited because of the gossip magazines, aren't you? Don't you think it's time for someone to denounce this kind of abuse?"

"Sure... But..."

Y/N didn't even let him continue. She knew exactly what he would say: It was right to denounce the ugliness of the world, but why did she always have to do it?

"Everywhere you go and work there are episodes of violence... Or maybe you just think I'm not fit enough?"

Norman was forced to back down.  
"No. I am absolutely convinced that you are able... I am only afraid that after your last film this is too demanding... It is physically and psychologically hard as a role and will be seen as a provocation. You could receive tons of criticism... I just think it's all too much, you should get some fresh air every now and then!"

"Air? I'm getting the air now and see how I got reduced! It's been years since I've heard you say that sooner or later you'll retire and yet you are still here that you even blow yourself up!"

Norman smiled at those words.  
Y/N was right, it was hard to stop doing that job, as frustrating and terribly intrusive, her life was that now.  
  
"Who tells you I don't want to stop? I believe I have already made my contribution to the cause..."

Y/N looked at him skeptically.  
"Yes of course... And how long would you say, before accepting a cameo in a movie where, I don't know, where maybe Jeffrey is in it, and he wants you to be in it too?"

Norman raised an eyebrow, as if he had just been read. He was tired, he was tired of the early risers, of the promotion, of the long hours of make-up and hairstyles for a half scene and of the continuous changes required to his now no longer young body.

"You would be surprised by the amount of things I can do..."

Y/N smiled slightly. Why did he continue to claim that it was a job like any other? No, they weren't like the others, they never would have been.

"Okay, Norman. But you should know that we can choose what we want to do, we can choose to use our work for something better... To carry on with what we believe in! How many people can say they are so lucky? And probably the world hasn't had enough Norman Reedus aka Daryl Dixon yet."

Norman burst out laughing at the exclamation.  
"Oh yes, sure! And don't you think they had enough of your face, Y/L/N? You can't do a photoshoot and four films a year, promote them, do charity events, take care of a little girl and stay with me too! Well, truth is, I haven't had enough Y/L/N yet, that's for sure!"

"Stop that! You won't make me feel guilty! This film will be a great opportunity, you'll see! I will do my best and I hope to be good as much as possible with anyone... We'll talk about it at least! Come on, trust me! And then what should I do, in your opinion? Accept the role of some superhero's girlfriend and put on those ridiculous tight clothing?"

Norman answered her with a smirk. He trusted Y/N and her intuition but he couldn't think of her the same way. Y/N was an actress who, while working on a project, was already thinking about the next one and the one after that, preparing a lineup of her life, which would have made even the best actors go pale.

He threw down the painkiller with a single sip and opened into a grimace of disgust.  
"What kind of crap do they put in there? I absolutely have to drink something... Please tell me we have orange juice..."

"No.", Y/N protested as soon as she saw him approach the refrigerator, but Normam opened it without paying any attention.

"What's this? But who... Who the hell put a packet of potato chips in here?", he said in surprise, pulling out the huge red packet.

"I don't know... Maybe Mingus?"

Y/N hoped with all her heart that Norman did not look at her and did not read the guilt painted on her face.  
"Yes of course... It's a pity Mingus is still in Paris with his mother! But look at this... And what about this stuff?"

He brought his face close to a plate, which contained something like a half-chewed sandwich and drew back at once.

"Salad, chicken, peppers? What the hell is in there?"

"Come on, stop it!"

She saw herself steal the plate from his hands and couldn't hold back a laugh as he saw that Y/N was throwing what was left of that crap into the dustbin.

"Of course you won't lose weight... You eat secretly!"

"I don't eat secretly!"  
She seemed almost offended.

"No? And all these crumbs on your script then?"  
Norman raised the papers, sliding them to the ground.  
"I don't understand, you go hungry all day and then you eat at three in the morning?"

"I know, I know... What should I tell you? I'm hungry... I'll get bored!"

"But eat something healthier then... And to be honest I think you shouldn't lose any more weight..."

"No? Try telling the director... I have to lose at least another three kilos before the beginning of the next week!"

"Then you'll probably disappear! But okay, so we can throw these away, I guess..."  
Norman pushed the packet right under her nose and Y/N tried not to grab it from his hands before he threw it away.

"Okay! I got it! I'm going to bed now, are you happy now?"

She picked up all the papers, being annoyed.

"And please, don't dream of flying sandwiches!", the man teased, seeing her disappear upstairs.

Norman remained alone in the kitchen, trying not to laugh because of his hurting ribs.   
He looked down again at the chips he was about to throw away and stared at them with an absorbed expression. After all he didn't have to lose weight...  
He sank his hand into the bag and started eating them without feeling guilty, at least once. 


	107. Chapter 102

"Y/N..."

It was just a whisper in her ears. Norman was right there beside her, with his unmistakable scent of tobacco, as he fiddled with his fingers in her hair.

"Yeah?"  
It was the only answer he could give him.

"Y/N, honey... Wake up... It's almost five in the afternoon, you have to get ready..."

"Sure..."

Norman smiled: He knew exactly how to make her wake up.  
He approached her with his lips, and then slowly descended the line of her neck, squeezing it slightly towards him.

"No..."

Suddenly the woman's sighs of pleasure turned into a grimace of pain, which forced him to retreat.

"What is it?"

"You hurt me..."  
Y/N sat up, now completely awake.

Norman saw her adjust her wide white shirt, the one he loved because it was practically transparent.

"But why? I only touched you?"

Y/N didn't answer but looked at her watch.  
"I still have two hours... You could have let me sleep a little more."

"Yes of course... Honey, it's an important evening, you can't be late!"

Y/N returned to sink into the pillows, ignoring him.  
She had no desire to attend that gala evening, especially she didn't want to go on stage and talk in front of all those people. But it was part of the commitment, the one she had taken. It was a small contribution to society and she couldn't be missing just because of laziness.

"Are you sure you don't want us to come too?", Norman asked, returning to disturb her sleep.

"Yes... She would get bored and so would you. And you should put on your tuxedo and I know you don't want to."  
Her voice, still a little hoarse and sleepy, was almost incomprehensible.

"Well then? Do you want me not to have a tuxedo?"

"Come on... I bet you don't even got one here!"

"Of course I have."

Y/N turned around with a sigh. She understood, she would no longer sleep.  
She snorted pulling back her thick hair. Norman would never give up on that point.

"Forget it... There they want serious people, with a serious dress code..."

"Serious penguins, you mean...", he replied, slightly disappointed.

Y/N would be the godmother of the evening, she would work, present the guests and reward them. If she goes, Norman would have been her companion and he probably would have been bored to death, not to mention their daughter, who would have been without a babysitter that night.

"Mommy?"  
Just then the little girl made her entrance, with her dress and that smile, which would have made anyone crazy.

"Oh, look who's here? Come herr love..."

The little girl ran to her parents' bed, in that awkward and funny way of hers, and had her father pick her up, all happy and satisfied for the treasure she had found and was now holding out to her mother.

"And this?"

"Yours!"

"Mine? A gift for me?"

Y/N looked at her surprised and a little curious. She tried to take the small white parcel, which his daughter had already thought to put in her mouth, judging by the slightly ruined and damp corner of saliva.  
Norman didn't look so happy, when he snatched it from her hand.

"Sweetie, where did you get this?"

The little girl looked at him with her little angel face, knowing that she had done something wrong.

"Did you get it from Dad's jacket?"

"Come on Norman... Nothing happened! What do you want it to be? It's a gift..."  
Y/N couldn't resist, seeing the slight flicker of her daughter's chin in front of her father's severe tone.

"So teaching her that she can steal from the jackets of others is good? Congratulations!"

"Oh, look at that grumpy Daddy!", Y/N smiled and picked up the little girl. "So? What's this? What could it be?", the woman asked, rather suspiciously.

Norman loved giving gifts, but without running the risk of being discovered by a girl of not even twenty months.  
The man remained silent for a few moments, observing the package and evaluating what to do. It was certainly not the right time, but now his daughter had unmasked him and he already saw that Y/N was beginning to change her expression. She probably thought it was a gift for another woman.  
For a moment he thought of saying that it was for his Ex-Wife, but then he would have to reveal the contents and he didn't have enough good ideas at the time.

"Okay... It's for you! Sooner or later I would have given it to you..."  
He handed it to her a little reluctantly.

"But it's not my birthday yet! There are at least ten days left, you know it brings bad luck!"

"I know... Let's say it's also for me then..."

"Wasn't the theater enough for you?", Y/N said with a smile, as she studied the shape of the thin and rectangular parcel. "Don't tell me it's another gem! You know I don't need it."

"Not really...", Norman answered embarrassed, finding himself strangely tense. He was afraid of the woman's reaction.

"Come on darling, help me to open it?"

Their daughter didn't have to repeat it twice and started to tear the paper with little shouts of joy.

"What is it?"  
Y/N took the small box in her hands, struggling to read it.

Suddenly Norman saw her smiling expression change and realized as expected, that it was not a very smart move.  
Y/N raised a serious and questioning look on him, before returning to look at the little box, unable to believe her own eyes.  
She looked back at him again, this time shocked and a little annoyed.

"But this is... This is a... But what does it mean?"

She was not yet convinced that she had understood correctly. Perhaps she had only misunderstood, perhaps she had become blind all at once.  
Norman tried to smile, while his partner tried to block her daughter's small hands, who wanted to steal the precious gift.

"Well... What does it look like to you? I think it's time to do it, right?"

Y/N quickly got out of bed, taking the pregnancy test with her.  
"What are you talking about? Do you want another child? I'm in the middle of filming and we've just signed with for September... You couldn't have found a worse moment Norman, really!"

The man sat on the bed, following her with a confused and slightly amused look.  
Y/N went into the bathroom, loosening her hair to tie it back, before turning on the water.  
"And our daughter is still so small! We should wait at least a couple of years!"

Norman got up from the bed, leaving the child to play with the colored paper and headed back to the bathroom, where the woman kept talking.

"I'm not saying I don't want any more... I'm just saying we've had so many problems and now I'd like to enjoy this time... And..."  
She looked up and recognized that sly expression on the man's face, who kept looking at her in silence.

"What's so funny?", she addressed him, slightly irritated. They were talking about something serious, he couldn't laugh like that.

Norman approached her, starting to unbutton her white shirt.  
"What are you doing? Our daughter is in the other room!"  
Y/N stopped him shocked. They certainly could not be seen by their daughter in certain attitudes.

Norman stopped, staring straight into her eyes with a look she didn't remember ever seeing.

"Okay... Then let's do this..."  
He took her by the shoulders and turned her towards the large bathroom mirror, staying behind her.  
"Now look at you!"

Y/N looked confused at the mirror, unable to detach the eyes from those of the man. For a moment she really thought that Norman had other intentions, but he seemed so peaceful and confident, as he held her in front of the mirror.

"What do you see?"

"What I see Norman? I see us."

"Yes... But look better..."  
So saying, Norman hold her with both hands, slightly pushing her shirt away.  
"Look at you... You can't even touch yourself, you sleep all the time... And you eat an embarrassing amount of crap..."

She finally understood where he wanted to go. Norman didn't want another child, he thought she was already pregnant.  
"But think about it... It's impossible!"  
Y/N quickly covered herself, moving away from the mirror.

Norman raised an eyebrow, as if pitying her for her childish way of not wanting to face things.  
"You thought with our daughter it was impossible too...", he reminded her, glancing at his daughter, who was still playing.

"This time it really is! We were careful... And then look at me, I don't feel sick... I'm fine! So Norman, I don't want to ruin everything, I know you want it. But just not now!"

"Okay... Do the test then! What does it cost you?"  
Norman leaned against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Now?"  
Y/N looked at him. She realized that she could not even undress in front of him, as if the man could see through her.

"Well we are here... Why not now?"

"Because it must be done in the morning and then I don't even need a delay..."

Norman shook his head, looking at his bare feet.  
"It doesn't have to be done in the morning... And if today was the 16th you might not be late..."

Y/N looked at the calendar on the shelf and realized that it was already the 28th.  
How had she not realized it? Perhaps she had really lost touch with her body.  
She glanced at herself in the mirror, hoping that Norman did not discover it and realized that there could indeed be a possibility.  
It was from their return from Paris that she felt exhausted, she never missed an opportunity to fall asleep anywhere, even ending up sleeping before her daughter, when she went up to put her to bed.  
She had blamed the change of time zone, the strict diet, the tight pace of the new shootings, but her body didn't lie or even that constant pain, which didn't even allow her to wear a bra anymore.  
She had pretended it was nothing, that's all. She had preferred to ignore those signs, which Norman had certainly not missed.

"Okay... But I don't want you to get hurt if it's negative!"

Norman smiled with satisfaction and kissed her on the forehead before returning to his daughter.  
"Now let's see if Mom gives you a little brother... Would you like a little brother, Sweetie?"

The little girl didn't seem interested in his words, she probably had no idea what a little brother was, but Norman was anxious and kept a look at the half-open bathroom door, waiting for the response.  
Not five minutes had passed, probably not even three had passed, when Y/N opened the door, with the white stick in one hand and the instruction sheet, which fluttered in the other.  
"Well, what did I tell you? It is negative!"

Norman burst out laughing, struggling to block her hand and grab the test.  
"Show me!", he repeated in a voice a little too high, so as to make their daughter curious.  
"Look here!"  
He showed her the unambiguous images of the instructions. It was pretty clear: what was negative and what was positive. And honestly it couldn't be more positive than that.

"What? No!"  
The woman sat on the bed again, no longer feeling her legs.

"Sweetie you will get a little brother!"  
Norman lay down on the bed and lifted the little girl up, making her laugh.

"Maybe... Maybe I should do another one. Just for safety..."  
Y/N's voice seemed a little hesitant and the man stopped cheering to go back to concentrating on her, who continued to talk.  
"They are not always so reliable..."

Norman recognized her frightened expression and approached her slowly.  
"Okay, tomorrow you'll do another one. If we will have another child it's a wonderful thing... You made me the happiest man on earth again!"

Y/N answered his smile, nodding and then hiding in his embrace.  
It took only a few moments for the man to realize that something was wrong. He forced her to raise her face and saw her tears.

"Hey what's wrong now? Aren't you happy? I know you wanted to wait but-..."

"No... That's not it!", Y/N stopped him immediately.

"I'm happy, believe me! I am really happy... But... We have just come out of this whole nightmare... You have just finished an important story..."

Norman tried not to smile. He should have expected it, that was his Y/N.  
"But which important story? I've just started an important story!"

Y/N didn't want to look him in the eye but it was so obvious what was going through her mind.

"It's because of that article, isn't it? That woman exaggerated, she shouldn't have talked about us like that..."

The words his former girlfriend had said down in America's best-selling magazine had been like gold for the public. Norman emerged as a weak and insecure old man and Y/N... Well she seemed to have just come from a French brothel.

"But can you blame her, Norman? Can you really say that you have a clear conscience?"

Norman felt struck by those words.  
They had avoided talking about it since the day the woman left, but his Ex remained a sort of ghost in their new life. And after weeks of silence, there was the move they were both waiting for.  
Y/N was torturing her hands now and on her face was painted all the anguish of that new revelation, which was about to upset her newly found tranquility.

"Hey! Do you think it would have been better to continue with that farce?"

Her saw her shake her head and had to resist the temptation to kiss the hint of pout painted on her lips.

"Is it... Is it true that she thought all the time that she was expecting a child too?"

The man closed his eyes and let out a slight annoyed grimace. He feared it would happen, he feared that his Ex would use that particular so private information against him. He didn't know what to say, he didn't even know what was on his mind then. He believed that by giving that woman a child everything would be settled between them, overshadowing his feelings for Y/N once and for all. But he knew better and he knew that he would be furious with her, if only he knew something like that.  
Y/N was about to get out of bed and Norman held her back, forcing her to sit down again.

"No! No... Everything was more complicated back then... You know too how many times I tried to put things right between us! Do you really think I wanted to create a family with another woman? Was that what you thought?"

Y/N returned to him with more resentment.  
"What if it happened? What if she got pregnant? Then you would have never come back... You would never have come to Paris..."

"No... I wouldn't have done it! And I would have lived a life that didn't belong to me, continuing to spy on your moves and burn with jealousy every time I would see you next to another man! I thought I lost you, do you understand? Can you imagine how frustrating it was to keep seeing you escape?"

Y/N seemed almost disappointed.  
"And you? Can you imagine how frustrating it was for me? How much it still is? I don't want our daughter to have to fight every day with the image that the world has of us. I don't want you to think I set you up, putting her in this world! I mean, don't you understand? They'll say it again... It's happening all over again..."

She wiped her tears with an angry gesture away and this time Norman didn't hold her back when she got up.  
He had the feeling that there was something else in those words. The problem did not seem to be his Ex and certainly it was not the public opinion too.  
He stood up, stopping right behind her.

"It won't happen again!", he whispered, brushing her cheek.

The Y/E/C eyes that turned towards him told him he was right: Y/N's fear was another.

"What would we do if it started all over again like at that time? If we go away and I lose my head again... What if I lose that baby too?"

"But no! No... It won't happen, we know what to do now. We will not allow depression to ruin everything again. And now your headaches are under control... You passed it, you've worked so hard! You're doing great and this pregnancy won't be at risk, you'll see! I will stand by your side from the beginning and we will no longer make trips of any kind..."

Norman just wanted to get into that head and take away all those terrible ideas that had thrown her into some sort of endless nightmare.

"But how, Norman? How will we do it? I'm working in another state for now... We just started shooting in the middle of the desert! And there will be the Festival at the end of August, I can't miss it! Not to mention the movie with premiere. It can't happen now... It can't start again like this... It's a disaster, Norman... A disaster!"

"A disaster? Nothing bad will start again! Do you have any idea how far we've come to get here? Do you think I learned nothing? We'll make it... I'll finish shooting in a week and then I won't work until September. We'll see how it goes day by day, okay? If necessary we will postpone everything... I'll take you to Italy, to Las Vegas... Wherever you want to be. But the important thing now is that you only think of yourself! Everything will be different this time, I promise you! We wanted our daughter and we want this baby too..."

Y/N nodded, sniffling and following Norman's gaze on her belly. Her daughter approached to console her with her plump little hands and the woman couldn't hold back a smile.

"Come on now, you need to get ready. If you'll be late it's just my fault!", Norman encouraged her to recover and go back to the bathroom.

"Are you still sure you don't want me with you tonight? I would be a good man to be by your side, you know?", he told her more gently with a smirk painted on his face.

Y/N shook her head and walked towards the shower.  
She had no desire to go now, she wanted to stay there with them, she wanted to slip under the covers again to metabolize that shocking news... And maybe send Norman to get three or four more tests.  
And the man waited for her to disappear behind the door and returned to concentrating on the child, starting to tickle her on the tummy.

"A little brother for you..."


	108. Chapter 103

Y/N looked at the precious watch on her colleague's wrist, an obvious gift from the company, for which they were presenting one of the most difficult evenings of her life.  
It was certainly not the first time she did it, since ten years now she was attending the charity events around the world, but perhaps for the first time, she couldn't wait to get home. The blue dress was too long, her feet screamed walking in High Heels and she infinitely hated that jazz group, which had been playing for at least ten minutes without any break.  
She just wanted to sit in a corner without having to think about the next time and the fact that she would go on stage.  
She hoped that Johnny, who presented the evening with her, would help her with some of his brilliant jokes, but she knew all too well that she would have struggled to appear calm.  
More than ten years had passed, yet Winona remained one of the most beautiful and elegant women Y/N had ever seen.  
She did not remember her from the time of her old movies and honestly she had never been very interested in her and her private life. Then Johnny had appeared in her life as a friend and, despite the fact that the story now belonged to the past, Y/N had sensed that she must have been kinda happy to be there in a particular way. Perhaps because the companion always avoided talking about it and struggled to hide the nervousness when he heard the woman's name mentioned.  
Yet that presence seemed light years away from their lives, at least until that particular evening, when the actress would be present alongside her boyfriend, the famous fashion designer.  
Now they were there, one in front of the other, and Y/N couldn't help thinking that that woman, apparently fragile and petite, had been the great love of the man beside her.

All of a sudden she instinctively brought a hand to her flat stomach; she couldn't believe that it was really happening, again.  
Every minute that passed she realized how much that possibility made her happy. Y/N wanted another child and above all she wanted it from Norman. She knew that this time everything would be different, she was different: Now she felt strong and knew that she could count on the love of her partner. She was no longer frightened and alone, she was not terrified of not being able to be a good mother and above all she was aware of being already deeply in love with that creature.

The lights came on and the applause gave her the signal to get back on stage.  
The time had come, now Johnny would have made his presentation monologue and both would have welcomed her on stage to reward her along with her partner, for their commitment. Y/N would have congratulated and both would have kissed pretending nothing, as if they didn't even know each other.  
It was exactly for that reason that Y/N had not wanted Norman to accompany her, it would have been too embarrassing for everyone and she would have felt herself die at the thought of seeing them together in the audience.  
She knew it was not a mature behavior on her part. There was no point in trying to keep away from all the people Norman was maybe jealous about. But there was something about those huge eyes that made her feel terribly ill. At least with his Ex-Wife she was aware of what they had lived through together, of their years of love... Most people, Jeffrey first of all, still joked that those two were made for each other and who knows, maybe if Norman had never left her and hadn't met his former girlfriend, everything would have gone otherwise.  
But this was just paranoia.  
She felt herself smile at the man. What was she afraid of? That if he had seen his Ex-girlfriend again, Norman would have lost his head again?  
That sounded so absurd, but he was also terribly human.


	109. Chapter 104

Norman stretched, yawning loudly and Y/N signaled him to be quiet.  
The image of his daughter was so tender in his eyes: He had decided to stay to read some stories to her and smiled, seeing Y/N's eyes give way to the sound of his voice, unlike his daughter, who had stayed awake like a cricket until that moment.  
He stood up with a grunt on which he sat and took the child from the woman's arms.

"Can we go to bed now?", he said to her in a whisper, to avoid waking her up.  
Y/N stood up and blocked him in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to bed!"

The woman tried not to laugh and showed her stern face.  
"Not with her. You know I don't want her to be in our bed with us!"

Norman rolled his eyes, like every time.  
"Come on... Just for this night. She had a nightmare... You don't want to leave her alone in here! And then soon she will wake up and not finding us she will shout again!"

Y/N snorted taking the initiative and taking the baby out of his arms, to lay her in the cot.

"No! Norman, no! We had decided... And if we ever really have another child what would we do? Having them all in bed with us? Forget it!"

Norman sighed and reluctantly surrendered to his partner's stiffness.  
He kissed the girl's forehead before he closed the door and went back to his room, knowing that their romantic moment had passed.  
He went to bed, watching Y/N trying to remove her make-up in front of the mirror.

"So how was the evening?"

Y/N took a deep sigh.  
"It went well I think! The bosses were happy, so I guess they won't fire me this time!"

She was digressing and was also playing it down, two things Norman knew were signs of an imminent problem.  
"You came back late..."

"Yes the evening ended at one and then we stayed for the photos and all those useless things..."

"Thank goodness I went home then...", he  
said, suppressing a slight moan as he rotated his neck still sore.

Y/N cleared her throat, moving with an unnatural slowness only to avoid going back to bed.  
"Well yes... It wasn't just what I didn't want."

Norman remained silent waiting for her to continue but this made her shake even more and when she started talking again, he realized that her voice was no longer so strong.

"Look... I think... I think I did a bad thing. Which may be not as bad as you think, but... It's ugly. Something I am a bit ashamed of now and I would like to tell you but I can't..."

Norman sat up, intrigued and visibly worried.  
"You know, just say it. What did you do that was so terrible?"

In his head was crowding a flood of possibilities, from the idea that she could have brought another man to the fact that she could have undressed in front of everyone. Nothing seemed likely and Y/N's expression did not promise anything good.  
The woman stood up, loosening her hair on her shoulders and pulling them away from her make-up remover. She sat down on the covers next to him.

"Okay. Okay now I'll say it. Yesterday I heard something from someone... I found out that your Ex maybe was among the guests..."

Norman remained silent to observe her, as if he could not completely understand her words and Y/N had the sensation of reading a thousand contrasting emotions, which followed one another on her dark face.

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'm srill not mature enough to handle that situation! But I thought it would be embarrassing... The truth is that I was afraid that seeing her again, who knows what could have happened! I know, I'm terrible... I shouldn't have... I had to give you the chance to choose, if things have to happen I'm no one to intrude between you..."

She spoke so fast that Norman didn't have the courage to stop her, but at those words his face opened in a loud laugh.

"What? Y/N this is the most enormous, absurd, gigantic bullshut I've ever heard in my life!"

Y/N, however, was not laughing, on the contrary, she felt even more stupid now that the reaction had taken the words out of her mouth.

Y/N when will you stop? Interfere in what? And do you really think I didn't know? It was enough to read the program of the evening... I bet you didn't even looked at it before tonight!"

He laughed again and Y/N signaled him to lower his voice.

"So did you know?"  
She was stunned.

"Of course! Her and someone else. But do you really think there would have been problems?"

Y/N said nothing, looking down at her crossed legs.

"How can you think there still is something? You know what she did!"

"Well..."

Norman pulled himself up again, approaching her slightly.  
"I don't talk about it because it's forgotten and over. Yes, she was important... I maybe loved her, I was convinced I wanted to spend my life with her, but we had a lot of problems because of me, so I avoid talking about it... I'm sorry I wasn't as close as I could have been. You and I are people who look ahead. I have never been a nostalgic, I am not one who lets himself be taken by regrets. She and I had our chance."

Y/N raised an eyebrow, still uncertain of the sincerity of those words.  
"Yes of course... But you continued to chase her for a lot of time, without ever finding the right moment. I still think she wants revenge."

Norman became slightly nervous and continued.  
"No, look, you've got the wrong idea! Those who have been chasing each other for quite some time have been you and me! She now lives in Los Angeles and not on the other side of the world! We would know very well how we could contact each other if we wanted to."

"Oh perfect...", Y/N exclaimed curling up with her legs against her chest.

"What, perfect? I'm just telling you that you don't need to worry!"

"Yeah... It's just... Maybe you're afraid to try, you're both adults and you don't have to answer anyone."

At those words the man stood up, getting on his knees and blocking his partner's hands, which were already gesturing like crazy.

"To nobody? And you? And our daughter? I'm not that kind of man, I was hoping you knew by now. I hoped I had at least a minimum of your confidence, after all we've been through!"

Norman was much more agitated than he wanted to show her.

"You did it... Of course you did!", Y/N justified herself, recognizing the change in his eyes.

"So why do we always have to keep making these speeches about all my exes?"

"Because she's still not an ex like any other..."

"And you are not a woman like any other. I was convinced that you knew..."

"Yes Norman, I know! I told you, it was my weakness, I'm sorry! It's that I can't compete with the ghosts of the past..."

Norman felt the slight crack in the woman's voice and was surprised.  
"What are you doing now, are you crying?"

"No...", she replied, before realizing that her emotion had just betrayed her.

The expression on Norman's face softened and he instinctively caressed her face, teasing her.  
"My usual 'Miss Insecurity'... Come here!"

Y/N gave him a half smile, letting herself be dragged on the bed next to him and huddling as always in the nest of his arms.  
Norman held her close, sighing and looking at the ceiling.

"You know, you're the second person who calls me that tonight... It's incredible!"  
Y/N's voice was only whisper.

"Oh yes?"

"I also met Jeffrey... He was among the guests of the evening! He thinks I didn't want to see him until the end!"

Norman frowned all of a sudden, but he continued to caress the skin of her shoulder.

"Jeffrey? Really?"

"Yes! He asked me about you, about the baby! I was really pleased to see him again, he hasn't changed at all!"

"Well that's true."  
The monotonous voice of the man showed how much he was annoyed by that almost casual revelation.

"Come on Norman, are you jealous now? He told me to talk to you about this, he knows how stupid I can be in certain situations!"

The woman approached, flattening herself against his body and put her arms around him.

"You see? I should have stayed there! He must feel stupid for being like a third wheel between our friendship. He didn't knew wheather to stay on my side or yours. We should tell him that it's all in the past now."

"We only talked for just five minutes. And then I was so agitated by the presence of your ex, that I couldn't even concentrate on the guests."

"Well then I wouldn't call you godmother anymore! You're fired!"

He gave her a kiss on the forehead, laughing with her, before turning off the light and going back to lying down, squeezing her in his arms.


	110. Chapter 105

The evening was finally over.  
Y/N wondered how all those guests could not be exhausted. She had swollen ankles and a hurting back, as she did the final honors and posed for the usual photos.  
She just hoped that the driver was already waiting for her to bring her back home.

"As always, impeccable..."

She immediately recognized that voice.  
Jeffrey approached with his usual expression between the amused and the arrogant, the one she had always loved.

"Jeffrey! Not home tonight?"

"Couldn't miss this!", he replied, hugging her with a sincere smile. "You were perfect."

"But I stuttered all the time!"

"No, not all... Just a couple of times. But these people never notice!"

"How are you?"

"As always the usual family man or the 'bad guy'.", the man joked, alluding to the fact that he had to play the role of Negan.

Y/N took a few steps away, letting the photographers continue the photos with the other guests.  
Jeffrey followed her, happy to finally have a chat with her after so many months.  
He hadn't changed at all and he always remained one of the most fascinating men.

He put his hands in his pockets, studying the woman's gestures.

"How about we sit down?"  
How he knew her... Y/N was very grateful for that care and sat on one of those benches with a futuristic design.  
"So, what's up? Of course you made everyone talk in the last year..."

The woman looked down slightly embarrassed.  
"It went down a little heavy... But yes, I didn't miss anything..."

"I'm happy to see you look and feel better! I thought of sending you flowers when you were in the clinic. I was worried, but then I thought you wouldn't like it!"

"Probably... Because I didn't like anything!"

Y/N crossed the man's eyes and felt at ease again, like when they met on the set back then. It seemed impossible that they had shared such a long time as a big family together, that they had filmed together for a long time and that he was still present in some of the most important moments of her life.

"And your child? How is ut now?"

"Oh well... Great! We had such a fear... But fortunately now it is great! It seems impossible but every day makes a lot of progress! Do you want to see it?"  
Y/N prepared to open the clutch to take out her mobile phone, before laughing with a smile.  
"How stupid... I've always hated this kind of crazy parent thing!"

"Don't... Your eyes shine when you talk about it!", the man reassured her, genuinely impressed by her change.

Y/N had never been a woman interested in that kind of thing: Family, motherhood, home. She was a lonely soul and a dreamer, who preferred to stay in her world on clouds, made of music and fantasy characters.

"And what about you?"

Jeffrey raised his face as if to meditate on the question.  
"Everything is fine! Apart from the reason that my wife missed you a lot."

Y/N made fun of him, recognizing that look.  
"Yeah... Because she realized that you can't do laundry."

They both laughed, knowing full well that it wasn't like that. They got up to take their leave with another hug and at that moment Y/N saw the thin and ethereal figure, which was moving towards the exit.

"Hey, are you okay?"  
Jeffrey realized the change in her expression and glanced over his shoulder, recognizing the actress.

"Yes... Yes, I'm fine! So I'll give you my new number... You can visit us if you like. I have some interesting projects in work, which we could discuss too."

Jeffrey pulled away from her embrace looking for her eyes.  
"Y/N? I will repeat it again... Is everything okay?"

The huge Y/E/C eyes wandered over the the man's jacket, to avoid his gaze.  
Jeffrey had known her for years, probably knew her better than anyone else, even Norman.

"No... I'm sorry... I'm just stupid...", she smiled, embarrassed, thinking how true those words were.

"Why? Because of her?"

Norman's former girlfriend had already left, probably.

"Yes. I started that stupid story with Norman back then... I shouldn't have, that's all!"

"Still the usual 'Miss Insecurity'! You will never change!"  
Jeffrey hugged her and Y/N felt even more stupid, if possible.

"What should I do? Everyone knows what's been between them... And I... I'll never learn anything from it!"

"Oh no. But at least now you admit it. Come on, now you will go home, you will take off your heels and you will wake your husband up to talk about it. You see that you are happy and he is too... And Norman must be a very special husband for having lit that light in your eyes!"

Y/N nodded, trying to hide the emotion at those words. Jeffrey had always been more sensitive around her. He had this sixth sense, which sometimes made him seem almost like a creature from another era.

"Thanks Jeffrey! But don't forget that he's not my husband yet...", she told him, smiling shyly, as she was already walking towards the theater exit.


	111. Chapter 106

Norman tried to focus on the clock. It was after four and Y/N had not yet returned.  
He stood up, ruffling his hair and refrained from cursing, when his bare feet hit the corner of the furniture.  
He went downstairs, rubbing his eyes and immediately noticed that the light in the saloon was on.  
Y/N's shoes were abandoned on the ground in front of the door, her purse was just a few steps away and her jacket as well.  
He found her on the sofa, immersed in a deep sleep, with the lightly smeared rimmel and the still perfect red lipstick.  
Norman smiled, kneeling beside her and gently stroking her cheek.  
That light touch was enough to make her shake before she woke up.

"Welcome back..."

"Oh, it's you...", she replied, still sleepy and looking confused.

"How about going to bed instead of sleeping on the couch?"

Y/N moaned like a child in the middle of a bad dream.  
"But the couch is comfortable...", she replied, settling herself better and closing her eyes again.

"Yes, it's comfortable... But you should sleep in a real bed now. Our bed is much more comfortable than the couch.", he whispered, approaching her again and kissing the tip of her nose.

"Okay... But will you take me there?"

"Are you kidding me? So we would fall down the stairs in less than a second? No darling come on, just a little effort and you can sleep."

Y/N snorted and forced herself to pull herself up with her eyes still half closed and the hair all unkempt on one side.  
Norman held out his hand to make her stand up and together they walked towards their room.

"It was all so tiring... Well, not tiring, it was a pain in the ass! I can't wear heels anymore. That's enough! My life on my heels is over... I'm too old for heels!"

"Yes sure... Of course you're too old...", the man repeated, laughing at her disconnected sentences.

She had to be really exhausted to start with one of those absurd rants.  
As soon as they arrived in their room, Y/N threw herself on the bed, without even taking off her dress.

"Hey what are you doing? You can't just sleep like that!"

"Watch me.", she said, falling back to sleep with a sigh.

Norman sat down next to her with his most patient expression.  
"Come on Y/N, at least you have to take off your dress..."

Y/N nodded without a sign of wanting to get up again.  
"Then you should take it off..."

Norman was speechless for a few seconds looking at her without realizing if she was meaning it seriously, but seeing no reaction, he decided to proceed, groping for the zip and starting to open it slowly.  
The fact that every inch of skin that turned out was troubling him, could be a problem since Y/N didn't seem willing to cooperate.  
Once the dress was unhooked it was time to take it off.  
He lifted it slowly, admiring her long, still tanned legs and then caressing her belly, in which their little secret was kept and growing. Finally he discovered her breasts, while Y/N decided to raise her arms to let the silk slip over her head.  
Norman saw the smile on her red lips and realized she was just playing. This made him even more excited and forced him to go down with his lips until he gently kissed her there.

As expected, Y/N shivered slightly from that contact.

"I'm sorry...", he sighed, knowing how sensitive she was.

"Don't be, just continue..."

That woman knew exactly how to make him turned on, even at that moment, while Norman felt her nails on his back and her breath on his neck.

"Mommy!"

Y/N stopped. Norman closed his eyes and pursed his lips, hoping he hadn't heard right.

"Mommy!"

"I can't believe it!", he finally said with resignation. There could be no more wrong time than that.

Y/N slipped out of his grasp, quickly slipping on a shirt and stood up, adjusting some pajama pants.

"Come on, I'll go...", Norman offered, seeing the woman's tiredness.

"I didn't know you were called 'Mommy' too!", Y/N smiled at him and started going toward their daughter's bedroom, which was waiting for her in the cot, with her arms raised, waiting to be picked up.  
"What's up Honey? Did you have a bad dream?"


	112. Chapter 107

With each step the music became clearer and clearer.  
Y/N slowly descended the stairs, trying not to make noise and avoided the daughter's games scattered here and there.  
She followed the notes of that song, which she knew well and that brought her back to her childhood.  
Now the words came loud and clear and each of them seemed to cling to her stomach, making her feel like an intruder.  
She took only a couple of steps, before stopping a few meters away from her partner, who had his back to him and hadn't noticed her presence.  
There was something so strong in that room, so sad, that Y/N had the instinct to go away for a moment, but not away from there, but away forever, away from her life, away from America. But that was her usual irrational and fragile part, the one that had made her escape too many times already.  
She waited for the last note to go out, leaving the room in an unreal silence and then she forced herself.  
Norman winced when he felt the touch of her hand on his shoulder.  
When he looked up at her, Y/N feared to see the tears and suffering of a single man in it.

"Hey...", he told her, pointing instead to an embarrassed smile.

"Already turning on music? It's just seven o'clock..."

"I could not sleep..."  
He remained with his eyes open in the darkness of the room and had continued to think and rethink their discussion.

Y/N looked up at a photo, there was no doubt that those two huge eyes belonged to his Ex.  
She sat down on a table full of stuff right behind Norman's back, while a new song was starting from the big stereo system. Y/N knew it would be easier to leave him alone with his memories.

"Do you want me to go?", she asked in a whisper, barely touching his shoulders.

"No, please stay!"  
The answer had been so quick, that she knew she had to listen to it. She could do it, she could deal with that situation with him.

So she took a deep breath and spoke.  
"I've always loved that song..."

Norman closed his eyes, smiling slightly.  
"Yeah... It was our song... You don't know for how many years I avoided listening to it!"

"You miss it?"

"No... Not her, the time has passed. I miss what we had... What I was... I dreamed... It was all so different, it was true I guess..."

Norman decided to turn around and stand right in front of Y/N, astride on the stool. Their faces were only a few centimeters away, their hands were now tied and the man's eyes preferred to wander over those hands rather than meet the woman's.  
At that moment Y/N had the feeling that everything could have happened: Maybe he would have told her that he absolutely had to try again with his Ex, maybe he would have left her like this, for the emotions awakened by a love song.  
He waited for her to speak with growing trepidation, not taking his eyes off Norman's nails.

"I would have done anything for her, I would have thrown myself under a running train just to protect her. Yes, I was already married and had other stories... But with that girl everything was different. I thought it could be forever... You know... I was going to marry her... But seriously, with a lot of gifts, guests... Then I ruined everything, again! And apparently I've continued to ruin everything for my whole life!"

Y/N squeezed his hand lightly and decided to answer.  
"You know... When I attacked those journalists, I didn't even think I would make things worse... I left and suffered, and you too suffered so much because of me. First the depression, then the anorexia... The person I would have protected from everything, I destroyed it by myself with my fucking behaviors. I never meant to fall in love with you... But Norman, we all make mistakes!"

"Yeah... Everybody... And I continued to make mistakes even later. With you... When I saw you destroy yourself with all those medicines and then shut yourself up again in the clinic, I thought so much about you... How I managed to make the same mistakes back then and make the people I care about suffer the most. Maybe that's why I was so mad, I didn't want to accept anything..."

Norman stopped and Y/N realized he was getting excited.  
He raised his face to look into her eyes.

"It's all different... It has nothing to do with what happened to me. You are a too sensitive man Norman, that woman knows it best of all that you would never have done anything to hurt her! This is why she has always spoken well of you, until I cam into your life..."

It hurt to say those words, now Norman had pulled out a too important part of his life and Y/N could no longer ignore it.  
She looked at him, trying to hide the growing anxiety, but the man did something completely unexpected.  
Norman untied his hand from Y/N's to place it on her belly, finally looking into her eyes.

"I already have everything I wished for."

The anxiety suddenly melted and Y/N had to try hard not to cry with relief, recognizing sincerity in the depth of his piercing blue eyes.

"I was hoping you would say that...", she finally murmured, lowering her eyes and putting her hand over the man's.

Norman continued and his voice caressed her like a glove.  
"I love you... I love you, I love our children... And I love everything you have been able to give me in these years."

"Our children?", Y/N repeated, smiling at him and kissing him back.

But Norman suddenly broke away.  
"Yes, our children, why?"

"Because I could not resist and I did the second test... Just a little while ago ..."

For a moment he was afraid that Y/N would tell him that it was just a false alarm and there was no child on the way.

"So..."  
The man was about to go mad.

She didn't seem to have the courage to speak, and Norman couldn't make out her expression as he saw her looking for the right words.  
But the words didn't arrive, all that came out was a shy smile, while Y/N nodded happily.

"Yes?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh goddamn it!"  
He was smiling with happiness. Now he no longer had to restrain himself, he could hold Y/N and he could hear her laughing at her own joy. They would have another child, a new little bundle bearing witness to their love, which they felt growing day by day.

"Yes, yes, yes! I can't believe it! Yes! Now we'll have to think of everything... First of all I'll find you a new doctor, I don't want any young doctor to make you go crazy with all those hormones."

Y/N laughed at that sentence, which brought them back to all the tragedies of the last period.

"And then we'll have to think of a name... Oh and this won't be a joke: We'll have to tell our little girl, do you think she'll understand?"

"Hey, hey... Calm down! It's still too early! For now we'll keep it for us... I don't want it to end like the last time..."

Y/N immediately admonished him for too much excitement, but Norman was just like that, he wasn't someone who could wait. He wanted to call his mother, his friends, everyone he knew... He wanted to start buying tiny clothes and build a light wooden cradle with his own hands.

"Not gonna happen! I promise you!"  
He kissed her again with more passion, until he heard her murmur against his lips.

"Don't promise!"

They parted suddenly when the notes from the music filled the room again. There could be no more wrong time.  
Luckily, Norman was the first to laugh and get up to change it. That would remain his and his Ex's song forever, but it would no longer be a song of nostalgia and pain.

"We don't even have a song... What a sad couple we are!", the woman commented, smiling and propping herself up with her arms on the stool, just left free by her partner.

At those words Norman stopped and started tinkering with the CDs, scattered untidily on his desk.

"How come?", ge finally said, pushing play and looking back at her with an almost eerie smile.

The unmistakable music invaded the small room and they both burst out laughing, thinking back to the scene of wild sex.

Norman approached, hinting at some ridiculous dance step.

"Please stop it!"  
Y/N couldn't help laughing.

"Why, am I not terribly sexy?"

It was too funny instead, squirming with that convinced look, inviting her to dance.  
Y/N stood up and decided to follow him in that crazy dance.

"You never dance!"

Norman followed her in a pirouette and then held her close again.

"I already said I do a few exceptions!", he answered, kissing her and well remembering the last time she had told him the same sentence.

"What do you say, wanna destroy this room too?", Norman finally said, mimicking the warm voice of the singer.  
He did not have to repeat it twice and Y/N let herself go with passion.


	113. Chapter 108

"I hate you!"

Norman had returned ten minutes ago and Y/N was already expressing all her disappointment. If you could speak of disappointment...

"Come on, drink some of this! It will do you good."  
He handed her the still warm tea, squeezing his eyes in anticipation of the answer he would receive.  
"Drink it..."

Y/N leaned against the marble of the windowsill, pulling herself to her feet.  
Norman got up from the edge of the tub he was sitting on and followed her toward the sink as she was preparing to clean her face.

"Do you want a couple of crackers and-...?"

"Do I look like someone who wants to eat?", the woman roared, without letting him finish the sentence.

Norman sighed, not knowing what to answer.  
He was tired, he could only imagine how Y/N was feeling, after weeks of incessant nausea.  
As the woman had said, when they found out about her pregnancy, she felt great, had no symptoms, at least not as she had when she was waiting for their daughter. But only a few days had passed since that evening and she had begun to accuse the well-known illnesses she was already used to. The difference was that this time they did not seem to fade with the passing of the day and certainly did not diminish with the intake of the medicines prescribed by the doctor.  
She had finished shooting the last scenes of the film and had made no effort to appear tired and emaciated, as requested by her character; however, she had made an incredible effort to appear on the set every day, risking to vomit on the shoes of the co-stars.  
And now she spent her days locked in that bathroom, without even being able to stay with her child, who probably didn't understand what her mother had.  
Y/N now returned to the bedroom and slipped under the covers.

"You'll see that it will soon be over... But you must try to force yourself! Do you want me to go get some ice? That usually helps you..."  
Norman stroked her hair, as he used to do when he tried to comfort her.

The truth was that there was nothing to do, they just had to wait for the months to pass and hope that with them the nausea would also go away.

"Oh Norman... How many times have I told you not to smoke inside..."

The man raised his hands, seeing her splash like a splinter out of the bed and return to the bathroom.

"Sorry...", he said regretfully.

Y/N could not even bear to approach him when she smelled the smoke; perhaps she hated even more the smell of his hands, which tasted of licorice, tobacco and a slight note of chocolate.

Suddenly a familiar voice came to him from the stairs.  
"Dad... Dad, look what she learned!"

"No Mingus, not now!"  
He spoke softly to him, nodding towards the bathroom door, from which he clearly felt that Y/N wasn't feeling very well.  
The boy looked at him mortified as he held his sister by the hand.

"Come on! Let's go back to grandma!"  
He accompanied her downstairs again, postponing his great discoveries to a later moment.

Norman decided to enter the bathroom and started brushing his teeth and hands, right in front of Y/N.  
He saw her sit on the floor, her head leaning against the wall and her face still red.

"Your son hates me!", she heard her murmur with a sigh as she brought her hand to her stomach.

Norman smiled at her with the toothbrush still in his mouth, softened and amused at the same time.

"Not even water... The water isn't good either!"  
Now the woman's voice was a little mournful, she knew very well that Norman didn't like the whims but couldn't help it. She was exhausted.  
The man approached her, holding out his hand to help her stand up again.

"Then we'll try something else, okay?"

Y/N nodded and let herself be hugged, realizing she was holding her breath for fear of smelling the smoke in his clothes and hair again.  
Norman held her lightly, then lowered his gaze to her body.

"Hey... Somebody starts to show up there!"  
He placed his hand on the slightly rounded belly, already visible under the wide shirt.

"Yeah, I don't eat anything and I keep getting fat... I told you he hates me!"

"But stop it, you're beautiful! You're even more beautiful!"

Y/N raised both eyebrows with a skeptical expression.  
"Yeah, no... In the past, you didn't see anything from our daughter until the fifth month, while this time I will have to dress up like a potato sack to the premiere!"

"But are you still sure you want to go? I don't think that's good, or do you want to find yourself throwing up on the guests again?"  
Norman had the uncomfortable impression of a deja vu.

"I know... But it is an important film!"

"Everytime it is important...", he answered, unable to hold back a slight pout.

"This is more important..."

Norman watched her as she cooled down for the umpteenth time and felt a little guilty towards her. It was true, Y/N had waited two years before finally being able to shoot that movie, the same for which they had quarreled at the Christmas dinner back then.  
Before she had decided to leave the project to move to Los Angeles with the child, then her health problems had kept her away from work for a long time, until she finally decided to fly back to chase her dream again.

"Okay... I know, Darling! We will do everything to get there, okay? Tomorrow we will go back to the Doctor and she will tell us what we can do. The important thing is that we can make you feel a little better."  
He looked for her Y/E/C eyes, knowing what would surely cheer her up.  
"What do you say I go to the bakery and buy you a nice box full of caramelized apples?"

Suddenly the expression of the woman became indecipherable.  
"Oh, Norman, no..."

Just a couple of seconds later and she was bent over in nausea.  
Norman moved to her defeated, before deciding to get closer to her, pulling her hair back.


	114. Chapter 109

"Okay Y/N, lay down please. From the last ultrasound we have identified the gestational chamber... Now we should start to hear the beats."

The female Doctor let out a little shrill laugh, inviting her to undress behind the screen, before lying down on the couch.  
She was a tiny blonde, in her sixties; a nice and easy-going woman who tended to get a little clumsy when Norman was around. But Y/N was fine with that, after the traumatic experience with her past, she decided to trust people again. And then she reminded her a little of her mother and that only increased her sympathy for her.  
Norman stood on the sidelines feeling slightly embarrassed, not so much because Y/N was undressing but because those surgeries and above all those beds, always managed to make him feel uncomfortable.  
Now things would have gone differently, he wanted to enjoy that moment desperately and wanted to enjoy it with Y/N together.

"Well, put yourself down... Okay... A little bit lower."

The Doctor arranged the patient, then put on her gloves and continued to talk in that slightly clumsy way.

"Now I will look for it and then we will do the ultrasound... The strong nausea could be caused by hormones but there are other important factors too. Stress, lack of rest and an unbalanced diet... Try to relax..."

"Oh there's no diet... I don't hold anything back!"

Norman tried not to look away, seeing Y/N stiffen at the woman's touch.

"In this case the advice is always the same. I can prescribe a stronger antiemetic, but I advise you not to abuse it. Now we will send the blood tests to the laboratory and we will see if a drip is needed... It knows, to replenish the salts and all the lost liquids ... In the worst case scenario, we will admit it for a couple of days..."

"A couple of days?"

Y/N had voiced the dismay of her partner, who merely shook her hand.

"But yes, just as a precaution... Anyway everything is fine here."  
The doctor took off her gloves with a fast gesture.  
"Because of the weight, here... That is the most controversial part. If you doesn't eat but you aren't losing weight either it can be caused by water retention... Unless there is an excess of amniotic fluid. In this case it is not a good thing at all..."

Norman looked for Y/N's gaze but saw her focused on all the movements of the doctor, who was fumbling with the ultrasound.

"Oh... I hate these things!", she said, beating the monitor, which didn't seem to want to light up.

"Maybe you have to push this?"  
Norman reached out, pressing the start button and magically the scanner gave the first signs of life.

"Oh, yes, thank you! Technology has never been easy to me... Where was I? Oh yes... The excess fluid could be a symptom of gestational diabetes... It is not so common, but it is enough to diagnose it and control it with a proper diet."

Y/N eyes widened in fear.  
The doctor focused the image on the screen in black and white. Clearly, Y/N and Norman couldn't really see anything.

"Here... This is his uterus... And this is the liquid..."  
The woman's eyes narrowed as she neared the monitor. She seemed to have forgotten about the patient and was talking to herself.  
"Now let's look at the heart... No... This can't-..."

"What?"  
Norman could no longer remain silent, seeing her so serious and focused.

"Is something wrong, doctor?"  
Y/N squeezed her companion's hand tightly, giving her an involuntarily worried look.

"No, it's just that you could-..."  
They saw her turn her head slightly and couldn't help but follow her.  
"Found it!"

Both were almost frightened by that exclamation of triumph.  
"What's wrong... What did you find?"

"Nothing, look here... Everything can be explained now: The nausea, the weight... Look!"  
She pointed with her finger to a darker point, in the middle of a whole gray background.

"One... And two!"

"Two?"  
Y/N repeated that number, as if she didn't fully understand its meaning. In reality she had already understood very well what the woman was trying to tell her, even if in her own way.  
She turned to Norman, who continued to stare at the screen as if hypnotized.

"Yes... Two twins! Then it is absolutely normal for Y/N to feel exhausted. Her body is working for three and even the hormones are double, especially in these early months. It's all normal, when you take care of fertility it often happens..."

"But we didn't do any treatment!"  
Norman seemed to have awakened, probably for that call to his manhood.

"Oh... Great! Very well!"  
The doctor looked at him admiringly.  
"Then it will surely be a case of heredity... Do you have other cases like this in the family?"

Y/N sat up and Norman helped her. She was still dazed but that woman's voice could really make her nervous.  
"No... I don't think so..."

The man smiled slightly, seeing his companion stumbling over words.  
Y/N felt her legs tremble as she tried to get dressed.  
When she reappeared, Norman was again right next to her, seeing her as pale as a ghost.

"You're not okay, are you?"

"No..."

"Oh no... You don't want to faint in here! Lie down..."

They helped her get back on the couch.  
"We can't wait for the results of the analysis and proceed with the drip! Wait for me, I'll call the nurse... Oh, and if she has to throw up, take this!"

The woman passed an empty basket to Norman, who watched her get out.  
He focused again on Y/N, who tried to take deep breaths.  
He smiled softly, brushing her hair from her sweaty forehead.

"Two..."  
She only succeeded in repeating the words, remaining with her eyes closed, until the doctor returned.

"Here we are... This will help you!"

Y/N narrowed her eyes, while her head still repeated that one word: Two.  
The doctor returned to her desk and started writing on some papers.

"Now I will prescribe supplements and we will try to prepare a special diet. Twin pregnancy is not exactly like the others. The body is subjected to greater stress and visits must be more frequent, especially to check weight and position. Even giving birth is usually very different... The twins are born a little earlier and it will be good to plan a caesarean for safety. If you have any doubts or questions, just ask... I am at your complete disposal!"

Norman swallowed, trying not to stare at that toothy smile.  
Of course they had a thousand doubts, they weren't even sure that they had absorbed the news.  
The doctor seemed to read his mind and stood up, approaching them.

"Don't worry... It takes at least forty-eight hours to metabolize such news. But then you will see that you will be happy and will face everything with positivity! I can see that you love each other, so you will have no problems."


	115. Chapter 110

Y/N watched Norman's movements with an increasingly worried expression.

"But are you sure you can?"

"I already told you, yes! Stop being so childish. Just undress now!"

The woman gave no sign of wanting to obey him and continued to stare at the syringe, as if terrified.

"Look, we're going to call Jeffrey and Hilarie. They're already on the plane."

Y/N didn't seem convinced yet but she resigned herself to push aside the white bathrobe, squeezing her eyes in anticipation of the sting. If it had been for her she would have also closed her ears, nose and mouth, so great was the fear for that enormous needle.

"You see? The important thing in injections is not so much the hand of the nurse but the point that is chosen, the relaxation of the patient, the surrounding environment..."

"Norman, can you please do it now? Otherwise I'll go!"

"Actually I am already done!", he said with a satisfied smile.

Y/N looked at him incredulously, before lowering her eyes to the now empty syringe.

"I told you I am a magician!"

"I didn't even notice... I swear!"

He saw her rub her buttock, as she began to feel the burning of the liquid. Norman put the syringe back in the package, wrapping it in the cotton ball and throwing it into the bin.  
"I know... I still hope I will never have to do it again!"

"Honestly, me too. But of course this city won't help me!"  
Y/N's voice came from the bathroom, where she was finishing up.  
It had been a fairly heavy journey, despite all the comforts of the private plane and the feelings not to vomit, which the Doctor had prescribed for her journey. But now they found themselves dealing with the other great obstacle of Venice where the premiere was: The canals.

Usually Y/N did not suffer from seasickness, but certainly it would not have been easy to be able to resist nausea on those damn boats in the middle of the lagoon.  
Norman glanced at his ready-made clothes on the bed in the luxurious hotel room. He had no desire to get dressed up for that day where he already knew, it would have been very long.

"So? How do I look? Is it okay?"

His thoughts were distracted by the voice of Y/N, who had just come out of the bathroom wearing a soft dress with a floral pattern. He studied her figure carefully from head to foot and did not even notice his smile, until Y/N addressed him irritated.

"What is there to laugh about? I look like a circus tent, don't I?"

Norman burst into laughter.  
"A circus tent?"

"I knew it. I assure you that it looked amazing when I saw it!"

Norman came over, delicately encircling her.  
"It's looks amazing on you too!"

Y/N moved away from him and looked down at her belly, forcing him to do the same.  
"Are you sure you don't see anything? I don't want anyone to talk about it... It's still too early!"

Y/N was terrified that the newspapers began to speculate about her pregnancy and discovered that she and Norman were expecting not one but two other children. She wanted to be sure first that everything was going the right way and above all, she didn't want to end up in the middle of the storm of news that was something different from her performance in the film at the moment.  
She just hoped she didn't feel bad in front of everyone, otherwise they would certainly start talking.

"No one will notice you will see... And I swear I will be a man of discretion!", Norman managed to smile at her and kissed her on the lips before returning to his own clothes.


	116. Chapter 111

"Where are you going?"

Norman held Y/N back, seeing her get up from her chair.

"I'll be back in a moment."

"What's going on? Do you feel bad?"  
He tried to see her face in the darkness of the room.

"No, it's all right... I'm only going out for a moment!", she whispered briskly, glancing up at the screen where the movie from the premiere was playing.

"I'm coming with you..."  
Norman made the act of getting up to follow her, but she pushed him away.

"No Norman, you'll stay!"

"But...", he tried to protest, without understanding what was happening.

"Just stay!", she repeated again, walking towards the exit of the overcrowded cinema.

Norman followed her with his eyes, until he saw her disappear behind the fire door.  


Y/N didn't even wait for the credits to start, when she got up feeling the urgent need to get out of that room. She almost felt herself suffocating in there.  
She immediately intercepted the figure of the bodyguard, who as always followed their every move and motioned him to stay where he was.  
The corridor light blinded Norman, stunning him even more.  
He tried to get used to the neon glow when he saw the unmistakable red flowers of Y/N's dress on his right. She was sitting on a couch half hidden from the rest of the hall. The gaze lost somewhere on the opposite wall and the absorbed expression of someone who was thousands of miles away.  
Norman approached cautiously, hoping that the music of the hall would continue indefinitely, thus blocking the exit of the spectators.  
It was Y/N who spoke, recognizing his presence without even looking up.

"You know... I almost never watch my films... I can't. I don't like myself... I find it ridiculous and vulgar. But I told myself that this time it was important, it was different, I had to be able to overcome it and instead..."

Norman felt an enormous effort to touch her and give voice to the myriad emotions, which he felt bubbling inside of himself.

"You were incredible."

"Then why is it still so bad? I tried, Norman... God knows how hard I tried! Butt I can't do it! I can't do it..."

Norman saw a tear, which shone on her still low face and sat down on the arm of the couch, right next to her.  
He understood very well what had happened, he understood why Y/N had left that way from the cinema, forcing him instead to stay. He had left him to look at what she had prevented him from seeing it months before, she had left him so he could look at her and her pain, for that loss she had never really accepted back then.  
Y/N had been incredibly courageous to stage that story, which touched her so closely. Not only had she paid tribute to her family, but in her character she had relived the same pain of that damn time a year earlier. And it was a pain so real and palpable, it could be read in the shaken faces and shining eyes of all the spectators, who were coming out at that moment.

"Y/N, your guilt is still too big... Let it go..."  
Norman whispered those words to her, holding her against him.

"How can I let go? All I do is think about it... I think about it day and night. I think about how it would have been if I... If only I had listened to you! If only I hadn't been so selfish!'

Norman squeezed her harder, rolling his eyes to hold back tears.  
"I think about it too. I don't get any peace for treating you like how I did... For letting you go. Who knows, maybe if I stayed at home with you back then things wouldn't have ended like that... Maybe he'd be here with us... But now we have another chance, can't you see it?"  
He pushed her away, taking her arms and looking at her eyes.  
"Everything will be fine this time. You know that, right?"

Y/N nodded, but inside herself she kept thinking that those two children weren't the same child she would never have known.

"Look at them Y/N, look at what you've done to these people! I don't think I've ever touched so many people in my life. You have a gift... And who knows, maybe if all this hadn't happened, now we wouldn't be here. I know, it's hard to believe that destiny exists and that things don't happen because of us... But who tells us it's not like that?"

Y/N couldn't say anything, instead she just looked for comfort in those blue eyes.  
She felt that the audience that was leaving the room was beginning to notice them and that rather unusual scene. She then moved away from the man, sniffling and showing an embarrassed smile.  
"God... I also ruined my make-up... And your jacket..."

Norman adjusted her slightly smudged makeup under her eyes, smiling back at her to encourage her.  
"So are you ready to throw yourself into the arena?", he asked, casting an amused look at the journalists, who were already crowded in front of the press room.

Y/N didn't answer but took a deep sigh, adjusting her dress before standing up.  
But Norman was faster than her and he held her back before she fell to the ground. He helped her sit down again, seeing her turn pale and hide her face in her hands.

"What's wrong? Does your head spin?"

"I'm afraid the effect of the injection is over.", she tried to tell him as she tried to focus on her own breath to keep from vomiting.

"Great... This couldn't have happened at a better time..."  
Norman looked around for their bodyguard and hoped that none of the present cameras would notice what was happening in that hidden corner. Finally he decided to dial the number of his friend, who answered him at the same time, when their eyes met at the two opposite ends of the hall.

The man joined them without attracting attention, looking around with the usual worried look.  
"What are you still doing out here?"

"Y/N does not feel good, can reach the rest of the cast as soon as possible?"

"What's going on?"

"No questions... Use your imagination!", the the man replied, supporting his companion and helping her to get up to accompany her to the bathroom. He knew all too well how that evening would end.

Their bodyguard watched the scene for a few seconds without moving a muscle. Suddenly his face lit up.  
"No! Again?"

He let the exclamation escape, while Norman and Y/N had already moved away towards the corridor, taking advantage of the moment of calm, now that the journalists were all inside the hall.


	117. Chapter 112

"Yes... Yes Hill, we will join you for dinner later..."

He immediately recognized the disgusted look that was painted on Y/N's face at the word dinner alone and apologized in silence, spreading his hands in an eloquent gesture.  
What could he do if Jeffrey and his wife could not wait to spend time with them, now that they were back for the promotion of the film?  
And then what better time to finally announce to their friends the good news?  
Notman had the feeling of having kept them away for too long and he could no longer pretend to be blind about it. It was two months now that they knew about the pregnancy and Y/N still insisted on keeping the secret even with her own family.  
He looked back out the window, trying to interrupt the call as soon as possible.

"I don't think it will take long... I'll call you as soon as we finish..."

The streets of New York were swarming with people; probably it was rush hour and everyone was leaving the offices, judging by their starched suits.

"Hey...", Y/N sighed, narrowing her eyes.

The driver caught her eye through the mirror and nodded like every time.  
"Okay... As soon as I can get close!"

The bodyguard turned to study the couple, he too was used to that refrain.  
Now they would look for a place that was possibly little frequented, in the hope that nobody would recognize them. They would sneak in like any group of hungry patrons, only to head to the bathroom, where she would get one of the usual injections of medicine. Finally they would wait patiently for Y/N to feel better.  
It was a process that was being repeated a little too often now, those two children were risking to blow up the entire timetable of a film promotion costing millions of dollars and above all they were giving a hard time not only to their parents, but also to the entire entourage, who had to do somersaults to make everything go smoothly.  
The bodyguard seemed to be the most worried; he who always had everything under control, now had not the faintest idea how to behave.   
Norman had insisted that he be the one to accompany them, despite the work by Y/N and now the man found himself for most of the time consuming coffee and water, waiting for that woman to come out of any bathroom.  
But what else could he do? He could only remain vigilant beside the entrance, while Notman was forced to remain ready behind the dark windows, to avoid being recognized.

"Please!"  
Y/N's voice was pleading to him to move, she didn't know how much more she could hold out.

Norman pushed her hair back, feeling tremendously helpless once again.  
"I... Yes... Hillary, could we hear from you in about ten minutes? No... Nothing... I'll explain later..."

"Turn off the air conditioning... It's better this way."  
The bodyguard took the situation in hand, lowering the windows and allowing late-afternoon air to enter the cockpit. It was a risk, he knew that well; if they recognized Norman or Y/N it would be the end of their whole day. They should have called the other bodyguards, who were already waiting for them in front of the theater and who knows, maybe even the police.  
The assistant once again studied the friend's suffering face and realized that perhaps he was exaggerating with cynicism: Y/N could never have faced all this without Norman and he knew it well, since he had lived moments with her of fear and loneliness of the first pregnancy.  
He decided not to scold her again and intercepted the worried look of Norman, who had finally ended the call and was now concentrating on her.

"Stop here... This will be fine!", he finally said to the driver, forcing him to pull over in front of a typical pub with a faded sign.

"But it's a tavern!"

Norman was shocked at the mere idea that Y/N could get in there but she didn't seem to give weight to those complaints, when she opened the door and threw herself out, followed closely by them.  
There wasn't much to do besides waiting for her to feel better and hoping she wouldn't throw up on the side of the road.  
Norman snorted in frustration. He couldn't stand still in there like he was a prisoner.  
The bodyguard looked around suspiciously, ready to stop any curious person and glared at him, when he saw him leaning out of the lowered window.  
If he wanted to complicate things even more, that was the right way: It seemed that people had radars for Norman, wherever he was, whatever clothes he wore, everyone recognized him, everyone stopped him and tried to snatch something from him, which was a kiss, a photo or all the clothes.  
Now Y/N was sitting on the step of that old pub, her head hidden in her hands and the bodyguard's suit jacket protecting the precious dress. Those who had seen them at that moment would have been amazed by that surreal scene and probably would have thought that the beautiful woman with the long black dress must have abused some substance too much.  
A nod from the bodyguard's head was enough for Norman to understand that they were about to enter the pub. And then he felt free to talk.

"It's the third stop today! The third! I knew ist... We should have stayed in Los Angeles! I'm such an idiot..."

"Come on Norman, you couldn't know that this would happen... And if it's any consolation, neither did I."

Norman grimaced and it wanted to look like a smile but it wasn't convincing.  
He felt like a perfect idiot to have agreed to continue from Italy back to New York, but he could not live without it, when his companion had threatened to go there alone.  
Now they were there and the story kept repeating without him being able to do anything at all.  
He looked at the passers-by who watched the luxurious car with curiosity, occasionally turning a glance towards the pub door. He would have given anything to get in there, he couldn't stand to hide, while the others took care of his wife.  
He blinked in surprise.  
His wife? And now where did this come from?  
If there was a word he had never used in his life it was just that.   
But for him Y/N was his wife... She had been for at least two years now.  
Yet he had never found the courage to ask her where she had put the engagement ring, the one he had given her back then during the closing credits of the film.  
The idea of marriage seemed light years away now, and inside himself Norman had the feeling that Y/N was feeling too free to stop with something like that on a piece of paper.  
Now that he thought better of it, he had the feeling that Y/N had never really considered marrying him, or rather, she had never really wanted to conclude their pact with the wedding celebration.  
He felt stupid for thinking about it, who knows why he had always had this romantic idea of engagement? After all, what was it for? They were fine like this...

"Here we are!"  
The bodyguard's voice startled him, he hadn't even noticed their return.

"So? Feeling better?"

Y/N nodded. She was visibly more relaxed and Norman studied her profile, now that her fiery red lips stood out on her skin, making her look like a doll with dangerous charm.  
Yes, she was feeling better now and would have been for at least a few hours, until the effect of the antiemetics would hold.  
The driver restarted the car, trying to get into the traffic with difficulty, or in that huge pit contrary to all the laws of world traffic.

"Hillary and Jeffrey are waiting for us at the restaurant already...", Norman said, looking for his partner's hand.

"Was it really necessary? They had said nothing about to stay away from the official ones!"

He saw her revive her hair, which fell like a shiny Y/H/C cloak over her shoulders.

"I know... But how could I refuse? We will be alone..."

"Yes, but we will have to go into that restaurant... And then people will notice."  
Y/N looked away from their intertwined hands and concentrated on the road.

"So? Enough with the secrets... It's only Jeffrey and Hillary! Who but them?"

"Reedus you know how I feel. But in the end you always do your own thing!"

The man frowned at her. Why did she call him by his last name?  
It was her damn way of putting a certain distance between them and he hated it.  
Already that morning Y/N had clearly told him that she would go alone to the photocall for the promotion of the film, as well as to the conference that had followed it. And now it seemed that she wanted to hide from everyone what was happening between them, as if this was an inconvenient secret.  
Despite their lack of confirmation, their flashback had been followed by the world's largest tabloids and it certainly wouldn't have taken long before anyone began to suspect the actress's pregnancy. This is why Norman would have preferred to tell his friends and family personally, before they discovered it through some gossip and took it to death with him.  
He was offended. Yes, he knew he was acting like a 'wounded boyfriend' at the time but he couldn't help it. He had never been in a similar situation, he had never been someone's companion, the one who remained a step backwards or even hidden in the car and in the hotel.  
And above all he had never been forced to hide such great joy from his family.  
The barriers and the deployment of guards made it clear to both of them that the moment was approaching.  
The fans seemed to cover both sides of the road as far as the eye could see and the most shocking thing for Norman was to see the age of these fans. Of course, the large group of mad going women would never have missed the chance to see him, but there was something different in all that mass of hands and posters. Many more men, many more adults, much less shouting and many more camera flashes. Journalists seemed to be crowded everywhere, even behind the trees.  
He heard Y/N take a deep breath, looking distractedly at her dress and adjusting her plunging neckline.

"Stay calm Y/N... Take a deep breath and smile!"

Norman was already touched by that image, regretting a bit of all his thoughts.  
After all, Y/N was working, she was presenting the most important film of her life until now and she had agreed to have him next to her, despite everything and everyone.  
She who was so obsessed with her credibility as an actress; she was so jealous of her privacy, to report anyone who showed their daughter's face to the public; she who was even ashamed to leave the house without sunglasses.  
Now she was there beside Norman Reedus, not just any man but the same man, who had made her attract all this attention.  
He saw her doing what the bodyguard had advised her and without thinking about it he did it herself.  
Norman didn't think that that the exit would be so difficult, more difficult than Venice and Los Angeles. But there they were in New York, that was Y/N's home and there would be all the most important authorities in the country for the presentation of such an important film.  
The bodyguard was already giving directions to the other security guys, who had joined him and was about to open the door for them, when Y/N grabbed Norman's hand again, while he was touching it with his lips.  
Norman was almost moved when he saw her look down and smile slightly.  
He was reassuring her, just as he had done so many times in the past.  
He smiled as he approached her face to kiss the tip of her nose, so as not to risk ruining her makeup.

"It's your evening... Show them!", he whispered to her lips before seeing her go away from the screams of the public.


	118. Chapter 113

"Sorry for the delay... It was harder than we expected!"

Norman greeted Jeffrey with a hug, while Y/N was welcomed in Hillary's arms.  
She had only to glance over her shoulder at the woman, to realize that her friend had already understood.

"Come on let's sit down... You look tired!"

He pushed the chair back for Y/N, who sat down with a pleading look at the bodyguard.  
He had to save her. He absolutely had to come up with an excuse, to get her out of that situation.  
She felt trapped, that's the truth.  
She loved her friends but the dinner party had been a decidedly daring move for her, who was struggling to eat even a bit of white rice.  
Norman was already making himself pour a huge glass of wine, laughing at some of Jeffrey's jokes.

"Y/N?", Jeffrey addressed her, handing her the bottle.

"No, thank you!"

"Are you sur Don't tell me you've become a teetotal?"

Hillary and Norman looked at each other again, this time more worried. They knew Jeffrey and he was certainly not a person to whom it was possible to say no.

"All right... But only a little bit..."  
Y/N resigned herself to the man's insistence, holding her breath as she brought the glass to her lips.

"So how is the promotion going?"

"A little slow..."  
The bodyguard did not hide his annoyance in his voice.

"What do you mean?"  
Jeffrey nodded to the waiter to wait a second before getting the orders and returned to concentrating on the man.

"Oh nothing... The usual problems of organization. An some other unexpected stuff..."

It was not difficult to guess that he was looking at Y/N, who was trying with all of herself to keep her eyes fixed on the menu, without being able to read even a single word.  
If there was one thing that Y/N could not do it was to lie, the truth was stronger than her.  
Luckily Norman cleared his throat, rushing to her aid.

"Simple setbacks. They can happen, especially here. But it went great! Have you seen the movie yet? It's awesome. You need to see Y/N... The people in Venice were out of breath! It was obvious that she won!"

Y/N settled herself in the chair without saying a word.  
Why was he doing it? Norman knew how much she hated being the center of attention, especially if the compliments came from him.  
But the man seemed not to realize it and continued with greater enthusiasm.

"We wanted you to come too... It would have been worth it! I'm almost sure I've seen people cry."

"Norman... Please..."

"What? It's the truth! Stop being shy! People love you!"

Y/N was tired, visibly embarrassed and furious with him for putting her in that situation.  
But can you blame her?  
It was days that she suffered a lot of pain just to appear radiant and smiling in front of journalists. At that time she should have been in bed, in a warm shower or lying on the couch, while he had dragged her to that luxury restaurant, just because he couldn't wait to scream to the world that he would become a father for once again. And as much as Normam tried to say that it wasn't true, inside he knew very well that his haste to see the faces of the two friends really derived from that.

And Jeffrey did nothing but make it worse.  
"And come on Y/N... You know you deserve it... It would be time for them to give you some recognition for your work! You are one of the most sensational revelations of the last ten years! You know, I happened to talk to a producer recently and he does nothing but praise you. That man adores you."

Y/N now took a sip of water and accidentally crossed Hillary's eyes. Fortunately, her friend knew her enough to remain silent and intervene at the right time.

"Okay, let's order some food now, what do you say? I'm starving!"

"I'll get a salad I guess, and some more water."

"Salad? Are you kidding? We are in the most renowned restaurant in New York and you want a salad? Tell her something Norman! Can't you see how thin you are? You'll end up getting sick again! I thought things were going well now... Or am I wrong?"

Jeffrey looked really upset and worried and Norman put down the bottle he was carefully studying and tried to talk.

"Of course everything is fine! Y/N is just a little tired because of the trip. And she doesn't really love this restaurant stuff, you know it!"

"But you could've said something and I would have taken you somewhere else... Get at least the fillet... That's divine, I assure you! They make it marinate with a lemon and coconut sauce... And they serve it with a bit of red rice and-..."

The woman narrowed her eyes trying to resist but the feeling to vomit was stronger than her.  
"Excuse me..."

Y/N had just flown away like a bolt of lightning and was heading straight for the exit in search of fresh air, without thinking about the fact that the photographers still had to be crowded out there waiting for them.

"Fuck!"  
The bodyguard immediately followed her, risking dropping all the glasses from the table.

"Not you!"  
Norman was blocked by the man's decisive gesture, even before he could get up from his chair to follow her. He then returned to sit down, trying to recompose himself. Safety was the job of the bodyguard, not his and the outputs were the only occasions when the roles had to be maintained.

Jeffrey passed the puzzled look on the faces of those present and finally the feeling that there was something strange was coming to his mind.  
"But... What did I say wrong? Doesn't she like the fillet?"

Noan couldn't help smiling as he tortured his hair with obvious nervousness.  
"No. I think the problem was the coconut in this case..."

His friend met his wife's eyes, who were desperately trying to tell him something and tried to get that coded message, but failed. He then decided to order.  
Once the waiter had left, Y/N again entered the elegant room reserved for them.  
"Excuse me... Sorry Jeffrey! I didn't want to run away like that..."

Her excessively pale face made her look like a mortified child, who had just been scolded by her parents for her behavior.

"It's not a problem at all! But does anyone want to explain? I'm kinda lost here."

Norman looked for Y/N, who didn't even know whether to sit back, feeling the well-known nausea waiting for her to come back.  
All those present did not dare to breathe. They would have spent a terrible quarter of an hour if they had disobeyed the woman's wishes.  
Only Hillary approached her companion with her somewhat dreamy and amused face.

"Jeffrey... It's not that difficult, try to think about it... As usual you are always the last to get there!"

"Norman?"

"Okay... Y/N forgive me but I can't do it!"

It was time to tell them, he felt that the words were screaming inside of him and struggling to get out. He couldn't wait to tell everyone, he couldn't wait to be able to toast to what was the best news of his whole life. He was tired of holding it back.  
He raised his face, expecting his wife's protests from one moment to the next but realized that she was particularly calm.

"Y/N and I are expecting-..."

"No! I can't believe it... I can't believe it! Really?"

Jeffrey didn't even let him finish, already laughing with joy.


	119. Chapter 114

Now that Norman was there ready to talk, it was Jeffrey's gaze lost in the void, towards some dim point at the back of the hall.  
He saw him stand up and heading away, without even looking at him.

"What the hell?"

The confused and surprised expression painted on the faces of those present forced him to turn in the same direction.  
Y/N was dumbfounded and Norman was almost sure he wasn't breathing.  
And finally he heard that unmistakable voice and a lump in his throat tightened suddenly, also preventing him from breathing.

"You will never believe your eyes..."

He was even afraid to look up as he stood up with trembling legs.  
Those two big eyes hadn't changed.

"No..."

"Hey, Norman... How are you? I am very happy to see you!"

His former girlfriend hugged him slightly awkwardly and Norman searched for Y/N's eyes, finding them hidden by her long black lashes.  
This wasn't needed, they had just solved all their problems and here they were facing the last person they ever wanted to meet, the only one who still had the power to make them feel bad.  
And Y/N had noticed, she always noticed everything.

"Yes, sure... I'm fine... What are you doing here in New York?"

"I was... I'm working here in the city at the moment. At a fashion show... "

He realized he had exaggerated, recognizing the well-known embarrassment between them while Jeffrey tried to intervene.

"And your new 'boyfriend'? Where did you leave that piece of man?"

The woman looked down and a smile escaped her, hitting Norman like a slap.

"He's over there... And to tell the truth I was looking for the toilet..."

"Oh sure, it must be at the end of the hallway..."  
Hillary stood up to show her the way, as well as the bodyguard.

It was then that Norman was forced to face the situation, he certainly didn't expect anyone to do it for him but maybe he was trying to postpone that moment.

"Y/N is here too by the way."

It was so strange to be forced to do the greetings, above all because he had no idea how he should present it. And so he returned to the thoughts of that late afternoon.

"Yes, of course! Hi Y/N, long time no see..."

Y/N responded to the irresistible smile of the woman and she had the instinct to lean on the table to avoid falling. But the woman continued pretending not to see her difficulty.

"We saw each other at the gala, remember? You were amazing, let me tell you! I'm serious!"

"Sure, tank you..."

This situation was at least ten times more embarrassing than the compliments Jeffrey and Norman had given her a few minutes earlier. She felt even worse than when she and Norman's Ex-Wife had met for their first time face to face on the hospital terrace.  
Jeffrey returned to take the word; he could not yet believe that they all were gathered in that room.

"Well... Have you already eaten? How about joining your man again? He looks a bit annoyed and lonely over there."

The woman answered without even thinking.  
"Oh, don't worry! We are with some friends..."  
That said he took her leave, heading for the corridor that would take her to the toilets.

The silence had fallen on the table and the bodyguard seemed to be the most restless of all.  
Jeffrey sat down again and nodded to get more wine.

"I can't believe it yet!"

"Yeah... She is here..."

Now Jeffrey would have looked at Y/N and understood that he had to stop with that story.  
Y/N remained standing next to her chair, it was as if she didn't have the courage to move and Jeffrey noticed it immediately.

"Are you okay?"

Y/N nodded thoughtfully and forced herself to sit down with a disproportionate slowness.

"So... I interrupted you before..."

Norman swallowed at the memory of what he was about to say before he was interrupted by that unexpected arrival.  
Now that the woman had disappeared, he had the terrible impression that he had made a huge fool of himself before everyone, especially in front of Y/N.

"I'm pregnant."

Those two words froze the blood in his veins.  
He could not believe that Y/N had said it with such coldness and just at a time like that.  
Even the bodyguard, who had known this by now almost spit out the wine, while Hillary laughed a bit.

"But that are some beautiful news! Oh guys come here..."  
Jeffrey rose loudly from the table, running to lure them into his paternal embrace.

"Y/N how are you feeling? That's why you ran away... I must have been unbearable before, I didn't understand... I really didn't imagine it would be such wonderful news!"

Jeffrey was about to burst with happiness, but Y/N and Norman didn't smile.  
Hillary seemed to sense the concerns that were at the base of that news and tried to dampen her partner's enthusiasm, albeit reluctantly.

"Congratulations! Y/N, sweetheart... Stay strong only these first few months and then you will see that everything will be fine! And tell us, when will it be born?"

"When will THEY be born..."  
The bodyguard cleared his throat and dropped the word like a bomb in the middle of the table. Then he looked up questioningly, feeling slightly observed.  
"Well? What is there to look at? By now you had told them didn't you?"

"Twins?"

Y/N nodded with an embarrassed smile, while Hillary rose from the table with even more enthusiasm than her companion. That was beyond all expectations.

"I can't believe it!"

Norman smiled sheepishly. He realized that he was about to start crying with joy in front of them and the happy expression of his friend, who was now squeezing his cheek like an old, slightly mad aunt.

"Hey, we have to celebrate... Come on, let's get the most expensive wine you have. Let's toast... The whole restaurant has to celebrate, I offer it! Champagne for everyone!"

"Hey, no... No Jeffrey what are you doing?"

"But do you realize what news you've just given us? We don't have to pay attention to money right now!"

"Yes, but... Could we avoid telling it to the press for now?"

Jeffrey's expression suddenly changed when he became aware of the reticence that his friends had also against him.  
He lowered his voice instinctively, approaching the table again.  
"Oh yes... Sorry! You are right but I could not resist..."

Norman laughed, watching the waiter pouring a wine into the glasses from who knows how many dollars.

"Let's toast!"  
Jeffrey's voice sounded clear in the room, while everyone raised their glasses in a much more relaxed way. Even Y/N seemed less agitated, now that she had taken that weight off her heart.

Norman sipped his wine, crossing the glow of emotion in his partner's eyes. He just smiled at her, before being attracted by the angry and sad expression hidden in the back of the room.


	120. Chapter 115

That slight change in his face was enough to attract the attention of Y/N, who turned around, seeing only a rapid movement in the semi-darkness.  
Norman's former girlfriend was barely out of the room, having witnessed that scene of absolute general euphoria.  
Y/N looked down, forgetting the laughter that surrounded her and felt Norman's eyes now fixed on her. It was a delicate moment, neither of them would have wanted things to go that way and neither of them knew how to behave in order not to hurt the feelings of the other.  
Norman felt terribly guilty for embarrassing Y/N and losing control over the unexpected encounter with his former girlfriend.  
At the same time both had seen so much bitterness in those eyes that they now felt ill for showing off all that joy in front of those present.  
Y/N could only imagine what that image of Norman meant for the woman and for once she didn't feel proud of herself for being the woman, who had made him so happy.  
She decided to stand up, silencing everyone.

"What do you have? Do you feel bad?"

The bodyguard was ready to follow her everywhere but the woman blocked him firmly, casting a disgusted look at the fish appetizers.

"No, stay! I just need to get some fresh air... I'll be back in a moment..."

Having said that, she walked away towards the toilets, right along the corridor in which the woman had just disappeared.

"Poor Y/N... It's been like this for weeks...", the bodyguard said, biting into a piece of his food and continuing to talk with his mouth full.  
"We just hope this story ends quickly! I'm not sure I want to go on being a nurse! Norman?", the man addressed Norman, seeing him get up without saying a word.

"It's okay... I'm going to see how she is feeling. Start eating without us!"

He walked quickly towards the bathrooms, looking around with concern. Once again he found himself deciding whether or not to enter a luxurious ladies' room, just like that night two years before, when he had suspected that Y/N and Orlando had an affair.  
Y/N was waiting for him, she was sitting in front of an elegant mirror surrounded by a series of spotlights and her back was turned to him.

"You don't feel bad, do you?"

He saw her shake her head and pull her hair up with a slight smile.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have insisted so much to come here! If you want, we'll leave now!"

Norman came over, kneeling beside the white stool on which she was sitting.

"No, don't worry! And then it was me who said it, didn't I? It was useless to continue with these secrets... You know that soon there will be nothing left to hide!"

She stroked her belly, then taking Norman's hand in hers.  
The man could not remain silent, he had too many thoughts in his head.

"Listen, I know what you think... But you don't have to worry about her! I didn't expect to see her, that's all! I would have understood if my Ex-Wife would be here with Mingus. But she never comes here! But now don't think about this situation... It just took me by surprise! Do you believe me?"

He was praying to her with his words. He was terrified that Y/N would tell him that she no longer trusted him for the involuntary reaction he had had a few minutes before facing that woman.

"Of course I believe you!"

Norman now became even more serious. He wasn't sure he heard it right.  
"Do you really believe me?"

He saw her burst out laughing.  
"Yes... I believe you Norman! Is it so weird that I do?"

"No... I mean... I was just convinced that you'd be angry. I mean, you wouldn't have talked to me and maybe you would have told me to get back to her, like you used to back then... You would have tried to convince me that I still feel something for her. But it's not like that! And it's not the right time to fall into these thoughts... I don't want you to get nervous. I don't want to waste time with stupid fights anymore."

Y/N silenced him by putting a finger on his lips. He was adorable, so confused and mortified.  
"And in fact I'm going to tell you. Go to her... Talk to her before she leaves."

The man's expression turned from confused to incredulous.  
"What are you talking about? No! Don't even mention it! We have nothing to tell us... Did you see how embarrassed we were?"

"You were embarrassed because of Jeffrey. And also a little bit because of me! You have to do it Norman, I've seen her before too. I saw her look as she left and... God, I don't know how to explain it but I felt terribly bad! I want this to be a moment of happiness for us... I know you think the same way..."

Norman didn't know what to say but decided to speak.  
"It's just that I don't want to ruin things again... It took us too long to get here, I don't want you to be jealous, I don't want you to worry about something that won't happen and above all, I don't want us to end up reproaching this situation like we did in the past..."

"It won't happen... And if you don't speak to her now, you'll be the one to blame me in in twenty years! We need to stop with those hate."

Norman smiled slightly.  
"You say you will still be with me in twenty years?"

"Oh, you can bet!"


	121. Chapter 116

"Congratulations then..."

The woman threw out a cloud of smoke and looked up to meet his eyes.  
Norman prepared to light his cigarette.  
He replied looking down to hide behind the zippo flame.  
"Thank you... It was an unexpected thing... These last months have been unexpected to tell the truth."

"Y/N is strange."

Norman raised an eyebrow at that exclamation imperceptibly. Surely he expected a judgment from his ex, but not that.

"Is that a compliment?", he asked, taking a piece of tobacco from his tongue.

"I would say so..."

They both relaxed slightly. The ice had been broken in one way or another and now they could concentrate a little more, without pretending to study the squalor of the back of one of the most luxurious restaurants.

"And your boyfriend... Is he weird too?"

"Oh, he is the strangest man I know. He's completely out of his mind... Don't you see it? An ecologist stylist, a lover of trekking and culture. There is nothing sensible about him... But we're fine."

The woman hesitated a moment before answering and Norman wanted to get that question back.

"Yes... We're fine together! We compensate each other, he respects me a lot and above all he gives me space. You know, a lot has changed since then, Norman."  
The woman shrugged slightly.

"Are you cold? Do you want that we go back inside?"

"Oh no..."  
The woman laughed, she must have thought the same thing.  
"I didn't want to be intrusive..."

"You knew you needed someone who knew you. Let your new boyfriend see the real you."

The woman now leaned her head against the red bricks of the wall behind her.  
"The real me... And who knows where the real me was back then! I was completely crazy..."

They remained silent for a few moments, which seemed eternal.

"I'm so sorry!", she finally decided to say to Norman.

And it was the truth, she was sorry what had happened and also that she had tried to push him away from Y/N, pretending that she could erase her from his life.  
But only now could she admit it, only now enough time had passed for her to realize that she hadn't done everything she did for good reasons.

"I know you are sorry, I've always known... But I wouldn't have accepted it a few months before..."

The woman's hand now rested on his chest and startled him. "You've always been so stubborn!"

Norman tried to laugh, feeling the anxiety grow for that unexpected contact.  
"I've always been too much in love with Y/N!"

That was the dry answer she received. An answer that did not allow any replies.  
Norman had the feeling of not being able to breathe, while desperately looking for an excuse to change the subject.

"Now I understand everything."

"Now?", Norman asked and looked for the tobacco again. He needed to smoke a cigarette to release some stress.

"Yes, now. Inside. I saw you, you know? I saw you all, Jeffrey and his wife, Y/N..."

He didn't like how that name sounded on the woman's lips.  
"Well... It was a special moment. I never wanted you to hear about it like that... I mean, I would have told you sooner or later but we didn't want it to be known... It's still too early."

The woman smiled, recognizing his embarrassed expression.  
"Stop it, you don't have to justify yourself! It's me that shouldn't have gone through that room. I felt like an intruder!"

The woman did not give him time to reply but continued with determination.

"I was so stupid! For a moment I thought that everything was repeating itself like then, the butterflies in my stomach, my dry mouth... Everything was going exactly as I had imagined it in these years. But no, we are no longer the same. We've grown up, Norman, we've changed. You've changed. And I have to admit that seeing that expression on your face made me understand it. Not that I've never seen you talk about your children, I know how much you love them. But here, now you're here in front of me. I recognize you, it's you, Norman... But you're not my Norman anymore! And it's so palpable, so vivid in front of my eyes that I wonder how I didn't notice it before."

Norman was silent, he didn't know what to answer to that belated declaration, but the woman's clear voice woke him up again.

"You're a very lucky man."

"I never thought otherwise..."

"And I envied you. It's strange, I didn't envy Y/N for taking the place that I always thought was mine... But I envied you, because you found your place and believe me, I thought you would never make it without me."

Those were terrible words and at the same time they were beautiful.  
That woman was telling him that she had been waiting for him for a lifetime, convinced that he would sooner or later stop making those mistakes, which always took him further away from her. She had waited to hear the butterflies in her stomach and her trembling legs and now, only now, she understood that it would never happen again.  
She clenched her jaw, swallowing and looking for something sensible to say but nothing came out.

"That woman changed you, didn't she?"

"No... I don't think so... It was time that changed me. If you knew how many mistakes I made until then."

"Yes, maybe... But now you have stopped making mistakes. I see it in your eyes. You stopped feeling so incomplete and putting rings on the fingers of the first one that passes by."

Norman turned to her, staring at her with an unintentionally offended expression.

"I wonder if I too will find my love somewhere."

"I thought it's your boyfriend?"

"Oh no! He is the man who is making me grow, he is taking away from me that problematic and hypersensitive aura. I feel strong next to him."

Norman thought about how true those words were. He had felt invincible beside his Ex-Wife, as if the rest of the world could no longer hurt him but he hadn't realized that he was hurting himself.

"You will find it... And who knows, maybe in a year we will meet here again and you will be the one celebrating good news."

The woman's face darkened suddenly.  
"No... It's impossible."

"I thought you wanted children?"

"Sure... I wanted them with you. But, No... I'm too old."

"Are you serious? And what would I be then? Dead?"

The woman replied with an amused grimace.  
"It's different for me... Time has passed and I have waited too long in the name of a love that no longer exists. Now I want to think of myself. I want to feel strong and free. I want to feel like now! You know, it's weird... I never thought I'd feel so good after this conversation! We should have done this some years ago, don't you  
think?"

Norman tried to breathe and realized it was true. There was no longer any sense of oppression, regret or embarrassment. They were free. He was free from the past.

"Yeah... And the important thing is that we did it."


	122. Chapter 117

"Here you go... Fruit for my two girls!"  
Norman entered the bathroom with a huge tray loaded with fruits.  
"I don't guarantee anything, at least for these little yellow balls with an uninviting look... Maybe I try them first, what do you say?"

He knelt beside the bathtub, in which Y/N was immersed, while their daughter enjoyed splashing around like a little fish.

"No honey, wait a minute!"

Norman blocked her little hands, which were already attracted by the bright colors of the fruits.

"Thanks Norman!", Y/N said, sitting up with a sigh.

"How are you feeling?", he finally asked, stroking her wet hair.

"Better... It seems that water is their element...", she smiled at him, taking a strawberry from the tray.

She was feeling better and all thanks to the doctor, who had given her that advice to fight nausea first; since then Y/N spent most of her days soaking in the huge bathtub. While their daughter couldn't wait to dive in and play with the myriad of plastic animals that floated almost everywhere.

"Hey, no!", Y/N called the girl back, who had already flooded her father's face with water.

"It always makes an impression on me to see you in here together.", the man said, drying his face with his shirt.

"Why?"

"Well... It reminds me of the christmas dinner a bit, of That night."

Y/N smiled.  
"What? Nothing went well back then!"

Norman returned to her with an unconvinced look and the woman adjusted herself.  
"Okay, let's say it could have been better..."

"This time, nothing like that will happen!"  
Norman spoke in a tone too serious, as he handed a piece of apricot to his daughter.

He was worried, Y/N could read it in his slightly swollen eyes. She knew she could no longer sleep well and often he took care of the baby when she woke up during the night.

"Of course... We'll be careful. I promise that I will follow everything the Doc will say to me!"

"And we will schedule the cesarean..."

"If necessary..."

Norman sat down, a sign that he would not go away very easily.  
"Of course it will be necessary, she told you so... I read that-..."

"No! Not again... We won't start with this story again... You always 'read' something."

Y/N couldn't take it, they had reached the point where, wherever she went, she found him with the magazines that opened exactly on the page Norman wanted her to read.

"Yes, I read, why? Is it so strange that want to read about it? There are websites with lots of direct testimonies from other parents, who have already experienced this situation. Just because we've already had a baby, doesn't mean we're prepared for what's going to happen with twins."

"All right. Look, I know you're worried... But...", Y/N hesitated, searching for the right words to avoid hurting the feelings of her companion.  
"I really don't want to offend you Norman... It's just that you're getting a little obsessed with these things. I know you do it for me, for us... But you'll end up filling your head with useless paranoia."

Norman returned to her with an expression that was anything but convinced.  
"Well sure... Back then you vomited for five days straight! Could it have been better than this?"

"Always the usual defeatist... Meanwhile I was able to participate in all the events and go to the awarding!", she replied, still satisfied with the award won by the film.

"Yes, but it will never happen again... Should I live a hundred years, I will never allow you to do such nonsense again! You don't have a functioning brain when it comes to work..."

"Okay, okay... Okay boss, try to relax a little! I'm already quite anxious without you even talking about it!"

Norman clenched his jaws to refrain from giving her a too impulsive answer.  
After all, Y/N didn't really have a point, she was facing a new situation and her body hadn't helped her a lot yet. She didn't need him to point out all the endless deadly complications that a twin pregnancy could bring.  
Now he braced himself and smiled again.

"I just hope these two calm down and give me back my wife! I'm tired of seeing you alone in here."

"But who is your wife? I thought you were divorced."

Y/N made fun of him. Norman came over to kiss her but their daughter intervened with a mischievous smile.  
She just couldn't stop herself from participating whenever she saw her parents in affectionate attitudes. It would have been hard, especially with the arrival of the twins, of which she would surely have been very jealous.

"You're right, honey... We're not married. Yet.", Norman laughed, holding his daughter before she slipped back into the tub.

"We could always fix it..."  
The woman's voice made him immobilize.

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that? I just said we could get married! "

"Really?"

"Really?", their daughter's voice echoed, repeating everything now.

Y/N widened her eyes, with that crazy expression she always had when she wanted to tease him.  
"I... Well... I thought it was an archived idea by now. After all that happened... I thought we would never do it again!"

Norman was confused, he had thought about it so much during their last trip and even later, when his meeting with his former girlfriend had convinced him even more that he had finally taken the right path.  
Y/N seemed as surprised as he was of his uncertainties. Wasn't she usually the insecure one?

"I never said I wouldn't marry you... I just wanted to postpone the wedding at the time and you know why... But stop looking at me like that... What's wrong? Do you still want to marry me, Reedus?"

The man laughed at the overturned proposal.  
"Are you asking for my hand, Y/L/N?"

"Well if you put it like this... I didn't want to do it this way, At least not in here, but apparently the most important things always happen in the bathroom! So come on, look in the drawer... The one under the mirror."

Norman was quiet for a moment looking at her, winking with a slight smile, which he couldn't get out of his face. Y/N knew how much he loved surprises and had been waiting for that moment for too long now.  
Finally he decided to get up and open the white drawer, in which Y/N kept all her important stuff.

"It's a mess in here!"  
That was his first reaction to the sight of the myriad eye shadows, pencils and foundation of every brand and color.

"Come on... As if you keep your things better!"

"Okay, then give me at least some clues."  
He took over, moving some boxes with his fingertips, as if they could bite him.

"Look better!"

"Great clue... I look and I look but I don't see anything here..."

His voice froze when he spotted a small casket with ancient engravings. He picked it up and realized he was excited. He could imagine very well what it was but this did not detract from his curiosity. It was still a gift and Y/N didn't make many.  
He returned to the tub, struggling to resist the temptation to open it.

"So what are you waiting for?", the woman urged him, as soon as he was back by her side.

Norman slowly opened the box, as if it was a real treasure and then burst out laughing.  
The interior, completely covered in dark blue velvet, brought out two beautiful diamonds-covered skulls. He took one in his fingers, realizing how thin it was and focused on the details of those gruesome treats.

"What? Do you really want to give me a skull ring for a marriage?", he asked her, amazed and amused by the eccentricity shown once again by his partner.

"Well, why not? After all, that's what we'll be... Together until death."

"That wasn't really the idea I had of our marriage.", he  
replied, puzzled.

"Yeah, I know... It's just that they were so beautiful! I couldn't resist! Look... They are perfect."

Norman looked at the two jewels again, by now he was already convinced.

"And would you like them to be our wedding rings?"

"Why not?"  
Y/N took the small ring from Norman's hand and slipped it over her left ring finger.

"When?", the man finally asked with more trepidation.

"I don't know... In a few weeks?"

This then was really an unexpected answer. Norman's eyes widened as he anchored himself to the edge of the tub.

"Don't you want to wait for the twins to be born? You said-..."

"Yes, I said I didn't want to get married with my baby bump and risk looking like a balloon! But I don't want to postpone it anymore... I just hope I don't feel bad in front of everyone!"

Norman smiled, remembering the same discussion they had over a year ago. He was in seventh heaven, he could not believe that it was Y/N who offered it to him and in that way.  
He moved closer, touching her chin with his fingers.  
"You always knew that my greatest wish was to marry a balloon!"

He touched her lips with a kiss, before resuming.

"Now what is it? September ... How about next month? October?"  
Y/N nodded happily and let him continue.  
"We will celebrate it here, we will perform the civil ceremony. We will invite a few people..."

Y/N looked at him with resignation.  
"A few? Hiw many are a few for you?"

"What do I know... Our families, colleagues... Friends..."

"Here we go again... That's already more than two hundred!", she snorted, returning to plunge into the water up to her neck.

"Probably a hundred and fifty?"

He was trying. Y/N knew all too well that Norman had a myriad of friends and that he would not be separated from any of them for one reason or another. He didn't select, he had this magical aura, which made anyone stick to him. That wedding would be a disaster... Or maybe a memorable party.


	123. Chapter 118

Y/N patiently took the last toy out of her daughter's hands and Norman finally took her in his arms, surrounding her with the towel.

"Now we'll go downstairs to your Grandma and give her the good news. You'll see how happy she will be.", he told her, rubbing her hair, to laugh at the final result.  
He then turned to Y/N, who by now seemed to become one with the bathtub.

"But tell your mother not to be offended if I don't touch her food. I know she made it for me but I just can't eat it at the moment. I swear I will repay her for all the attention she has!"

"Y/N stop it, she does it because she wants to! You know how happy she is to be with us. I haven't seen her so happy for so long."

He smiled at his daughter, covering her with an embarrassing amount of talcum powder.

"Norman please... She looks like you floured her!"

Their daughter began to sneeze at all the powder and Norman tried to cover her again with the wet towel.  
Y/N leaned her head against the edge of the tub.  
Norman knew how to deal with children, he loved them and the sound of his voice was enough to calm them down, but he still had small problems in the practical part of the work.

"What are you looking at me like this? It's all right, see? Everything's fine... Now let's get dressed."

Y/N smiled and her daughter smiled too, trying to sneak away from her father's grip.

"Stop laughing... Stop it, Y/N! I get anxious!"

"Okay, okay... Sorry! But you'll have to be faster!"

Norman sighed as he tried to retrieve the other arm, which their daughter didn't want to put in his pajama sleeve.  
"Don't make me think about it! I don't even dare to imagine what this house will become. It's already a madhouse! But we'll have everything under control."

"And your mother..."

Norman gave up the little shirt fight for a moment and looked at her in confusion.  
"My mother? But she'll drive home next week!"

"Come on Norman, I've talked to you already! Why, wouldn't you like it if she stayed here?"

"Well, she's independent now."

"So, what's that got to do with it? Look how much space we have here. She could have an apartment of her own!"

"I would have expected anything but to persuade my mother to live here is just out of this world! I mean... Really? My mother?"

Y/N only smiled. As much as she tried to hide it, she knew that Norman was in seventh heaven for that news. After his mother's health problems, they were even closer and Norman didn't hide how worried he was about her and how much he wanted her to be close to him.  
In addition, Y/N strongly felt the lack of her own family and was glad that her children had an important figure like one grandmother nearby, as her parents would rarely see them.  
She sat back in the tub, squeezing her Y/H/C hair.

"I better get out too!"  
She stood up and retrieved the huge burgundy robe.

"Wait, I'll help you!"  
Norman held her as she exited the tub, being careful not to slip. She had become quite self-conscious in the last few weeks, her body seemed to change at a bewildering speed even for her.

She looked at herself in the mirror with a grimace of disgust and started dabbing her hair with a towel.  
Norman looked at her sympathetically, knowing how much she hated her new silhouette, even though he never missed a chance to repeat how much he loved her.  
They stayed like that for a while, with Y/N trying to comb her daughter's hair while Norman continued to mess her up with the heat of the hair dryer.

"When do you think it happened?", the man finally asked, as if that question had been buzzing in his head for who knows how long.

"What do you mean?"

The man glanced at the belly hidden by the robe, before raising his gaze again on her.

"Oh, them? I don't know."

"In the Bahamas! No, wait! In Paris! It must have happened in Paris! I bet it was that night at the theater!"

Y/N blushed at the memory of those days of unbridled passion, in which they behaved like two unconscious teenagers.

"It's unbelievable that there are two of them in there!", the man exclaimed after turning off the hair dryer and returning the pacifier to their daughter.

"You will soon believe..."  
Y/N started combing her mind wandering.  
"What do you think they will be?", she finally asked, as if she was already in a world far away from that bathroom.

"Definitely not actors!"  
That was Norman's sharp and decisive response. He was terrified that his children would decide to venture into that world.

"That's not what mean. Do you think they'll be male or female?"

"Maybe both?"

"Yeah, sure...", Y/N said sarcastically.

"Stop it! We can't choose it!"  
Norman approached her side, holding his daughter, who as always was fascinated by her mother's Y/H/C hair. Y/N freed herself from her hands and continued with a dreamy gaze.

"I believe they will be two males. I feel it..."

"No! Don't even say it! I don't think I can do it. They will definitely destroy my ego!"  
Norman pretended to be worried and continued.  
"Actually I wouldn't mind another two females."

He tickled his daughter, making her laugh.  
"You know it doesn't matter, do you?"  
He kissed her hair tenderly, before Y/N began to dry them in turn.

Of course it didn't matter, they would have loved those two human beings with all of them themselves, trying to guarantee them all the serenity, which they hadn't been able to maintain with their first daughter.

"What is it?", Norman asked, recognizing the puzzled look on the woman's face.

Y/N answered him with shaking her head and giving him a smile. She had no desire to give voice to those uncomfortable thoughts, not at least in such an utterly perfect moment.  
But Norman did not give up and settled their daughter on the other arm, pushing the woman's bathrobe slightly away to uncover a shoulder.

"Come on... What is it?", he finally whispered into her ear, before going down to kiss her skin.

He felt her shiver slightly as he could sense her expression now that her whole body seemed so sensitive.  
Y/N narrowed her eyes and turned off the hair dryer, taking a deep sigh.  
"This is not true though...", she said only with a whisper.

It was true, Norman always knew how to bribe her, especially now that the cocktail of hormones kept her from resisting him.

"You know I have my weapons!", Norman winked, turning his sly glance at the mirror but was interrupted by his daughter, who reminded him of being there in the guise of a father and certainly not a seducer.

"But didn't you want to go down to your grandmother?"

"In a moment... First I want to know what's going on. I know there is something..."  
It was true, Norman had guessed that she was not as calm as she wanted to appear.

"Your dad says lies, did you know honey?"

The man said nothing but remained enraptured following her every move. He loved to recognize the changes in that body, he loved to smell the oil on her almost transparent skin and to recognize the movements of those hands. They would have said he was a maniac, but he knew he was just a man in love.  
They remained silent for a few minutes, savoring that now familiar moment, until Y/N finally gave vent to her thoughts.

"I was thinking about the marriage..."

An alarm bell rang in Norman's head.   
"Why?"  
He struggled but could not sound as calm as he wanted.

"Before we get married we should break the news..."

"Well... Certainly we will send invitations like last time... Maybe we could write a note specifying that this time we're serious...", he tried to joke, despite Y/N's serious expression.

"I'm talking about someone in particular."

Norman studied her without understanding who she was referring to and Y/N continued.

"Don't you want certain people to find out again in the gossip magazines? Think about it Norman... It would be a terrible move!"

"But why? It's our life... What's the point? And then what should I do? Send a telegram to the serious newspapers?"

He did not know why but he was afraid of seeing his woman out of her mind again and he did not understand well whether this stemmed from the fear of discussing again or from being struck by sensuality, as so many times in the past.

"The best thing would be to talk to them... It's been a while, the interview is in the past now. I mean, I guess it won't have passed but at least they won't have the excuse of having been ignored again."

Norman didn't answer but continued to stare at his daughter's toys, while she enjoyed scattering them on the carpet at his feet.

"And Norman... I know how much it costs... It's time to close these doors if we want to look to the future!"

She saw him sigh and nod reluctantly.  
Norman hated having to agree with it but it was true. How could he think of starting a new life without having a clear conscience.  
But after all, the serenity he had tasted had been nothing but a few fleeting moments.  
The past continued to present itself cyclically, if only in the mistakes they made without ever having learned from the previous time.

"Okay... I will do it. Maybe I will ask some reporters I know to have lunch with us together... But what are you doing now?"

He looked up, finding himself in front of Y/N, intent on taking off quickly the thin dress, which she had put on just a few seconds before.

"I'll go back in the tub...", she told him, throwing her dress to the ground and barely holding back her nausea.

Norman shook his head, giving her a slight smile and turning on the warm water again.  
"I guess we'll have to organize this wedding in the pool..."

The woman didn't even answer but left her head against the edge, smiling and hating him a little.


	124. Chapter 119

He looked at his mobile phone for the umpteenth time, continuing to drum his hands on his faded jeans.  
Norman wandered with his eyes along the street, he was in one of his favorite restaurants, one of the few in which he was sure they wouldn't have bothered him: There he always had a reserved table and the owner, would not allow anyone's presence nuisance.  
His bodyguard caught his eye through the window and Norman knew the time had come.  
He took a sip of sparkling water and adjusted the scarf around his neck as he felt anxiety grow.  
And finally they were there. The reporters and his female manager who did the huge mistake in the past...  
They did not even greet each other, it was no longer needed.  
The atmosphere was certainly not the most relaxed and the man wondered why he had decided to listen to Y/N in setting up that meeting.

"Have you already ordered?", the woman's question was cold, as she flipped through the menu without bothering to look at him. He had to expect it after all.  
Norman nodded to the waiter and ordered the same thing as usual, looking at them other with slight embarrassment.

"No wine?", the reporter asked with slight amazement.

"No, no wine...", he merely answered, preferring not to go into the detail of that change in his routine. Certainly there was no need to let them share the decision to reduce vices as much as possible, in anticipation of the arrival of the twins.

The woman concentrated on her flawless red nails and decided to break the ice.  
"So? Why are we here?"

Norman cleared his throat.  
"I called to tell you that I was sorry that it ended like this... I should have been more careful not to risk missing respect. You know I don't behave so irresponsibly. I wanted to talk to you in person and give you all the explanations you deserve."

"But what explanations do you talk about? Doesn't that sound a little hypocritical to you? Tell me, did I misunderstand something? It was all my fault."

The woman's voice showed all her resentment.  
He saw her take a cigarette out of her beige leather handbag and was upset when she steadfastly refused the flame of her zippo.

"You have every reason to be angry with me... I don't ask you to forgive me, I know it seems impossible to do it now! I just want to be clear, I want you to know that I care about you, I'm really sorry for how I handled this whole situation.", she then said.

"Are you talking about this situation or that of exactly two years ago? Tell me, what's different now? Perhaps the fact that this time I really believe you? Or the fact that I agreed to work with you?"

The waiter arrived with their appetizers and served the wine to the woman, breaking that moment of tension.  
When he walked away, Norman settled back in his chair, waiting for her to finish smoking.  
He had no desire to eat, he just wanted to take off that lump, which clenched his throat.

"Listen, I have no excuse for my behavior. I think I did it all wrong from the beginning, I probably never managed to close definitively with Y/N because of her hospitalization. We left that situation in abeyance. And believe me, I thought I could work again with you... I really thought that we could do it... We always had that  
understanding between us."

"Yeah, but obviously that's not enough. How many times have I already told you?"

"What are you talking about?" The woman almost spat out the appetizer, in which she had just bitten.

Norman remained silent, placing his fork on the plate and wiping his mouth with the napkin. He had to force himself to remain calm; those were the words of a wounded woman, but they were also serious words on the part of a person, with whom he had thought of really building a good work relationship.

"Y/N is smart, she played her cards better."

"Hey, now you're exaggerating!"  
Norman struggled to stay still in the chair, unable to look her in the eye.

"Do you really think what you did happened because she came into my life? You literally sold her to the paparazzi!"

"Because I love you Norman! I love you!"  
Her eyes were as clear as the water. Now she looked down at her plate, playing with the food without being able to eat it.  
"I'm sorry..."

Norman shook his head decisively and put his fork down. He hated hearing that kind of talk.

"I didn't knew...", he finally decided to say.

A mocking grimace answered him.  
"Oh, of course not... You have already lived your best years with a thousand other women, haven't you? You probably lost count by now."

"What do you want? Where do you want to go? We always knew that there was a big difference between us!"

"Yes... And you always knew that I was your fan... And that I would be willing to do everything just to be with you! And you tell me you didn't knew?"

"What are you talking about? Tell me it's a joke, please..."

"I never said such a thing... I just said that I could have lived my years differently if you hadn't been there."

"Differently? And how?"

"I see that you have not learned to listen yet."  
The woman did not get upset at all, she seemed almost satisfied to have gotten that reaction from him.

"And I have the feeling of having listened too much for today."

Norman tried to regain his composure, it was useless to try to think that way, he might as well get to the point why he had made her come there.  
He sighed, looking absently at his hands, which were playing nervously on the tablecloth.

"Okay listen, there's no better way to say it, so I'll just tell you. I asked you to see us, because it's to let you know about my decision, before the gossip magazines do it for me. I know you won't care, but I think it's better to do things in a respectful way..."

The woman did not answer but began to eat, showing off an indifference that she certainly did not have.

"Look... Y/N and I set the date."  
The silence fell heavily on the terrace.  
"I know that in this way you do not facilitate things, but I wanted to be the one to tell you in person and to a serious reporter."

"What a kind gesture...", was the sarcastic and bitter comment of the woman, who did not even raise her eyes from the plate.

"When?"

"In a month more or less."

"I see you don't waste any time."

Norman took a sip of water and looked for her eyes before continuing. It was much harder than he thought, but now that she was there, he had no intention of leaving any cards covered.

"And actually that's not everything..."

The woman burst into a strained laugh, leaning against the backrest and unleashing her defiant expression.  
"And what can still be there? Do you want me to be a bridesmaid? Or no, wait... Don't tell me that she set you up by getting pregnant again!"

The blue eyes that struck her left no room for doubt and turned the mocking smile into a grimace of hatred.  
"I can't believe it. I can't believe it!"

He saw her throw the napkin on the table with anger.  
The woman's face grew even darker as she stood up and Norman was almost afraid she would hit him.

"That's the usual bullshit... Sometimes I wonder if that woman seriously bewitched you! But we both know it Norman, you're not a faithful man. You won't forget your Ex. But this time I won't be there to help you getting out of it!"

Norman saw her walk away safely, her white dress fluttering in the breeze, barely caressing her curves.  
Perhaps he should have been more categorical with his partner, perhaps he should have refused to do such madness to 'close all doors', like she said.  
But deep down he was really convinced that sincerity was the only way to face that woman, to face everything, to be honest.  
He pushed the plate away and leaned with both elbows on the white tablecloth observing the reporter who was still waiting for him to talk.  
Norman knew that he had done the right thing, it would have been too petty to let people read about his tabloid marriage, but the effect had been devastating for both of them.  
He looked at the other glass still full of white wine that the woman had not even touched and had the instinct to drain it to the last drop.  
He looked around, feeling suddenly lost, not knowing what to say.  
He reached for the back pocket of the worn jeans and took out his bag of tobacco, maybe that would help him think better and calm down.  
Who knows, maybe she was right when she said that sooner or later he would fall again. After all, the past proved it.  
But now he felt that there were no more doors left except the one he couldn't wait to open, looking up at the reporter and starting to talk.


	125. Chapter 120

"No! You can't!"

Mingus closed the bedroom door just in time, before his father entered.

"What? Are you ashamed now?", he teased him, tapping the door at the rhythm of the deafening song, coming from his son's stereo.

Mingus looked out and looked at him with his eyes, as if to warn him.  
He answered him with a questioning expression.

"You can't see the bride's dress before marriage!"

So Y/N was in there?  
Norman recovered from his surprise and instinctively leaned over Mingus' head, to see at least one corner of the dress.

"No dad! You really can't."

Norman smiled, finding the pale wood of the door again a few inches from his nose.  
"Come on... You can't really believe that bullshit!"

He leaned back against the door, trying to pick up something between the notes of the song, deciding to give up.  
That day was turning out to be a real disaster; first the meeting with his old manager and the reporter, then Mingus and Y/N.  
At that moment he heard the click of the lock behind him and turned just before he was hit by Mingus, who ran like a fury towards the bathroom, with his little sister crying in his arms.

"Hey, what-..."

He turned around only a moment and saw the figure of Y/N, through the half-open door.  
He should have followed his daughter and his son but instinct forced him to enter.

"What's going on?"

"She must have got something in her eye... What are you doing there? Give me a hand!"

Y/N was trying desperately to lower the zipper of her wedding dress to run to her daughter, whose screams echoed throughout the house.  
Norman hesitantly entered the bedroom, shaken by the vision of Y/N, reflected in the mirror in front of him.  
He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to see her advancing towards the altar wearing the beautiful dress, and now she was there, right before his eyes, already looking absolutely perfect.

"Norman! Please!", the woman called him, waving towards him in the precious silk.

"Okay, okay... Stop and stand still!"

He found the zipper and lowered it slowly down her back, holding his breath. Could he imagine something more magnificent?

They both looked around, only seeing Mingus' clothes.

"Okay, give me your shirt..."

"My shirt?"

"Yes, give me your shirt... It'll be fine!"

Norman looked down at the shirt he was wearing. He wasted no time and handed it to Y/N, helping her slip it in quickly, before they both ran to the bathroom.  
Their daughter was still sobbing more from fear than from eye pain, on which Mingus had placed a wet handkerchief.

"Now it's better... It's all gone!"

Norman picked her up, cuddling her while Y/N tried to look under the temporary bandage.

"Maybe it would be better to go to the emergency room!"

"No, don't worry. Everything is fine."

Now they would have gone to their bed and as every time Norman would have sang a song, so she would be distracted and also the fear would go away.  
Y/N clutched the shirt, staying a few steps away from the bed to observe the scene already seen and revised. It seemed that their daughter was hypnotized by her father's voice and the movement of his hands In those moments, anything could happen, but she wouldn't notice.  
Norman started with the usual arrangements and looked up smiling at the woman.


	126. Chapter 121

Norman rubbed his eyelids and recognized only the blurred outlines of his reflection.  
He looked terrible: He hadn't slept but turned around all the time in bed, counting the minutes that separated him from the rsising morning sun.  
And now he stood there like a fool, in front of the enormous mirror of one of the guest rooms and he no longer even remembered how to wear a pair of cufflinks.

"Still in here? Norman you're already late, you'll end up arriving after the bride!"  
Jeffrey had just entered and was already more anxious than he was.

"I know... Just give me a damn moment.", he cursed, giving up after the umpteenth attempt.

"Show me. Your hands are shaking, man! How many coffees have you already had today?", Jeffrey asked and was laughing.  
"Done.", he finally told him, pushing both shoulders away.

Their eyes met and Norman had the impression that Jeffrey was even more agitated than him. He probably hadn't slept and was sure he would notice the same dark circles on his wife's pale face. Those two had done so much for him and Y/N, they had done everything to keep them together and even now, despite the distance, they continued to be the best friends the couple could wish for.

"How do you feel?", Jeffrey asked him, glancing fleetingly in the mirror and ruffling his already disheveled hair.

"Good! Good, I think..."

Norman adjusted his collar again as if it could choke him.  
"Come on, don't panic right now!"

His friend's voice softened. He was so happy for Norman, because he seemed finally the man he had always hoped he would become, a conscious man satisfied with his choices, a man he had always seen under that armor of restlessness and who had finally emerged, thanks to all the battles overcoming in recent years.

"Yeah... I've waited so long...", he replied, looking at his hands.

He just had to remember to breathe and forget that everyone was watching him as he made that commitment.  
The hint of a smile appeared on Norman's face, before he looked back serious again to look for his friend's eyes.  
"Are you still angry?"

"Angry? And why should I ever be angry?"  
Jeffrey's confused expression left no doubt about his sincerity.

"I meant for that whole story. For everything you told me, that I let her get away... That I should marry her."

It was an absurd question at a time like this, but in the past time Norman had never wanted to talk about it seriously with his friend, except to tell him to stop with his romantic fantasies.  
Jeffrey looked at him for a moment that seemed like an eternity to both of them and smiled.

"Hey, are you serious? Do you think I would have accepted to be your wedding witness, if you hadn't been more than happy with your choice? You know how annoying it was to me since I'm friends with both of you, but now, that you're back together, you have decided to take another big step... I mean, if you've decided to get married, despite the disappointments, the children, the career... Well, then it means that you found that the right one. The one that makes your eyes shine and makes you become a bit more man when you need it."

Norman instead felt that he couldn't smile because of the anxiety that was twisting his guts.  
He was doing it. He was getting married.  
He already knew that his legs would tremble, he would look for his mother's moving gaze and he would instead have been kidnapped by the dark eyes of his father, with his ever-present leather vest. He would have asked for the approval of Hillary, who would have incinerated him with haunted eyes, to instruct him to stop torturing his hands. And finally she, Y/N, would come, and it would have been a dream, like the first time he had only caught a glimpse of her at the set years before and how he still saw her, day after day.  
Now he studied himself in the mirror for the last time.

"You're still in time, you know that?"  
Jeffrey took the small box with the two rings, heading for the door.

"Haven't I already lost enough time?"


	127. Chapter 122

Norman realized that he hadn't taken his eyes off Y/N even for a second.  
The friend's nod reminded him that it was time to pronounce the vows, before exchanging rings.  
It would not have been easy, he felt the woman's cold and sweaty hands pressed into his, while he hoped not to make any mistakes and not to panic.  
They had done it thousands of times; reading in front of an audience was a liberation, a cathartic experience, which managed to free them most of the time. But now it was as if there was no audience, they were not reading any script, they were talking to their souls and everything else remained blurred in the background.  
Their low and slightly uncertain voices merged into those words.

"God, protect those we love.  
We honor what you have created, striving to unite our hearts and our lives.  
We honor Mother Earth and ask that our marriage be abundant and grow stronger and stronger through the time.  
We honor the Fire and ask that our union be warm and bright thanks to the love of our hearts.  
We honor the Wind and ask to navigate through life calm and secure, as in the arms of a father.  
We honor Water because it cleanses and soothes our union, so that there is never a thirst for love.  
With all the forces of the universe that you have created, we pray for harmony, so as to grow forever young together. Amen."

They stood for a few moments in silence, recognizing the voice of their little girl, who was in his older brother's arms.  
Y/N chewed on her lips to force herself not to answer that call and Norman's eyes shone in the sunlight, sending her even further into another world.  
They were dazed by the words just spoken, by the intertwining of their voices or perhaps only by the ethereal atmosphere that was breathed in the circle, in which all the people most dear to them were gathered.  
Norman heard his mother's sobs behind him and clearly saw the emotion of Y/N's mother too, who was near her daughter.  
Norman forced himself to speak clearly, while the sound of the music made him feel like on another planet, far away.  
He cleared his throat, focusing on Y/N's excited face.

"I, Norman Mark Reedus, take you, Y/N Y/L/N, as my bride. I solemnly promise to love you. I will comfort you, I will respect you, I will love you and I will defend you in health and sickness, in riches and in poverty, in joy and in pain, to remain beside you until death will separate us. All these things I promise you in honor."

Y/N made an incredible effort not to burst into tears and it took her a few moments before she could finally talk.

"I, Y/N Y/L/N, take you, Norman Mark Reedus, as my husband. I solemnly promise to love you. I will comfort you, I will respect you, I will love you and I will defend you in health and sickness, in riches and in poverty, in joy and in pain, to remain beside you until death will separate us. All these things I promise you in honor."

"Now the rings..."

Jeffrey woke up as if from a dream and with somewhat awkward gestures, he found the box and approached the couple.  
He opened it with a studied and solemn gesture, waiting for the Priest's disgusted reaction, which did nothing but show off a smile in front of the two skulls and proceeded with the blessing.

"Love given freely does not begin and has no end, there is no one who gives it and who receives it, as each one gives and everyone receives. May these rings remind you of the vows you have made today."

Norman took the small diamond skull with uncertain hands and felt Y/N's hand tremble slightly in his.

"This ring is the symbol of my love and my fidelity, and with all that I am and all that I possess, I honor you and give you my heart and my life."

He put his faith on Y/N's finger and saw her lower her face, as if to hide the great joy she was feeling.  
She was so beautiful in the classic white wedding dress that she left her shoulders bare and made her look almost like a queen.

Norman was convinced that he would be ready by the time he turned around and saw her walking next to her father, the image of her in that dress a few days before hadn't left him for days and nights. But no, this time she presented herself with a completely different dress, confirming the fact that maybe a little surprise didn't hurt that much.  
And now she was there, right next to him, with those red lips, which he couldn't resist, and her eyes of an almost transparent Y/E/C, which Norman was convinced he had never seen before. The slightly visible belly was caressed by the veil of white silk, which the light breeze of the morning made it move like in a dream.  
He felt her shudder for a moment, before looking up and seeking confirmation in those eyes. His Y/N, the 'Miss Insecurity', needed even now a little encouragement.  
Norman pressed himself slightly to her, putting his arm around her, while holding out his other hand.

"This ring is the symbol of my love and my loyalty, and with all that I am and all that I possess, I honor you and give you my heart and my life."

The woman's voice was barely perceptible, probably only he could feel it and this made them feel even more united.  
The Priest waited a few moments, leaving them to their emotions, before uttering the final blessing in a clear and solemn voice.

"Now that you Norman and you Y/N have promised your loyalty to one another, by giving and receiving these rings in front of your family and the community, in accordance with the powers conferred on me by the State of New York, I declare you husband and wife! You can kiss the bride now."

Norman didn't have to repeat it twice and hugged Y/N, only for a moment their eyes met before their lips joined, and then they finally saw each other: they were husband and wife.  
The applause and screams of friends were mixed with the music.  
Now the festivities began, there was already a huge buffet waiting for them inside a pavilion completely covered with flowers and presents.  
Norman turned around and saw Mingus' smile and excitement, leaving his siter free to run towards their parents.  
He had waited such a long time to take that step but now everything was absolutely perfect.


	128. Chapter 123

His brown eyes pierced Y/N's and forced her to back away.  
One step and another and she found herself trapped, stuck between the wall of the house and the man's powerful body, which now towered over her.

"You'll pay for it, Negan!"  
She spat out those words with all the contempt she was capable of but the smile on the man's face made the blood run cold in her veins.

"Are you still fooling yourself that your group will come to save you? Didn't you understand that they don't care about you? Yet I thought you were smarter..."

His face came dangerously close to the woman's lips.

"Think of how many things we could accomplish together. We belong together... You and I... We are the same."

The woman tried to rebel at the touch of those hands, which now lingered on the delicate skin of her décolleté, before rising to tighten her throat.

"I don't give a fuck about you!", she groaned, feeling the man's hot breath on her lips.

"Oh really? Well, in this case... If I can't have you, Daryl and the others won't either."

It seemed like a terrible twist of fate had put her in the same position, in which she had put her beloved group, only a few weeks earlier.  
But sudden cough made the man jump, forcing him to slightly loosen his grip.

"What do you want Negan? What?"  
The lightning in the woman's eyes had returned to that of the usual unscrupulous woman but she was still stuck with her back to the wall and her heart was beating wildly.

"Is it so hard to imagine?"  
The man's lips opened in an evil smile when he realized he had already won.  
"Well... Now I see that we begin to reason..."

He moved away a few centimeters and took a couple of cigarettes from his pocket to slip one between the woman's lips. Now it was time to talk about business...

"Hey, hey... No! No! Stop! Stop!"  
That sudden cry rose from the back of the set, forcing Jeffrey and Y/N to freeze.  
Just a couple of seconds later and the man was already by her side to tear the still-unlit cigarette away from her lips.

"What the fuck? Norman, are you serious?"

Greg Nicotero was only a few inches away from the two actors and now he was about to throw the camera to the ground.

"You can't make her smoke! Damn Y/N, you should know it!"

Jeffrey and Y/N were still incredulous and confused, unable to go out on command from their characters to understand the absurdity of that situation.  
Greg was exasperated when he roared with all the breath he had in his body.  
"It was good! Norman it was good! The atmosphere! Do you know how long it took me to get that shot? But no, you have to get everything ruined!"

Norman looked at the ground, where the cigarette now crumbled under his boots.  
Had he exaggerated?  
He felt Y/N's furious gaze on him and prayed for some miracle to happen.

"Norman!"

It was clear that no one would save him now and Greg's sly expression told him that he was now really in trouble.

"Really Norman? Did you really do that?"

The woman's eyes had turned dark and by now everyone knew that when this happened, there was nothing good lurking. Y/N was only a few centimeters away from him and looked at him exactly in the eyes, making him feel a little scared.

"Okay, I'm sorry... But you can't smoke in your condition! You simply can't!"

Norman pulled his hair back, betraying his nervousness. He had just deliberately ruined a scene of his wife, never in life would he have imagined being reduced to that.

"I'm working! It was the fourth time we were shooting it... The fourth! I would have only turned it on, I didn't mean to smoke it! You don't have a minimum of respect, that's it!" 

He saw her walk away, avoiding tripping over the camera cables.

"Fuck...", he whispered to himself, narrowing his eyes.

"If someone had made such a number during one of your scenes, you would have eaten them alive..."

Norman scratched his head with embarrassment, meeting Jeffrey's eyes and nodding.

"What are you doing here anyway? Today you don't have to shoot any scenes."

"Nothing... I used to drive by and I thought I'd come around and have a look. I'm still one of the actors!"

"You came to check on Y/N, that's all. Can't you just manage to stay home for half a day?", Jeffrey laughed and rolled his eyes.

Greg had studied everything down to the last detail, he had set up every scene so as to allow Y/N to act with him, without Norman's gaze on them, knowing how much she was put in awe by her husband. And instead Norman had ruined everything, presenting himself like a policeman on the set.

"You all could have changed that scene..."

Nicotero laughed and Jeffrey nodded to his friend to come closer and Norman obeyed.  
They glanced towards the crew, seeing that Y/N was with her make-up artist doing some finishing touches. It wouldn't have been easy to be forgiven this time.

"Okay... I'm sorry, honey... I shouldn't have done this..."

Y/N sighed, trying to calm herself down. "No, you shouldn't have! And what about our daughter? Did you leaver her alone?"

"She is with my mother... You left at six this morning, I thought you might like to have lunch together... You'll be tired..."

"I'm not tired, Norman! Did you get tired with all this pressure? You should have taken our daughter to the pediatrician, we agreed that today was your turn. I can't stand for your mother to do it!"

"Look, she-...", Norman tried to react.

"Don't even try it!"  
Y/N silenced him again and turned her back to him, going to sit in the director's chair, a few meters away.

Nicotero followed the actress with his eyes and then decided to address the entire crew.  
"Okay guys, let's have a break! Let's continue this afternoon."

"Are you happy now, Norman?"

The man approached, hearing the woman's disappointed exclamation.  
"No... I'm not."

Fortunately, Jeffrey came to his aid.  
"Don't worry Y/N... I didn't even notice that we had been shooting for so long. We all need a break! Especially you."

Now Norman felt officially guilty. He knew how much Y/N was struggling to keep her commitment, despite the discovery of her pregnancy.  
After more than a year of discussions, they had succeeded in fulfilling their dream of producing the next shooting of 'The Walking Dead' and as ist was almost always the case in these cases, the protagonist's pregnancy had not been considered a problem for filming. There were a myriad of tricks to hide it, from clothes, to other shots, to stand-ins. But now that the weeks went by and the children had become two instead of one, things were getting more complicated for Y/N.  
Jeffrey smiled at her, holding out his hand and Y/N stood up with a much less happy expression than his.

"All right let's go now."

They greeted each other with a nod and Norman put his arm around his wife's shoulders, walking toward the exit of the set.

"No canteen today Madam Reedus!", he finally told her as he greeted some of the others.

"Oh, really? And where do you want to go?"

"You're perfect for the place I'll take you..."

"Norman please... You know I hate riddles!"

"No riddles... Please Madame!"  
He opened the door for her and got behind the wheel.

It was nice to be able to go around without the driver and all that crowd of people. It was nice to behave like a normal man, happy to go get his wife to work to take her out to lunch. They were strange sensations for him, so used to living a life over the top practically since forever.

"But where are you taking me? We only have a couple of hours!"  
Y/N looked out of the window with increasing concern.

"Don't worry... We are soon there. Oh, I almost forgot!"  
Norman rose slightly from the car seat, to rummage in his torn jeans pocket. He extracted the two small skulls, which had been exchanged only a few weeks before.

"You know we can't keep them on set...", the woman justified herself, taking the rings and putting one on her ring finger.

"Sure... Do you know where I found yours?"

Norman had the same expression that he showed when he scolded his son and Y/N answered him sufficiently, knowing already that he would make her feel distracted.

"No Norman. I don't know... Just tell me, since you can't wait!"

The atmosphere was definitely not the best right now...


	129. Chapter 124

"I found it among the dirty clothes of our daughter! Can you tell me what the hell it was doing there?"

"How the hell do I know? It probably fell down from the changing table! Damn it! Is it possible that my hand has swollen that much?"

She showed him her swollen and reddened finger with a distressed look.

"Let me see..."  
With infinite patience he managed to take the ring off her, putting it back in his jeans pocket.

"Look, I mean that I will put it back on when those two are born! Come on now... Let's calm down!"

They now had arrived at a decadent building, which Y/N was convinced she had only seen in some B-movies, with the black gate and the huge colored windows.  
Norman opened the door for her and Y/N found herself looking around confused. She was sure she had never been there, yet they had only traveled a few blocks from the set.  
Norman fumbled with a strange gray contraption, which didn't seem like a remote control, but in the end the huge railings opened with a sinister noise and he bowed with satisfaction.

"What is this?"  
Y/N took a few tentative steps along the entrance path covered with gravel and brushwood.

"A house I guess..."

"I see this Norman... But... Are you sure it's not haunted? You know I'm afraid of these things. I am impressed easily by those buildings and now it is not the case..."

Norman stood in front of her, realizing she was about to return to the car.  
"It's not haunted! Don't be a coward. Come on... Come on, I'll show you!"

Y/N followed him, letting herself be pulled by the hand.

"There will be a place for a pond and behind it we will have a pool, a vegetable garden and of course an old and huge greenhouse, where you can spend all the time you want! There will be a bit of work to do but it will look new again, it will look as it used to! Old but perfect!"

"Did you buy it? Did you buy a damn house?"

Y/N didn't know whether to laugh or to be angry. By now she had given up the idea of letting him buy a House.

"It's not just another home! This is your house! Look don't you think it's perfect? Ten minutes from the set, as many rooms as we want, a huge garden where our children can play without being disturbed... We are close to everything and at the same time it will be easier to stay away from people's prying eyes."

His wife looked at him in amazement, as she was about to open the front door, not knowing what to answer right now.  
There was nothing sinister in that immense salon with warm tones and elegant brocades. Y/N immediately felt at ease, listening to her own footsteps that echoed on the marble floor.

"Of course we will have to make some changes. I hate this walls. We could personalize them together."

Norman opened the old piano, playing a couple of notes.  
Y/N sighed, looking at the precious paintings on the walls and the heavy curtains on the windows. Those would have disappeared instantly.

"So? What do you think about it?", the man smiled spreading his arms.

As soon as he saw that house for sale, he knew it was perfect for Y/N.  
The woman approached, taking his face with both hands.  
He replied with his bad boy expression, which he would never lose.  
"Do you like it?"

"Oh yes... I love it! I want rugs... Rugs everywhere! And I want all my vinyls... And the rooms for the kids, they'll be great. They will have a tree house and Mingus will be able to throw a lot of parties... And yes, I will have my greenhouse!"

It was really a new beginning for them, it was like breaking away from the past and becoming one life, one project.

"But it will take a lot of time."

"Oh no, don't think that... I've already thought of everything. For spring everything will be ready, probably we will already be here when the children are born."

"Really?"

Perhaps he had never seen Y/N's eyes looking so dreamy and excited. She continued to make her gaze wander, moving it from the huge fireplace to the light marble staircase, which led to the upper floor.

"Come on... Now I'll show you something!"

Norman took her hand, leading her up the stairs. He had to force himself not to run, adapting his gait to that of his wife but he was too exited.

"Calm down Norman!"

When she arrived upstairs, she was enchanted by the spectacle of that enormous corridor, covered with antique tapestries with oriental designs.  
But Norman didn't really give her time to look around and dragged her to the end of the corridor, towards a finely carved wooden door. He opened it with a decisive gesture, leaving her open-mouthed.

"Oh Norman..."

There was no doubt, that this was their bedroom.  
Y/N couldn't believe her eyes.   
In the center of the room, an enormous four-poster bed stood out, covered with very fine velvet curtains and in one corner an old gramophone, one of the kind she had always dreamed of, was barely visible. In the light of the fireplace Norman now lit some candles looking at her, waiting for a final reaction.


	130. Chapter 125

"So?"

"Oh Norman... I don't know... I don't know what to say! It's fantastic! It's... I can't believe it yet!"

Norman handed her a glass of water, standing beside her in front of the fireplace.

"It's our home now!", he merely said with a sigh, before getting lost in his wife's eyes and toasting with her to a new beginning.

"And now... Let's sit down at the table!"

"But we don't have all this time! I have to go back to the set soon..."

"We have all the time we need... Come on!"  
He invited her to sit down, with his irresistible smirk.

Norman put the plate in front of his wife, who replied with a grimace of disgust.

"Oh no... Vegetables again?"

"What? Come on Y/N, don't start with this story again! Resign yourself, you must eat them."

"But I don't like it..."

Norman looked up, sitting down on his chair in front of her.  
Not even he was crazy about the vegetables but he couldn't do anything about it, that was the diet that Y/N had to follow and he also tried to follow it with her together.

"This this looks like a sole of your boots! Please let me eat something else."

Norman looked around, seeing only bread and some fruits.  
"And what?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sorry my lady, but the kitchen is already closed!", he teased her, encouraging her with a nod to eat.

A resigned pout replied.  
Y/N began to eat the vegetables with an incredible slowness and Norman began to eat in turn, occasionally throwing some amused glances towards her.

"I just don't understand, with our daughter you weren't so capricious!"

"It was her who wasn't so capricious... And I wasn't so tired!"

"Only a couple of weeks more and then you can rest."

"Let's hope so... They'll give us a hard time, you'll see!"  
She looked down at her belly with a half smile, before returning to meet her husband's eyes.  
"So, did you think about the names?"

Norman was slightly taken aback by the question and took a sip of water before wiping his lips.  
"I thought of choosing them together..."

Y/N remained silent and continued to look at him, without hinting to move.  
"No, I told you that you need to choose them this time!"

Norman settled himself better in his chair and started to drum with his fingers on the tablecloth.  
They had talked about the names, they had done it since they discovered the sex of the twins, and Y/N kept insisting that he should choose the names.  
But the problem was that Norman had already chosen those names, he had chosen them before he knew he would become a father again, they had been buzzing around his head for years and he never thought he could finally use them someday.  
He cleared his throat, took another sip of water, and immediately regretted it.

"Okay... It's strange, I had never thought of other names after Mingus... So I always knew that another son would be called like my father or like me. But two other males?"

Y/N smiled at him, she knew how happy and proud he was of that discovery, even if Norman would never have confessed it to her openly. They would have two boys, two small hurricanes that would have made life difficult and beautiful at the same time.  
Norman cleared his throat again and continued.

"There were people... Some special people in my past, two men who in their own way helped me find myself at a particularly difficult time."

He forced himself to look up at her and realized that she probably had already understood, although he had never told her about that time.

"In a different way they taught me what the important things are. They taught me the value of justice, of family."

He rose from his chair, approaching her and kneeling beside her chair. He stroked her belly, knowing exactly where his children were.

"C/N and C/N..." (Characters Name; choose whatever names you want for the two boys.)

Y/N's face opened in a moved smile, she wouldn't hold back the tears.  
She knew they would be fantastic, she knew that Norman was a man of extraordinary sensitivity and could feel all the emotion at that moment.

"They are perfect! Perfect..."  
She pulled him close to kiss him gently.

Norman focused again on her belly, smiling a little embarrassed at that moment of weakness.

"Now it remains to understand who C/N will be and who C/N."

Y/N had no doubt about it and, taking his hand, placed it in turn on both children.

"Oh it's easy. C/N is this one here, ready to go out and smash everything. And C/N is surely the toughest one, a little rebel."

"So you agree?", he asked her again with less apprehension.

"Of course!", his wife answered him while he returned to sit in his chair.


	131. Author's Note

A/N: To be honest... I expected a little more feedback at least for the last chapters; I probably overestimate myself, but I put a lot of time in it and was particularly keen on knowing what you think...  
I kind of find this situation frustrating, in which I see that people still read this story and some do it since the start and you never tell me anything. If you don't like it, that's totally fine, but at least let me know why...

Yet I love ya'll, don't forget that!

~ Kate


	132. Chapter 126

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Something is about to happen...

"Was it good?"

"Sure!"

Norman breathed a sigh of relief, receiving a pat on the back from Melissa.  
It seemed that that day did not want to end, there had been mishaps, changes of ladder, even one of his crossbows had decided to break, interrupting the shooting for at least half an hour.

"Come on, go home... You look dead already!"

"Well, that's the trick!", he smiled at her, with a tired look.

Yes, it was the trick but also the sleepless nights he spent trying to put his daughter to sleep, who seemed quite upset the last time and woke up, always calling for her parents.  
The shooting of Y/N had ended since a couple of days and finally the moment had arrived for her to relax and take care of herself.  
Norman tried hard not to be apprehensive, but the waiting time for the two children was unnerving him more than the other time and the fact of having to spend all his days on the set away from home certainly didn't help him to be more calm.

"What do you think?"  
He stood next to Nicotero, who was studying the newly recorded images.

"It's good!"

"Yes, yes... I trust your words. Now I'm going to take this stuff off though."

They both walked towards the makeup room, where he could finally get rid off the dirt in his face.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"  
Norman looked confused at his driver, not remembering asking for his presence that evening.

"I accompanied Y/N... Didn't you have to go and help with the work at the house? We knew it for days."

"Oh yes... Shit! I had completely forgotten about it!"

"That happens when we get older!"  
Danai passed by him just at that moment, touching his shoulder and showing him one of her smiles.

"Okay... I'll change and go to her. Where is she now?"

The driver looked around a bit lost. He would never get used to all those people pulling cables and moving equipment around for thousands of dollars.

"Well, I don't know. She was looking for you! I went to get a cup of coffee. The car is back here, when you are ready just call me."  
That said he took his leave with an unlikely military salute, to return to his precious car.

Norman then entered the makeup room with Jeffrey who was now next to his side too and both began to strip off their characters, to regain their original appearance.  
The actor was still struggling with his clothes, when his bodyguard made his entrance, with a worried expression.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been waiting for Y/N for at least forty minutes but I can't find her anymore! I thought she was here with you."

Norman and Jeffrey smiled and Nicotero intervened.  
"Oh, it's normal. She always manages to disappear in less opportune moments!"

"Did you look in the bathroom? When you don't know where to find her, you can be sure she will be there."

This time it was Norman who spoke, knowing full well that Y/N could no longer hold out for more than an hour without peeing.  
But the bodyguard gave him an obvious look. How could he think he'd entered the women's room to look for her?

"Well then, I'll go now!"  
Jeffrey stood up, walking down the corridor but returned.

While striving to appear serene, Norman began to be slightly worried. Y/N was not one that went unnoticed, especially now.  
He picked up the mobile phone and tried to call her, without getting any answer.

"Nothing?", Jeffrey asked, reading his mind.

Norman shook his head, looking around puzzled. Where could she be?  
But maybe she was back in the car.  
He tried to call the driver but that track also proved to be in vain.

"Okay, I'm going to ask the others."  
Jeffrey had become serious as he retraced his steps, stopping anyone he met, to ask for information.

"Come on Norman, she can't be away. Who knows, maybe with the cleaning lady, talking to her! You know how Y/N is!", Nicotero tried to reassure him, seeing him dial his wife's number again.

Jeffrey's face suddenly changed it's expression, snapping for attention.

"What's up?"

"Don't you hear it?", he said, raising a finger to the corridor.

Norman and the bodyguard looked at each other, but both could not hear anything different from the clamor of the technicians.  
The bodyguard ran out of the room and Norman followed him, finally recognizing the well-known ringtone of Y/N's mobile phone.  
And there it was: In one corner of the outer courtyard there was the woman's purse, from which the mobile phone looked out.

"What does that mean? Where is she?"

The panic in Norman's voice made everyone's heart beating faster with fear.

"Something must have happened to her..."

But no one really knew how to respond to that pleading look.

"I don't know Norman... I left her here in the corridor. But when I went out to smoke she was gone!"

"Oh shit!"  
Norman put his hand to his mouth, trying to think but in his mind a multitude of different images crossed each other.

"Come on, don't worry!"

"Then why is her purse here?"

"We know what Y/N is like, she's a chronic careless!"

At that moment Jeffrey arrived with the security chief.  
"Nothing... He said they saw her enter but that's all. So she must still be here."

Only then did he see the purse abandoned on the ground and the mobile phone in Norman's hands.

"No. Something happened to her! She would never leave her stuff here like this... But what if she felt sick?"

He was about to give in and realized it as the seconds passed while a knot tightened in his stomach.

"Call the damn police!"

"But Norman, come on! It's a bit of an exaggeration to call the police right now, don't you think?"

Jeffrey tried to reason with him but now his friend no longer heard anything.

"And when then? When Jeffrey?"  
His face was full of anger because he felt powerless.

"There may be a simpler explanation than we think! Now let's go back and ask everyone. Someone must have seen her!"

Norman let himself be led back into the room, unable to take his eyes off Y/N's phone, which now lay silently in his hands...


	133. Chapter 127

"Then repeat it all over again, please! Did you see Mrs. Y/N Y/L/N walking out with the man you described?"

The woman looked at the police lieutenant through her sunglasses.  
"Yes... He was already outside! And then she went out too."

She was stuttering and Norman couldn't even look at her, for fear of bursting out of anger feeling her dreamy little eyes, which lingered on him.  
She was a fan, one of the usual fans who followed him everywhere, even on the set if they could, like right now.

"Did he call her?"

The woman nodded.  
"He was with us, waiting here. We were out here and we waited to see you and the others, but when he saw Y/N he suddenly said he was a big fan of her. He asked her for a picture and she went out! Then I don't know... After it, when I turned around, he was no longer behind the barricades... And Y/N probably went back on set."

"She went back? Are you sure?"

"Well, no! I didn't see her go back. But I thought so."

The lieutenant again remembered the face of the man, whom the woman had just described.  
A male, white, around 180 centimeters tall, strong build, between thirty and forty years old, perhaps brown hair but wearing a sports cap, sunglasses and an unknown little accent. It wasn't much, but always better than nothing.

"I can't believe it! A fan? Are you telling me that a fan kidnapped her?"

"No, Mr. Reedus. We can't be sure about it."

"So what? She would never leave just like that in her condition!"

The waiting was unnerving and the atmosphere of the police was even more so.  
Jeffrey put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him and spoke in his place.  
"What do you plan to do?"

"The kidnapping trail remains the main one for now. We will try to identify this man, the scientist has already started with the inspections and soon we will have the results of the samples taken. Mr. Reedus, haven't you noticed anything suspicious in the last time? Someone around the set or around your home? Is there anyone who could be angry with Y/N or with you for some reason?"

Norman denied with his head down. He couldn't think of anything right now.  
"No... I don't think so! I don't know! But why don't you do anything? We can't stay here chatting while my wife has disappeared to who knows where!"

He was upset and clung to Jeffrey's grip.

"They can't hurt her... They just can't! She's fucking pregnant! She..."

He covered his face with his hands and the lieutenant remained silent to let him vent.  
It was a very delicate situation, not to mention the media resonance that this case could have had, had they not been fast enough to solve it quickly.  
Now Norman seemed to recover a little and tried to concentrate again.

"I didn't notice anyone... We're always with our bodyguard and the driver! We see hundreds of people every day! And even around the house there could be anyone, it's huge."

"The cameras!"

The lieutenant's face suddenly lit up, turning to Jeffrey.

"How did you not think about it? Call the security chief immediately!"


	134. Chapter 128

Y/N opened her eyes in confusion.  
Where was she? It was dark now and there was only a tremendous little lamp hanging from the ceiling right next to her.  
She felt suddenly heavy, her legs struggling to hold her after all those hours, but the strings were tight on her wrists and forced her to remain motionless with her arms above her head.

"Oh good morning!"  
The mere sound of that voice behind her made her feel a wave of nausea.

"Let me sit, please!", she pleaded without receiving any reply.

She didn't know how much she had slept, probably only a few minutes, but she seemed to be a prisoner in there for an eternity.  
She had been a fool, she had done exactly what friends had always told her not to do. She was approached by a lone fan and a totally innocuous atmosphere, without saying anything to anyone. For her it was normal, she didn't feel like a star like anyone else and anyone could stop her in the street to ask her for an autograph, let alone in the movie studios or on set.  
And instead that man with an unexpected appearance, had attracted her by turning to her with the excuse of a photo, to stun her with some kind of substance and drag her beyond the barriers.  
She had no idea how she got there, she didn't even know where she was. All she knew was that she had a terrible backache and that it was already night.

"Here, eat!"

The man threw her a piece of bread on the table next to her, continuing to look at her with that psychopathic smile.

"What's up? You don't like it? Oh, our diva is fussy!"

He approached her more seriously, his hands and mouth still greasy and Y/N tried to turn away.

"I... I'm tied...", she protested, moving her head away.

"Then you won't eat!"

She saw him grab the bread and shove it into his mouth voraciously.  
Finally he returned to the table, starting to work on the dim light of the bulb again.

"Why?", she decided to ask the man, her voice trembling.

"Shut up! It doesn't matter! It's none of your business!", the man roared looking at her with those two expressionless eyes.

Y/N studied him for a few moments: His hair was slightly long. His face was covered with light freckles and his hands made her guess that he wasn't someone who had worked a lot.  
Suddenly he spoke, but it was as if he was far away, as if he was talking more with himself than with her.

"I... I just can't understand how a man like Norman Reedus could be infatuated by a woman like you! At least in the photos you looked sexy... Like a bitch maybe... But sexy. And instead, look what we got here: A fat insipid girl, neither beautiful nor hot."

He finally turned towards her, his grin had something frightening to the faint light of the lamp.  
"How do you say? Diva?"

Y/N felt her anger rising, only then realizing what was really happening.  
He wasn't a fan of her, he wasn't even one of those nerdy guys who got excited in front of nude scenes. That was a psychopath, a dangerous fan obsessed with Norman Reedus and his personal life.  
She could just see some torn pages before the man began to cut them carefully and she realized that it wasn't a photo of the actor.  
Only then did he look up and his eyes, by now accustomed to the darkness, saw the multitude of images covering the walls. Norman... Norman and his Ex... Norman and the children... Norman and his Ex-Wife. But above all Norman and his former girlfriendm The photos of him and the actress were everywhere.

"What are you doing? You won't find yourself a way out of here, if that's what you're looking for!", he hastened to scold her, following her gaze: "You are not worth anything, haven't you understood yet? And not even those two bastards in there!"

Y/N had the instinct to rebel and struggled, although she knew she couldn't break free. The idea that he wanted to hurt her children had not come to her mind at all until then.  
"Please... Please don't hurt my children! I'll do anything you want... I'll... I'll give you what you need!"

The man's face snapped up at her, almost as if she'd hit him.  
"Money? Do you think I want your fucking money?"

He got up, coming dangerously close, with scissors pointed at her.  
"I knew ist... They told me you would do it! You third-rate stars are under the illusion of solving everything with your money!"

"No! No... I didn't want to offend you... I..."  
Y/N wanted to take her eyes off of him, but she couldn't.

"Do you know what the only thing you could do for me?"  
A disquieting smile was now painted on his thin lips.

"You should disappear from the face of this earth... You should disappear from Norman's life, in fact you shouldn't even be alive."


	135. Chapter 129

He pressed the rewind button again and the images came back quickly.

"Enough Norman, you've looked at it a hundred times now!"

The bodyguard took the remote control from his hands while the images of Y/N's abduction was projected again.  
It was all documented, so visible in those grainy images. So why had no one done anything? What were the people doing if they couldn't see something like that?   
He turned off the small television and sighed, stretching.  
It was dawn, no one had slept a wink and Norman had done nothing but staying glued to that television, perhaps deluding himself that things changed from one time to another. It was as if he had the feeling that he had forgotten a piece, a small piece of the puzzle that would have solved everything.  
The police never slept, all night long a crowd of people followed, calls and they were locked inside the lieutenants office, continuing to hope for some progress in the search for the kidnapper.

"I brought you croissants and coffee..."  
Jeffrey had entered the office with a tray of steaming cups.

"Norman you should go home to your daughter!"  
Jeffrey's voice sounded familiar again. 

"No... I can't!"

"But she needs you... She can't stay with your mother all day. And then she's worried too..."

"I can't do it, okay? I can't do it, Jeffrey..."

He hid his face again. He didn't want them to see him cry, he seemed to have been unable to do anything else for hours, going from moments of despair to moments of anger.  
The bodyguard and Jeffrey remained silent, exchanging a worried look. They knew what would happen in a few minutes and even though Norman pretended nothing, he was aware of it.

"Shit!"  
The lieutenant's curses came clear even inside the office, just a few moments before he opened the door. It was really a bad atmosphere. He had spent one of the most hellish nights of his life trying to solve that case and now the journalists arrived and risked ruining all his work.  
The eyes of those present were now on him.

"I know, you warned me but I didn't think they were that fast..."

Norman hid his face again in his hands.  
Why was this happening? Why couldn't he just live his life in peace?  
Suddenly a man's voice invaded the room, coming clearly to his ears.  
It was Jeffrey who rekindled the studio television to hear what was actually leaking out of those four walls.

'According to the latest reconstructions, the actress was last seen on set, where she was shooting her latest scenes. There she would have been stunned and forcibly climbed in an unidentified vehicle. The identity of the abductor still remains a mystery. It is probably a criminal intent on asking for a ransom from the woman's husband, the famous actor Norman Reedus, from whom Y/N is expecting her second child. Y/N Y/L/N became famous for having shot numerous internationally renowned films, including starring on the TV show The Walking Dead...'

Norman had suddenly got up from the couch and threw the TV on the floor, seized with rage.

"Norman!"

"Fuck it! Those damn assholes! They talk about it like she's fucking dead!"

"Mr. Reedus, calm down, please! We don't have the power to keep the press out. We can only make sure that you and your family are protected!"

Norman looked at him scornfully. Hadn't they done enough already?  
Suddenly the tone of his voice stopped and everyone in that room stopped to listen to him.

"Thats enough! Call your men. I want them all ready! I want Mingus and his mother to move into my house right away and be monitored day and night. My daughter is with my mother. No one should dare to approach them until this whole story is over. And you don't have to say a word more, did you understand me? Not a word! I want the press to be silenced from this very moment!"

Jeffrey looked at him from a distance and found it hard to recognize the fury in the man's eyes. He had known him for such a long time and knew that the only thing not to be touched in his life was his family, but despite this, he was sure he had never seen him so wounded and resolute.  
The bodyguard didn't even answer and immediately left to get to work.  
After that outburst of authority, Norman instead seemed to collapse back onto the couch.

"What should we do now?", he asked the lieutenant with far less enthusiasm.

"Mr. Reedus, after all, the intervention of the press is not so counterproductive. Public opinions will mobilize and the identikit is already making the rounds of all the police stations of the State."

"Of the State? She may not even be any more in this State!"

"No but what does it say? Believe me they can't have gone that far in one night!"

"One night is enough..."

"No, we have monitored all the borders... They are still in the country... It remains only to understand where. If only we could trace the vehicle!"  
The lieutenant sat down again at the desk, scrolling through the stacked papers.

"Norman!"  
The screams coming from outside broke that almost unreal silence.

Norman looked out and recognized the photographers clustered along the central driveway, who started blinding him with flashes as soon as they recognized his profile.  
It was late December and at that time of morning it was still cool. He wondered where Y/N was and what she was wearing the night before.  
Jeffrey stood up and closed the shutters with a quick gesture. There was no need to take advantage of the pain of others.

"Oh Commissioner, please sit down!"

A large man had made his entrance into the lieutenant's office, who had risen from his chair.  
The Commissioner squeezed his hand with two coughs, indicating that he was a great smoker, judging by the tobacco-stained white mustache.  
He took a moment before turning to Norman, who on the other hand hadn't even got up and looked at him puzzled.

"Are you the victim's husband?"

The victim? Norman felt the blood freeze in his veins.  
The man gave no sign of having noticed his shocked expression and continued sitting on the couch right next to him, extracting a fine-looking pipe.

"So... The results of the scientific have just arrived and they have found traces of chloroform. As can be seen from the video, the kidnapper has stunned the victim and then dragged her away. Now it remains to be known if he had a car or a van. The inspection found various types of tires in that area, we are trying to narrow the field. A hundred or so reports have arrived. It seems that everyone has seen Y/N /Y/L/N with her kidnapper, but from experience we know that most of them are just mythomaniacs. For now I have sent two men, where a couple of gas stations says about having recognized him in a dark SUV."

"They could have gone north-west to the forests...", the lieutenant concluded thoughtfully. His mind was working tirelessly in search of some clue that must have escaped him.

Norman started walking back and forth in the small office like a caged animal. He was convinced that they had forgotten something. Something he himself had hidden in a corner of his brain and he could not identify.  
He sat down once more on the uncomfortable couch, starting to torture his hair like every time.

"Norman... Maybe we could make an appeal. You could..."  
Jeffrey's voice seemed almost shy at that juncture, he didn't know if he was saying anything sensible.

"An appeal?"

The commissioner spat a cloud of smoke with a cough.  
He didn't like those things, everything about the press had to stay away from him and his life. Now he wished he had listened to his wife, who had been insisting for months to let him take a few weeks off. And instead he was caught up in that colossal case.  
Yet Norman's reaction was very different from that of the commissioner.

"Yes... Yes of course... I could ask the kidnappers to free her. I could offer money and..."

"And nothing, Mr. Reedus!"

The old man said, looking at him sideways.

"But it's the only way to move things... If they want a ransom I'll pay it! I will pay any amount!"

Norman had a new determination in his eyes but the man in front of him didn't like it.

"If they want a ransom they will find a way to let you know, don't worry. And even in that case, do not be under the illusion that we will let you do such nonsense! All that possession has already been frozen to avoid this kind of madness... The relatives of the victims are always so emotional and end up combining more damage than anything else..."

This time Norman couldn't take it anymore. What was that old man trying to do, besides sitting around waiting for something to happen by magic?  
He stood up, approaching the desk threateningly.

"With what right did you get your hands on my money? You can't just block anything and if I had to pay to get my wife and children back, well then I fucking will! I won't be here waiting for a bunch of incompetents to stay locked in an office. You should be out there! My wife is in danger! She is in the hands of a madman, who at this time could-..."

He dropped the sentence in half, continuing to stare at the man without being able to really see him.  
How could he not have thought of it? How had he been so stupid?

"Orlando."

"Excuse me?"  
The lieutenant approached him, seeing him in trouble.

"Of course... Orlando…. It must have been him! Y/N would never have gone away with a stranger!"

"But we saw the videos, Norman... You would have recognized him! I really don't think that's him, he's not that stupid! It would ruin him!"

Norman couldn't believe he was so blind. That man could very well be him. Who else could have ever been angry with Y/N?  
He walked over to the TV, kneeling on the floor to try and get it back on its feet.

"No, let's look at the video again... I'm sure of it! It was him... Look at it! It can be him. That man has already tried to hurt her, he attacked her."

The commissioner got up from the chair, deciding to listen to him.  
"Okay, okay Mr. Reedus... Now calm down and tell us everything from the beginning."


	136. Chapter 130

Y/N couldn't take it anymore, she had a terrible thirst and the hours passed that that crazy man wouldn't let her go to the bathroom, leaving her standing in that room.  
By now she didn't even feel her arms anymore and her head started to hurt just like at the time of the accident. But she had to remain conscious, she could not abandon herself to fatigue right now.  
Her gaze had been fixed for hours on the table, where her captor had left his cell phone, probably since they had arrived at that place forgotten by anyone.  
She had to take it. She had to be able to get hold of it at all costs. But how?  
The man came in at that moment, with his usual dark look.  
He put a couple of envelopes on the table, not even giving her a glance.

"Please... I need to pee... I can't stand it anymore!"

She tried to eliminate any plaintive inflection in her voice, she knew it would make her even more nervous.  
The man looked at her, taking off his glasses and laughed out loud. It really must have been an atrocious spectacle, bound there in that state.

"Fuck off!", he told her more seriously, almost defying her.

Y/N didn't answer but decided to support her gaze, following her instincts. The more frightened he appeared, the more he enjoyed it.  
She saw him approach her and felt his dirty hand on her belly. She just wanted to kick him and knock him out, but she knew she wouldn't be able to break free on her own.

"But no... You are a lady, aren't you? A real lady..."  
His hand rose dangerously to her breast, to tighten then on her face, immobilizing her.  
"No, you're not a lady... A bitch, that's what you are! A bitch!"

Y/N spat in his face, leaving him puzzled.

"Oh that's it?", he finally told her with a grin, wiping her saliva off of his face.  
"You're a rebellious bitch, right? Come on then..."  
He took her by the hair, freeing the rope from the hook and letting her lower her arms still tied.  
"Let's go out!"

Y/N almost lost her balance after all those hours of immobility, but was forced to follow him being pulled by her hair. All she saw was that cell phone, which was only a few steps away from her. It would have been enough to reach out and grab it so she decided to try...  
A quick gesture and there it was firmly in her hands. Now she had a phone, but she had no idea where she could hide it.  
She found herself in the middle of the vegetation at the back of that small, leaf-covered shack. The morning sun hurt her eyes after so many hours of darkness.

"Come on, move!", the man said hastily, staying a few steps away.

Y/N took the opportunity to put the phone in the most obvious place, or in the décolleté, hoping that he wouldn't decide to to touch her there again. She tried to get dressed as best as she could, despite her tied hands and returned more docile to the shack.

"Well, get inside..."  
He pushed her into the door and Y/N immediately was pushed against the cool wall.

"Please leave me here... I can no longer stand up!"

The man looked at her carefully, lingering over her belly.  
"All right, but I won't untie you... And woe to you if you try to free yourself again!"

Having said that he returned to his table, extracting another quantity of magazines.

"I knew they would go crazy! Look here! A thousand photos of Norman... No recent ones, what a pity!"

He was a fool. Only a fool could enjoy such a thing: To kidnap his idol's wife, to see the photos getting published.  
She must have fallen asleep because she was suddenly awakened by a light blow, which turned out to be the man's shoe.

"Hey, wake up! I have to do a couple of errands before nightfall... You... Well, needless to tell you not to move!"

Y/N pretended to be more dazed than she really was and just hoped that he didn't see the cell phone hidden in the middle of her breast.

"Don't worry about screaming... Nobody will hear you!"

The door closed with a thud and she remained there, alone in the dark and tied up.  
How could she reach the phone?  
She studied the room for a long time, looking for any tool that would allow her to cut or at least loosen the strings. And finally here they were, just where her captor had left them, there were the still sharp scissors with which he had threatened her only a few hours before.  
She tried with huge effort to get back on her feet and with her back to the table she finally took the object of her salvation. She pulled with all her strength, praying that her wrists would resist and finally there it was. Her hand was free and only a few seconds later they were both.  
She immediately pulled out the phone and turned it on with trembling hands, praying that she could call for help.


	137. Chapter 131

Norman had his head leaning badly against the wall. He had succumbed to fatigue but he did not want to sleep.  
The sound of the mobile phone now startled him and he looked around bewildered, unable to understand where he was. He pulled out the phone and noticed with disappointment that it wasn't his.  
At the same time all the excitement in the office seemed to stop suddenly and only the insistent rhythm of the music remained to reverberate between the four walls.  
It was Y/N's phone.  
It could have been anyone, it could have been her mother too, as far as they knew, but they didn't have to miss any possible clue.  
Norman waited for the policeman behind the computer monitor to nod at him and decided to answer.

"Ready."  
His voice was low and set, not knowing what to expect.

"Norman!"

He could barely understand his own name between sobs and suddenly his expression changed.

"Y/N? Y/N darling where are you? What did he do to you? Just tell me you're okay!"

"I... I don't know... In a forest... I-..."  
The connection was too disturbed. Norman wanted to throw that phone against the wall.

"Y/N! I can't hear you. Y/N?"

"-...a shed..."

"A shed? Where is it? Tell me what do you see?"

"Hey! What are you doing!"  
That unknown voice forced her to stop.

Norman's eyes widened, holding his breath.

"Y/N?", he heard himself say without even recognizing his voice, as he saw the frightened expression on the faces of those present, who were listening to the hands-free call.

The office was now invaded by the screams of the man and the moans of Y/N, who tried to defend herself.  
The phone call stopped abruptly and Norman remained motionless in the middle of the room, unable to recover from his dismay.  
Jeffrey approached him a few steps with the fear of touching him, but it was enough for the man's frightened eyes to look into his, to make him give up.

"He was... Did you hear that? Oh god, he... Was he?"

He couldn't say it, he couldn't pronounce the words. That madman was beating her and he was forced to listen without being able to do anything to defend her.  
He took only a couple of steps, looking for the wall to keep from falling.

"Hey no... No Mr. Reedus! You can't give up now!"  
The old commissioner went to help the man to hold him up just in time, before Norman felt himself falling. He slapped him slightly and repeatedly with his hands.

"Norman... Keep drinking this! You haven't eaten since yesterday too..."  
Jeffrey forced him to throw down a sip of too sweetened coffee, which he almost spit out.

"Here we go, I've got him!"  
The policeman's voice towered over them and forced them to turn towards the desk.

"We have the phone to which the call has been hooked. North West... National Forest."

Those words were enough to make him resume.   
Norman clung to the man's jacket, who was already running towards the door.

"I'm coming with you!"

"No, don't even think about it. Do you know what's going on out here? You will remain locked in here."

"Put me in a cell then, come on! Throw me in a cage, because you can't do anything to keep me away! My wife and my two children are out there and I won't be in here waiting for some journalist to ask me if they are still alive or dead! So you decide if you want to take me in the police car or if you prefer me to move with my guards, taking with me all the squadron of paparazzi out here!"

The lieutenant's voice caught their attention, forcing them to interrupt that discussion, which could have gone on for centuries.

"Come on... Don't make a scene!"  
They saw him enter the office followed by two agents and a familiar-looking man.

"Can I at least know what I'm accused of?"  
Orlando looked like a ghost, with that frightened expression of someone who had been awakened at dawn.

When their eyes met, Norman suddenly returned to their meeting in the airport bathroom two years earlier.   
The two agents made him sit in rude ways, ordering him to keep quiet, while the actor looked for explanations in the expression of the people he already knew.  
It was the commissioner who set him free from anguish.

"We wanted to ask you a few questions about the abduction of Y/N Y/L/N but now..."

Orlando opened his eyes wide, turning immediately to Norman.  
"Y/N? Did they kidnap Y/N?"

Norman looked down, closing his eyes without even having the courage to nod. Now he knew that Orlando had nothing to do with it, that that bastard was still out there somewhere and that he was hurting Y/N at that very moment.

"Yes, we have just received a call from him and we have identified the mobile phone... There is no time to lose! I'm sorry, Mr. Bloom, for having involved you, but we had to sift through all available tracks."

The commissioner was in a hurry to take leave and hoped that Norman was too shaken by that meeting to remember what he had just said.  
Orlando remained motionless in the chair, sliding his gaze over those present. He had not yet metabolized the news and certainly did not expect to be an 'available track'. He who had returned for just two weeks and had had the terrible misfortune of being in the city without a good enough alibi.  
Finally he turned to Norman, who seemed even more confused than he was: On one hand he was ashamed for having involved him even if he was innocent and on the other he was even more desperate, unable to put a face on his wife's kidnapper.

"Norman, did you really think I could do something like that?"

Orlando seemed shocked at the idea and Norman didn't even have the courage to raise his face to face him.  
"I don't know Orlando... I don't even know... After what happened last year..."

He finally looked him in the eye and Orlando felt himself shiver.  
"No... No, you can't think that! That was a mistake! I didn't do anything, I assure you. I love Y/N, I loved her..."

Norman knew that was the truth, he and Orlando knew each other by now.  
He picked up his leather jacket, heading for the office door and paused only an instant with his hand still on the handle. He didn't know whether to give voice to his thoughts or to remain silent. Now everything had so little importance in the face of the tragedy he was experiencing.  
Finally he made up his mind and turned around again, laying an unreadable look on the face of his former rival.

"I know Orlando... I know how you feel about her... I know you loved her and you still love her... But I can't-..."

He looked down at his shoes before deciding to continue.

"I can't forgive you for what you did to her, do you understand? And if we weren't in this situation, I swear on what is dearest to me, that I would make you pay for that right here, right now! But not now... Not now..."

He dropped those words in the dead silence, which had fallen into the office and decided to open the door.

"So commissioner, do you want to move?"


	138. Chapter 132

Now Y/N was really scared. She was lying on the ground, her hands tied behind her back and her mouth closed with adhesive tape.  
Her captor had gone out again, he probably would have come back and taken her out of there, since it was no longer a safe hideout.  
She didn't even know what he had done to her, the only important thing was that she had managed to protect her children from the beatings of that madman.  
She knew Norman would save her, she knew he would make it.  
But the more hours passed, the more fear took over her.  
She felt weaker and weaker, hungry, and her head buzzed alarmingly. If only she could change her position, but tied up like that she could do nothing.  
Perhaps it would have been better not to provoke him, perhaps she would have only had to wait a couple of days and he would have softened. But it was too late to think about those things, she had tried and failed. Now she just had to trust Norman and hope he arrived before it was too late.

She heard the door slam and recognized the heavy footsteps of her captor.  
"Get up, bitch. We'll be leaving soon!"

He pulled her head up, grabbing her hair again.

"It's all your fault... You know that?"  
He left her with contempt and concentrated on his walls full of photos: He certainly wasn't intent on letting them rot in there. He began to remove them one by one, placing them in an old box.

Y/N couldn't see it, but she recognized the sound of the pins jumping off the wood and the man's curses whenever a photo tore.  
Suddenly there was a great commotion outside the garage and Y/N held her breath.  
The man looked out the window.  
"Shit!"

"We know you're in there. Get out with your hands up and no harm will be done to you!"  
The voice through the megaphone sounded clear to both ears.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the tears starting to fall uncontrollably down her cheeks, but at that moment the man's grip forced her to rise, although she tried to wriggle away.

"Oh no my dear... You won't get away with it! Look! Look what you did!", he snarled at her ear, tugging at her as he kicked open the wooden door.

Y/N felt herself faint when she recognized the cold of a gun barrel beneath her chin, but that man held her closer to him, preventing her from falling.  
  
"Y/N!"  
The commissioner struggled to keep him in the car. Norman just wanted to run to that damn door and kill him with his bare hands.

"We don't need heroes! This is not a movie!", the commissioner merely told him in a voice that was too calm, as if it were a seen and revised situation.

Perhaps it was for him, but Norman had before his eyes the last scene he would ever want to see.

"Go away, otherwise I swear I'll kill her!"  
The man's voice was full of anger but also of fear, after all he knew it was the end of the journey for him.

"Don't fool yourself and everything will be fine. Throw the weapon on the ground, now!"

There were at least twenty guns aimed at him and the grip around the woman's throat tightened, as if using her as a shield.

"No... You, you throw your weapons on the ground! I... I swear I'll do it! I'll do it!"

The words were now high-pitched cries and Y/N heard him load the gun.  
He was doing it, she would die.  
Her thoughts went to those two little creatures, who fought inside her and prayed that some miracle would at least allow their salvation.  
Her eyes searched desperately for Norman's, behind the car's windshield. She knew he was there, she knew he would see her for the last time.  
Norman saw the terror in her eyes and made up his mind. He couldn't wait any longer, he couldn't stay in that car to watch the end of his family.  
Only a moment later and the commissioner saw him slip away from his hands.

"No! Shit! Damn it!"

Norman got out of the car leaving everyone stone-faced, especially the kidnapper.

"Here I am! It's me you want, isn't it like that? It is me you are looking for!"

He knew that that man was a fan of him and realized that he was the same pale man, who followed him on his set trips almost everywhere. The same one that had given him hundreds of drawings made by him over the last fifteen years.  
The policemen passed their puzzled looks from him to the face of the lieutenant, who nodded resignedly, giving the order to lower his arms, while Norman approached the shed step by step.  
He could not take his eyes off the barrel of the gun, which was pointed just below his wife's disfigured face.

"Norman... No, don't get close!"

The man's voice was more hesitant now that he was face to face with his greatest myth.  
Y/N stared at him in terror, shaking her head. Norman could read her eyes, he could see that she asked him not to do it.

"Hey, why are you doing this?", he asked, staring at him and trying to play his part better.

"I... I do it for you..."

"No, you don't do it for me! I would never want such a thing. I hate violence, you should know it!"

The man seemed struck by his deep and quiet voice.

"It's just that I can't... I can't keep seeing you with this-..."  
The man couldn't even finish the sentence, he had tears in his eyes.

"She is my wife..."

"No! No, she's not your wife! You know who your wife is! You love each other!"

Norman took a deep breath, continuing to approach with caution. He felt his heart beating wildly but he had to stay cool. He did not expect to hear that, he did not expect that madman to be so unpolished as to bring up his private life.  
He tried to find the right words so as not to touch some wrong feelings, nothing would have been enough to make the situation precipitate.

"Her and I tried, but it didn't work! I loved her, really man, I loved her... But now I have to go on, I have to do what makes me happy. Now, give me that gun... Give it to me..."

The man did not move and only pressed the weapon against Y/N's skin, who began to cry again in silence.

"No... I want him to go! She... She bewitched you, you just don't see it..."

Norman stopped, raising his hands in surrender. Only a few meters separated them now.  
"Okay... Okay, you're right. But have you thought about our children? Have you thought about the little girl we have at home who is waiting for her mother? Did you see her? Would you ever do that to Mingus too?"

He knew he hit the mark. Whoever loved Norman also loved his children.  
The man seemed to give in, making the actor's confused gaze wander to the cops, who watched the scene helplessly. The only being in the world, for whom it was worth living was right in front of him and looked at him with understanding and friendship.  
He loosened his grip around Y/N and she struggled immediately, freeing herself from his grip.  
The man's reaction to that move was as immediate as it was unexpected.  
It all happened in a second: The man fired a shot towards her and at the same time the police men moved quickly towards the shed, hitting him on both legs and making him fall to the ground.  
Y/N found herself on the ground in the midst of that crossfire and only when the roar gave way to silence did she notice that she was in Norman's arms. There was blood everywhere and she couldn't stop crying. She didn't even know if she was injured. It was all so deafening, the shots, the screams, all those feet that ran inside to immobilize the man on the ground.  
Norman pulled her away, taking her face in his hands.

"Are you hurt? Y/N, are you hurt?"

She was screaming to make herself recover from the shock, but she couldn't realize what was really happening.

"Can you hear me?"

Now he was studying her from head to toe, trying to figure out where all that blood was coming from.

"No... I'm not hurt! No...", she finally replied, hiding in his arms. "Oh god, it's you... Norman you're bleeding!"

The sleeve of his shirt was soaked with blood and only then did Norman realize the burning in his right arm, the same one who had been injured only a few months earlier on the set.

"It's nothing... The bullet only touched me! But look how he beat you... How could he do that to you?"

Y/N struggled to smile despite her swollen lip, while her husband freed her hands from the rope.  
"No, it's okay. It's just the face... He only hit my face! I don't need that now!"

She held back a groan as the man touched her swollen cheekbone.  
He placed his hand on her belly and immediately recognized the children's movements.

"They're fine... It's all over, Norman!", Y/N tried to reassure him and it was absurd that she did it, while distant ambulance sirens began to be heard.

"Come on... Can you walk?"

Y/N struggled to get up, while Norman supported her and led her to the car.

"Stay here Mrs. Reedus, the ambulance is coming now!"

They wrapped her in a blanket, handing her a cup of water.  
There was a great commotion now, lights, screams, doctors, forensics and the scream of sirens everywhere.

"Norman.."

"Tell me... What's up? Do you feel bad?"

Y/N's face was serious and pale despite the showy bruises and the man couldn't help but worry even more.

"Actually I think I'll die if can't pee in the next minutes."

At those words Norman burst out laughing, holding her tight against him and let a tear escape his eyes. 


	139. Chapter 133

Y/N saw the nurses face blush and regretted her comment. It must not have been easy to find oneself at that time of night, locked in an emergency room armored by dozens of people. Norman saw the bodyguard's face through the small glass in the middle of the door and motioned for him to enter.

"So? Y/N?", he asked him point-blank, starting to feel the well-known tingling down his injured arm. "Shit! What is the doctor's job here, being a butcher?"

Fortunately, the bullet had only smeared him, leaving him a gap where the old scar was still healing. There was no doubt, the fate of that damn right arm was marked.

"They're still visiting."

"Damn son of a-...", he barely said.

He still couldn't believe that the madman had dared to lay his hands on a pregnant woman and still wondered how he himself had kept his cool while he approached him and saw him threaten his wife. It had to be the force of despair, the same one that pushed Y/N to risk her life to call him.  
A grimace of disgust painted itself on the actor's face.

"I should go to that room now..."

"I know Norman... Calm down though, everything went well!"

Norman shook his head.  
The bodyguard glanced at the doctor's work, which he was already suturing with almost maniacal precision and moved away immediately.

"Hey, don't try it... You don't want to faint right now that we need you! I don't want them to come in, you understand me? Not even a frightened child, who asks for an autograph. I don't want gifts for the twins, I don't want anything at all! I just want them to do their business once and for all. And Y/N... I don't care how many agents or policemen are already on duty... I don't trust them! Look what they did..."

Norman turned his attention back to the wound and his friend nodded, trying to hide the surprise. It was the first time he had heard him speak so hard about his fans.

"Okay, we've already talked to the hospital director. He is coming here on purpose to take care of the situation himself."

The doctor's hand seemed to tremble for a moment just to hear the big boss mentioned. Perhaps not even he had realized what would have happened in half an hour, when the news would have spread and hundreds of journalists and fans would have surrounded the structure.  
Norman's heroic gesture would have been on all the front pages of the world's tabloids, the very last thing he wanted at the time.

"Jeffrey is coming back with clean clothes... You can't go out in this state!"  
The man looked up at the blood-soaked clothes that still lay in the corner and Norman laughed.

"Oh sure... How can we forget appearances? We would never want them to be not impressed! And my wife's face then? Are you going to cover that too? Maybe a couple of makeup artists are coming?"  
The sarcasm in his voice was obvious and painful.

"Stop it! Who cares about it! You could have got yourself killed, do you realize that?"

This time the old friend's face was no longer as playful as ever. The was worried and was also furious with him for putting himself in that absurd situation. And how can you blame him? He had followed and protected him for some years and now he, without even thinking about it, threw himself in the middle of a firefight... Indeed, he even provoked him. The look they exchanged at that moment was enough to put Norman to silence; the man would have continued to protect him at the cost of his own life but he would never risk his hide again, as hard as it was. Norman then stood up, going to see if his wife was really okay.  
  
But when he arrived the lieutenant closed the door behind him again, not allowing him to enter.

"But what are they still doing in there? It almost seems like she's the culprit!"

It was at least two hours that the Commissioner and the lieutenant were locked in Y/N's room for questioning and had been very clear about his presence next to his wife.

"Patience... You have to be patient..."

He was certainly not the guru of patience but he was still quite shocked by what had happened and seemed to have lost all his controversy.  
Norman sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, feeling the pain in his arm again. He was her husband, he had every right to be with her during such a delicate moment. Y/N would have retraced those long hours of fear and would have done so in front of two complete strangers.  
He stepped back from the corridor wall and tried to look through the lowered shutters.

"Is it possible that they are so insensitive? They are doing this and for what? They know it was him, what do they want on record?"

His bodyguard looked at him for a few moments before deciding to talk.  
"How can you not understand that she asked for it? Y/N decided to be alone with the police."

Norman returned his gaze without a precise expression.  
The man could have said he looked incredulous, perhaps angry or more likely just disappointed, but he didn't hear him say a word and that made him feel a little uncomfortable. Was that the famous sense of guilt?

"Okay, okay... sorry! I'm tired too, Norman! But let her do it... Y/N knows how to make her decisions independently, by now you should know her...", he said and was trying to save what could be saved but now it was too late.

Norman was hurt by that sincerity, perhaps a little too direct, and surely he was even more hurt by his wife's choice.  
He reached the tobacco in his jacket and turned his back on the man without even answering.  
He walked towards the exit without paying attention to any of the curious glances of those present.  
Y/N had excluded him again.


	140. Chapter 134

The driver parked in the backyard and the bodyguard helped Y/N out of the car.  
They had been observing her for a few hours, urging her to come back if she felt anything strange, but even the head of the obstetrics had said he was very satisfied with the conditions of the twins.  
Apparently the madman still loved Norman too much to risk hurting his children, even though he considered them two bastards.  
Norman had been silent for most of the trip, he waved to the many fans who had come to his house and now that he was finally protected by those four walls, he felt strangely exhausted. It was as if all the anguish, tiredness and pain accumulated had fallen on him at that moment.  
His mother nearly fainted when she saw them come in and threw herself around his neck like she had never dared in so many years.  
Mingus and his mother followed her, while out of the corner of his eye she saw his mother, who had now immediately approached Y/N and was now taking her face in her hands, then embracing her with tears in her eyes.  
And after the last hugs, they finally managed to remain alone.  
Y/N entered the bedroom just like every evening, untied her hair and immediately took off her clothes to put on her comfortable robe.  
Norman stood motionless on the threshold watching her perform those automatic gestures, of which she was no longer aware. Seeing her now, nothing seemed to have happened and, if it hadn't been for the bruises and bandages, she probably would have been able to deceive it.  
Their daughter was sleeping blissfully in the room next to them, she probably didn't even notice what had happened.  
Y/N immediately went to her, leaving the light off and entering.

"No... Don't wake her up!", she whispered to her husband, when she sensed that he was about to turn on the switch.

"I don't want her to be frightened seeing me like this..."

Norman went over to the cot and saw her brush the light hair of the little girl with a smile.  
Yet he could not smile, he felt only this huge lump that choked his throat preventing him from breathing. He felt tears burning in his already tired eyes and he drew back, returning to the other room.

"I'll make you a bath...", he just mumbled when he was already far away and the water poured down into the tub covering the trembling of his voice.

He looked at the bathroom tiles for a long time, trying to push back the tears. It made no sense to suffer now, when everything had been resolved for the better. Y/N and the children were fine, they were at home, they were with him and with their daughter and he would never let anyone hurt them again.  
But how?  
Hadn't he been able to protect them once, as he would do in the future? He would have watched his back, increased surveillance, who knows... Maybe he would even stop to talk to random people. Everything was getting too heavy in that river of thoughts.

"Oh god... I better not look at myself!"  
Y/N's voice awoke him from that nightmare.  
"I look horrible!"

Norman said nothing but turned off the water, making sure it wasn't too hot.

"Come on, it's ready..."  
He got up from the edge of the tub ready to leave.

"Well... What are you doing? Won't you stay?"  
His wife stopped him, amazed by that unusual gesture.

"No... I'm tired. I will take a shower and go to sleep."

That said he gave her his back again and left, leaving her alone. He threw his head under the warm water, hoping that he would wash away all the thoughts of those last hours. He struggled not to wet the bandage and remained motionless for at least ten minutes in front of the mirror.  
What was happening to him? What could he not understand? Why wasn't he feeling relieved?  
He turned off the bathroom light, returning to the bedroom. His hair was still wet and the wound had begun to throb. Now he would have thrown himself into bed and slept, surely when he woke up everything would have been clearer.  
He glanced at the half-open door, from which not even a sound came.  
What if Y/N fell asleep in the tub?  
He forced himself to come closer and leaned over, peering through the door. Y/N was still immersed in the tub up to her chin and, as expected, she had abandoned herself to the embrace of the water, falling asleep.  
Norman approached in silence, he knew he had to wake her up but he didn't have the courage.  
Now that she was there, slightly sweaty, with damp hair and all those marks on her face, he could see the real suffering, the one she had tried in every way to hide from him.  
He knelt on the ground, brushing her hair with trembling hands.  
He remembered having already had that terrible feeling that he could only break it with his eyes; he had to go back to the morning of the car accident, just the same day that Y/N had kicked him out of her life.  
And now she was doing it again. She tried to hide but this time he would not allow it.  
He withdrew his hand, seeing her move slightly as a hint of a smile was painted on her lips.

"No, go on... I like it.", she told him, enjoying the touch of his hands with her eyes still closed.

Norman hesitated for a moment, feeling uncovered as if she had heard his own thoughts.  
Finally he took the soft sponge and dipping it in the water, he began to pass it gently on her shoulders and on the neck, coming to touch a bit of her face.  
Watching the marks on her clear skin hurt him, made him angry and at the same time made him feel tenderness.  
Finally he decided, letting the noise of the water be confused with his whisper.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Y/N didn't open her eyes and only a slight movement of her eyebrows betrayed her mood before she spoke.  
"No."

"Why not?"

"Not now... It's too early."  
Her voice was only a sigh but it was equally firm.

"With them you talked about it though..."

"With them it was different. I had to do it..."

Norman stopped for a moment, biting his lips and closing his eyes in turn. What could he say now? Wasn't she right? Shouldn't he respect her will?

"Norman?"  
The touch of her hand surprised him and forced him to look at her.  
The swollen eye was surmounted by a striking white patch, while the other looked at him fixed and tremendously serious.

"I don't want to run away from you, do you understand me? It's just that... I can't do it right now. We will talk about it... I swear we will do it when all this easier and less painful for us both."

"You... Are you trying to protect me?"

It was a question and an affirmation at the same time.  
Y/N smiled slightly, shaking her head.  
"No. But how does it come to your mind? You do not need it. You protected me."

She closed her eyes again, leaving her head against the edge of the tub.  
Norman dipped the sponge again and squeezed it slowly, letting the warm water fall into a small waterfall on her neck.  
Of course she was doing it.  
Y/N was protecting him in her own way and maybe he really needed it.


	141. Chapter 135

Norman awoke with sweat on his forehead.  
It was always the same terrible nightmare, always the same pale face, always the usual weapon pointed at Y/N's throat and the same deafening sound.  
By now every night since the day of the abduction, it was the same dream. He couldn't get that image out of his head and all the anguish he felt in those endless hours of waiting.  
He reached out, looking for Y/N in the darkness of the room, but noticed that the bed beside him was empty and cold.  
He got up worried, realizing she couldn't even be in the bathroom.  
Probably she was downstairs in front of the TV or reading some of her books. He knew it must not be apprehensive, but those nightmares forced him to keep control.  
He was about to go down the stairs when he noticed the small light burning in their daughter's room. Perhaps the child had woken up and he hadn't heard her.  
He went to the door and was surprised at the scene he found himself in front of.  
His daughter was standing in the cot, playing with her toy, while Y/N was asleep in the rocking chair next to her.  
He smiled and walked over to his wife, trying to gently wake her up.

"Hey..."

Y/N complained immediately, opening her eyes and looking at him for a moment without understanding.

"Honey, come to bed..."

"No!", was the woman's sleepy response.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I can't do it."

"You can't do it? You can't spend the night in a wooden chair! It was a pretty tiring day."  
Norman knelt beside her, stroking her hand.

"So where? You know... I don't know how to sleep at the moment, I can't sleep in that damn bed. My back hurts from the side and then these two do not give me any respite."

Y/N looked at the big belly. It was just the 7th month but she was exhausted and the weight of the children was becoming too strenuous, especially now that she couldn't sleep.

"Feel them..."  
A moan escaped her as she tried to settle into the chair again.

Norman studied her worriedly and laid a hand on her belly, immediately realizing the agitation of the two children, who seemed to really struggle with each other to gain a little more space.

"I think C/N just tried to crack a rib!", Y/N tried to joke, unable to hide her suffering expression.

"You two, will you stop?"

Y/N smiled weakly, seeing him so severe and their daughter seemed to be scared by that empty reproach of her father.

"Is this a bottom?", Norman finally asked, trying to understand the position of the children. He would have spent hours listening to their movements and talking to them.

"Yeah... Let's just hope that this plague also follows the example of his brother and turns to the right side!"  
Y/N tried to take a deep sigh, lowering her resigned look.

"Don't worry about this, he'll have all the time... You just have to think about resting!"

"And how do I do it?"

She was exasperated, everyone told her to rest but she had never been so exhausted in her life. Her legs looked like two bagpipes and it hurt her everywhere.

"I know you're tired, love... It's normal. But everything is going great, you just need to be patient for a few more weeks."

"Yes, around ten! I will explode in ten weeks!"

Norman smiled, kissing her temple.  
"Do you know what I thought? Maybe we could ask your mother to join us for at least for the last few weeks..."

Y/N's expression immediately changed.  
"What? But how does that come to your mind? Do you remember when our daughter was born-..."

"Yes, but I think it would do you good. I would be calmer..."

Y/N remained silent, without losing her skeptical gaze, but in the end Norman knew that, although she insisted on being a strong woman, she absolutely needed the presence of her mother.

"Come on, come to bed now... You can't sleep here. She will never fall asleep and you will have even more back pain tomorrow."

He helped her up and tried to put their daughter to bed, which gave no sign of wanting to give up.  
When he returned to the room he found Y/N still standing in front of the bed, as if she wanted to challenge him.

"Okay come on, now lie down... I'll fix your pillows!"

"No Norman, it doesn't work... You know it's not as simple as when I was waiting for our girl. I can no longer breathe good... If only I had imagined that it could have been worse than then, I would not have complained so much two years ago!"

"Thank goodness..."

Norman remembered the last month of tantrums and small quarrels for fatigue all too well and the woman's frustration.

"I have to sit down.", she finally said, sitting down on the bed.

"Okay, so I'll sit too!"

"Stop it! Tomorrow you will wake up with your neck hurting like hell!", his wife teased him while he tried to arrange her pillows.

"I have an idea! Come here... Lean on me..."

"And how?"

"In my arms!"

"But I'll hurt you!"

"Just try it!"

Norman greeted her in his arms.  
Y/N sank into his grasp, resting her head on his chest. In fact she was sitting but could relax and lean on him so as not to hurt the children.

"Is it better this way?"  
He slipped a pillow under her back so he could hold her up.  
"Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, I think so. But not you!"

"Oh I am... I'm very comfortable! It is enough for me to know that you are here!"

They remained silent. Norman fiddled with the woman's hair, who had closed her eyes and relaxed, listening to the beating of his heart.

"It was a nice party...", the woman finally sighed, with her eyes closed too.

"Yes... I never imagined that your father could go like this around as Santa Claus!"

"Only because I had threatened him that your father would have done it..."

Norman burst out laughing.  
"Oh sure! I believe he never spent a Christmas at home with us... He was always working!"

They were silent for a moment again, thinking about how much better the relations with their parents had been in the last months. It seemed that their daughter's illness first and then Y/N's abduction, had joined those two weird families together.

"He enjoyed it... Did you hear how he sings?"

Norman nodded and remembered the priceless scene of Mingus, who was trying to teach his little sister a Christmas song.  
His smile faded slowly as he returned to caress his wife's hair, keeping his eyes fixed on the opposite wall.

"What is it?"  
Y/N had immediately noticed that change and now she had opened her eyes, watching him waiting for an answer.

"Nothing…"  
Norman just shook his head, looking down but avoiding the woman's eyes.

"Norman..."

"It's just that... I was thinking of you... You at the piano..."

Y/N laughed, ready to answer him but Norman silenced her, continuing in a more subdued tone.

"You always played... I remember our evenings at home and those terrible sweets, which you forced me to eat..."

"You said you liked them!"

Norman smiled slightly.  
"Yeah... I could be an great actor, what are you saying?"

Y/N smiled in turn and crouched again on her husband's chest, listening to his voice that echoed inside it.

"I mean I missed you... I missed you, your hands on the keys... Maybe I never realized how good you are until tonight... Until I realized I could never hear your music again... And our daughter, she would have forgotten it..."

He closed his eyes, trying to breathe. It was difficult to give voice that terrible thought.

"She would have spent her birthday without her mother..."

The last words choked in his throat, as he tried to escape the Y/E/C eyes, which now sought him insistently.

"What are you talking about? No, no Norman! I knew you would come to save me! I always knew you would do it!"

Norman finally looked down unashamedly. He was still shocked by what had happened and could not understand the fact that Y/N displayed so much tranquility.

"I never doubted you while I was in there."

"Do you want to talk?"  
Norman froze.

He knew that Y/N would not talk about it, even though ten days had already passed.  
He saw her showing him a slight smile.

"There's nothing left to talk about! We are all well! That's the only thing that matters..."

Norman leaned his head against the pillows behind him and sighed, recognizing the light touch of her fingers on the almost healed wound.

"Yeah... The only thing that matters. But you... Y/N you have no idea how I felt... You can't just ask me to forget."

His wife's hand went up to touch his face.  
"Hey enough, let's go ahead! And you should know by now that you won't get rid of me so easily! Don't you remember?"

Norman lost himself in her eyes, clenched his jaw and took her hand in his to bring it to his lips.

"Okay, now sleep... Try to rest a little...", he murmured softly, losing himself in her face now almost completely healed.

He could have stayed that way forever, cradling her in his arms until she fell asleep, to be able to continue observing her. He hadn't felt that way for centuries, maybe he had never felt so in love and terrified at the same time.

"Norman?", Y/N began again with a faint voice.

"Yes?", was his silent reply.

"What do I wear on Sunday?"

Norman frowned at the absurd question.  
"What do I know? But why, what? Oh, wait,  
yes..."

He remembered only then what would happen that particular Sunday, to which his wife was referring.

"Y/N, we have enough time! And it was said that you would stay at home!"

Y/N pulled herself up, now she would never fall sleep.  
"You said it! You do this every time. No, I won't stay at home on the couch, while my husband wins his first Oscar!"

"What are you talking about? I will not win any Oscar! It's the usual antics! They make me get dressed up to get some pictures of us actors on the red carpet and that's it. All those hours standing and then sitting in the audience to see a parade of botox and tears! If I could I wouldn't even go there!"

"But you will! Why do you have to be the usual party pooper? We are talking about the Oscar night! It's the most important evening of the year. It's great! And then you know you will win! You know it!"

"But I don't care... I don't want it! I survived a lot of years without winning it and I don't do anything about it. It would be a shame to receive it now."

"Look! You always ruin everything! I still have the invitation and I'll go even without you!"  
She cuddled back to him with a grunt.

"Y/N!"

"We have nothing left to tell us! Now I'll sleep."

"Y/N, how many times have we talked about this? Here you are, saying that you don't sleep more than a couple of hours a night, you're dead tired, you go to the bathroom every twenty minutes and you even cry in front of the ads... What do you want to do there at the Oscar night? You know what those people want... They can't wait to take a picture of your belly, that's all! And I don't want that to happen, I don't want to throw you to those vultures!"

Y/N seemed to suddenly wake up and Norman had to help her sit up.

"You are ashamed of me! That's it!"

The man's eyes widened, realizing he had triggered a bomb.  
"No! No, no, what are you saying? How does such a thing come to your mind? Can I ever be ashamed of you? Y/N that is fucking absurd! No... No, don't do it! Please!"

He saw that damn flickering of her chin, which heralded the burst of tears.

"No, honey, don't cry, please!"

Too late, by now the hurricane Y/N had started and would not have stopped so easily. That pregnancy seemed to have brought her sensitivity to such a level that anything moved her.  
Norman hugged her, trying to comfort her.

"Okay... Okay, we'll go together! But only if you promise me that you won't cry at every speech of thanks! And when you're tired you'll go home with the driver, okay?"

He watched her sniffle.

"Understood?"

Y/N nodded.  
"I'm a disaster!", she finally stammered between sobs.

"I know... But you're my disaster."  
  


  
  
"Oh, I'm a fucking mess!"

"What's up now?"  
Norman glanced at his wife on Sunday as the tailor made the last changes on his smoking.

"At this rate we will have to enlarge it by two sizes. I'm huge, Norman! I look like whale!"

Y/N struggled out of the seamstress's expert hands, looking at herself discouraged in the mirror.

"Maybe you were right."

"Hey no, I never said anything! Y/N stop it, you're beautiful!", the man concluded, accentuating the inflection of the voice as he repeated that word again.

"It doesn't even close anymore. And we only tried it three days ago!", she grumbled, not listening to him.

Norman rolled his eyes, signaling to the tailor not to listen to her.  
"But why? I look like the obese version of a Disney princess!"

"Excuse me Y/N if I allow myself, but it's absolutely not true!"

"Oh good, please tell her, since I seem to speak against a wall!'

Y/N looked at them both skeptically.  
"Yes, but everything else shouldn't stand out so much!"

"Okay, change clothes then!", Norman concluded, checking in turn how his jacket was falling.

"No, change yourself!"  
It was the woman's dry response, which now tried to undo the beautiful blue dress, in which she could not even breathe.

Norman cast an eloquent glance at those present, who understood that it was better to leave them alone for a few moments. He waited for them to leave the studio, to get closer to his wife.

"How can I tell you that you are perfect the way you are? You have nothing to envy of any Disney princess or any other woman who will be on that carpet! You are my wife, I wouldn't want to go with any other woman. And if you decide not to come, which I would really prefer, I will go alone. I mean, with our bodyguard, of course!"

He managed to make her smile.  
Y/N looked at herself in the mirror again, this time more convinced...


	142. Chapter 136

"How long have we been in here?"

Norman looked at his watch again, unable to sit still.

"It will be two minutes more than the last time you asked m! Norman relax... You know better than me that it takes some time for these things..."

The bodyguard tried to calm him down and handed him a cup of coffee, which he refused.

"She's crazy...", he repeated for the umpteenth time, almost talking to himself and repeatedly shaking his head.

Y/N was a few meters away from him, surrounded by a myriad of hairdressers, make-up artists and technicians. She had to shoot a commercial, only a few minutes she had told him, but instead they had been in there for at least a couple of hours.

The bodyguard snorted, taking a sip of the coffee.

"Enough of that! What is so weird about this? It's her job! And your job actually too!"

"Exactly, but normal women usually take a rest from work. Do you know that period called motherhood? Not Y/N! We don't even talk about it! Do you realize what happened just a month ago? And now look at her, it's like nothing had happened! She couldn't even stay in bed without feeling bad and look at her now!"

"No, I just think you should try to relax a little..."

"Relax? But I am relaxed!"

He certainly didn't look like a relaxed man for weeks now. His friend could see tired eyes and an increasingly irritable temper as the days went by.  
He knew well that the abduction of Y/N had had a very negative effect on the serenity of Norman, he could understand it from the quantity of guards he had had to put in place after that day.  
Besides, how could he blame him? Norman had felt guilty and helpless at the same time and, despite everything had gone well, it wouldn't have been easy for him to forget and go back to peaceful sleep.  
Y/N turned around at that moment, casting an amused look at the two men and bursting out laughing. She was looking radiant in that dress.  
As nervous as he was, Norman could not avoid answering her with the same smile. Y/N was so happy for that opportunity, she loved that role and, if it wasn't for her pregnancy, she probably would have been at the gala evenings held by then.

"So... When do the naked male models arrive?"

Norman shot a shocked look at the bodyguard, for his unexpected joke.

"Well, what's there to look? Isn't it like in perfume advertising? She wears the jewels, they undress and they jump on her like a pack of hungry wolves..."

"Please..."  
The actor's firm tone forced the man to stop.

"Man, you're just in a bad mood this morning..."

Finally Norman showed a more relaxed smile.  
Again they watched Y/N, who was settling on the set. It would have been only a couple of scenes.  
Norman sensed that his wife was not very happy with his presence there, but inviting him was the only way to persuade him to stop with his reproaches. She was stronger than him, Y/N was at the end of the seventh month and the last thing she had to do was work. If this combined his promise to take her to the Oscar night, Norman felt even more anxious.

"Norman!"

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he hadn't even noticed the voice, that was trying to get his attention.  
A pat of his friend's big hand made him shift his gaze to the blond-haired girl who now stood right in front of him and looked at him with those dreamy eyes he was used to from fans.

"Yes?, he answered in thought and slightly annoyed.

"Well... Hello, I am... Wait, no, it doesn't matter... So..."

She was very excited, you could guess from the way she smiled without being able to cross his eyes, except for brief and fleeting moments.

"It's okay being nervous. It's a pleasure to meet you! So what's up?", Norman tried to smile at her, realizing another time that he was no longer as natural as he used to be.

There was something troubling him in each of the people, who came up with a pen to ask for an autograph. Something sinister in those moved looks, something that reminded him of of the kidnapper and his damn gun.

"I've seen all your movies and of course 'The Walking Dead'! You are absolutely fantastic!"

"Thank you...

The bodyguard caught his friend's restless gaze and realized he wanted to run away, but how could he send a girl like that away?

"Yes... I would like to ask you if-..."

"Of course!"

He didn't even let her finish the sentence and scribbled a quick autograph, forcing himself not to run away when his fan warmly embraced him.

"Is everything okay?"

His friend saw him adjust his cap over his eyes. He seemed embarrassed and not completely at ease, as he again frowned at the set.

"No, where is Y/N?"

The shootings had been suspended and it seemed that only the technicians were left. His tone of voice betrayed a certain alarm, just like that day on the set.

"She's there with the director."

The bodyguard pointed to the figure of his wife, who was secluded in a corner discussing with the director and Norman suddenly felt like a fool. He saw her look down and take a deep sigh, searching for concentration.

"Norman, talk with Y/N about it..."

"Talk about what?"

"About this... How you feel. It seems you are afraid of your own shadow. You don't even let her breathe."

Norman had the instinct to respond brusquely, but he stopped in front of his friend's eyes.

"I just can't get it out of my head..."

"I know... But you can't let that man ruin your life. He didn't succeed, do you understand? He didn't take her away from you!"

The actor took a breath and continued to chew his gum. He put his hands in his pockets, turning his tired eyes back to that model, who no longer seemed to be his wife.  
It was always like this, Y/N was able to suddenly transform herself into a cold and sophisticated woman, when the time came to wear her mask for acting. There was no longer any trace of the woman who begged him with her eyes to move away from the place of her abduction.


	143. Chapter 137

"Are you going to continue?"

Y/N looked at Norman vaguely amused and his friend laughed in turn, following the scene in the rearview mirror.

"Continue what?"  
Norman turned his attention away from the surrounding landscape, to frown at her.

"Come on Norman, what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, you didn't do anything!"

He looked back out of the window, nervously torturing his hands. If he knew her enough, he knew all too well that Y/N would never let it go so easily.  
He heard her settle into the seat next to him and prepared for the counterattack. But, to his great surprise, his wife remained silent, her eyes on him waiting for an explanation, which was not long in coming.

"You know very well what you did! It should have been only ten minutes of work and we were in there for four hours. Four damn hours, Y/N!"

"So what? You know that it takes time!"

"I know, but not like this, not now!"

The blue eyes of Norman were now moving on her belly and Y/N could no longer resist.  
"Thats enough! Enough of this shit! Today I allowed you to come just to reassure you. I let you control me twenty-four hours a day, I can't eat anything that's not good for you too, I can't even lift a book without your permission! Don't you think it is already heavy enough to carry on a pregnancy, trying to keep the commitments made, without you putting yourself there with your mastiff attitudes?"

Norman raised an eyebrow for a fleeting moment, feeling shocked at this point.  
"And you don't think it would be time to act like a responsible adult woman and say no? Sometimes I don't understand where you live, Y/N. You live on another planet! Do you really not realize that this is not what normal mothers do? You stood for four hours in the spotlight and the cold air, waiting for a bunch of incompetent technicians to finish a job, which they should have already completed. For what? For an ad?"

He accompanied the last words with a dramatic wave of his hand and turned back around, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Of course, because there was no reason to refuse to shoot a commercial like this. Come on Norman, it's for kids... It's for a good cause, you would have done it too!"

"And your own children? Don't you think about them? And even if I had done it, it wouldn't have been the same thing, because I'm not a pregnant woman with twins! And although it is not interesting to you, I have taken these last months of rest to be near you. And what do you do? Work, work, work!"

The man looked away, trying to regain control. He swallowed and turned back to his wife in a more condescending tone.

"But why is it so difficult for you to understand? You worked until last month and I didn't say anything, I supported you and we bent over backwards to finish the work and leave you time to rest before giving birth. And now we're back! Y/N, you have to learn to understand your limits. Or do I have to remind you of what happened when you waited and decided to take a trip around the world?"

Y/N couldn't believe her ears.  
"Around the world? Because you always have to go overboard to get the water to your mill. You know well what happened two years ago and you also know that it wasn't just the trip's fault!"

The bodyguard closed his eyes, knowing that the woman's last words had touched a sore point. As expected, Norman reacted badly to the provocation and wasted no time to answer.

"Well sure, even then it was my fault! And when would it not be my fault?"

"I don't lie for months like you did back then, hiding your sex story with that bitch from me!"

"I thought we were done with that!"

"I thought so too!"

Silence fell in the cockpit of the car and the driver cast a worried glance at his colleague sitting beside him.  
A few minutes passed without either of them deciding to talk or just to look into each other's eyes, until Y/N put her hand to her belly, taking a deep sigh.

"What's going on?"  
It was Norman's immediate reaction, who now looked at her worriedly.

"Look! That's what I mean! I can't even move without you being worried. Nothing. Nothing is wrong. I only have to go to the bathroom!"

The man's expression changed immediately, he hated being treated like that.

"In minutes we'll be home.", he answered her in a flat voice.

"No, I can't hold it back!"

"But where do you want to go? We are in the middle of nowhere!"

"It's not true, there are a lot of petrol stations and restaurants... Please!"

The driver glanced fleetingly in the mirror and tried not to burst out laughing at that family tragedy.  
Norman snorted defeated, while got off of the main road.

"What are you doing?"  
Y/N stopped him, seeing him open the door once they were parked in the service area.

"I'm coming with you!", he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Now you guard me even in the bathroom? That's so fucking absurd..."

Norman rolled his eyes, sat back down and slammed the door.  
Normally he would have helped her but that conversation had been too frustrating, it seemed that whatever he did was wrong.  
Fortunately their bodyguard came to his aid.

"I think I will go and have a look..."

That said, the guard got out of the car, without even needing to look at the expression of gratitude painted on his friend's face.  
Norman snorted loudly. He seemed to have returned to New York when he was forced to hide in the car so as not to be seen while she felt ill.

"I just wish she wasn't always so stubborn... Do you think she doesn't realize that she's tired?", he sighed, reaching for the tobacco he kept in the car while talking to the driver.

"Maybe you have to let her breathe a little..."

"Are you on her side now?"  
Norman looked up at him in shock.

"I'm on no ones side. I said what I said."

The actor froze and looked at the mirror, where the driver's dark eyes pierced him.

"Got it.", Norman then merely answered, putting himself more comfortable in the seat and with his hands in his pockets.


	144. Chapter 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Norman in the next chapters is probably extremely distressing, anyone would get tired of having such a man but as you know, YOU know him best here!

Norman made his entrance into the kitchen, with a bag and a sweat-shirt. He hated training in the afternoon but that day he had no other choice, given by Y/N's commitments.

"Wow, that smells good! What are you preparing?"

"Some selfmade Pizzas!"  
It was his mother's reply, who glared at him and saw him steal some of the cheese.

"Absolutely perfect!", he said, licking his fingers and pretending not to have noticed the reproach in the woman's eyes.

He decided to open the refrigerator, taking a bottle of water and drank it almost all in one gulp.  
The woman sighed, continuing prepare everything.

"It will hurt you, you know..."

"Yes Mom, I know but I couldn't take it anymore! Where's my wife?"

"She's in the garden with the Mingus and your girl. I think they're in the pool."

Norman opened the doors and listened, recognizing Mingus' unmistakable laughter in the distance:  
"Come on, move your feet, just like that!"

He smiled, already imagining the scene, which he would face. Mingus was immersed in water to his waist and was teaching his little sister to swim, which looked like a small fish in her pink and blue costume.  
Y/N was sitting on a chair, right in front of the pool and watched the scene with amusement, shielding her eyes from the scorching sun.

"Hey look, there's Dad! Look Dad, look how good she is!"  
Mingus was the first to notice his presence and kept his sister afloat, taking her by the waist and letting her splash free with her arms and legs.

"Oh, look at my little mermaid! Show me how you can swim!"

Norman smiled and glanced at his wife, before crouching on the edge of the pool a few steps away from her.  
They hadn't spoken since that morning, when Y/N had returned by taxi and he had welcomed her with a sad gaze to the ground. Now that a few hours had passed and he had vented himself by throwing a few punches at his gym, Norman felt much better and he also realized that perhaps he had exaggerated. But Y/N didn't seem at all willing to let it go and it certainly wouldn't have been easy to smooth things out, after what they said in the car.  
He heard her laugh as they both watched their child's progress.

"Mingus, how about going where the water is a little lower?", Norman finally asked, showing himself as apprehensive as ever.

His son snorted and took a few steps towards the part where the pool rose towards the stairs and Norman stood up, staying close to Y/N's chair for a few seconds. He didn't want to give in first, but he couldn't stay angry with her for more than a couple of hours.

"No bath today?"

"No, I don't think I can get out of this chair for the rest of the day."

"You should lie down in the shadows and not here. Here, drink some water."  
He handed her the bottle and Y/N took a sip, before giving it back without saying anything else.

"Oh no, you keep it, I'm going to change my clothes and go into the pool too."

Norman headed for the small outbuilding, which they often used as a cabin.  
It didn't go exactly right, but at least they talked and Y/N seemed a lot less pugnacious now. Probably she too was tired of arguing or maybe it was just because of the presence of the children.  
He only needed a couple of minutes to get out wearing a military green boxers and a large towel on his shoulder. He took a shower, shivering and then without thinking he dived into the water.  
His wife said nothing, but smiled more relaxed and Norman felt better immediately.

"Come here honey... Let me see!"

Their daughter could not wait to show him her progress and without thinking she broke away from the embrace of her brother, to reach her father with her clumsy style when Mingus' mobile phone began to ring wildly.

"Always with that phone, Mingus?", Norman scolded him, seeing him leave the pool immediately to answer what was probably his girlfriend.

"Shut up Dad, please!", his son silenced him before answering and getting a few steps away, so as not to be heard.

"Shall we throw it in the pool? What do you say, honey?"

He took the little girl making her plunge and then making her re-emerge after a second.

"Norman?"

It was only a whisper and the man didn't even know he heard it, until he glanced at the edge of the pool and noticed that Y/N was sitting on the edge of her chair, with her face down and her hands on her chest.  
It took him a few moments to understand what was happening.

"What happened? Y/N? I swear that if it's one of your stupid jokes..."

But this time there was no joke, Y/N seemed to be struggling to get air and her face had suddenly turned as white as her dress.

"Y/N? Fuck! Y/N!"

He let that word escape him, remembering only too late that he was with the child.  
He had to do something. He looked around, taking his daughter in his arms and dragging her out of the pool, amid her protests, and was next to his wife.

"Honey, what do you feel? Talk to me!"

Y/N struggled to speak but felt her head getting heavier.

"I can't..."

Those were the only words she could utter with her breathlessness.  
She saw that everything was turning darker around her and it was as if a huge weight oppressed her, preventing her from breathing.

"Hey, no... No Y/N, look at me! Don't close your eyes, do you understand me? Look at me!"

Norman tried to raise her head, immediately realizing that she was bleeding from her nose and her eyes were struggling to focus.  
Their daughter had started crying next to them, she was completely soaked and probably afraid.  
He took his abandoned towel nearby and tried to dab the woman's nose, screaming for help.

"Mingus! Mingus!"

Finally the boy was called back, perhaps more from the child's desperate crying, than from the screams of her father and approached, moving the phone away from his ear.

"What is it?"

"Give me your phone and take your sister!"

Y/N was losing consciousness and Norman already struggled to hold her up.  
Mingus frowned at him, not understanding why he was so agitated.

"Move Mingus!"

He protested, looking annoyed but then he realized what was really happening and hurried to hang up running towards the pool.

" Help me hold her... Go and call grandma and... And bring some sugar, some water... I have to call the Doctor and an ambulance..."

He was confused, the screams of the child deafened him and Y/N didn't seem more conscious.

"Breathe Y/N! You have to breathe!"

But the woman was no longer responding and Norman panicked.

"I... I called an ambulance..."

Mingus' voice behind him made him resume slightly and reminded him that his daughter was shivering, looking at that frightening scene. He wrapped her in a towel, trying to hold her tight, without losing sight of each of Y/N's movements, which now no longer gasped as before, but remained motionless, with her eyes closed and a slight tremor running through her whole body.


	145. Chapter 139

"Who wants pizza?"

"Me!"

His daughter and Y/N answered him both.

"Norman, don't give her anything spicy!"

"I know, I know..."

Not only would Y/N never let the child get used to being in their bedroom with them, but she wouldn't even let Norman eat there.  
When the ambulance arrived, Y/N was already feeling better, the bleeding had passed and even the breathlessness.  
As confirmed by the paramedics before, and then by the Doctor, it was a sudden increase in blood pressure, probably due to pregnancy and stress. The increase in the blood supply required by the two children had created the other respiratory problems. Y/N had never suffered from hypertension, so everyone had shown themselves to be fairly optimistic, recommending only maximum rest and careful monitoring.  
Y/N took a napkin and began to eat her pizza, concentrating again on the TV.

"No, 'Alice in Wonderland' again?"

"Yes!"

His daughter's excited little voice confirmed the sad truth; It seemed that their daughter particularly loved it and had no intention of exploring other movies, at least for the time being.  
All the tomato was already miserably smeared on her little shirt and Y/N was trying to fix it with a paper napkin.

"Did you get the magnesium?"

"Yes."

"And the-..."

"Yes."

Y/N's tone was neutral, the one that forced him to keep quiet while she didn't look away from the screen.

"But you didn't even let me finish the question!", Norman protested, looking at her.

"I wrote everything down, there was no way to forget it!"

He glanced at the bedside table, on which stood a sheet with all the medical prescriptions.  
Norman tried to resist but he couldn't do it for more than five seconds.

"Stop pretending it's nothing! It wasn't a joke what happened today, do you understand? The Doctor said it could be dangerous, in fact it can become dangerous! High blood pressure is not a joke and you know it. We should try it again..."

"Are you kidding? I tried it two hours ago! The doctor only said that I have to balance the diet and drink more. Don't get upset... Nothing serious happened!"

Y/N took another slice of the pizza and Norman forced himself to lean back against the headboard.  
How could he not get upset?  
Now he would have told her that it was all his fault, the stress and too much work of those days but he held back; that day had been tiring enough for both of them.  
He passed his glass full of water to his daughter and cleaned her mouth, before starting to eat again in silence.  
There was a thought that had been buzzing in his head for days now, but that had become terribly insistent after the illness of that afternoon.  
He opened his mouth to speak, stopping almost immediately. Yet he had to do it, there were only a few hours left.

"Listen..."

Y/N immediately understood from his tone that something was wrong and that Norman could no longer keep quiet. She placed the crust in the carton and looked at it, wiping her hands on the napkin.  
Norman looked for the right words but didn't find them.

"I know you'll get angry but... I decided we won't go tomorrow."  
His tone was firm, but not his eyes.

"What?"

"Stop it! I don't want any replies... It's decided!"

"But you can't do that. You're nominated for the best supporting actor!"

Y/N was no longer interested in the film, let alone the rest of her dinner, which was getting cold.

"It's a useless evening! I have no chance of winning! I don't want to go and I'm not going to let you out of the house! But above all I don't want to know that you are here alone!"

The woman's eyes widened, sitting up straighter. She didn't want their daughter to see them fight, so she tried to stay as calm as possible.  
"But you can't do that. You can't! Please Norman, think for a moment. You could bring Mingus at least!"

"But it's not that I don't want you by my side! Don't start with this story again... I don't want you to be forced to stay four or five hours in a theater under the spotlight. Today I worried so much... No, let's face it... Today I was going to have a heart attack! What if it happens again? What if it happens while I'm there?"

"Then there would be someone else here with me. But I feel good. It was just too warm today, that's all!"

"You know the heat has nothing to do with it..."  
His daughter started coughing and Norman patted her on the back, still thinking about the woman's words.

"Norman, please! Wait till you see the tests I'll do tomorrow, okay? If everything goes well I'll go with you. Otherwise you'll go alone... But you have to go! Please!"

The man looked at her still undecided.  
"I don't know..."

"Please..."

She was doing it, those eyes were doing what they did every time.

"All right... I don't understand why I always end up giving in..."


	146. Chapter 140

"Norman? Norman!"

Y/N's voice reached him in the distance and he had the impression that the door was getting smaller and smaller, or maybe he was walking away.

"Norman!"

"Y/N?"

He felt the tightening tightening, as if something was dragging him farther and farther away along the uncultivated lawn and he could do nothing to rebel.

"Norman!"

He opened his eyes, only seeing a blinding light and the outline of his Y/H/C hair.

"Y/N!"

He instinctively clung to her arms, perhaps squeezing her too tightly and only then recognized the grimace of pain and surprise painted on his wife's face.

"Y/N? Do you feel sick? Is everything okay?"

She blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out where she was and sat down.

"I'm fine! It was just a nightmare, you had a nightmare! It's all right now!"

Norman breathed a sigh of relief and hid his face in one hand.

"Yes... It's okay... Sorry... I'm sorry!", he replied, seeing her rub her arm, which he had just tightened with all his strength.

He had to regain control, he was in their own room and Y/N was at his side and she was fine. There was no sign of the shed in the woods, nor of that fan or his gun.  
He took a deep breath and went back to hide under the covers, his back turned to her.

"Come on, go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you up..."

Y/N was still sitting and Norman could feel her eyes on the back of his neck.

"Norman?"

That voice invited him to turn around but he didn't, until he felt the gentle touch of her fingers on his hair.

"Norman we have to talk about too... You can't go on like this. Do you think I can't hear you tossing and turning in bed until four in the morning? And every time you scream in your sleep? You've had these nightmares for weeks now..."

Norman was now forced to turn around. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, knowing that he would collapse, if he only met the woman's gaze.

"It's nothing... Those are just stupid dreams! It's only my sick mind..."

He also tried to smile, but Y/N didn't let herself be fooled.

"They are not stupid dreams! Listen, no one understands better than me what it's like not to be able to sleep. You will wake up exhausted, even now you are intractable, you can't talk about it and above all you can't manage to live well. You're always with me, but you're not really there! It feels like you're far away, so nervous... I'm worried about you!"

Y/N just touched his face and Norman decided to look at her. She was right, he was suffocating her with his fears. All he could think of was that everything could escape from his hands at any moment.

"I don't know what's happening to me... I can't get rid of it! I'm afraid of everyone by now... I don't know who to trust anymore!"

"You just have to let me help you... Don't make the mistake I made. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere!"

Norman shook his head, looking away from her.

"Yes... You're here... You're here now. But you can't control it, do you understand? It doesn't depend on us."

Y/N searched for his eyes, turning her most reassuring expression to him.

"Nothing depends on us... The collapse of the set... Our daughter's illness, the accident... You told me to let go of the guilt, remember? We can't control everything Norman, but we can trust in us, in our children..."

"I'm losing my mind..."  
His voice sounded like a sigh but it was a desperate cry for help.

"I know! I know how it feels to lose control, I know how it is when paranoia creeps into every corner of your brain and your body and seems to drag you down. But you need to face it... You did it with me!"

Norman wasn't sure he'd ever heard his wife's voice so determined.

"I? No, I stayed on the sidelines without even looking..."

"But you would have done it, because you love me! We'll do it together, okay? You just need to talk about it with someone, who knows how to help you and who knows? Maybe even I have to find the courage to do it! I want our children to find a happy and above all rested father when they arrive."

Norman was forced to smile and reached out to kiss her on the lips.  
If there's one person, she is the one who to trust. 


	147. Chapter 141

Y/N took a deep breath and squeezed his hand tightly.

"You're upset..."

"Who, me? Absolutely not, you are the agitated one!"

The woman studied Norman for a few seconds, nodding and looking back out the window.  
Yes, she was upset about that evening. She knew that as much as Norman didn't care about that stupid prize, he deserved it more than anyone else.  
Now it was up to the rest of the world to finally show him something. He had done so much over the last years, it was time for the world to reward him.

"How do you feel?"  
The man's voice reached her far in the midst of those thoughts.

"Well... I'm fine!", she reassured him for the umpteenth time.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Norman, that's enough! I'm fine, really! I slept all day!"

Norman sighed, looking away from his wife.  
"I'm still think that you shouldn't have come. Not after yesterday afternoon at least..."

"Again? Nothing happened, Norman! You heard today that they said, everything's fine!"

"Yeah... You just have to try not to get upset."  
Norman looked at her with a hint of reproach, knowing the effect he would have on his wife.

He stiffened slightly, feeling the car slow down and the well-known clamor outside the tinted windows.  
The recent kidnapping of Y/N had drawn even more attention on them, and that night they both knew that the photographers would not save them. This is why Norman would have liked Y/N to give up, the media pressure would have been too strong on her, with or without an Oscar, and the episode of the previous day had been the drop that had made the glass overflow.  
The bodyguard helped Y/N out of the car and she immediately realized that Norman was much more nervous than he wanted her to believe.  
He felt the grip of her hand become more determined, as they slowly stepped onto the red carpet, letting everyone take a picture of their lives.  
It was like a huge river of people, of clothes, flashes and drawn smiles and without even realizing it they found themselves catapulted back into the theater, remaining as if enchanted every time by the magnificence.   
Norman stopped to greet some colleagues, whom he hadn't seen for a long time.   
He no longer even remembered how strange the feeling of being together with all them was, it almost seemed like a high school reunion.  
Directors and composers, even those involved in the work present for the gala: Norman could say he had worked with everyone and everyone could say they were enchanted by the charm and humility of that special man. Y/N read it in their smiles, in the sincere hugs that these high-sounding people exchanged with him.  
And then here he is lighting up his face to run to greet one of his best friends. Jeffrey was there too with his wife and they both held each other in a fraternal embrace, as if they had never lost sight of each other.   
But Y/N happily skipped all these pleasantries, sitting down on her place. She knew each of those faces polished for the occasion and if it hadn't been for the enormous tiredness that didn't leave her for a moment, she probably would have gone into that circus of lacquer and sequins.  
Suddenly she was joined by a friendly smile.

"Hey stranger!"

There was Orlando, who without even thinking about it, had taken Norman's still empty seat.

Y/N playfully hit him on the arm, shaking her head with one of her hallucinated expressions.

"I hope everything is fine between us and I'm glad to see that you're okay! We were scared. I couldn't believe it when I heard what Norman said..."

Y/N was struck by his serious voice and tried to play it down before the sentence ended.

"Oh... He never had to deal with a crazier man than that fan was. But it's over and I'm not in danger anymore."

Orlando tried to smile, returning to focus on his hands.

"So you're expecting two?"

"Yes... And probably too huge as far as I feel them.", the woman answered with slight embarrassment, feeling as always like a big air balloon.

"Stop it... You're beautiful, you know... They all envy you!"  
He gave her one of his irresistible smiles and his dark eyes shone in the light of the lamps.

"Yes, of course... They envy me because they would like to get their hands on my husband..."

Suddenly Norman had just returned and claimed his seat. He patted the man on the shoulder, who still stood up to embrace him.

"So did you prepare the speech?"

Norman looked at him with a slightly embarrassed smile, brushing his hair away from his face and rubbing his nose lightly.

"What speech?"

The voice of the speaker in the room interrupted them and they all slowly got down on seats again.  
Y/N tried to make herself comfortable, knowing that it would be a real test of courage to remain seated there for all those hours. She touched her husband's hand, who squeezed it while continuing to torture his hands again for most of the evening. It took at least two and a half hours before the presenter announced one of the women, Scarlett Johannson. The actress entered the room, wrapped in a beautiful lace dress, which did not leave much to the imagination.  
Y/N immediately noticed the great similarity between the woman and Norman's Ex and felt a little anxious.

"There are many definitions of the word acting, but none can fully grasp the spell of a great performance. There is only one way to do it and it is what these five actors have done, giving life to their magnificent performances. Here are the nominations for the best supporting actor;"

Y/N had to be prepared for that moment, but she wasn't. It felt like a punch in the face, which almost didn't allow her to listen to the woman's words. All she could do was mentally repeat Norman's name and shake his hand tightly. She felt Norman's hand untie from her to applaud to the other nominations and forced herself to do the same, while she felt the children kicking agitated.

"And Norman Reedus for-...;"

She caught his gaze only for a second. The man was embarrassed, he could never get used to that much applause of the public. Now the man was moving his leg rhythmically. The applause died away slowly and the room was filled with only a silence of waiting. That was the prize every actor wanted, an acknowledgment even higher than that of the protagonist in some ways.  
The man looked at her with a slight smile, as if he didn't even listen to Scarlett's voice, who was intent on opening the envelope.

"And the Oscar goes to-..."

Suddenly the room exploded into a roar, without Y/N being able to hear the voice of the actress, confused with that sound of all those people in her head.  
But she knew it was him, it had to be him. She was breathless for a second which seemed like an eternity, when she finally managed to look Norman in the face. He was surprised and visibly stunned, while his blue eyes seemed to ask her for confirmation of what his ears had heard in that turmoil. His wife was already crying when she stroked his face with both hands.

"I knew it…", she whispered to him, before seeing him being carried away by the embrace of Jeffrey and his colleagues, who had stood up. Everyone knew that he deserved it, everyone knew that this was his moment.

Norman let himself be embraced, unable to put his thoughts in line. He did not imagine that it would be so amazing and unsettling at the same time. He walked down the red carpet, hearing some friends yelling not too polite encouragement and trying to appear calm. Now he should have talked. He joined Scarlett and kissed her on the cheeks, then he turned to the audience to thank them with a slight bow with folded hands. He was excited, he really was. He did not imagine so much warmth from his colleagues. He scanned their eyes and realized that they were sincere, this filled him with joy but made it even more difficult to find the right words. He took the statuette in his hands, observing it for a few moments, then pulled his hair back with that gesture that Y/N always told him not to do and he smiled at her for that broken promise. Norman cleared his throat again, waiting for the last applause to die out and began to speak, with that low tone and his somewhat awkward way of finding words.

"Thank you... Thank you all really... Thank you! Well..."

He concentrated on the prize to search for words, which instead didn't seem to want to come out.

"It is strange... I had so many years to think of something good to say but I managed to arrive unprepared this time all over again."

Everyone laughed at the joke, even if it was true.

"What should be said in these moments? I bet even my son would be much better to find the right words.", he began again and continued with the usual bit of sarcasm.  
"But he also says that there is nothing more embarrassing than seeing me squint to read a badly handwritten note... So I guess I'll have to improvise."

He hesitated for a few moments. It was difficult to enclose so many emotions in a single speech.  
He started again, stumbling a little, but in reality he always knew what he would have wanted to say in such a moment. He had known it for a lot of years.

"One day, some time ago... A very special person told me that acting is like a huge explosion of life, a neurotic impulse. And that the only sign of maturity would be to stop doing it. Well, I have to admit that person was right... At least in my case. If there is one thing that every actor knows, it is that there is nothing more beautiful than acting to keep alive the child who is in all of us. I believe that this award will be dedicated to that person.", he smiled, rubbing his nose lightly.

He raised the statuette slightly, recognizing the emotion in the eyes of those present. He let the applause subside to resume in a slightly broken voice with emotion.

"Now is the time for saying thank you, so I will thank you for this choice that is certainly not obvious at all and so many people, who allowed me once again to give life to a character so incredible and full of colors and energy. And then, since it won't happen to me again soon, I take this opportunity to thank all those who have allowed me to get through this long journey and to be on this stage today... You were colleagues first great and friends now."

His friend smiled at him from afar.

"I thank my mentor, my best friend, the one who taught me not to be afraid of the truth. Whatever it is…"  
He let out a deep sigh.  
"And of course the directors... Or maybe it would be better to say brothers."

He glanced at his wife, who was smiling through tears.  
"And…"  
There was a moment of silence. That was the hardest part.  
"Above all I thank my families... My parents... I also thank all the people out there who have always made me feel loved and supported. I thank my children, those who give me a reason every day to wake up, to improve and to trust the future and I thank the two women who made this miracle possible in my life..."

Norman now had to resist the knot, which he felt tightening in his throat. He forced himself not to look at anyone, he knew it would be too difficult. He smiled and finally looked up at Y/N, who now looked like a swollen river. She would flood the whole theater with her tears.

"But mostly I thank you Y/N... My beautiful wife. I thank you for being an inexhaustible source of emotions, for making me rediscover sensations, which I thought had been buried for centuries. And thank you... Indeed I thank YOU, for that pinch of unconsciousness..."  
Right after that sentence he looked like he would cry too.  
"For that pinch of unconsciousness, for which I reproach you every day... The same that has allowed you to always return here by my side!"

He had said it. And he felt empty now.

"Thanks again... Thank you all! God bless you…"

He took his leave of the stage, greeting with a nod that made him remember the recent injury. He was a little dazed as he went down the stairs, which would have taken him behind the scenes. He had spoken more than he wanted and felt his heart beat faster.  
And he hoped he hadn't forgotten anything but it didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was that he had made it. His bodyguard was waiting for him in the corner, with his usual watchful and visibly excited face. He patted him on the shoulder and accompanied him to the place where some journalists were authorized to catch the winners' reactions. But what reaction could he have?  
He was more surprised than he expected. He had never gone to one of those galas with the intention of winning, in his heart he never thought he could deserve it more than other great artists. But now he had to admit that he felt galvanized by all that affection, almost stunned. When he finally managed to reach his seat again, he was stopped by a myriad of hands from colleagues, who wanted to congratulate him. And finally there she was, Y/N, waiting for him in her beautiful dress, with that usual dreamy atmosphere that seemed to be out of this world.

"You deserved it! I'm so proud of you!", she whispered to him, putting a kiss on his lips.

"I love you!"

That was the only answer that Norman could find. The truest. He settled into the chair, not knowing where to put the precious recognition. It was instinctive for him to pass it on to his wife, who stepped aside, as if it was burning.

"No! Do you know how much bad luck that brings? I won't touch it!"

Norman laughed, looking at her with an incredulous look.  
"Bad luck? And what is the 'bad luck'?"  
He looked around, realizing he had to lower his tone.

"It would be bad luck for me. If I touch it I will never win one too!"

The man laughed, shaking his head at that weird but typical reaction of Y/N.  
Just a few minutes passed and Y/N was called back by his nod.

"Did I touch my hair too much?", he whispered in her ear.

Y/N was about to burst out laughing but she stopped, given the solemnity of the moment. She just looked at him with a wink.

"Definitely."

"How? That's not true... I was careful!"

Norman turned around again and this time it was had Y/N who had to bring a hand to her lips to hide her amused laughter.


	148. Chapter 142

Y/N looked at her husband from a distance and couldn't hold back a proud smile.  
Now that the evening had ended, it was time for photos and interviews with the winners.  
The woman's gaze was recalled by the bodyguard's, who made a grimace, forcing her to laugh and focus again on Norman.  
She kept smiling, shifting the weight from one leg to the other and hoped that everything would end quickly; she couldn't stand any longer in those shoes and needed to sit down.  
So she looked around, hoping to see a loose chair or at least something similar to a step, but as expected she found nothing except sets, photographers and rugs.  
While returning to focus on the man her gaze was attracted by a red figure, who walked along the carpet next to a well-known producer, of which however she could not remember the name.  
Norman's Ex seemed even rejuvenated, with the make-up and that splendid hair, which descended in sinuous waves framing her face. The red lace dress wrapped around her like a glove, leaving her back completely uncovered and highlighting her curves.  
Y/N tried to divert attention from her, suddenly feeling uneasy and she noticed Norman's gaze behind his blue lenses: He had seen her.  
The well-known jealousy took hold of her; she knew all too well that by marrying Norman Reedus, she would often have to deal with this feeling, but she had decided to live with it after all they had been through.

Shortly after those thoughts she decided that this place was too narrow for her and she nodded to the bodyguard, pointing to the corridor that led to the ladies' bathroom. It was certainly nothing new for her, she had the feeling of having spent at least half of the evening in that bathroom.  
So she walked away feeling slightly strange, perhaps that meeting had made her too agitated and the children started to get tired of all those emotions. She was grateful that Norman was too busy and entered the bathroom, letting out a sigh of relief that it was completely deserted and slipped into one of the luxurious toilets.  
That moment was needed to calm down and to reason. After all she had nothing to fear: It was the past, Norman had repeatedly shown that he preferred her over the actress. And yet that breathtaking body and her catlike expression made her legs tremble.  
Or maybe it wasn't just the woman's fault.

Y/N leaned against the wall, feeling the ground fail beneath her feet.  
She needed fresh air and felt suffocated in there. So she went out leaning against the door frame and managed to reach the sink with a knot in her throat.  
She looked at herself in the mirror with the feeling of not even recognizing her own face and started to run cold water to recover.  
It was happening to her again, her head had become heavy and she had the impression of not being able to breathe, as she saw a thousand black dots swirling before her eyes and felt a slight tingling all over her body.  
She had to be quiet, it was just the pressure: All she had to do was to sit down and concentrate on her breathing. She washed her sweaty face and made sure her nose didn't bleed like the day before.  
Now she would go out and look for the bodyguard to support her to the car. She definitely had no intention of ruining the most important evening of her husband's career.

"Oh... Hey..."

The surprised voice made her wince.

It was Norman's Ex herself, who had locked herself in the door recognizing her in front of the mirror.  
Y/N tried to compose herself quickly, wiping her face briskly and trying to fix the smudged make-up.

"I was leaving...", she answered in a trembling voice, before setting off uncertainly toward the exit.

"But I wanted to congratulate you and Norman."

The woman stopped her just as she was passing by.  
Y/N still avoided looking into her eyes and simply answered in a dry tone.

"You don't need to congratulate me..."

"Why not? Don't you find it wonderful to see the person you love winning such an important prize?"

Y/N tried to stay calm but all she could think of was that she wanted to get out of there right away.

"He deserved it..."

"Yes... I know that. I know that very well. I'm happy that you are here at his side."

Y/N froze, blinking with her eyes without realizing if she was meaning it seriously.

"Please... Not again, not now."

"Not again? Y/N, I'm not being mean! We've talked about it, don't you remember? I'm really happy for you!"

She accompanied those words with a gesture full of joy, pointing to her belly.  
Y/N didn't even notice that she hit her, until she felt the palm of her hand burn, while the woman looked at her with wide eyes and a hand on her aching cheek.

"Y/N! What the fuck!"

Y/N felt a new wave of nausea and was forced to lean on the sink closest to her.  
The woman's sly expression changed as she saw the change in her old rival's face.

"What's happening to you?"

Y/N couldn't hold back a groan and put her hand to her belly, feeling a terrible pain.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"  
The woman's voice had suddenly changed, now she seemed worried.

Y/N shook her head decisively, as the pain grew with fear.

"I'll get Norman."

"No!"

The woman's hand, which had landed on Y/N's arm, was blocked by her grip, perhaps a little too strong.

"No, don't! It's getting better... Leave me alone!"

She forced herself to breathe, feeling that the fear was fading slowly and she could regain control.  
The other woman didn't seem very convinced but moved away from her a few steps.

"Do you want me to-..."

"No, I'm fine! Get out... Just get out..."

The woman's gaze studied Y/N for a few moments. Her attitude had changed and she could sense that she had needed a few minutes to understand.

"What... What are you going to do?"

"Nothing..."

Y/N's voice was back and there was no trace of the suffering of a few seconds before.  
She got no answer and the woman adjusted her hair, taking another step back.  
Y/N stood still, not realizing that she still had her hand anchored to the black sink. She bit her lip, waiting for the woman to decide to go out but it seemed that not even she had the courage to do it.

"Y/N, I'm not mad at you... It's not like you think, you just got a panic attack."

"I just want you to stay away!"  
That was the dry answer that marked the end of that confrontation.

Y/N loved Norman and her family too much to bring to light such a terrible situation, she would not give that woman the satisfaction of putting herself back among them, ruining the balance that was so hard to reach. Norman would have gone mad if only he had known again something like that and his path to get out of the nightmare of kidnapping was still a too fresh wound.  
She waited in silence for the door to close again, before bringing both hands to her belly again.  
Her head was like a tornado of emotions and her body seemed to warn her. It was seven weeks before the due date, it was still too early.  
She took a deep breath and brightened her hair, knowing she had to return to all the confusion of the evening. She just hoped that Norman was now ready to leave, so she could finally rest and everything would be okay. She knew from experience how frequent the false alarms were and certainly all that stress was not helping her...

As soon as he saw her Norman gave her a questioning look; he must have noticed that his Ex had just returned from the same direction. He was visibly worried.  
The bodyguard noticed it too and immediately approached the woman.

"Is everything okay?", he asked, barely touching her.

"Yes, I'm okay... Do you mind if I wait in the car in the meantime? I'm really tired and I have to take off these damn shoes!", she tried to smile, hoping that he was too busy with the evening to notice.

"I'll get a security guard!", the man replied immediately, starting to talk to the headset.

The man in a black suit escorted her out, among the flashes of the cameras. Y/N heard the screams of the fans, who recognized her immediately and called her for some autographs. She merely greeted them with a nod, unable even to think of approaching them at that moment. All she wanted was to go home and lie down on her bed.  
She immediately recognized the driver, who looked at her in surprise.

"Already here? And Norman?"

"Norman is finishing the photos, he will be here soon."

She slipped into the car, taking off her shoes and leaning her back against the seat.  
The pain was coming back.


	149. Chapter 143

Norman persisted in signing a couple more autographs, regardless of his friend's grip, who was getting more and more insistent and trying to snatch him from the arms of his fans.  
He always remained a little displaced when he saw the tears of those girls and felt his heart tighten at the thought of not satisfying them with a picture or autograph.  
The bodyguard worriedly checked his mobile phone, trying to get in touch with the driver, to keep him ready to go. The driver had already called him several times, but the clamor of the crowd and above all the maximum attention that he had to hold in those moments had been so much, that he had failed to respond.

"Norman... Let's go!", hetold him more firmly, taking him by the waist and freeing him from the grip of a lady who was no longer young but wild.

"Yes..."

The bodyguard spotted the large black limousine with the darkened windows, which was waiting for them across the street. Of course, if he had waited for Norman, they would have stayed there until the next morning but he had to go now.  
After ten minutes of deafening screams and hysterical cries, the bodyguard decided to take the situation in hand and grabbed him by the shoulders, dragging him away and unleashing the wrath of hundreds of people.

"Hurry!"

The actor reproached him laughing, as he greeted his delirious audience with a final nod.

"Do you know what time it is?"

The bodyguard continued to hold him close, followed a short distance from two other security guards, who would then climb into a second car behind them.  
Norman was tired, but the euphoria continued to keep him on his feet. Not even that night would he sleep but at least not because of nightmares.  
He now squeezed the small golden statue.

"And now what do we do with this?", he asked jokingly to his friend, approaching the car.

"Oh, if you give it to your wife I'm sure she'll break it on your head for the whole time you made her wait!"

They exchanged a knowing look and the man opened the door for him, looking around to make sure there was nothing strange, apart of course from a crowd of journalists and fans who were trying to rush to their car. It was all a matter of their speed...

"Finally, but where the fuck did you go? Didn't you see that I called you?"

He immediately attacked his colleague, who looked at him without understanding and turned to Norman.  
There was something very strange in the man and in all that situation. The driver sat in his seat and clutched Y/N's hand, which clung to him without making a sound.

"What is going on in here?"

"What do you think? Do you know how long I've been trying to call you? I certainly couldn't leave her here alone!"

Norman looked worriedly at his wife's pale face and immediately recognized the grimace.

"Y/N?"

The woman struggled to open her eyes but the pain was too strong to distract herself. It was the driver who intervened in her place, not leaving her hand even for a second.

"When she arrived, it was just a bit strange, then the situation got worse in a few minutes. I tried to convince her to go to the hospital but there was no way... She preferred to wait for you!"

"It's... It's too early!"

The woman's suffering voice made its way through the excited breaths.  
Everything was going too fast compared to their daughter's birth and neither did know what to expect now.  
Norman grabbed her hand, freeing the driver so he could get back behind the wheel.

"Okay honey... Get comfortable now, try to take deep breaths... You know it could be a false alarm! Maybe you just have to start over with the medication..."

Y/N shook her head decisively and almost started to cry, letting the driver answer once more.  
"No Norman, that's no false alarm..."

Norman followed the man's gaze and noticed the car's interiors. There was no doubt, the waters had already broken and this could only mean one thing: It was definitely too early.

"Oh shit!"  
The bodyguard let out that exclamation, bringing a hand to his face. He was easily impressed by that sort of thing and felt like he was about to faint at the thought.

"I ruined your evening... And the car...", Y/N complained, looking for her husband's eyes.

"But who cares about the evening? We have to go to the hospital right away!"

Norman turned directly to the driver, gesturing for him to go and concentrating on his wife, who was now sitting up, clinging to the seat in front of her.  
The pain did not leave her a moment of respite, there were no relevant intervals between one contraction and another, and she felt that she would not last any longer.

"Come on... Drive!"

They were only a few yards away from the spot where they parked, when the driver slammed his hand violently on the wheel, cursing the endless line of cars and all those fans, who were blocking the passage to see their idols.  
Y/N and Norman realized that it was not over, the flashes of the cameras tried to penetrate the privacy of the black glasses to steal more images, not even imagining what was happening.  
The woman hid her head against the seat in front of her, trying to manage the pain and Norman was forced to look down, hiding in turn under the brim of the hat offered by the bodyguard.

"Shit! We can't get stuck here in the middle of all these people!"

The man was losing his patience and was watching the camera flashes, which blinded him, with increasing anger.  
Y/N's eyes met her husband's for a moment, begging him to do something as she dug her nails into the seat.

"Give me that jacket!"

"What?"  
The bodyguard turned in their direction, thinking he hadn't heard right.

"Take off that fucking jacket!"

Of course. If the side windows were black and you could only guess who was inside the car, the space between the driver and the passenger allowed you to spy on the seats through the windshield.  
The man's huge jacket obscured the crack a little and Y/N could finally stop hiding.

"Tey to get comfortable... Soon we'll be there!"

Yet he knew that as they proceeded, they would not get anywhere.  
He helped her stretch out on the seat, holding her in his arms just as he did every night, and Y/N clung to his neck, hiding her face in it with every wave of pain.

"Breathe...", he encouraged her once more, casting a worried look in front of him.

"Norman!", Y/N's moans increased, as did the strength of her grip. "I can't..."

"Of course you can! You can, darling..."

He pushed her hair back from her sweaty forehead, trying to breathe with her. He didn't even know how to help her now, it was all so different from the other time and he was stuck inside a fucking car, with a prize, which he didn't give a damn about any more and that probably had already rolled between the bodyguard's feet.

"Enough... Call the fucking police!"  
The bodyguard's eyes stared at him in disbelief.

"The police, Norman?"

"Yes, go and call the officer of the agents who are in front of the theater. They will clear the way for us. They are forced to do so!"

"They will probably only call an ambulance..."

"No, there are too many people for such a thing. Tell them we need them to escort us to the emergency room immediately!"

So the bodyguard decided to get out of the car and retrace the few meters that separated him from the entrance.  
He could not believe that Norman's fans went crazy even as he passed by, asking him to bring gifts to the actor.  
He wandered with his eyes along the barriers, looking for a uniform and finally he spotted a bold-looking young policeman.

"Hey you! I need to know where your boss is... Its urgent!"

"Hey you, what? Who are you to stay here inside the security perimeter?"

"The head of security of Norman Reedus and Y/N Y/L/N! We have an emergency on board!"

The cop looked down, showing a wry smile on his face.

"Of course... Norman Reedus wants to pass in front of the line and we have to flatten the red carpet! And then, who tells me that you really are their bodyguard?"

Than noticed that the young man's hands were caressing the orderly weapon, as if to threaten him.

"Listen, I don't have to discuss it with you. You'll take me to your boss and we'll handle it!"  
He was trying hard not to lose his temper in front of so much arrogance.

"What if I don't? I've always hated guys like you... You think you can afford anything, just because you lick the ass of people with a lot of money!"

That was too much. The bodyguard took him by the collar of his blue shirt, drawing him to himself.

"Listen to me, kid... This uniform does not make you immortal. When you have chosen to wear it, you have put yourself at the service of the community, not above it and believe me... You will go too far with this attitude. Now... I'm their bodyguard, and believe it or not, I have a gun bigger than yours and I also know how to use it much better than you. I need to talk to your boss. Immediately. Over there is the wife of Norman Reedus who is about to give birth to twins almost two months in advance. Now, do you think you can get me to talk to someone to escort us to the nearest hospital?"

The boy was speechless, as if hypnotized by the two cold eyes.

"Sure... Of course... Follow me!"


	150. Chapter 144

"Can't they go faster?"

The roar of police sirens hung over Y/N's low cries.  
The bodyguard continued to look from the street to the back seat, on which the woman was still lying in her husband's arms.  
He was furious, he could not see people suffering, feeling so helpless.

"We're almost there... Just hold on a few minutes..."

He wanted to encourage her but the rare moments when he could intercept Y/N's eyes, they told him that there was nothing that could make her feel better. She was terrified and the pain increased from minute to minute.  
Suddenly he felt her anchor herself to him, sitting up with a louder cry.

"No... I don't... Norman I can't... Help me..."

Her husband recognized the expression of fear painted on her face and returned with his mind to Christmas two years before.

"What do you mean?"

He was terrified to hear that answer. But his wife remained silent, trying to resist the urge to push.

"Y/N no... Don't! We're soon there!"

He held her, looking out the window, hoping to find a clue that would confirm the veracity of his words.  
A few minutes passed when the driver parked in front of the emergency room and nearly crashed into the agents' car.  
The bodyguard got out and ran to the front desk to call for help, while the policemen remained motionless around their cars, not knowing how to behave in such a delicate situation.  
It took only a couple of minutes before a doctor came out, followed by some nurses.

Y/N heard the door open and drew back scared.  
"No, calm down... Calm down... I'm the doctor, everything will be fine!"

The woman could not answer, but she stifled another moan, hiding her face on her husband's shoulder.  
Norman turned his worried gaze to the doctor, who quickly put on a pair of gloves, trying to calm the patient.  
The driver immediately got out of the car, staying close to the door as if to protect her from the looks of the curious people. Like the bodyguard, he knew very well how fast the news and tabloids are, especially if Norman Reedus' car was suddenly escorted by the police, right in front of a crowd of paparazzi.

"No, please ... I can't!"

The driver recognized Y/N's tears and shifted slightly from the car, feeling embarrassed.  
The Doctor climbed with one knee in the back seat to better see the patient, who instead tried to retreat to the opposite side.

"Mrs. Reedus try to stand still now. It won't take long..."

Y/N shook her head stubbornly.  
"No... Not here! Please Norman, tell him! I can't do it in here!"

Norman turned his gaze from his wife to the doctor's face; he too would not have wanted one of his sons to be born in the back seat of a car, at least not after what had happened with their daughter, but the doctor seemed immovable.

"Listen, there is no time... Your baby is already coming, it would be a risk to carry you now... It is too dangerous for it..."

Y/N realized that the urge to push was becoming unbearable but could not think that it would happen again like that. She tried to resist the arrival of the new contraction, instinctively squeezing her legs.

"No! No Y/N... Norman, please help me! She must push now!"

"No, no, please!", Y/N cried through her tears, seeking confirmation in her husband's eyes.

"We have everything we need... It will immediately be placed in an incubator and we will take it inside to monitor the position of the second child. But you must understand that there is no time! The more we wait, the more the risks increase for both."

Only then did Norman decide to intervene. If things really were that way, it made no sense to wait. After all, which doctor would have preferred to have a patient give birth in a car in a parking lot, rather than inside the hospital?  
He turned to his wife in a gentler but resolute tone. Even Y/N knew what was best, she just needed him to reassure her.

"Darling? Y/N, listen to me. We have no other choice... I also wish there was another way, I wish we could wait. You can do it... I know you can. Now concentrate... Okay? Breathe..."

Y/N nodded, letting him run his thumb under her eyes to wipe away her tears along with the smudged eyeliner.  
The doctor adjusted the precious ruined dress better and monitored the beat.

"Okay, push with all your strength until the next contraction. I can already see the head... Norman..."

He understood immediately and managed to struggle against the closed door, so as to position himself behind his wife's back. It was all too uncomfortable, and he was sweating in his tuxedo.  
He felt Y/N's hands, which clung to his pants and held her with his body, accompanying her in that first painful push.

"Very good... Great, continue like this!"

Y/N pushed again, forgetting where she was and what could have happened.

"Oh yes... Here he is. Now the incubator!"

The doctor nodded to the nurses, who were already ready that urgent transport was needed inside.  
Norman leaned his chin on his wife's shoulder, holding both her hands. He could feel the strain of her body in all her tense muscles.

"One last push, force yourself Y/N!"

Y/N gathered her strength, leaning her head back, right next to Norman, who instead admired the miracle, which was taking place before his eyes.

"You're almost there...", he whispered in her ear, seeing her struggle in silence against the growing pain.

He was scared to death but his wife's courage could still make him hope that everything went well.  
Y/N couldn't hold back one last scream and there he was, a tiny and screaming creature.

"This is one of the most angry dwarfs I've ever seen!", the doctor said jokingly, placing him immediately in her mother's arms.

Y/N felt her heart tighten when she realized how small and helpless her child was.

"Oh god... He's so small!", she stammered in tears, looking for Norman's eyes.

"He's perfect!", Norman sniffed and brushed his son's little hand, feeling his heart fill with joy and concern. He was really tiny compared to his other children, but it was clear that he was a fighter.

Y/N held the child to her, still incredulous. She hadn't even had time to realize it and now she was already so exhausted, she couldn't believe that it was only halfway through the pain.

"Okay. Now we go inside to give birth to his little brother!"

Norman took the scissors and had to force himself to stop the trembling of his hand, while cutting the umbilical cord of his son.  
Now they should have gotten out of that car. He felt Y/N stiffen again and realized that the contractions had already begun again.  
Norman cast a worried look at the doctor, who nodded, returning to take care of the patient. It had to be a good sign, the child was breathing alone and didn't seem to need urgent care.  
He opened the door and slid out of the car with difficulty, only then did he notice the people crowded no more than twenty meters away, which were kept at bay by a thick crowd of agents.  
The bodyguard immediately ran to the car, looking at him questioningly.

"Stay here, cover me!"

Norman didn't say anything else and took off his jacket and went back to bend inside the car to pick up his son and gently wrapped it around him. He had no intention of showing him in front of dozens of mobile phones and cameras. He was such a delicate creature, he was almost afraid to break him as he looked at his friend again, this time with more emotion.  
The agents had the task of surrounding them to escort them to the emergency room and Norman realized he hated all those screams that surrounded him. He hid his son better, clutching him to his chest, and watched the bodyguard and the nurses apprehensively as they laid took Y/N inside.  
It was all happening very fast, they entered as if carried by that current of uniforms, which hid them almost entirely. The screams of the people gave way to the woman's new moans.

"Now give it to us..."

A nurse took his son from his hands and took him with her into a room, where he would probably have been washed, weighed and visited, before he met his little brother.

"Okay Y/N, now let's see what the situation is like!"

They helped her lie down on a bed and the nurses undressed her, trying to distract her with their comments on the magnificence of her dress; they had probably never seen an Oscar dress.  
Y/N wanted so much to smile at their jokes, but she couldn't manage the pain that seemed even stronger than the previous one.  
She had read somewhere that after the birth of the first twin, the uterus had to contract more to allow the second to come out, but she didn't think it could be so terribly painful.

"So... Here it is..."  
The doctor's expression was certainly not the most encouraging.

"What's wrong?"  
Norman tried to understand something in those black and white images.

"Nothing strange... But the child is breech. This means that we will have to evaluate the best solution."

"What would you say?"

"We can help him to make it run in the correct position, but it is an invasive and dangerous procedure at this stage..."

"Or?"

"Or we can try natural delivery and resort to caesarean if necessary!"

"No, not a caesarean!", the patient protested, trying to sit up.

Norman, for his part, would have rather proceeded immediately with the intervention. He did not imagine that it could be so traumatic and could no longer see his wife suffer that way.

"Okay, for now it's still early. Let's just monitor the situation. I'll be back again in a few minutes. If you need me, call me! And Y/N, try to relax."

The doctor went out, while a nurse put the beeper in Y/N's hand.  
They remained alone for an unspecified time. Norman had the distinct feeling that the minutes never passed, as he looked from his wife, to the clock on the monitor, which indicated the pattern of contractions.  
He tried hard to show himself lucid and to instill courage, but the more the clock went on, the more he was sure he had never seen her so tired and suffering, not even during the birth of their daughter.

"Another one is coming... Don't forget to breathe."

He shook her hand for the umpteenth time, trying to help her but unexpectedly Y/N seemed to give in to the pain, clinging to the pillow and suffocating the screams in it.

"No, not like that! Y/N please concentrate!"

Y/N shook her head, covering her face with one hand.  
"I can't. I can't..."

"Does it hurt too much?"

This time the woman nodded and the man immediately looked around for someone.  
"Why didn't you ask for something for the pain?"

"I thought... I thought I could do it!"

Norman felt helpless, he knew that Y/N had always refused the idea of receiving painkillers, but this time she couldn't continue that way.

"I'll call the doctor..."

Y/N finally gave up and nodded, biting her lips and squeezing the covers tightly.  
The doctor immediately arranged to give her a painkiller but, as the minutes went by, it was clear that this had no effect.  
Suddenly Y/N pulled herself up, clinging to the handle on the side of the bed: Nausea was now added to the pain.

"Norman, I want my mother! Call my mother... Please..."

That plea among tears frightened him. Y/N would never have asked for her mother's help unless she was in an extreme situation.  
He hastened to reassure her, but he knew very well that her mother was in Europe for now and would not arrive in time.

"Of course, honey... I'm going to call her..."

He struggled away from her hand and intercepted the doctor's gaze, approaching her to speak to her in a low voice.

"Please give her something stronger... Can't you see that it doesn't work?"

"We're trying to call the anesthesiologist but he's busy in the operating room..."

"And can't anyone else fucking come? Do you have only one anesthesiologist in this damn hospital?"

The doctor looked at him sympathetically but gave him no answer.  
Norman now went out to the corridor and the bodyguard ran to him.

"So?"

"Still nothing... Listen... Call Y/N's parents! They have to come here as soon as possible!"

The man's expression changed.  
"What is it? Is something wrong?"

Norman put his hand to his hair.  
"I don't know... I don't know anything, man... It's too bad!"

He wandered with his eyes to the people, who were still waiting outside the sliding door and photographed him, making their way through the shoulders of the police officers.

"They have to make that pain stop... I've never seen her like this!"

He was exhausted and hearing Y/N's screams through the door was making him feel bad himself.

"Listen... You know that woman is tough... Get back in there now, she needs you!"

Norman nodded not without any effort.  
Yes, Y/N had proved to be a really strong woman, but this time she seemed too suffering even to fight.  
He had to change his mind when he returned and found her focused on the doctor's instructions.

"Come on now another good push... I know it hurts, Y/N. Try to concentrate and get rid of all the pain!"

Y/N anchored herself to her knees to push.  
Norman was right next to her and held her legs, trying to understand what was happening.  
The woman leaned back against the pillows again; she was out of breath and her heart was beating wildly with enormous effort.  
Both turned to the monitor, while the doctor continued with yet another check-up ultrasound.

"Okay, it's moving..."

Norman let his wife cling to him again to help her with the new push. He just wanted to take at least half of that pain away.

"Come on Y/N, it's going great!"

Y/N pushed again and again, screaming like maybe she had never done in her life. She couldn't even realize what was happening, she just wanted it all to end.  
Suddenly a nurse intervened with a worried tone.

"The baby's heartbeat is falling... 94... 91... The pressure is falling!"

"Oxygen!"

Y/N saw the room rotate as they put the mask over her mouth, continuing to tell her to breathe. She met her husband's face and saw him being scared to death. She had the instinct to get up and ask for explanations, but realized that she could no longer control her body.

"Prepare room two... We have to proceed with the surgery, we can no longer wait!"

The woman tried to rebel but the pain forced her to resist once again.  
Notman had risen from the bed and now looked anxiously at every movement of the doctors, who were in great turmoil because of the urgent transfer to the operating room.  
Y/N had taken off her mask and was looking at him with her eyes so big and full of tears.

"Everything will be fine, honey... Don't worry!"

Y/N screamed all over again, while the anesthesiologist made his entrance to visit her.  
They moved her out and Norman followed them along the deserted corridors. It was like a huge and disturbing maze.

"Now put these on!"

He was stuck in the anteroom of the operating room and felt sick at the idea of breaking away from his wife's hand. He put his coat and cap on in a hurry and went into that sterile environment.

"Now we have to put Y/N on her side... She will feel a little pain but soon everything will pass!"

Y/N was shaking, no pain could have been worse than the one she felt since the last hour.  
Her husband's blue eyes encouraged her just before she got into contact with the needle in her back.  
The grip of pain, in which she had been crushed so far, seemed to loosen slowly, leaving her exhausted on that bed.

"Now it's better, isn't it?"

The woman nodded, trying to breathe again.

"We are ready..."

They waited for the patient to be completely numb and prepared to start.  
Norman was sitting behind Y/N's head and could not see any of the doctors' movements. He saw them tinkering with expert gestures, while he felt his wife's hand tremble in his.

"Here is our little man!"  
The doctor's voice made him start breathing again.

Norman tried to smile and kissed the woman's forehead.

"One more second... And... Got him!"

They lifted the little creature above the green sheets for only a second. Y/N couldn't see it, but Norman's tear-filled eyes made her realize that it really happened.  
She held her breath, not knowing what was happening and squeezed her husband's hand, who wiped his eyes with a quick gesture.

"What's going on, Norman? Why doesn't he cry?", she finally asked in a voice full of anguish. She just wanted to be able to move.

"What's happening... Norman tell me what's going on? Is he breathing?"

The terror was painted on her very pale face.  
Norman didn't know what to answer, his son looked even smaller than his brother and was now hidden, surrounded by doctors, who probably tried to revive him.  
Finally a faint cry rose into the air and the room was filled with a sigh of relief.  
Y/N burst into tears recognizing the increasingly loud screams and finally welcomed the little cyanotic bundle into her arms.  
Norman couldn't even talk, he was overwhelmed with emotion.  
That little child was so delicate, even though he had just been born he could recognize the finer features. Now he no longer cried and was curled up on his mother's breast like a kitten.

"Fuck!"

But the newly whispered exclamation of the Doctor brought him back to reality, forcing him to look away from his son.  
There was a great confusion, he could not understand what it was, he saw them only fiddling frantically with gauzes around Y/N's body.

"Falling pressure... 60... 40... 50..."

"What are you doing?"

They were quickly removing the child from Y/N's arms and were disappearing into the room adjacent to the operating room.

"Norman?"  
His wife's voice was barely audible. Her face had suddenly lost any color and the grip of her hand was powerless.

"Y/N? Y/N! What is happening? Y/N no, look at me! Look at me!"

"Ventricular tachycardia... Y/N, don't give up now!"

"20 units of diluted oxytocin... Mr. Reedus, you can't stay here."

Norman got to his feet, only then realizing that his wife had lost a lot of blood and almost fainted. He tried to resist not to frighten Y/N but he realized that by now she was no longer conscious, while the nurses returned to put her mask on.

"Out... Take him out!"

"No, what are you doing to her? Y/N!"

The doctor didn't even look at him, busy as he was in managing the emergency.  
Norman felt the hands of two nurses on his arms, not understanding their words. It was as if there was only a deafening roar in his head when he was dragged out of the operating room.  
He found himself alone in a deserted corridor illuminated by the cold light.  
He stood motionless looking at his hands.  
It was all so unreal. Maybe it was just supposed to be a nightmare, soon he would wake up and Y/N would be there by his side, complaining of back pain and the fact that he kept snoring and complaining in his sleep...  
He forced himself not to cry, putting his hand to his hair and then rubbing his face.  
His children were in there, they had just seen the light and needed their mother. Y/N could not give up after all she had endured.  
He angrily removed the green coat, throwing it on a chair and sat down beside it.  
Why was this happening?  
He looked at his crumpled clothing, realizing he was still in a tuxedo.  
The evening just passed seemed now thousands of years away; the lights, the applause, the award. Everything seemed to never have happened.  
He thought of their daughter, at home with her grandma. Probably she was sleeping happily in her cot and she didn't even imagine that life could be so cruel as to take away her mother's smile.  
But this time it wasn't a nightmare, when Norman hid his face in his hands and burst into tears.


	151. Chapter 145

A damn glass again to separate him from his children.  
Norman had been standing there for an unspecified time, unable to look away from those two little warriors, who were now tossing next to each other in their heated cradle.  
The doctors had said they were strong and they would soon be able to get out of the incubator.  
The only thing that worried them was the lungs of the younger one, who still needed help to allow him to breathe without problems.

The bodyguard opened the door and approached in silence, holding out his black jacket.

"The nurses handed it to me..."

"Oh, yes... Who can say that he was born in a limousine and the first thing he wore was a tuxedo? I guess my son can."

He accompanied those words with a sad smile, closing his eyes.

"He also gave me these..."  
The bodyguard's huge hand opened, revealing two small white plastic bracelets.

Norman recognized them immediately and was surprised to have to wear them. A lump in his throat almost prevented him from speaking, as he looked up in fright at his friend.

"But... Don't they give it to their mother?"

When their daughter was born, just over two years ago, he remembered very well that they had given him no bracelet. Perhaps Y/N's condition was too serious this time.  
The bodyguard noticed the panic painted on Norman's face and hastened to reassure him.

"Yes, they give it to her too."

The actor wanted to smile but he lowered his eyes again to those two small bracelets, which did not even bear the names of the children, but rather some serial numbers and an identifying bar code.

"It's magical...", his friend said, looking at the children for the first time.

"Yeah...", was the only answer Norman could give, with a sigh.

He frantically fumbled with the bracelets, until his friend helped him tie them around his wrist; that scene brought him back to the morning of his marriage. And now everything was destroyed again.  
They had been waiting for news of Y/N for hours now. For now all they had been able to know was that there had been a serious bleeding during the expulsion of the placenta and that a transfusion had been necessary to replace all the lost blood.  
Norman had insisted to be the donor, since they had the same blood type, but the doctors had firmly rejected that idea, preferring to rely on the hospital's blood bank.  
Now all that remained was to wait.  
But waiting became increasingly difficult for him, who had the feeling of having waited a lifetime in places like this.  
That thought made him shiver; he put his hands in his pockets, keeping his head down with his eyes turned to the tips of his gala shoes.  
How long had Y/N been waiting for him?

His friend's deep voice brought him back from those thoughts but they were interrupted by the sound of a mobile phone and Norman realized that it came from his jacket, now crumpled into a chair nearby.  
He quickly retrieved it and answered without even reading the name on the display.

"Oh finally! Where the hell were you? I tried calling you all night! It's okay that you have to celebrate, but not even a phone call to your best friend after you're done?"

Jeffrey's cheerful voice hit him like a punch in the middle of his stomach. He couldn't even imagine what had happened. He probably thought he was drunk somewhere, with his award on display.  
He cleared his throat, trying not to seem too worried.

"I'm sorry man... It's just that some unexpected things happened."

"But how unexpected? Give me to Y/N, I wanna congratulate her too!"

"Jeffrey, listen to me. Y/N is not here... She..."

He was forced to pause to look for the right words.

"She gave birth tonight..."

"What?"

"Yes... We are in the hospital."

"Oh god, were the twins born? I can not believe it! But... Weren't they supposed to be born in March? And how are they? Oh god, everything went well, didn't it?"

Norman went a few steps down the corridor, torturing his hair.  
"Yes... Yes, they were born early. They are so small, Jeffrey!"

Norman's voice gave way for a second, as he looked at the two little bodies, almost completely wrapped in diapers.

"But they're fine, aren't they?"

"Yes, the doctors said they are fine... C/N needs the respirator but he's strong..."

"And Y/N?"

The silence that followed that question, made him understand immediately that something was wrong.

"Norman?"

The man sighed and decided to talk. Jeffrey knew him too well.

"It all happened so fast... They had to do the caesarean section for the second child and... She can't just leave like this..."

He dropped the sentence, unable to continue. The bodyguard didn't look at him, but he knew what he was feeling and he was suffering with him.

"What! Norman please tell me that Y/N is not-..."

"No! No, she's alive! But I don't know anything, they sent me out of the operating room without telling me anything... I only know that she lost a lot of blood, I don't even know how they called it. I also signed up for a transfusion."

"Fuck! But why? She doesn't deserve that! Listen to me Norman... I'll join you immediately, okay? I'll talk to Hilarie..."

"Please don't alarm her... You know how it is, she would catapult herself here."

"Yes, okay, I'll try to be delicate. But let me know if there are any changes. And tell me, do you need anything? Do you want me to get to your house and get the kids? I am convinced that they will want to be there!"

Yes, he had to warn Mingus and the others...


	152. Chapter 146

"Am I as dead as a Walker now too?"

Y/N just moved her eyelids, whispering those words in an unrecognizable voice.  
Norman tried to smile but wanted to just cry with relief.  
He had never doubted her, he knew she would make it.  
He squeezed her hand and realized that it was warm, as was her color, which was turning pink thanks to the transfusion.

"Yes, now you're a Walker ready to bite some survivers in the apocalypse...", he replied, glancing at the almost empty blood bag.

"Are you thirsty?"

Y/N nodded with her eyes closed and Norman placed a handkerchief soaked in fresh water on her lips. He vaguely remembered the annoying effects of anesthesia, the chills, the nausea and the thirst made more tremendous by the fact of not being able to move.

"Where are they?"  
Y/N tried to look around, not hearing the cries of her children.

"In the nursery... They're fine, they look so funny with those huge diapers!"

The woman's faint smile turned into a grimace of pain.

"Do you want to see them?"  
Norman came over with the mobile phone to show her the photos he had just taken of the twins.

Y/N's eyes immediately filled with tears at that sight.  
"Oh god... They are tiny! Iwant to go to see them...", Y/N finally whispered in a clearer voice.

"You'll see them soon... Soon you'll be back on your feet. But now you must try to rest and gather your strength."

He kissed her hand, savoring that moment of pure joy and stood there, looking at her for a few seconds in silence.

"You were very good, my darling! Very good."

He felt the now well-known burning in the eyes, the one that foretold new tears. He had experienced so many emotions in the last few hours that he couldn't even manage them anymore.

"You too.", Y/N smiled slightly, bringing a hand to her aching belly.

Her head was still spinning and she felt that the effect of anesthesia was fading slowly but she didn't want to give in to fatigue, she didn't want to sleep yet.

"No. I didn't do anything this time."

Norman tried to erase from his mind the memory of those moments of suffering.

"Your parents are already on the plane..."

Y/N had the instinct to laugh but had to stifle a groan.  
"Is it possible that I asked about my mother?"

"Yes, you did. But don't worry, we won't tell them!"

They both knew the effect that revelation would have on her mother: On one hand she would have felt guilty for not having flown to America first, and on the other she would have been only too happy to know that her daughter was finally asking for her help.  
Norman sat down next to the bed, slowly touching her forehead and hair.

"I still can't believe it... It happened all so fast... I was convinced that everything was okay..."

The woman narrowed her eyes, enjoying the light touch.  
"But I was okay, I was just very tired..."

He showed her a slight groggy smile.  
"I should never have left you alone..."

"But I wasn't alone! The poor driver! You had to see his face, he was shocked when I told him that the waters had broken!"

Norman couldn't smile at that story. Although everything had worked out for the better, he still felt all the anguish.  
He realized that Y/N had deliberately avoided talking about his Ex's presence from the evening and had the impression that the woman had more to do with the fatigue.  
He restrained himself before open


	153. Epilogue

"Hey, get back here right away!"

It was a real massacre, Norman didn't have time to reach a child, the other one slipped away immediately. Since they had learned to walk, they had become crazy.

"Got him! Hey Norman! I think you lost something! Do you want him back?"

Mingus lifted the child up, making the act of throwing him into the void and the little boy answered with a shout of joy.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"

Norman took his son from Mingus' arms, giving him a look of disapproval.  
He too had to go through that period of rebellion, in which his father had become just Norman or 'his old man', yet he hated that his son called him by his name.

"So, where are we going with this BBQ?"

Y/N went down the steps, which led from the living room to the veranda.

"Wait, I'll help!"

To his surprise it was Mingus, to help her with the food and put them on the table already set.  
He and the woman were good friends, Norman would never have imagined that his boy would become so mature and smart.

"The embers are ready... Now it's up to the vegetables! Hey old man, do you want one?"  
Mingus pretended to throw him a beer, stopping with a mischievous smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Come on... You can't even joke about it?"

"Put that beer down, boy!"

For a moment he felt as if he had heard his father's voice instead of his own and he felt even worse.

"It's just a beer!"

"And you're too young! Wasn't your party enough? You know that-..."

"...- That you at my age... Yes I know! But it's been two years since that party and it doesn't mean that I have to be as stupid as you were! I only need this for the meat!"  
He returned to the BBQ, reviving the embers with expert gestures.

Norman reached for the table, taking a beer in his turn and taking another from one of his son's curious hands.  
"Hey, that goes for you too!"

The child was finally freed by his father and trotted happily towards his mother with his little legs. He let himself be lifted up on a chair, to observe carefully every move of Y/N.  
He was like that, he was a great observer, a silent child with an extremely determined character and not at all capricious. He always knew what he wanted and he never missed an opportunity to demonstrate at his tender age, the independent and sometimes shy nature.  
Norman found him very similar to his wife. Although both children physically resembled their mother, he saw in him the same fighting spirit and that deep and melancholy look, from which it was often very difficult to break away.  
His other son, on the other hand, was a miniature hurricane: Talkative, often unmanageable. He would have been the one who would have given his parents more trouble, with his all-too-expansive character and the poor sense of danger. Norman's mother always said that it reminded him very much of him as a child. His features had remained more delicate than his brother's and his eyes were often tinged with a lighter note, similar to the sea on the coast.  
The twins were almost eighteen months old now and it was their first real vacation on the island.  
Norman had decided to go to his corner of paradise to celebrate his birthday and had taken a few weeks off from filming, so as to give himself a little well-deserved rest with his family. 

Like every time the baby's cunning little face turned into a flickering pout, before becoming a inconsolable cry.

"Come here love..."  
Y/N's sweet voice made him forget that he had just been scolded and persuaded him to run towards the table, risking falling at least three times.

Finally free, Norman uncorked a bottle of beer making it splash everywhere.

"Fuck!", he snapped, looking at his shorts, which were completely covered with it.

"Dad!"  
Mingus immediately warned him with a stern look. He didn't have to swear in front of the children.

"Oh Mingus, come on...", he complained, taking off his trousers and remaining with unlikely white and blue underwear.

"Dad what are those? Go and change... Please, they suck!"

Y/N only rolled her eyes.  
"Boys..."

Norman was completely ignored by his son, who continued.  
He talked wrapped in the smoke of the BBQ, turning the peppers and aubergines with a chef's skill.  
Norman got up, approaching the grill with a frown.  
His son was growing up fast, he was entering the real world and was getting out of hand.  
He wanted to go back two years before, when he was most worried about spying on the bonfire on his party.

In the meantime their daughter made everyone sweeten, with the genuinely worried and sad expression she addressed to her brother. She and Mingus were so close, maybe because they had so many years of difference and the boy had always been like a second father to her.

"The appetizers are ready. Do you come to the table?"

Y/N put down the two large plates on the white tablecloth and Norman resigned himself to starting with the great maneuvers of preparation of the twins, who, while eating alone, became very dangerous when it came to being sitting on their high chairs.  
Norman sat down next to C/N, knowing already that Y/N would take care of his brother, who with her seemed to become more docile. Mingus served his sisters plate and all together they prepared to eat with the sound of the sea in the background and the smell of the grill, which filled the air.  
It was a normal birthday, the kind of normality that Norman had always dreamed of, ever since he saw his parents as a child arguing from morning to evening and moving from one house to another, unable to settle down anywhere.  
He became more comfortable, clearing his throat before everyone pounced on the food.  
He had been waiting for that moment for months now. Indeed, if you thought about it, it was years that it was going through his mind. And now it had finally arrived.

"Excuse me, before I start I would like to tell you something... Yes, I mean, I would like to take this opportunity, since we are here all together for once..."

"Come on Dad! Now? I terribly hungry!"

Mingus was already about to bite into a piece of sausage, when his father's awkward words forced him to stop.

"What's up Norman?"

Y/N looked at him apprehensively, while her son grabbed the food with his hands and mechanically carried it to his mouth, not centering it perfectly.  
The woman watched him with a strange expression painted on her face. They talked about everything, but this time Norman hadn't anticipated anything, knowing he would try to make her give up.

"Speak, Norman!"

The man sipped his beer, before wiping his lips and continuing with more difficulty.

"Well... I... I decided that 'The Walking Dead'... Well, in short, it will be my last project."

"What?"  
Mingus almost jumped at his neck. He would never have allowed it.

"I've been thinking about this for so many months now... I've been going on with this absurd life for so many years, I've missed most of the important things and... I'm afraid I don't have time to recover. So let's face it, I'm tired of disguising myself as Daryl Dixon, even if I love it."

"What are you saying? Nobody forces you to disguise yourself... You, you love it!", Mingus protested in shock.

"Yes maybe... Listen, I'm not lazy! It's just that I want to finally understand who I am. I've always been someone else."

"But no! No! You have always been yourself! You always said it... Always! "

If Mingus would've started crying, then Norman knew he couldn't resist, so he tried to say everything before it happened. His son knew his weapons too well.

"I want to be able to say it before it's too late! I want to eat without anyone giving me some deadlines to get back in shape too. And then yes, I want to move without bodyguards, I want to drive my car with the windows down and do what interests me without being forced to clean myself up every now and then, to make a good impression on people when you need to earn some extra money. I'm not like that, I've never been... I'm not for designer suits and elegant shoes. I want to visit a city without having tight schedules, without being chased like a thug! It's time."

"No dad! You can't do that!"  
His son seemed more and more upset.

"But why not, Mingus? We could do a lot of things instead. We could go back to Tokyo and see it seriously this time, we could devote ourselves to managing the theater in Paris... And let's not forget that there are these three creatures to keep at bay..."

He glanced towards his wife, who gave no sign of having heard him.  
Why didn't she say anything? She had merely recognized the news, going back to one of her sons as if nothing had happened and was now avoiding it.

"So won't you say anything?"

"What should I say? Okay... You're officially retired! Can we eat now?"

Norman was a little hurt, he hoped he would get a little more support and instead it seemed that no one really cared, only Mingus.  
He nodded and concentrated on his son's plate, while the silence had settled on the table.  
From time to time he cast furtive glances towards those present, without getting any reaction.  
He opened his mouth to ask for explanations but stopped himself. It was only a couple of seconds before he thought about it again.

"Y/N, say something!"

He saw her put her fork down and wipe her son's mouth before looking at him with her most enigmatic expression. Now she would tell him he was a madman, that he had disappointed her and that he had no intention of living his life with a former actor without any balls.  
He searched for her eyes, but got nothing but a deep sigh.

"What should I tell you Norman? Do you think it will be enough to stop acting so as not to attract attention?"

Norman looked down, he knew very well that it would not be so simple; his destiny seemed to have been marked from there to eternity. But he absolutely had to do something to break that circle, in which he had been sucked in.  
Yes, because what Norman would never have admitted with his family, with Y/N and perhaps not even with himself, was that the last events of their lives, not only had frightened him but moved something deep in his soul. The episode of the kidnapping, as well as the consequences of the media aggression set by his manager and the paparazzi, made it clear the enormity of what had become and the terrible consequences that this could bring.  
He was tired of hiding, he was tired of worrying about the people he most loved, he was tired of not being able to allow his family to be a real family.  
If his wife had known for sure she probably would not have allowed it, especially after the number of hours of analysis and the nights spent talking and talking about what had happened that evening more than a year before. Norman had made progress, he had stopped looking over his shoulder and had also started to be natural again with the fans, but deep down he still felt that sort of restlessness and the idea of being one step away from freedom.

Y/N was still looking at him, maybe she was expecting an answer from him but got nothing more than a nod, so she went on.

"Okay... Do you want to know how I really feel about it? But listen to me well because I have no intention of ever repeating something so senseless! Okay... I think it was time for some of us to become a serious person! This world of money and sequins is drying us up and we should have the good sense to get off the train before going crazy... But we know that I'm not the wisest of us."

Her face gave way to one beautiful smile and Norman felt like he was reborn, just as if his wife had just taken a huge weight off of hin.

"Are you serious? Aren't you angry? Won't you try to make me change my mind?"

"Oh, of course I will. But I already have the impression that Mingus will take care of that!"

He caught the complicit gaze that Y/N exchanged with his son, before starting over.

"Do not fool yourself, if it was up to me you would continue shooting movies for the rest of your life, there is still too much to do! But it takes courage to abandon a career like yours, to say that it's enough and not to risk falling into the ridiculous, stubbornly digging in the residues of one's notoriety. You did so much, Norman! You've done more than you can imagine and yes, even if I'm sorry I don't see you on the screen anymore, I think you can afford it. You deserve to do what you want! And I will be there with you... Indeed, we will be there!"

Y/N cast a glance over all those present, to confirm that what she had said was shared by all. Their daughter was the first to respond with an affirmative smile, even though she didn't understand much of what was happening.  
Norman now just stared at her with a look full of gratitude. That was the woman he had married, the one he had chosen and with whom he would end his days.

"And then if we look at the practical side... It will mean that I will be the star of the house, finally!"

Now Y/N was teasing him.

"I will be able to shoot another four films a year and spend as much time as I want on the set with Greg and the others, while you are too busy going to teacher meetings..."

Y/N gave him one of her cunning looks, she was provoking him.  
He cleared his throat, trying to push back his amused expression.

"It would be better to start eating."

Mingus immediately reproached him with a more relaxed expression, he seemed to have fully understood Y/N's words now.  
Norman smiled and went back to his youngest son, listening absently to the words the others.  
Without realizing it, he looked at each one of those present: Mingus' bold expression, Y/N's beautiful smile, his daughter's adorable dimples, C/N's deep eyes and C/N's small pout.  
They were all pieces of him. They told him who he really was, they were his mirror, his most beautiful performance. He didn't need anything else.  
He turned around, feeling observed and met the Y/E/C of those eyes, the only one capable of infusing him with that sense of peace and security, which perhaps he had never really found anywhere else.  
In that instant he realized that this was the first day of his normalcy.  
In Norman's life nothing had really been 'normal' and he had been an illusion, if for a short time he had identified calm with the achievement of that normality, from which he had always fled.  
Norman was now just a normal man and yes, even a happy man.  
Not of the happiness that takes you up high and then leave you the thrill of the descent, the one that seems to tie your guts and makes you commit a lot of nonsense, which makes you feel incredibly alive, to then reduce you to crumbs.

Norman was happy because for the first time he really felt at peace with himself, with the man he had become through adventures, pains and mistakes. And he, who had never really appreciated himself, he who had never really loved himself, now knew he deserved it.

Norman deserved that happiness and so did the woman he would die for.


	154. Author's Note

A/N: I am not very good at speeches and stuff like that, so I will try to keep the line that I have kept up to now, without getting too excited. This story has accompanied me for a long time now and maybe if I hadn't been in such a hurry to publish it, I could have go on with it for more than a year. Without even realizing it, I found myself facing important issues in this story which could happen to anyone, often much bigger, but with the fear that they wouldn't be understood or that they would be read by you all without the right touch.  
I fought with my insecurity and the desire to give it all up halfway due to a lack of feedback, where I know that some people followed from the beginning, yet remaining silent. I was going through moments of carelessness and real frustration, because after all the chapters I actually wanted which were around 90; but now there are many, many more and I CAN'T say that I didn't put my heart, time and effort into it.  
(maybe I'll even write much longer stories in the future?)

But then, thinking about it, I understood that I could no longer stop writing and publishing, if only for those few special people who welcomed me, endured and supported me on this journey.  
I thank everyone, from those who have read and stopped halfway, to those who started late and followed me to the end. I also thank those who only read a couple of chapters, got bored and never read the whole story until the end.

And then my special thanks goes to a special user on Wattpad, who has made me feel welcomed to continue with this story, even when I couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to delete everything.

It made me feel proud and not useless, thanks to the passion with which it spurred me to continue and pushed me, making me feel like I had done something good, even if it's just fiction.

And finally also thanks to the amazing Norman Reedus, an extraordinary and precious human being, a fantastic person that I will never stop thanking for the ideas he has given me in this not real but intense roller coster ride. I never expected that such a beautiful mind-wandering story could be created from a simple fantasy flight and I am grateful that Wattpad exists to write it down and to make people happy.

I thank you, as the readers, for letting these chapters remain a simple fiction, but transforming them into something deeper, so concrete and real in your and my own imagination.

I don't know what you think of my choice but in my head it is the (almost) perfect epilogue of a slightly imperfect life. This doesn't mean that a thousand doors can remain open and that inside my mind the Norman and the reader in this story still have another hundred chapters to live... 

You have to know when to close the door, right?

So I close it by leaving you this story, which probably won't stop to move me for a long time and I believe the epilogue is good enough for what I think is the perfect end.

It was a wonderful journey.

See you soon with another book!

Kate~


End file.
